Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

2:46 PM

Kaede has created the chat: Hoes, Thots and Homosexuals

Kaede has added 15 others to the chat Kaede has removed admin rights from 12 members

Kaede has changed her name to: Penist

Penist has changed 15 other nicknames

Kork Shingucci: why must you do these things?

Luminass: Number of days since last stupid incident: 0

Penist: wow, rude

wE'Re thE raTS: I vote we change Kork's and mom's nicknames to mommy and daddy

Kork Shingucci: I will tear your spin out and use it as a coat hanger.

wE'Re thE raTS: daddy uwu

wE'Re thE raTS: also-

Sherlock Homo has removed admin rights from Penist and two others

Sherlock Homo has given wE'Re thE raTS admin rights

wE'Re thE raTS has removed admin rights from Sherlock Homo

Penist: Traitor

Sherlock Homo: :'^) he took my phone I'm sorry

Kork Shingucci: oh n o

Teen Mom 2.0: what have you d o n e

Penist: look, even mom and dad are scolding you. In memes.

Luminass: c h r i s t

Maki-roll: change my nickname before Kiyo's speech becomes a reality for you, Kokichi.

wE'Re thE raTS has changed Maki-roll's nickname to ass ass sin

ass ass sin: thanks, even worse

SHSL Lesbian: why does a degenerate have all rights?

Penist: because @Sherlock Homo is a traitor

Sacrifice: Atua foretold this incident, and it will end very badly.

Spider man: Gonta no understand

wE'Re thE raTS has changed Kork Shingucci nickname to Papi

Papi: …

Avocado Toast: I don't mind this

Papi: RANTARO

Avocado Toast: ASDFGHJKL KOKICHI

wE'Re thE raTS: oop-

Papi: @Avocado Toast were you referring to your name or mine?

Avocado Toast: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Penist: gay

Avocado Toast: no u

Miutiny is online

Penist and 14 others have gone offline

Miutiny: :'^(

4:23 PM

Penist: I have a question for our anthropologist

Papi: yes?

Penist: pineapple on pizza, yay or nay?

Avocado Toast: don't get him started

Teen Mom 2.0: he is writing an essay what

Miutiny: the fucking creep probably thinks it does, smh

Papi: from the time of my birth to the day I shall die, I will defend pineapple on pizza. It is a gift sent from the gods, a tradition amongst many cultures. It will forever be my favorite pizza topping, and if I get banned from life for saying so, I shall accept my fate. I also dip it in ranch, so.

Spider man: Gonta thinks pineapple also belong on pizza!

Penist: oh n o

wE'Re thE raTS: wow, I thought I had a bad taste in pizza, and I put bananas on mine.

wE'Re thE raTS: seems like we have two abominations

Spider man: Gonta no understand how pineapple on pizza is bad thing?

Papi: don't worry Gonta, we are the only two non-heathens

Smoogi: pineapple is gross in general, tbh

Sacrifice: Atua bless these hands that I'm about to throw at these uncultured swines.

Short Kings Anthem: I…

Short Kings Anthem: honestly, I'm not even mad at this. The song is a bop

Penist: finally, someone who likes their name.

Papi: do not change the subject.

Short Kings Anthem: pineapple belongs on anything you fuckin wanna put it on.

Papi: Ryoma, you are my favorite. It is decided.

Short Kings Anthem: I take it back, I take it-

Short Kings Anthem has gone offline

Smoogi: oh my fuckin god, he fuckin dead.

Miutiny: rip Ryoma, Kiyo killed him

Papi has gone offline

Miutiny: oh shit adjjfurndjtiejebfje

Miutiny has gone offline

Avocado Toast: babe, stop killing people

wE'Re thE raTS: that's gay

wE'Re thE raTS has changed Papi's name to kork

kork is online

kork: I have been summoned?

wE'Re thE raTS: stop killing people, that kills them.

kork: I-

kork has gone offline

ass ass sin: why do I hear screaming

Luminass: is that Kokichi-

wE'Re thE raTS: @Avocado Toast COME GET YOUR MANS

Avocado Toast: what is he doing

wE'Re thE raTS: HE'S IN THE VENTS HELP

wE'Re thE raTS: I HAVE NEVER BEEN MORE TERRIFIED

SHSL Lesbian: how does he fit in the fucking vents?

Avocado Toast: he is 143 pounds and 6'2. He is tiny, Tenko.

SHSL Girlfriend: but even Kokichi cant fit in the vents and he's small.

Short Kings Anthem is online

Short Kings Anthem: I can't even fit in the fucking vents what the fuck-

Short Kings Anthem and 13 others have gone offline

9:34 PM

Teen Mom 2.0: One, Korekiyo, don't ever do that again, I have never seen Kokichi this shaken up before. Two, I have made the mistake of making too many cookies and require assistance to get rid of them.

wE'Re thE raTS: on my way mom أ‿أ

Sherlock Homo: I'm omw

Toaster Oven: I don't understand. I am not a toaster oven.

Miutiny: Kiibo, it's nothing you should worry about.

Toaster Oven: ah, I see, is it one of Kaede's memes?

Miutiny: yeah let's say that-

kork: I am very sorry. I don't know what came over me to do such a thing to poor Kokichi.

wE'Re thE raTS: (ಥ﹏ಥ)

kork: I will make it up to you. Lunch sound alright?

wE'Re thE raTS: can we go to the sandwich shop that we always put our selves in a coma afterward?

kork: always.

wE'Re thE raTS: ( ˘ ³˘)

kork: (.づ◡﹏◡)づ

Avocado Toast: Kokichi what did you teach h i m

wE'Re thE raTS: uwu

Chapter Text

Hos, Thots, and Homosexuals

1:46 AM

wE'Re thE raTs has changed his nickname to Homosexual

Homosexual has changed Miutiny's nickname to Ho

Homosexual has changed Sacrifice's nickname to Thot

Homosexual has given admin rights to Thot and Ho

Homosexual: let the fun b e g i n

7:21 AM

Penist: just so you know, this is Shuichi's fault.

Sherlock Homo: Is not

Penist: is too

Sherlock Homo: Who created the gc?

Penist: Touche.

Sherlock Homo: :^)

Ho and 2 others are online

Homosexual: we gotta live up to the chat name, y'all. And what better way to do that than giving the three chaotic evils admin right?

kork: @Teen Mom 2.0 they're out of hand.

Teen Mom 2.0: seems they are. 

kork and Teen Mom 2.0 have gone offline

Ho: Kokichi, when we die, this is your fault. But also

Ho: mommyanddaddy.gif

Thot: Atua whats to know where you acquire such photos.

Ho: Tsumugi's Tumblr, lmao

Homosexual has changed Teen Mom 2.0's name to Spider Mommy

Homosexual has changed kork's name to Rope Daddy

Short King's Anthem: you are digging a hole big enough to fit all of Russia.

Thot has changed Short King's Anthem's name to Stoned Uncle

Ho has changed Spider man's name to Bug Uncle

Thot has changed SHSL Lesbian's name to Gay Aunt

Ho has changed SHSL Girlfriend's name to Wine Aunt

Wine Aunt: Nyeh, why am I the wine aunt?

Ho: because you're bi, not gay, lmao

Wine Aunt: that's fair.

Spider Mommy and Rope Daddy are online

Spider Mommy: Guess who losses cookie privileges for two weeks.

Rope Daddy: @Ho @Thot @Homosexual

Ho: I see what you did there

3:56 PM

Homosexual: Miu, why is there a 40-foot Furby coming out of dad's lab?

Ho: don't worry about it

Thot: he took Atua's cookie privileges. He must know what fear looks like head-on.

Ho: I made him look like Lord Farquad.

Thot:  lordfarquadfurby.jpeg

luminass: that is absolutely terrifying.

ass ass sin: I will burn it if I see it irl

Ho: him*

ass ass sin: I will burn HIM if I see HIM irl.

Rope Daddy is online

Rope Daddy: TWO MONTHS

Ho: I'll live lmao

Rope Daddy: YOU HAVE TWO MONTHS TO LIVE. THE FURBY IS FACING THE WRATH OF MY FUCKING KATANA YOU HEATHENS

Thot: Atua is displeased. It is you who has two months to live. 

Rope Daddy: you fool. you absolute buffoon. you see, I do not fear death. death fears me. 

Avocado Toast: aight edge lord.

Toaster Oven: and I thought Shuichi was emo, dear lord.

Sherlock Homo: I AM NOT EMO

Penist: ok mister listening to nothing but MCR and bvb in his room until 3 in the morning, crying about how you can't do eyeliner as well as Mondo and Kiyo.

