Chapter Text
She’d been awake for a few weeks now, and only just now did Stratt feel like she was running on all cylinders again.
Although she didn’t have any of the amnestic effects that she knew Grace experienced, waking up on the other side of the universe had been enough of a disorienting experience that she was glad she would never have to do it again.
That first day awake, she’d washed herself, cutting her own hair and lotioning her skin before she slipped into the comfortable clothes that she’d packed for her time in zero gravity. Looking in the mirror, she noticed that the wrinkles in her face were deeper and her hair grayer than when she’d been placed in the coma a few years before hand. She drank a coffee, the liquid hot and uncomfortable as it slid down her throat, and she booted up the computer program that would help her brush up on her Eridian.
The second day awake, the real work began.
She checked all the ship’s systems and was pleased to learn that nothing had gone wrong. The fuel was stable, more than enough to get her to Erid. The food in storage and the water in the tanks were preserved nicely. The navigational tools functioned perfectly.
In just a few weeks, she’d be at Erid.
When she was a little more than a week away, she began broadcasting the message that she’d crafted to let the Eridians know of her arrival. She wanted them to know she was friendly far before any planetary defense systems could kick into gear.
Though if the Eridians took her out, she wouldn’t blame them. If an alien spaceship would’ve arrived when she was in charge of the Petrova Task Force, she would’ve done the same thing.
Finally, when she was just about a day away from reaching the edge of Erid’s atmosphere, the radio receiver lit up and began broadcasting a response from Erid.
Immediately, she realized that the response was created via some sort of computer program, similar to the one that she was running to mimic the Eridian tones. But alarmingly, the voice that came through her ship’s speakers was not a string of Eridian notes.
It was Grace’s voice.
She knew that the Eridians could not mimic human speech, and so they must have done something much similar to what she and the team on Earth had done: dissect the snippets of the other world’s language, feed those clips into a computer and use it to speak back in a familiar tone.
Even on this mission to honor his memory, Stratt was haunted by the ghost of Ryland Grace.
She let the words of the radio broadcast wash over her.
Welcome, travelers, to Erid.
Our planets both share our great debt to engineer Rocky and scientist Grace for their contribution to the end of the astrophage scourge. We welcome your peaceful entry into the Eridian world.
Join to the Space Elevator. A delegation of Eridian astroworkers will meet and escort your crew to the surface of Erid.
We welcome the Earth delegation and look forward to continued collaboration between our worlds.
If nothing else, them using Grace’s voice and the content of the message told her three things.
- Grace and Rocky made it back to Erid and were able to impart some knowledge and technological advancement from Earth before Grace ran out of his food supply.
- By choosing to respond in an Earthen language, they were indicating to her that they knew that she, too, was an envoy of Earth.
- They were open to receiving her and likely would be peaceful in their acceptance of an Earthen ambassador.
She set the navigation equipment to head towards the coordinates of the “space elevator” that lead to the surface of Erid. The countdown on the control panel indicated that she would arrive at the elevator in 27 hours.
She let her hand brush gently against the picture of Grace that she’d taped to the control room wall. “I just wish that traveling all this way could bring me back to you, but honoring what you did for us will have to be close enough.”
Entering into Erid’s upper atmosphere was easier than Stratt had expected. The ship was outfitted with the latest and the greatest in automatic piloting technology, and when she entered in the informational coordinates provided for the space elevator, the ship was able to get there 99% of the way on its own.
The last 1% was completed by the Eridians.
As the ship approached, she understood almost immediately how the Eridians would manage to connect her to the space elevator. She could see the Hail Mary, perfectly maintained and attached to the top of the elevator with a number of long xenonite threads to ensure that the spaceship orbited in place along with the elevator.
Once close enough, Stratt watched from the porthole window Eridian astroworkers lasso her spacecraft with xenonite ropes thrown from the elevator. Then, slowly over the course of several hours, the Eridian workers were able to reel in her ship.
She gathered the few things she’d need right away and prepared to enter into Erid’s hostile atmosphere. Earth scientists had made her a small bag that would be strong enough to withstand the crushing pressure of Erid, where she placed a number of medicines—ibuprofen and anti-nausea pills mostly, but one cyanide capsule in case the Eridians turned out to be hostile—a few days worth of food and water and some small trinkets—a smartphone, batteries, a crank radio—which she anticipated would be welcome gifts among the local leaders. The case also held a bottle of vodka and a bag of skittles, for when she finally was able to pay her respects at Grace’s gravesite.
