Chapter Text
Hajime Hinata was a painstakingly average high school student enrolled in a painfully mediocre high school reserve course. He had no talent or any kind of academic intelligence that would get him that extra leg ahead in real life. Going to school in a regular high school would be fine, but of course the main section of this high school was rather remarkable, but Hajime completely and totally lacked any sort of footing that he would use to stand out or even make the main course entrance exams. It was elitist after all, and only the best of the best got into it, having little to no connections with the lower class known as the reserve course. It wasn’t awfully fair, really.
Being born with talent and intelligence isn’t something someone can control, yet for some reason being born in that way allows them to treat those who aren’t as though they were something lesser. The lack of fairness was something Hajime found himself angry and frustrated over often, and even more furious over the fact that he couldn’t really do anything about it. He didn’t really have many friends, but that was mostly due to the fact that he studied the second he got home from school to about nine thirty at night, preferring not to go out on weekends and instead opting for staying at home, flicking through channels on the television or studying.
Hajime could probably pinpoint two people he could say were his friends, but Souda was annoying and Nanami was in the main course, so he barely got to see her. Hajime admittedly wasn’t particularly happy with this current arrangement of his schedule, but he didn’t really have any main driver to do anything else. Lacking any sort of talent that could get him far in life, his boringness was something that constantly bothered him, and his life’s complete and total absence of anything even mildly interesting left most things for Hinata in a drab monochrome.
This changed when he was at school, Monday, third period, when he was called to the school’s office, being informed by his tired and distressed-appearing father that his mother had been submitted to hospital upon finding she had leukaemia. Hajime had seen his mother had been somewhat ill for a large portion of the semester, but he really didn’t pick up on the signs as well as a kid that spent more time with their parents. He just thought she was getting older, and the stress of working long office hours was getting to her, and giving her the strange array of symptoms that Hajime now realised were pointing signs to the cancer now in her.
Here he was now, sitting in almost dead silence as he attempted to process the information that he’d been given. Hajime honestly didn’t know what to think. Was he to be worried? Concerned? He was definitely those things. His brain boiled at the thought of his mother being in hospital, anxiety churning in his stomach. Intrigued? He didn’t think he was supposed to be feeling that. Seeming nothing like this had ever happened to him, it filled his worry riddled heart with something that resembled curiosity, though he didn’t want to admit this to himself, so he buried it deep inside him, as to not feel ashamed.
The car stopping and starting was the only other input he was allowing himself, a strange blankness settling over him. What was going to happen? He didn’t know. He wasn’t close with either of his parents, as they worked long hours and seeming their son harboured none of their redeeming qualities or anything to get him a leg ahead in the world, he knew he was something of a disappointment. To everyone, really, himself included. Yet, obviously, his parents were his parents, and he worried about the state of his mom.
He hoped desperately that she was going to be okay and that everything was going to be fine. The only people in Hajime’s life that he could remember loosing were grandparents and a pet hamster here and there. He had never given himself time to think about what would happen if he lost someone like his own mother.
Not as though Hajime knew what was going on, either. Leukaemia, from what Hajime knew was a kind of cancer? Of the blood or of the brain he didn’t know, but he remembered seeing the bald heads of those who had contracted it in the past, something about the radiation treatment causing their hair to fall out.
He didn’t want to see his mom like that.
Some sort of anxiety was building in Hajime’s throat, making it harder to breathe. His father hadn’t said anything the whole car drive, which didn’t help the mounting concern that Hajime felt. He didn’t want to break the silence with an unnecessary inquiry, however, so he kept his mouth shut, watching the city shift and change around him.
While never having to go there himself, or for anyone he knew of, for that matter, Hajime still knew fully well where the hospital was- it was a huge building that had dozens of linking sections and departments, cars, bus and train lines looping in and around it, Hajime’s own bus line travelling in view of the buildings itself, the glass windows glinting in the midday sun.
Hajime needed to find himself, and his father, in the Emergency Room, this wasn’t where his mom was eventually going to, but Hajime wasn’t really inclined to ask his father for anything that he should try and figure out himself. If he had no redeeming qualities, the least he could do was to be self sufficient.
Parking in the car park and walking into the reception Hajime couldn’t help but notice the other people milling around, a lot of them looking as though they weren’t on much sleep. Hajime followed suit when his father walked up to the reception desk, queuing behind a few other tired looking people. After waiting for a few minutes, Hajime and his dad are faced with a middle-aged receptionist.