Sherlock Homo:  ok but have you seen the way they do eyeliner, teach me your ways, dad.

Smoogi: just ask Souda, I'm sure he could help you out.

Penist: ew, please don't ask Souda

Ho: what's wrong with Souda?

Penist: he's a lil creepy

Bug Uncle: Gonta like Souda! He is very good at helping me catch butterflies! 

luminass: nah, Sonia's just a bitch, tbh.

luminass: Souda and Hiro are great.

Homosexual: yeah, because the three of you share one brain cell and none of you can find it.

luminass: >:V rude

ass ass sin: where's the lie tho-

ass ass sin and luminass are offline

Ho: ooooooooo shiiiiit

Chapter Text

2:47 AM

Rope Daddy: Ramen sounds good right now.

Spider Mommy: Why? Why are you awake?

Rope Daddy: I've slept 3 hours in the past 5 days. I've had "We Are Number 1" on loop in my room. I've read my notes 7 times over in the course of an hour. I have not eaten for almost eight hours. I require sustenance before my skin starts to fall off my rib cage even more than it is. 

Spider Mommy: Shirmp?

Rope Daddy: S P I C E Y

Spider Mommy: Chicken it is.

Rope Daddy: rude

3:24 AM

Rope Daddy: Isn't it weird that pregnancy is literally growing a new set of bones and meat, and then disposing of it the wrong way, and then having to grow the bones for another 18-20 years and then be in debt for the rest of your life?

Rope Daddy: And the fact that babies don't have fucking knee caps until 10-12 years old. 

Rope Daddy: AND the fact that you die with fewer bones than when you're born.

Rope Daddy: who the fuck is playing 5sos right now?

ass ass sin: me, bitch

Rope Daddy: 👀 

Rope Daddy: and y'all call me edgy 👀

ass ass sin: Nah, I was just trying to drown out Robby Rotten on loop

Rope Daddy:  Heathan

ass ass sin: caught me red-handed, ho

Penist: Go. The. FUCK. TO. SLEEP.

Rope Daddy: I wish I could, Kaegay

Penist: 🌈🌈🌈🌈

7:18 AM

Sherlock Homo: What in the fuck, Kiyo?

Chapter Text

2:23 PM

Spider Mommy: dinner requests?

Homosexual: the souls of the innocent

Ho: a bagel

Homosexual:  N O

Thot: two bagels

Thot: also, has anyone seen Himiko? Atua is worried for her well being

Gay Aunt: We have a slight situation.

Avocado Toast: which is?

Gay Aunt: Ryoma and Himiko's antidepressants and anxiety meds got switched somehow and now both of them are freaking out.

Avocado Toast: oh boy

Stoner Uncle: I took fucking Xanax, and now idk where I am.

Stoner Uncle: but i'm goona take a long fucking nap on this concrete

Spider Mommy: what is the scenery like where you are, Ryoma?

Stoner Uncle: uhh, there's a great selection of roses and pansies, i think, and a big, bulky statue of our ass face principal that makes him look like fucking Hercules. 

Stoner Uncle: or maybe it's a lion statue

Stoner Uncle: im gonna pass out, im tired, l8r

Stoner Uncle is Offline

Avocado Toast: he's at the gardens next to Kuma's office. I can see him through the cafeteria window.

Spider Mommy: @Bug Uncle meet me at the dorms in 5 minutes, please.

Bug Uncle is Online

Bug Uncle: But Gonta already at dorms, Kirumi

Spider Mommy: perfect, I'll be down in a few seconds.

Bug Uncle: Gonta confused, why is Ryoma taking medication?

Avocado Toast: Ryoma has depression, Himiko has high anxiety levels, along with ADHD, they take these medications to help them with their symptoms. 

Bug Uncle: Gonta thanks Rantaro! Gonta understands now!

Ho: we don't deserve Gonta

Bug Uncle: :^D

Bug Uncle and 6 Others are Offline

5:04 PM

Wine Aunt: Hunger has dawned onto me

Wine Aunt: Mom, what's for dinner

Spider Mommy is Online

Spider Mommy: Shrimp Fried Rice with homemade sushi and dessert is Kiyo's act, tonight. He says it will please both you and Ryoma for your long day.

Wine Aunt: nyeh, my tummy is grumbling just thinking about it

Spider Mommy and 1 Other is Offline

Private Conversation: Korekiyo and Rantaro

E-Boy: Hey Kiyo?

Goth BF: Yes, my love?

E-Boy: What do you think about going to dinner on Friday?

Goth BF: Don't you work on Friday?

E-Boy: Miu switched shifts with me, so I work on Saturday, now.

Goth BF: I would love to

E-Boy: Also, whatever you're making smells absolutely delicious.

Goth BF: Thank you, love

E-Boy: welcome babe 😘

Chapter Text

Rantaro stares at his reflection. He picked at the sweater hugging his torso. It was his favorite sweater for many reasons. One, Kiyo got it for him while in England, and two, it was the only sweater he had, making it the perfect date-night shirt. The light blue fabric hung to his body in all the right places. He looked over at his phone, checking the time that read 5:51. 

5:51 PM

E-Boy: Almost ready, love?

Goth BF: Almost, I just need to find my thin mask and I'll be ready.

E-Boy: Ok. I'm gonna head up now <3

Goth BF: Ok <3

Rantaro slid his phone into his pocket and walked out of his bathroom, overlooking the mess that was his bedroom. He grabbed the keys that laid quiet on the nightstand table and hooked them onto the belt loop of his jeans. He made his way to the door and locked it behind him.

It was colder in the hallway, the AC blowing down on them. He shoved his hands into his pocket and made his way to the faux marble stairs that lead up to the second story dorms. He walked down the long hallway until he eventually ended up at his boyfriend's door, the plaque reading "Ultimate Anthropologist" In bold lettering. He knocked gently on the door and heard footsteps on the other side. After a moment, the tall boy opened his dorm door, hair pinned back, mask off his rosy mouth. He smiled gently and motioned for Rantaro to come in.

The taller boys' room was cleaner than Rantaros, except for his desk, piled high with papers and thick books. Rantaro stood near his desk, looking over the endless writing and scratches Kiyo had made on the notebooks. 

"You never can catch a break, huh?" Rantaro says, looking over at Kiyo, who was brushing his long and dark locks, static following suit. 

"I try to when I can. Like tonight. My first break in almost a month," Kiyo says, smoothing down his fly aways, sighing silently. 

"You know you can always do this in my room, too? Our subjects kinda go hand in hand, plus, my term paper is about one of my favorite traveling spots rich in culture," Rantaro says, walking over to Kiyo, placing a light hand on his shoulder. Kiyo's pale eyes fluttered up to meet his in the mirror, a gentle blush creeping his cheeks. He looked almost angelic. He went gentle with hi makeup tonight, giving him an adolescent glow, but his eyes shot daggers in every direction. 

"I know I can, it's just a bitch to carry everything," Kiyo says with his head cocked to the right, eyes locked on Rantaros, the corners of his mouth tugged upward in a teasing manner. Rantaro rolled his eyes and walked over to Kiyo's bed and sat down, eyes wandering. 

The taller boy stood up, arms reaching over his head stretching, his shirt now reveling the hem of his boxers reading "Fcuk Off" in bright yellow text. Rantaro snorted at them and looked away to the window. He heard the zip of Kiyo's boots and the clunky thunk of the heel on the floor. 

"Should I bring keys? Should I even locked the door," Kiyo questioned himself, and then decided to hook his keychain on his fraying beltloop. He walked to Rantaro, gripping his hand, and pulled him up, kissing his nose in the process. They walked hand in hand to the door, and Kiyo locked it behind him. Just as the started walking down the hallway, their phones started buzzing simultaneously, giving them the clue that it was the group chat. 

"Should we text back or mute it until we come back?" Rantaro asks, already reaching for his phone.

"Mute them," Kiyo says, shooting daggers at the device in the smaller boy's hand. They both look at the chat before muting the conversation entirely. 

6:04 PM

Penist: Mom, do I have permission to throw myself off the balcony or do I have to wait until after term?

Spider Mommy: Are you ok, Kaede?

Penist: I have three papers to write this weekend about pianos and music and I'm debating on writing the same paper thrice, or bullshitng two.

Sherlock Homo:  ME

Spider Mommy: I can assist you in writing your papers. 

Penist: Mom, they have to be three pages, single-spaced, 12 point font, and be turned in my 7 AM Monday, yes, please.

Rope Daddy: RIP, also, Rantaro and I will be back around 10, please don't burn the dorms down.

