Chapter Text
This is one of the many times you've been glad you don't have neighbours.
The twins insisted on going to the party. You had to shut that idea down before they even voiced it. Didn't stop them from talking over you about their cool and destructive ideas. You'd tell them none of their destructive ideas were cool but that's just your dumb squishy opinion.
"You can't go." It felt like if you put any more emphasis on the word 'can't' your voice would crack.
"You just told us about a party. A party you want to maybe go to. Did you think we would pack you a nice human lunch and send you on your way?" Frenzy sounds genuinely confused. There's a dull clank as he puts his fists on his hips.
The image of them both wearing frilly aprons and pushing you out the door of your own house with a sack lunch pops into your head. You physically have to wave away the image and his ridiculous words.
"You don't take a packed lunch to a party. That's weird. You still can't go. This is not a dress up party. If you go people are going to be weird or worse. They could call the cops."
He huffs at you.
"I am also against charging in and stealing their booze...again."
The smile Frenzy shoots says both 'delighted memories' and 'I'm a little shit'.
"I said no. You can't come and if you do I'm going to get Ravage on my side and banish you from my house until I feel like you've learned your lesson" You put your foot down as hard as you can. It's not very hard but it gets your point across.
Rumble puts his hands up. "Calm down babe. No need to throw us out." You might have believed him if Frenzy wasn't still smiling at you.
You give him the most suspicious look you can. "It's next weekend. You guys can watch movies or make some kind of fort in the dining room if you want. Don't wreck my stuff. I'm going to tell the other guys next time they are over."
Both twins nod along with your words.
They give you a thumbs up and excuse themselves for the rest of the night.
The rest of your night is quiet and spent curled up on the couch.You don't think you've ever been more nervous while watching Judge Judy before.
---
Ravage pays you a visit early in the morning. He helps you start coffee and pick out an outfit for work before you tell him about the party.
He takes it well and is excited for the twins to mess up and then get thrown out of the house. You can tell he just wants the house to be quiet for a few weeks. You almost slip and tell him that he can't frame them for anything but Ravage is a reasonable cat so you doubt he would stoop so low.
By the time you get home your livingroom is cleaner than it's been all week and the couch is made for one. Throw pillows and blankets all in place.
That's where you find the birds.
You leave your shoes by the door and make your way over. They have one of your pillows between them with your plush comfy blanket tossed next to it.
This is all starting to feel like some elaborate set up. You sit between them and pull the blanket over your legs anyway. What are they going to do? Bite you? Your relationship is far past that. You hope anyway. You're pretty sure you read somewhere that some birds give love bites but you could be wrong.
Apparently metal cats do act more like organic cats than anticipated. So it stands that metal birds might too. Though you're likely to lose a finger or an arm if they decide to start biting you.
"So we heard from a friend you were going to toss the troublemakers out?" Buzzsaw says and you can hear the smile in his voice.
You can't help but sputter. "N-no! Why do you guys play telephone with what I say?"
Laserbeak picks her head up and sleepily blinks at you. "There has to be some kind of truth to it though. Even if you were just threatening them. Ravage couldn't have messed up that bad. He's not old enough to have a rusting problem." She sounds confused and tired. Probably tired of all the b.s. the twins get up to.
"I was thinking about going to another party with my friends. It's a small get together and we'll be celebrating!"
"Celebrating what?"
"She didn't tell me but I assume it's her little sister's birthday...or maybe someone's getting married? Bachelorette party?"
"Ah...the married life" Buzzsaw chips. You're sure he'd roll his eyes if he was able. You'd ask how he knew what that was but you've watched your fair share of television drama with him.
They also probably have something like that on his home planet. Robots can get married. Even bird robots. It's only fair after all.
"I guess I'll go and see and you guys wont do anything to encourage the twins right?"
"Of course." They both answered in unison.
You had a bad feeling about this.
---
You ignored it the following days and the evening of your friend's party had you dressed in a nice dress you had bought a year ago and haven't had an occasion to wear it to. It was dark, soft, and surprisingly comfortable. Even with the slit up the side.
Pulled into the party by your glowing highschool friend you made nice with a couple of college girls and their designated driver. It's a relatively small 'we got engaged and we are celebrating with friends before going home and having it made about the family'
Bailey looks happy with her man that you've also.not caught the name of. They are a cute couple.
The lights were down low and the music was just loud enough to drown out your thoughts. Red solo cup in hand you steadily make your way away from the kitchen which also happened to be the epicentre of people.
You mean as best you can against the wall. Purple movement catches your eye and you do a double take to see a half sized Rumble sneaking his way around some flower bushes. The Bush looks roughed up but it has nothing on the several smashed decorative garden stones that his massive fucking feet apparently obliterated.
Your brain pauses for a full minute.
You come back to Rumble no longer being in the backyard… from what you can tell.
