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a funeral director, an ex-god, and a weretiger walk into a bar

Chapter 11: clowns are such idiots!

Summary:

She stared.
Then slowly turned toward Zhongli. “We are killing the clown.”
“No,” Zhongli said.
“We are maiming the clown.”
“No.”
“We are spiritually inconveniencing the clown.”
A pause.
Zhongli said, “Later.”

Notes:

hunting dog arc begins!

atsushi deserves paid leave. zhongli is about to become everyone’s least favorite variable. hu tao is banned from marketing drinks themed after murder cases.

thank you neuah for beta-ing this chapter:)

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Mushitarō Oguri had never considered himself a coward.

A coward, in his professional opinion, was someone who panicked without style. Someone who screamed before assessing the acoustics of the room. Someone who betrayed all composure the moment blood appeared.

Mushitarō had seen blood before. Plenty of it. Occasionally on carpets.

He was, however, beginning to reconsider his definition.

Because the driver’s head hit the steering wheel with a wet, final sound, and Mushitarō found himself staring at the newly dead man’s profile with his mouth hanging open like a fish that had spent all its life judging other fish for lacking dignity.

There was blood on the dashboard. There was blood on the glass.

There was, most offensively, blood on the cuff of Mushitarō’s sleeve.

“Ah,” said the policeman outside the car window, lowering the gun. “Incorrect answer!”

Mushitarō made a noise. It was not a scream. It was not. It was a brief, elegant expression of existential betrayal.

The officer leaned closer. His smile widened under the brim of his cap. “Pop quiz! Question one: what do you call a rescue that turns into a kidnapping?”

Mushitarō stared at him.

The officer tapped the barrel of the gun against his own cheek. “Come now. Guess.”

“A mistake,” Mushitarō said, voice strangled.

The officer’s face lit up. “Ooh! Philosophically compelling, but wrong.”

Then he peeled off his own face.

Not literally. Though for one terrible second, Mushitarō thought he might.

The skin shifted. The uniform seemed suddenly less official, the posture too theatrical to belong to any civil servant who had ever lived. White hair spilled free. A painted grin appeared beneath the disguise, sharp and delighted and altogether inappropriate for a man standing beside a corpse.

A clown. Of course. Of course it was a clown.

Mushitarō had known Dostoevsky. He had met murderers, liars, geniuses, and bureaucrats, which were sometimes the same thing wearing different shoes. But somehow, the clown felt like a personal insult.

“Nikolai Gogol!” the man declared, arms thrown wide. “At your service. Or your doom. Whichever makes the evening more memorable.”

Mushitarō’s fingers twitched toward the radio transceiver.

Gogol noticed.

His eyes sparkled.

“Question two,” he sang. “How many angels does it take to end a world?”

Mushitarō went cold.

“Five,” Gogol whispered. “A murder association of five. We call ourselves the Decay of the Angel.”

Outside the vehicle, the city continued breathing.

A vending machine buzzed somewhere down the street. A bicycle bell rang. Someone laughed from an alley, distant and unaware. All these small, ridiculous sounds of life pressed against the car windows as though the world had not just tilted beneath Mushitarō’s feet.

Five people.

Decay.

Angel.

Dostoevsky.

The shape of the trap showed itself for only a second, but that second was enough.

Mushitarō lunged.

Despite the blood. Despite the gun. Despite every screaming instinct in his body telling him that touching the radio was an excellent way to become a decorative corpse.

His fingers closed around the transceiver.

Static hissed.

“Ranpo!” he shouted. “Ranpo Edogawa, listen to me. Do not take the next case. Whatever they bring you—whatever the government asks—refuse it. The Agency is—”

Gunshots cracked through the car.

The line shrieked.

Then went dead.

Gogol sighed happily into the silence.

“Incorrect timing.”


One month later, Atsushi Nakajima got punched in the ribs by a notebook.

This was not a metaphor.

Kunikida Doppo had manifested a notebook-thick baton out of thin air and struck him with it because apparently “physical conditioning” included being assaulted by stationery.

Atsushi hit the mat with a wheeze.

“Again,” Kunikida said.

Atsushi stared at the ceiling. It had water stains shaped vaguely like depressed sheep.

He missed the café. He missed cups. Cups did not hit back. Cups did not tell him his footwork was “an insult to the concept of balance.” Cups did not manifest from notebooks and attack him in the spleen.

“I thought this was defensive training,” Atsushi groaned.

“It is,” Kunikida replied, adjusting his glasses. “You failed to defend.”

Rude.

Technically true, but rude.

From the corner of the rented training hall, Zhongli made a low, thoughtful sound. He stood with his arms folded, posture immaculate, suit untouched by sweat, dust, or the general indignity of being alive. He had watched the entire session with the grave expression of a man attending a funeral for Atsushi’s coordination.

“The tiger is strong,” Zhongli said.

Atsushi lifted his head hopefully.

“But you remain weak.”

Atsushi dropped his head back onto the mat.

Never mind. He hated this.

Hu Tao, sitting cross-legged beside the wall with a paper bag of roasted chestnuts, gasped. “Aiya, brutal! Hit him again, Kunikida. Maybe his pride will fall out.”

“I’m already on the floor,” Atsushi muttered.

“Yes,” Zhongli said. “That is part of the issue.”

Kunikida nodded, terrifyingly pleased. “Your ability compensates for poor fundamentals. You rely on instinct because instinct has saved your life. But instinct alone is not discipline.”

Atsushi sat up, rubbing his side. “I’m starting to think discipline is just a word adults use when they want to hit teenagers with office supplies.”

“I am twenty-two,” Kunikida said.

“That makes it worse somehow.”

Hu Tao clapped once. “Little Sushi, less commentary, more tragic perseverance.”

“You’re enjoying this too much.”

“I’m an observer of human suffering,” she said cheerfully. “It’s my field.”

Zhongli stepped forward and offered Atsushi a hand.

Atsushi took it.

Zhongli pulled him up with no visible effort, which was always a little embarrassing. Atsushi had seen this man send Fitzgerald flying across the Moby Dick with a spear and then complain more about seawater than combat. He should be used to it by now.

He was not.

Zhongli adjusted Atsushi’s shoulders with two precise taps. “Your stance folds inward when you anticipate pain.”

Atsushi blinked. “Does it?”

“Yes,” Kunikida and Zhongli said at the same time.

Hu Tao pointed a chestnut at him. “You do this little turtle thing.”

“I do not do a turtle thing.”

“You absolutely do,” she said. “Like a sad turtle in debt.”

Atsushi closed his eyes.

There were days when he wondered what would have happened if Dazai had found him first. Maybe he’d be more competent by now. Maybe he’d be less likely to get roasted by a funeral director eating chestnuts like battlefield rations.