Rope Daddy has muted the chat for 4 hours. 

Avocado Toast has muted the chat for 4 hours.

They bother stuck their phones into their pockets and walked down the stairs at a fast pace as to not be seen leaving. They shut the dorm doors quietly and stepped into the cool air, their breath thick clouds. Rantaro pulled Kiyo toward the east side of the parking lot, Kiyo's jewelry swinging every which way, making clanking sounds against each other. When they approached Rantaros car, Kiyo reached into his pocket, pulling out his lighter and a cigarette, lighting it with his free hand.

Rantaro unlocked the passenger side door, opening it for the taller one, who smiled and blew smoke into Rantaros face in response. He shut the door and walked over to the driver's side door, and got in buckling himself, then sticking the key into the ignition. He looked over at his boy and leaned over to kiss his cheek in the same motion of putting the car in reverse. 

Before they even left the parking lot, the car was already smoked up and hazy, making Rantaro's head spin without even taking a hit. Kiyo's unoccupied hand found it's way to Rantaro's thigh like it always did when he was the one driving. Kiyo's thumb swayed back and forth on the bare skin his jeans revealed, sending chills up his spine. Kiyo always knew what made him tick. 

The place they were going was a good 20-minute drive from campus, and by the time they arrived Kiyo had three cigs. Both of them were giggling messes, but that wasn't anything new. Kiyo would laugh at something stupid, and Rantaro would laugh because Kiyo's laugh makes you feel intoxicated with happiness, and Kiyo would then proceed to laugh because Rantaros laugh made Kiyo laugh, and the cycle would keep going until Kiyo felt tears threatening to spill. 

As Kiyo shuts his door, Rantaro looks at him and rushes to grab Kiyo's hand, gripping it tightly, the pungent smell of cigarettes still lingering between them. They walked up to the restaurant, greeting the host's familiar face. He leads the couple to the back of the dimly lit room, setting the silverware and menus. The host set a small container, mainly made of glass, on the table in front of the taller boy, and turned to walk away, shutting the curtains behind him. 

"I don't understand how you got them to let you smoke in here," Rantaro spoke softly, looking at Kiyo fumble with his mask. 

"I have my ways," Kiyo said, almost in a whisper. Rantaro eyed him for a moment, before a lady pulled back the curtain, and stepped in. 

(Time skip because I ran out of ideas for this, oop-)

The streets were blooming in life, color, noise. Kiyo held Rantaro close and made sure to keep his ringer on in case they did get separated. People looking in awe of the flashing lights and music echoing off the tall buildings. Rantaro pulled Kiyo in a direction, and they ran to a small shop that wasn't crowded. They walked in and the smell of sugar was pungent. Kiyo's free hand adjusted his mask to mute the smell a little, while Rantaro looked like a little kid. They walked up to the counter and a bored-looking girl walked over, smiling as her life depended on it. 

"What can I get ya?" She asks, putting new gloves on.

"I'll do Chocolate Mint," Rantaro said, Kiyo smiling invisibly. 

"And I will have Monster Cookie Dough," Kiyo said, pulling his mask down under his chin. 

"Coming right up!" She says now more enthusiastic, quickly getting to work.

Walking out of the shop, now eating the melt in your mouth ice cream. They link arms and start for Rantaros car, listening to the nightlife, watching young couples like them enjoying themselves, old couples admiring everything. At this moment, peace was over everyone. With the car in sight, Kiyo turned to Rantaro and kissed him, smiling as he pulls away. 

(Another time skip because I need to get this chapter up, I've been working on it for 4 weeks now)

The dorm hall was too quiet when the pair of boys walked in. The only noise was the clanking of Kiyo's boots on the tile floor. They both pulled out their phones, opening the chat.

11:23 PM

Rope Daddy and Avocado Toast have unmuted the chat!

Penist: Welcome back! As of today, Kokichi, Miu and Angie are now and forever banned from the kitchen! Also, the Furby is back!

Avocado Toast: I'm,,, what did we miss?

Rope Daddy:  I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU NOT TO BURN THE DORMS DOWN, I SWEAR TO GOD

Avocado Toast: well, RIP Kokichi Miu and Angie.

Chapter Text

7:02 AM

Penist: YOU GUYS

Penist: I SLEPT IN AND NOW I CAN'T FIND ANY CLEAN CLOTHES

Penist: MY FIRST FINAL IS IN 10 MINUTES, MOM, DAD, H E L P

Spider Mommy: Look outside your door, sweetheart.

Penist: OH MY GOD, YOU'RE A LIFESAVER

Spider Mommy: Good luck to everyone who has morning finals! 

Rope Daddy: thank you, mom (ಥ﹏ಥ)

Sherlock Homo: Are mom and I the only ones who don't have morning finals?

Penist, Rope Daddy and 12 others have gone offline

Sherlock Homo: I'll take that as a yes.

11:24 AM

Stoner Uncle: I just had to write a five-page essay on how to play t e n n i s

Stoner Uncle: I had to BS most of it, Jesus praise be to Atua.

Thot:  I have been summoned

Stoner Uncle has gone Offline

Thot: ok, fine, I'll just go on a break on my own

Stoner Uncle is Online

Stoner Uncle:  Don't you fucking dare, I'm on my way.

Thot: >;^3

2:16 PM

Smoogi: Hey Google, how do you uninstall a needle from your arm without blood going everywhere?

Penist: WHAT?!

Smoogi: I have three sewing needles in my arm.

Penist: Mom???

Spider Mommy: Tsumugi, would you like me to escort you to Mikan?

Smoogi: Yes please, mom

Spider Mommy: omw

4:56 PM

Rope Daddy: mom

Rope Daddy: why is there a boiling pot of vinegar on the stove with a single leaf inside?

Spider Mommy: s h i t

Spider Mommy: uh, Kiyo, could you, uh, throw it out the window?

Rope Daddy: were you doing one of my seances?

Spider Mommy: no-

Spider Mommy has gone Offline

Rope Daddy: fuck-

Rope Daddy has gone Offline

Avocado Toast: uhh, should we be worried about that?

Toaster Oven: Perhaps. But we should wait it out and see.

Toaster Oven: OR WE SHOULD GO CHECK OUT WHAT THE FUCK THAT EXPLOSION WAS ABOUT-

Avocado Toast: good idea-

7:37 PM

Rope Daddy: My mother has informed me that my sister will be in town tomorrow.

Sherlock Homo: ew

Homosexual: ew

Ho: ew

Thot: ew

Smoogi: ew

Wine Aunt: ew

Gay Aunt: ew

Penist: ew

Soner Uncle: ew

Avocado Toast: ew

ass ass sin: ew

Luminass:  ew

Toaster Oven: ???

Bug Uncle: Confused??

Spider Mommy: e fucking w

Rope Daddy: I'm glad we are all on the same page

Rope Daddy: anyways, she isn't allowed on campus, so as long as I am in my dorm with everything locked and like, all of you with me, I'll be good. 

Luminass: We should probs tell Kuma, right?

Spider Mommy: done and done.

Rope Daddy: thank youuu

Spider Mommy: :)

Chapter Text

Hos, Thots, and Homosexuals

2:58 PM

Homosexual Has Changed 15 Other Chat Names

Homosexual Has Changed His Name to Betrayal

Betrayal Has Given 2 Members Admin Rights

S&M by Rihanna Has Taken Admin Rights From 3 Members

S&M by Rihanna: Now that order has been redeemed.

S&M by Rihanna: The Monos wants us in the gym for an announcement.

Betrayal: I feel betrayed. 

Betrayal: Shu, how could you (ಥ﹏ಥ)

BiBi Bitch: I was blackmailed, I'm s o r r y 

BiBi Bitch: K O R E K I Y O W H A T I S T H I S S L A N D E R

Kaegay: haha, you got roasted.

Kaegay: E X C U S E M E

S&M by Rihanna: haha, gottem

Guns n Roses: I hate all of you

Guns n Roses: Except you Gonta, we're all glad you're here

Is Failing Physics: Ok, lookie here, buddy, you're failing western history

S&M by Rihanna: Kaito, you're an Astronut, you shouldn't be failing physics. I'm allowed to be failing Western History because that's not the only subculture I s t u d y

Guacamole: KOREKIYO SHINGUJI, YOU'RE FAILING WESTERN H I S T O R Y?!

S&M by Rihanna: haha, I'm in danger

S&M by Rihanna has Gone Offline

JJBA: RIP dad

JJBA: HEY

Tired and Stressed: Gym, now.

