Archive of Our Own

Two o'clock on a Tuesday afternoon.

If Kaneki weren't inside helping Hinami with her reading at that time, then he was bound to be outside going for a short walk. With the kind of circumstances they were under now, it was difficult and even unwise for them to maintain any sort of routine, but it wasn't that hard for Tsukiyama to interpret a pattern from Kaneki's behaviors. He would have felt like he was slacking if he were unable to read what his prey was thinking, to know where they were going to go even before they knew for themselves.

Other ghouls would camp in alleyways and jump at whatever pitiable human happened to cross their paths. To him, such ghouls were as bad as the humans they were devouring. To live without a refined sense of taste was no life at all. One's aesthetic senses were what defined them. He would rather cut off his own tongue than settle for the coarse, unpalatable meat of a common human the way that so many others did.

They went after whatever was easy, calling his way “the hard way.” He found that laughable. Nothing seemed hard with the right motivation. If they tried things his way, he was sure that they would see the difference and understand what they were missing. Humans hunted them and treated their existence like a disease because of their eating habits. Ghouls were forced to live differently because of that single, solitary reason. If eating were such an integral aspect of their being – the thing that defined them, even – then he believed that it should be treated with such importance.

He wasn't willing to live and die by table scraps.

He wanted only the best; the rarest, the most beautiful, the fittest, the smartest.

Finding all of those qualities in one human was difficult, but when he managed to find them, he would pursue them with an unseen sort of relentlessness. It was always worth it. Even when he tasted something that didn't agree with him, it only helped to sharpen his palate and refine his sense of taste as a gourmet. How else would he know if something was good if he didn't know what wasn't?

That was why, when he first caught whiff of Kaneki's scent that fateful day in the ghoul café, he knew instantly, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that Kaneki was a thing worth pursuing. He was curious about him, wanted to have a little taste. Sharing him with his fellow discerning epicureans would have given him an assured boost in status, but he couldn't bear the thought of sharing him when he realized what a precious specimen he was.

Kaneki was a treasure unlike any other. He was a diamond that yet required polishing, but once he had the dirt cleaned from him, he would shine more brilliantly than the stars, would burst with an unknown flavor.

His first taste wasn't enough to satisfy him. As he was, Kaneki was already finer than anything else he'd ever had, but he could tell that more work could be put into his preparation.

Once Kaneki was thoroughly prepared, brought to the peak of ripeness, then... That was when Tsukiyama would finally allow himself to sink his teeth into him.

Until then, he was going to follow him as always.

On the days like this when Kaneki went for an afternoon walk, it never seemed as though he set out with a destination in mind, going wherever his feet took him. Naturally, Tsukiyama had already memorized his favorite stops; the places where he was most likely to encounter him if he happened to go out. That was why, when he found him meandering past the flower shop on the corner, it was no coincidence.

Tsukiyama had only ever seen him go into that shop once. After that – for whatever reason – he seemed hesitant to enter it again, always choosing to slowly walk by instead, admiring the flowers in the window with an almost forlorn sort of expression. If he stopped, it was only to take a closer look at the flowers they had in the cart outside the store.

He wasn't sure whether Kaneki had an interest in flowers. He started bringing them to the apartment before he ever saw Kaneki come around the flower shop, so he had to wonder if his decision to bring flowers had anything to do with Kaneki's interest in the shop.

He was hard to read.

Though Kaneki tried to hide it around them, everyone saw what a terrible look haunted his face. It was like something had been physically torn from him; no matter what they did, nothing seemed capable of filling the gap between the Kaneki of then and now.

Kaneki was Kaneki no matter how drastically his appearance had changed, but Tsukiyama had the suspicion that if he ate him now, he would leave an awful, bitter taste on his tongue.

Convinced that it was for the sake of preserving Kaneki's taste, he continued to bring flowers to the apartment whenever he could, trying his best to determine which ones Kaneki was fondest of. Usually, those flowers went to Hinami or were taken by one of the others and placed in a vase before he ever got the chance to personally give them to him, but he was sure that the gesture hadn't gone unnoticed or unappreciated.

On a Tuesday afternoon, around two o'clock, he found him near that flower shop just as expected.

The sun was out. Tsukiyama was wearing a new dress shirt and tie combo he hadn't had the opportunity to wear yet. Overall, he was looking good and feeling good. It was time to get to work.

The plan: lull Kaneki into lowering his defenses.

He wasn't going to eat him today – heavens no. Of course, the temptation would be strong, but there was still much work to be done before that could happen. Getting Kaneki to trust him had been quite easy in the beginning, but then he went and ruined it with his own impulsiveness. If he'd only waited a little longer, he would've known that there were depths to Kaneki's flavor that could be unlocked through patience. He knew that now, but his past mistakes had cost him Kaneki's trust. Earning it back was going to take more than flowers.

Keeping himself at a safe distance, observing him from a spot across the street, he watched as Kaneki slowed near the flower shop. When he stopped to look at the day's fresh selection of flowers displayed outside, trying to act natural, Tsukiyama crossed the street. To passersby, he probably looked like a right gentleman, but they couldn't hear the thoughts in his head, couldn't hear the way his heartbeat began to race faster and faster as he approached the innocent-looking boy with the eyepatch.

What kind of face was he making while he studied those flowers? As he approached, he became determined to see it for himself.

Taking a breath to cool his head, he sidled up next to him. To his surprise, Kaneki didn't turn to look at him, his attention so focused on the rows of flowers in front of him that he let go of his awareness. Not one to question his luck, Tsukiyama grasped the opportunity and leaned a little forward to peer at his face, looking for his expression.

Seeing the look he had made his own excitement plummet. Even with the sun out, Kaneki looked like a man followed by his own personal rain cloud, caught in his own world where he experienced nothing but dark thoughts. On rare occasions, he saw him smiling. It was usually when he was with Hinami. Tsukiyama couldn't blame him. Even he found her youthful charm irresistible. But now it seemed like Kaneki was wearing a frown more often than not.

If flowers couldn't do it, then they had to hurry up and take care of Aogiri and the CCG for him. No one could get in Tsukiyama's way when he had his sights set on something. He would destroy them; anyone who tried to stop Kaneki, anyone who hurt him. Kaneki's everything belonged to him, even his happiness.

Finally realizing his presence, Kaneki gave a start and took a step back.

“Tsukiyama...” His eyes scanned him suspiciously and then he took a look around as if he had just remembered that he was in public. “How did you find me?”

Find him? He'd never let him out of his sight.

“Nonsense. It is but by mere coincidence that I meet you here today. You can thank the stars for aligning in just the right pattern to make this meeting possible. It is destiny!”

Kaneki looked up, shielding his visible eye from the sun. “Stars, huh...? I don't see any.”

Tsukiyama choked on his tongue for a second but quickly recovered. “...It's a figure of speech, Kaneki-kun; just an idiom to describe the inevitability that the two of us be together.”

His words didn't seem to be reaching him as his attention quickly drifted back to the flowers he'd been looking at, acting as though Tsukiyama weren't there at all. “Is that so,” he said, indifferent.

Although his pulse was racing, his hunger reaching an almost unbearable peak, it wouldn't do if he lost his cool. Reining in his composure, he took a look at the delicate white-and-purple flowers Kaneki seemed to be so interested in. While he enjoyed flowers, Tsukiyama wasn't bold enough to call himself an expert, so he couldn't say with one hundred percent certainty what type of flower they were. As he leaned a little closer, he noticed that Kaneki didn't bother backing away this time. “These look like irises. Am I right?”

Thrown somewhat out of his element by Tsukiyama's sudden observation, he turned his head, trying to find where its tag was. Gently pushing aside the bunches of flowers in front of it, he found the handwritten tag they'd been obscuring. With surprise in his voice, he said, “Yeah. It looks like you're right. They're also...” His brows flew up in horror when he saw the price. “One for a thousand yen? Isn't that insane?”

Tsukiyama chuckled softly and patted him on the shoulder. “Didn't you know? Some of the flowers they have out here have bulbs. They're for planting in a garden.”

“Oh...” He looked aside, looking a little troubled. Pulling himself together, he swatted at the hand on his shoulder. “How was I supposed to know that? I can't see the part with the bulb. They look just like the ones they have inside like this.”

He didn't mean to, but it appeared that he made Kaneki angry. Trying to keep Kaneki's mood up was a difficult and unsteady balancing act. He was already on rocky terms with him. If he didn't cherry-pick his words, he could lose him before he even got the chance to begin, but he didn't always have the time to think about what to say.

“Do you want me to get them for you?” It was spoken quickly, but it sounded like the right thing to his own ears.

Kaneki turned to give him a look. “I'm not a girl, you know.”

Was that not the right thing to say? He wasn't wrong, was he...? Kaneki did like flowers, didn't he? The possibility that he had been wrong the whole time crept into his mind, but he he quickly forced it away. Now wasn't the time to be questioning whether he had been right or wrong. The only thing he had to be focused on was pleasing Kaneki. With the fickle nature of Kaneki's personality, it was a given that he would encounter failure once or twice, but as long as he didn't give up, he was bound to strike gold eventually.

“Non, of course not,” he said, straightening up. “I'll let you think about it. We can pick them up on the way back if you'd like.”

Kaneki continued to stare. “...On the way back? We? I don't remember inviting you to come along with me.”

Well, that was true and all, but. “Now that we've run into each other like this, don't you think it would be a shame to not spend some time together? Fate went through the trouble of arranging this opportunity. Despite whatever misgivings you have about me now, I assure you that I have no interest in harming you today.”

...That didn't even feel right as it came off his tongue. Kaneki had every right to look at him like he didn't believe him because he didn't even believe himself with the way that sounded.

To his surprise, Kaneki gave a small, permitting nod. “Whatever. We're in public, so I expect you'll be on your best behavior anyway. Just don't act up or I'll have to permanently remove you from my sight.”

He didn't seem to have the energy to sound as threatening as he usually did. It was strange, but Tsukiyama was willing to overlook that for the moment, pleased that Kaneki hadn't simply told him to get lost. For the sake of endearing himself to Kaneki, he would've listened to him if he really wanted him to leave him alone. Obeying him and doing the unexpected went a long way towards securing Kaneki's trust.

He'd been looking for a chance like this for a while; a chance to repeat that day they spent together that ended with an awful impression at the secret restaurant. So far, he had been doing his best to make it up to him, and, though his best hadn't worked yet, he felt certain that Kaneki would come around eventually.

Kaneki looked unsure what to do now that he had him following him. Having watched him in the past, Tsukiyama knew that Kaneki never really went anywhere on these walks, aimlessly going from one street to the next. Now that he wasn't attending university any longer, it seemed like he was really missing his human friends and the way things used to be. Even if he were surrounded by people he didn't know, going out like this must have been his only way to satisfy his need for human interaction. In a way, Tsukiyama felt like he understood...

As they left the flower shop and turned the corner, the people around them all looked like food to Tsukiyama. Some were definitely better suited for eating (and some not worth even a second glance), but there were moments where he would stop and realize that he was alone. He only trusted himself around other ghouls. Given the type of unsavory sort they often tended to be, it was hard for him to find someone he could even speak with on an even level.

At that time, he said whatever he needed to in order to make Kaneki trust him, but that didn't mean that things he said didn't have any truth in them. Rize was a disgusting sow of a woman and he was glad that she wasn't around to sink her claws into his precious prey, but without her around, he didn't really have anyone else who shared his interests. In the end, she hadn't been worth his time, but... Even if it had lasted for a very short time, he had someone he would've called a friend.

And she was gone now.

Knowing that there was a part of Kaneki that still mourned her loss, he wished that he could kill her again himself.

“So... Where are we going?”

Snapping back to his senses, Tsukiyama looked around. He was glad that he was unable to hear what he was thinking, but he still looked at him with one brow quirked, like he could read his face and suspected that he was thinking something untoward. It stung. It really did.