Then again, Dazai’s idea of training probably involved throwing him off a bridge and calling it exposure therapy.

So. Maybe this was fine.

Kunikida reset his stance. “Again.”

Atsushi breathed in. Four counts. Hold. Out for six.


The Armed Detective Agency smelled like paper, coffee, and the specific kind of exhaustion that came from being employed by fate.

Atsushi arrived late afternoon with a box of custard buns from Café Uzumaki, because if he had to walk into a room full of detectives discussing grisly murders, he was at least going to bring sugar.

The office was tense.

 Normal Agency tension involved Kunikida yelling, Dazai disappearing, Ranpo complaining about snack quality, and Yosano sharpening something that may or may not have been medically necessary.

This was different.

Fukuzawa stood near the center of the room, the Shikyū Award certificate placed carefully on the desk beside him. He had received it that morning from Vice Minister Tonan himself for the Agency’s contributions to public safety. Atsushi had seen the news clip on the café television. Fukuzawa had looked composed. Tonan had looked important. Ranpo had looked like he wanted to be anywhere else.

Now the award sat there like a paper shield against something much larger.

Atsushi set the buns down quietly. No one reached for them.

That was when he knew it was bad.

Kunikida stood by the board, sleeves rolled up, a timeline of murder scenes pinned behind him. Four victims in one week. All killed in different, deliberate, horrific ways. No obvious connection except the message left behind: Decay of the Angel.

Atsushi stared at the name.

Great.

Murder association with branding.

Hu Tao would have hated it. Or loved it. Possibly both.

There were other notes pinned beneath the main heading. Fragments. Rumors. One witness claimed a masked figure had been seen near the second victim’s hotel. Another report mentioned a bureaucrat who had suddenly confessed to knowing “the truth he wanted most” before throwing himself from a balcony. A third note, underlined twice by Kunikida, read: possible information-exchange ability? unverified.

“The government has formally requested our intervention,” Kunikida said. “They believe a fifth murder will occur soon.”

“Not believe,” Ranpo muttered from his chair. He had his hat pulled low over his face. “Know.”

Atsushi glanced at him.

Ranpo wasn’t eating.

That was worse than the buns.

Fukuzawa’s gaze turned toward Ranpo. “Your assessment?”

“No.”

The word struck the room flat.

Kunikida stiffened. “Ranpo?”

“I said no.” Ranpo stood abruptly, chair scraping against the floor. His face was pale with anger, or fear, or something Atsushi had never seen on him before and immediately did not like. “I refuse the case.”

Silence.

Yosano’s brows drew together. “Ranpo.”

He didn’t look at her.

“Mushitarō warned me,” he said. “Before the gunshots. He said not to take the next case the government brings us. So no. I’m not playing their game.”

Kunikida’s mouth tightened. “We cannot ignore an active murder case.”

“We can if ignoring it keeps us alive,” Ranpo snapped.

Atsushi felt the temperature in the room drop.

Fukuzawa was quiet for a long moment. Then: “It is our duty to protect the innocent. Even if the risk is great.”

Ranpo’s hands clenched at his sides. “You don’t get it.”

“Then make me understand.”

Ranpo’s mouth opened.

Nothing came out.

For the first time since Atsushi had known him, Ranpo looked like someone had placed the answer directly behind his teeth and made it impossible to speak. His fingers twitched once. Then he pressed them flat against his coat, forcing his own body to behave.

Atsushi watched him swallow.

It hurt more than shouting would have.

“No,” Ranpo said, voice softer now. “You’ll see it when it happens.”

He turned away.

“Ranpo,” Fukuzawa said.

Ranpo stopped at the door but did not look back.

“If we take this case,” he said, “then the case takes us.”

The door shut behind him with a click that sounded too final.

Atsushi stared after him, unease curling low in his stomach.

Ranpo, who treated locked rooms like children’s puzzles and murderers like badly written riddles, had just refused a case.

Excellent. Wonderful. Fantastic. Atsushi loved when the smartest person in the room decided the room was haunted and  left.

Fukuzawa closed his eyes briefly. When he opened them again, his voice was steady. “We proceed.”

Kunikida straightened. “Yes, sir.”

Atsushi looked at the untouched buns.

Somewhere, a clock ticked.


Hu Tao took the news better than expected.

By which Atsushi meant she did not immediately climb onto the roof and declare war on the murder association.

She did, however, spend ten full minutes lying upside down on the couch, reading the newspaper article with her legs hooked over the backrest and her face slowly twisting into theatrical disgust.

“Decay of the Angel,” she said again. “No. Absolutely not.”

Atsushi looked up from the floor, where he was sorting the flyers Hu Tao had printed for Wangsheng’s “quiet consultation services.” “No?”

“No,” she said. “Too heavy-handed. Too self-serious. It’s giving amateur poetry night at a cemetery.”

Zhongli, seated at the low table, did not look up from the tea he was pouring. “It is a terrorist organization, Director Hu. I doubt aesthetic restraint was their primary concern.”

“That’s exactly the problem,” she said, rolling sideways and nearly falling off the couch. “If you’re going to invoke angels, decay, and celestial collapse, commit! Give me doctrine. Give me symbolism. Give me a pamphlet that makes me go, ‘Oh, this person needs either enlightenment or a shovel.’”

Atsushi stared at her.

She stared back.

“What?”

“Nothing,” he said quickly.

Zhongli set a cup in front of him. “You are troubled.”

Atsushi wrapped his fingers around the warmth. “The Agency is taking the case.”

Hu Tao stopped joking.

Zhongli’s expression did not change, but the room seemed to settle around him. The air went still.

“Ranpo refused it,” Atsushi continued. “Because someone warned him not to. But the President said we have to continue.”

“And what do you think?” Zhongli asked.

Atsushi looked down at the tea.

What did he think?

He thought Ranpo refusing anything was a bad sign. He thought the Agency was walking into something with its eyes open because duty had hands around its throat. He thought Dazai hadn’t shown up, which meant either he was already five steps ahead or currently face-down in a river.

Both were equally possible.

“I think,” Atsushi said slowly, “that I’m scared.”

Hu Tao sat up fully.

Atsushi expected himself to feel embarrassed. He didn’t. Not as much as before.

“That is reasonable,” Zhongli said.

Hu Tao nodded. “Very reasonable. Murder poetry cults are scary. Bad vibes. Terrible branding. Worse intentions.”

Atsushi smiled faintly despite himself.

Zhongli folded his hands. “Fear is not failure. It is information. You would do well to listen to it.”

Atsushi looked at him. “And if it says to run?”

“Then ask what you are running from,” Zhongli replied. “Danger, or responsibility.”

Rude again.

Useful, but rude.

Hu Tao leaned forward, chin in both hands. “And if it says to hide under the table, bring snacks. I’ll join you.”