Tired and Stressed and 7 Others Have Gone Offline

5:35 PM

Guacamole: uh, we have a panicking mom and dad on our hands.

JJBA: why?!?

Guacamole: We were taking a walk, and then we heard Monosuke n Monodam talking about Monokuma ordering a giant soup pot for an event next week, along with some thorny rose vines to decorate the cafeteria and then all of a sudden the stop in their tracks and hyperventilate. 

Guacamole: oh, now they're running to the gardens. Great. It's not like I have allergies or anything. 

BIBI Bitch: Kiibs n I are on our way

Guacamole: :) thank you

Furby Fetish: can I get an f in the chat for mom n dad

Bible Study: f

Aikido rit on ur dic: f

Sleeping Spell: f

Kermit die: f

Betrayal: f

JJBA: f

tink tink: f

Guns n Roses: f

Is Failing Physics: f

Kaegay: f

Guacamole: f

BIBI Bitch: f

Honey Bee: f! :D

Kermit die: I  have a will to live, now

Honey Bee: :D

Guacamole: hey maaaaaaaaki?

Guns n Roses: I'm not assassinating Monokuma.

Guacamole: d a m n

BIBI Bitch: we somehow got them to take a nap, they're both in Rantaro's dorm so he can watch them. Kiibo n I are gonna go get pizza or sumthin for dinner since they're outta commission.

Kaegay: I have money I can pitch in!

Is Failing Physics: so do I!

BIBI Bitch: cool, Kaede or Maki, can you drive since y'all are the only other responsible ones?

Kermit die:  perish

Kaegay: I can!

BIBI Bitch: cool, meet us in the commons.

BIBI Bitch and 3 others are offline

7:02 PM

Guacamole: uhh, I went to the bathroom and when I came out, both Kork n Kirumi were gone, uhh, has anyone seen them?

tink tink: oh boy.

BIBI Bitch:  they're on the r u n

S&M by Rihanna: they're on to us @Stressed and Tired

Stressed and Tired:  r u n

Stressed and Tired and S&M by Rihanna Have Gone Offline

Kermit die: WHO THE FUCK IS IN THE VENTS

Betrayal: not again.

Is Failing Physics: WHY IS KOREKIYO CRAWLING OUT OF THE VENT IN MY ROOM, WHAT THE FUCK?! 

Guns n Roses: WHY DID THEY CHOOSE MINE AND KAITOS ROOMS TO CRAWL INTO WHAT THE FUCK

tink tink: I'll come get Kirumi,,,

Guacamole: I'll get kork

BIBI Bitch: Jesus be to Atua, why is it always the fuckin vents.

Bible Study: Atua likes the vents! It gives him a chance to challenge his phobias!

BIBI Bitch: are you telling me that your god is claustrophobic?

Bible Study: You are correct!

Bible Study:  It's also a great place to leave a smoke bomb when Atua needs entertainment.

Kermit die: who is playing King's Dead

Is Failing Physics: idk, why don't you ask the fucking cryptids we refer to as mom n dad

BIBI Bitch: What the fuck is happening

tink tink: we lost them.

BIBI Bitch: asdfghjkl, wdym you l o s t them?

BIBI Bitch: Kiyo is literally six feet and two inches tall, wtf do you mean you fucking l o s t them.

tink tink: you do realize you're talking about the same man who can fit into the fucking vents and probably eat a horse and lose weight, right?

Furby Fetish: guys, Kiyo is a man-sized worm on a string. 

Kermit die:  perish, thot

Honey Bee: But Korekiyo is not a worm or on a string?

Furby Fetish: wormyboi.png

Honey Bee: D:

Furby Fetish: Well, I'm gonna die. Kaede, you're an angle and mean the absolute worhdhpjkiw

Furby Fetish and Kermit die are Offline

JJBA: rip Miu.

Kaegay: （πーπ）rip my gf

BIBI Bitch: OK, NOW MURDER ON MY MND IS PLAYING, ARE WE GONNA DIE

tink tink: THEY'RE CHASING ME SINGING ALONG OH GOD

tink tink Has Gone Offline

BIBI Bitch: rip Kiibo, @Guacamole stop laughing and come help me round them up

Guacamole: >:^3

Guacamole has Gone Offline

BIBI Bitch: oh shit

BIBI Bitch: THEY'RE WORKING TOGETHER, I NEED BACK UP

Guns n Roses: I'm gonna fuckin snip their asses, be right there

Guns n Roses has Gone Offline

BIBI Bitch: oh boy..

BIBI Bitch and 6 Others Have Gone Offline

9:25 PM

Sleeping Spell: I can't belive mom and dad got detention.

tink tink: ╥﹏╥ I'm terrified.

Betrayal: I can't belive it isnt me, Miu or Angie this time, what a time to be alive

S&M by Rihanna: @Bible Study what were those brownies for that were in front of my door?

Bible Study:  oh shit

S&M by Rihanna: Mmhm, I see. 

S&M by Rihanna has Gone Offline

Bible Study: welp, guess I get to see Atua for realsies!

Bible Study has Gone Offline

JJBA: Kiyo, plz don't kill my babe

Stresses and Tired: goddamn it. 

Chapter Text

12:04 AM

BIBI Bitch: who is that.

BIBI Bitch:  who the fuck is playing goddamn Hatsune Miku right now in my goddamn household under my goddamn laws in my goddamn Christan Minecraft SERVER

Bible Study: who the fuck made you mom?

BIBI Bitch: Mom made me mom so she could take a break from y'all.

Bible Study: fake news, we still have a dad.

S&M by Rihanna: False, I'm now baby.

Bible Study:  f u c k

BIBI Bitch: language, Angie, Atua is watching.

Bible Study: WRONG Atua is sleeping.

Bible Study: Therefore I could potentially kill all of you and still be greeted to his heavenly sleep when my time has come.

Bible Study: But, I couldn't kill anyone without Atua's help, therefore, I will refrain from committing such a crime. 

Tired and Stressed: Shuichi

BIBI Bitch and Bible Study have gone offline

Tired and Stressed: :^)

7:54 AM

Kaegay: WHAT

Kaegay: YOU MADE SHUICHI MOM AND NOT ME?

Kaegay: I'm wounded :'(

Tired and Stressed: I would've made Maki mom before I made you mom,

Guns n Roses: hA

Kaegay: :'( ouchies

BIBI Bitch: :^) I have Kirumi AND Kork approval 

Kaegay:  Bitch

BIBI Bitch: Ouchies

S&M by Rihanna:  get to class

BIBI Bitch and three others have gone offline

12:25 PM

BIBI Bitch: before any of you get mad at me

BIBI Bitch: It was Kirigiri and Naegi's fault. 

BIBI Bitch: now that's out of the way, uhh, afternoon classes are canceled, and my uncle wants to meet y'all.

Is Failing Physics: WHY ARE HAKAKURE AND SOUDA CHASING ME THROUGH THE SCHOOL HELP I'M SCARED

Guns n Roses:  you've had the brain cell for too long.

Guns n Roses: order must be redeemed.

Is Failing Physics: MAKI ROLL, HOW COULD YOU

Guns n Roses:  >:^)

2:48 PM

BIBI Bitch: so, uhh, :^) big creepy sissy just got thrown down the stairs by Celestia, and Mikan tripped here in the way down so she flew down the sidewalk :^). I'm so confused why those two did that, but uhh, honestly valid?

JJBA: I think Kiyo, Mikan, and Celeste made a pack or something so if one of them gets hurt or is in danger the other two are on the case.

JJBA: And quite frankly, they are a terrifying trio. 

BIBI Bitch:  interesting

JJBA: They call their group the 'trial three trio' which makes no sense but feels right?

BIBI Bitch: THEY HAVE SPOTTED ME AND ARE NOW CHASING ME

BIBI Bitch: KIYO, I THOUGHT YOU LEARNED YOUR LESSON

BIBI Bitch: also, can I get admin privileges?

Tired and Stressed has given BIBI Bitch admin privileges

BIBI Bitch has changed S&M by Rihanna's name to Daddy Longlegs

BIBI Bitch: Much better.

4:55 PM

BIBI Bitch: My uncle is here, be ready please :^)

Tired and Stressed: Good timing, I just pulled out the pie.

BIBI Bitch: Kirumi Tojo.

BIBI Bitch: You told me Teruteru was making our dinner. 

Tired and Stressed: oop-

BIBI Bitch: disappointed but not surprised.

Tired and Stressed: ouchies, is that what that's like?

BIBI Bitch: :^)

8:02 PM

Betrayed: Shu

Betrayed: Can your uncle like, adopt me?

