Chapter Text
The Accords have grown in the past two years, now managing three US based super hero teams, and 15 international ones. As well as working with hundreds of individuals, and opening schools for the enhanced. However alien threats are occurring at a terrifying rate, and as much work as Dr. Stark has done the planet needs more defenders. The Avengers are going to be reinstated under the accords.
They return to the united states on a rainy Thursday afternoon. The event is met with little fanfare. There are no press waiting for them at the end of the runway, no fans. Just Tony Stark, and a UN delegate by the name of Jessica.
“American soil.” Clint says, practically jumping over the stairs in his rush to get off the plane, the others follow at a more sedate pace, and Steve takes point as they walk up to Tony and Jessica.
“Welcome home Mr. Rogers.” Jessica says, mindful that this man has been stripped of his military title while away. “My name is Jessica.” She holds out a hand, and Rogers shakes it smiling at her. “I am a delegate from the UN and I will be working to ensure that you and your friends read and understand the accords before being reinstated as active duty.” She explains, and the smile drops.
“Nice to meet you ma’am.” Steve says, with a false smile. Jessica smiles back at him blood red lips stretched thin around the uneasiness in her stomach, this is not going to be an easy job. The others wave at her from where they’re standing behind Steve.
“A pleasure to see you again Steve,” Tony greets, smiling broadly at his ex-teammates. Jessica’s seen the clip from Siberia, she knows what they did, and she’s amazed at how open and kind Tony looks.
“It’s nice to be back.” Steve replies, and Jessica winces at the obvious snub. “We’ve been looking forward to getting home, it’s been a long time since we’ve been in the compound.” Steve explains, and the others nod. Jessica wonders how this man can act as if he has a right to Dr. Stark’s property.
“I’m so sorry, weren’t you guys informed?” Stark asks, and again Jessica finds herself admiring his ability to act, he seems truly apologetic.
“Informed about what?” Clint demands shouldering his way in front of Steve. Jessica immediately labels him as her second biggest project after Steve.
“The Avengers Compound no longer exists, it was turned into a boarding school for enhanced individuals about a year ago.” Tony explains. Clint’s mouth drops open. “I’m so sorry, we had no idea you were coming back, and after the backlash to our Civil War, you understand? These kids needed a place to say.” Jessica is reluctantly impressed, there’s not a lot the Avengers can say now without sounding like total assholes.
“That was our home Stark.” Wanda says, and Jessica realizes they have no problem sounding like total assholes. Tony deserves an Oscar for how apologetic he looks.
“I understand, and I’m sorry. You guys will need to find your own housing now.” He explains, and Jessica can’t believe how entitled the rogues are.
“What, are you too good to allow us to stay in your tower? The mansion? Any of your other properties?” Clint demands, and Jessica wants to smash his face in with a brick so she doesn’t have to deal with his insolent ass.
“You started this war, and you’ve taken our home.” Wanda says, voice cold. Jessica silently mouths those words back to herself and finds that they still don’t make any sense.
“I’m sorry.” Stark starts again, and Jessica decides to save the poor man from these people, hopefully he’ll return the favor at some point.
“The Accords protect private citizens like Mr. Stark from being required to house teams of heroes. This also protects him from liability, and it is a constitutional right.” Jessica says, and Steve straightens up, smile back in place. She suddenly feels slightly afraid of him. “Any time spent avenging, or training will be compensated for by the UN. The facility for training mutants is currently located in DC.” This seems to shut down the others.
“Oh, of course. Sorry for arguing like that ma’am.” Steve bows his head respectfully, and Jessica feels a tension headache forming already.
“It’s okay, the car should be waiting outside to take you to the training facility.” She says, and watches as Tony graciously takes the shoulder check from Clint as they stalk past him to the exit. “Jesus, fuck man.” She mumbles, and Tony nods.
“Might want to invest in some asprin.” He tells her, offering her a bottle from his suit pocket. She nods, rubbing at the bridge of her nose. “Best of luck, and call me if I can do anything to help you.” He says.