“That’s not helping.”

“It helps morale.”

Zhongli’s gaze drifted toward the window.

Outside, Yokohama glittered beneath the evening sky, all electric light and rushing traffic. Alive. Unaware.

His voice lowered. “An organization that announces the demise of the celestial world is not merely threatening death. It is threatening order.”

Hu Tao’s smile thinned. “You thinking what I’m thinking?”

“That depends,” Zhongli said. “Are you considering reckless intervention?”

“I was considering tasteful intervention.”

“Then no.”

Atsushi’s phone buzzed. All three of them looked at it. Atsushi picked it up. Unknown number.

He answered cautiously. “Hello?”

“Nakajima-kun?” The voice was strained. Familiar. “This is Ango Sakaguchi.”

Atsushi straightened.

Hu Tao mouthed, Who?

Zhongli’s eyes sharpened.

“I can’t reach Dazai,” Ango said. “Listen carefully. There may be a government official involved with the group targeting the Agency. I don’t have enough proof yet, but the evidence points inward. Someone close to the investigation.”

Atsushi’s grip tightened around the phone.

“Do not repeat this openly,” Ango continued. “Not until I can verify it. If anyone from the Ministry asks what you know, say nothing.”

“Okay,” Atsushi said. His voice came out steadier than he felt. “I understand.”

The line went quiet for half a second.

Then Ango said, softer, “Be careful. If Dazai is unreachable, assume the situation is dire.”

The call ended. Atsushi stared at the screen.

Hu Tao leaned over. “So. Bad?”

Atsushi swallowed. “Very bad.”

Zhongli rose.

It was a small movement. Simple. Controlled.

But something in the room shifted with him.

“Then we shall prepare,” he said.


The next morning, Atsushi met Vice Minister Tonan by accident.

Or, well. “Accident.”

He was leaving Café Uzumaki after dropping off extra supplies from the apartment—Hu Tao had insisted the café needed more protective charms after hearing the words “government conspiracy,” and Mr. Uzumaki had accepted them with the dead-eyed calm of a man who had long ago surrendered to supernatural customer service—when Tonan appeared at the end of the street.

He was well-dressed. Polished. Smiling.

Atsushi had seen him on television standing beside Fukuzawa, handing over the award. He had looked smaller then, framed by cameras and applause. In person, he had the smoothness of someone used to doors opening before he touched them.

“Nakajima Atsushi, correct?” Tonan asked.

Atsushi froze.

His first instinct was to say no.

His second instinct was to transform into a tiger and run into the sea.

Neither seemed professionally advisable.

“Yes,” he said carefully.

Tonan smiled. “A member of the Armed Detective Agency.”

“Part-time,” Atsushi replied before he could stop himself.

Why did he say that. Why was that his defense.

Hello, sir, yes, I am only part-time employed by the suspicious organization under government scrutiny. Please adjust your conspiracy accordingly.

Tonan’s smile didn’t move. “Of course. I was having coffee nearby and thought I recognized you.”

Atsushi’s nose twitched. No coffee. Not on his breath. Not on his coat. Not on his hands. He smelled ink. Car leather. Faint antiseptic. And something metallic beneath it, like old coins held too tightly.

But no coffee. Atsushi’s spine prickled.

“Are you involved in the investigation?” Tonan asked, conversationally.

Ango’s warning flashed through his mind. Say nothing.

Atsushi smiled. It felt terrible on his face. “No,” he said. “I mostly deliver pastries.”

Tonan blinked once.

Atsushi kept smiling.

This was fine. This was believable. He did deliver pastries. Often. Against his will sometimes, but still.

“Pastries,” Tonan repeated.

“Yes,” Atsushi said. “Custard buns, mostly.”

Behind him, the café door cracked open. Lucy peered out, eyes narrowed.

Not subtle.

At all.

Tonan’s gaze flicked past Atsushi, then back.

“I see,” he said pleasantly. “Well. Give my regards to your President.”

Atsushi bowed because his body did that when his brain panicked. “I will.”

Tonan walked away.

Atsushi waited until he turned the corner.

Then he exhaled so hard his knees nearly gave out.

Lucy stepped onto the sidewalk. “That was the worst lie I’ve ever heard.”

“I panicked.”

“You said pastries.”

“I do deliver pastries!”

“You looked like you were confessing to tax fraud.”

Atsushi rubbed both hands over his face. “Please don’t tell Hu Tao.”

Lucy stared at him.

From inside the café, Hu Tao’s voice rang out: “Tell me what?”

Atsushi closed his eyes.

Of course.

Of course she heard.


Dazai Osamu was arrested at a racing stadium.

Atsushi heard about it thirty minutes later, from Kunikida, whose voice over the phone was doing that terrifyingly calm thing that meant his stress had transcended shouting and entered paperwork.

“A Hunting Dog took him,” Kunikida said.

Atsushi stopped in the middle of the sidewalk.

Hu Tao, walking beside him with a bag of incense sticks, bumped into his shoulder. “Oof.”

“What?” Atsushi said into the phone.

“Dazai has been arrested,” Kunikida repeated. “For past crimes. Evidence resurfaced.”

Atsushi’s first thought was: past crimes?

His second thought was: That could mean anything.

His third thought was: Oh no.

Hu Tao stopped smiling.

Zhongli, who had been inspecting a storefront sign with mild disapproval, turned.

“Kunikida,” Atsushi said, his voice too tight, “what do we do?”

A pause.

In the background, Atsushi heard papers shifting. Voices. Yosano saying something sharp. Kenji asking if they should bring snacks to jail, which was very Kenji and also somehow made this worse.

“We continue the investigation,” Kunikida said. “Dazai would expect no less.”

Atsushi wanted to laugh. Not because it was funny.

Because of course Dazai would get arrested right before everything got worse. Of course the man who made contingency plans inside contingency plans had somehow become the missing piece and the problem at the same time.

Atsushi hung up after promising to return to the Agency.

For a moment, none of them spoke.

Then Hu Tao said, “So the bandage man got arrested.”

“Yes,” Atsushi said.

“For crimes he definitely did commit.”

“Probably.”

“But at an inconvenient time.”

“Very.”

Hu Tao nodded solemnly. “Rude of the law, honestly.”

Zhongli did not smile. His gaze had gone distant, fixed on something neither of them could see.

“A resurfaced sin,” he murmured.

Atsushi looked at him. “What?”

Zhongli’s eyes lowered to him. “Evidence does not simply return from burial. Hands lift it. Voices name it. Men decide which bones deserve daylight.”

Hu Tao’s expression darkened. “Someone’s digging graves.”

“And arranging them into scripture,” Zhongli said.

Atsushi’s stomach turned.

He thought of Tonan’s smile. No coffee. Old coins. Metal under the skin of the morning.

