Chapter Text
Appearance mattered. The harsh fact which he was reluctant to accept until recently – that people would judge you from your look before anything else. Since he was little, Peter was a kind of kids who was inspiring to be a successful scientist like his role models, Dr. Banner or Mr. Stark, more than wanting to look pretty.
Because the awesomeness of a scientist was measured by their intelligence, not a look.
Apparently, knowing nothing about how his own appearance was projected in the public had become his shortcoming in the long run. The truth was that Peter was born with a lithe physique. His height might be of average (and Peter would maintain that. Thank you very much!) However, unfortunately, all of his friends seemed to possess the body of a supermodel that could easily dwarf him. And don’t let he start with his baby face. These physical attributes didn’t make Peter's already complicated life easier.
Yet, Peter never seriously attempt to fix it before. Comparing to problems encountered by Spider-Man, Peter’s problem was just petty and ridiculous. After all, getting misunderstandings time to time shouldn’t be that worse than dealing with explosives and animal-themed villains, right? Right. But it didn’t mean that Peter would handle it without complaints. It was obvious that being forced to be a recipient of social treatment which wasn’t appropriate for your age or capability could be really frustrating.
To elaborate Peter’s tiresome struggle, here was one of the examples: age restrictions.
Buying alcohol at a local store or going to a pub was always a pain in Peter’s ass since he hit puberty because he never accomplished these tasks effortlessly which was kind of annoying. And because these activities weren’t necessary to his life, Peter just swept the problem under the carpet by simply not drinking or hanging out in places that required his ID. However, sometimes, social life called. He was an adult and it was expected for him to exhibit an effort to keep social connections. It was okay actually because Peter wasn’t a hermit. He could tolerate this -- had his colleagues at the Bugle not found mingling in a bar a good idea.
So here he was, Peter Parker, aged 23, already graduated and working as a photographer while also doing a master degree in a college, sulking in front of a fancy pub near downtown to which he was denied entry, because the estate’s bouncer didn’t believe he was ‘legal’ to visit this adult-rated club yet.
“Seriously?” He lifted his eyebrows at the bouncer who looked back to Peter with indifference, not paying any attention to the young man’s growing bubble of annoyance.
He would admit that his face might not look convincing as it seemed to forget to age normally after he reached 17 but Peter already provided his ID card! Sadly, the bouncer was quite experienced in his job and had seen the attempt to outsmart him with faked ID by minors who thought they were smart and sneaky many times he lost count. The guard seemed to put Peter into the same category with those little brats. He didn’t have time for a thorough scanning for one client. Also, he really didn’t want to deal with any trouble in case the police came knocking their door. In conclusion, kicking anyone suspicious out than letting one minor slipped in was a better tactical strategy. Nodding to himself, the bouncer replied to the waiting ‘teen’,
“Still no, kid.”
“I can show you my birth certificate, want one?” Peter pleaded although it came out a bit sarcastic because of his losing patience.
“Look, that’d make it ever more suspicious. No one carries that paper around. Should I call your parents?”
The only solution for this situation now was to call his colleagues to pick him at the gate but it would entail an embarrassing talk that would be too much for his pride. So, Peter just huffed and called his friends to apologize and cancel their plan before dragging himself back to his room and waiting for the time to change into the suit and go patrol.
Sometimes, in situations like this made Peter wish that he could change his appearance. He didn’t aim for something extreme makeover – just his face to accurately reflect his age would be sufficient enough to boost his self-confidence… and he’d not deny that few inches adding to his height would be nice too.
Among many reasons he liked being Spider-Man was that despite still being a tiny fellow to his superhero acquaintances who were much older and larger than him, at least as the masked vigilante of New York, Peter got some respect. Although the Bugle slandered him on daily basis, at least no one thought Spidey needed to be saved. Peter Parker wasn’t so lucky.
See, people inclined to draw a connection between individuals’ look and their personality or skills. And with his not-so-macho appearance, Peter often got mistaken for being fragile or incapable. On the bright side, he didn’t have to worry that people would suspect a thing about him and his alter-ego identity. Besides this, it was awkwardly uncomfortable. Many times that Peter was just waiting for a bus and minding his own business, but random men and women kept approaching him to ask whether he needed help or someone to accompany him to home.
And there was that one-time incident when women in the Bugle upon seeing Peter out of Jameson’s office and learning that the Daily Bugle’s stingy editor refused to pay Peter again, marched angrily to their boss’s room and demand that he paid their cherished young photographer his delayed payment.
This was their exact word:
“Mr. Jameson, you callous man! You better pay him right now. You made that poor baby cry!”
