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The door opened and Mikasa walked inside the cavern. The still air had a chill to it, and it wasn't from the lack of sunlight. The sight of one of her former comrades restrained in chains sent a chill through her that not even her warm scarf could banish.
Armin stayed by the door, crossing his arms in a vain attempt to conserve heat. He stood beneath one of the many torches used to light the cavern. His light complexion looked even paler as his gaze fixed on Annie. Their former comrade and friend sat on her knees on the floor. The chains anchoring her limbs were too short for her to stand. Her head hung limp with her chin against her chest. Blonde hair obscured her piercing blue eyes.
Mikasa's footsteps were the only sound as she approached Annie. Each step echoed like the beat of an executioner's drum. When she came to a halt before Annie, she fixed her gaze on her and said in a low voice, "You know what happens next."
Annie kept her head down as if she hadn't heard her.
Mikasa crouched in front of her. "You know what I'm about to do to you."
Annie swallowed before speaking. Her eyes never left the stone floor. "And? What do you want me to do? You've clearly won."
Suddenly, Mikasa's fingers tightened in Annie's hair and she roughly yanked her head back, forcing her to look up at her. Annie's only response to the pain in her scalp was to narrow her eyes. "I want you to look me in the eyes before you die."
"And see what?" Annie spat. "The cold eyes of a heartless bitch? Or the dead eyes of a mindless titan as you devour me?"
"The eyes of someone who once considered you her teammate," Mikasa answered, letting go of her. Annie's head dropped back down. "I am strong, ruthless, and perhaps, unforgiving. But I am not heartless."
"But you think I am?"
"You murdered countless innocent people," Mikasa pointed out, her voice calm to hide her fury at Annie's sins. "You lied to your teammates for three years. You turned on us as if we never mattered to you." Her steely eyes hardened. "I guess that shouldn't be a surprise. You never gave a damn about anyone to begin with, did you? Your betrayal is less surprising than those two traitors you allied yourself with."
Annie's head lifted slightly. "You know about the other two?"
"Bertholdt and Reiner tried to kidnap Eren," Mikasa explained, lowering her voice. "They failed, just like you did."
Annie started giggling, her shoulders shaking. Armin dug his fingers into his arms at the uncharacteristic sound, but Mikasa didn't flinch.
"You have no idea why we tried to take him, do you?" Annie asked, a mirthless grin on her lips. "But the reason doesn't matter, does it? All that matters is that someone tried to take away someone you loved. You're willing to do anything to protect your loved ones. Even kill, right?" Annie tilted her head up at Mikasa, her blue eyes locking with her gray ones. "How is that any less heartless than what I did?"
Mikasa remained silent and Annie shook her head.
"I don't want to be anything like you," Mikasa said at last. "But I can't help it if I am. The world is cruel and wicked. I can't fault you for going to extremes to protect your loved ones. But to deceive your comrades for three years? To pretend to be one of us and then toss our lives aside like we meant nothing to you?" Mikasa dug her fingernails into her palms. "I will never forgive you for that."
"Good thing I'm not asking for your forgiveness," Annie replied. She swallowed and her voice softened. "But I do have one request before I die."
"Why should I grant any of your requests?" Mikasa snapped. "What have you done to earn my help?"
Annie shrugged and the chains clinked softly. "I just thought you would understand what it's like to fear the one you love will never know how you feel."
Mikasa's heart stopped. She was in love with one of them?
The same fear she felt when Eren was kidnapped flooded her. Her stomach had dropped and she had been cold to the core thinking she would never see him again. She would never be able to tell Eren how she felt. Was Annie really feeling that way now?
Mikasa lowered herself to her knees and looked Annie in the eyes. "What is your request?"
Annie swallowed hard. "If you see Reiner and Bertholdt, tell them-" She blinked back pinpricks of tears. "-that I loved them. Especially Bertholdt." Mikasa tensed as she remembered all the times Bert had been caught staring at Annie. So the feelings were mutual? "Promise me."
Annie's mask of apathy was cracking. Her blue eyes were lined with faint red and beginning to shine with building tears. Mikasa ignored the instinct to reach out her hand and comfort Annie. "I promise."
Hanging her head, Annie sighed in relief. "Thank you."
"Mikasa?" Armin piped up. His voice broke the spell between the two women, reminding Mikasa that she and Annie weren't alone. She had a job to do. "We shouldn't delay it any longer."