“I’m here for Ichika Hinata?” Hajime’s father said, glancing sideways at Hajime
“Relation to patient and I.D. please?” The receptionist inquired, her voice not unkind, however it was obvious she was made to work long hours, her eyes shadowed and puffy.
As Hajime’s dad handed over his driver's licence and informed her of his situation, Hajime watched a girl- about his age actually- trip and fall over, landing in a very compromising position, all of the things she was holding scattering everywhere. She apologised profusely to thin air, shaking her head and blushing deeply in embarrassment. He heard the receptionist sigh and figured it would be in his best interest to go over and help her pick up the bandages and small bottles of pills now rolling around on the floor.
“Aaah! You don’t have to do that! It was my fault! I’m so sorry I tripped!” The girl wailed, her eyes tearing up in what Hajime recognised as complete and utter shame
“It’s fine” he replied, his voice lacking much tone, rolling up an unravelled bandage and placing it back on her tray. The girl continued to apologise, her messily cut dark plum-coloured hair pooling around her.
He realised after a while that she’s still looking at him, and he glanced up to meet her gaze.
“Hm?” Hajime knew she wanted to ask him something, so he waited until she had wiped her eyes and pulled herself together
“C-can I please ask you a question?” The girl stutters
“Uh. Sure”
“Ah, um. You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to! But, um, who are you here for?” The girl asked, her eyes wide. Hajime felt himself stiffen slightly and the girl flinched “ahh I’m so sorry if I overstepped my boundaries! I’m so sorry!! Eee... you can cut my hair off and laugh at me if you want!”
“No, it’s just that I’m thinking...” Hajime trailed off, slightly irritated by the girls incessant apologies, but just decided that he should ignore it, and placed the last roll of bandages on the girl’s tray. “I’m here for my mom... I’m guessing you work here..?” He couldn’t tell if the girl was an official nurse or not purely because she seemed so young and was so timid
She nodded, standing up. She wasn’t particularly tall- she had to look up slightly to meet his eyes- and her long hair made her appear shorter in some ways. “I’m here on work experience! I-I’m still in high school but they made an exception for me. Ahh they really shouldn’t have I’m probably just a burden on them” she trailed off, her eyes trailing the floor.
Before Hajime could refute this, Hajime’s dad called him over after what felt like forever talking to the receptionist.
“We need to wait for a nurse to take us to see her” his father grumbled, looking around the room for a seat.
The receptionist looked over to them, glancing at the purple haired girl.
“Tsumiki-san! Go and take the Hinatas to their room. The patient's name is Ichika Hinata and she’s in ward 7 of the evaluation rooms.” The receptionist ordered, obviously speaking to the purple haired girl, who jolts, looking over to Hajime.
“O-okay” she warbled, teetering over to Hajime and his dad “follow me if you don’t mind, please! She might be in an appointment or scan right now so if she’s not there then I’m really sorry.” She appeared to direct this more at Hajime, and he wondered if his father has already met her, as he was the one who drove his mother here.
“Ah and this isn’t where she’ll be in a few hours! I’m sorry I didn’t mention this, but they’re moving her to a proper hospital room once they’ve finished the scans and tests.” The girl- who Hajime now knew as Tsumiki- began to walk off down the hall, looking back to check the Hinatas were still following her.
Hajime couldn’t help but look into some of the rooms, seeing some with blacked out curtains, but others with patients, who he occasionally made eye contact with (though he averted his gaze elsewhere whenever this happened) some were hooked up to I.V. monitors, sleeping, others were moving around or talking to loved ones.
A few turns and a stairwell later, Hajime found himself in the room where his mother lay. Tsumiki apologised again (for no reason) and Hajime thanked her.
“Oh! Thank you for being so kind to me. I hope I see you again Hinata-kun! I-I don’t mean that I want your mom to be sick anymore b-but-”
“I know what you mean don’t worry” Hajime replied, smiling softly as to assure the shy girl that her message was received. Her lips upturned and she made her leave, stumbling slightly as she trotted down the hallway.