What the—Peter didn’t cry! For heaven’s sake, that was his look of disappointment. Not a single tear being shed, ladies!
“Where did they get that idea from?!” Peter ranted. He had been pacing angrily since he reached home. “I mean I appreciated their kind gesture – standing for justice and all. And J.J. paid me. But how could they misread my face?” He wondered out loud to the other person in the room who was currently draping himself on Peter’s couch that was clearly too small for him and his long legs were sticking out funny, but the taller man somehow managed to make it look comfortable.
“Well, with that large brown eyes of you, Bambi, when you start to sulk, they become watery and very sad. No decent human beings could stand seeing a cute puppy cry,” Wade finally gave a comment which was really unhelpful.
“I wasn’t sulking,” the young hero pouted petulantly which got him immediately a scoff from the mercenary.
“Yes, you did. You’re doing that right now too.”
Peter grimaced and threw a pillow at the older man’s face but he evaded it before it hit his head.
“You know that I was right, baby boy,” his mercenary boyfriend continue to snicker, clearly enjoying at the expense of Peter’s suffering.
“Shut it, Wade.”
Peter really had no idea why on earth he decided to put up with this unbelievable man.
The web-slinger had heard about Deadpool’s reputation long before he had a chance to meet the infamous mercenary. When it happened, Spider-Man was astonished by how different the Merc with a Mouth was, from the portrait of a merciless killer people gave him. The older man was childish, and had an unhealthy obsession over superheroes, especially Spider-Man whom he openly fanboyed. Admittedly, Peter was flattered by Deadpool’s unhidden adoration toward Spidey and surprisingly enjoyed having the Merc’s company, his insanity and all. They had team-ups. And before realizing, their rooftop hang-out session had slowly ingrained itself upon their night schedule.
Nevertheless, Peter wasn’t that stupid to believe that the mercenary’s silly personality was his true self.
A chance to meet the real Deadpool, however, occurred when Peter was the least prepared. That time the younger hero was in his civilian clothes and appeared to be stumbling across Deadpool’s path while said Merc was going to murder a guy in front of him. His victim was already unconscious and collapsed on the dirty pavement. Peter didn’t have time to change into his suit. He doubted that the unfortunate man would still be breathing until he came back. Still, the weight of ‘with great power comes great responsibility’ applied to him regardless of his conditions, even as Peter Parker, he had to do something.
This led to Peter abruptly stepping in the soon-to-be crime scene and shielding Deadpool’s target with his own body. Hid heart was beating rapidly at the realization that this was their first confrontation in a battle even though Peter wasn’t in his uniform and Wade didn’t recognize him more than a nerd with unrealistic bravery, or stupidity.
Talking about Deadpool, now he was still regarding Peter with his eerie white eyes and Peter’s spider sense was going off like crazy.
“Back off, kid,” Deadpool growled, clearly unamused by people interrupting his business, finally revealing his real voice which was nothing like that high-pitched childish tone that he often used when they patrolled together. It was gravel, hoarse, and in every sense dangerous. Without his suit and mask, Peter couldn’t help but feel overwhelmed by the mercenary’s murderous aura.
Seeing that Peter still stood his ground and not ran away like other people. Deadpool tiling his head deeply impressed and curious.
Clenching his hands in determination, Peter spoke,
“No. I’ll not let you kill him.”
“That guy is responsible for human trafficking and slave trades, kid. He is a bad person."
Wade was surprised. He wasn’t usually conversing with a stranger when he was working but something in this young brunette was so familiar and the Merc found himself giving the boy a reason.
“You send him to police," Peter replied without thinking, but it had Deadpool’s eyes widened comically at the very same preaching that had been said to him almost every night.
Hmm…
“What if I say no to that?”
“...Then I'll do my best to protect his life.”
To make it more believable, he put up his fighting stance. Peter knew it was a really ridiculous picture: A scrawny man challenging a merciless combatant. Peter didn’t plan to engage in the fight and win at all. His plan was to distract the Merc until someone called police and hope for the best that he’d succeed without accidentally revealing his true strength.
He wasn’t expected to meet with Deadpool bending and clutching his stomach dramatically as he laughed himself to death.
“Ha, ha. Ha. Sorry, didn’t mean to crash your dream, baby boy,” the mercenary said to Peter who stood dumbly still in his fighting pose, while Deadpool wiping his imaginary tears from his mask and finishing his speech, “But I don’t harm kids. Let alone a toddler.”