They’d need to find a way for the Eridians to collect the other, larger peace offerings that her spacecraft held, but that could wait until this first contact was established.
The spacesuit that ESA had created for Eva was reinforced with xenonite, making it harder to walk but less likely to crush under the pressure of the atmosphere. Eva slipped in, checking and double checking that everything (respiratory, seals, oxygen and more) were connected properly.
Finally, Stratt heard knocking on the vacuum door.
The Eridians were here.
The descent to Erid’s surface was slow and required a combination of walking down makeshift stairs and descending quickly down mechanized “elevators” that brought them closer and closer to the surface.
At the upper levels of the atmosphere, the air was too thin to try and communicate with her escort, but she was pretty sure so far that they were not a violent bunch. The Eridian astroworkers who met her at the ship had been polite, reverent even. She was curious to learn more once they got deeper into the atmosphere.
The journey down was harder than she anticipated, though.
In zero gravity, Stratt hadn’t noticed the way age had ravaged her body. She’d felt light, the pressure in her joints relieved momentarily. But as Erid’s gravity pressed down on her, she suddenly felt older and wearier than ever before.
The years had been long.
And unkind.
Her knees creaked and her muscles ached as she maneuvered in the heavy suit.
But once in the elevator sections, the Eridians always motioned for her to take a seat and rest. In the elevator rooms, she could use the modified accordion that the team on Earth had made for her to “speak” Eridian.
The little creatures were delighted by her accordion machine and began chattering with her quite quickly.
“I’m sorry, I don’t understand. Slower and simpler please.” She played back as she caught her breath on the seat.
Her three Eridian escort spoke very rapidly amongst themselves before the largest one—about the size of a deer—spoke slowly. “Where is rest of crew, question?”
She played back, “Earth sent me alone to Erid. There is no crew.”
This seemed to upset the Eridians as a burst of song erupted from the workers before the same one turned back to her. “Earth is irresponsible. Earth should be more careful with its people. Life is more precious than Earth understands.”
It was a jab at Project Hail Mary—at Eva Stratt—for sending Grace alone into space to save them all. For sending him without a return ticket.
But that wasn’t the only thing Eva took away from the jab.
The Eridians knew about Grace. They knew his story and what happened to him.
Which meant that at the very least, Grace’s memory lived on in these people.
A secret hope began to blossom in her chest, that before she would run out of sustenance, that she and Rocky would have a chance to share some stories of Grace together. She yearned to learn who he was at the end. To learn how his hero’s journey had changed him.
“Need to switch to next elevator,” the Eridian said, breaking Stratt out of her thoughts.
She sighed and pulled herself up from the seat, her body screaming in protest as she did. She hated that age was catching up with her. She hated that so many years of her life had been spent waiting and watching the world pass by without her.
Looking down at her monitor, she could tell they were more than halfway to the surface of Erid.
She could make it that far. She would need to.
She began the descent to the next elevator a couple dozen meters below.
The space elevator dead ended quite suddenly on the rocky bottom of Erid. For most of the second half of the journey, no light at all got through the atmosphere, and she’d been thankful for the flashlights attached to her spacesuit.
On the ground, they were met by a few Eridians—brown, green and gray in color—who quickly spoke with the three astroworkers who’d escorted her down the space elevator. She caught only snippets of the conversation as they hummed quickly to one another.
“Only one—”
“Slow—”
“Sick, question?”
“Like Grace—”
Her ears picked up as she caught Grace’s name. She’d heard Rocky’s trill of her friend’s name hundreds of times on the tapes. It was the word that stuck most in her mind.
Her heart ached for Grace. For the man she’d sent here to die. For the man that she hoped to honor by traveling half the universe away.
Before she could pull herself together to figure out what to ask, a small, brown Eridian scuttled into her light source.
She recognized him immediately from the videos.
“Rocky,” she pressed the keys of her accordion.
All of the Eridians on the ground stopped and turned their attention to her.
