Chapter Text
Hilda sat across from a boy with long, purplish, straight hair that reached his shoulders. His hair wasn't the only thing that was long on him either. He had a long nose, long fingers, long arms. He just was... long. She wondered if something else on him was long too, to keep with the theme. His skin was bordering on too pale and his eyes were slim and cat-like. Hilda was certain he was wearing makeup, not that she cared. He'd lined his eyes and put on some mascara that much she could tell. He'd maybe even taken the time to contour his face, which is more effort than Hilda had put in. She'd done the bare minimum of making herself look presentable. That's what she did for most of the dates she found herself on from an app.
Garreg Mach was one of the newest dating apps on the market trying to sell single twenty-somethings with time and money the idea of love. Hilda didn't mind the app. It was harmless and it had a steep pay-to-play which raised the bar of who got to use it. There were plenty of attractive people to be seen and just as many unattractive people. As far as dating apps went, it was nothing special. Although, Hilda's luck had led to each and every one of her dates being an utter failure. She supposed that was pretty special. This date was not breaking that streak either.
Lorenz Hellman Gloucester was a rich boy who had messaged Hilda first, as most people did. There wasn't anything remotely interesting about him and she knew that before hearing him talk. He was an average, run-of-the-mill, rich type that Hilda didn't much care for. She had only agreed to the date because she liked torturing herself and the prospect of a free dinner was something she didn't turn down lightly, regardless of the company. He had even offered to take her to one of the fanciest restaurants around. She'd taken the bait and was currently paying handsomely for it.
Hilda swished her wine around in her glass and eyed it. How much wine had she had already? She couldn't remember. She gulped down the rest of the glass and looked at Lorenz with one of the most glassy-eyed stares she could muster. "Lorenz, excuse me, I just have a question," she said out of the blue. He was going on about his accomplishments so she didn't feel bad for cutting him off midsentence.
"Oh, yes, of course. What is it?"
Hilda looked back at her now empty glass wishing it was magically filled again. "How do you feel about pegging?" she said offhandedly. She peeked up at Lorenz to note his reaction.
Lorenz's face had somehow drained of more color which Hilda hadn't thought would be possible. He was white as a sheet. His mouth had dropped open and all that came out was, "P-Pegging?"
"Yeah," Hilda said with a wave of her hand and a shrug. "Like, you know, if I were to wear a strap and—"
"I know what pegging is," Lorenz said quickly, cutting her off before she could get too graphic at the dinner table. He tried to play it off as he straightened his suit jacket. "Why would you ask a question like that in public? It's not very... becoming of a lady such as yourself." He cleared his throat nervously.
Hilda rolled her eyes. Clearly, Lorenz had no idea what he'd gotten himself into. Though, he wouldn't know as Hilda had barely said anything about herself. The only time Lorenz even bothered to let her speak was when she was asking about him. Or if she was talking about herself, he was just waiting for her to finish so he could continue to talk about himself. "Is it yes or no, Lorenz?" Hilda said more curtly.
"Um, well, I've never... considered it before, I suppose." It was clear that Lorenz didn't want to have this conversation and Hilda knew from his answer that he meant no. He also seemed a bit too nervous which made Hilda curious. Most guys she asked were either firmly against or for it. Though none of it truly mattered. She had just wanted to throw him off and it had worked.
Hilda nodded once and placed her napkin on the table to indicate she was done. "Well, I've had a pleasant evening," she said with a smile. She stood up from the table. "I'm going to the bathroom. I will not be coming back." As she passed him, she pecked his cheek and handed him a fifty-dollar bill. "Please don't call me."
Lorenz looked stunned as he watched her saunter off to the bathroom. He couldn't tell if she was drunk or just a bitch. Maybe a little bit of both.