He thought of Ranpo walking out.

He thought of Dazai in handcuffs, probably smiling like he’d planned it, because Dazai smiled at cliffs and bullets and rivers. But Atsushi knew better now. Sometimes a smile was a locked door.

“I need to go,” Atsushi said.

Zhongli nodded. “We shall accompany you.”

Atsushi blinked. “To the Agency?”

“To its threshold,” Zhongli corrected. “I have no desire to intrude upon their investigation.”

Hu Tao snorted.

Zhongli looked at her.

She raised both hands. “Sorry. Sorry. I’m being respectful. Very solemn. Much restraint.”

Atsushi stared at them both.

“You’re absolutely going to interfere.”

Hu Tao grinned.

Zhongli said nothing, which was somehow worse.


The broadcast arrived with music.

Not the dramatic kind. Not thunderous orchestral terror, not some ominous chord that politely announced hello, I am evil now. It was jaunty. Bright. Almost playful.

Which, in Atsushi’s experience, meant it was about to ruin his entire day.

The screen in the Agency office flickered once.

Then the clown appeared.

White hair. Painted grin. Hat tilted at an angle that made him look less like a person and more like a bad decision with stage lighting.

For a moment, nobody spoke.

Kunikida froze mid-motion, the report still pinched between his fingers. The paper bent under his grip, one corner crumpling inward.

Beside him, Yosano’s hand tightened around the handle of her medical case until the leather creaked. Her face stayed composed, but her eyes sharpened in a way that made the room feel colder.

Kenji stopped chewing.

That was when Atsushi became afraid.

Kenji, who could smile through gunfire and offer snacks during tactical briefings, held half a custard bun in his hand and did not finish it.

Atsushi stared at the screen and thought, very clearly:

No. Not out of fear. Not even disbelief.

Just exhaustion.

There should be rules. There should be some cosmic limit to how many theatrical criminals one city had to endure in a single fiscal year. Yokohama already had mafia politics, cannibalism viruses, flying whales, sniper novelists, and Dazai. Adding a clown felt excessive. Greedy, even.

The clown swept into a bow so deep his hat nearly fell off.

“I am Nikolai Gogol! Performer! Revolutionary! Very handsome hostage-taker!”

Behind him, the camera panned.

Five chairs sat in a row.

Five government officials were strapped into them.

Atsushi’s stomach dropped.

Each chair was built like a nightmare designed by someone who had misunderstood furniture on a spiritual level. Metal restraints. Rotating blades. Mechanical arms angled above shoulders and ribs.

Chainsaws.

Actual chainsaws.

Atsushi stared.

I want to go home.

Then, immediately:

I am home. That’s the problem.

Vice Minister Tonan was among the hostages, face gray with terror.

Kunikida swore under his breath.

Gogol wagged a finger at the camera. “Rules! Every good game needs them. You have thirty minutes to save these distinguished gentlemen before the chairs activate. If anyone besides the Armed Detective Agency interferes, the machines activate immediately. Police? Dead. Military? Dead. Helpful old ladies? Also dead! Tragic, but them’s the rules!”

“That’s not how rules work,” Atsushi whispered.

Gogol leaned toward the camera as if he had heard him.

“Now then, dear Agency! Come alone. Come quickly. Come beautifully!”

The screen cut to black.

For one second, no one moved.

The silence after the broadcast was worse than the music.

Kunikida’s eyes moved first—to the clock. Thirty minutes. Then to the map. Then to the emergency route diagrams already half-buried under murder reports.

Yosano opened her case and closed it again. Once. A sharp little click. Like she needed her hands to remember they could still do something.

Kenji swallowed the bite of food in his mouth and set the rest of the bun down very carefully.

Atsushi looked at all of them and felt the terrible, familiar thing rise in his chest.

The room had become a machine.

Everyone had a place in it.

He was already afraid of where his would be.

Then his phone buzzed.

Ranpo.

Atsushi answered before the first ring finished.

“Don’t panic,” Ranpo said.

“I wasn’t panicking,” Atsushi said automatically.

“You were about to.”

Atsushi closed his mouth.

Ranpo’s voice was sharp, thinner than usual, but still him. “Listen carefully. Don’t trust the obvious route unless it’s the only route. Be careful of the clown. He’s not just flashy. He’s misdirection wearing gaudy clothing.”

“Where are you?”

“Following a lead.”

A door creaked on his end. Footsteps. Then Ranpo went quiet.

“Ranpo?”

Atsushi heard a soft, wet sound.

Then Ranpo inhaled sharply.

“What happened?” Atsushi asked. “Ranpo?”

A pause.

Then Ranpo, very quietly: “Taneda.”

The call ended. Atsushi stared down at his phone. No.

No, no, no. Absolutely not. They were not doing this. They were not splitting up, getting injured, vanishing into suspicious buildings, and leaving him to run toward chainsaw chairs and clowns. That was not a sustainable workplace culture.

“Atsushi!” Kunikida snapped.

He looked up.

“We need someone fast enough to reach the timing device through the underground evacuation route,” Kunikida said. His face was tight. “You’re the only one who can make it in time.”

Of course. Of course he was.

Atsushi nodded anyway.

Because what else was there to do?


Hu Tao was at Café Uzumaki when Atsushi called.

She had been arguing with Lucy about whether the café should introduce a “mourning latte,” which Lucy insisted was insensitive and Hu Tao insisted was “seasonal branding.” Mr. Uzumaki had wisely pretended to be deaf.

Then Atsushi’s name flashed on her screen.

Hu Tao answered with a grin already forming. “Little Sushi! If you’re calling to ask whether chainsaw-themed décor is appropriate for a café, the answer is—”

“Hu Tao,” Atsushi said.

Her smile vanished.

She knew that voice.

Not the scared one. Not the embarrassed one. The one that had already decided to walk into something terrible and was calling from the threshold.

“I have to go somewhere,” he said. “It’s Agency work.”

Lucy looked up sharply from behind the counter.

Hu Tao turned away from her. “Dangerous?”

A brief silence.

Then Atsushi said, “Very.”

Ah.

There it was.

Hu Tao leaned her hip against the counter, fingers tightening around the phone. “You calling to say goodbye or to ask for help?”

“I—” He stopped.

Good. At least he had stopped.

That was growth.

“I don’t know,” he admitted.

Hu Tao’s chest softened painfully.

There were many things she could say. She could tell him to wait. To come home. To let the professionals handle it.

But the problem with Atsushi was that he had learned kindness from hunger. He had learned it badly, crookedly, with teeth. And now that he had somewhere to return to, he treated every crisis like proof he had to earn the right to come back.

Hu Tao hated that.

She also knew she couldn’t simply command it out of him.

So she said, “Where?”

He told her.