Peter stared that the man’s grin evident through the mask, slowly feeling his frustration rose from Deadpool's outright mockery. Peter really shouldn’t continue this conversation but he still went digging his grave just because he wanted to wipe that stupid smile off the older man’s face.
“Underestimating people isn’t a wise decision. You might have that impressive work of muscles here but who knows – between the two of us, I might be the stronger one.”
“Oh yeah. What’re you going to do to the big bad me, little hobbit? Nipping my fingers to death? Ouch, Ouch. Oh, you’re so scaryyy – I’m petrified!” Deadpool howled, placing both hands on his hip and shaking them mockingly at Peter. And something in Peter’s head just snapped.
“Oh, Bite me,” he roared.
And proceeded to web the annoying Merc up to the wall.
He really shouldn’t act out of anger. And revealing himself to Deadpool was the least wise and most regrettable decision that Peter had committed in years. Although it did bring them together afterward, it was still annoying whenever Wade recalled this encounter just to embarrass Peter.
Clearly, unmasking himself to the Avengers was one of his big mistakes and it wasn’t about confidentiality or trust issue that worried Peter. Somehow, to know that a person behind the most famous mask of New York was just a young adult shocked everyone in the A team and led to a change in dynamics of his relationships with them. Like, right now Tony wouldn’t stop pestering Peter for the younger hero to move to the Avenger Tower for a ‘better protection’. Or a change in Captain America’s order which now always sent Spider-Man out of the heart of battles.
They didn’t even try to be subtle at all, and the team assembled just to beat Peter’s ‘own’ villain was the last straw that broke the camel’s back.
“Guys, you can’t just fight my battle for me!” Peter was fuming. Normal people would be over the moon for having the best superhero team of New York protecting them but Peter really had no desire for a horde of papa and mama bears. He was a superhero in his own right. He didn’t appreciate being babied.
“Now, what the public would think of me?” He asked them, attempting it to sound like an admonition. But the only person who seemed to look guilty was the good doctor Banner which made Peter felt guilty in return. The others, however, were infuriatingly unflappable.
Tony waved it off dismissively like this issue was unwarranted of his attention. Instead, the billionaire looked at their youngest member expectantly and demanded,
“What’s more important is that you are currently dating someone whom you are trying to hide from us. Who is this person?”
Peter crossed his arms defiantly. “I’m not hiding. I can date whoever I want and I’m not obligated to tell any of you, my love interest.”
“Dude, just tell them,” Clint suggested. He understood well how far his fellow heroes’ protectiveness could go. Things were different now since they discovered that the crime-fighting spider was just a kid, half of their age. The heroic responsibility was hard to anyone even as experienced as the Avengers but Peter with his smaller frame carried the heavy weight on his shoulder alone for years. They couldn’t help but felt the urge to protect the boy. And this somehow expanded to the spiderling’s personal life as well.
Among the Avenger’s members who went forcefully overprotective over Spider-Man, Hawkeye was pretty laid-back. Perhaps, it was because Barton was the only person that really had kids and knew how not to drive their kids crazy with their concerns. Anyways, Clint still found ruffling Peter’s feathers very entertaining. So he added teasingly,
“Or Tony is going to hack your phone to find out anyway. And Cap and Nat here would be knocking that poor man’s door before you even leave this room.”
“How did you know I’m going to do that, Legolas?” Tony raised his eyebrows. Clint rolled his eyes back.
“Why you have to do this to me?” Peter asked, his tone exasperated.
Trying his best to sooth the upset hero, Steve began, “Peter, we just want to make sure that you are with a good person --”
“And weed out those who don’t deserve you,” Natasha finished darkly.
In the nutshell, the Avengers didn’t take it well when learning that the gun for hire was dating their precious boy. All thank his healing factor, Wade survived the Avenger’s scanning, although barely.
“They can’t do this to you,” Peter frowned, “and they can’t do this to me either. Treating me like I’m just a child. Why do people keep assuming that I’m weak?” The tired hero flopped himself down on his bed, face in a pillow.
“Is it because of my face? Should I try growing beard to look more awe-inspiring?”
Wade shook his head fondly at Peter’s obliviousness. The brunette had it all wrong, and it seemed like he’d never be able to figure it out himself. As a good boyfriend he was, Wade decided to enlighten Peter with the truth.
“You know nothing, Petey pie. People don’t act the way they do because they think you are weak. It’s because you’re cute. You’re like a little cinnamon roll whom people want to protect at all costs.”
“I’m not cute!” Peter yelled but his voice got muffled by the pillow he was currently hiding his face in. “And I don’t want to be cute. I want respect,” he added grumpily.
It was like watching a grumpy little puppy throwing a tantrum.
