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“Shit,” Suigetsu sighs. “Fuck.”
He finds his head suddenly far too noisy, a whirlpool of thoughts and sounds he’d rather ignore. And his hands shake with a tremor he’s never known before, like the Earth itself is in a fit of unrest beneath his feet, so in tune with the wrongness taking place that it has no choice but to react.
He knows they’re watching him -- his family, the other Swordsmen, anyone who could hope to see even the briefest flash of Mangetsu’s wisdom and skill in his little brother. Second son and second best, these things never bothered Suigetsu before, because even early on he knew his worth. Second had never felt wrong when he knew the person who was a step above him.
But now that space is open. There’s an abyss out there, a Mangetsu size hole in his life so huge that Suigetsu doesn’t know if there will ever be a thing to fill it. It’s barely been a day and with every minute the truth sinks in deeper, wound tight in the silence and the knowledge that this is it. He’s barely turned twelve and already he’s all alone.
He brings both hands to his face, covering his mouth and eyes right before he screams. There aren’t words for the anguish in that sound, for all the silences in his head he’s trying to displace with such an ugly noise.
He’s gone. He’s gone. He’s gone.