Work Text:
The first time Namjoon hears Seokjin’s voice, Seokjin tells Namjoon he loves him.
He was ten minutes into a call with Seokjin when it happened. Namjoon had been in the middle of the footpath, power walking to the 8AM class he had often found himself skipping, when his phone had rung.
The air was slightly cold as Namjoon made his way down the route he walked every day. Buds were starting to bloom on the trees again and the birds were finally starting to sing in beautiful lilts that carried through the campus. Namjoon had wrapped a scarf twice around his neck that morning but the rush to his first class had left his neck too warm, and he suspected it would be damp when he pulled his scarf off. His phone started to ring so he pulled it out of his pocket while he walked and flustered himself trying to untangle his earphones and pulg them in fast enough.
Seokjin was calling him on FaceTime, which was a first, so Namjoon answered. Seokjin didn’t turn the camera on, so Namjoon didn’t either, but he knew what Seokjin’s face looked like. Had seen it on his phone screen a hundred times. The first time, on his HelloTalk icon, the second, on his Snapchat story. Had seen his face in his iMessage when Seokjin sent him an image of him at a party with two friends, that Namjoon had saved to his camera roll. Had seen his face behind his eyelids when he turned the lights off and put his hand underneath his boxers. Had seen his face on Namjoon’s computer when he felt especially lonely.
So while Namjoon mourned the absence of Seokjin’s face on his tiny phone screen, it was only temporarily.
“Namjoon-ah,” Seokjin says and Namjoon feels his heart melt. Stops himself in the middle of the footpath and sits on the steps outside a building. He doesn’t need to go to his sociology class anyway. “I got in.” Namjoon unwinds the scarf from around his neck, it’s slick with sweat but the rest of his body is too cold.
Seokjin’s accent is thick and heavy but it’s not surprising to Namjoon. “Congratulations,” he says down the phone.
“I would not been able to do it without you,” Seokjin says through the phone so sincerely Namjoon smiles out in the open.
“Have been,” he corrects instinctively.
Seokjin chuckles slightly and it’s so warm and light that Namjoon feels he could float in it forever. Let it wrap around his body and engulf him. “Ah,” the voice says through the phone. “Gamsahaeyo.”
Seokjin’s English pronunciation is good, he had always worked harder than Namjoon had at his target language. Namjoon thinks now that maybe this is because he actually had a goal. “You’re welcome,” he says foregoing speaking Korean in reply. Seokjin notices of course and he laughs. “You will not have better Korean if you do not practice.”
“I know,” Namjoon says and rests his chin on his open palm as he sits watching students pass by. He sounds fond, even to his own ears, but prays that because this is the first time Seokjin has heard his voice he won’t pick up on it. Is thankful Yoongi isn’t here to hear it and never let Namjoon forget how much he sounds like he’s in love with a man who lives on the other side of the planet. Maybe Namjoon is in love with a man who lives on the other side of the planet. He doesn’t want to think too hard about it.
But still, Namjoon sits there and he thanks the world for technology, for his mother pestering him to relearn his native language, for the App store putting HelloTalk on his list of app recommendations, for Seokjin being the first person who spoke Korean to appear at the top of the list when Namjoon opened the app.
Hello? He had written, unsure if he was supposed to speak English or Korean to the stranger. But he had put ‘beginner’ for Korean in his bio, and this stranger was at ‘intermediate’ level English. So Namjoon said hello.
Hi! 안녕하세요! ^.^ Came the reply twenty minutes later.
Namjoon thinks a lot about Seokjin. Thinks about everything Seokjin has taught him beyond just Korean. Thinks about how hard Seokjin works to accomplish his dreams, and now thinks about how his constant struggles when practicing English with Namjoon have payed off. “Jin?” Namjoon says into the phone and Seokjin hums. “I’m really proud of you for getting into the exchange program.” Seokjin makes a scoffing noise into the receiver but he sounds slightly flustered. Namjoon wishes he could see if Seokjin is blushing on the other end.
Students keep walking by him, birds keep coming and going from tree branches and Seokjin says, “Namjoon-ah, I love you. Thank you for everything.”
Namjoon feels too warm, like the beginnings of a fever is spreading through his body. It sounds like Seokjin is saying goodbye. It makes sense that he would be. His English is incredible now, he got accepted into the program he had been working towards for the past year. Namjoon’s skills are now obsolete.
“It’s okay, you’re welcome,” Namjoon replies. He wants to say I love you too. Has wanted to for the past year. But he doesn’t. He stands up, dusts his pants off and begins to walk towards the library. There’s no point attending his sociology lecture now. “I’ll talk to you later, okay?” He says this but he feels scared, because he’s convinced himself that ‘later’ doesn’t actually exist anymore. He’s fulfilled his purpose. Seokjin has accomplished everything he needed to and doesn’t need Namjoon anymore.
But then Seokjin says “Of course,” and that tinny voice coming through the phone call is the most beautiful thing Namjoon has ever heard. “You have much Korean to improve on. Goodbye.”
Namjoon hangs up and grins up into the open air of the blue sky. Two birds fly above his head. It sounds much more like a promise than a goodbye.