Lucy went pale.

Hu Tao hummed once. “Okay. Don’t get stabbed by anything weird.”

“Not helpful.”

“Don’t get chainsawed?”

“Worse.”

“Don’t get clowned?”

“Hu Tao.”

“There he is,” she said softly. “You still sound annoyed. Good. Stay annoyed. Annoyed people survive out of spite.”

There was the faintest exhale on the other end. Almost a laugh. Not quite.

“I’ll try.”

“No,” she said. “You’ll come back. Trying is for discount rituals and first drafts.”

Another pause.

Then: “Okay.”

The call ended.

For a moment, Hu Tao did not move.

No one was looking at her. Lucy had turned toward the window, watching the police cars gathering three streets away. Mr. Uzumaki had gone still behind the counter. The café owner’s wife was lowering the volume on the television.

So no one saw Hu Tao’s face fall.

Just for a second.

No grin. No spark. Only a young woman staring at the phone in her palm like it had become a funeral notice.

She breathed in. Then out. Then the smile came back. Not the bright one. The useful one.

Lucy grabbed her sleeve. “You can’t interfere if the rules say only the Agency can.”

Hu Tao looked back, smile thin. “Good thing I’m not Agency.”

“That’s not—”

“Don’t worry,” Hu Tao said. “I’m not going in.”

Lucy’s eyes narrowed. “That sounded like a technicality.”

Hu Tao patted her hand. “You’re learning.”


Zhongli heard about the hostages from the television in a tea shop.

It was an unfortunate place to receive such news.

Not because of the danger. Danger was rarely considerate enough to choose proper timing.

No, it was unfortunate because he had just found a passable oolong.

Not excellent. Not memorable. But passable. A rare accomplishment in this realm, where many establishments treated tea leaves as if they were small, bitter suggestions.

He set the cup down.

On-screen, the newscaster spoke rapidly. Behind her, footage of government buildings, police barricades, emergency vehicles, and the word Agency repeated often enough to sour the air.

Zhongli listened.

Five hostages.

Thirty minutes.

No outside interference.

A clown.

He closed his eyes.

Of all the forms malice could take, humanity repeatedly insisted on choosing the most theatrical.

His phone buzzed.

Hu Tao.

He answered.

“Did you see?”

“Yes.”

“Little Sushi is going.”

“Yes.”

“I told him not to get clowned.”

A pause.

“That was your counsel?”

“He laughed a little.”

“Then it served its purpose.”

The line was quiet for a moment.

Then Hu Tao said, much softer, “We can’t go in.”

“No.”

“Because the machines activate.”

“Yes.”

“I hate rules made by murderers.”

“As do I.”

“Can we break them?”

Zhongli looked at the television again. The hostage room flashed briefly on screen—grainy, unstable. A location unknown. A game designed around desperation.

He stood.

“We cannot interfere with the mission,” he said.

Hu Tao’s breath shifted. She recognized tone the way sailors recognized storm wind.

“But?”

“But rules are often written around what the writer can imagine,” Zhongli said. “And men like this imagine much of themselves, but very little of the world.”

Hu Tao was silent for half a heartbeat.

Then she laughed, soft and sharp. “Oh. You’re mad.”

Zhongli adjusted his cuffs.

“I am concerned.”

“Liar.”

“Do not enter the building.”

“Aye aye, old man.”

“And Hu Tao.”

“Mm?”

“Prepare the apartment.”

Another silence.

When she spoke again, all humor had gone out of her voice. “How bad?”

Zhongli’s gaze remained on the screen.

“Grave enough that he may require a place to collapse.”


The underground evacuation route smelled like wet concrete and rust.

Because of course it did.

Atsushi ran through the tunnel, one hand brushing the wall for balance, breath steady only because Zhongli and Kunikida had drilled breathing patterns into his skull so thoroughly he might start doing them in his sleep.

Four counts in.

Hold.

Six counts out.

Do not panic.

Do not think about the chainsaws.

Do not think about the hostages.

Do not think about Ranpo finding Taneda bleeding out in some unknown building.

Do not think about Dazai, arrested and unreachable.

Do not think about the fact that he had told Hu Tao he would come back like that was something he could promise.

The tiger pushed beneath his skin, eager and anxious.

Atsushi rounded a corner.

A gunshot cracked behind him.

He moved before thinking, body dropping low as the bullet tore through the space where his head had been. Concrete burst near his shoulder. Dust sprayed into his eyes.

He hit the ground, rolled, and came up with claws half-formed.

Behind him, the tunnel was empty. No. Not empty.

A white-gloved hand emerged from a black circle in the air. Then a face. Gogol leaned out of nothing like he was peeking through a curtain.

“Surprise!”

Atsushi stared. Nope. Absolutely not.

He had dealt with many things. Too many things. Dolls. Mafia. Flying whales. Dazai’s personality. But a clown emerging from spatial fabric in an underground tunnel was a new category of nonsense and he resented it.

“You,” Atsushi said.

“Me!” Gogol beamed. “And you must be the tiger boy. The one with the soft eyes and tragic posture.”

Atsushi’s eye twitched.

Tragic posture? He was going to start charging people for saying things like that.

“I don’t have time for this,” Atsushi said.

Gogol gasped. “No time for theater? But this is exactly the moment for theater.”

Atsushi lunged.

The tiger took over his legs. The tunnel blurred. He closed the distance in less than a breath, claws sweeping for Gogol’s cloak—

And hit nothing.

Gogol folded backward into his own mantle.

Atsushi twisted midair.

Too late.

Something slammed into his side.

A telephone pole.

An entire telephone pole.

In an underground tunnel.

For one stunned second, Atsushi’s brain refused to process it. It simply presented the image to him like a clerk handing over an impossible document.

Telephone pole.

Here.

Why.

Then the pole pinned him to the floor hard enough to knock the air from his lungs.

Atsushi wheezed.

Gogol stepped out of his cloak, boots clicking lightly against concrete. “My ability permits transfer of anything within thirty meters into my cloak. Objects. Weapons. Very dramatic inconveniences.”

Atsushi shoved against the pole. It didn’t move.

His ribs screamed.

The thought came slowly, stupidly, through the pain.

Wonderful. Great. Perfect. Killed by urban infrastructure. Put that on my grave.

Gogol crouched beside him, chin in hand. “Now then. Pop quiz.”

“No,” Atsushi gasped.

“Yes!”

“No.”

“Question one: why do people kill?”

Atsushi bared his teeth. “Because they’re cruel.”

Gogol’s smile widened.

“Half credit.”

The pole vanished.

Atsushi shot to his feet, but Gogol’s cloak snapped open beneath him.

His left leg disappeared into black.

Atsushi hit the floor hard, claws scraping uselessly against concrete. His leg was trapped up to the thigh inside the cloak’s impossible space. He yanked.