Rocky scuttled over and walked around her twice. “From Earth, question?”
She nodded, while keying in, “Yes, from Earth.”
“Where is crew, question? Rest of crew in ship, question?”
She shook her head. “They sent me alone.”
He chirped angrily. “Earth is ridiculous. Earth irresponsible with its astronauts. Safer with crew. Dangerous alone.”
There was a bitterness there, which Stratt knew she had earned. The small rocklike creature was right to be angry on behalf of his friend. From what they’d learned about Eridian society from Grace’s tapes, they were incredibly group-oriented. Pack animals. Much like humans ought to be.
Before she could respond, Rocky added to both her and the group, “Earth astronaut come with Rocky.”
The other Eridians began to chime rapidly, tones overlapping as they seemingly pushed back on this assertion.
But being the hero of Erid had its perks, and Rocky won in the end.
She followed him for a few brief minutes until they came to a small car. It looked almost Earthen in its design, and Stratt wondered if they had used the technology and schematics included in the computer programs they’d sent on the Hail Mary to build this vehicle or if Eridians had car-like vehicles before contact with Earth.
Regardless, she was glad to rest for a bit during the ride. She crawled into the vehicle and sat beside Grace’s alien friend as he begin to punch in a series of codes into the vehicle.
It sprang to life, and Stratt was pleased to find it included headlights and thus likely had been adapted from Earth’s schematics.
They drove through the countryside, which was made up of mostly rocks and large moss-like plants, which seemingly blanketed the planet’s surface. She could see a distant glow in the far distance, which in this dark atmosphere was like a beacon to her.
“How long is the journey, question?” she asked.
“Approximately one Earth hour.” Rocky didn’t look at her when he spoke, but with the lack of eyes, she realized he had no reason to.
“And when we get there, you will introduce me to your leader?” She hadn’t been sure what to expect on Erid, as Grace hadn’t asked Rocky much about the planet’s government or cultural set up.
The anthropologists on Earth had theorized that Eridian society was community-centric and maintained family units to the way that Earth society did. They clearly had strict understandings of what was appropriate and allowed, which indicated the likelihood that socialization was important for in-group identification. There were warring theories on whether Eridian culture included social strata and classes and economists had been particularly interested in how the alien’s economy worked.
Stratt promised to send back as much information as she could in her own Beatle-like informational probes, which she was scheduled to send back a few weeks before her food supplies ran out.
“Rocky takes Earth astronaut to science center for questioning. Then Rocky takes Earth astronaut to Earth ♫♪♫.” She didn’t recognize the last word.
“♫♪♫, question? Don’t know word,” She asked in response.
“♫♪♫ is small Earth atmosphere. Eridian scientists create for Grace when Grace arrive on Erid,” Rocky clarified.
Ahh, she thought to herself. They had been able to create some sort of biodome for Grace when he came here. Her heart clenched at the thought of Grace all alone in some alien zoo. Slowly starving. Withering away to nothing.
She knew then that that’s where she would find Grace’s grave.
She steeled herself for the moment that she’d dreamed about for years now. That she could finally pay her respects to her fallen friend, felled by her own sword.
The moment she could finally be close to him again after all this time.
“Did you know Grace on Earth?” Rocky asked her as the drive continued.
Images of Grace and her traveling the world together flooded her mind’s eye, so much so that she had to squeeze her eyes closed to get it to stop. “Yes, I knew Grace quite well.”
“Really?” Rocky did turn to look at her, and she had the feeling that he was using his echolocation to read her expression through her space suit. “You must be old for Earth.”
She couldn’t help but laugh. “Yes, I am old, but since there is no planned return journey, it made sense to send someone with not a lot of time left to live.”
She didn’t mention why she had been selected or how she’d requested to be sent alone or how this lengthy suicide mission was the one thing she hoped would bring her hostile mind some much needed peace. They would have time later to discuss those things.
“How are you called, question?” Rocky asked after another minute or two of silence between the two of them.
“My name on Earth is,” she paused, turning on the speaker on her space suit. “Eva Stratt.”
The vehicle came to a screeching halt, and Stratt was almost flung from her seat onto the hard rocky terrain of the road. She grabbed the metal that made the frame of the car and was able to catch herself just in time.
