Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Mario spotted Malaya she was standing by de vending machine, not really picking something, apparently just catching her breath, like the others, it was a hellish night, the explosion, the numerous patients, the tension, the deaths... luckily it was almost over, because of that he was looking for Angus, since he had told Mike about his suspicions about the drugs, and the older doctor have to benched at his brother, he hadn't seen him, he needed talk to him, but he wasn't in the break room, not in the lockers, in central stage, in the halls, so he had to ask her if she knew something about her friend.

"Hey Malaya "
She didn't hear Mario calling.
"Maya?"
Nothing, until he put a hand in her shoulder, she jumped a little bit and looked up at Mario and sighed closing her eyes.
"Are you ok?"
"Yes, I'm just tired"
"Yeah, me too"
" I'm just wanna go home and sleep like forever "
"Ha, good luck with that, we'll be back here in a few hours "
"Oh come on, let me dream "
They laughed a little, and Malaya started to put some buttons on the machine.
"Hey, you... you have seen at Angus?"
"Hum?" She picked up the snack and together they walked to the break room "He said that he had to go home, Mike let him go, well he ordered him to go"
"When? Why?"
"I don't know, a couple hours ago, I lost the notion of the time, I think that they fought... you know something? "
"... something? Like what? "

They entered into the room and sited on the chairs.
"He's been acting... weird lately, but today was a new level "
"Maybe it was just the explosion, it... it was a big explosion "
"I don't know... maybe, when he came to the lockers before, he looked angry, grabbed his things and practically slammed the door"
Mario thought about his conversation with Mike, it was almost sure that he could do something about his brother, but now he wasn't even sure that talking with him was a good idea, what if was a mistake, What if instead of helping it made the problem worse?... the Leighton's were the kind of brothers that were close, he suppose that they would do anything to help one another, they were family, a normal functional and lovingly family, and now they were fighting, Mike told his brother to leave, even knowing what he knew, what was Mike thinking? The last thing that Angus needed was being alone.

"Mario?"
He was lost in his own mind when Malaya called his name.
"I'm sorry... I'm tired too... I'm should go to rest... I finished my paperwork already... so..."
He started to stand up but Malaya grabbed his arm.
"Will you tell me... right?... if it's something wrong with Angus? ... he's my best friend, I owe my life to him and I need to know if he is in trouble or something, if I can do anything to help him..."
"Malaya, I... can't..."
"Promise me... Mario if he needs help, Promise me that you will tell me "
"... I promise you that... I'll tell you... but I need talk to him first"
"... ok..."
Slowly she let go his arm, and breathed.
"I trust you..."

Those words, usually these words weren't directed at him, but mean something, mean that they were becoming something close to a family, a chosen family, and he'll have to do anything for protecting this, for his new family even if were for themselves, he smiled at her and turned to leave.

"Me too... sleep well Malaya..."

First things first, he needed find Mike and ask him what he was doing? Kicking his obviously conflicted brother just like that, when he know for sure that Angus will be alone, alone and thinking about all the things that he did, that never was good when someone was hooked on drugs, he knew that, he knew and apparently Mike not, he thought that he was smarter than this, the anger started rising in his chest meanwhile walked to find Mike in the nurse's station.

Chapter Text

Mike was trying to act professional, doing his job, facing his colleagues, his patients, but it was being so hard, when the only thing that wanted to do was run after his brother, find him, talk to him, and tell him that everything would be ok, that he could trust him... be there for him, but unfortunately the paperwork wasn't finished, it looked endless, and he wasn't allowed to delegate to someone else, doctor Rorish trusted him to get everything under control and he wasn't going to disappoint her... too.

He suspected that something was wrong with Angus some time ago, he wasn't acting like himself anymore, no since Gordon, nothing was the same since then, his little brother was drowning in misery, despair and pain and he didn't do anything for help him, just watched and told him that he cannot tell anyone, he pushed him in some way to this situation... he supposed to be there for him, to protected him, to help him, to be his brother, but no, he decided ignore all the signs, decided to not see the pain in his eyes, the nervous attitude... Because it was stopped almost ... immediately... it was then when he had started, how he had not been able to see it, he was so blind, he opted to believe that his brother didn't need his help, that he could get over it by himself, even more, that he was finding his confidence, that that damn night wasn't affecting him that much... 

He was a terribly human being, an awful brother, how could be Mario the one who had discovered it first? what would have happened if he hadn't been so kind to say something? What if when he was capable to see it was too late? ... No, that train of thought was nothing good.

And tonight he had done his last mistake, what he was thinking when talked to his brother like that? he just were there all vulnerable, he was in that dammed explosion, his patient had just died, he started using drugs who know when and he was almost sure why and after Mario told him what he suspected, the first thing that he had done was benched him, and that talk... could be gone better...