Mikasa looked over her shoulder at him, and nodded. "Right." Standing, she looked down at Annie, who had hung her head again as she prepared to meet her end. Pity rose up inside her, twisting her guts and making her rethink the plan for a fraction of a second.
No, she reminded herself as she made her way to Armin. I have to do this. I have to become the Female Titan so her power can't be used to hurt any more people.
Armin held the syringe out to her. The liquid inside glittered in the fire light. Untying her scarf from around her neck, Mikasa held it out. "Hold this for me." Armin nodded and they exchanged a scarf for a syringe. Mikasa's eyes never left the titan serum as she turned her back to Armin.
Armin backed up into the doorway, in case the transformation went wrong or Mikasa turned her sights on him once she had transformed.
Mikasa's gaze flicked to Annie one last time and her fingers tightened around the serum. She yanked back her shirt sleeve and lifted the syringe with the other hand. I'm sorry.
Bringing her hand down, she grit her teeth as the needle sunk into her flesh. Pushing the serum into her veins, Mikasa bit back a cry as the fluid burned as it flowed through her. Her head became light and the syringe dropped from her hand. The pounding of her pulse in her ears overpowered the sound of the syringe shattering on the floor. Looking down at her hands, she found them shaking. A moment later, her legs gave out beneath her and her knees hit the floor. Sweat beaded on her brow and slipped down her face as her internal temperature skyrocketed. The hum of electricity filled her ears and Mikasa squeezed her eyes shut as light momentarily blinded her.
When she opened her eyes again, she found herself looking down. The cavern floor was far below her and the ceiling mere feet above her. She tilted her head at the little creature chained to the floor. What was it?
The cavern filled with thunderous noise as she lowered herself to her knees to get a closer look. The creature was humanoid with blonde hair. She raised her head and something inside Mikasa snapped.
Human.
An overwhelming desire to eat consumed her. A morbid hunger she had never previously known wrested all other thoughts from her head. Opening her giant maw, saliva clung to her teeth. Prompted by the desire to fulfill this insatiable hunger, Mikasa reached out. Her hand dwarfed the human, but to her surprise, she didn't try to escape. Her blue eyes were wide with fear.
Blue eyes.
Annie?
Halting, Mikasa blinked and closed her mouth. Something familiar about the human's face drove away her hunger. Her brow furrowed and her hand retracted.
Who is Annie?
Her mind was foggy and she closed her eyes, shaking her head to clear it. The face of the human faded from her mind and her hunger returned. Opening her eyes, her gaze fixed on the human and she reached out once more. Her hand engulfed the human and when she lifted her up, the chains binding her snapped. The human closed her eyes and laid her head back against Mikasa's hand. A look of peace washed over her and tears slipped down her cheeks.
Tears? This human is crying.
Mikasa froze again, her mind fogging up again.
Annie was crying.
The image of a titan popped into her head. It had blonde hair and blue eyes.
Annie has blue eyes.
The blonde titan fought with another one, but lost. Her opponent ripped her head off, exposing her nape. Inside the nape lay a human with blonde hair and blue eyes. Tears were streaming down her face.
Annie?
Mikasa tilted her head and squinted. The human opened her eyes and looked curiously at her.
"Mikasa?" the human asked, and the sound of her voice triggered another memory. Her voice echoed in Mikasa's head, Promise me.
Mikasa's eyes widened in recognition.
This is Annie.
Her heart sank as she remembered what she had to do. Reaching up with her other hand, Mikasa placed her index finger and thumb on either side of Annie's head. With a quick flick of her wrist, Annie's neck snapped and the light left her eyes.
I'm sorry, but at least now, you won't feel it.
Opening her mouth again, Mikasa stretched her jaws wide open. Hunger clawed at her insides again as her feral instincts screamed for her to rip her prey to shreds. Mikasa clung to the memory of Annie's face and her dying wish to pass on her message. It kept her grounded as she tilted her head back and lifted Annie's lifeless body up to her mouth. Letting go, Annie's body fell into her maw and Mikasa snapped her jaw shut. Feeling Annie's corpse on her tongue - rigid, but intact - she forced herself to swallow.
As she felt the lump in her throat go down her esophagus, that burning hunger returned with a vengeance. The will it took to ignore her mindless form long enough to ensure Annie a peaceful death had worn her out. Mikasa didn't have the strength to ignore the gnawing hunger inside her any longer. Mikasa's pupils shrunk as she gave herself to her feral instincts.