“You are Earthling who sent Grace to die. Statement.” Rocky’s song was loud as he spoke, his tones sharp and enunciated.
For the first time since arriving, Stratt was scared.
But she wouldn’t let it show.
Instead, she replied as pragmatically as she could, simply confirming what was true. “Yes.”
“Why are you here, question? To take Grace?” Rocky was radiating with anger.
She shook her head. She barely had enough resources for the journey here, and the probes she was sent with weren’t large enough to hold human remains. And besides that, the people of the world loved Grace as this mythic hero, as a legend, but here, this small alien loved Grace as a friend and family member.
She would never dream to take Grace away from that which loved him the most.
At least not for a second time that was.
“No, no. I am here to honor the great friendship between our two planets that you and Grace forged. I bring objects of scientific importance and vast amounts of information to share with your world as a thanks for your part in saving it.”
“But why you, question? Why send old, terrible woman, question?” Rocky was looking at her, absorbing the micro-changes to her expression through her suit.
She took a deep breath, trying to settle the fear and guilt spiking in her body that threatened to overwhelm her. After she got her breathing under control, she looked at the small rocklike creature and told him the truth. “Because I am the one who wanted to go. After everything I’ve done, Earth doesn’t want me or need me, but there is still good that I can do by coming here.”
Rocky turned away from her—satisfied or unsatisfied with her answer—and turned the vehicle back on.
They rode the rest of the way in silence.
The meeting at the science center was more an interrogation than anything else.
She learned quickly who each of the Eridians in the room were—a reddish one, who was one of the senior members of the science team, a blue-gray short one, who was some sort of diplomat, a very pointy one, who was one of the leaders of this region of Erid, and one with blue and green spots, who seemed to be some kind of philosopher.
She explained how she got to Erid—on a spaceship from Earth—why she was on Erid—to advance the friendship and scientific exchange of their two species—why she had come on her own—she had volunteered for the mission and had strong connections with the original Project Hail Mary team—and what she brought with her—rare elements and materials, new scientific materials and technological advancements, cultural goods, and an artistic offering to honor Rocky and Grace’s work together.
The welcome committee seemed to be satisfied with her answers today and informed her that after 16 Earth hours, they would have their next meeting. The green and blue Eridian explained that tomorrow’s meeting would be open to more Eridians now that the small group of leaders had judged her threat level to be low.
The red one instructed Rocky, who seemed to be sulking in the back of the room, to take Stratt to the ♫♪♫. She recognized the word biodome this time.
Rocky replied sharply. “That’s where Grace is.”
“Yes, take her to Grace.” The red one clarified, clearly annoyed at Rocky’s recalcitrance
To Grace.
To his grave.
To the place she hoped would give her even an ounce of closure. To the place where she could be close to him again. To the place where she could honor his sacrifice and his memory.
She felt like she was in a dream as she moved through the science center and followed Rocky to a strange monorail set up outside of the science center. She strapped herself in as the machine sprung to life and zipped away.
Rocky still said nothing to her.
She decided to give him time before trying to connect with him again.
The biodome had been the glow that caught her eye the entire ride from the space elevator to the science center and as they got closer and closer, she found herself marveling at the structure.
It was gargantuan, a true technological marvel that covered thousands of square meters. As they got closer, the quiet wirr of machines became more audible, and Stratt found herself wondering at the technology that went into the life maintenance systems that powered the dome.
At least Grace had lived out his final days in some comfort it seemed.
The monorail dropped them off right at the airlock that separated Erid’s dark surface and the biodome.
Rocky scuttled towards the door and began silently entering a series of codes into the first handle of the airlock, letting the door swing open suddenly. He didn’t beckon for her to follow, but she did anyway.
Rocky began picking up some xenonite shards, which he formed very quickly into a suit that encased his entire body. It was very impressive, and she looked forward to asking him how he was able to do that so quickly at a later date.
Once Rocky was dressed in his xenonite suit, he entered a series of codes into the control panel in the corner of the airlock, which caused the ammonia gas to be sucked out and replaced with something that Stratt imagined was close to Earth’s air.
She found herself suddenly filled with anxiety of what she would find on the other side of the door.
To see what she’d come across the universe for.