“Thanks, but I don’t know if god himself could help me with them.” She replies, Tony smiles sympathetically. “It was a pleasure meeting you Dr. Stark.” She says, scowling at the waiting car.
“You as well Jessica.” Tony says, and she watches in awe as the suit seems to form around him. “By the way, call me Tony.” He winks at her as he takes off.
…
Within a week, Scott had signed paper saying he would no longer act as Antman, and would instead return to Pym Labs. He would have to meet with his parole officer moving forward considering how he’d left to fight with team Cap. That was the only progress she’d made.
Being the delegate for the ex-Avengers is a nightmare, and Jessica hates everyone involved in giving her this position. Steve Rogers still doesn’t know how to shut up and act like an adult, and the whole group seems to think Dr. call-me-Tony Stark personally wrote the accords. Still after a month and a half of hammering the Accords into their heads a few of them have managed to reach active status.
“Sorry my dude, sorry my dude, I know they’re all assholes, but I think you’re cool.” A robotic voice sings, to the tune of happy birthday, from her desk as she enters her office. “From Tony Stark.” It adds, as if an afterthought. She looks at the giant gift basket, and the biggest thing of aspirin she’s ever seen right in the middle of chocolate, and toys, and what looks like a full set of Stark products, and bursts out laughing.
“I don’t know if you can send messages back, but if you can tell Dr. Stark-“ She starts not expecting to be interrupted by the gift basket.
“Tony.” It corrects, she smiles wryly at it.
“Fine tell Dr. Tony that I appreciate the gesture, but I really didn’t need such an expensive gift.” She says, and there’s a small beeping noise.
“Message delivered, response, shut up. You deserve it.” The basket informs her, and she smiles at it, and grabs the biggest chocolate bar.
“Tell Dr. Tony he’s sweet.” She says, and the basket beeps happily.
…
A month after that and everyone has finally signed the Accords, Jessica still feels like slamming her head repeatedly into a wall until they go away, but she’s almost done here. Soon they’ll be cleared for duty and she’ll be given an easier task, like solving world hunger, or vaccinating all of Africa.
“Who’s cleared for duty now?” Tony asks, and she leans back in her chair it groans under his weight.
“Rogers finally passed his psych evaluation today, but they’re holding Barnes back in therapy. Sam passed last week, and Clint managed to get past the psych eval, but I think he cheated.” She lists off. Tony groans.
“I do not want to see them in the field.” He mumbles, and she laughs. “Yeah, I know. You’re probably just excited to be done with them.”
“Damn right, Maximoff is at Xavier’s now for training, although if she continues to be volatile he may black her powers. Soon the PR nightmare that is Steve Rogers will be someone else’s problem.” She sighs in relief, and Tony laughs.
“What, three more days? What could go wrong?” He teases, and the color drains out of her face.
“Why? Why would you jinx me like that?” Jessica asks.
…
Things were finally looking up for Jessica, but goddamn Tony Stark had jinxed her, and consequently himself. She had one day left before PR nightmare Steve Rogers would be out of her hands, but he’s cleared for a battle against a small group of dimension hopping aliens, and of course he decides to pick a fight with Tony Stark, and of course someone recorded it.
The recording was shaky and partially blocked by an overturned hotdog cart, but it showed Captain America Shield in hand stalking up to Iron Man.
“What did you do to Clint’s gear?” Steve demands, and Jessica notices a minute flinch when the man raises the shield. Tony covers it, removing the Iron Man mask and pulling off a look of confused innocence.
“I haven’t touched his gear Steve, what happened?” Tony asks, concerned. Steve breathes in deeply through his nose. Jessica feels her stomach drop as she watches him open his mouth.
“You heard him on coms, the draw time was a fraction to slow, the arrow tips aren’t changeable, and the quiver works slowly. What did you do? Are you trying to sabotage us?” Steve demands, and Tony looks absolutely aghast.
“Steve, we’ve talked about this, under UN policy I am not involved in paying for or creating your gear.” Tony explains. “I’m sorry, but as an independent citizen the UN cannot ask me to do things like that.” Steve looks outraged.