“What a strange girl” Hajime’s dad chuckled slightly, his face hardening the second he looked into the room, knocking on the door and proceeding to enter, briskly crossing the room to where Hajime’s mother was sitting expectantly, her face lifting at the sight of her husband and son.
His mother was pale, her eyes tired. He knew she was sick, so it didn’t come as a surprise to him that she looked underweight. His dad hadn’t told him much as the results of the secondary testing weren’t through, but his mom was going to be kept in the hospital until they evaluated the severity of the cancer and then treated it accordingly.
Hajime didn’t like the thought of having to come back here again. He didn’t dislike Tsumiki or anything, it’s just the hospital felt cold and barren. It felt like a place you wouldn’t want to ever be, the white walls and smell of anaesthetic invading your senses.
A short conversation with his mother told the two Hinata's who weren’t in the hospital bed that she was suffering a larger plethora of symptoms. The initial testing showed Leukaemia, but they hadn’t yet worked out the type. Hajime didn’t know there was separate breeds of this kind of cancer, and he listened as his mother listed off the possibilities and what they said what the most likely diagnosis was- acute lymphatic leukaemia. She told Hajime and his father that they didn’t know what stage it was in and that she was inevitably going to have to go through chemotherapy.
“Ah” was the only reply that Hajime could muster that wasn’t a question. He avoided his parent’s gaze, blankly staring at the wall next to his mom’s face.
“They want to keep me in the observation ward for the time being- just until we get the results. Then they’ll decide what’s best from there” His mom informed, smiling so her eyes crinkled. She knew better than to assure him that everything was going to be okay- none of them knew that it was going to be the case. His mom’s condition had obviously been getting progressively worse. Whatever was going to happen, Hajime knew it didn’t guarantee a happy ending, though he tried to shut this possibility out of his mind. The idea of losing his mom was too much to bear, even if they weren’t very close.
The next day after a worry filled six periods of school, Hajime managed to find Nanami waiting for him near the central fountain, near where the main course building was, her face buried in a video game.
Nanami was an odd friend to have, but definitely not an unwelcome one. Hajime admits to seeing her as more than that at one point, but she made it clear to him that she wasn’t really into dating. He still sometimes felt himself blushing when she got a little too close or when she grabbed his hand to take him somewhere, but he ignored it and just decided he was happy with just having her as a friend. Being in the main course meant that Nanami was very intelligent, but Hajime knew that it was rather lonely, as everyone was usually so busy with the tremendous workload the main course offered, so he guessed he was really lucky to call her close to him. Besides, he would look really lame next to a main course student if they ever did date, so he figured that it would be far better to simply be friends and stick to that.
“Nanami-san?” Hajime tapped her shoulder lightly. Her greyish eyes slowly rose to meet his green
“Oh. Hello Hinata-kun” she yawned after saying this, pausing her video game. “What’s up?”
Hajime sat down next to her on the bench. He didn’t really know how to word this. What was he supposed to say? That his mom was in hospital with leukaemia? That she might die? How would that even sound?
“Ah well...” Hajime trailed off. He didn’t know if he should burden her with his issues or not.
Nanami turned her head of greyish-pink hair back to her video game, tilting her head slightly as if to say ‘go on..?’
Nanami was as close as Hajime could say to having a best friend, so he guessed he should trust her by telling her this.
“I went to the hospital yesterday. To see my mom” Hajime said, peering over at what Nanami was playing
“Oh yeah. She has cancer, I think.” Nanami commented. Hajime startled
“Wha- How did you know that?!” He exclaimed sharply, shooting Nanami an alarmed gaze
“My friend, Tsumiki-san, saw you yesterday. She knows we’re friends so she came and told me about how you showed up and helped her yesterday.” Nanami explained, mashing the buttons on her Nintendo, obviously in the middle of some kind of combo.
Ah, that made sense. Hajime sighed. So Tsumiki must be a main course student. He knew that main course students were often offered jobs and internships in places where they normally only accept high school graduates, but it never crossed his mind at the time of meeting her that Tsumiki may have also been a main course student. Seeming the two courses rarely mixed (with the exceptions of people like Nanami and Hajime) he wasn’t surprised that he hadn’t noticed her walking around the school grounds before or after school. The separate campuses almost guaranteed it.