BIBI Bitch: He was on the verge of adopting all y'all. Also, that would then be considered inc*st.

Betrayed: Not if I'm married into your family >:)

BIBI Bitch: Touche.

Furby Fetish: Your uncle praised me (இ﹏இ`｡)

tink tink: He complimented my robot outfit

Honey Bee: Gonta did not mean to scare him! 

BIBI Bitch: Don't worry, Gonta, he loves you

Honey Bee: :D

kermit die:  i have a will to live-

Chapter Text

Hello guys! I promise I and this story isn't dead, I just have very bad writers block ALL the time. Anyways! The next actual chapter is going to a big character development for three characters! as you could see, I updated the tags, and added the drug abuse to it. The next chapter will have very sensitive material in it, and, I don't think could be counted as a chat chapter since it will mostly be in a formal format because I love story telling, especially for my v3 babies! Also, I'm adding in the others to this story, too! this fic will mostly revolve around the v3 cast, but 1 and 2 will be included MORE within the story. 

Thank you guys for being so patient with me and my bipolar updating!

-Jack

Chapter Text

Chat Name: Dumb-ass mechanics

4:02 PM

robot boy: Souda

robot boy: have you seen Miu

robot boy: please, this is urgent

Cock-a-Cola: not since Saturday, no

Cock-a-Cola: why, what happened?

robot boy: She didn't come to class today and nobody's seen her past Saturday

Cock-a-Cola: I'll be on the look out, man, I hope she's OK

robot boy: thank you, me too

Chat Name: 

The Cult of Lesbians:

4:12 PM

Der Flohwalzer: Have any of you seen Miu?

Sexy Nurse: No, why?

Der Flohwalzer: She's been missing since yesterday

Flash Me: that doesn't sound good

Female Detective: Who has been notified?

Der Flohwalzer: I believe Kiibo told Souda in their weird chat WITH Miu

Der Flohwalzer: and then Korekiyo, Kirumi and Rantaro have been looking around the school and dorms since 3

Goth Gambler: I already told our collective gc

Goth Gambler: Good luck with this, I hope we find her!

Der Flohwalzer: Me too. Thanks you guys

Chat Name: Beach Bitches

4:26 PM

Pepsi: I'm not sure if any of you got texts from Kiibo or Kaede

Pepsi: Miu went missing last night, and it's highly likely shes still on the grounds. If anyone spots her, please text Kiibo or Kaede

Stronk: Understood! Thank you, Kazuichi!

Pepsi: asdfghjkl yeah-

Chat Name: Hos, Thots and Homosexuals

4:34 PM

Kermit die: any luck yet?

Kaegay: No. I can feel myself wanting to panic but I literally can't

Kermit die: that's understandable. You and Kiibo should take a break for a little while. Collect your thoughts. We have all three classes on the look out for her. Come up with a plan to leave with her. Give her a break when we find her. You and Kiibo. Please. 

tink tink: I agree. Kaede, meet me in the dorms please.

Kaegay: are you guys sure? 

Tired and Stressed: yes, very sure. There are 45 very capable ultimate students searching for her. One of us is bound to at some point. Please, take a break.

Kaegay: if anyone deserves a break it's you, Kirumi.

Tired and Stressed: I am alright. Please.

Kaegay: alright.. I'm omw Kiibs

tink tink and 3 others are offline!

6:12 PM

BIBI Bitch: KAEDE PLEASE ANSWER YOUR PHONE

BIBI Bitch: MIKAN AND IBUKI FOUND HER AND HAVE HER IN MIKAN'S LAB

Kaegay: OMW

Kaegay and BIBI Bitch went offline!

Kaede quickly stood up, surprising Kiibo, and bolted out of the door, Kiibo following close behind. The pair ran down the stairs, and out of the dormitories. Swiftly reaching the ultimate labs, they pushed in the glass doors and raced down the hallway, plaques of each student on the black and white double doors.

"Mikan is on the second floor," Kiibo said, turning towards the set of stairs that climbed to the second floor, Kaede close behind. The two slowed down to search for Mikan's name, closely examining each of the class 77 labs, until the double doors that held a red cross showed. Both could hear their hearts, pounding so hard, trying to catch their breath. Kiibo knocked lightly, and not a second later Ibuki swung open the giant doors.

"Oh good, Shuichi got a hold of you" Ibuki stepped aside, letting the two walk into the nurses lab. Immediately both smelled the thick reek of alcohol, a wave of intense worry rushing over the two. 

"Where did you find her?" Kiibo whispered quietly to Ibuki, swallowing in anticipation. Ibuki stood next to him, placing a hand on his shoulder, squeezing it softly.

"Passed out in the field behind the main school building. We had to get Nekomaru to carry her here because Mikan and I have the strength of a flea," She grinned sadly, trying to lighten the mood a bit.

"N-Neither of us h-had our phones-s, s-sorry we didn't c-call y-you p..p..personally," Mikan stuttered, tears brimming her eyes, her knuckles white gripping her clipboard. 

"Don't worry about it, love, we understand," Kaede said softly, walking towards Miu's unconscious body lying on the gurney, "you guys found her and that's all that matters."

Mikan bowed slightly and gently walked over to the IV stand. The room fell quiet, and all they heard with the slow drip of the saline. 

Chat Name: Hos, Thots and Homosexuals

6:37 PM

tink tink: thank you guys for searching. She is currently unconscious, but Mikan said she'll be alright. Ibuki said that they found her in the field behind the main school building, and all we can assume right now is that she's been out their since Sunday. When Kaede and I arrived, the room reeked of alcohol, I can't confirm or deny that it was Miu's stench or the natural smell of Mikan's lab. All we can do now is wait. 

tink tink: thank you guys again.

Tired and Stressed: Kiyo and I have talked to Kirigiri, and he has granted you, Kaede and Miu the rest of the week off. When she wakes up, please inform her that the show her and Souda are supposed to do is cancelled until next week. Please, take this time to venture off campus and lift her spirits. 

Bible Study: I shall make an extra prayer to Atua for Miu! She'll hopefully get better in no time!!

tink tink: thank you so very much. You guys are amazing

Chat name: Dumb-ass Mechanics

6:58 PM

robot boy: Thank you for informing your class, Souda, she is safe now thanks to Mikan and Ibuki. 

Cock-a-Cola: no problem, Kiibs, idk what I would do without my smarter third, if she's safe that's all that matters!

robot boy: did you just imply I'm your dumber third?

Cock-a-Cola: nah, that's me.

robot boy: also, your show is cancelled until next week, so you can stop stressing about it

Cock-a-Cola: it would've been boring without Miu, so, I'm glad

Kiibo set his phone down onto the glass table next to him and sat forward, elbows on his knees, rubbing his face. His nose didn't burn from the smell anymore, and he could feel himself grow more and more tired by the second. The room fell dark, the sun falling in the bright sky, the only sounds coming from Mikan rummaging around the room. As shy and timid as Mikan was, she was pretty incredible. She always kept herself busy, finding something to work on. Kiibo looked at Kaede, her eyes fixated on something on her phone, chewing her bottom lip.

"What are you working on?" Kiibo asked, leaning against her shoulder. Kaede jumped, then relaxed, resting her head on top of Kiibo's. 

"I'm going over some sheet notes. I rewrote a song for the piano so I could practice it, it's one of Miu's favorite," Kaede said quietly, her eyes following each line closely. Soon later, the soft snores came from Kiibo, his exhausted body falling limp against Kaede. She smiled softly, and lowered her phone to look at Miu. Her forehead was streaked with dirt and sweat, leftover makeup smeared all around. Her chest rose and fell heavily, the IV in her arm dripping slowly still. 

Ibuki entered the room, behind her followed Shuichi and Kirumi, both carrying bags filled with what the aroma that smelled like food. In that moment, Kaede's stomache churned with hunger pains, the growl echoing thought out the room. 

"We brought you guys dinner. Sorry we didn't bring it sooner, Kirumi and Kiyo insisted that all of us eat in their presence so none of us could skip," Shuichi said, walking over to Kaede setting the bag down next to her.

"The commons have been somber this evening, and Kiyo and I wanted to make sure nobody relapses their eating habits, especially regarding a certain boy detective," Kirumi said, placing her hand on Mikan's shoulder, motioning for her to take a break. Mikan hesitated for a moment, but then obliged, sitting next to Ibuki, who was shoveling rice into her mouth.

"We aren't leaving until you eat, Kae, you need it, you look famished," Shuichi said, rolling over the table in front of her. Kaede shook her shoulder, and Kiibo awoke, taking in a deep breath.