Pain shot through his hip.

Gogol hummed. “Careful! Pull too hard and perhaps you leave something behind.”

Atsushi froze.

Gogol leaned over him, suddenly close, eyes bright and terrible.

“Why are we cruelly killing people?” Gogol asked. “Answer one: because killing is fun. Because I am a monster. Because blood is exciting and screams are applause. That’s what the victims receive. Easy answer. Clean answer. People love monsters. They make morality so simple.”

He drew a blade.

Atsushi’s breath caught.

The knife sank into his trapped leg.

Pain went white.

Atsushi shouted before he could stop himself—a raw, animal sound that echoed off the concrete and came back to him uglier. His vision blurred. His claws struck sparks from the floor. For one second, there was nothing in the world but the knife, the trapped leg, and his own body trying to crawl out of itself.

Gogol watched him with fascination.

Atsushi’s next thought arrived from nowhere, absurd and shaking. This guy needs therapy.

He almost laughed. That was probably the blood loss getting to him.

Gogol tilted his head. “Answer two. The real answer.”

Atsushi sucked in air through his teeth.

Gogol’s voice gentled.

That was worse.

“I know murder is evil,” he said. “I understand sin. I understand guilt. I understand the cage of conscience. That is why I seek freedom. Perfect freedom. A bird flying without law. Without instinct. Without God’s hand pressing it downward.”

Atsushi panted, vision swimming.

“You think killing people makes you free?” he forced out.

Gogol smiled, and the smile seemed almost sad.

“Doesn’t it make you angry?” he asked. “Being bound to good because someone told you good matters? Being kind because pain taught you to fear becoming the hand that hurt you?”

Atsushi went still.

Gogol leaned closer.

“You run toward suffering. Again and again. How noble. How trained. How very chained.”

There it was. The knife beneath the ribs. Not the one in his leg. The other one. For one second, the tunnel was gone.

He was small again. Cold floor. Closed door. A voice telling him suffering made people strong. A hand forcing the hammer into his grip.

Endure.

No.

Atsushi sucked in a breath.

Four counts.

Hold.

Out for six.

The amber memory of Zhongli’s hand on his shoulder. Hu Tao’s voice in his ear: Stay annoyed.

He looked up at Gogol.

“I choose it,” Atsushi said.

Gogol blinked.

Atsushi’s voice shook, but he kept going. “That’s the part you don’t understand. Maybe I was trained. Maybe I was hurt. Maybe I’m still—” He swallowed. “Maybe I’m still figuring out which parts of me are mine. But helping people is mine.”

The tiger stirred.

Not frantic.

Steady.

Atsushi’s eyes sharpened. “You’re not free. You’re just making sure no one can hold you long enough to prove you’re still human.”

For the first time, Gogol’s smile faltered.

Only a fraction.

Then it came back, brighter.

“Excellent!” he cried. “Excellent answer! Wrong, perhaps, but excellent!”

He snapped his cloak.

Atsushi’s leg ripped free, only for the floor itself to swallow it.

No—not swallow.

The cloak had pinned his leg into the concrete, fused through space, locking him in place.

Atsushi snarled and clawed at the ground.

Gogol stood, sweeping into another bow. “Final question! Where was the lie in what I said?”

Atsushi glared at him.

Gogol tapped his own lips. “Advice: never listen to the words of a clown.”

Then he vanished.

Just like that.

The tunnel went silent.

Atsushi remained on the ground, leg bleeding, trapped, thirty minutes collapsing somewhere above him into less than whatever number came next.

He pressed his forehead against the concrete.

For one terrible, humiliating second, he wanted to cry.

Not from pain. From frustration. From fear.

From the horrible thought that maybe Gogol had been right about one thing: Atsushi was always running toward suffering because he didn’t know who he was without it.

Then his phone buzzed.

He dragged it out with shaking fingers.

A message from Hu Tao.

if you are currently being dramatic in a tunnel, stop it. bite something. come home.

Atsushi stared.

Then laughed. It came out cracked. Wet. Almost a sob.

But it was a laugh. “Okay,” he whispered.

He dug his claws into the concrete around his trapped leg.

The tiger growled.

This time, Atsushi growled with it.


Ranpo found Taneda bleeding on polished floorboards.

There was too much red.

Ranpo hated too much red. It made details slippery. It made everyone else stupid.

Taneda’s glasses were cracked. His breathing came shallow and wet. One hand clutched his side, the other reaching blindly for something he had dropped.

“Ranpo,” he rasped.

Ranpo knelt beside him. “Don’t talk unless it’s useful.”

Taneda gave a broken laugh. “Still charming.”

“Information.”

“The Decay…” Taneda coughed. Blood flecked his lips. “Five members. Dostoevsky. Gogol. Three others.”

Ranpo went very still.

Taneda’s fingers tightened weakly against his sleeve. “One of them has an ability. Information exchange. What you most wish to know… for what they most wish to know from you.”

Ranpo’s glasses slipped slightly down his nose.

He did not fix them. “You met them,” he said.

Taneda closed his eyes. “Yes.”

“And paid.”

“Yes.”

The room seemed to become smaller.

Taneda’s voice sank. “I learned their goal.”

Ranpo’s mouth went dry.

“The Book,” Taneda whispered. “They stole a page of it.”

Ranpo said nothing. Impossible things were not supposed to exist.

This was not because they made the world harder to understand. Ranpo could understand almost anything. That was the problem. Impossible things made everyone else stupid. They made adults panic, governments lie, detectives pray, and criminals call themselves angels.

“A page,” Ranpo repeated.

Taneda nodded, barely. “Anything written on it becomes reality.”

Ranpo’s fingers curled.

“But,” Taneda said, breath catching, “there is a restriction. Karma. Cause and effect. The writing must conform to the logic of the world. You cannot simply write, ‘humanity is destroyed.’ The world rejects an outcome without a path.”

Ranpo’s eyes sharpened.

“A story,” he said.

Taneda’s lips twitched faintly. “Yes. A story the world can accept.”

The murders.

The government request.

The hostages.

The Agency.

Ranpo felt the floor drop out from under the case.

Not an attack.

A narrative.

Taneda grabbed his sleeve with surprising strength. “Throw out your plans. All of them. The Decay will involve the Agency in something destructive. They’re not trying to kill you.”

Ranpo’s voice came out flat. “They’re making the world believe we should be destroyed.”

Taneda’s hand went slack.

His eyes closed.

For a heartbeat, Ranpo was still.

Then he reached for his phone with hands that did not shake because he would not allow them to.


Above ground, the street thundered.

The rest of the Agency arrived at the location with only five minutes left.

