Chapter Text
1. Euphoria
He had to admit that he was really tired this time after all that fight. They hadn’t been able to rest in a long time even after escaping from Whole Cake Island. The thought that they would have to battle against one of the Yonko again and this time for real had made everyone tense, except for his captain that never cared about those kinds of things anyways. So, when they had finally won and defeated somehow that monstrous man named Kaido, the whole crew had relaxed a lot.
They were out at sea again like a crew and the alliances were over, but the sentiment of trust still lingered even if the comrades that had accompanied them weren’t going with them anymore. Somehow it was kind of sad because they didn’t know exactly when they would meet and under what circumstances, but they preferred to think they would be amicable with each other after all they had gone through together.
Sanji couldn’t say he was more tired than the rest as all of them had fought like there was no tomorrow (which somehow made all the sense in the world to think that way given who they were fighting against), but he could definitely declare that he was exhausted. Maybe even more than the many times they had disputed with anyone else since they hadn’t taken a break where they could just be themselves in a long a time and because of that the sensation that they were finally free was practically latent in everyone.
It was their fourth day at sea before arriving into an island, but all of them were happy to be together as one of the things that had been the hardest was separating the crew in little groups and only after struggling in many ways being able to reunite. The feeling of happiness because everyone was safe was almost palpable and the usual antics that happened at the Sunny began occurring once again the moment they stepped inside the ship that contained all their dreams.
The anxiousness he had felt ever since finding out about his marriage and that hadn’t stopped not even after running away from Big Mom’s territory had dissipated instantly after winning and knowing that everyone was fine and healthy enough to not spent their whole lives at a hospital. Only some bruises and broken bones were the most terrible things that had cost them, but other than that nothing serious had really befallen. Of course the whole world wanted to catch a piece of them after dealing the final blow to one of the four emperors, but for the time being they were only recuperating so they could keep going their way and achieve what they had desired for such a long time.
Luckily enough for him he had recuperated faster than usual and didn’t have anything worrisome that Chopper would have to watch over for too long or with too much detail. The same couldn’t be said about Luffy and Zoro that had fought to almost death against their opponents, but had emerged victorious after all. The rest were in similar state to him and the only one that was still sleeping to get better was the captain.
The cook knew the younger man was going to wake up that day or tomorrow, so that relieved him a lot. For some reason he felt the necessity of going to see how Luffy was doing even if he was confident in that Chopper was taking care of the captain just fine and didn’t need any help. He went to the sick bay where the doctor preferred to attend his patients and where Luffy was sleeping and resting without noticing it at least every three hours to see if the black haired man had woken up. Whenever someone (specially the doctor) asked why he had come to visit the captain he would answer that he needed to be prepared for the moment Luffy was awake since given how he was he would demand food immediately and it would be tiresome to be cooking with the guy annoying him to get it ready. While it wasn’t a lie, he also knew that it wasn’t exactly that the reason why he went to look for Luffy. It wasn’t that he was worried either, for he trusted Chopper as a doctor and crewmate with his life, but the thought of not having the captain around him for too long was unbearable in a way. It was boring to not listen or see the usually funny yet disastrous things he would say or do even if he didn’t like to admit it; however the strange sensation that it wasn’t only that what he missed about Luffy was disquieting.
Since Chopper was probably the nicest person in the world he told him that when Luffy would wake up the cook would be the first one to know. He had thanked him, but that hadn’t stopped him from visiting him anyways. He didn’t care if the crew gave him weird looks as if they were lost as to why he would go so much to the sick bay, even if he went directly through the dining room. He guessed Chopper had told the others that he was really worried or something, but he felt he was just being a good friend and was maybe more impatient that the rest so he wasn’t particularly bothered by their attitude towards him.
It was the afternoon and they had nothing to do and as he had done the days before he went to see Luffy in hopes the guy would wake up. When he got to where Chopper was, he saw as the captain slept profoundly and it made him want to rest too. While he indeed wished to see the man awake and just loitering around the Sunny he also really liked to see him sleeping without a care in the world. Sanji smiled inwardly thinking about the things the man could be dreaming and he kept looking at him for some time. When he was ready to go though, he saw as Luffy started making gestures with his face and it seemed he was either having a nightmare, was in pain or, better for everyone, was about to wake up.
He called Chopper to come closer and the doctor that was resting on his chair got at his side rapidly. He told him that it seemed Luffy was finally waking up and they both waited for the man to open his eyes. It took some time but he put a hand to rub his eyes and after that he opened them widely and looked everywhere seemingly unsure as to where he was. When he saw them he smiled his usual grin and asked them where they were. Chopper told him that they were in the Sunny safe and that he had been sleeping for four consecutive days. Then Luffy looked surprised and said that he had missed 16 meals as his stomach sounded with clear signs of hunger. He got up in a seating position and stared at Sanji intently to later demand meat in a really loud voice.