Hilda plopped onto the toilet in one of the stalls with a soft sigh. She hated fancy restaurant bathrooms. They never had enough supportive drunk women to make Hilda feel better. She rested her elbows on her knees and her head in her hands. What a boring date. He didn't even want to talk about anything fun. All he wanted to talk about his family's money and what he did for a living and blah blah blah. As if she cared. She rolled her eyes just thinking about it. After a long moment, she pulled out her phone and called the one person she could think to call after such a night.
"Hey, Mari," Hilda said sweetly into the phone.
"Are you in a bathroom again? I can hear you peeing," was how Marianne responded. She didn't sound thrilled, but this sort of thing happened often enough not to surprise her. "I told you to stop calling me when you're doing that. It's weird. And I'm busy."
Hilda laughed. "You could not answer the phone and then you wouldn't have to hear it."
"Of course, Hilda. I won't answer your call and then I'll get six more calls in a row. Then you'll never let me live it down that I didn't answer your call." She sounded frustrated but Hilda could tell that it wasn't directed at her, though she knew that she wasn't helping. There was a loud clang and the sound of water splashing. Marianne must've been doing her dishes.
"At least I'm just peeing. Anyway, I'm coming over in like twenty."
"Hilda, you can't! My place is a disaster. You know I'm moving." There was another loud bang followed by a short series of very tame curses. Hilda couldn't help the smile spreading across her lips.
"Yeah, yeah, yeah. You say that, but when I get there it'll look like nothing happened at all." Hilda ungracefully balanced her phone between her cheek and shoulder as she tried to grab toilet paper. She'd had maybe one too many glasses of wine, but Lorenz had nearly bored her to tears. It was all she could do to stay sane.
Marianne sighed. "Fine, come over if you want. It's not like there would be anything I could do to stop you. You don't listen to me."
"I listen to everything you say, Mari. I just don't follow your orders."
"I'm hanging up now. I can hear you struggling. Why don't you focus on going to the bathroom for once?"
"You doubt me." But as Hilda said that her phone clattered to the floor. She heard the very faint sound of Marianne saying goodbye and then the call ended.
Hilda hated driving—she had failed her driver's test two times and didn't try a third—she hated taking Uber, and she hated the subway. What she hated the most was her parents knowing where she was. It narrowed her options of travel exponentially and nearly nixed the idea of taking any of her family's cars and drivers. So she was stuck in the back of an Uber with her phone being blown up by Lorenz. He wasn't doing anything particularly heinous and he did deserve to know why she had left so abruptly, but she didn't have the energy. She thought she had been fairly clear about never speaking to him again so she had figured that would be enough explanation. Marianne had also texted her telling her that she was a nuisance which was very Marianne. She had not sent Hilda another text outside of that.
Hilda had her driver drop her off at a convenience store near Marianne's house so she could pick up Marianne's favorite cheap, bulk wine—a gift for being an inconvenience. Hilda decided she'd walk the rest of the way. The night was warm and as she got closer to Marianne's house she could feel her heartbeat start to pick up. There was nothing, in particular, to be nervous about. But Hilda felt wave after wave of anxious excitement at the thought of seeing her. It didn't take long until she was opening up Marianne's apartment door with her key.
"I'm here!" Hilda called as she entered.
The house smelled like popcorn and Hilda looked over to see Marianne sitting on her couch eating a giant bowl of it. She was wearing basketball shorts, a hoodie, and had her hair tied up in a tight bun. The couch was the only piece of furniture left in the room. The rest of the room was covered in cardboard boxes and trash bags. Hilda hadn't expected the house to be so barren. She felt a pit in her stomach. Marianne really was moving. She shook it off quickly and held up the bottle of wine.
"You're late," Marianne said with a raised eyebrow. She made no attempt to sit up from her very relaxed position. "You said twenty. It's been forty-five minutes."
"What are you? My mom?" Hilda walked over and placed the wine bottle in Marianne's lap. "I picked up wine from the store down the street and walked from there. Anyway, this blazer is itchy. Let me borrow some clothes." Without waiting for an answer, she turned and headed straight to Marianne's bedroom. She heard Marianne get up to follow her.