Hajime knew that he probably looked strange to any passerby blankly staring into space while thinking but Nanami didn’t find it awkward or weird that Hajime sometimes did that. It’s not as though Hajime found her constant gaming and quiet personality strange however. Nanami also didn’t judge that Hajime didn’t have any particular talent or good grades. She just liked him for being him and for his deep knowledge of obscure underground video games. They’d met purely by chance when she ran into him while playing games, but their friendship was something that Hajime was deeply thankful for. She made him feel as though he actually had some kind of worth, and currently, when he was so worried about his mom, he needed a friend like that even more.
“Nanami-san? Can I play games with you for a bit? I need to get my mind off all that’s happened”
“Sure. I have my switch with me so we can play Smash Bros if you want.” Nanami took apart her Nintendo, handing one of previously-connected controllers to Hajime.
Hajime always lost when they played 1 v 1 on smash, even though Nanami always played the weaker characters on purpose, but Hajime liked how she didn’t really hold back for him, even though he sucked at games
They sat there playing for a while, Hajime losing battle after battle, even when he stacked a level 9 CPU on his team, but he was happy to be able to distract himself, even if it was only for an hour or so before his phone rang. Hajime felt his heart plummet when he read that the call was from his dad
“My dad’s calling.” Hajime said, Nanami nodded before turning back to her game.
His father had called him telling him that the test results were in and that he should come back to the hospital. He’d also texted a room number and directions to get there as well.
“Good luck Hinata-kun. Your mom will be okay, I think.” Nanami reassured him in her own offhanded way before Hajime parted ways with her to make his way into the bus that would take him to the hospital for the second time in the past two days.
Upon making it to the hospital, Hajime waited in line at the reception.
“Hi. I’m Hajime Hinata, Ichika Hinata’s son? I think my mom’s in the observation ward at the moment.” The receptionist glanced up at him
“Just fill these forms and provide ID” The receptionist said, placing a form in front of him and an open hand for Hajime to present his school ID.
Once Hajime had done this, he realised he actually had no idea where to go. He looked around for Tsumiki, but decided against actively going to find her and instead went with ambling through the hospital until he found the right room number. The hospital may be a large place, but he at least knew where not to go, plus, there was a small map on the wall of the reception. Hajime glanced at the text message his dad had sent him with the room number and traced his route out with his eyes on the map, making his way over to the elevator he thought would take him to where he needed to be.
He glanced at his phone, referencing the room number as he got out of the lift. This part of the hospital was slightly more well lit than the reception, windows allowing a lot more light in than the almost underground sliding doors. He heard coughing down the hall from him but decided to ignore it. Hajime’s dislike for hospitals had to be shoved out of the way so he could see his mom. He counted the numbers of the floor he was meant to be in.
31... 32... 33- Ah there it is. Most of the windows to the rooms in this section of the hospital were blacked out with small curtains, so Hajime was really going to feel it if it was the wrong room. He double checked the text message he got. Level 5 room 34. This had to be it. Hajime knocked and heard a soft “come in?” So he opened the door
“Ah hi mom. Thank god I got the right-“ Hajime stopped mid sentence.
Well, fuck.
“Hello! I don’t think I’m your mom.” The person in the hospital bed mused, their voice light with amusement. Hajime felt his face heat in shame
They were right. He definitely got the wrong room. This wasn’t his mom. How has he gone wrong? This was the right place! It said in the message. Level five, room 34. He grit his teeth in frustration
“Hey, are you okay? Do you need help?” The guy in the hospital bed asked. Hajime looked up to face him. He noticed he was around the same age as Hajime, his somewhat feminine face framed with shoulder length cotton-coloured hair that almost looked as though it had exploded out of his head.
“I got the wrong room” Hajime explained making his way to leave, red with embarrassment, averting his eyes from the other boy’s to not feel another wave of shame.
“Wait! I can help you find the right one if you want.” The white haired boy offered, “I mean. Only if you want help from a piece of trash like me. Haha” he added, placing down the book he was reading.
What was with hospitals and self-deprecating people?! Hajime desperately just wanted to see his mom and then get out of here, but his god awful luck had gotten him stuck in a hospital room with someone he didn’t even know. Last time it was Tsumiki, which Hajime guessed he could tolerate, now he’s stuck with some happy-go-lucky guy who he’d just completely humiliated himself in front of.