“I thought we could get some coffee.”

Kaneki's glare intensified. “As long as you aren't thinking of slipping me something again...”

“Please, Kaneki-kun, you know I'm not like that anymore. We're friends now! Amis! It's a fine day to sip a warm cup of coffee with someone you're close to.”

The repulsed look Kaneki was giving him was less than encouraging. He dropped it with a click of his tongue and begrudgingly kept following alongside him. It looked like there was still something on his mind, but he had yet to voice it. “I guess we'll... have to find another place,” he said, and Tsukiyama slowly realized that he had to be thinking about Anteiku. “I'm used to making my own at the apartment now. Do you know of a good place around here?”

Tsukiyama gave a start, surprised by Kaneki's sudden willingness. A little thrill shook in his chest, making his heart tremble when he noticed how much this was beginning to feel like a date. This could be a date. He and Kaneki were doing normal people things together, and it was exciting. He only hoped that Kaneki would find this as fun as he did.

“You okay...?”

Heart jumping to his throat, Tsukiyama nodded dumbly, trying to school his expression into something appropriate, fearing that he was letting his excitement show on his face. Since Kaneki was giving him another one of those wary stares, he figured that he'd already blown it. If only Kaneki could see things from his perspective. He had no idea how delicious and perfect he was.

“Is that concern I hear in your voice?”

“Well, you looked like you were gonna pass out for a second there or something. Do I already need to remind you that we're in public? Don't let yourself get carried away. If you get too excited, you might get exposed,” he said, subtly pointing up at his eyepatch.

So... He was concerned, wasn't he? One could argue that he just didn't want him to give away the fact that he was a ghoul while he was around to get caught up in his mess, but Tsukiyama was going to try to look at things optimistically.

“No need to worry about me,” he said with a smile. “I know of a fine place around here. The owners are human, but their blends are exceptional.”

Hearing that the café they were heading toward was run by humans seemed to put him more at ease. To Kaneki, it seemed that all ghouls were dangerous until proven otherwise, but he didn't have the same sort of fear when it came to humans. There was a different sort of fear there, but it wasn't an active one. As long as they kept the nature of their identities hidden, the only humans they really had to worry about were the maniacs from the CCG. Everyone else looked like harmless fodder with the latent potential to self-destruct if they lit their fuses.

The café he had in mind was just a little place, snugly squeezed in between two businesses. As more people became aware of the quality of their coffee and pastries, more people began to visit the café. Now, it had reached the point where there were usually more customers than could comfortably fit inside the establishment. Anyone who went there for a date would have been disappointed by how crowded it could get. Usually, if two people went together, one would have to wait outside while the other went inside to place their orders. There were small, quaint tables with umbrellas outside for those who were waiting, but even those tended to get claimed very quickly.

Being Kaneki's first time visiting the café, Tsukiyama was determined to clear the entire place if he had to in order to get him inside. The spectacular aroma of the brewing coffee was a thing that needed to be experienced by every newcomer.

“That... sure looks like a lot of people,” Kaneki said hesitantly, noticing the swarm of people as they neared.

“Most of them are just waiting,” he assured. “Just stay close to me.”

Kaneki had no choice but to stay close to him. With such limited space, there was nowhere else for him to go unless he wanted to physically push his way through the people around them to go look around at anything.

“I can't even tell where the line is,” he said, standing on his toes, trying to look above the people in front of them to see the menu. With a sigh, he settled back onto his heels. “I guess there's no point in looking at the menu, is there? There's only one choice now.”

Tsukiyama thought it would be a nice change if he brought him there, but Kaneki just looked disappointed.

He couldn't relate.

They had one choice, but was it really that bad? That one choice was a million choices on its own. Sure, they couldn't have whipped cream or caramel sauce or whatever else the humans thought they needed in their coffee, but there was a depth to black coffee that was missing in all of those other options. There were millions of blends made from all kinds of beans and their natural flavors were hidden and lost when they threw in unnecessary accompaniments.

Despite how crowded it was, he knew that they would get taken care of quickly. He was sure that Kaneki would perk up when he got a taste of their coffee, but he wished that there were something he could do in the meantime. That sullen look he had all the time was just going to spoil his taste.

Thinking hard about what he could do, his eyes were drawn to a couple who were leaving the café. Holding her cup of coffee in both hands, the girl laughed happily as she looked up at her boyfriend who had an arm affectionately wrapped around her waist.

He looked at Kaneki.

They were in public, yes, but that also meant that Kaneki wouldn't be able to whip out his kagune and punish him if he did something unexpected.

Swallowing past the lump in his throat, he slowly slid his arm behind Kaneki, slipping it around his waist, resting his hand against his hip. Immediately, Kaneki's face changed and he looked up at him with his brows drawn.

“What do you think you're doing this time?”

“I'm helping us blend in,” he explained casually. “Have a look around. There are only couples here. The two of us would look really out of place together unless we were a couple.”

“C... C...” Kaneki's eyes grew wider as he struggled to spit out the word, his white hair making his skin look particularly pale as his face turned an alarmed shade of red. He quickly gave up and looked away to hide his face. “Don't go saying such stupid things. Don't you even realize how embarrassing you are?”

No matter how cruel he tried to make himself sound, Tsukiyama could still hear it – the voice of the old Kaneki, the one who got embarrassed by the smallest of compliments, who'd fidget uncomfortably when he got too close. For whatever reason, Kaneki wasn't pushing him away. Being so close to him, his heart was going crazy, able to detect his unique scent even over the fragrant smell of coffee that filled the café.

It was a shame. He was right there – literally right there under his hands – but he could do nothing about his hunger while surrounded by so many people. Perhaps that was why Kaneki allowed him to keep his hand there, teasing him with the knowledge that he would be helpless to do anything more than this in their present situation.

Keeping himself held together until they reached the front of the line was a true trial of his self-control. Before they reached the counter, Kaneki lightly elbowed him in the side to dislodge him and began to wander away to watch them prepare the coffee, back to pretending like they weren't together.

After he paid and they got their coffee, he didn't have a reason to put his arm around Kaneki again, but the desire unexpectedly remained. He watched Kaneki lift the cup to his lips, watched as he released a sigh with a small smile after taking his first sip, finding it to his liking.

Ah, Tsukiyama thought.

He'd made so many clumsy attempts to make Kaneki lower his guard, but... Even if one small attempt worked for a minute or two, it made him feel accomplished. Those little minutes of Kaneki's happiness were wasted in the grander scheme of Tsukiyama's plans, though, so he couldn't understand why it left him feeling so pleased to see Kaneki smile like that. It just meant he was on the right track, he assured himself. One minute of Kaneki's happiness meant that he was one step closer to...

“So? Where to now?” Kaneki asked. “If there's nowhere else you want to stop, I guess we could just walk back now.”

“N-No-” Tsukiyama said quickly. He'd let himself get so lost in his thoughts that he hadn't even thought about where they should go after the café. In a way, he was glad that Kaneki had interrupted him while he was thinking. He would have to think more deeply about the unusual feeling he had later because, at the moment, he really wasn't sure where that train of thought had been heading.

Eyes roaming the street, he recalled a good place where they could go. “There's a great used bookstore down the street from here,” he said. “I'm not normally that interested in buying books that other people have handled, but they have a very nice selection of old and rare books that you might be interested in.”

Taking another careful sip of his hot coffee, Kaneki nodded, looking neither excited nor unwilling to accompany him to the bookstore he spoke of. At the moment, he simply appeared to be comfortable with doing anything as long as he didn't need to think about it too heavily. Anything that got his mind off of the things that had been bothering him was a good thing, Tsukiyama thought.

The bookstore was on the opposite side of the street, a little ways down. It didn't take them long at all to reach, the coffee still hot in their cups by the time they found themselves standing outside of it. Tilting his head to the side, Kaneki wondered aloud if it were alright for them to bring their coffee inside with them. It looked like a small store from the outside, but it was deceptively deep, packed to max capacity with books everywhere; fitting tightly next to each other on the shelves, on the floor, and even on top of the shelves and counter. If anyone were to spill something, the chance of it ending up on a priceless old book were high.

They hesitated outside for a moment, but they didn't see any signs that indicated that that they weren't allowed to bring them in. As if his conscience resurrected his old self, Kaneki looked around the place where they entered and went straight up to the first (and only) person he could find. Thankfully, unlike the café, the bookstore didn't attract nearly as many people. Perhaps its intellectual atmosphere wasn't the sort of thing young couples were looking for. That was fine. There was something about being one of the few people who knew about the store that Tsukiyama enjoyed.

From being there a few times before, he knew that the old man Kaneki went up to was the owner. He heard a rumor that he was an accomplished author in his own right, but he had yet to hear his name. Tsukiyama liked that. Before, he might not have been able to understand it, but now he appreciated the fact that someone with esteem or power didn't need to flaunt it or boast about it.

Kaneki was that way. Tsukiyama was willing to admit that Kaneki had already far surpassed him in ability, but he didn't hold it over him.

It was nice. But it was also foolish. He'd already warned him once, so Kaneki had to be careful, otherwise he was going to find himself on the end of his fork.

...Tsukiyama briefly stopped to wonder why he had ever bothered to warn him in the first place, but Kaneki was back at his side before the thought could progress.

“What a nice guy,” he said quietly, lifting his cup to take another sip. “It seems like it'll be fine. He said that he normally discourages drinks, but he recognized you, so he trusts that we won't get anything on the books. Looks like your presence actually came in handy for a change. Who would've thought?”

Tsukiyama laughed awkwardly, scratching his jaw with his free hand. “I thought the coffee would warm you up, but you're still so cold to me.”

Kaneki raised his cup to his lips with an amused smirk. “You make it really easy. It's like you want me to tease you. Maybe you should...” He moved a little closer, getting up onto his toes so he could get up close to his ear to finish in a quiet voice, “be more aware of the way you make me feel.”

The situation felt familiar, but it was like the tables had suddenly turned and Tsukiyama couldn't remember where he'd put his fork. What was that supposed to mean? What did that mean? His thoughts instantly began to race and his pulse sped off ahead of him before he could even understand why he was reacting in such a way. He opened his mouth, but only a pitiful croak of a noise came out, and Kaneki was already walking away before he could get a word out.

He followed him into the store silently, swallowing down a few gulps of his coffee in an attempt to remove the persistent lump from his throat. It wasn't right for him to let himself get so flustered while he was still in pursuit. It had to be because of how close Kaneki brought himself. He could even feel the warmth of Kaneki's breath against his skin, could smell the bitterness of the coffee lingering on his tongue. Even moments later, he still found himself with that scent haunting him, unable to be shaken from his senses.

This was bad... It was getting a little difficult to breathe. He could feel the temperature rising under his collar and it wasn't just from the heat of his drink.

There was nowhere for him to go right now without making his situation obvious. As they retreated farther into the dimly-lit bookstore, the towering shelves on either side of them felt like they were getting closer, suffocating him. The ground felt much closer, the back of the store much farther away.

Be calm. Be cool. Calmato...

It wasn't fucking working.

If he didn't pull himself together soon, his eyes were going to change on their own. It wouldn't normally be this bad. He was pretty good at keeping his composure, but that all seemed to change when he was around Kaneki. His scent made him go wild with hunger, awakening a part of him that he wasn't sure he would be able to control. He knew that he could've been partially to blame, letting himself get carried away by the feeling he was experiencing, but there was little he could do about it once it got a hold of him.

“Are you alright, Tsukiyama-san? Is the coffee not agreeing with you?” Kaneki innocently asked, turning to him with a smile that was anything but innocent.

He took a breath, breathed in the air around him that smelled like old books, coffee, and...

“There's no one else in the store right now,” Kaneki said, tempting him, “but you know it wouldn't look too good if that nice owner came back here and found an eviscerated body slumped against the bookcases – and I'm not talking about mine.”

