Baby assassin's tactical childhood series
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Bruce Wayne did not plan to acquire a child—especially not one dropped on him mid-patrol by Talia al Ghul.
The boy—Damian Wayne, five years old and terrifyingly competent—immediately calls Bruce “Father” and begins judging everyone in sight.
Jason Todd, the new Robin, is loud, reckless, and very unimpressed with a miniature assassin correcting his posture.And Bruce is left with a new, very small, extremely opinionated son—and absolutely no idea what he’s doing.
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so the two little titans, Damian Wayne and Jonathan Kent, four years old and already experts in charming—and subtly manipulating—their respective fathers, were introduced to each other’s worlds. Bruce and Clark exchanged knowing looks: this would be interesting.
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Bring Your Son to Work Day by Candicewt
Fandoms: Batman - All Media Types, Justice League - All Media Types
03 Apr 2026
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Bring Your Son to Work Day: where a toddler critiques boardrooms, insults Lanterns, and proves once and for all that
scowls > superpowers.Spoiler: Bruce is terrified, Damian is thriving, and juice boxes are serious business
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The most dangerous mission in Wayne Manor was never crime-fighting. It was ice cream after midnight
Damian Wayne identifies a critical weakness in Wayne Manor’s defenses: a household-wide obsession with double-fudge dark chocolate ice cream.
With Jason, Dick, and Tim acting as an absurdly overqualified extraction team, a covert midnight sugar heist seems destined for success—until Bruce Wayne appears in the library doorway radiating pure disappointed father energy.
What follows includes one terrifyingly calm lecture, three brothers sentenced to manual Batmobile detailing, and a 32-step dental hygiene ritual.
Or: Damian learns that exceptional fudge comes at a tactical cost.Series
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Damian Wayne is eight years old, artistically gifted, and entirely unwilling to participate in Easter traditions unless they meet his exacting standards.
What begins as a simple Justice League egg hunt quickly devolves into chaos when Jonathan Kent decides that every hand-painted “Damian Egg” belongs exclusively to him.
Meanwhile, Bruce Wayne discovers an unexpected new emotion: jealousy over the unequal distribution of his son’s artwork.
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The Batman fights the monsters. But the Butler... the Butler makes them wipe their feet.
Bruce Wayne may be Batman, but Alfred Pennyworth is the reason everyone in the house survives.
Or: Damian conducts a scientific study and discovers that the butler is, in fact, the most terrifying being in Gotham.Series
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How Damian Wayne Won Custody of Bruce’s Lap by Candicewt
Fandoms: Batman - All Media Types
05 Apr 2026
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Five-year-old Damian Wayne discovers that pretending to be scared gets him unlimited access to Bruce Wayne’s lap, bed, and full emotional support package.
Dick calls it manipulation.
Tim calls it psychological warfare.
Jason calls it spoiled brat behavior.
Bruce calls it quality father-son bonding.
Everyone else calls it a problem.Series
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Bruce Wayne thinks he is raising Damian Wayne.
Damian Wayne knows he is conducting a long-term psychological study on Gotham’s most overprotective father.
every year brings a new evolution of Bruce’s increasingly catastrophic Soft Dad protocols, much to the horror of Dick, Jason, and Tim.
The internet calls it toxic.
The brothers call it enabling.
Damian calls it excellent strategic planning.
Bruce calls it love.
Or: Damian grows up, Bruce spirals, and the Batfamily suffers.Series
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Damian Wayne has survived the League of Assassins, Gotham’s worst villains, and Jason Todd’s sense of humor.
None of that prepares him for the one thing he secretly wants most: a normal school.
After hearing Jon Kent talk about lockers, lunchboxes, and best friends, Damian asks Bruce to let him attend school for the first time.
Bruce’s answer is immediate.
No.Because Bruce is terrified that Gotham’s deadliest child assassin might either get his heart broken… or accidentally become principal by Tuesday.
A bittersweet story about childhood, overprotective fathers, older brothers who have zero faith, and the small things Damian wants but pretends not to need
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Bat-Family Protocol: Anti-Kryptonian dating ban by Candicewt
Fandoms: Batman - All Media Types
09 Apr 2026
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This archive is about the Bat-Family treating Damian Wayne talking to Jonathan Kent like a national emergency.
Bruce Wayne creates the “Fifty-Year Dating Ban” to stop a problem that doesn’t even exist.
Every smile from Jonathan Kent triggers full tactical panic and overprotective chaos.
The Robins form a security wall, Tim runs fake stats, and Jason threatens everything emotionally.
Jonathan is just a happy kid, Damian is confused, and Bruce is fully convinced it’s a conspiracy.
In the end, nothing is actually wrong—except everyone in the Bat-Family overreacting at Olympic levels.Series
- Part 10 of Baby assassin's tactical childhood series
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One cursed mission. One glittery sorcerer. Four catastrophically bad decisions.
In one blast of cursed cobalt magic, the four Robins are thrown into the ultimate sibling nightmare:
Damian wakes up in Jason’s intimidating frame, Dick gets trapped in twelve-year-old chaos mode, Jason is forced into Tim’s over-engineered tactical suit, and Tim inherits Nightwing-level acrobatics he absolutely did not ask for.Instead of telling Bruce like rational people, they make the deeply questionable decision to fake being each other and survive one full night inside Wayne Manor without getting caught.
Featuring:
✨ Damian’s height dreams coming true (temporarily)
🗡️ Jason being personally offended by Tim’s pockets
🤸 Tim vs. Nightwing physics
😈 Dick abusing Damian’s adorable-child privilege
🦇 Bruce Wayne secretly being the final villain of the storySeries
- Part 11 of Baby assassin's tactical childhood series