"Sorry, did I fall asleep on you?" Kiibo said, rubbing his face, waking up a little bit more.

"Don't worry about it, listening to you breathe calmed me," Kaede replied, opening to container of sliced chicken, picking up the plastic cutlery and started eating quickly.

"I see, I assume you guys are here to deliver-," Kiibo was cut off with Shuichi shoving a spoonful of rice into his mouth.

"Less talking, more eating," Shuichi said to the dumbfounded boy, grabbing another container full of stir fry and noodles.

Chat Name: Hos, Thots and Homosexuals

7:26 PM

Daddy Longlegs: how is everyone? Anyone need to turn in early? Need any help with homework?

Honey Bee: Gonta does not understand this essay for history. Gonta very confused!

Daddy Longlegs: Are you in your dorm, Gonta?

Honey Bee: Gonta in his lab, Gonta's personal laptop ins't working

Daddy Longlegs: I see, I will bring mine and see you there. 

Honey Bee: Gonta thanks Kiyo! :D

Kermit die: Gonta, you beautiful being

Tired and Stressed: food has been delivered, and both Kaede and Kiibo have eaten to their hearts content. They will be staying overnight here to help Mikan in anyway. As far as I'm aware, Kyoko has informed me that classes are cancelled for tomorrow so we can relax for a little while, but says to keep working in our labs if we wanted. Please enjoy your day off, everyone, and let me know if you need help or work done around your rooms/labs.

Akido rit on ur dic: everyone being soft makes me all gushy, Himiko, do you wanna marathon the Harry Potter movies?

Sleeping Spell:  I'm on my way

Bible Study: Could Smoogi n I join? Atua has never seen such a series

Akido rit on ur dic:  get over here 

JJBA: yay, movie night!

JJBA and 7 others have gone offline!

(Time stamp: 4:36 AM)

Miu's head spun as she opened her eyes, the room dark. She took her time looking around, taking in the environment around her. 

How long have I've been out, Miu thought to herself, her eyes adjusting to the dark room, the only light coming from the street lights through the window. She looked to her left, seeing the outlines of two people she could only think to be Kaede and Kiibo, judging by the way the soft light illuminated both's blond hair. She looked to her right and saw a dark figure standing over her, and she jumped.

"Who in the fuck-" she said quietly, before realizing the Ultimate Nurse was feeling her forehead, taking her temperature.

"You're alright, I'm not gonna hurt y-you," Mikan stuttered softly, sitting on the bed with her. "You've been o-out for aw-while, and those two haven't l-left your side," Mikan gestured over to the two on her left. Miu felt her heart fall heavy, an instant dread taking over her weak body, and soon, she found herself crying into Mikan's chest, Mikan running her hand though her hair in a way to comfort her. 

"I really.. fucked up.. Mikan," Miu whispered through choking sobs, listening to Mikan's soft hums.

"A-all that ma-matters is that you're s-safe," Mikan replied, holding Miu up by her shoulders, wiping her tears with a handkerchief from her apron.

In that, Kaede awoke, and immediately shot up and went to the bed, a wave of anxiety shot through her.

"Miu?" Kaede whispered, taking a hold of her hand, squeezing it gently.

Miu's body shook, her limbs trembling under Kaede's touch, her head spinning more with all the comforting touches. 

"I.. I," Miu stuttered, trying to find the right words to say, tears falling still. 

:Take your time, no need to rush that big, beautiful brain of yours," Kaede said, kissing Miu's head softly, caressing her cheek.

" I don't deserve you.. Any of you," Miu said, words falling heavy, her throat burning. In that instant, a harsh wave of nausea rush through her, and her face grew green. Mikan quickly grabbed the bin next to the bed, and with that, Miu threw up. The noise alerted Kiibo and Ibuki, both of them stood up quickly, Ibuki flicking on one of the lights so they could see better.

"Kaede or Kiibo, can one of you swing by the kitchens and grab that liter jug of water from the pantry?" Ibuki said, grabbing towels and a fresh hospital robe from the closet.

"I got it," Kiibo said, grabbing his phone, and walking to the doors, exiting the room.

"Kaede, can y-you h-help me stand-d her u-up," Mikan asked, standing, holding Miu up. Kaede stood as well, makng her way to the other side of the bed, assisting Mikan. Miu slowly stood up, her legs trembling underneath her as her feet hit the cold floor. Ibuki quickly stripped Miu of the throw up stained clothes Miu had on, and dressed her in the hospital gown, tying it loosely for breathing room. Mikan, still holding Miu with one arm, carefully removed the IV from her arm, bandaging the inserted point delicately. 

"I'm.. sorry," Miu said, still through sobs and hiccups, her eyes closed to keep her from getting dizzy. 

"D-don't be, nothing y-you thr-threw up wa-was bl-blood," Mikan said softly, her and Kaede lowing Miu back onto the bed. 

Kiibo walked back in, carrying the litter jug filled with water, and a bag filled with some leftovers he got from the communal fridge labeled, 'Miu's Crew'. 

"I grabbed the leftovers Kirumi and Teruteru made, I would assume Miu would be hungry, even though food probably doesn't sound appealing at the moment," Kiibo said and set the bag down next to the bed, and handed off the water to Mikan, who immediately poured it into a cup and handed it to Miu. Miu sat up, and took small sips, and soon the nausea eased, her head spinning less. 

"I really don't deserve you guys, I'm so... awful," Miu said, her head low, her hand clutching the cup in her hand tightly.

"You aren't awful, Miu," Kiibo replied, now the one sitting on the bed in front of Miu, his hand resting on her leg.

"I do shit like this and you guys still fucking care. I tried so hard not to relapse, but I can't fucking handle this anymore, I just," Miu started, her eyes burning again from the tears threatening to spill once again. "I try so hard to not think of it, but every time I'm alone, I can't help it. It's so, hard, I try to think of all the good things I've done, but I can't in that moment, and all I can think about is that fucking needle and the head rush. Every time liquid touches my lips, all I want is the burn of the bottom shelved liquor that let me escape this god forsaken Earth. Then I remember you two would be worried and it makes me want to do it more because I would get attention, and then realize who fucking selfish I am if I did that, buts it's too late and I don't look back," Miu ranted, her face now drenched, her hand crushing the cup in her clutch. "I never understood that I have self worth, and all the fucking times I made fun of everyone because I wanted to feel better about myself, and now I realize that I am a garbage human being and don't deserve to be treated like this."

The room fell quiet, the five taking in the saddening emotion of the room. Kaede knelled onto the bed, and embraced Miu in a tight hug. Kiibo followed, and soon, the four had Miu in a tight group hug. 

"Don't talk like that," Kaede said, lifting her head to look at Miu, Kaede's face now tear stained. "Miu Iruma, the Ultimate Inventor, you are the best thing that has happened to me in a long time. You surpass being accepted in Hope's Peak, you surpass being deemed the Ultimate Pianist, and you have surpassed ll of my good childhood memories. Miu, you need to stop being so proud to ask for help. You are one of the most important people to walk this goddamn earth, without you, half of the more high tech machinery wouldn't fucking exist. You have been through too much to only keep it to yourself. You are one of the strongest people I know, being through the traumatic accident, being in a coma, battling an off and on drug and drinking addiction, rape, you need to express these issues. Yes, talking is hard, and yes, some trauma is worse then others, but you need to tell others about this. Even if it's just Kiibo and I, having another person know and see the signs of you relapsing, it'll keep you safe and alive," Kaede grabbed Miu's chin, and kissed her, not caring about the stench of her breath. 

Mikan and Ibuki backed off from the hug, and stood in the corner of the room, Mikan leaning on Ibuki to relieve the ache in her feet. 

"Miu, you are my best friend. I would be so lost without you," Kiibo said, wiping away the tears on his face, and then wiping hers. Miu trembled, sniffing, and Kaede grabbed her a tissue, and Miu blew her nose.

The five sat quiet in the room until the digital clock rang 6 AM, and they all were alert again. 

"I kept you guys up, I'm sorry," Miu said softly as Mikan hit the snooze button, and got back to work to keep Miu hydrated.

"Don't worry about it Hun, class is cancelled today, and I believe Kaede said something about you her and Kiibo have the rest of the week off," Ibuki said, assisting Mikan in any way.

"I.. I have a show with Souda tomorrow, I can't let him do it alone!" Miu exclaimed, her face growing red. 

"That's moved to next week when you have your thoughts collected better, you can thank Kirumi for that," Kiibo stated, moving Miu's loose hair behind her ear. 