To see who she’d come across the universe for.
With a hiss, the automatic latch on the door to the biodome disengaged, and Rocky pushed a button on the command panel that caused the door to swing open.
The first thing she noticed was the bright, blinding lights of the dome, which temporarily blinded her.
The second thing she noticed was a figure standing in front of the door.
A man.
Grace.
A human man.
Grace.
“Welcome to Erid—”
Grace.
Her body collided with his almost instantaneously.
She could feel him.
Sturdy. Breathing. Alive.
She never wanted to let go. She wasn’t even sure if this was all real.
He hugged her back, uncertain and surprised at her reaction.
“Grace, is that really you? Are you alive?” She gasped before realizing that her space helmet had swallowed her words. He couldn’t hear her without her removing it or engaging the suit’s microphone.
She pulled away from their embrace and began to unhook the helmet.
“I hope your journey wasn’t too bad,” Grace began, seemingly babbling and nervous by the sudden influx of touch. “I know—”
Finally, she pulled her helmet off, dropping it rather carelessly to the ground.
“Grace,” she breathed, breaking Grace from his continuous ramblings.
“Stratt, how are you here?” He said, taking a step forward to close the gap between them.
She wasn’t sure if it was the shock of Grace being alive, some sort of newfound sentimentality or something completely and utterly alien that caused tears to spring to her eyes.
She let herself collapse into Grace again, this time sobbing into his shoulder. “You’re alive. You’re alive. I can’t believe you’re alive.”
He held her tightly, pulling Eva in close to him. “I’m alive. I’m ok. It’s ok.”
His embrace was soft and warm, just like it had been during their time together on Earth. He was one of those people that just seemed like they were made to hug and be hugged. Stratt remembered during their time on the ship that many crew members would confide in Grace, seeking a comforting hug from a friendly face, and she understood why.
She kept having to check that he was really alive. She could smell him, the scent of him different than before but brilliantly human and full of life. She could hear him, the sound of his voice whispering comforting words in her ear. She could see him, the rise and fall of his chest as he breathed. She could feel him, alive and vibrant under her embrace.
All signs verified that Ryland Grace really was alive.
She forced her breaths to slow and her tears to stop before she let her hand travel up to cup the corner of his face. “You’re really here.”
He smiled, his eyes misty with unshed tears. “I really am.”
“How? How are you here?” She asked quietly.
“I could ask you the same question,” he replied, his lip downturned slightly.
“It’s a long answer,” she replied. “Though I’m sure you would say the same thing.”
“I would.” He nodded.
She didn’t want to let him go. She’d only just gotten him back after all.
But she knew they couldn’t stay like this forever.
And Stratt, always the pragmatist, pulled herself out of the embrace first.
Grace nodded curtly. She wished she could be in his mind. “Why don’t we go to my house and debrief over dinner—like old times.”
“I’d like that very much,” she said with a nod. “Let me remove my full space suit first.”
As she removed her suit, she noticed that Grace’s eyes were glued to her. He watched as she struggled to remove her left leg from the heavy material, gravity making the task much more difficult than she had anticipated. She got it off with a bit of effort and hung up the suit in the airlock area with what she presumed was Grace’s xenonite suit.
Grace was frowning slightly when she turned back to her, his expression serious as he watched her walk through the place he’d called home for all these years.
His hair was similar to how she remembered in style, but now his blonde locks were entirely replaced by gray. The wrinkles in his face were deep, and his skin looked thin and weathered by age.
And yet, she kept finding his eyes. His eyes were still bright, filled with unspoken hopes and dangerous dreams. Twinkling with a mixture of joy and sadness and excitement and anger and whatever other feeling was rapidly cycling through the logical and illogical parts of his brain.
He was entirely different.
He was entirely the same.
She wished she could crack him open. Examine every part of him and find which parts were still hers and which parts were entirely new.
“Come,” Grace said, beckoning for her to follow him to the house on the shoreline. “Rocky, you don’t need to stay if you need to get back to Adrian.”
Rocky finally said something. It was short and angry. “Rocky stays.”
Grace shrugged and turned to walk to his home.