Angus was standing in front of the morgue lost in his thoughts, his arms crossed over his chest, tension in his face and shoulders, an old memory crossed Mike's mind, of a younger Angus just preoccupied with nothing and everything at the same time, the school and his father approval, simple times, and he as the wiser big brother who had the job of convinces him that everything would be fine... and how they can be here now? ...

"Hey" That startled him and straightened a little bit "everything ok?"
Angus embraced himself more and avoided his eyes. 
"... yes, I was just..."
"Angus... it was not your fault "
"I... it's..." his voice was almost broken. 
"And neither of the Adderall..."Angus turned his head, questioning but still avoiding his gaze. 
"I don't know what are you talking about"
"Mario told me..."
The expression in his face changed from confused to angry so fast, and with a bitter tone said. 
"Of course, he said something and you chosen to believe him instead of asking me first..."
"Wait, no, Angus...that's no... he is just worried about you, I'm worried about you"
"Well, you don't have anything to worry, because I'm fine "
"You and I know that that is not true... look I know I made a mistake by telling you that you couldn't talk to anyone about what happened, and you did what you thought might help you, but we can fix this, we will find someone you can talk "
"I don't need your help, I don't need anything!" Angus said rising his voice, hurt and despair evident in his eyes. 
"Angus... I..."
He took a deep breath and closed his eyes trying to calm down his mind, and when he spoke, his voice sounded tiny and to the edge of the tears. 

"since I first walked into Trauma one, all I wanted was to feel like I belonged... and I did my best to earn my spot here, and then when I was feeling good here... Gordon came to crash all my life... and I tried to get over it, I tried to forgive myself, to convince myself that what I did it was the right thing to do... but nothing was enough, no matter what always was something holding me down... and I found something that helped me to think clearer, that make it easy to handle this shit... and you of all people who had not the right to say a word about what can or can't do, you say that this is a problem? ... I can be a functional human being again "
"What are you saying? " Mike suddenly felt angrier listening his brother talking like that and feeling like he was somewhat responsible for that behavior. "You're not helping anybody, not yourself, the only thing you're doing is building a ticking bomb that is going to explode in any minute, and you're gonna drag a lot of people with you... Angus that is not who you are, you need..."
"Now you know what I need? ..."
"It's obvious that you need help "
"The only thing that I need is that you and Savetti leave me alone, and let me do my job "
"No"
"No what?"
"I I won't let you keep working here until you, we fix this problem"
"You can't do that "

"I can and I'll do it, maybe I'm your brother but I'm still your boss... if you keep working like tonight, you could hurt someone or yourself and everything will get worse "
Suddenly Malaya appeared in the hallway approaching to them, apparently she was looking for the older Leighton.
"Hey Mike I finally found you, doctor Rorish is asking for you" she noticed the tension between them but said nothing, just stopped talking and watched Mike recover his cool before answer.

"It's a emergency? "
"... ammm, no, she just had some papers for you and..."
Mike turned to follow her to central stage.
"Ok, let's go " Angus started to walk in the same direction but when he took his first step, Mike stopped him holding his arm. "Angus you can go home"
He looked at his arm and then at his brother face.
"What? " he took a step back to get his arm back. 
"I said you should go, we'll talk later "
And Mike turned around leaving an angry Angus, Malaya watched confused the interaction, and when she was about to ask something Angus rushed to the exit passing by Mike side pushing his shoulder.
"Fine..." and disappeared in the lockers direction, Mike just sighed and went back to work followed by a shocked Malaya.

He was so lost in his thoughts and work that he didn't noticed Mario approaching until he was standing in front of him in his street clothes and an obvious angry expression. 

Chapter Text

The angels memorial is one of those places that always is awake, the background always is filled with noises, everyone is busy with things to do, saving lives, patching holes, making hearts beat again... catch your breath and do it again is the basis of the game.

It was obvious that Mike was trying to avoid this talk because when he saw at Mario standing in front of him he pinched the bridge of his nose and prepared himself to dismiss him, but he needed some answers.

"You talked with Angus? "
Mike continued with his work.
"Yes "
"And you let him go, alone... after everything that happened?"
Mike paused for a moment but he didn't look back at Mario.
"Savetti... I would appreciate if we keep this issue away from here... he is my brother and I know how to dealt with him"
"Are you? Because seems to me that you no have idea of what are you doing? "
Mike lifted his gaze and turned his entire body to face at Mario and whispered to close to his face.
"Look thank you for what you did, but it's my problem now, so you can go back to your own business"
Mario looked at his eyes and hardened his expression.
"Angus will need all the help he can get"
"He'll be fine, he no need anything from you"
"You have to kidding me, there is no way that you can handle this alone... look I..."
"Since when you're concerned about the well being of my brother? for all the stories I heard about you, since the day one the only thing that you did was pushing him out your way "
"That changed and you know it, he's my friend"
"Well doctor Savetti, we are here to work, not to make friends, and if you excuse me, I have a lot to do"
And with that Mike collected his papers and went to another place to finish the conversation leaving him without the opportunity to say something.