Sanji smiled and calmed him down by telling him that he needed to wait a little but not much. The captain smiled back hugely and the cook felt breathless. He left the sick bay to go to the kitchen through the dining room and breathed heavily as his heart beat inside him as if he had run for a long time. He supposed he was too happy to see the man on his feet again, so he didn’t think too hard on it. Instead, he took the meat out of the fridge and started cooking it with haste, but careful to prepare it well. Normally, he would put some vegetables here and there so the man wouldn’t have any vitamin deficit even if Luffy didn’t like them, but this time he didn’t collocate any since it was his own hidden way of congratulating him for winning against that monster.
Once everything was ready he called for the captain to come to the dining room. The guy appeared almost a second later, but the doctor wasn’t done examining him. As Luffy cared a lot more about his food than his own wellbeing Chopper had to check him as he waited for his meat not in the infirmary as he would have desired. He got things ready and put the plate in the table, and before he blinked the meat was almost gone. He was glad to see the man eating so content and for some reason his heart beat strongly again. He also felt butterflies in his stomach and was completely distracted for a moment until Chopper asked him to tell the crew that Luffy had woken up. He nodded and went out to look for anyone to inform them that the captain was up already. He found Usopp and he told him that Luffy was awake and eating. The sniper was about to get in the dining room, but he stopped him since he needed him to tell the rest. Usopp said that he could be the one to voice that to the others and was making his way to get inside again, but Sanji halted him telling him that it couldn’t be him since he was going to be busy cooking probably for the whole day. The younger man seemed to think that it was true and then left screaming that Luffy had woken up.
He got back again and found Luffy in the dining room that was next to the kitchen shouting loudly for more food and Chopper resting in another chair completely outworn by the whirlwind of energy that was the captain. He assumed the guy was fine since otherwise the doctor would still be tending to his wounds. The cook shut Luffy up and told him to wait a little. The man smiled at him and thanked him for the delicious food. He went to the oven and started frying more meat as he tried to focus more on the actual food than his seemingly startled heart and the butterflies that still remained wreaking havoc on his stomach.
Not long passed before he heard the whole crew entering the dining room to accompany Luffy. The man shouted a loud hi to greet them and they contested back but not as strongly as him since they were generally normal people. They all asked how he was and he said he was more than fine with all the meat he would be eating.
When he was done cooking the second round of food he put it on Luffy’s plate quickly so the man would stop making a ruckus for not eating. Then he was back again eating like a beast that hadn’t tasted food for days, which was probably the case anyways. Sanji went back to the oven to prepare more meat fully knowing he would be cooking for quite a long time.
Some time passed and usually the vast majority of the crew would have already left tired of seeing the captain eating with no restrain, but it seemed everyone missed Luffy in their own ways. All of them remained for so long that they preferred to stay and wait for dinner at the dining room since there was no point in going out to come back again. Sanji had to prepare the dishes for everyone so he stopped cooking Luffy’s meat for a while, even if the guy got annoyed. When he was ready he placed the food for everyone including himself on the table and they started eating.
As the crew ate contently, Sanji kept looking at the dish that was in front of him, not feeling quite hungry. He took his fork and started pushing the vegetables aside from the meat. That lasted for some time until Nami asked why he wasn’t eating. Since he didn’t know the reason either he just said that he wasn’t hungry at the moment. Everyone stopped eating and looked at him because he never declared things like that. It was a known fact that the cook always took care of food very strongly and that for him there wasn’t anything like “no time to eat” or “not hungry enough to eat”, so they were baffled by what he said. He knew he was being weird and that even Luffy had stopped eating, so to not keep all eyes on him he ate a piece of meat and then everyone resumed eating.
For the first time since he had woken up, Luffy said that he was satisfied when the rest were done eating too. He knew he would spend a long while washing the dishes but didn’t ask anyone for help since he preferred to be alone. For some reason he wasn’t feeling too good even if he had felt so happy after Luffy had woken up. It probably had to do with the fact that his heart wouldn’t stop beating madly at some points, but he wasn’t sure when exactly that happened.
He was starting to retire the dishes while the crew was standing up of the table to get out to the deck when Nami told Zoro to wash the dishes. The swordsman made a grimace instantly and protested right away, but the woman shut him up and insisted on that he would have to wash the crockery since he had been sleeping all day when he was already fine. Sanji told the navigator that he could do it his own and the ones that haven’t gotten out of the kitchen were perplexed because he would never contradict something Nami said, let alone not make Zoro work out of all people.