Kaneki's warning had a somewhat sobering effect on him. It didn't exactly calm him down, but it did make him stop to reconsider whether he really wanted to eat him at the moment. Of course, he wanted to eat him, but...

Right now?

No, yes, he was right. Yes. Kaneki was right. Now was not the time or the place.

What had he been thinking? There was still work to be done. He couldn't eat Kaneki just yet. He was getting ahead of himself, getting worked up over nothing.

“W-what kind of monster do you take me for, Kaneki-kun?” he asked, nervously running a hand over his crimson tie, straightening out some invisible wrinkles, trying to take his mind off of the alluring scent around him. Kaneki and coffee and books. There was something so pleasant about that combination. In fact, if he could just stay there in that moment forever, wrapped in that fragrance, he...

Huh? ...Forever?

That didn't mean he was willing to give up on eating him. That was the whole reason he had been pursuing him for so long. Nothing was going to change that now.

Taking a look around, Kaneki found one of the step stools and brought it over. “You look like you're in the middle of an existential crisis or something, so I'm just going to leave you to that. Feel free to look at books with me whenever you come out of it.”

That was a great idea, actually. Reading generally helped him get his mind off of other things. If he just found something to read, he could try to ignore that smell and get his head back where it belonged. Kaneki needed the step stool to reach the highest shelf on the bookcase, but Tsukiyama found it easy enough to read the titles and reach for them at his height. It was quite cute to watch Kaneki as he stood on his toes and struggled to read what the titles were. The lights at the back of the store were very dim, their shades covered in old dust, so he couldn't blame him for having some trouble.

“Is there something you're looking for in particular?” he asked, realizing that they were in a section of the store that he wouldn't normally visit. He enjoyed novels with drama, mystery, and complex psychological themes, and, from what he'd gathered, Kaneki liked the same sort of books, so it was surprising that he would be looking through a section filled with material about botany and plant biology.

Leaving his cup on the shelf, Kaneki's fingers grazed along the spines and he squinted his eyes, trying to read. Eventually, he stopped at one of them and made a curious face, then pulled it from the top, tugging it from between the surrounding books. “This might be the thing,” he pondered aloud, slowly getting down from the stool.

Equally curious, Tsukiyama looked over his shoulder at the book he was holding, his eyes searching for the title. The cover was nothing to write home about, all plain and brown with just the text, but as soon as his eyes grasped the title, he understood why Kaneki had been looking for such a book. “Ikebana, hm? Très magnifique. With this, you should be able to find out what meaning the iris has. That's what you were after, yes?”

Looking down at the book, Kaneki smiled, and Tsukiyama realized that his heartbeat had slowed from its wild pace. When he saw him smile, there was just a tight, unexplainable feeling in his chest instead. It seemed that he was actually enjoying himself. Though Kaneki was still on the menu, he was rather nice to be around. His personality had a very complex flavor with many subtle notes. Though he'd been made more bitter by his experiences, moments like this showed that he still had a delicate sweetness to him as well.

After leafing through it a little, Kaneki decided that it was worth a more thorough look. “Is there a place where we can sit down?”

Tsukiyama recalled seeing a chair in the store at one point, but it wasn't anywhere in sight and he didn't feel like hunting it down and awkwardly dragging it halfway across the store. Still, if it were for Kaneki, he would be willing to do anything. When he suggested finding it for him, Kaneki insisted that it was alright. To his surprise, Kaneki offered him the stool and said that he would be fine with sitting on the floor.

It was unthinkable that Kaneki would do anything for his sake, so he stood there for a few seconds in dumbfounded silence, unsure what to do about his offer. Before Kaneki could do as he said, he counter-insisted that he have the stool and moved it over to him with his heel.

“It's your first time here,” he said, trying to rationalize his decision. “You shouldn't have to get dust on your clothes on my account. Besides, I wouldn't feel like a gentleman if I took it.”

“If you say so,” Kaneki laughed, looking at him funny. “I'm just kind of surprised. I treat you nicely for a change and you don't want it? What's up with that?”

Because it was confusing.

He had no reason to doubt the sincerity of Kaneki's kindness, but after the things that he'd done to him, it made him feel like there had to be some kind of catch. Or... Maybe his tactics actually had been working. Maybe Kaneki was starting to warm up to him as a result of his own friendly advances.

Despite all of the effort he'd made, that still sounded unlikely for some reason.

He tried and tried, but even he found it hard to believe himself when he was so used to lying and deceiving.

A part of him knew that it wouldn't be right for him to accept someone else's real kindness.

“While I appreciate the offer, I'm trying to be the one who treats you. Serving you is my humble wish,” he said, finding some relief in his own words. It came out with his usual tone, but it felt like what he really wanted to say.

With a light shrug, Kaneki moved the stool closer to the bookcase and sat down, taking his coffee with him as he sat down and rested his back against the shelves behind him. He opened the book in his lap, but looked up at him before he began looking through. “Is there anything you wanted to look for?”

Not particularly, he thought. He already had what he came for sitting right in front of him.

“Not really,” he said honestly. “I'm more interested in what you're interested in.” He didn't feel like getting his pants dusty, but he couldn't properly read anything in the book from where he was standing, so he crouched next to Kaneki and held his coffee with both hands.

Kaneki nervously scratched his cheek. “Don't you feel embarrassed saying things like that?”

“Like what?” Was there something odd about what he said?

“Nothing,” Kaneki replied quickly. He began flipping through the pages just as quickly, searching for the flower he had been admiring at the flower shop. Tsukiyama couldn't figure out what he was talking about, didn't understand how what he said was supposed to be embarrassing, but he let go of the thought and tried to focus on the book instead. Though Kaneki flipped past about ten pages at a time, he occasionally stopped to look at the pictures of the intricate flower arrangements that he found interesting. While he had a feeling that Kaneki appreciated the flowers he brought him, he had no idea that he would have this much of an interest in them.

“Have you always liked flowers?” he asked. A pleasant quietness had fallen between them while they admired the pictures in the book together, so Kaneki looked a little surprised when he heard him speak up. “Ikebana, too. Is it something that's always interested you?”

Kaneki looked aside. Tsukiyama tried to follow him, leaning forward, but he couldn't see his face well.

“I always have, a little. I guess it's more of a recent thing, though...”

A recent thing, huh? Tsukiyama felt like he knew who was responsible for that. It was nice to have some solid confirmation that his efforts to please him had been accepted. He may have even helped Kaneki develop a new hobby in the process. Until he decided that it was time to eat him, he wouldn't mind having a little bit of fun with him. He wasn't the type to play with his food, but Kaneki wasn't like other boring dishes.

“You're drooling,” Kaneki said, pointing at the corner of his own mouth.

Startled, he lifted the back of his hand to rub at his face, mortified to find that he was right. He really couldn't help it... Kaneki was right there and he smelled good and he was being so nice to him all of a sudden. If he weren't careful, he was going to get excited all over again, so he tried to remind himself of Kaneki's earlier warning. Unless he wanted to end up as an unidentifiable bloody mess, he had to hold it in.

He tried to laugh and pretend like it was nothing, deciding it best to completely shift the focus to save himself from having to explain why he was drooling and heavily breathing down his neck like a hungry lion.

“O-oh, I think we're close to it now! On the next page, maybe?” he said, making a little twirl in the air with his index finger to indicate that Kaneki should turn the page.

Kaneki sipped his coffee, then turned the page. “Ah. You're right. Irises. That's definitely what they were,” he said, looking at the picture on the page. The ones they saw earlier and the ones in the photograph could've been twins. The ones on the page on the left were shown as they grow in the wild. They were a sophisticated shade of purple with a delicate white that softly eased its way into the center of the petal from the middle of the flower. On the right page, there was a photograph of a simple yet elegant ikebana arrangement. If they hadn't been put right next to each other, he might not have even realized that they were the same kind of flower.

“It's really impressive what ikebana can do,” Kaneki said, lightly brushing his fingers next to the picture on the right. “I wonder what the artist was trying to say with this arrangement. I don't know that much about ikebana yet, so my impressions could be totally wrong, but there's something about the simplicity of the arrangement of this one that makes it seem... kind of sad? But there are these white flowers down here that look like they're trying to support the irises, so maybe it's actually supposed to be about strength.” He laughed to himself. “It's really hard to tell.”

“You're right,” Tsukiyama agreed. He couldn't put his finger on it, but he felt like he saw the same thing that Kaneki did. “Perception is a very individual thing, but a real artist knows how to express their thoughts so clearly that there should be no doubt in the viewers' minds about the meaning of their work.”

“Really? You don't think that open interpretation is a good thing?”

He shook his head. “Non. You know there's a difference between interpretation and opinion, yes?”

Kaneki nodded, looking at him with interest.

“Naturally, anyone is entitled to an opinion. No opinion is correct or incorrect, but an interpretation can be wrong. Unless the artist wants to allow the viewers to find their own meaning, the work should always have a specific interpretation – or two or three. One work could also have many meanings, all of which could be considered correct.”

Kaneki took a thoughtful sip of his coffee and tapped his finger against the page. “So... What you're saying is that we'll know if this is a good piece if our interpretations were correct?”

“Précisément,” he said affirmingly. “Or we could just be stupid.”

And then he heard the most beautiful, most satisfying sound: Kaneki's real, genuine laugh. Even he seemed to be surprised to hear himself laughing because he tried to cover it up a second later with a cough, rubbing the back of his hand against the corners of his eyes. “What the heck? I must really be desperate for a laugh if I'm laughing at something you said.”

Tsukiyama wanted to immediately make a retort, to ask him what that was supposed to mean, but he knew, and it wasn't unwarranted either. He even felt a little bad about it, but a little momentary trouble was worth suffering when he knew that he was one step closer to working his way under Kaneki's defenses. Things looked like they were going pretty well now. Perhaps he would be getting a taste of him sooner than he anticipated.

He scanned the page and found a section about the flower's meaning on the right, below the picture of the arrangement. “I can't read that from here. I'm really curious to find out what the iris means now. For our sakes, I hope we were right about our interpretation.”

“Ah, right,” Kaneki said, finding the section. He took another quick sip before setting his cup aside on the shelf behind him, then read. “In hanakotoba, the language of flowers, the iris is often used to represent the arrival of good news. Even more frequently, especially when used in ikebana arrangements, the flower is used to symbolize a strong, enduring friendship,” his voice grew a little higher as he reached the end of that particular sentence. He stopped and let his eyes scan ahead to speed-read the rest of the paragraph. “I think you'll like this part. Did you know that the iris is where the fleur-de-lis comes from? It says that it's a symbol of... purity and... chastity.”

“Romantique, oui?

Kaneki made a face at him. “Well... I guess we were a little right. I don't know what the white flowers in the arrangement are, so they probably have their own meaning that adds to the piece's overall meaning.”

“So we aren't completely stupid. That's good.”

Kaneki put a hand to his mouth, but Tsukiyama had already heard the laugh he tried to hide.

“This feels really weird,” Kaneki said, absently pressing the edge of the page between his fingers without turning it. There was a distant emotion Tsukiyama could hear in his voice, but he couldn't say what it was. Kaneki's face may have held the answer, but he kept his head down, staring through the pages. “You almost seem normal when you're like this.”

He'd been trying to put a name on the feeling that kept chasing after him all day. He still couldn't figure out what it was, but there it was again. It made his chest tighten a little painfully. Unable to put the pieces together, too bothered by what it might form if he assembled it, he pushed it away again and tried to make the mood light.

“'Normal' is such a subjective term. Who's to say what's normal, really? Everyone has their own definition, especially when it comes to the differences between humans and ghouls.”

When Kaneki turned to look at him, Tsukiyama was pleased for a second, but his heart sunk to his stomach when he saw the lightless seriousness in his eyes. “You're right. 'Normal' means something completely different to you.”

He paused.

Tsukiyama felt like he should be worried.

