Chapter Text
Donatello stared at the note in his hands. Michelangelo was looking at Leo. Leonardo's gaze was off in the distance.
Eventually, Donatello looked up from the note and to Leo as well. "This is a trap."
"Of course it is."
"So what do we do?" asked Mikey.
Leo's eyes turned, finally returning his brothers' gazes. "We rescue Raph."
* * *
Raphael strained against his bonds, the ropes chafing his arms and legs as he tried to move.
"Don't bother," said a mobster, standing in front of him, watching with a sneer. "You're not getting out of there."
Raph narrowed his eyes and sent a hate-fueled glare at the man. He wanted to do more, but the gag in his mouth prevented him from giving the man a tongue-lashing and the ropes prevented him from giving him an actual lashing.
The mobster only laughed in response. "You've got spirit, I'll say that much. I kinda wanna keep you, but I have a feeling there are scientists out there who'll pay big bucks for you. Those friends of yours, too."
Raph's vision went red. He started thrashing against his bonds, ignoring the ropes cutting into him as he caused the chair he was stuck in to rock.
The mobster watched with a smirk.
* * *
Shining through the windows of the warehouse, the moon was Raph's only source of light. It illuminated him, tied to this damn chair in the middle of this damn warehouse. He could see the mobsters in the shadows, waiting for his brothers to show themselves. He knew they were carrying tranquilizers and orders not to pull out their real guns unless absolutely necessary, so their prizes would be as undamaged as possible to sell to the laboratories. He knew that if they did have to pull out their guns, their orders were to shoot to hurt, not kill. He also knew that if they were in danger of escaping, a corpse was more valuable than nothing at all.
Raph hoped his brothers never came. He wasn't worth it.
He must have sat there for an hour when a cloud passed over the moon, and there, at the window, he saw them. It was like they had come with the shadow, and nobody but a trained ninja like Raph who knew exactly how his brothers operated would have seen them. The window opened silently, and the three shadows dropped into the dark warehouse, disappearing. By the time any of the mobsters stirred, Raph's estimate was that his brothers had silently taken down at least half of them. Suddenly, out of nowhere, there was a gunshot, and Donatello came hurtling out of the shadows and onto the floor in front of Raph. The moonlight reflected off the blood leaking from his shoulder.
In an instant, all hell broke loose. Raph screamed his brother's name into his gag. Leo and Mikey dashed out of hiding as the remaining mobsters also emerged and started shooting. Katanas and nunchucks were out in a flash, deflecting the tranquilizer darts.
"Mikey! Protect Don!" barked Leo. The orange-banded turtle nodded once, then raced to his injured older brother, some well-placed thwacks to the head with the spinning ends of his nunchucks taking care of the mobsters who were trying to approach him. Leo, meanwhile, ran to Raph, his swords deflecting projectiles, slicing through his brother's restraints with one clean stroke of each weapon. Raph stood up, pulling off his gag and taking a step towards Donnie, only to stumble, muscles protesting from having been tied up so long. Leo caught him with his left arm, using the right to deflect the projectiles now aimed at both of them, some now real bullets. Leo and Raph made their way to their younger brothers. Donnie was now standing, leaning on Mikey for support. "Let's go," said Leo, and the four ran for the exit, the voice of the mob leader shouting after them.
* * *
It was nearing dawn by the time the brothers got home. The mobsters had given chase after they ran from the warehouse and having one brother injured and another unsteady meant they couldn't simply disappear as they usually would. Instead, they had to flee into the city, just managing to stay ahead of the mobsters, using the shadows and alleyways to drop the mobsters one by one, all the while trying to take care of Donnie's gunshot wound. Eventually, Raph had been able to walk on his own and tried to take Donnie from Mikey, since he was the strongest, but Leo forbade it and Mikey refused to hand him over. Don gave Raph a sympathetic smile, trying not to grimace from the pain he was in, and told him he was fine.