Miu sat in silence, trying to piece together the information being fed to her in that moment. She held the crushed water cup up to her lips and drank another gulp, looking around the now bright room, the sun rising, shining through the window. Miu stomach started growling, and she longed for the food in the bag. Kiibo noticed and grabbed it, and handed the bag to her. Miu immediately opened some of the containers and started eating lowly, as to not upset her stomach further, and drank water in between each bite.

"You really know how to eat after throwing up," Mikan said without stuttering, starting to clean up a bit around the room. 

"I guess you could say I have experience with this situation, but this is much easier that you take care of me so well," Miu said, smiling for the first time. Everyone else smiled as well. 

"Speaking of us having the rest of the week off," Kaede started, "Kiibs and I thought we could take a little road trip, maybe visit Kiibs dad so you guys could invent and have inventor v inventor time."

"I... Are you guys sure?" Miu said through mouth fulls, slowing down how fast she was eating.

"Uh, dude, do you know how MUCH my dad enjoys you? That's all he fuckin talks about," Kiibo said, and then realized he cursed, unlike himself to do. "Ah, excuse my language,"

Miu snorted, keeping in her laughter as to not choke on her food, "dude, you're good."

"We already packed, all we have to do is make sure you're well enough to leave. So, of course, Mikan is the judge of that," Kaede gestured to the ultimate nurse, as she blushed in the corner. 

"I-I wo-would just ha-have to watch o-over her for a few mo-more hours, to-to make sur-sure she's alri-alright," Mikan said, clutching her clipboard once again. 

Chat Name: Hos, Thots and Homosexuals

12:31 PM

tink tink: alright, Miu got the go ahead from Mikan, so Kaede and I packed Kaede's car. We're about to head out, if anyone wants to come see us off, we're leaving in about five minutes. 

Guacamole: All of us are about to come out

Furby Fetish: thank you guys.. for everything.. I truly don't deserve this, but, if I left it at that, Kaede would lecture me again.

Kaegay: damn straight.

Kaegay and 15 others have gone offline!

Chapter Text

Chat Name: Hos, Thots and Homosexuals

2:14 PM

The Mastermind has joined the chat!

The Mastermind: so this is what hell looks like

The Mastermind has changed BIBI Bitch and 15 other names!

The Mastermind has changed Blank and 15 other names!

The Mastermind: Have fuuuuuuun~

The Mastermind has gone offline!

4:01 PM

Watches Criminal Minds to thirst over Reid: what the fuck?

Watches Criminal Minds to thirst over Reid: I'm-

Has ten pairs of demonias and 3 pairs of stilettos: I

Is actually allergic to avocados: okay, this is very obvious.

Has an IQ of 187 but doesn't apply them-self: wait, you're allergic to avocado!?

Is actually allergic to avocado: hi, yes, it's Rantaro

The Mastermind has changed Is actually allergic to avocado's name to gaycamole!

Has an IQ of 187 but doesn't apply them-self: @Watches Criminal Minds to thirst over Reid I know that's you, Maki

Watches Criminal Minds to thirst over Reid: You're correct, Kaito

Has an IQ of 187 but doesn't apply them-self: R U D E

The Mastermind has changed Has an IQ of 187 but doesn't apply them-self's name to space balls!

The Mastermind has changed Watches Criminal Minds to thirst over Reid's name to i won't hesitate bitch!

i won't hesitate bitch: honestly, I don't mind this

The Mastermind: ;^)

Starts fights with 77 and 78 just to watch Naegi get his ass kicked: ok, look, it's absolutely hilarious

Has played DDLC 50 times in one day: Angie, I told you to stop doing that

Has played DDLC 50 times in one day: oh fuck

The Mastermind has changed Starts fights with 77 and 78 just to watch Naegi get his ass kicked's name to Atua's Will!

Has a huge crush on the dads: Tsumugi, that is not healthy

Has a huge crush on the dads: I

Has a huge crush on the dads has gone offline!

The Mastermind: too harsh?

gaycamole: wait what-

gaycamole: @Has ten pairs of demonias and 3 pairs of stilettos uhh, we need to uh, go??

Has ten pairs of demonias and 3 pairs of stilettos: yes, we do.

The Mastermind has changed Has played DDLC 50 times in one day's name to Weeb!

Smokes weed with Angie: yeah, a little too fucking harsh.

Smokes weed with Angie: hi, it's Ryoma

The Mastermind has changed Smokes weed with Angie's name to Stoned!

Has ten pairs of demonias and 3 pairs of stilettos: honestly, idc rn, I'm Kork.

The Mastermind has changed Has ten pairs of demonias and 3 pairs of stilettos's name to father dearest!

father dearest and gaycamole have gone offline!

Accidentally ate a wasp and their mouth was swelled for weeks, but still gave it a funeral: Gonta didn't mean to! 

Stoner: you're ok, Gonta, we know you couldn't hurt a fly

The Mastermind has changed Accidentally ate a wasp and their mouth was swelled for weeks, but still gave it a funeral's name to pure!

pure: :D

Gave one their robots a dick and made it go out and slap people with it: honestly, I'm not even mad. Also @Steals Souda's tools just to spite him is Miu

Steals Souda's tools just to spite him: KIIBO

i won't hesitate bitch: 1. Kiibo, wtf? 2. Miu, my respect for you just went up significantly

Steals Souda's tools just to spite him: :^3

The Mastermind has changed Gave one their robots a dick and made it go out and slap people with it's name to Mister Roboto!

The Mastermind has changed Steals Souda's tools just to spite him's name to  spiteful!

i won't hesitate bitch: ok, 2 things. 1. Kiibo, wtf. 2. Miu, my respect for you has gone up significantly.

spiteful: >:^3

Still in their fnaf phase: I

Still in their fnaf phase: I AM N O T

Cries because they love their S/O a lot: yeah, ok, S H U I C H I

Still in their fnaf phase: ok K A E D E

spiteful: aww, Kaede 🥺

The Mastermind has changed Still in their fnaf phase's name to tired detective!

The Mastermind has changed Cries because they love their S/O a lot's name to Kaebae!

Kaebae: I resent this.

The Mastermind: good.

Has a specific hat for food for when there are no clean dishes: nyeh?

"Accidentally" kicked Makoto in the balls: Himiko! I thought you got rid of that hat!

Has a specific hat for food when there are no clean dishes: Thanks, Tenko, now mom is gonna confiscate it

"Accidentally" kicked Makoto in the balls: I-

The Mastermind has changed "Accidentally" kicked Makoto in the balls's name to ball crusher!

The Mastermind has changed Has a specific hat for food when there are no clean dishes's name to mini magic!

mini magic: >:^(

Set the pool on fire again: oops

tired detective: K O K I C H I

Set the pool on fire again: haha, I'm in danger!

The Mastermind has changed Set the pool on fire again's name to angry smol!

angry smol: I AM NOT SMALL. I AM BIG AND TERRIFYING AND E V I L

spiteful: yeah, ok, mister 'cried for two hours because he saw a puppy'

angry smol: R U D E

The Mastermind has changed Has a crush on the dads's name to mother dearest!

The Mastermind: thanks for playing~

spiteful: well this was a turn of events I never expected.

ball crusher: Kirumi, are you ok?

Chat Name: Explaining Time

4:14 PM

Rantaro Amami: Kirumi? Are you okay?

Kirumi Tojo: If by okay you mean having a case of the panic, yes.

Korekiyo Shinguji: GOD what a mood.

Korekiyo Shinguji: but, really Kiru, are you okay?

Kirumi Tojo: pardon my french, but, F U C K, I'm sorry

Rantaro Amami: aklflnewklrg no don't be-

Korekiyo Shinguji: we were going to ask sooner, but alas, nerves really do get the best of us.

Kirumi Tojo:  H U H ?

Rantaro Amami: uh, surprise??