“You know...” Kaneki's fingers stopped playing with the corner of the page and he closed the book with an exhausted breath. He continued, his voice almost kind. “You don't have to keep pretending. The way you act around me... I know it's not what's 'normal' for you. Isn't it hard for you, too? I can't keep up with this; trying to give you a second chance when I know that you're just baiting me. The second I have my back turned, I know you'll take your chance to eat me. I keep trying because there's still a part of me that's desperate for a friend, but really, I... I should just stop trying. Why do I bother when I know that you aren't?”

How had things taken such a turn?

Just a second ago, he was thinking about how well things were going. Now Kaneki seemed like a totally different person. He smelled the same, he looked the same, but there was an air about him that belonged to someone else. It would be ridiculous of him to blame the dead, but he swore that he could hear her voice in him, mocking him.

“W-why would you say that?” he asked. The condition of his clothes be damned, he needed to sit down for this. “You aren't sounding like yourself. You know that I've been doing everything I can lately to cheer you up. I even told you that myself.”

“The way you treat me is painful.” His reply felt like a slap across the face. “What? You didn't expect that?”

No, he really hadn't. There was a chance he just hadn't stopped to think about it for long enough, and it was too difficult for him to think about it now when he felt so overwhelmed. Suddenly, in the last minute, all of his plans had been exposed, were laid out, and then had been crushed underfoot.

Something was building inside of him. Alongside his hunger was a familiar kind of fear, one without a name that he'd ignored the existence of for a long time.

Kaneki gave a sardonic laugh that rode on little more than a breath.

“For a guy who loves to read, I find it pretty funny that you can't read yourself. So how about this?” Putting the book aside, he put his hands in his lap, then turned to face him and leaned closer, keeping his voice low like the things he had to say were a secret meant only for his ears. “It hurts you just as much to lie. If I gave you the chance, your instincts would get the better of you, but you don't really want to eat me – not completely, anyway.”

Why did that thought sound familiar?

“Who... Who said anything about e-eating you, Kaneki-kun?” The smile he had affixed to his face felt like it was trying to escape. He couldn't even say that much without making his excitement grow.

“You don't have to deny it. 'Normal' means something different to you, after all. It's no wonder you're so confused. You've never met someone like me – someone who isn't 'normal' at all.”

This wasn't sudden at all. The whole time, this tension had been building under the surface. For him, it was his desire to eat Kaneki. After being thwarted twice and then being forced to keep it in, something else had begun to take form; another desire that he ignored for the sake of the other. As long as his desire to eat him persisted, he couldn't be allowed to want anything else.

He knew that Kaneki was a sensitive, perceptive person. It was stupid to think that he wouldn't have noticed what he was really trying to do.

But when he heard him say that he didn't have to pretend to be his friend...

What was true?

“Tsukiyama-san.”

He heard Kaneki say his name, but it was difficult to hear over all the loud and conflicting things inside his own head. His head jerked up, following Kaneki's voice. Feeling blinded by the white light that was beginning to encroach upon the edges of his vision, he couldn't tell what was happening, but he felt Kaneki's fingers curl tightly around his shoulders, his nails pressing crescents into his skin through his shirt, felt something warm press against his mouth.

Slowly, as his vision began to clear, he realized that Kaneki's lips were against his own. All at once, he felt an unusual combination of nausea and hunger swirl in his stomach. He didn't know what to do. Generally, he thought, if someone were to kiss him, the natural response would be to kiss them back, but... He remembered what Kaneki had just told him. A natural response didn't have to be applied to someone like Kaneki.

Rather than kiss him back, he just wanted to scream.

He shut his eyes tightly, letting his rational thoughts escape. One of Kaneki's hands moved to roughly grasp his jaw, forcing him to open his mouth, and he found his next breath being swallowed by Kaneki's mouth. When Kaneki's tongue slid over his own, he felt himself break out into a cold sweat, knowing that he wouldn't be able to restrain himself any longer. It had been too long since he'd had a taste of him and now he was this close, Kaneki's breath ghosting across his palate, his enticing smell beneath his nose.

The tightness he felt behind his eyes told him that they must have already turned on their own, but he couldn't do a thing about it now except pray that the owner wouldn't come back to check on them and hope that no other customers entered the store.

His jaw shivered with the temptation to snap right down on Kaneki's tongue...

Just as the thought passed through his head, he felt Kaneki's teeth pinch the tip of his tongue and he pulled away with a startled hiss. Quickly setting down his cup, he covered his mouth with his hands and ran his tongue around the inside of his mouth to determine how bad it was. He wasn't too worried because he knew that it would heal in a second anyway, but, as a gourmet, his tongue was very important to him.

Though he wanted to stay mad, the taste of his own blood that was left mingling with Kaneki's lingering taste made his head feel fuzzy. He let it swim around his taste buds for a while before tilting his head back and swallowing with a blissful sigh.

“It already feels a lot better this way, doesn't it?” Kaneki asked, reaching out to pet the side of his face. “I can tell how bad you want to eat me right now, but for some reason, I feel less scared of you when I can tell what you're thinking.”

“I...” It was a little pointless to refute that now when his eyes had already given him away.

“Do you think you can be honest with me from now on?”

He tried to give it some thought, but his brain shouted out only one answer.

No. No. No.

He couldn't do it. He wanted to eat him too badly. How could he even talk to Kaneki normally if he unleashed the part of himself that wanted to viciously tear him apart? He'd have to get out of his sight. He'd have to leave him alone. If he let this part of him consume him, then he could only treat Kaneki as a thing to be devoured.

“What makes you think you have to kill me to eat me?”

His eyes opened wider. It was like Kaneki could read what he was thinking. “I-I'll lose control of myself. Y-you can't tempt me like this, Kaneki-kun. It's cruel.”

“Blaming me for your own inability to control yourself?” He patted his cheek, then brought his hand around to grab a tight fistful of the hair at the back of his head. “If that's what you're so worried about, then I'll tame you.”

Tsukiyama really didn't understand what was going on anymore. They had been spending a nice afternoon together, and now he found himself prostrating himself on the floor before Kaneki as saliva dripped down from the corner of his mouth, an undignified look on his face. What Kaneki said was certainly true... Many times, he only took what he needed from his prey and then left them alone. It wasn't out of any sense of kindness or benevolence for his prey – he just figured that he couldn't eat an entire human by himself. Certain parts weren't even worth eating anyway.

But, Kaneki... He wanted to eat all of him, every part.

Still, he wanted to believe what he said.

Kaneki pressed his lips against his again and Tsukiyama quietly uttered his name, sighing, eyes rolling back in his head as he tasted Kaneki's tongue, still somewhat bitter with the taste of coffee. He didn't know why they were kissing in the first place, but Kaneki's mouth really tasted good. That was probably all that had to matter at the moment. If he let himself think about it more deeply, he wasn't sure he'd be able to keep a leash on himself.

Right, no... It was fine. Kaneki said he'd take care of it. He could let go a little. Kaneki wanted him to let go.

When Kaneki released him next, Tsukiyama slumped back down, sitting on his folded legs, his head feeling like it had been stuffed full of cotton. His heart was pounding erratically and the front of his pants felt uncomfortably tight. He swallowed and gulped down a few lungfuls of air, trying to catch his breath before Kaneki decided to do anything else unexpected.

“I told you that you should be careful,” Kaneki said, gently rubbing his index finger over Tsukiyama's bottom lip. “You're just so oblivious to how pitiful you really are. It makes me want to tease you.”

He wouldn't have expected to hear words like those coming from Kaneki, but he finally sounded like he was coming back around to his usual self again. There was a little glimmer of something from the past in his eyes, a satisfied and amused sort of smile on his reddened lips.

Oblivious, huh...?

Well, he was hard now. He couldn't deny that. And Kaneki was looking really tempting to him – and he wasn't just tempted to eat him.

This was the Kaneki he first met; the one who was modest and a little shy, who would look embarrassed if he did something out of character. Maybe he was oblivious. Maybe he would never be able to read himself. But Kaneki was a literati.

“W-wait, Tsukiya-” Kaneki put a hand over his mouth to keep himself from saying anything more, aware that if he let out a loud voice, someone might come to see what was going on. He put his other hand down on the top of Tsukiyama's head, trying to force him away, but he wasn't going to budge. His hands were already busily at work unzipping Kaneki's pants. If he really wanted to stop him, he could use his kagune, but he knew that he wouldn't have to fear him resorting to that, given where they were. He was entirely focused on what he was doing, but he stole a glance upward to look at Kaneki's face. He looked pretty shocked, and Tsukiyama had the feeling that his eye had probably turned as well, but the damn eyepatch was getting in the way.

When he got them unzipped, he stopped for a second to admire the hard outline of Kaneki's cock through his underwear.

“Stop staring at it,” he said, hitting the side of his head. “Wh... What the hell do you think you're doing? We're right out in the open.”

There were enough shelves between them and the entrance of the store. It was also fairly quiet, so if someone were coming, Tsukiyama felt like he would hear them, especially now while his senses were in such a heightened state. The haze that had previously been fogging up his brain had almost completely cleared and now he was focused. He honestly didn't know what he was doing, but he knew that he wanted to taste him. For as long as the innocent side of Kaneki remained, he wanted to taste him.

Even this close, he could smell Kaneki's arousal and it was fucking him up. His stomach growled.

After taking another look around, Kaneki sighed. Tightening his fist in Tsukiyama's hair, he pushed his face into his lap and laughed quietly when heard him moan. “Whatever. I guess this is one of those kinds of things I should experience at least once in my life. If we get caught, you better make sure you keep your eyes closed. At worst, the old man will hit you with a broom 'til he gets you out of the store.”

Tsukiyama nodded frantically, his nose rubbing against Kaneki's clothed arousal. He smelled... exquisite. If he could just take a bite...

“If you bite it off, I'll kill you.”

Tsukiyama stopped and looked up, his senses immediately being whipped into obedience when he saw how serious Kaneki looked about that threat. He tried to remind himself about how nice it was to kiss him, how satisfying it was just to taste the inside of his mouth. Maybe there was more to it than blood. If Kaneki tasted as good as he smelled, then just putting him in his mouth was probably enough.

He prayed that he wouldn't bite it. He just couldn't make any guarantees.

As he carefully pulled back the waistband, revealing the head of his cock, he heard Kaneki make a sound that was somewhat difficult to decipher. Considering the things he had just said about trying this sort of thing at least once, it occurred to him that he might be feeling a little self-conscious or apprehensive. If no one else had done this for him before, then all the better. Tsukiyama didn't even want to think about someone else's mouth touching his food.

Kaneki reached down to adjust his pants for him, letting his cock free. Breathing in the heady scent of his heated, exposed flesh, Tsukiyama leaned in and gave the head an experimental lick. At once, the taste went straight to his head, then straight to his cock. It was just one little lick, but he could already tell. Quietly, Kaneki reminded him again not to use his teeth, and Tsukiyama hastily nodded, leaning back in to pop the tip into his mouth. He swirled his tongue around it, sighing happily through his nose as he felt Kaneki hardening beneath his tongue.

It was a struggle to keep his jaw from snapping shut on its own. The most basic part of his brain knew what an excellent piece of meat he had in his mouth, so the desire to sink his teeth into him was strong. He didn't have to eat him, though – that was what Kaneki had told him. If he did that, he wouldn't be able to discover what it tasted like beneath Kaneki's tender flesh, but if he didn't eat him, then he could enjoy him like this forever. It might not satisfy him for that long, but the thought was enough to ease his mind for the moment.

Kaneki seemed to be enjoying what he was doing, gently pressing his hand on the back of his head to encourage him to take more into his mouth. He really didn't have to ask. Naturally, Tsukiyama was willing to oblige. His mouth watered and his eyes closed on their own in bliss as Kaneki's full length caressed his tongue. Pressing his lips tightly around him, he slowly moved his head back and forth for him, doing as the hand at the back of his head commanded.