Hilda wasted no time going through Marianne's closet. Marianne's style was drab in Hilda's opinion. It optimized comfort over style. There were fewer options now that Marianne had packed away most of her clothing. After pulling out a few options, Hilda stripped down to her panties, tossing her clothes aside as if they didn't much matter to her. They didn't, of course. If she needed new ones, then she'd just get new ones. Marianne was leaned against the doorframe watching Hilda. Her gaze was curious but that was where it ended. Hilda started holding up shirts in front of herself as if she were truly thinking about her outfit.
"Hilda, was your date that bad?" Marianne asked as she folded her arms over her chest. Hilda could tell that she was trying not to stare by her quick glances at the floor.
Hilda shrugged and tossed aside a t-shirt. "He was just really boring. So many guys on that app are. They only want to talk about themselves and how big their balls are. And he didn't even want to be pegged. Can you believe that?"
Marianne shook her head and sighed. "You have to stop asking people if they want to be pegged on the first date."
"It's not like I liked him, so it doesn't really matter."
"Why are you torturing yourself with these awful dates again? You don't seem very happy."
Hilda sighed and leaned against the closet door, clutching a shirt close to her chest. "Because I have to. My parents are... expecting it. Holst found a wife. So I have to now or whatever..." She looked down at the ground and toyed mindlessly with the hem of the shirt. "Well, and they think if I find someone then I'll calm down. But honestly, I don't want to. I want to keep doing what I'm doing. I'm twenty-three. Why stop now?"
Marianne grunted softly. "Well, I wish I could have that life. Some of us have work in the morning."
Hilda looked up at Marianne. "Do you want to sleep together?" she asked quietly. "I kind of want to."
Marianne's face barely changed even though Hilda was trying desperately to look alluring. "I was going to just get high..." Marianne rubbed the back of her neck while she thought about it. "We have to take a shower first if we're going to."
"Why do you want to shower before having sex?" Hilda said as she crossed her arms over her chest. She tapped her foot impatiently. It seemed like a waste of time to her.
Marianne looked confused. "I like to be clean?"
"Yeah, but you're just going to get all sweaty and messy. Shouldn't you shower after? That makes more sense."
"I don't necessarily think that you'd be getting very sweaty. You don't really do much, do you?"
Hilda's jaw dropped. "Marianne!" Marianne had already dipped out of the room and was heading toward the bathroom. Hilda shuffled after her, abandoning the clothes she had been eyeing. "Oh my God, Marianne. I put in work."
Marianne made a soft 'mhmm' noise as she flicked on the light and fan in the bathroom. The bright lights made Hilda wince as she closed the door behind them. The bathroom was a little bit tight for two and barren aside from the bare essentials that Marianne needed. It was made even tighter with Marianne starting to undress. Hilda could almost forgive what Marianne had said as she watched her breasts pop out from her unhooked bra. Almost.
"Marianne, I'll have you know that I do plenty in bed."
Marianne just nodded as she started the water. Hilda bit her tongue. It was a lost cause at this point. She knew that Marianne was teasing her to some degree. It wasn't like they hadn't had sex on a handful of occasions before where Hilda had done more than her fair share. They just both liked getting a well-meaning rise out of one another. She turned her attention on queuing up music for their shower.
"Water's warm," Marianne said quietly as she stepped in. Hilda quickly set her phone aside and hopped in with her.
The shower was tight, though they had a little bit of space to not touch if they didn't want to. Marianne started by washing her hair, humming softly to the music. Hilda watched her for a moment. She didn't want to shower. She was just there to humor Marianne since apparently showering was a prerequisite to having sex with her today.
Marianne's blue, wavey hair fell effortlessly down her shoulders and back. Her arms were thin with only a little bit of muscle, unlike Hilda's much more toned arms. Her stomach was soft and round, which was one of Hilda's favorite things. Everything about Marianne was soft and round. Her cheeks, her ears, her eyes, her butt, her breasts. Hilda's heart leaped into her throat when Marianne opened her eyes to look at her.