Rantaro Amami has changed the group name to Don't be shy put some  more

Rantaro Amami has change their name to Dad UWU

Dad UWU has changed Kirumi Tojo's name to Mom OWO

Dad UWU has changed Korekiyo Shinguji's name to Daddy ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Daddy ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): Rantaro-

Chat Name: Hos, Thots and Homosexuals

4:48 PM

ball crusher: mom, if either degenerate hurts you, I will break both twinks like a twig

mother dearest is online!

mother dearest: well, to say the least, I am in shock

mother dearest: howcanisaynotothesefacesUGH.jpeg

spiteful: OH WOW, WE NOW HAVE THREE OFFICIAL PARENTS GUYS

angry smol: WHY AM I CRYING WHAT IS THIS

i won't hesitate bitch: OH GOOD, SO IT'S NOT JUST ME

mother dearest has changed gaycamole's name to father dearest!

father dearest has changed father dearest's name to daddy dearest ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)!

daddy dearest ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): GOD DAMN IT

Mister Roboto: I'M DYING OH MY GOD THIS IS PURE GOLD WTF

tired detective: I can confirm, Kiibs is laughing so hard I'm afraid he's going to pop something :^/

angry smol: oh good, permission to call Kiyo daddy, now?

daddy dearest ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) has muted the chat until 6 AM tomorrow! Why?: KOKICHI I WILL SMITE YOU INTO THE BEYOND

Chapter Text

Chat Name: Hos, Thots and Homosexuals

7:13 AM

mother dearest: why do I hear screaming?

daddy dearest ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): I believe you are hearing Rantaro.

mother dearest: ah, I see

father dearest: KOKICHI I WILL THROTTLE YOU INTO THE SUN WHERE DID YOU PUT MY BOXERS YOU GODDAMN HEATHEN

angry smol: H U H ?

father dearest: ANGIE

Atua's Will: They have to dry, hol on

father dearest: WHAT DO YOU MEAN THEY HAVE TO DRY, GIVE ME MY DICK CONTAINER SHORTS BACK

daddy dearest ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): IM FUCKING CRYING THIS IS G O L D

father dearest: DON'T ENCOURAGE THIS, I THOUGHT YOU WERE THE RESPONSIBLE ONE

daddy dearest ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): since w h e n

mother dearest: Angie, please tell me you didn't

Atua's Will: oh, but i did

mother dearest: OH MY G O D

father dearest: IF I DON'T SEE A PAIR OF BOXERS IN FRONT OF MY DOOR IN 5 SECONDS

Atua's Will: done, enjoy :^)

Atua's Will is offline!

mother dearest: was-

kaebae: it's too early for this

father dearest: I'M CRYING

father dearest: ANGIE HOW DO YOU WORK SO FAST

father dearest: MY BOXERS HAVE KORK AND KIRUMI'S FACE ON THE ASS WHAT IN THE HELL

Weeb: my girlfriend, everyone

Weeb: Most of mine have little anime doodles on them and it's so cute

spiteful: so that's where my undies went

spiteful: I thought I was going crazy

Atua's Will: I think all of you will find one pair at the least missing

Atua's Will: They be returned when they're dry uwu

kaebae: I'm so,,, conflicted

Stoner: ANGIE YOU BEAUTIFUL BEING GONTA IS CRYING HE'S SO HAPPY OH MY G O D

Pure: Gonta loves them so much :'D

Atua's Will: I have reached peak euphoria, now I can die peacefully, I fulfilled my life goal. 

Weeb: babe, please don't die

Atua's Will: drat, foiled again

daddy dearest ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): this is g o l d

daddy dearest ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): also, class starts soon, so, go on, get

angry smol: ok, daddy

daddy dearest ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) has muted the chat until 12 PM! Why?: I will single handily murder all of you with no remorse, GO TO CLASS!

Chat Name: Hos, Thots and Homosexuals

12:02 PM

angry smol: aw man :^(

tired detective: maybe if you didn't curse the chat with d*ddy, he wouldn't do this

angry smol: oooooh, so Rantaro can say daddy but I can't unu

father dearest: Kokichi, I only make the joke, I don't actually say it

angry smol: not now, anyway >:^3

father dearest: h u h ?

spiteful: it will come with time. 

mother dearest: It's too early for this

tired detective: it's noon???

mother dearest and father dearest have gone offline!

tired detective: honestly, valid

Chapter Text

Hello beautiful people!! This is a weird little update/announcement!

I wanna get to know you guys!! Would anyone be interested in joining a discord server where you guys can have sneak peaks on chapters and really, all in all, ask me questions and stuff!! 

If you would like to join, here's the link! My @ is jackthelesbian so you know it's me!!

Don't feel obliged! I just want to get to know you guys better!!

Have a great day/rest of your day!!

- Jack

Chapter Text

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Here's the new link :^)

Chapter Text

Chat Name: Hos, Thots and Homosexuals

4:15 PM

angry smol: @Pure GONTA WHY ARE THE GRASSHOPPERS ALL OVER THE DORMS

angry smol: GONTA THEY'RE EVERYWHERE

space balls: WHAT

space balls: IS THAT WHY MAKI AND I ARE HEARING CHIRPING OUTSIDE HER DOOR?!?!

Stoned: They have escaped.

Stoned: Tell my boyfriend I love him, I am incased.

angry smol: @Pure !!

daddy dearest ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): I NEED A FUCKING FLAME THROWER, OH MY GOD, I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT HELP ME, SOMEONE, PLEASE, I AM GOING TO FUCKING CRY

father dearest: PLEASE SEND HELP, WE'RE TRAPPED

mother dearest: I'M GOING TO HAVE A FUCKING PANIC ATTACK

tired detective: I WOULD LOVE TO HELP, BUT I AM CURRENTLY HIDING IN A BROOM CLOSET TO AVOID THE SWARM

tired detective: KDKDFGHDKJFKKJFKHFLHLAHGSDJ I HAVE BEEN OVERTHROWN

tired detective: @angry smol @Mister Roboto this is the end for me, see you on the other side, my loves

tired detective is offline!

angry smol: WHERE THE FUCK IS GONTA

Pure: So sorry! Gonta just woke up from nap! What Gonta miss?

angry smol: YOUR GRASSHOPPERS HATCHED AND ESCAPED THE LABS

angry smol: HELP US

Pure: GONTA ON HIS WAY

Group Name: Hos, Thots and Homosexuals

8:58 PM

Mister Roboto: ok, I think we got all of them

Mister Roboto: has everyone calmed down?

i wont hesitate bitch: Kirumi, Kiyo, Rantaro and Kaito are still in the midst of a panic attack, but I have them under surveillance

tired detective: I have everyone else ok now, we should be good

Mister Roboto: thank fucking god

Stoned: Gonta is too ashamed of himself to look at his phone because he feels super bad

Stoned: but yeah, we caught all of them

tired detective: thank you, Ryoma.

i wont hesitate bitch: the four have resorted their panic to cooking, so ig we'll have a shit tone of baked goods for a while

angry smol: ;-; ok

Chapter Text

Chat Name: Discord Kittens

8:43 AM

Piano kitten: Wakey wakey you idiots, we got shit to fuck up !!

Robo kitten: who are you and what have you done with Kaede ?

Piano kitten: No no, it's still me, i swear on my life :)

Punk kitten: sus ngl

Discord Mod: It's way too early for this

Piano kitten: good morning shuichi ! you're finally awake :D

Grape kitten: HEY

Grape kitten: STAY OFF MY LAWN

Piano kitten: mmm no

Grape kitten: >:0

Grape: @Crazy kitten neutralize ur gf pls i cant do this today !!

Crazy kitten: no <3

Grape kitten: D:

Maid kitten: i am going to have a stroke pls its only 9 am

Piano kitten: :( but mom :(

Maid kitten: save your cursed banter for after lunch, ur going 2 give me a migraine.

Discord Mod 2: ^^^

Punk kitten: good morning my loves :D

Maid kitten: :( i said wait until after lunch

Discord Mod 2: ^^^

Punk kitten: D:

Chat Name: Discord Kittens

12:30 PM

Punk kitten: IT'S AFTER LUNCH BITCHES

Maid kitten: After 8pm.

Punk kitten: WHAT

Punk kitten: D:

girl in red: I agree w Kiru, you may speak after 8pm

Punk kitten: This is homophobia.

Punk kitten: This is a hate crime.

Discord Mod 3: SHUT THE FUCK UP

Discord Mod 2: ^^^

Discord Mod: ^^^

Grape kitten: owo ?

Discord Mod: No.

Grape kitten: ;3;

innocent bystander: Gonta confused

Tennis kitten: It's ok Gonta, so am I

innocent bystander: ;-; Why is Rantaro being crimed D:

Punk kitten: SEE

Punk kitten: YOU MADE GONTA SAD

Punk kitten: THIS IS A HATE CRIME

Discord Mod, Discord Mod 2 and Discord Mod 3 have gone offline !

Punk kitten: sleep w one eye open bitches
Punk kitten: IM COMING FOR YOU

Punk kitten has gone offline !

Space kitten: what the fuck

Maid kitten: Please, it's a no bones day, I can't do this

Space kitten: Mercury is in Gatorade

Maid kitten has muted Space kitten for 1 hour !