Work Text:
25 Days of FicMas
Day: Twelve
Dedication: Joys
Fandom: Ghost Hunt
Pairing: Gen (Future MaiNaru?)
Disclaimer: I do not own Ghost Hunt
Things She Learnt
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There were many things that Mai had learnt about being alive that she never thought she'd have the chance to after her mother had gotten sick and passed away; leaving her all alone in the world.
She'd learnt that being alive can be warm, and that knowing people care for you could be the best reason to get out of bed in the morning.
(She'd also learnt that sometimes that family isn't blood related – and that was okay.)
She'd learnt that sometimes, being alive was painful, but it was worth it to keep on going.
(Sometimes it could be a struggle to make through the day while weight of the world felt like it was weighing on her shoulders, and that was okay as well, because tomorrow would come and it would be better.)
She'd learnt that being alive sometimes meant being selfish – sometimes things could be about her for a change.
(This one had taken a while to understand, but she'd gotten there.)
She'd learnt that sometimes being alive meant being selfless – sometimes things were about someone else, and helping them.
(Not always though.)
And then the most shocking thing.
She'd learnt that being in love was exactly the same.
Being in love meant being warm on some days and suffering through the pain of caring too much about others. Being in love meant being selfish sometimes and putting herself first, but also being selfless and putting him first too sometimes. Being in love was being alive, and she wouldn't change that for the world.
Except being rejected?
That felt like having all of those things ripped away from her leaving her cold – a hole in the space her heart had slowly managed to fill.
The world seemed black and white, monochromatic in everyway. Everything was energy, energy, energy.
Getting up was a chore, showering was unnecessary, work was stagnant – a necessity for reasons she still didn't understand.
Life was bleak and emotionless; so was she.
But like could only remain like that for so long.
After a month of this, Mai ran into Yasu. At first it had been silent, her dead eyes staring back at him, his mouth formed in what she was sure was going to be a smile, only to grimace.
Of course.
Mai knew she looked terrible. She was struggling to pay her bills with her newest job and she was skipping half of her classes because getting out of bed was the hardest thing in the universe. She was sleeping too much and yet never enough and worst of all – she was dreaming.
“You look terrible,” Yasu said finally.
And she laughed.
It wasn't a sane laugh. It was broken, cutting through the air like shards of glass; a representation of how she'd felt since her world was turned upside down.
“I know.”
“Will you let me help?” Yasu offered
Everything stood still as she considered his words carefully. She longed to accept, to build up her heart once more and to feel something, anything again. But she was afraid of having it ripped away for the third time. She was afraid to lose it all again.
“Okay,” she whispered finally.
It took time before her heart was rebuilt, before the pain that she'd suffered began to ebb away to give way to the happiness she'd felt before. But Mai wasn't the kind of girl to give up so she fought her depression, her anxiety and demons so that she could feel that sunshine warmth once more.
And when the day came that she was face to face with Naru once more, she didn't shatter. She stood tall with Yasu at her side and the knowledge that no matter what – she could pick herself up again.
Mai had learnt many things about being alive but this one, she found, was most important.