Chapter Text
"Wow, I still can't believe that actually worked." The ridiculousness of their ruse struck Piper once more with powerful force as he struggled to wriggle out of his borrowed shiny red spandex. Wally was in the next room, having changed into street clothes much more quickly and efficiently, and not just owing to the superspeed. The costume was obviously designed with his sleekly muscled form in mind, not Piper's recently acquired chub.
"Eh, I told you, the guy was only going to give you a passing glance. Adrenaline's funny that way." Wally sounded utterly dismissive and as confident as ever. Piper could only shrug. Clearly the kid's methods worked for him, and Piper did have a tendency to sabotage his old projects by over-thinking them.
He finally finished ridding himself of the clingy fabric, threw on his more accustomed grubby sweats, and joined Wally in the main room. He wadded up the costume into a ball and tossed it on the kid's lap, where he was lounging on his couch.
"Dude, you're wrinkling the hell out of it! C'mon, aren't you guys supposed to be good with clothes?"
Piper quirked an eyebrow. "You guys?"
Wally winced. "Did I put my foot in my mouth again already?"
"Kind of, yeah. I'd appreciate you not reducing me to stereotypes just because you know about my sexual orientation now. I mean, geeze Wally..." Piper stepped around the couch so that he was in full view of his friend. More specifically, so that his grungy grey sweatpants with the rips and sealer stains, as well as the stretched out band t-shirt complete with tiny burns from careless moments during his tech work, were on full view. As well as his broken and stubby fingernails, his messy orange ponytail, and unflattering but environmentally friendly footwear. "I'd say it's rather obvious that I'm not now, nor have I ever been, one of the obsessively over groomed and fashion conscious gays you're thinking of. I'm still me. There's no reason to suddenly reevaluate everything you knew about me before."
"I know, I know. You're not actually the first gay guy I've been friends with."
That got his attention. "Really?" Piper frowned thoughtfully. "But...but you ran down the side of the building to get away when I told you."
"Is that what it looked like?" Wally sat up a little straighter, looking mildly horrified. "No, no-no-no, I swear it wasn't a hasty retreat. I actually did have a meet up with Superman I was late for. I mean, c'mon, I called you less than twenty four hours later to pull you in on the team up. That should exonerate me, shouldn't it?"
"I'd thought you just needed some space to process it. I didn't weird you out?"
"I didn't see it coming, but people say I'm kinda dense, so...yeah. You don't think much of me, do you Piper?" Wally teased.
"It's not that. People just...don't always respond that well when they find out. I've come to expect the worst." Piper sat down on the arm of the couch. Wally looked intrigued.
"Coming out to supervillains must have been something, huh?"
"I was thinking of my parents, actually. But you're right. It wasn't exactly a treat when the Rogues found out. So wait, you've got other gay friends?" And he was still that unintentionally insensitive?
Wally smirked and nodded. "Yeah. One of my best buddies is bi. He came out to me back when we were kids. So, y'know, as far as the putting my foot in my mouth thing goes, that's probably never going to go away because I still say stupid shit now and I've been besties with a bisexual guy for ages."
"I'll keep that in mind," Piper said dryly. "Is your friend cute?" He'd said it teasingly, but Wally looked to be taking the throwaway comment seriously.
"He's supposed to be, yeah...and he's single at the moment and you're not that much older than us..."
"Wally, I was kidding. I don't want to date a twenty year old kid."
"You sure? Us twenty year old kids can be a lot of fun. Besides...this is my best friend we're talking about. I'd kind of like to see him set up with someone who wasn't an asshole to him, intentionally or otherwise. He keeps winding up with girls who mess with his head, and then this one asshole he's been on-again off-again with since we were in high school. I found out the other kid was bi when I walked in on him examining my friend's tonsils in the old Titans HQ. We had meetings in that room. You should not go that far with someone on a couch that's communal. We all had to sit there, and I don't care if you scotchguard it; that was still really inconsiderate."
"Wait, you're talking about setting me up with one of the former Teen Titans?" Piper had just assumed he was talking about one of his old friends from Nebraska or something. He couldn't for the life of him imagine which of the Titans Wally was referring to. Obviously one of the originals, if they went back that far...
Oh. Oh, Nightwing was one of the original Teen Titans...but no, even if the rumors were true and the kid was also into guys...Wally would never think to set the two of them up, would he?
Wally picked up on Piper's sudden interest in the idea, and he laughed. "Yeah, I'm not the best judge of male beauty or anything, but from what I hear my friend is quite the looker. You think you could see past youth and immaturity for one date?"
"I might...um, well...I'll give it some thought."
"Cool. I'll float the idea by him and see what he says. Maybe me and Connie could double with you guys."
Piper just managed to keep his displeasure at that suggestion from showing on his face, but it was a near miss. He didn't exactly have anything against Connie. She was a sweet girl, and when Piper talked to her one on one he actually rather liked her...but her and Wally together were a miserable combination. Quite possibly the last thing he wanted to do was be stuck in a confined space ostensibly trying to get to know an attractive superhero while Wally and Connie bickered with each other and tried to get any and all bystanders to take their side in the quarrel. Because Piper was friends with Wally, he'd be expected to side with the kid, but the thick skulled idiot was almost always in the wrong regarding how he treated women.
"That's...certainly an idea," Piper said, only slightly haltingly.
"She's been bugging me to take her someplace nice. Yeah, the more I think about this, the more fun it sounds. I'll let you know what Dick and Connie say."
Piper left Wally's place shortly thereafter, puzzling over his possible blind date with a former Teen Titan.