He awkwardly tried to arrange himself more comfortably on the floor between Kaneki's knees, but there was no relief for the tightness of his pants. Kaneki must have noticed him struggling. His right foot moved between his legs and gently pressed against the front of Tsukiyama's pants, just hard enough to make it feel a little painful but still light enough to make him wish that he were doing it harder.

“Keep it down,” Kaneki muttered roughly. “You're making too much noise.”

Was he? He hadn't even noticed. He was supposed to be keeping his ears open, listening in case anyone were to get near, but the importance of being unseen was beginning to quickly fade as his arousal continued to mount.

To keep him from making noise, Kaneki pushed his hips upward and pulled Tsukiyama's head down, forcing him to take his cock into his throat. Even at his full length, Kaneki wasn't big enough to make him gag. Being a ghoul who had mastered the art of blending into human society, there was little that could make him gag now besides a mouthful of warm salt water and two of his own fingers. Feeling his cock hitting the back of his throat definitely made him feel more aware of what he was doing, though.

Putting his hands on Kaneki's hips, he let him drill his throat a little longer before the need to breathe became too great. Pulling back, feeling blue in the face, he sucked in the air he needed, then looked up at Kaneki with a lopsided grin.

“Compliments,” he said, slowly drawing his tongue over his upper lip.

Kaneki smirked back a bit tentatively after taking another look around. “I can tell how much you're enjoying yourself. I never would've expected you to be willing to roll around on the floor for anything, but look at you now.” He stroked his hair, his visible eye narrowing seductively. “You look like a dog with a bone, happily wagging its tail.”

Kaneki's praise made him whimper and made other parts of him ache. Noticing, Kaneki pressed his foot down harder against his crotch, roughly grinding his heel against the shape of his cock. To keep himself from yelling out, Tsukiyama locked his jaw and gripped Kaneki's hips tighter. Suddenly, he found himself wishing that this could've happened somewhere more private, in a place where it was safe for him to yell and moan, but it was because of that tension that had been surreptitiously building all along that they found themselves in this situation.

It was bound to happen. This had been inevitable.

It didn't matter where they were. Without his knowing, one way or another, he was bound to find himself with his head between Kaneki's parted legs, swallowing down his cock like a starved animal.

For all of his lying, this was what he deserved; to be on his knees, begging to have a taste of him any way that he was allowed.

When Kaneki eased up on him, he was finally able to breathe again. Panting softly, he rested his forehead against Kaneki's thigh for a moment and let his hands wander, pushing up the bottom of Kaneki's shirt to touch the soft skin of his stomach, feeling the hard, well-defined muscles beneath. He stroked him loosely with his other hand, giving himself another second before he straightened himself back up for another go. He wanted to indulge, to stay there like that all night if he could, but he simply knew that he couldn't. It was a wonder that they hadn't had been seen yet, so he was going to have to work a little bit quicker.

The tip of Kaneki's cock glistened with an appetizing sheen, and he leaned in to lap at it with his tongue. As soon as the complex, bittersweet flavor of his precum met his tongue, his eyes flew open and he desperately held back the elated cheer that wanted to escape from his mouth.

This was perfect. This was the sort of taste he'd been seeking.

It was something entirely different from blood or saliva or marrow; a thing that deserved to be elevated on its own pedestal.

As a gourmet, he prided himself on his broad knowledge of flavors, so he had tasted everything there was to taste. From head to toe, he was familiar with the many flavors and textures of the human body, but Kaneki was something different. Every inch of his body held a flavor he had never experienced before.

“If I didn't know better, I'd just call you a slut,” Kaneki said, having noticed the look on his face, “but you just love the taste of cum, huh? That's kind of weird, but if you like it, then...”

Tsukiyama furiously shook his head, concerned about what sort of impression Kaneki was giving himself. “It's just... It's just yours. W-wh-why does it taste this good?”

Was it because of those sweet, dissolving cubes he liked to put in his coffee to stave off his hunger? Did it have something to do with the kind of meat he was consuming? Was it just because of his half-human nature?

Tsukiyama never thought he would be thinking about another man's cum so deeply, but, now that he'd discovered Kaneki's as a sensational taste, it was a legitimate thing of interest.

“Like I know,” Kaneki said, looking uncomfortable about a question like that. “Don't forget where we are right now, alright?”

“R-right,” he said hurriedly, feeling his own cock give an impatient, oddly aroused twitch against Kaneki's foot at the thought of being caught.

It looked like his light stroking had been just the thing to get Kaneki's crank turning. Precum leaked from the tip and a little bit of it had already started to drip down the underside, rolling over the back of Tsukiyama's thumb. He hungrily lifted his fingers to his mouth and sucked it off, then eagerly ran his tongue up the length of Kaneki's cock, bringing his lips together to suck on the head when he reached it, drawing out more of his precum.

He heard Kaneki sigh appreciatively, flicked his eyes up to watch as he leaned back against the shelves and closed his eyes. Kaneki continued to absently rub his foot against him as well, nudging him in ways that weren't wholly graceful, making him hurt just as much as he made him feel good.

Bringing one hand down, he gently tugged on Kaneki's balls – and got a slap on the side of the head for it. That much was out of the question, it appeared, but he was curious to see how he would react to other things, so, keeping his mouth busy, he moved his hand a little lower, pushing Kaneki's pants down farther to get his hand inside. Lightly, with just the tips of his middle and ring fingers, he rubbed over his entrance and was both surprised and intrigued when Kaneki didn't chastise him that time. He continued to rub at it and tilted his head at the same time, letting the head of Kaneki's cock rub against the inside of his cheek.

Tsukiyama's nostrils flared, the intensity of his smell making him feel lightheaded, the taste of him making his cock throb. His jaw was feeling tired and there was saliva everywhere, making sloppy noises each time Kaneki thrust into his mouth and pushed against his cheek, but he really didn't care, especially when, a second later, he received a nice, warm mouthful of Kaneki's cum.

Kaneki grasped his hair painfully tight and Tsukiyama allowed himself one small moan to show his appreciation. With the heavenly flavor and warmth settling across his tongue, he sat back, swallowed, and came.

“Th... Thank you for the meal,” he said, feeling like he could happily float away.

“Uh... Yeah, you're welcome,” Kaneki replied uncertainly, focused on other, more pressing matters. Tucking himself back into his pants, he looked down at Tsukiyama's lap. “You're probably gonna have to change now, huh? Sorry about that.”

The front of his pants was a complete mess now. He really should've seen that coming. He could've done something to keep that from happening, but he got so wrapped up in the moment.

“Finding everything you boys were looking for?”

They both turned at the sound of someone's voice and found the store owner standing at the end of the aisle, smiling warmly at them with his hands linked behind his back. Tsukiyama hastily looked away and embarrassingly struggled to his feet with quivering knees. He glanced at Kaneki who nodded back at him, letting him know that it was safe to turn around. His eyes must have gone back to normal after he came and settled down.

Regardless, after the mess he'd made of himself, he didn't feel like turning around. Even his hair was sticking up in weird ways because of the things Kaneki had been doing to it. There was no way the owner couldn't guess what they had been up to.

Kaneki picked up the book they had been looking at earlier and stood up with it.

“I think we found just the thing, actually. Thank you.”

The owner turned back around and started back toward the front. “I'll be at the register if you feel like checking out.”

When he was gone, Tsukiyama finally felt safe to turn around. His shoulders slumped forward as he let out a long sigh.

“I'll buy the book for you. I think I owe it to the old man for getting so lewd in his shop.” The more he thought about it, the more humiliated he felt. “He didn't realize what we did, did he? Please tell me he didn't realize. Mon dieu, save me.”

“Pretty sure he thought we were on a date, so I wouldn't be surprised if he left us alone on purpose.”

Kill me, he thought hopelessly.

Considering what they had just done, Kaneki seemed a lot less disgusted or angry than he was expecting. During the whole affair, he was unable to think about much other than the taste of him (a thing that still occupied a large presence in his head at the moment), but now that he was thinking more clearly, he was expecting some sort of backlash. He wouldn't have been surprised if Kaneki told him off or promised him death, but instead he got nothing and there was something even more distressing about that.

Determined to lighten the mood and figure out what Kaneki was thinking at the same time, he decided to go pay for the book for him. He held it in front of himself on the way to the register and felt acutely aware of Kaneki's amused gaze on him as he made his way there. After seeing the knowing look in the old man's eyes as he bagged the book for him, Tsukiyama was willing to admit that Kaneki's suspicion had been correct.

He definitely knew. How he was supposed to show his face in the bookstore again without being reminded of this was beyond him.

When they left, he handed the bag to Kaneki, but Kaneki politely declined, telling him that it was probably more important for him to hold onto it for the moment; at least until he got home where he could change his pants. With that, Kaneki hurriedly thanked him for the book and the coffee and started walking away, back to the apartment.

As Tsukiyama watched his retreating back, he realized that he didn't even have the strength to tell him to wait, didn't have the energy to be his usual self. He took a sad sip of his coffee, but even that couldn't make him feel better, its remaining quarter having gone cold.

He just felt confused.

What began as a sly way to win Kaneki's trust had turned back on him, and then he went and did that and messed things up even more. The whole situation felt twisted and he was too drained to figure out how to untangle it. Regardless of whether he still thought of Kaneki as food or as something else, it was becoming very clear to him that something between them may have been lost.

Things couldn't just be left where they were. Kaneki was still his number one prey. Nothing was going to change that. Just because he got carried away and got them involved in something uncomfortably personal didn't mean he was going to stop pursuing him.

After he went home and shamefully cleaned himself up, he gave himself the night to think about it. It turned out that there was a lot more to think about than he realized, but there were a few specific things that his thoughts decided to devote themselves to. Of course, he didn't want to do anything that would jeopardize his odds of eating Kaneki. On the whole, things probably hadn't changed much in regards to that, but his methods for how he would accomplish that were going to have to change.

Kaneki knew what he was up to and he seemed to be adamant in his distrust.

That didn't leave Tsukiyama entirely without hope, however. He recalled one of the things that Kaneki had told him; the thing that he'd treated as something confidential.

He wanted to trust him.

And Tsukiyama wanted Kaneki to trust him, was glad that he still wanted to trust him.

He was a ghoul, so if Kaneki could accept the fact that he may never stop wanting to eat him, then maybe he would allow him to be around him. Tsukiyama couldn't think of any other reason why he might want to be around Kaneki, but abandoning his determination to eat him was simply out of the question. Why Kaneki would want to have him around if he knew that he would always potentially be in danger was still a question he had yet to answer, though.

All he knew was that he couldn't stop thinking about what happened, Kaneki's taste and scent still lingering in his senses. As he battled those questions in his head, his thoughts kept turning back to what happened in the bookstore. He tried just about everything he could on his own, but nothing seemed capable of extinguishing the fire that raged within his body.

It might take a long, long time for him to get back Kaneki's trust... if he ever got it back at all. If he could have an appetizer in the meantime, though, then he thought the wait might not feel so long.

He needed more.

Hard and hungry and frustrated, he set himself on his bed with his laptop and began one of the most adventurous searches he'd ever done. If Google could excuse his searches for ways to prepare human flesh, then it could surely forgive him for this one.

The next day, he went to the apartment Kaneki shared with Hinami and the others. Dressed a little more modestly than usual, holding the gifts he'd brought with him under one arm, he was feeling pretty confident in himself. His full night of searching had left him feeling tired but enlightened, and he was prepared to show everything he had learned to Kaneki.

He knocked on the door once, waited.

Knocked again because he knew that they liked to ignore him sometimes.

Knowing how to be patient was an important trait for an experienced gourmet like himself, so he was fine with waiting. He was capable of waiting all night.

They must have known that because the door eventually opened after a few more minutes without him having to even knock again. Without undoing the final chain latch, Banjou opened the door and peered out at him from the other side of the crack.

“...Here for Kaneki, aren't you?” he asked, suspiciously eyeing the book and bunch of flowers he was holding under his arm. “Or are those for little Hina?”