"What?" Marianne asked. Hilda could tell by the quietness of it she had finally succumbed to her self-consciousness.
"Nothing," Hilda said quickly, looking away. "You're just cute as usual." She let out a short laugh trying to play it off.
As much as Hilda hated to admit it, Marianne wasn't exactly who she wanted to catch feelings for. She loved Marianne to death which was why she knew Marianne deserved much better than her. Hilda could never be as thoughtful and caring as Marianne was. Things would just be... bad for them.
Marianne nodded her head in the general direction of Hilda's phone. "This song reminds me of you."
Hilda tilted her head as she focused on listening. "Roxanne? That reminds you of me?"
"Yeah," Marianne said with a nod. "All she wants to do is party all night. That about sums you up."
Hilda snorted. "You really know how to flatter a girl, don't you?
Marianne smiled and Hilda was, again, unable to stay mad at her. She wrapped an arm around Marianne's neck and dragged her down for a kiss. Marianne braced herself against the shower wall and Hilda's heart fluttered. Being pinned under Marianne never ceased to do that. Her hand involuntarily gripped Marianne's hip tightly as she steadied herself. Their kiss only lasted a few seconds but it felt like an eternity for Hilda. When Marianne pulled away, Hilda let out a long breath of air.
Hilda let Marianne wash her back, enjoying the slight pressure Marianne added as she scrubbed down her spine. If Hilda could, she would've done the back archy thing cats do when they're pet. All the massaging and the warmth of the water was starting to make her sleepy. It was then she understood Marianne's plan.
"Ah, you never intended to have sex with me," Hilda said quietly. Her eyes fluttered closed and she made a soft noise as Marianne hit a tender spot with her thumb.
"That's not entirely true." Marianne's voice was soft and gentle. It calmed Hilda to her core. "If we made it there, I already gave you my yes. I never did say I wouldn't try and tire you out first."
Hilda chuckled. "Fair enough. It worked. I'm exhausted."
"Good." Marianne wrapped her arms around Hilda and rested her head on top of Hilda's. She let out a long sigh. "Are you okay? Serious answer only."
Hilda closed her eyes and let herself be consumed by Marianne. It felt safe and secure. Marianne's arms wrapped around her perfectly and the crook of her chin was practically made for Hilda's head. She didn't want to give Marianne the serious answer. It would ruin everything and make things complicated. But she couldn't lie to Marianne.
"I'm... doing my best," Hilda murmured. "You don't need to worry about me though. I won't do anything too stupid. Just a little stupid."
"I respect your wishes if you don't want me to get involved. I won't even pry that deep. However, you can't stop me from worrying about you. We've been friends since high school. It's a little hard for me to not worry about my best friend."
"Yeah, yeah." She shoved Marianne off of her. "We're clean and I'm tired. Can we go now?"
"Oh, yeah. Of course."
They got out of the shower and Marianne stretched. Her skin was a bit red from the hot water and Hilda couldn't help but smile at her. Her chest felt heavy as she watched Marianne start drying herself off. She wanted nothing more than to reach out and touch her, but somehow Marianne felt so far away now. She took the towel Marianne handed her and wrapped it around herself.
"So you were going to get high?" Hilda asked deviously.
Marianne narrowed her eyes. "I think I should say no to you, but I have no reason to. I guess it's your lucky day."
Hilda gave Marianne a wide smile, scrunching up her eyes. "Thank you, Mari!" She jumped onto her toes to peck Marianne on the cheek.
"I'll go get everything. I'll meet you in the bedroom when you're ready." Marianne patted her gently on the cheek before exiting the bathroom.
Hilda blew a raspberry once Marianne was gone. Getting high wasn't going to solve any of her problems but at least she wouldn't be sober. It was finally sinking in. This would be gone once Marianne left. She wasn't sure was this was. It wasn't anything and it wasn't nothing. Either way she didn't want it to be gone. She focused on not letting the tears leave her eyes.