Work Text:
What is the worst feeling In the world? That feeling you get when you are counting on something, something that in hindsight shouldn’t matter but it does, oh it sure does. Like, let's say it's your 4th year dating anniversary and you expect at the very least…acknowledgement…something, anything and you wake up to… “mornin’” that was all Ian Gallagher got the morning of his anniversary. That was bad enough, it made him feel like nothing mattered, like he didn’t. and what could make it worse…if anything could….that's right it was followed by a very simple. “I'm going to be home late tonight” and then Mickey, the love of Ian's life got out of bed and got in the shower. Not even a kiss, nothing.
“happy fucking anniversary Ian, I love you, Ian,” Ian spoke to himself and groaned as he lies back in bed for a little longer. Worst. Day. Ever.
--
Mickey leaned against the glass shower door as he closed it and turned on the water and let out a swift sigh. As excited as he was for tonight, he hated seeing that look on ians face, like he was losing faith in him, thinking Mickey could ever or would ever forget the day that they decided to officially be together. It was the single best moment of his life. Putting that beautiful smile on his face. He would have to deal with a little anger and a little disappointment but he was hoping that the ending of the night would make up for everything. He wanted to find a way to show his love for his boyfriend without letting anything on but he didn’t know how to without letting anything on. So he took his shower and got dressed and looked at his boyfriend who was lying on the bed still with a pillow draped over his face and he looks a deep breath.
Mickey considered just walking out of the room right then, it would be so easy. Ian might even think he was just distracted by work, and he could definitely excuse it later tonight but instead, he went to the side of the bed and removed the pillow from Ian's face and he leaned in and kissed Ian's lips. “I love you, babe, I will see you tonight okay? I promise it won't be too late.” He said trying to urge his boyfriend to know inside of him somewhere how much he truly meant to him. He needed him to know, even know when it seemed like their anniversary was the last thing on his mind, that Ian in himself was always the first and the last thing on his mind, every single day from now to eternity.
“Ok. I love you too Mick. I’ll see you tonight. Want me to pick up dinner on my way home?” he asked softly. And Mickey smiled just a little, he knew what Ian wanted to do, he wanted to yell at him and he was sure he would hear about it later but he was trying with everything in him not to and that's why he loved his man, he was always giving him chance after chance to prove himself and that is why tonight above all nights was so damn important.
“No. I will. Don’t eat without me though, I won't be too late and ill get us something delicious.” And a lot memorable, he thought to himself. The truth was he wasn’t even working today, he had a plan but for appearances, he would leave in his work clothes until Ian was gone and he would make everything perfect. Just like the man he loved and had loved most of his life.
--
Ian got up that morning and took his own shower, In his very upset state he didn’t notice things that he might later look back on and say he should have known all along. Things like, in the small closet in the bathroom there was a small basket of things for tonight, but when he opened that door all he saw were towels as he felt his desperation. After his shower when he walked out into his and Mickey’s bedroom, he might have noticed in the sock drawer, that on Mickey's side the socks had been arranged just so an under them a tiny box had lain, even the corner had been sticking out. If he had been in a better mood he might have noticed those things before he shut that drawer.
He also might have noticed in the far corner in his closet there was a very noticeable shopping bag from Ian’s very favorite clothing store, He also might have noticed the small envelope that was mere inches from his keys that held a very special surprise in them. If he hadn’t been so focused on all of the things swimming in his brain, he might have noticed all of these things and ruined the surprise. And yet, that is exactly what his boyfriend was counting on. Mickey had known that If he tried to hide everything he was planning, he would be so focused on that, that his boyfriend would know something was up, but If instead nothing looked amiss, there was no way Ian would ever suspect anything.
Ian walked out of his house that morning and worked, up until lunch. It was then that he had to go to his sisters for family lunch, it was supposed to be family dinner but they had moved it to lunch because he had expected to be spending the night with his boyfriend, blissful and making love. He doubted any of those things were going to happen now.