Like Banjou would understand... In the first place, the flowers he brought were always meant for Kaneki. Whether they made it to him or not was never within his control and Banjou's guard dog-like wariness of him was to blame for that. He would much rather hand-deliver them to Kaneki himself, but he could tell that he was going to get nowhere if he were stuck talking to this big idiot.

He was prepared to break the latch and invite himself in, but he was stopped by the sound of Kaneki's voice from the sitting room. He couldn't make out what he was saying, but he heard Hinami's voice, probably telling him that he was at the door. A short moment later, Kaneki appeared, delicately assuring Banjou that he didn't need to worry about him, implying that he should let him inside.

Banjou turned to him and leaned down, trying to talk more quietly. No matter how quiet he tried to be, Tsukiyama was going to hear him when he was standing right there. “You sure you wanna let him in this time?” he asked, still giving Tsukiyama a sidelong stare.

The way he said that – was he implying something? Had Kaneki told them about what happened the day before?

...No. There was no way. Kaneki wouldn't have shared something like that with them.

...Would he have?

Kaneki pulled up the latch himself and opened the door wider, letting him in. “It's fine,” he told Banjou. “I expected him to show up today. There are things we were going to discuss, so we'll be in my room. If you need either of us for anything, just knock on the door, alright?”

“U-uh... Yeah,” Banjou said, his skepticism faltering upon seeing Kaneki's smile. “Same here. Lemme know if there's anything you need.”

Some privacy would be nice, Tsukiyama thought as he followed Kaneki back to his room. As they passed by the sitting room, Hinami sat up alert on the couch and gave him a warm wave and a hello. He only visited for Kaneki, but that little girl wasn't too bad. He knew that he didn't have to compete with her over Kaneki and she didn't annoy him like the others, so her presence was... not unwanted, at least. Seeing how close she was to Kaneki, the thought of using her didn't escape him as he put on a smile and gave her a hello of his own.

Kaneki's room looked the same as he remembered from his last visit. The window was open, but he could still detect the pleasant, lingering aroma of Kaneki's scent.

After Kaneki locked the door behind them, his eyes went to what Tsukiyama was holding. “Oh, is that...?”

“Oui,” he said, holding out the book. “Th-these are for you as well,” he blurted, his throat suddenly feeling too dry. He held out the bundle of flowers with both hands, pushing them toward Kaneki's chest. “You looked really interested in them, and after what happened, well... That is– I figured that I should get these for you before anyone else came and bought them. I thought you might like trying to arrange them yourself, but if not, you'll want to plant them. I know there's a planter on the window sill, so...”

“That's... Very thoughtful of you. Thank you,” Kaneki said, accepting the proffered gift. The way he said it, it was difficult for Tsukiyama to gather whether he really meant it, but as he watched Kaneki take the book and flowers to his desk, he caught the light, fond way he looked at them.

Seeing that look, he was hesitant to say anything else, afraid that he might frighten it away. “If you don't mind me asking... What was it that drew you to those flowers?”

Kaneki's eyes remained on them for a moment longer, thinking, then turned to look at him. “The color, maybe? They have an elegant, sophisticated sort of look about them, but their appearance seems much gentler in the ones that have the white in their petals. After thinking about them for a while, I really wanted to know what kind of meaning they had, but now I don't think that meaning is that important to me. I just like the impression they give me.”

Tsukiyama may have been dense, just as Kaneki had told him, but even he could tell that Kaneki was talking about more than just the flowers.

What it meant for them in that moment wasn't as clear to him. He shifted his weight awkwardly to his other foot and tried to think of how to reply to Kaneki's rather deep comparison. Whatever it meant, it felt flattering, but his brain couldn't choose the right words for him to say while he was busy stumbling over the rising beat of his heart. He went there with a clear purpose in mind, but he couldn't go about things the way he used to, pretending like he was Kaneki's best friend, knowing that Kaneki had already seen through that act and would probably be disappointed if he tried it again.

How was he supposed to act now? Normally, he was so good at planning these things out, but now...

“You've really never been called out before, have you?”

That wasn't a thing he wanted to answer, no matter whether he admitted to it or not. He had a feeling that any response would've made him sound as pathetic as that question made him feel.

A startling thought occurred to him. If anyone else had asked him something like that, they would've been skewered by his kagune in an instant. But those words coming from Kaneki's mouth, spoken in a way that sounded more kind than condescending, made him feel...

“Sit on the bed.”

Tsukiyama didn't have it in him to refuse. Wordlessly, he backed up until he felt the backs of his knees touch the bed, then sat down, putting his hands in his lap where Kaneki could see them.

Kaneki smiled at him proudly and approached. Tsukiyama tried to abandon any of his expectations as he watched him come closer. He didn't know what he was supposed to do or think anymore. If Kaneki could tell him, then maybe he wouldn't have to worry about feeling confused anymore.

Rather than coming to sit next to him, Kaneki put a knee down at Tsukiyama's side and leaned over him, putting one hand down on his shoulder. Lifting his other hand, he pulled on the strings that secured his eyepatch and lifted it off, revealing his irregular eye, its iris already turned red. Feeling that red eye burning into him, Tsukiyama knew that he should've felt more afraid, was aware of how vicious Kaneki could be when he let the ghoul in him come out to play, but there was still something gentle behind the intensity in Kaneki's eyes.

He couldn't understand how someone could be so ruthless and yet so gentle, but he was thoroughly captivated by the idea.

“You want an excuse to be around me now, right?” Kaneki asked. “You can't keep pretending that you don't want to eat me anymore. I mean... I won't let you. But you do want to eat me, so you need an excuse, right?” Kaneki's hand came to rest against his chest, pushing open the front of his blazer to curl his fingers loosely around his tie. Tsukiyama fought to figure out where this was going, but kept coming up with question marks. Kaneki must have noticed. He wound the tie around his hand to make it taut and gave it a choking tug. “Don't make that kind of face. I know you better than you know yourself, so listen to me.”

Tsukiyama nodded, jaw tight, his heart rate spiking in attentive response to the seriousness in Kaneki's voice.

“I want you around. Honestly, you can actually be good company when you aren't letting your gut do your thinking for you, so I wouldn't hate talking to you. Yesterday was actually a little entertaining for me, to a point.”

“It... It was fun to me too. Really,” Tsukiyama said, hoping that he sounded believable. He was being honest, though his reasons for enjoying himself were probably different from Kaneki's.

“Good, see,” he said, slowly relaxing his grip, smoothing out his tie with both hands. “I can tell that you're thinking with your head right now. Quit being so single-minded and we'll get along real well.”

His desire was building quickly. It would be too soon to let Kaneki see just how badly he wanted him, but he could already feel the familiar tightness crawling to the backs of his eyes, felt the hunger that began in the depths of his stomach begin to rapidly spread to the rest of his body. His fingertips tingled, his palms felt hot. Kaneki was right there, but he... What was he supposed to do if he couldn't eat him?

“What's that face about?” Kaneki asked curiously, his cool palm sliding over the side of Tsukiyama's face.

He was making a face again? What kind of face?

Why was it getting so hard for him to keep his control around him?

“Wh... What am...”

“Hm?” Kaneki leaned a little closer, so close that Tsukiyama feared what he might do. “What's that? Speak up, come on. Don't get weird on me now. You were doing really well for a second there.”

Desperate, he covered his mouth and nose with a hand and tried not to breathe, trying to keep himself from breathing in even more of Kaneki's intoxicating scent. It was because he was so close. Whenever Kaneki got close like that, he always found it difficult to think straight. It was humiliating, being like this right where Kaneki could see him. There was a time when he wouldn't have cared about concealing this side of him, but then he started to care and he couldn't remember when that had happened and he couldn't remember why and he hated that he was like this because Kaneki-

The feeling of Kaneki's lips pressing against his immediately brought his thoughts to a crashing halt. Unlike last time, Kaneki's kiss was firm and assertive, his lips smashed against Tsukiyama's own, leaving no room for him to draw a breath.

After a moment, he realized that Kaneki's hands were wrapped around his throat. His eyes, fully turned, lacking emotion, stared into his. This kiss was meant to silence him, and, realizing that, he made a helpless sound against Kaneki's lips.

Kaneki gradually released him and straightened up, sucking on his lower lip thoughtfully. “It seemed to work the last time, so I thought I'd try it again. You looked like you were about to start hyperventilating if I didn't do something.”

Though that had helped calm him down somewhat, his panic started to return as he thought about what it was he had been trying to say.

“Wha...” He stopped and clenched his teeth, feeling so hungry that he could bite off his own tongue. “Kaneki-kun- Pardon my forwardness, but what am I supposed to do if I can't eat you?”

It felt dangerous, saying what he was thinking without a friendly veneer.

There passed a second, then an amused grin burst onto Kaneki's face. “Didn't you hear me? I didn't say you can't eat me. I just won't let you. By now you have to know what would happen if you tried to eat me anyway, don't you?” he asked sweetly, playing his fingers down the sensitive flesh of Tsukiyama's throat. “With that kind of understanding, I thought it would be pointless for you to keep acting. I'm interested in knowing the real Tsukiyama; the one who likes the books I like, the one who brings me the flowers he saw I was interested in.”

The real...?

“So...” The gears in his head were turning painfully hard, and, by the look on Kaneki's face, he could tell how hard he had to think about what he'd just told him. Kaneki's scent was making it hard for him to think, but he was so invested in figuring this out now that he did his best to ignore it. “You mean... When I'm... not thinking about eating you?”

Kaneki applauded and leaned in to give him a light kiss on the mouth. “Good boy. See, you can think with your head too! I was wondering how many different ways I was going to have to say it before it got past your stomach.”

“I'm not sure I can think about anything else. Not while I'm like this, at least.”

Kaneki put his hands on his shoulders and pushed him down to the bed. He stayed like that, pinning him to the bed, looking down at him with an amount of composure that made Tsukiyama feel reassured. “If you try anything, I'll kill you,” he said simply. “But I like having you around for certain things, so you shouldn't let yourself go too far. I don't want to have to kill you.”

Tsukiyama nodded, feeling equal parts intimidated and aroused and very hungry.

Looking like he'd been hit by a sudden thought, Kaneki sat up, resting heavily on Tsukiyama's stomach. “You know, despite what I told Banjou, I don't really know why you're here. I think of you like a hungry raccoon sometimes, scratching at the door, begging for food. Is that why you're here again? Lured by the smell of food?”

That was... Well...

“In... a way,” he said carefully, flicking his eyes aside guiltily. “Ah- Well, you see- How to explain it so you'll understand... Having you in front of me like this is what I imagine it must be like for humans when they have a piece of really beautiful cake in front of them. They want to pick up the fork and dig in as quickly as they can, right?”

“I do remember what that was like, but...”

There was still more he had to say to get this weak metaphor across. In his current position, he felt especially vulnerable, so he spoke cautiously, feeling extra aware of how easily Kaneki could destroy him if he said something stupid. “So... Let's say you're the cake and I'm... on a diet, yes? I can't eat the whole cake, but I'd be really happy if I could just have a little taste of the frosting.”

After putting together Tsukiyama's comparison, he gave him the kind of laugh someone would only give if they were trying to be courteous. “You really liked what we did together at the bookstore, didn't you?”

Of course he did. He liked everything about it. Even the unpleasant moments added a certain spice to the flavor of their encounter. Since the moment they first met, he'd been interested in Kaneki, but he only became hungrier for him as Kaneki grew, becoming stronger and more difficult to eat. Kaneki was the kind of deadly catch that he wouldn't mind falling prey to. He knew what to expect from this pursuit and he knew that it could just as easily end with his head upon Kaneki's plate. That was what made it so exciting.

He wanted to experience every one of Kaneki's flavors and if he was going to go down for it, then he was going to go down with a knife and fork clutched in his hands.

“You were quite delicious,” he told him, lids lowered in a hungry leer.