Hajime huffed slightly. He didn’t have any idea where to go and this boy was offering him a way to get there. He’d be stupid to refuse
“Okay. Fine.” Hajime bit out, re-entering the room. The cotton-haired boy’s face lit up, practically leaping out of bed. He was around the same height as Hajime, if not slightly taller. “Wait,” Hajime paused. The boy tilted his head again “are you even supposed to leave your room?”
“Huh. Well, I’m a long term guest so I’m probably allowed to! Who knows?” The boy chuckles, shrugging. Hajime did note that the boy wasn’t wearing typical hospital wear and instead was dressed in a white shirt, jeans and a large green and red hoodie. He remembered his mom wearing the blue hospital gown and everything. “Besides, with my luck, I won’t get caught.”
“Alright. My room is level 5 room 34. Obviously not in this building.” Hajime ignored the last, somewhat cryptic comment, waiting for the white haired boy to start walking off
“Oh! You must have gone to the wrong building! Aha easy mistake! I can take you to the right one if you want?” The boy smiled, almost radiating enthusiasm
“Sure” Hajime replied. The boy didn’t seem to have any misplaced intentions, just a little bit unreliable. Hajime hoped he’d take him to the right place
“Man, I wonder what kind of luck it was to have you coming into my room. An awful person such as myself doesn’t normally get visitors!” The white haired boy mused aloud as he pressed the elevator button. Hajime pretended not to hear this comment, entering the lift in silence.
“Ah. Do you go to Hope’s Peak Academy by chance?” The boy asked, as the elevator came to a stop
“What? How would you know the school I went to?” Hajime exclaimed.
“Call it a lucky guess. Besides, how could I not know the uniform of such a hope-filled school! All of the students in it have so much talent, and that talent will eventually end up becoming the conqueror of despair! All their hopes will combine together, into an ultimate force that nothing can stand against!” The white haired boy’s eyes glinted with something obsessive as he said this, arms extended in an open way, as if to put across his point more. His expression kind of off-putted Hajime, and he shifted away from the other boy slightly as they exited the elevator. The boy noticed Hajime’s discomfort and his face suddenly switched to one of dramatic concern,
“Oh, I probably overstepped my welcome there didn’t I. Man. I suck.” He looked dejectedly down, sighing, falling into pensive silence.
“Uh. Yeah. Anyway, where do we go from here?” Hajime asked, changing the topic as they’d eventually made themselves to the reception. The overly friendly hospital boy put his finger to his chin, peering around, his face lighting up again when he obviously came to a conclusive answer
“Ah! Follow me.” The boy gestures as they exit the building. He explained to Hajime that he had to re-sign in at the reception and present his I.D. for a second time. The pale boy peered over his shoulder when Hajime once again handed over his identification to another tired looking receptionist.
“And you?” The receptionist looked pointedly at the white haired boy.
“Oh? I’m a patient! Here’s my wristband” the boy smiled, presenting his wrist to the lady, which had a few plastic bands wrapped around it, each displaying different sets of information. The receptionist sniffed and nodded, affirming to the two boys that they were good to go, and the teens made their way back up to another elevator. Once they were inside, a level up, a nurse entered with a trolley of towels and pillows, tripping over her own feet a little as she made her way into the lift.
She looked at the two boys, and her face lit up with recognition. Hajime hadn’t forgotten her face either, and apparently the boy next to him recognised her too. Tsumiki’s face turned into a timid smile. The boy next to Hajime tensed slightly, but his expression was that he probably knew Tsumiki too.
“Ah! K-Komaeda-kun you’re not meant to be out of your room.” Tsumiki chided, in an out of character sort of fashion, then switching back to her normal demeanour “b-but it’s not like I have the right to tell you that. I’m sorryyy!” She squealed
The white haired boy- that Hajime now knew as Komaeda-chuckled softly “I’m sorry. You shouldn’t worry about someone like me. Besides, this guy stumbled across my room because he was lost. I’m just taking him where he needs to be”
“I see. Um. If you want I can take Hinata-kun to his room? I-I think I know where his mom is” Tsumiki stutters.
Hajime didn’t know the relationship between Tsumiki and Komaeda but he at the very least knew that they had met before. He didn’t know which he’d rather, but Tsumiki looked as though she was busy so he decided to step in before Komaeda could say anything
“I’m fine. You seem busy” Hajime said, Komaeda agreeing next to him, saying something about how ‘Hope filled’ Tsumiki is and how ‘a guy like him has nothing but time on his hands and that he’s more than happy to help’
Hajime hoped that he didn’t have to come back to the hospital that often. The people here were strange.