Wade had to refrain himself from going ‘aww’ because that would eliminate his chance to get handsy and do the naughty with his baby boy tonight. But seriously, Peter thought pulling this kind of act would get people stop coddling him?
Yes, Peter had that adorable boyish face but that wasn’t the only thing that was drawing people to him. The young hero wasn’t aware of this fact but there was something about him that always felt so innocent. As a hero, he was the only one who truly believed in redemption, who kept giving people a chance to hope and change for the better. The cruelty of this filthy world seemed to be unable to tarnish his pure soul.
And as Peter, he was still a good kid. The man swore ‘mother-hugger’ for fucking sake. They might be grouped together as the most annoying talkative superheroes in the universe but their styles were nothing alike: Wade with his R-rated crude jokes and F word flying while Peter favoring kid-friendly science puns like a little nerd he was. Thinking about this, it was really amusing that the Amazing Spider-Man’s default was his own adorableness because Peter Parker couldn’t stop being cute. Wade chuckled at his thought which had Peter pull his face out of the pillow to look at him in suspicion.
“What’s so funny?”
“You know, instead of fuming, you could take advantage of this – just fluttering your pretty eyelashes and you’d have people wrapping around your little finger,” Wade mused intentionally because it was always a fun seeing Peter all red and flustered.
As expected, Peter looked very scandalized and horrified.
“I...I’m not going to seduce people to do what I want! That’s wrong!”
Cute. And with a right answer because Wade won’t stand anyone getting smitten by Peter’s charm and trying to take him away from him.
Wade might find Peter’s struggle amusing most of the time but he was aware that it also came with a less fun package. Peter’s inability to stop being cute always caught the eye of unwanted suitors.
They were currently in a supermarket. A box of cereal which Peter wanted was on top of the shelf beyond his reach, and the man was too prideful to call Wade. Stubbornly, Pete tried to stretch his hand in hope that he could get to the cereal box, while Wade just enjoying the view from the corner of the shelf like a good unreliable boyfriend he was.
Peter gritted his teeth. ‘Stupid shelf and stupid boyfriend,’ he thought.
At home, Peter had no need to call for help. Getting things from a high place was like a piece of cake when he had his webs-hooter and his climbing ability with him, but sadly Peter couldn’t utilize those skills in the public sphere.
Then, an unfamiliar hand reached up and picked the cereal box for him. Peter blinked in confusion as the cereal box was placed in his basket.
The owner of that hand was a blonde muscular man who looked like a gym-going kind of guy. The man flashed him a smile of his white teeth which Peter had to return obligatorily, although hesitantly. He didn’t want to be impolite to the stranger who helped him even he didn’t ask for that help because that would make Aunt May disappointed.
“Thank you,” Peter said to the gym guy who seemed to misinterpret Peter’s thank as a green light to start a long conversation.
“You’re welcome! My name is John by the way.” the man winked flirtatiously, holding his hand out.
The young hero was going to greet him back when he felt a pair of an arm snaking around his waist and pulling him back to the familiar wall of muscles. Wade put his chin on Peter’s head and rubbed it on his lover’s brown hair lazily, while his eyes staring intensely at John guy like a predator watching his prey.
“Hello, John Doe. My name is Wade,” Wade smirked with all his sharp teeth. His tone might sound light but it was tinted with an unhidden dangerous warning. John guy swallowed thickly at the presence of a scarred man who was even larger than him. Hastily, he excused himself and disappeared from the couple’s sight within a few minute.
Peter immediately head-butted his caveman of a boyfriend as soon as they were alone.
Peter glared at his nonchalant boyfriend. Wade always exhibited his possessiveness whenever he believed that someone was hitting on Peter. He really didn’t know whether should he find this irritating or endearing, probably both. However, that didn’t terminate the fact that Wade threatened other civilians, and thus deserved a scold for being rude.
“That was uncalled for, you barbarian.”
“Nope, it was necessary,” Wade shrugged, picked that offensive cereal box from Peter’s basket and proceeded to throw it out. It hit the shelf behind them with precision and made other products falling down on the floor like dominoes. Peter winced while Wade just picked a new box of cereal from the shelf, dropping it in the basket like nothing happened.
Being misunderstood, babied, and protected, as annoying as this whole ordeal was, Peter could take them any day. But there was one thing that he would never tolerate. And here, the true disadvantage of being smol (Wade's word not his.): People didn’t recognize Peter as Wade’s BOYFRIEND.