“Weren't you embarrassed by what happened? Don't tell me you came here looking for another round of humiliation. I bet the walk home must've been really awkward for you. How many people noticed?” Kaneki asked, a haughty smirk in his words.

Tsukiyama choked on his tongue, feeling the full firepower of that shot to his pride. He quickly recovered. “A momentary mishap. I wouldn't let something like that happen again.”

“That so?” Kaneki asked, raising a sly brow. He rested back, putting one palm over Tsukiyama's thigh to support himself and brought his other hand back, placing it over the front of Tsukiyama's pants. He just kept it there without moving it, but Tsukiyama was sure that his arousal hadn't gone unnoticed. “It seemed to me like you kinda of liked it. Didn't it hurt? Wasn't it annoying when you had to walk all the way home like that? A gross guy like you, I bet it just turned you on even more.”

Was there really a question in there? Tsukiyama felt like he was being accused of something, but there wasn't anything about what Kaneki said that he could object to. Lacking a response, he kept his mouth closed and tried not to let his thoughts stray too far from what was going on. The basic part of his brain was trying to tempt him, its quiet voice quickly rising in volume, telling him about how delicious Kaneki smelled, about how tender and fragile the flesh of his throat looked.

His mouth watered and he felt himself twitch against Kaneki's hand.

All too suddenly, that hand disappeared.

“I think I'll just ignore that for now then. I don't know what the others will think if they see you leaving my room with a big wet spot on your pants, but that's not my problem. If that's what you're into, then I won't judge.”

“N-now, Kaneki-kun...” That was going a little too far.

Kaneki pretended to not hear him, moving along. “So what was it you said you were here for? A little taste of the frosting, right? Did it really taste that good to you?”

Again, Tsukiyama couldn't tell whether he was supposed to respond to that or not, but Kaneki certainly sounded like he was being serious about it. The answer was simple, but it was embarrassing to say out loud and his thoughts were getting cloudy again.

Impatient, Kaneki grabbed the front of his hair and pulled his head back. His eyes, darkened by something fierce and sexual, pierced through his. “I wanna hear you say it. Go on. Tell me how much you love my cum.”

Ah, this was... This was the Kaneki he came here for. This was the Kaneki he wanted most right now, and, at the moment, he was speaking to the instinctual side of him. As the Gourmet, he couldn't just step down when someone inquired his opinion. When he thought about it like that, he would feel proud to tell him what he thought.

“I liked it a lot. It had a very nice texture and an unexpectedly pleasant, smooth taste for something that would normally be more bitter.” That didn't feel awkward to say at all. But he felt Kaneki's fingers tighten, saw the way he looked at him expectantly, waiting for him to continue, to say the magic words. That intimidating face made him shiver in excitement. “Y-your cum... I... I really l-love your cum.”

“There, you're getting the hang of it,” Kaneki said approvingly, relaxing his hold, letting his fingers brush smoothly through Tsukiyama's hair, pushing it aside until it sat neatly again. “Just keep following my every word and I think we could have something very nice – you could call it mutually beneficial. I'll feed your appetite and you... feed mine.”

As Kaneki's fingers lightly drew a path down the side of his face, Tsukiyama realized that he'd been holding his breath. He really liked it when Kaneki sounded this assertive. If this was a part of the “something” Kaneki was talking about, then it sounded very nice indeed. This side of Kaneki seemed oddly compatible with the gourmet in him. While he was an accomplished discoverer of flavor, Kaneki was a professional of pain.

The chase... Pain... Humiliation...

No one had ever shown him such flavorful spices before.

“Much better,” Kaneki praised. “That's the face of obedience.”

Obedient? Was that what he was now? If it meant that he would get to have another taste of him, then he wouldn't mind doing whatever it took. He felt so hard that he'd be willing to get on the floor and lick Kaneki's feet if he told him to-

...Actually, that sounded pretty good. He wondered what Kaneki would think if he offered.

“You look like you're going to start drooling all over yourself again.”

Perhaps he would think about that offer some other time.

“It's kind of fun making you wait for it. I can tell how ready for it you are.” Kaneki got up on his knees and came a little closer, straddling his chest. Fingers trembling in excitement, Tsukiyama lifted his hands and was about to place them over Kaneki's legs, but they were quickly grabbed and forced down to his sides. “You can't touch me unless I say you can touch me. Those're the basics. Also, I hope it goes without saying that you aren't allowed to use your teeth. Resist or your life is forfeit.”

Tsukiyama gave a small nod, his eyes closing on their own as he allowed the power of Kaneki's scent to take control of him. It was going to be hard to be himself and hold back at the same time, but he was willing to give it a try. Having his life on the table just made him even more excited, his anticipation rising to insurmountable heights.

His eyes followed each of Kaneki's movements with rapt attention as he brought his hands to his waist. Pushing up the bottom of his shirt, he showed Tsukiyama a bit of his hard, tight stomach before slipping his thumbs below the waistline of his shorts. Kaneki stayed that way for a second, watching his face for his reaction, then pushed them down his thighs, revealing his stiff length. He moved aside for only a few more seconds to push them off the rest of the way, then returned to where he'd been, coming a little closer still until he had his knees resting on either side of Tsukiyama's head, his cock right there for the tasting.

Kaneki reached down and held the back of his head, bringing him so close that his nose almost touched his cock. Tsukiyama knew he might face punishment for it, but he leaned in the rest of the way and pressed his nose against it, taking in a nice, long breath, letting it go to his head like a drug.

“You really are fucked up,” Kaneki said. To Tsukiyama's surprise, he wasn't punished for his decision to act on his own. Instead, Kaneki stroked his hair and pulled him closer, letting him breathe in his scent as much as he wanted.

When Kaneki finally pressed the tip of his cock against his lips, Tsukiyama realized what he was doing. Kaneki wanted to make him hungry. By the time he wrapped his lips around him, his mouth was already wet in anticipation, overflowing with saliva. He swallowed some of it back and took Kaneki's cock along with it, right to the back of his throat. Kaneki smelled a little cleaner this time, he noticed, like he may have taken a shower not too long ago, but that didn't hinder his enjoyment. It only altered it slightly, giving him new things to notice this time.

His skin tasted a little less salty and tangy, more subtle. A subtle flavor was one best appreciated by someone of his epicurean calibre, but what he was really after had yet to come.

After his intensive night of searching, he knew roughly what had to be done, but he also didn't want to get his hands cut off. That kind of thing could heal given time, but it would be a bother he didn't feel like dealing with.

In order to do what needed to be done, he had to distract him. Looking up, he could see that Kaneki was still focused on him, watching his cock as it moved between his lips. He pulled back far enough to grab a mouthful of air, then went right back to work, trying even harder this time to make Kaneki lose his concentration. He gave the head a little bit of attention, wrapping his lips tightly around the length to draw the foreskin over the head, pushing it back with the next movement of his head that took him all the way into his mouth again. Based on the sounds Kaneki was making, he could tell that he enjoyed it whenever he played with the head, so he decided to give it sparing attention, making Kaneki want it more by giving him less.

Within a matter of moments, he could already see Kaneki unraveling. His thighs began to quiver and he put his hands down on them to keep himself up.

“You're... really good at this,” he admitted, looking at him from beneath heavy lids.

Tsukiyama really wanted to do things with his hands. Watching Kaneki quivering like that, he wished that he could have his hands on him himself, helping to support him, feeling the way his muscles would tense and relax each time he did something good.

Kaneki's praise made him feel proud. It wasn't a compliment he had ever received before, but he wasn't surprised. He was very familiar with the human body, knew where it was weak and sensitive, and was observant enough to know what sort of reactions to watch for.

When Kaneki finally let his eyes slip closed, relaxing into Tsukiyama's pace, that was when Tsukiyama decided to make his move. Carefully so that Kaneki wouldn't notice, he lifted a hand and slowly brought it toward Kaneki's backside. He continued what he was doing with his mouth, but kept his eyes closed as well, pretending like he was innocent as he brought his fingers between Kaneki's parted legs.

As expected, he heard Kaneki take in a sharp breath and felt him grab his arm in a vice-like grip. He didn't pull it away, though, only stared at him with an indignant expression.

“What did I tell you?”

Tsukiyama pulled off and licked his lips. “My pocket.”

“Huh?”

“The pocket inside my jacket.”

Kaneki kept his eyes on him suspiciously, but, curious to find out what he was talking about, he pushed open Tsukiyama's jacket and felt around inside until he found the hidden pocket he was talking about. His fingers dipped inside and when he pulled out the object in question, he held it up to look at it – and nearly dropped it when he realized what he was holding.

“Y-you pervert... You really came here with only one thing on your mind.”

“You knew what to expect from the start,” he said, hugging Kaneki's thighs, lovingly rubbing his cheek against his cock. “Eating you is always on my mind, but it wasn't my top priority today. Today, I just came to have a... tasting. I had to plan things out a little bit if I wanted to enhance my meal.”

Kaneki let out a sigh that he looked reluctant to release, nudging his cock against Tsukiyama's cheek, smearing precum across the side of his face. “Enhance it, huh...”

Not one to waste even a scrap, Tsukiyama swiped his thumb through what Kaneki left on his cheek and sucked it into his mouth, moaning throatily in approval. “Superb... Délicieux!”

“Keep your voice down. I don't want you scarring Hina-chan,” Kaneki warned, giving him a weak glare. His willpower and assertiveness looked questionable while he was under his desire's control. Looking at him trying to keep himself together, Tsukiyama felt like he had suddenly been shown a mirror.

Except he was still the one laying beneath Kaneki. And he was still the one who'd end up with a sharp kagune through his chest if he made any false moves. He was the one at the real disadvantage.

He moaned, his cock so hard that it hurt. He twisted his hips, but there was no relief, and, for whatever reason, that only made him feel more aroused, sending a burst of heat throughout his body.

“Here,” Kaneki said, bringing him back. Flicking back the cap, he held it out, expecting Tsukiyama to present his fingers. When he complied, he squeezed a bit of it onto them and let Tsukiyama spread it around himself. “Is that enough?”

“Worried about a little pain?” Tsukiyama teased.

That was an ill-advised move. Kaneki grabbed his cheek, pinched his skin tightly between his fingers and pulled it far out to the side, so far that Tsukiyama feared that he was about to tear it straight off before he let go, letting it snap back with an audible, painful-sounding smack. “Don't mess around. Do it right.”

“As you command, mon cher,” Tsukiyama answered, resisting the instinct to rub at his cheek, enjoying the raw soreness already setting in.

Kaneki grabbed his chin, silently ordering him to open his mouth. As he took his cock into his mouth, he brought his slick fingers back to Kaneki's entrance. Remembering the way he reacted the day before, he teased his fingers around it without pushing inside at first, just giving them enough pressure to give Kaneki an idea of what he was about to do. A favorable sound fell from Kaneki's lips, but he was still watching him with a distinct amount of uncertainty. His hips twitched, seeming conflicted whether he should push into Tsukiyama's mouth or relent to the fingers at work behind him.

He eventually settled for both, grinding against Tsukiyama's prodding fingers, thrusting the head of his cock into the sore spot inside his cheek. Kaneki likely wasn't going to last long. Tsukiyama could already taste a little more of his precum on his tongue, but there was still more he intended to do. He wouldn't be happy until he was sated with his fill.

When he felt confident that Kaneki was sufficiently relaxed and familiar with his touch, he began to press in his middle finger. It slipped in with a minimum of resistance, but he still felt the nails of one of Kaneki's hands digging into his shoulder. He looked up and found him looking down at him with an unpleasant grimace on his face, like he was accusing him of something. If he were, he didn't say anything. It only took a few more moments for that look to melt into something more relaxed, his eyes glazing over as pleasure began to replace whatever discomfort he felt.

From his research, he knew where he should be aiming – in general, at least. Reaching a little higher, pushing his finger in all the way to the knuckle, he felt around until he felt like he'd found what he was looking for. Watching Kaneki's face was an important part of determining where he had to search; a barometer for whether he was feeling it or not.