Finally, after what felt like forever, the elevator came to a stop and Komaeda and Hajime both exited, and the two boys began to count the numbers to Hajime’s mom’s room.
“It’s level five, room 34, right?” Komaeda asked, pointing to a door with that number on it
“This is the room, yeah.” Hajime affirmed, knocking and hearing his father’s familiar voice.
“I guess this is goodbye then, Hinata-kun. It was nice meeting you” Komaeda smiled, but something about it seemed kind of sad. Hajime put this to the back of his mind. His mom was who he was here to see and the test results were in. He had to know if she was going to be okay
“Yeah” Hajime replied, opening the door. Komaeda looked inside, waved, and then walked off back down to the elevator.
“Hajime! You’re here- but you’re late. I was about to ring to check if you were okay but it’s good you’re finally here.” His dad’s face lit up slightly. He was sitting next to a bed with Hajime’s mom in it, her face warm as she looked at her son
“Sorry” Hajime muttered. “Have the test results come back?”
“Yes. They were right. It’s acute, stage 2 lymphatic leukaemia.” Hajime’s mother explained, sighing. “I’m going to have to undergo chemotherapy, but I’m allowed to go home, which is good. I will have to come back here fairly often though.”
Hajime’s father nodded grimly as his mother explained this, her tired eyes matching his.
“But to change the subject, who was that boy? He didn’t seem like a nurse. A friend of yours from school?” Hajime’s father directed this question at Hajime
“Oh. I was late because I went to the wrong building and wound up meeting him. That’s why I was late. I don’t know who he is”
“So he helped you get here? What a sweet boy” Hajime’s mom smiled.
“You could say that” Hajime said. In honesty, Hajime didn’t know what to think of the white haired boy. He seemed nice enough, and enthusiastic to help Hajime to get where he needed to be, but there was something kind of off about him, and the amount of wristbands on his arm was far more than what his mother had. Hajime was glad that he was probably never going to see Komaeda again- he felt mentally exhausted after only speaking to him for a few minutes.
“Well that was very nice of him. I hope you said thank you.” Hajime’s mom said. Hajime shrugged. He’d forgotten to do that, but there wasn’t really going to be a chance to again, so he dropped the thought of doing so “we’re all going to be able to go home tonight. I have to come back in a few days so they can begin the treatment though.” Hajime’s mom put her hand on Hajime’s father’s, sitting up more in her bed.
They had back and forth conversation for a few minutes, and eventually his parents decide to take their leave from the hospital, sign out and go home, making the appointment times with a doctor and meandering to their car.
Hajime was worried for a multitude of reasons, but one of them was definitely that he might have to change schools. Hope's peak, if you were in the main course, was very much affordable, but reserve course students had to pay a lot of money, and the cost of the treatment for his mom and her loss of her ability to work meant that Hajime would most likely be forced to attend another school. While this didn’t mean much to him in terms of his actual school, he was really worried that he’d lose Nanami as a friend. She was the only person who really gave him worth, and losing her would hit really hard.
Hajime pondered this in the backseat of the car, the ride home filled with his parent’s chatter in the front. He was too tired to bother listening in, so he flicked through his phone and boredly looked at whatever had first showed up on his social media feed.
Once he got home, and after the family had dinner, Hajime fell into bed. It wasn’t even that late, but he was so exhausted from the day’s events that the only thing he could think to do was sleep.
Lying in his bed the day replayed in Hajime’s mind. A lot had happened. School, Chiaki, getting the wrong room, and seeing his mom again. His mom was sick, and even though it hadn’t been brought up yet, Hajime knew that a lot of changes were going to happen, and that he was definitely going back to the hospital more than he would ever have initially wanted to. It made him feel uneasy. Yes, the tiny inkling of curiosity remained, but after meeting someone like Tsumiki, or even Komaeda, Hajime didn’t know if he should feel that at all anymore.
One of the last things Hajime thought about before he lost consciousness was the sad, lost look that Komaeda gave him when he was saying goodbye, and Hajime wondered if Komaeda was feeling the same as him.
Completely and utterly hopeless.