The first time Peter entered St. Margaret’s, it was because Peter wanted to know more about Wade. So, the mercenary decided to introduce him to his friend/sidekick. Weasel. The bartender, however, upon seeing whom Wade brought to his bar, immediately gawked at Peter like he was a new different species.
“The fuck man. You disappeared for months and emerged back with a teenage son,” Weasel commented blatantly which earned him a glare from Peter.
“Shut up, you dick. Peter is my boyfriend.”
“Fuck you too, asshole. But seriously, never take you to be one of cradle snatchers.”
Wade grunted, “He is legal, asshat. And stop staring at him or I’ll gouge your eyeballs out.”
“Whatever burger-face,” the scrawny bartender shrugged, unruffled by the deadly mercenary’s threat. Other patrons and waitresses were glancing at them too, or to be precise, Peter with curiosity.
“Don’t pay attention to them, kid. They’re just curious. Folks here rarely see a guest who is still young, cute and not having a broken tooth,” Weasel explained.
Despite an expressionless face and blunt remarks, Weasel was surprisingly a good company. Peter learned a lot of things about pre-Deadpool Wade from him, particularly his former love interests.
“I mean, this ugly bitch here once when he was still a charming killer hooked up with every bargirl in this neighborhood. I was so fucking surprised that it was cancer that fucked him up. We always bet on the pool that he would get himself killed by HIV or Syphilis whatever got him first.”
Weasel stopped briefly to take a sip from his glass and he regarded Peter pensively.
“Him landing on someone like you was really out of my expectation. No offenses, Peter. You’re cute. But I always imagined only a woman with claws, literally and figuratively, could tame this ruthless bastard.”
Wade just snorted over his mug while Peter calculating this information with a heavy heart.
“Don’t you dislike going there?” Wade asked when Peter insisted going with him to St. Margaret’s where the Merc was its frequent patrons. Drinks there weren’t good but it was the only pub where Wade could drink without worrying that his hideous face would accidentally give someone a heart attack. However, he had no idea why his younger lover would want to go that unpleasant lair of the despicable giving that Peter also didn’t drink.
Peter didn’t offer the Merc an explanation of his true reason. He doubted that Wade would understand. It was just that Peter didn’t blend in with Wade’s folks. His youngish appearance was more than enough to make him look like a sheep in the pack of wolves. And Wade was too imbued in his own self-loathing to notice that things went both ways too – that not only people thought he didn’t deserve Peter but they also snickered at how a plain white boy like Peter could capture the experienced mercenary's heart. Even in his ‘deformed’ body, Wade was still handsome, scars only made him even more charismatic.
And some girls at St. Margaret’s found him fascinating. Like, Wade’s ex, Vanessa, the waitress who was hotter and sexier than ten of Peter combined. According to Weasel, the two parted amiably, still maintaining their friendship. Deep inside Peter’s heart, he just wished that their break-up ended disastrously because things would be easier. Because she had been talking to Wade for more than 10 minutes now. Seeing her with Wade, losing in their conversation, probably reminiscing their old time together, no one would question that they were a matched couple because of how natural they matched each other. It made Peter felt like a third wheel. Gulping down his own glass and slamming it down on the counter, Peter stood up.
'Oh, fuck it.'
“Wade, who’s this cute boy standing behind you?” Vanessa asked, cluelessly waving her hand at Peter and instantly stopped when he didn’t wave back. Her beautiful face showed a little bit of uncertainty. Meanwhile, Peter was looking unimpressed at his own boyfriend who was unbelievably oblivious to the awkwardness that was the meeting between his present lover and his ex.
“Oh hey, Petey! Nessa, here is the baby boy I have been telling you about! He is—“
Wade didn’t have a chance to finish as Peter was pulling him down and kissed him fiercely. Vanessa’s mouth hung open in a perfect form of ‘o’. Other people in the room were looking dumbstruck.
‘Good,’ Peter thought, ‘Let them now know whom Wade belongs to.’
“I’m his boyfriend.”
A Bonus:
After the bar incident and they already returned home. Peter immediately hid under the blanket, forming a lump on the bed as he promised himself that he'd never drink again. Somber now, Peter just realized what had he done.
“Oh my god, I was so rude to her! It was because of that alcohol. I should not act that immature—“
“Peter,” Wade interrupted, while still patting the lump of his young lover gently, “Nessa understood."
"I kissed you in the front of everyone!"
"Actually was really hot. I was swooned, baby boy. No one ever feels jealous of me before.”
“Really? You think I’m hot?” The voice of surprise and the disheveled haired Peter emerged from the blanket. Wade grinned,
“Yup. Hot and cute. You’re after all my smol baby boy.”