You chug your drink and quickly go back for another. With a tentative plan in mind that starts with getting slightly more tipsy. A girl you kind of recognize fills your cup for you. She smiles and her glittery light pink lipstick actually looks really nice on her.
"Thanks for coming. I know we aren't really familiar but Bailey is glad you are here." She quirks her mouth in a little sly smirk. "Even if it's just to temp you out of the house for a little bit."
You laugh. Probably more nervously than called for but you aren't sure how else to respond to that or how to feel.
Liquid courage acquired. Next step: somehow wrangle 2 metal men home without causing damage to yourself or the property and also not getting the cops involved?
You pace around a bit. Doing your best to disguise it as drunk dancing. You're really just looking for a hint of red light or low shine paint outside.
Just when you're pretty sure that you were having stress induced hallucinations you spot Frenzy waving at you from behind the bushes. He looks manic and is holding a tiny boombox. If they've come to serenade you at your friend's little sister's birthday party, you're going to lose it.
After some more suspiciously making your way around the living room you jiggle the backdoor handle. It's locked. No big surprise. If you can make it to the kitchen you can use the side door. It's probably not locked.
Getting dragged into pleasant yet tipsy small talk is unavoidable. You learn what a few of the girls are going to school for and that one of them is hot for their teacher. It's hard to be encouraging while also trying to get her to not go after her creative writing teacher. Even if he has soft gold hair and big doe eyes.
You slip into the kitchen and toss your cup in the trash. You sigh in relief. This whole thing just took years off your life and this is definitely way more stressful than the Halloween party.
You look out the tiny window above the sink and see Frenzy waving at you from the shadows. You cough and hack up the spit you almost drowned on.
He's standing under some leaning pine tree; looking excited.
They can't be doing this to you. You are currently with friends and if they see you talking to the Decepticons then you'll get arrested. Your brain isn't working so you waggle your fingers at him in some weird wave. He smiles and makes his way back into the shadows to go do something questionably legal. Oh don't even fool yourself. The fact they are on Earth is probably illegal.
And in this moment you realize that maybe befriending tiny evil alien robots maybe wasn't the smartest move to make. They made your boring yet enjoyable life fun and learning about them has been fascinating but they want your whole species dead...or you're pretty sure that's their end goal.
They might seem friendly but what if they are just playing with you?
Casual and temporary entertainment. Once you're gone they could take your house for themselves. No rules to follow and free rain to all the rooms you won't let them in.
They could have hurt you so many times!?
And with that thought you realize you have been hyperventilating, hunched over the sink, and staring into the eyes of a ceramic dog that is perched on the window still.
Come back down to earth.
If they wanted you dead they would have killed you and they are genuinely upset when they make you mad. Just because they cause damage to pretty much everywhere they go doesn't mean they want you dead.
Hopefully.
You catch red gleaming in the low light again and your gaze snaps to it. Frenzy and back outside making some kind of pulling gesture. He wants you to come outside.
Fuck it. You've been here for like 2 hours. You've had a few things to drink and have met several people you'll probably never see again. You pick up an empty cup, fill it halfway with water straight from the tap, and drain it before making your way around the other tipsy people. The back door isn't locked so you shimmy outside without making too much noise. Might as well see what the terror twins want.
They are standing in the grassy alleyway between both houses. The pine tree is doing its best to shade them from prying eyes.
"This better be good." You manage not to slur.
"Pff Babe it's fine. We didn't wreck the party and no booze was stolen." Rumble flaps one hand at you. The gears in his wrist click concerningly.
"We wanted you to meet someone!" Rumble continues before Frenzy butts in.
"He wanted to meet you and he wouldn't accept that you weren't worth it. You're just so squishy. What could you do in the grand scheme of things?" Frenzy says.
Rumble punches his brother in the shoulder and sends him right into the tree. The metal thunk is not helping them hide. You can just imagine the party goers inside being confused and coming out any second now. If you weren't a few drinks deep you would probably be more concerned.
"Guys," You take a deep breath. "This isn't the place to do this. Just...take me home? I'll meet him there? Uh, if that's okay? I'm not totally sober. Please?"
Frenzy seems calmed by your pleas and the next thing you know he's scooped you up and you're on your way home. Your home. Hopefully not their home. Ravage mentioned sea water and fish last time you asked and you don't feel like taking a midnight trip to the bottom of the sea.
The trip home is less swingy and rough than you imagined. Like he's somehow stabilized his torso so you don't get shook around. He's made of metal and in that vein also a robot so he probably has but if you call him out on it he's going to shake you just for fun. It's surprisingly nice and his heated metal and nice compared to the chill in the evening air.
You feel like you blink and you've suddenly been teleported home.
You probably took a power nap.
You'll probably need it to deal with whatever this is to be honest.