--
“Yeah, he’ll be there, you know he will. Not a word okay? No, Fiona, I know you, you are going to want to say something to make him feel better but you cant, trash talk me If you need to, but you cant say” a damn thing.” Mickey spoke into his phone trying to convey to his boyfriend's sister not to let on that he was up to anything. It was extremely important that she or any of the Gallaghers kept to the script at lunch.
He went to work for a minute and left again to head to the shops to get his last minute touches. Tonight was all about Ian and it was going to be fucking magical.
--
Of course, the Gallaghers being the Gallaghers, couldn’t help but try to cheer Ian up which was more annoying than it has helpful.
“He forgot, I can’t fucking believe he forgot about our day. I mean after that first year, he hasn’t forgotten since. I thought we had come so far these last few years. I barely got an I love you this morning, what am I supposed to do? Do I just act like it doesn’t matter? Maybe act like I forgot? Maybe I could just return his gift. Or maybe I just give it to him anyway and make him feel like an ass. I don’t even want to go home tonight, maybe I shouldn’t. that’ll show him. I’ll just go get an overnight bag before he gets home. Can I stay here tonight?”
Of course, Fiona knows she isn’t supposed to intervene but if Ian goes home right now or even too early he’ll ruin the surprise and what if he doesn’t go home, then he misses possibly the most important night of his current life.
“NO!” Fiona’s eyes widen at Debbie who had just jumped up. Crap. “I mean, um..you cant run away from your problems ian. Just go home tonight, and like give him a chance to remember. You know Mickey, he isn’t all about the romance like you. Just tell him the truth, how you feel, but don’t freak out just be honest. He’ll like feel horrible. But he’ll make it up to you.” Debbie tries to cover.
“Yeah but that’s the problem, isn’t it. Why does he always have to make up for it? Why can't he just remember.” He huffs.
“Because he isn’t you man. Come on. Coming from someone who fucks up quite a bit in my life. Mickey and I might not see eye to eye on a lot of things.” Lip starts but gets a look from his siblings. “or ever, fuck you guys, but the idiot loves you, you are upset about him forgetting but you know he loves you and he only does all this romantic shit for you. If it was anybody else he wouldn’t even care enough to make up for it. So stop being a weasel and just go back to work and then go home. Give the damn guy his present that you made me go shopping for, and he will like be all sorry, and you’ll get whatever you want for the rest of the night and probably the following week.” Lip is quite proud of his speech because that watch Ian got Mickey wasn’t the only thing he was forced to go shopping for, in fact, he had spent entirely more time with Mickey Milkovich over the last few months than he cared to admit. And he had to hand it to the guy if there was anybody meant for his brother it was Mickey.
“But what if it's like a subconscious thing, like he only forgets because I don’t mean that much to him.”
“Oh, Bullshit. We talking about the same guy here, man?” Carl asked from the other side of the table.
“the same guy…who stood out on this very lawn, outside your damn window, drunk as fuck, admitting to everything he never wanted to admit to. Do you remember that bullshit because I do? That being the night four years ago when you and Mickey finally became officially together.” Carl tried to reason and he was right.
“Yes, that is true, but maybe things have changed,” Ian said back.
“oh really? Was it not the last four years when that man showed you everything you had ever been worried about was unfounded. He became something else for you. He got a real job, he hasn’t done a job that wasn’t legit in like 3 years. That’s not for him, that’s for you, so you can be proud of him.” Fiona said.
They were right they were all right but it didn’t stop his disappointment in the fact that he wanted to celebrate his love for the man in question and it felt like Mickey didn’t want the same thing. He listened to his families rantings throughout lunch and they were right but as the day went on the anger boiled up inside of him, he had to remember. He even called Mickey but he sounded distracted and uninterested in whatever Ian had to say and that is what did it. That is what caused what happened next, an action he would regret for a long time to come.