Military vehicles flooded the road from the east. Police barricades buckled under the pressure of shouting commanders and armed units. Civilians were pushed back. Cameras flashed from behind the barricades. Someone was already broadcasting live.

Kunikida saw the armored trucks first.

His blood went cold.

“If they interfere, the machines activate,” he snapped. “Kenji!”

Kenji turned, still smiling, but the smile had thinned.

“Stop them.”

“Okay!”

And then Kenji stopped a tank with both hands.

That was not a sentence Atsushi had expected to become relevant to his life, but then again, neither was I am trapped in concrete because a clown with a teleporting cloak stabbed my leg, and yet here they were.

Kenji planted his feet in the middle of the road.

“Sorry!” he called brightly. “Agency business! Please wait your turn!”

The tank did not wait.

The tank advanced.

Kenji put both hands against its front plating.

For half a second, nothing happened.

Then the tank lifted.

Metal screamed. Treads spun uselessly in the air. Soldiers shouted. Someone dropped a megaphone.

Kenji turned the tank over like it was an inconvenient table.

It landed with a sound that made every window on the block shiver.

“Please stay back!” Kenji called.

The military police took this poorly.

Kunikida did not have time to explain that Kenji taking something poorly usually involved less collateral damage than anyone else taking something poorly.

At the entrance, Tanizaki checked the door’s electronic lock. Kyōka stood behind him, Demon Snow hovering in a blur of pale steel. Yosano watched the hallway, jaw tight, medical case in one hand.

“Three minutes,” Kunikida said.

Tanizaki’s fingers moved over the panel. “I can’t break it cleanly in time.”

“Then we use force.”

Kyōka’s blade lifted.

Kunikida’s phone buzzed.

Ranpo.

He answered.

“Don’t trust the cameras,” Ranpo said immediately. “Don’t enter the room. Don’t break the door. It’s already—”

The line crackled.

Kunikida’s eyes widened. “Ranpo?”

Static.

Then, faintly:

“Get out.”

The door opened from the inside.

No one touched it.


Inside the hostage room, the lights were too bright.

That was the first thing Kunikida noticed.

Not the hostages. Not the chairs. The lights. Harsh, surgical, merciless. Built for recording. Cameras sat in the upper corners of the room. Red dots blinking. Watching.

There had been no time to think. No time to retreat. No time to decide whether the room opening meant invitation, threat, or inevitability.

One moment Kunikida stood outside the door with Tanizaki, Yosano, and Kyōka.

The next—

They were inside.

Hoods lay at their feet.

Their own hands were visible. Their own faces uncovered.

The hostages screamed.

Kunikida looked down. Blood on his sleeve. Not his.

“What—” Tanizaki whispered.

Yosano went very still.

Kyōka’s face drained of color.

Across from them, Gogol sat strapped into one of the chainsaw chairs. Bound. Helpless. Grinning through terror.

Or something wearing terror very well.

“Free me!” he cried, eyes wide. “Oh, please, noble detectives, save your poor clown!”

Kunikida moved.

Too late.

The machines activated.

Chainsaws dropped.

The sound swallowed the room.

For two full seconds, there was nothing else.

No jokes. No thoughts. No breath.

Only metal and meat and the impossible fact of it happening.

Bodies split beneath the blades.

Blood struck the floor, the walls, the cameras.

The hostage screams ended one by one.

Gogol screamed too.

Loudest of all.

Then his body was halved.

Silence followed.

It was not peaceful.

It was the kind of silence that came after something sacred had been broken and everyone left alive was waiting for the world to notice.

Kunikida stood frozen.

Yosano’s fingers trembled once before she forced them still.

Tanizaki took one step back and nearly slipped.

Kyōka stared at the blood on the floor, her face white as paper.

Outside, loudspeakers roared.

Tonan, freed and alive, spoke into the phone Gogol had given him. His voice shook with terror, but his words were clear enough to cut the city open.

“I know the criminals’ identities.”

Kunikida’s head turned slowly toward the cameras.

Ranpo’s voice crackled in his earpiece, raw and furious.

“Too late.”

Tonan’s voice came through every speaker, every radio, every camera feed.

“The Decay of the Angel…”

A pause.

Kunikida closed his eyes.

“…is the Armed Detective Agency.”

The city took one sharp inhale, and believed him.


Atsushi heard the chainsaws start while he was still two floors down.

He stopped so abruptly his shoulder slammed into the stairwell wall.

No.

The sound tore through the building, metal screaming through the floors, through the railing under his hand, through the bones of the place.

No.

He ran.

Or tried to.

His injured leg buckled on the next landing. He hit the steps hard, teeth snapping together. Pain shot white-hot from thigh to hip.

He clawed upright.

The next door was locked.

Of course it was locked. Of course.

Atsushi slammed his shoulder into it.

Nothing.

He tried the handle again, uselessly, as if maybe the door would take pity on him.

It did not.

Above him, the machines screamed.

“Open,” he snarled.

The door remained closed.

He struck it with his claws. Metal peeled back, but not enough. He hit it again. Again. Sparks flashed. His injured leg shook violently beneath him. Blood ran warm into his sock.

His earpiece crackled.

Kunikida’s voice, broken by static: “Do not—room—cameras—”

Then Ranpo, distant, furious, too late: “Atsushi, don’t look.”

Atsushi tore the door from its hinges.

He burst into the corridor just as the world ended.

The door to the hostage room stood open.

Kunikida, Tanizaki, Kyōka, and Yosano stood inside.

That was the first wrong thing.

They had not entered.

Atsushi knew they had not entered because the outer doorframe was still intact from the outside, the lock untouched until he destroyed the stairwell door. But there they were.

Inside.

Hooded figures no longer.

Their faces were visible beneath the cameras.

For a moment, Atsushi’s mind simply refused.

It looked at the scene and closed every door.

No.

No, because that was Kunikida with blood on his sleeve.

No, because that was Yosano staring at her own hands like they belonged to someone else.

No, because Kyōka’s face had gone white, Demon Snow hovering behind her like a blade unsure whom to protect.

No, because Tanizaki looked like he was about to be sick.

And on one of the chairs—

Gogol.

Or what remained of Gogol.

Atsushi’s stomach twisted.

The room’s cameras blinked red.

Every angle.

Every face.

Every impossible second recorded.

Outside, the military began shouting.

“Hands where we can see them!”

“Ability users, down!”

“Do not move!”

The corridor filled with red dots.

Snipers. Rifles. Laser sights crawling over Kunikida’s chest, Yosano’s shoulder, Kyōka’s forehead.

Atsushi’s body moved on instinct.

He stepped between the room and the nearest line of fire.

His injured leg nearly gave out.

Kunikida snapped, “Atsushi, stand down!”

“Can’t,” Atsushi said. It came out small. Then louder: “I can’t.”