The worse thing about this situation was that everybody keep talking like it wasn't the big deal that it was, Heather saying that wasn't her fault that Angus were hooked, that she had been using for years and nothing had happened (what a fucking lie) and now Mike saying that he could handle all alone, Mario knew that when your love ones are involved in something like this your judgment is not the best, that you can do stupid things to protect them from everything, that is difficult for you accept the fact that this is over you, but if he was honest with himself he really had think that Mike would be more intelligent than a average concerned familiar, but apparently he was wrong, but he did say something true, Angus was his friend, and he wasn't allowed to lose someone else in the drugs,
Maybe Mario was not a psychologist, he's not even a remotely nice person, he is for beyond the worse option to give him advice about addictions he is sure about that, but he's trying to change, he cares about this new family and if he wants to save the life of Angus he needed find him right now, before that something worse happens, and he's not going think about the things that could Angus do in his state of mind, alone, with the symptoms that he's been showing, maybe looking for... no way that he will let that happen he said to himself while he ran out of the Angels to Angus's house, he pulled out his phone and tried to call him, but went straight to the voicemail; a understandable thing by the way that the night went, Mario wished that he could drive faster than the speed limit but he needed the time that the driveway was giving him to make a plan and calm his nerves.

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"Hello buddy, I'm sorry but... I'm busy or sleeping and can't answer... so leave your message and some day I'll be calling you back or not "

It was pointless after the fifth time because first: he was just arriving at Angus's place, and second: Mario doubt that Angus would listen his message ( at least in his phone) completely. 

Leaving his car in the parking lot he went straight to Angus's apartment and knocked the door and waited for an answer, when nothing happened he tried again a few times.
"Angus! Are you there?--- come on I need to talk to you!---- Angus!?" Nothing, he leaned his head on the door to try to listen something but now it was obvious that he's been yelling at an empty apartment, and maybe bothering at the neighbors... he singed thinking about what to do.

It was late night, or early morning? Anyway it weren't too many places to go at this hour (at least places that Angus normally go) but again, in this situation the things were different... maybe Mike knew where he could go? 
No, since they were fighting just hours before Angus left the hospital... Mario groaned tired, this was becoming frustrating, it was a vicious cycle, until something hit him, maybe Heather, maybe she knew something since she had been his dealer, even if the only thought of her was enough to make him angrier, it was the only option for now.

Reluctantly grabbed his phone and dialed her number and waited for a response, a few eternal seconds later she picked up.

-What do you want Savetti?-
- I need...-
-Of course you need something-The sarcasm in her voice was evident- But you made it clear, right? I was what?... and now you want a second chance? -
- Heather, it's not about that, I just want to ask you something-
- And if I don't want talk to you ?-
- Heather, I don't want to talk to you either but after all the things that do you did you owe me at least this-
- Wrong... twice, I did not anything and I don't owe you nothing and if this is about the stupid deal with the Adderall and Angus I prefer not mention it again, not ever I have enough problems because of that, so if you excuse me-
- Yes, yes, I'll leave you alone with all the trash that you accumulated in your life, but I want, no I need to know if you gave him something more of that shit-
-You mean Angus? -
- There's other people that you're been?...-
-No... and aghhh- and now she was upset and tired- You know what... ok this is the last time that I talk about this, in the hope that you stop with the I'm the police act... I don't give him anything lately, he was asking for more but I already I'd given him enough for a couple of months, but apparently he was taking it like it were candies so when I told him that I cannot do anything for him, he said ok and hung up the phone-
- That was before the explosion-
- That was a few hours ago, when I was leaving the Angels...
- What? -
- What you hear, now make me a favor and when you see him, can you tell him that stop approaching to me, to avoid problems and suspicions...-
- You, you know where he can get something more? -
- what do I look like? Like a fucking junkie? No I don't know what you friend has been doing and to be honest, I don't care... now if you excuse me I had a hellish day, and tomorrow will be the same... Bye. 

And she ended the call leaving him with the phone pressed to his ear, he closed his eyes and clenched the device in his hand, his mind was rushing to every possible place that Angus could go to get his next fix and even if before he thinked that his friend not be too deep in that awful path, now he was convinced that the situation was worse that Mike and he had thought, Heather's words echoed in the back of his mind and memories from his personal journey to the self destruction were worsened his anxiety, all the possibilities were enough for make him nauseous.
The sound of a series of heavy steps approaching captured his attention, and when he opened his eyes was met with the now very familiar Angus angry face walking in his direction but avoiding his gaze, Mario pushed his back from the wall and took a step closer to Angus but he was cut short by the first words that left Angus mouth .
"What are you doing here Savetti? "
The venom with which they were said froze his blood.