Kaneki didn't react too strongly at first, but his response was just noticeable enough for Tsukiyama to know that he'd found it. He pulled back his finger for a second and Kaneki opened his mouth, likely to admonish him for stopping, but his jaw snapped shut when he felt him pushing in two fingers next. By then, he must have gotten used to it enough to find the addition of another finger pleasurable. Tsukiyama grinned proudly around the cock in his mouth and spent a few moments returning some attention to what he was doing with his tongue just to make sure that Kaneki didn't get too distracted by the awkward feeling of having another finger inside of him.

Regardless, he looked like he was already really enjoying it. And Tsukiyama had yet to even show him the fruits of his research.

Curling those two fingers slightly, he found the spot again and tried rubbing against it, watching Kaneki's face all the while. Though he was putting up an impressive effort, he could tell how difficult it was for Kaneki to keep his enjoyment from showing. His eyes wandered, looking like he didn't know where to rest them while he experienced this thing he'd never felt before. Anywhere seemed fine. Anywhere other than Tsukiyama's face.

Tsukiyama felt a rush of satisfaction, knowing that, even though he was still the one running in second, he'd just scored a major point against Kaneki. This new arrangement of theirs forced him to become a dog on a leash, but, if he were a dog, then he was one who would enjoy pleasing his master above all else. As long as he was thrown a bone like this once or twice, he felt like he could live on that leash without feeling limited by it.

That was what he told himself. Because as soon as this was over, he would probably have second thoughts about agreeing to this arrangement, but, at the moment, he wasn't going to question it. He didn't even have to try this time. This was a gift. Kaneki's whims were a very fickle thing, and he wasn't going to question his luck.

“That... That's good,” Kaneki said, sighing. The piercing grip he had on Tsukiyama's shoulder had relaxed, and the small marks he'd left etched into his skin had already healed. He was still keeping himself up over him, but Tsukiyama could tell that it was getting hard for him to support himself, his thighs shivering, his back shuddering whenever Tsukiyama pressed his fingers roughly into him. In his current position, there wasn't much Tsukiyama could do to help him. He only had one hand free and it wouldn't be enough to keep him up. He still wasn't sure what he should do with that hand. His cock was throbbing, uncomfortably trapped, and he was desperate for some sort of relief. If he weren't careful, he was going to end up causing another mess, but he knew that he couldn't move his hand without permission.

He could already taste it; the results of his effort. His breathing labored, Kaneki continued to fuck his mouth, rubbing his cock into the soft, sore side of his cheek, sometimes pulling back and stilling his hips for a while to get himself back under control. When he pushed back in again, he suddenly halted, his cock taking an awkward turn that sent it brushing against the upper row of Tsukiyama's teeth. A look of confusion came over his face as he shook. Though Tsukiyama saw it, his thoughts were elsewhere, his whole self suddenly overcome with hunger when he felt his teeth touching Kaneki's flesh. He felt the first warm rush of Kaneki's cum flood his mouth, and he moaned weakly, his hips arching off the bed, twisting, trying to find a way to satisfy the rest of himself as he reveled in its sweet taste.

“Don't bite down, you fuck,” Kaneki muttered breathlessly, trying to maintain his authority, caught up in the intense new things he was experiencing. “Whatever you do, don't bite down. Shit- Your fingers-”

Tsukiyama had a feeling it wasn't just his fingers that Kaneki was enjoying. A dangerous thought crossed his mind, and he didn't have the ability to push it far enough out of the way before he was trying it.

He swallowed the cum on his tongue and closed his teeth over Kaneki's length.

It was just one side, both rows. He didn't even bite down all the way. And Kaneki didn't punish him for it.

Instead, he let out a startled sound and gave a thrust, brushing his cock between his loosely closed teeth. He knew he must've been looking disgraceful. Having his jaw open like that made him drool all over himself, but he didn't care and it only seemed to make Kaneki more aroused, seeing him looking so disheveled because of him. His nose was dripping from having his throat abused by the head of Kaneki's cock, the corners of his eyes were damp from exertion, his cheek felt even more sore after taking a repeated pounding, and his hair had fallen back out of place a long time ago. He must've looked terrible, but he felt great.

With what little Kaneki had told him, Tsukiyama tried to stay calm and kept working his fingers inside of him. Before long, he saw Kaneki still again, heard him as he tried to contain a groan, felt his cum fill his mouth. This time, he was sure he'd orgasmed, feeling the characteristic quivering and tightness around the fingers he had inside of him. He removed his teeth from him to wrap his lips around it, greedily coaxing out as much of it as he could.

This wasn't the end, though. He wasn't satisfied yet and he could tell that Kaneki wasn't finished yet either, his cock still hard and heavy against his tongue.

“F-fuck, Tsukiyama,” Kaneki panted, still recovering.

Tsukiyama thought it rude to speak with his mouth full, so he simply moaned around his cock, trying to express how much he was enjoying his feast.

“Here...” Kaneki reached back and Tsukiyama felt him fumble with the fastenings of his pants. After a short, awkward struggle, he was able to get his pants open enough to pull out his cock and pushed up his shirt. “Just since you've been doing so good.”

He pulled back to breathe and regarded him with a sloppy smile. “Merci.”

Kaneki looked away with a huff. “Put it back in your mouth. You’re gonna make me go soft.”

He said that, but he was looking harder than ever. It gave an eager twitch as Tsukiyama drew nearer, and Kaneki gently grabbed the back of his head as he brought it back into his mouth. With this technique, he felt sure that he could easily bring Kaneki to the peak once more, if not many more times.

“A little more,” Kaneki muttered, rocking his hips, riding his fingers. “F-fuck... Do it like before. Do it harder.”

Hearing the heated way he said that, Kaneki's desperation for release ready to break him down, Tsukiyama felt his own desperation rising. As eager to please Kaneki as he was to please himself, he did as Kaneki wished and jabbed his fingers into the spot that made more and more precum leak uncontrollably from the tip of his cock. There was no need to be gentle with him. If he asked him to make it rough, then he could give it to him as roughly as he liked it without having to worry, knowing that he would quickly heal if he happened to hurt him.

“More...” he panted, his voice growing a little louder each time he repeated that plea until it was almost certain that he would be heard. The bed creaked with his movements, gradually building up a crescendo with his pants and moans that was carried up to the ceiling and spread throughout the whole room. It echoed in his head until Tsukiyama only felt aware of the taste in his mouth and the music of Kaneki's pleasure in his ears.

When Kaneki's second orgasm reached him, it shook his whole body with its force, sucking the last ounce of strength from his legs. Tsukiyama quickly withdrew his fingers and used both hands to grab his hips to hold him. He pulled back, and as he felt the gratifying taste of his hard work fill his mouth, he found his own climax a moment later. The final thought on his mind as he surrendered to the overwhelming sensations that seized him was that he was just glad that Kaneki had pushed up his shirt.

Kaneki made some remarks about how impressed he was that he was able to come without even being touched, but Tsukiyama was just gone.

Once he felt sure that he had the last of Kaneki's cum in his mouth, he released his spent cock and let his head fall back onto the bed. There was a part of him that wanted to keep his cum in his mouth for as long as he possibly could, but there was another part that argued against it with the impossible desire to swallow it over and over again. The sad conclusion was that he simply had to swallow it, but not before he appreciated every single aspect of its flavor and texture.

“How the hell did you get so gross?” Kaneki asked, sounding somewhat tired after everything they'd done. “I know some pretty fucked up ghouls, but, among them, you've definitely gotta be the weirdest.”

Tsukiyama smiled, feeling more than pleased. “Dear Kaneki, your perception of what's 'weird' is all based on your individual perception of what's 'normal'. Spend enough time with me and you might just find yourself weird as well.”

With a contemplative sort of look, Kaneki sat down on Tsukiyama's chest. “I think I may already be there.” Slowly, his expression was split by a smile of his own. “But I guess that if I spend more time with you, it won't be long before I think we're both normal. Is that what you meant? Funny.”

“Do you still think you're desperate for finding me funny?” he asked, resting his hands on Kaneki's thighs.

“Absolutely,” Kaneki replied. He slapped away his hands and tossed his leg over Tsukiyama's chest, grabbing his shorts from next to them as he dismounted him. After getting off the bed, he stepped back into his shorts with weak legs. Turning back to look at him, his eyes raked over Tsukiyama's body. Now that Kaneki wasn't in the way, Tsukiyama was able to look at himself and realized that he might not be in as bad of shape as he'd thought this time. His clothes had avoided any accidents this time, but his stomach was painted with his own cum.

Feeling awfully sticky, he pulled up his pants as he sat up and tried to avoid letting his shirt touch anything that it shouldn't.

“My, look at me. I think I may have a handkerchief on me somewhe-”

“Eat it.”

Halfway to getting it out of his pocket, he froze.

He knew what Kaneki was telling him to do. It didn't even sound that bad, and he was admittedly a little curious about it even, but doing in front of him was...

“I expect you to obey everything I say.”

Tsukiyama's cock responded shamefully to his voice. Looking between Kaneki and the mess on his stomach one last time, he swiped his fingers through it and quickly brought it to his mouth. He tried to swallow it quickly. It wasn't the same as eating Kaneki's. Even when he was forced to feed on his own flesh that time, he didn't treat it as a welcomed experience.

Though he swallowed it fast, he could still taste it at the back of his tongue, and he made a face. It wasn't bad. He already had an idea of what it might taste like, but it was a lot more disappointing than he imagined, especially after having Kaneki's which was far superior in comparison.

Kaneki hovered nearby, looking at him with vague curiosity. “...And? You're always going on about how things taste.”

The unvoiced question was obvious. Kaneki wanted to know what it tasted like.

“It doesn't feel right to compare when yours is in a completely different league,” he admitted solemnly. “Yours is both simple and complex, being milder and more mellow while also posessing a special sweetness that's hard to place. In short, it was just the thing to satisfy my craving.” But it was also enough to make him hunger for more.

That might have been a little more descriptive than Kaneki was expecting because his pale cheeks reddened. “'Good' would've been enough.”

A silence that reminded him of the slight silence that came between them at the bookstore suddenly fell and made him feel intensely aware of what they'd done. His desires as a gourmet always got the better of him and made him forget where he was. Kaneki must have been experiencing similar thoughts because when he glanced up, he noticed him also looking down and to the side, his brows turned up in grave concern.

“I don't think the others heard,” he said, sounding unconvinced of his own words. It seemed like he was back to his usual self again.

“Y-yeah. Probably not. Don't worry about it.” He wasn't convinced either.

Backing up, awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck, Kaneki gave him room to stand. “You should go now,” he said, though it came out as more of a suggestion than a command.

Tsukiyama's chest tightened when he saw the hesitant expression on Kaneki's face. This sweet Kaneki was indeed the best dessert, sweeter than any other. He was glad he hadn't eaten him yet. This dessert was best saved for later.

Stopping by the door, Tsukiyama ran his fingers through his hair and took a deep, cleansing breath, hoping that it would help bring his complexion back to normal if it hadn't already evened out. His heart was still doing something unexplainable, but he didn't have the mind to worry about it. Kaneki looked at him like he had more to say, so he inclined his head slightly, gesturing for him to say it now if he were going to say anything at all.

“I'm not going to invite you back,” he said, lifting his left hand to chew on his black-tipped thumbnail. He gave him a pointed glare, then crossed his arms over his chest, marching to the door. “I'm sure you'll just show up here again anyway. Bring a book for yourself next time. We'll go out.”

Giving him no room to respond, he opened the door and practically shoved him out. He followed him all the way to the hallway outside with a distrustful eye, but Tsukiyama figured it was just a guise to make the others think his presence was unwanted.

After all, they'd gone through a lot together in a day and a half, but now he felt like he could confidently say that he was on Kaneki's good side.