Archive of Our Own ^beta

It’s when they're preparing for the WINGS album and Band PD approves of Namjoon’s idea to include solo songs that Jeongguk approaches him. Really approaches him.

It’s innocent. Really, it truly is. In the beginning anyway.

But as time goes on and they’re finally putting the final touches on Jeongguk’s song, that's when it changes.

It’s him and Jeongguk in the studio, by themselves at almost one in the morning. Jeongguk is still struggling to find the right tone of voice and Namjoon watches him through the glass.

Jeongguk is much too tense. His shoulders are hunched into him and he might break the skin if he keeps worrying his bottom lip like that. His expression is closed-off with his face all pinched in together and Namjoon sighs, stopping the recording.

“Gukkie,” Namjoon murmurs. “What’s going on?”

Jeongguk curls his fingers into the sleeve of his dark hoodie, biting his lip again. “Sorry, sorry. I’ll do better, hyung.”

Namjoon sighs and motions for Jeongguk to come out, flipping a few switches then rewinding a little on the track. Jeongguk approaches him meekly, too timid and too like the kid he used to be for Namjoon’s tastes.

Without thinking much about it, Namjoon grips Jeongguk’s sleeve and pulls him roughly onto his lap. Jeongguk could pull away easily and avoid this altogether but it's been accumulating up to the point where he knows that this conversation is something they need to get through already.

“Alright. Tell me what’s really bothering you,” Namjoon sighs, finding a hold on Jeongguk’s waist as he sits back in his chair, secretly loving the way Jeongguk makes himself comfortable. “What’s up?”

Jeongguk shrugs and sighs, fiddling with the sleeves of his hoodie. “I don’t know. It just ー I feel like I don’t really mean the song since I didn't write it all by myself.”

Namjoon raises a brow at him, silently urging him to go on and so Jeongguk does, huffing before he tentatively rests his head on the curve of Namjoon’s throat. Namjoon shifts until Jeongguk is situated more comfortably on his lap and lets his fingers scratch at his nape, making Jeongguk tingle all over.

"They're not my words. They don't feel like it and I'm worried everyone else will think that too. Will think that I don't love my hyungs when I do and the thought of someone not believing that I really value you guys hurts. It hurts a lot, hyung," Jeongguk rushes to say, eyes sparkling with a bit of emotion that makes Namjoon's heart constrict painfully in his chest as he watches.

"You know, every word has been used in each and every language. But just because it's not your word, doesn't mean it's not your word," Namjoon murmurs against his hair, burying his nose into the soft locks. "It's all about how you say the words. The emotions you're feeling as you're saying them ー that's what counts, Gukk-ah. That's what it's all about when it comes to this."

Jeongguk tilts his head to the side, processing Namjoon's words. "I think I get what you're saying."

"Do you?"

Jeongguk nods, Namjoon's favorite smile flitting across his face briefly before he pouts again. "Are you sure that I can really call this song mine?"

Namjoon doesn't hesitate to answer. "Of course."

"Thank you, hyung," Jeongguk murmurs after a moment, smiling brightly now.

"Anything for you, Gukk-ah," Namjoon whispers back, his breath caught in his throat as Jeongguk leans in impossibly close, bumping their noses together before their lips meet.

It's soft and exactly like everything Namjoon thought it'd be.