He rushed home, he didn’t know when Mickey would be home but he needed the time to prepare anyway. The plan was to calmly explain to Mickey how hurt he was, the plan was to give him the gift, and the plan, the plan was to work this out at least, but what did he do? He got home and he paced, He didn’t turn around to see the table behind him that had candles and a nice home cooked dinner, he saw Mickey first sitting on the couch, some game was on. He didn’t even take the time to notice how nice mickey looked, he just let it set him off.
Mickey was supposed to be so busy he would be home late but here he was, watching tv, he was obviously planning on sitting there and doing nothing all night while Ian had spent the day wrestling with his own emotions and insecurities.
“Seriously??” Ian said and Mickey turned to face him. It was actually perfect that as Ian started his rant, mickey step by step moved behind him. It wasn’t a sudden movement, but the exact opposite really. Slow and steady.
“I just don’t understand. Have I given you everything, haven’t I? Have I been selfish? Making you into someone you don’t want to be. That’s what my family thinks, that I have made you into who you are and you did all of that for me. If that is the case? What are we really doing? You loved me enough to build this life for me, but what if it isn’t what you really want? Am I what you really want. And if I am why wouldn’t you remember the day that it all started? How can you forget that four years ago today we became an us? We stopped being two people pretending we weren’t anything, that we stopped being two people who just fucked, we became a couple. And I thought it meant as much to you as it did me. I don’t ask for a lot Mickey, not really, I didn’t want some grand gesture, just a good morning baby, happy anniversary, that’s all I wanted, and then I would come home and we would exchange presents, even if it was a card and nothing at all and then we would make love and I would feel special and I would make you feel special, but what did I get, nothing barely a good morning, and then a simple I love you which means everything it does, but then I call you, thinking I'm being irrational and maybe I can save this day and not go to bed alone or miserable or mad at you and you were too busy to even talk to me and then I come home and you are just sitting here watching a game. Did you even get dinner like you promised? Did you? Do you even still want me?? I'm so in love with you like forever love you and you…god…I need to know Mickey, do I make you miserable…do you just wake up and want to get away from me every day? God and now I'm ranting because I'm selfish, maybe everyone is right, I'm just this miserable selfish prick, and maybe I should be better and you wouldn’t want to get away from me so much…what would make you happy? I’ll do it, ill change, and we can be better…we can be…” Ian took a breath and Mickey couldn’t anymore he was borderline about to bust up laughing but he was also sad that Ian had thought all of those things about them today.
“Would you shut the fuck up, and look at me now?” Mickey said, and Ian went to the closet and grabbed Mickey's present before he turned around ready to just give him his present and listen to whatever Mickey had to say. And when he finally turned around he was mid-sentence.
“I did get you something by the way even if …wha…” what he was looking at was nothing he had expected. Mickey had remembered, and one thing was clear he had just made a complete ass of himself. “you remembered?”
“Ian…baby, of course, I did. You know you aren’t an easy person to shop for or surprise.” Mickey stepped away from the perfect set up table and touched his hands to Ian's face. “Ian I'm so sorry you thought all those things so let me start with…first of all I didn’t change just for you, maybe at first but not really, and by the way, I love our life together, I love you. And that selfish bullshit can walk back out that front door because a selfish man doesn’t stop in the middle of his own rant to think its all his fault. He doesn’t wake up three hours before he himself has to get up just to give his boyfriend a good morning kiss, and sometimes more. He doesn’t make sure all of my clothes are clean the night before I go to work, he doesn’t cook and clean and do all the things you do for me. He also doesn’t hold me specifically in the way I need him to every night so that I don’t have bad dreams. You, my love, are not selfish, you are everything and that is why I do these things. Some bring that present over here and sit down, because dinner is right here, and so am I. Happy anniversary.” He says before kissing Ian and moving to sit down as well. He takes a deep breath because step one is out of the way and onto the next.
They eat and Ian stares at his boyfriend, in this loving sort of guilt that only Ian can convey with a look.
“Stop that.” Mickey says lightly “Stop getting all guilty. Let's do the present thing so I can get to the fucking portion of this evening.” Mickey said wiggling his eyebrows. It was really just a way to calm his own nerves down.