Because Kyōka was behind him. Because Yosano’s hands were shaking. Because Tanizaki was breathing too fast. Because Kunikida looked like someone had taken his ideals and crushed them into glass.

Because the world had just pointed a gun at the people who had shown him how to keep moving.

And Atsushi was very tired of guns.

A soldier shouted again.

Atsushi raised his hands slowly.

“I know what this looks like,” he said, which was stupid, because it looked exactly like a murder room and there was no sentence in the world that fixed that.

A rifle clicked.

His ears rang.

Then the floor trembled.

Not violently.

Not enough to knock anyone down.

Just enough for every person in the corridor to remember there was earth beneath the building.

Amber light spread under Atsushi’s feet.

A shield rose around him.

No—around all of them.

Thin at first, like glass catching sunrise. Then solid. Golden. Layered with angular sigils that Atsushi did not understand but recognized in the same way he recognized home by scent.

Zhongli stepped into the corridor from the stairwell.

His coat was perfectly arranged. His gloves immaculate. His expression calm.

Too calm.

The corridor arranged itself around him without permission.

At the far end, soldiers filled the hall in a tight formation, rifles raised.

At the open doorway, Kunikida stood rigid, half inside the hostage room, one hand still lifted as though he had tried to stop time by force of will.

Behind him, Yosano stood near the nearest chair, pale and silent. Tanizaki had one hand pressed over his mouth. Kyōka stood closest to the wall, Demon Snow curved protectively behind her.

Atsushi was on the floor just beyond the doorway, one leg bleeding badly beneath Hu Tao’s hastily tied talisman.

And Zhongli stood between all of them and the guns.

Every rifle swung toward him.

Zhongli did not look at them.

He looked at Atsushi.

At the blood on his leg. The dust in his hair. The way he was standing between bullets and the Agency like pain was a door he could hold shut with his body.

Something ancient passed over Zhongli’s face.

Not anger. Worse. Recognition.

“Atsushi,” he said, voice quiet. “Sit down.”

“I’m fine.”

“You are bleeding into your shoe.”

Atsushi looked down.

Oh.

So he was.

“I can still—”

“Atsushi.”

One word.

Not loud. Not sharp.

Just absolute.

Atsushi sat.

Mostly because his leg chose that moment to stop pretending.

The shield brightened as soldiers shouted over each other.

“Identify yourself!”

“Drop the ability!”

“Hands up!”

Zhongli finally turned his gaze toward them.

“I am not a member of the Armed Detective Agency,” he said evenly. “Nor have I interfered with your hostage operation.”

The commander at the front snarled, “You are obstructing military police!”

“I am preventing you from firing upon injured suspects before inquiry, trial, or judgment.”

“That shield is an ability!”

Zhongli’s eyes narrowed by the smallest degree.

“It is not.”

The commander hesitated.

Atsushi, sitting on the floor and trying not to pass out, had the deeply inappropriate thought that this was the first time he had ever seen someone argue legal procedure while glowing like a divine lawsuit.

Hu Tao arrived half a minute later, skidding into the corridor breathless.

She took in the blood. The cameras. The soldiers. The halved bodies. The Agency members frozen in horror.

Then she looked at Atsushi.

Her face went blank.

“Oh,” she said softly. “Absolutely not.”

Atsushi had never heard those words sound so dangerous.

She crossed the shield without resistance—because of course Zhongli let her through—and dropped to her knees beside him.

“Hi,” Atsushi said weakly.

Hu Tao smiled with too many teeth. “Hi, Little Sushi. You look terrible.”

“I got hit with a telephone pole.”

“A what?”

“Underground.”

She stared.

Then slowly turned toward Zhongli. “We are killing the clown.”

“No,” Zhongli said.

“We are maiming the clown.”

“No.”

“We are spiritually inconveniencing the clown.”

A pause.

Zhongli said, “Later.”

Good enough.

Hu Tao pressed a talisman to Atsushi’s bleeding leg. He hissed as warmth sparked through the wound.

“This will not heal it,” Zhongli said, crouching beside him. “But it will slow the bleeding.”

“I need to help them,” Atsushi said.

Zhongli’s hand settled on his shoulder.

It was warm.

Heavy.

Grounding.

“You already have.”

Atsushi looked past him.

Kunikida stood rigid in the room, fists clenched, eyes fixed on the blood and cameras. Yosano’s face was carved stone. Tanizaki looked haunted. Kyōka had not moved.

The Agency had been named terrorists.

The city outside was roaring.

No. Atsushi had not helped enough. He had not stopped Gogol. He had not saved the hostages. He had not protected anyone from the story being written around them.

His chest tightened.

Zhongli noticed.

Of course he noticed.

“A lie told loudly is still a lie,” he said.

Atsushi swallowed. “But everyone heard it.”

“Then we shall endure the noise until truth grows teeth.”

Hu Tao tied the talisman around his leg with more force than necessary. “And then truth bites them.”

Atsushi let out a faint, broken laugh.

The commander outside the shield shouted again. “Stand down! Release the barrier immediately!”

Zhongli rose.

The amber shield hummed.

“No,” he said.

One syllable.

The corridor went silent.

Zhongli’s voice remained calm, formal, and devastatingly clear.

“These individuals are injured, disoriented, and have been placed inside a staged scene by means currently unknown. You may arrest them if you must. You may investigate. You may accuse. But if you fire upon them without trial, without inquiry, and without honor—”

The floor beneath him glowed brighter.

“—you will have broken a contract more ancient than your office.”

No one moved.

Atsushi stared up at him, dizzy and aching and suddenly very aware that the man who made him tea every morning had once ruled a nation.

Hu Tao leaned closer and whispered, “Rock dad speech. Very serious.”

Atsushi whispered back, “Please don’t call him that right now.”

“I heard that,” Zhongli said.

“Sorry,” Atsushi muttered.

Outside the building, sirens multiplied.

Inside, the cameras kept blinking red.

And somewhere far away, Gogol was probably laughing.

But in that corridor, for one stolen moment, the Agency stood behind stone.

Not absolved. Not safe. Not free. But alive. And for Zhongli, whose hand remained clenched at his side, that was the first and only acceptable condition.

 

Notes:

why did it take me 9 months to update? honestly BSD lore stressed me out too much that i had to take a break from it. also wanted to let BSD marinate for a while so i could work with the finished part 1 story.

also, the ending on part 1??? i am so perplexed by it like asagiri what tf are you
plotting????

 

thank you to the wonderful, sexy people who manage the BSD wiki. mwah

Notes:

is it. is it obvious that i've never watched titanic before?

thanks for reading!:D

i hope that my characterizations were accurate :<

also, im def talking out of my ass with the leyline stuff. i am NAWT an expert

also also, i welcome construstive criticism. but dont be too mean. i am fragile.