Stratt noticed now that he had a considerable limp and that he depended pretty heavily on a metal cane. His movements were labored, and Stratt wondered if it was an old injury that had been aggravated or if it was just the slow march of time that had degraded Grace’s body.
Grace walked up the few steps and held open the door to his home.
And suddenly Stratt felt incredibly out of place. She thought she’d be quietly finding closure alongside long ago dug grave, and yet here he was, alive, inviting her into his home.
She felt, for the first time in a long time, completely and utterly unprepared. This was uncharted waters. This was unexplored territory.
The house was small, but she understood the appeal of it. It was made from stone and mortar, like something that ancient peoples would’ve constructed their homes with, but in place of windows and doors were large xenonite sheets, that let the light from the dome into the home. Inside, there was a small sofa and a desk with a small chair in the living space. She could see into the next room a small kitchen with a sink and small refrigerator and a small room that Eva imagined must be the bathroom. If she craned her neck a little, she could see into the bedroom, which had a huge window overlooking the rocky shoreline.
“Please, sit,” Ryland said, waving at the sofa with his hand. It was made of some sort of fibrous cloth and was a greenish gray color. She took a seat, happy to finally rest her body after a long day. “I’ll get you some water.”
“Thank you,” she said, taking the glass of water from Grace as he returned.
Rocky had perched himself on top of the desk chair in the corner of the room. He still hadn’t said much, but it occurred to Stratt that he was watching her. Waiting for her to do something terrible to their beloved Grace again.
Grace lowered himself onto the other side of the sofa, careful not to touch her as he did.
The silence between them was thick and heavy and uncomfortable. They used to be so good at sharing silence, but now it felt so foreign to be quiet with him.
So she spoke. “So, how is it that you’re here?”
“You meant why didn’t I die like you thought I would?” The words were barbed and his voice harsh. His expression contorted into something mean and then into something regretful.
It felt like she was back in her prison cell, reading the vitriolic letters from her former colleagues wondering how she could do this to the best of them. To Ryland Grace.
Before she could respond, he said quieter. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that. It’s just a lot that you’re here.”
She closed a deep breath in and closed her eyes. She tried to center herself, but it was harder now in her old age. Age was funny like that. She felt things so much more intensely now than any other part of her life since she was a teenager. Her emotions were parabolic in their intensity, peaking in youth and old age.
She was elated he was here—alive, vibrant and excitable.
And yet she was so scared of what it meant. This journey of atonement, a chance to find peace and forgive herself for the worst moment in her long life, had become something else entirely.
She wasn’t sure if she could ever actually earn Grace’s forgiveness.
And seeing him here, so close and so far, she wasn’t sure if she had totally forgiven him for what he’d made her do. For the role he’d played in making her a Judas.
After a moment of settling, she opened her eyes again and managed to say. “For what it’s worth, I’ve never been happier than anything to find you here alive.”
He smiled sadly and got up. “You must be tired. I’ll let you rest.” He grabbed her small bag of materials that she’d dragged with her from her spaceship and carried it into the bedroom. “Take the bed tonight. I can sleep on the sofa.”
“I couldn’t possibly—” She began to protest.
“Stratt, please just do what I say.” Ryland pinched his nose, squeezing his eyes shut as he said it.
She followed him into the bedroom and was surprised how fast sleep took her once she was under the now threadbare blanket that she’d sent Ryland Grace to space with all those years ago.
In the middle of the night, Eva briefly woke, the sounds of voices in the other room piercing her sleep. When she’d wake again in the morning, she wouldn’t be sure if it was a dream or if she’d really overheard it.
“Rocky, it’s fine. You can go home,” Grace said in a harsh whisper.
“Grace is not safe. Stratt is woman who sent you to die. You cannot trust her.” The Eridian’s tone was sharp, the notes of his song like speech staccato and louder than Grace would have preferred.
“She won’t do anything. She doesn’t want to hurt me.”
There was a little scuttling. “Then why here, question?”
Grace sighed. “I don’t know why she’s here, but I know she doesn’t want to hurt me. She didn’t even want to hurt me back then.”
“Grace stupid. Grace will get hurt.”
“Please, just go home. I’ll see you later, ok?”
Sleep pulled Stratt under again before she knew if Rocky had left the little house, and this time, the sleep was dreamless.