Ian handed over the gift assuming mickey just really wanted to know what inside of the box. Mickey obliged and smiled when he found a very expensive, very distinguished watch, and he looked inside the band to the back of the watch because he knew his boyfriend and there in the letters was. “I make you free, you make me alive.” And Mickey let his nervous energy go because Ian was his everything.
Ian opened his present and gasped at his new leather jacket and not just any jacket but the one, the one he had been staring at for months, the one he would never buy for himself but there it was.
“Try it on,” Mickey said lightly and with ease so Ian did. “Now, check the pockets. In true Ian fashion, he reaches in the wrong fucking pocket first and pulled out the envelope and opened it to find two tickets to Paris, two tickets that were dated for about a year from now.
“Paris? Really? That’s amazing mick, oh my god, but in a year…This next year's present?” he asked and Mickey laughed.
“Not exactly and you would know that had you checked the right damn pocket.” He said and Ian looked at him confused but he checked the other and gasped as he pulled out a tiny little black velvet box. And then he looked up before he opened and he saw Mickey get down on his one knee and nod towards him to open it, he couldn’t move, he couldn’t fucking breathe.
“come on man, open, so I can make a big speech and shit,” Mickey said with a little laugh.
Ian opened the box to see the most precious and best piece of jewelry he had ever laid eyes on. It was a silver band, it was a little simple but there was a snake-like swirled line on the band and there, in a tiny etched part of the band, it read… “Forever Yours.”
“Baby, our life together is more than I ever imagined I could have, more than I ever thought I wanted, but with you, I have found that I have everything I never knew I needed. So today, on the anniversary of the day we became official but not the first day that we were together, I ask you to be mine forever, because….well…a long time ago this lanky red-head drove his way into my heart step by step, moment by moment, with a jackhammer, and I will be the first one to say that I was surprised to find that’s exactly what I needed. You are under my skin, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you, loving you and showing you just how much you and your love does mean for me, so without further ado, will you Ian Gallagher, do me the huge favor and honor of becoming Ian Milkovich?”
“Nope…”
“oh..”
“You have to say the actual words, Mickey, Say the question.”
“Will you marry me?”
And with that Ian got out of his seat and handed Mickey the Ring box.
“put it on for me?”
“Say it, Gallagher,” Mickey said glaring at him.
“thought it was Milkovich now…Yes, Mickey I will marry you, today, tomorrow, every day. Yes!” Ian said and Mickey placed the ring on his finger and punched him lightly in his arm. “whats that for.”
“Nope,” Mickey said in a mocking voice. And Ian laughed and wrapped himself up in Mickey’s embrace and then he picked Mickey up. “what are you doing, put me the fuck down.”
“I am taking my fiancé to bed, and then…I'm going to fuck him into the mattress…or I could put you down and we can watch that game you were so interested in when I came in..” Ian offered.
“Proceed,” Mickey said pointed to the bedroom.
There were many ways over the years and Ian and Mickey had ‘made love’. They had fucked a million times before they had ever made love. They had done fast, slow, hard, soft, in weird angles in weird locations. Tonight was all about the love, it was an ode to their past and their future. So while Ian made slow passionate and all-consuming love for his soon to be husband, he used all of it. Tonight is the night he would remember for the rest of their lives together. He undressed mickey quickly and with urgency. He places slow methodic kisses to every inch of his lover's body, he made love to him, first by ramming in and out of him quickly and hard, and then slowed down to a loving pace. He looks in every moment, with slow loving passionate strokes until Mickey was begging him for more, and then he switched it up and rammed into his soon to be husband hard with every ounce of energy that he had inside of him. until Mickey came with a vengeance, not long after he came as well and collapsed on top of the man he had loved for so many years, that he would love for the many years to follow.
That night when they fell asleep they fell asleep wrapped up in each other, completely and absolutely ready for the next phase of their lives together.