Nami looked at him for some time and simply said that she thought he was too tired and that he should rest. He didn’t feel really worn out, just different, so he told Nami that it was fine. Everyone was either gaping or amazed at what was transpiring: Sanji hadn’t overreacted to Nami’s rare show of niceness towards him. The orange headed woman seemed to think something and then told him that it was definite that he would be resting and that Zoro would wash the dishes. It wasn’t like Nami had any authority over any of them really, but he knew better than to fight the woman. He accepted and went out as Zoro complained.
It was already night time and the moon shone brightly over the ocean. It was a beautiful sight, but for some reason he didn’t feel like himself. It was like everything had changed, but he didn’t even know what it was that had shifted. Was it something in the environment or just himself? The atmosphere seemed to be the same as always so it was definitely him. He thought back to how he felt when Luffy had woken up and how his heart had beaten so strongly. He had been so happy at that time, but now he didn’t feel sad, just a little out of place mostly because he was confused.
He sat at the deck and lighted a cigarette. He was on his own, but he didn’t want company so he felt at ease. He spent some time in silence relaxing as the waves moved the Sunny through the seas. He closed his eyes and listened to the briny intently as if that would help him be his usual self. Somehow it seemed like everything was back to normal after a while until he heard someone coming to him.
It was Luffy who came to him with a big smile plastered on his face and just like that all the tranquility that he had been able to acquire went flying and he was back to square one. He felt as his heart beat out of rhythm and how the annoying butterflies that seemed to have made his stomach their home had returned. He wanted to be angry at the man for spoiling the calmness he had felt, but he couldn’t make the smile that formed disappear from his face.
As the captain approached him he couldn’t help but to make him a space in case he wanted to sit at his side. When he was in front of him, Luffy shook his head and Sanji understood that the man probably wished to just tell him something and then leave. He nodded at him to begin even if he knew the guy would start whenever he wanted.
“Chopper told me that you always visited me when I was sleeping. Thanks for that, Sanji!” Luffy told him straight to the point and he felt as his heart, that was already beating loudly, began beating so hard that he was afraid it would jump out of his ribcage. He also noticed that his cheeks were getting hot as if he had just blushed in front of his captain.
He was speechless, but not because he didn’t know what to respond; a simple “no problem” would suffice and yet he was unable to utter a single word. He stayed silent for some time and Luffy asked him worriedly if he was alright. He snapped out of it and reassured the man that he was okay. The guy stood there watching him and it seemed he wasn’t too convinced by his answer. He preferred to divert the attention from him to what Luffy had initially told him.
“I didn’t do anything anyways. It was Chopper who did all the work. I only went to see if you were already up so I wouldn’t have to be in a hurry while cooking the meat for you” Sanji declared in an obvious way to tranquilize the captain and that he wouldn’t press the topic further.
“It still means a lot to me. And as always, thanks for the food!” He seemed to get that Sanji didn’t want to talk more than what they had and with a smile left the cook alone to his thoughts.
His heart that had calmed down a little while they were talking, resumed its rapid frequency and he was sure he was going to get a heart attack sooner than later. He couldn’t believe that Luffy made him feel so out of breath by just talking to him. It was almost like he was in love.
He felt as a shiver ran down his spine. He tried to laugh, but nothing came out. It just couldn’t be. There was no way that was what made him feel so strange these past few days, specially when the man had woken up.
He took a deep breath to calm himself down since he was clearly freaking out. It had to be just a joke. If what he had just thought about that he was in love with Luffy then the heavens must have really hated him. He couldn’t be in love with his captain. He was a man and he didn’t like men, he liked women that were the most beautiful creatures on earth. It was all too much to accept because it was like he had trespassed some limit and he couldn’t go back to how things were between them. And while it was hard to admit to even himself it made so much sense. The restlessness, the need to see him without a real reason, his erratic heart and the butterflies were sings, if not indicators, that he definitely liked him as more than friends or captain-cook to some extent.
Sanji kept thinking about what he would do with his life from that point on. There was really no going back: he was in love with Luffy, his captain, and he didn’t have a clue on how to behave not even in front of the man in question or the crew. Would he be obvious about his feelings? Would the man find it strange about how he felt? Would he even tell him anyways? Would the rest accept it if they found out? Would the feelings lead to something? Could Luffy feel the same for him?
He had too many questions and doubts inside his head and no answer for any of them. He felt hopeless and as he saw the endless sea that had accompanied him since he was a child he wondered how he was going to be able to sleep that day with all the new information he had engraved now in his heart.