“I’m not the UN, and I’m asking.” Steve says, and Tony blinks at him.
“Look, I’m sorry that he isn’t used to government designed weapons, but if the UN can’t afford my consulting fee, then I don’t think you’ll be able to either, and to be perfectly honest Steve I can’t justify spending hours on a product for a single person.” Tony explains as Clint arrives, picking his way past a crushed car to Steve’s side.
“What is this shit.” He demands throwing his bow and quiver at Tony’s feet. Jessica groans.
“That is what the government can afford to arm you with I guess.” Tony says, looking apologetic. “I do not touch any of your weapons, and all Stark Industries property was repossessed while you were away. Frankly, I am not permitted to work on weapons for you guys, the UN can’t afford my consulting fee.” Tony explains.
“We all almost died over your consulting fee!” Clint screams, arms flailing out in anger. He looks like a caricature. Jessica groans at the sight of PR nightmare number two.
“I’m sorry, but I cannot afford to spend time on a weapon used by one person when there are thousands of police officers in need of sturdier body armor. The government pays me for that consulting job and it helps more people while funding clean water research.” Tony explains. “Giving away my services and time to you means that I cannot help the everyday people on this planet as much as I’d like to.” Steve opens his mouth to interrupt. “I design prosethisis and medical gear now Steve, I can’t afford to spend days working on new gear for you guys when the government can provide you with perfectly functional equipment.” Tony finishes. “I’m sure you understand.” Tony moves to leave, and Rogers grabs his arm.
“We’re your friends Stark.” He growls, and Tony glances down at his grip.
“Funny none of my friends physically assault me and then expect me to pay for their stuff.” Tony says, a metal finger rubbing against the top of the armor comically. “I didn’t realize we were friends Rogers, I thought we were just coworkers.” The man filming makes a soft ooh sound as Dr. Stark activates the thrusters.
“Fucking asshole.” Clint says before the filming cuts off.
In the time it took Jessica to watch it the video gained nearly 200,000 views, and it didn’t seem to be slowing down at all. Her phone rings.
“This is Jessica speaking, how can I help you?” She asks, dropping her head down onto her desk with a surprisingly loud thunk in frustration.
“Hey Jess, this is Tony.” Tony says, and she groans loudly into the phone. He jinxed her, he caused this mess.
“I hate you so much right now.” She hisses, and he sighs. “Hate you.” She reiterates, banging her head against the desk a couple times. “Why would you jinx me? Why? Why did you curse me? I mean he’s already a PR nightmare, but you didn’t have to jinx me.”
“I’m sorry, I’m awful, I know.” Tony jokes, and Jessica scowls.
“You’re not awful, shut up. Rogers is awful.” She grumbles into the wood of her desk.
“Agreed, but I did jinx you. I’m sorry, can I get you anything, an apology basket?” He offers, and she sits up, relaxing back in her chair, the one he bought for her unnecessarily and that she is taking with her when she leaves this hell job, because dear god is it comfortable. “Anything you need.” He offers.
“I need a replacement.” She mutters, six more hours, that’s all she has to survive. Six more hours, and then it’s over and she can go home.
“Oh?” He asks, a teasing lilt in his voice. “Well you’re in luck the UN should have a full Public Relations staff there in about,” There’s a pause presumably as he checks the time or their progress. “Five minutes.”
“Thank Fuck!” Jessica says, chair squeaking as it rolls back under her weight. “You ass, holding onto that information while I was mad at you.” She hisses, and Tony laughs.
“You know you love me.” He teases, and she smiles.
“Only cause this chair is super nice. Thanks again, you’ve been a godsend.” Jessica smiles, and there’s a moment of awkward silence.
“My pleasure Jessica.” He says, and then the line goes dead. Now she just has to survive four more minutes until the PR team arrives, what could go wrong? A loud crash comes from the hallway, and Jessica groans.
“Fuck everything, and everyone who put me in this position.” She mumbles, climbing out of her chair 3 minutes fifty five seconds, she can do this.