A scent caught her nose and she whipped her head around to the doorway. Another human was there. He had blond hair and blue eyes.
"Mikasa?!" the human cried out as Mikasa reached out her massive hand towards him. "Snap out of it!" Before her hand could touch him, something knocked the breath out of her. She collapsed to the floor and felt her eyelids grow impossibly heavy. Unable to stay awake, she let sleep overtake her.
"Mikasa!"
Her name echoed in her ears. Who was calling her name?
"Mikasa! Wake up!"
Someone was shaking her shoulder. Her eyelids felt glued shut, but she found the strength to open them a crack. Through her blurry vision, she saw a familiar face staring down at her. All she could make out was his blond hair. Rubbing the sleep from her eyes, she blinked and looked up into the face of whoever had woken her up.
"Oh, thank goodness!" the person cried, his blue eyes filling with relief. "Are you okay?" He helped Mikasa sit up and she looked down to find a blanket had been thrown over her. She shivered and realized she wasn't wearing anything but the blanket.
"A-Armin?" she rasped, her voice hoarse. "Where's my-?"
"Right here," he interrupted, pulling out her scarf. He wrapped it around her neck just as someone else entered Mikasa's field of vision.
"Oh, good! She's awake!" Looking up, Mikasa saw Hange smiling down at her. She held out a bundle of clothes. "These are for you. I figured you would come out of your titan form with your clothes intact." She laughed. "Imagine my surprise when Armin rushes into my office stammering about you being naked?" She laughed again and Armin turned the color of Mikasa's scarf.
Mikasa blushed and took the clothes. Armin and Hange gave her privacy while she changed. After dressing, Mikasa met the two of them in the hall.
"I can't wait to record our findings!" Hange mused, smiling from ear-to-ear. "We'll finally have some insight to what goes on in a feral titan's mind!" Hange giggled with anticipation, rubbing her hands together.
"If it's okay," Armin asked. "I'd like to speak to Mikasa alone for a moment."
Hange tapped her chin. "Hmm. Alright, but don't keep me waiting too long!" She waved and headed back to her office.
"What is it, Armin?" Mikasa asked.
"I heard you talking with Annie before-" Armin began, wringing his hands. "-y'know? Before you ate her. Why didn't you tell her the truth about Bertholdt?"
"Why didn't I tell her he's dead?" Mikasa replied flatly. "That you devoured him and took his titan power?" Armin looked sheepish and nodded. "I can't say, exactly. Maybe it's because we're more alike than I thought. We both were willing to protect the people we love even if it meant abandoning our humanity. We both loved someone and never got to tell them."
"Eren's still alive," Armin pointed out. "You can still tell him."
Mikasa sighed through her nose. "That isn't the point, Armin. There was a time when I thought he was dead. During Trost, I believed he was gone forever. Remember what that did to me?"
Armin nodded. "You weren't yourself. You were reckless."
"Exactly," she replied. "I lost myself because I thought I'd forget him, and that he'd never know how much he meant to me. I was in a desperate state of mind. What do you think Annie might have done if I had told her?"
"Something desperate?"
Nodding, she continued, "Or given in to despair. Neither outcome was more predictable than the other. I couldn't risk her finding out about his death and swearing revenge. Her titan form would've brought the whole cavern down on all of us."
There was a pause and Armin added, "That's the not the only reason you didn't tell her, is it?"
Mikasa hung her head. "No, it's not. Despite all the things she did, I...I didn't want her to know he was gone." She swallowed hard. "I wanted her to know some semblance of peace as she died." Mikasa hugged herself and fixed her eyes on the floor. "Is that bad? I know I should hate her. I have every right to hate her. But when it came down to it-" She covered her mouth as tears pooled in her eyes.
Armin laid a hand on her shoulder. "I don't think it was wrong of you. In fact, I think it was good of you to let her die thinking Bertholdt was still alive." He squeezed her shoulder. "I saw you break her neck before you ate her. That was kind of you to make sure she wouldn't feel anything."
Mikasa lowered her hand and brought her eyes to his. "Thank you, Armin."
Hange's voice echoed down the hall, breaking them out of their conversation. "Cadets! I'm still waiting! I'm not getting any younger here!"
Armin laughed under his breath and let his hand drop. "I guess we should get going?"
"Yeah, we should," Mikasa replied, sending one last glance into the cavern before heading down the hall.