When they got home, Master Splinter greeted them. Clearly, he hadn't slept, waiting for their return and worrying for their safety. Mikey went to put their exhausted sensei to bed while Leo, having taken Donnie from his youngest brother once they made it into the sewers, took the purple-masked ninja to his lab, which doubled as the turtles' infirmary. Donnie always patched his brothers up when they got hurt, but when the genius himself got hurt, it was usually Leo putting him back together, since he had the steadiest hands and easiest time distancing himself emotionally from the task at hand.
As Leo escorted Donnie to the infirmary, he told Raph to go to bed. Instead, the red-banded ninja went to the dojo and started laying into his punching bag. Mikey came out of his father's room and saw his second-oldest brother, he gave him a worried look, but after carrying his brother across half the city at a run, he was too tired to try doing anything about it.
Half an hour later, Raph stopped hitting his punching bag as he became aware of another presence. He turned and sure enough, there was Leo, leaning on the door frame. His eyes went back to his punching bag, though he didn't start hitting it again. "How's Donnie?" he finally asked.
"Asleep," answered the leader, "like you should be."
"I'm not tired."
"Like hell you aren't. Mikey never gets tired, and he's out like a light."
"Well, he just carried Donnie across half of Manhattan, so who can blame him?"
"And you were captured."
"Sure. Rub it in, why don't ya?"
Leo dragged his hand down his face, dark eyes looking up at the ceiling. "Raph, please, I'm too tired to do this right now."
"Then you should go to bed."
"You really think I'm going to be able to sleep knowing you're out here, beating yourself up?"
Raph's whole body turned to face his older brother. "I don't need you to baby me, Leo! And I certainly didn't need you to rescue me."
Leo narrowed his eyes. "Is that what you call it? The mob had you tied up in the middle of a warehouse."
"Donnie got hurt!"
"That happens sometimes, Raph."
"Well it shouldn't!"
"I agree, but what it should be and what it is aren't the same thing. You know that better than any of us."
"Why would you even go in there?! You must have known it was a trap!"
"Of course I did."
"Then why?!"
"Because if I hadn't, we never would have seen you again."
"You put Donnie and Mikey in danger!"
"Our lives are dangerous, Raph. We all came home."
"Yeah, somehow. Even after you deliberately walked Donnie and Mikey into a trap, got Don shot, let Mikey protect him then carry him all over New York when I could have taken him!" As he talked, Raph began to approach his brother. Leo didn't move.
"You can't do everything, Raph. And Mikey did just fine protecting Donnie."
"Damn ya! You don't care, do ya?!"
"Of course I care. They're my brothers."
"Then why put them in danger?!"
"Because you're my brother too."
"Gah! What is this? Your damn honor talkin'?" Raph pushed past Leo and walked out of the dojo, headed for the stairs, throwing one last sentence over his shoulder. "Too bad you can't choose your family, huh?"
The silence that followed told Raph his words had stung Leo. When the leader finally broke it, it was with one word: "Bullshit."
Raph froze. Under normal circumstances, the only words the leader ever used that even resembled swears were "hell" and "damn". And the tone of voice that told the hothead that this conversation, which he had meant to end with those words, was most definitely not over. Raph turned to face his brother.
"Master Splinter chose us, didn't he?" said Leo, voice biting without being raised a decibel. "He didn't have to care for us, but he did. He didn't have to call us his sons, but he did. He chose us." The blue-banded ninja pushed off the wall and started walking towards Raph. His eyes never broke contact. "And you're my brother. Not because we're both Master Splinter's sons, not because of some blood connection that may or may not exist, but because I love you. I chose you." Leo was now right in front of Raph. Raph could do nothing but stare at him. Leo's eyes bored into his. "Do you think that your well-being means less than Donnie's or Mikey's? Because it doesn't mean less to me. I did the same thing tonight that I would have done for them. Not out of honor or duty, but because I love you, plain and simple, just like I love them. I will gladly make any sacrifice necessary to keep you alive and well and happy and I will ask for nothing in return because you are my brother. I love you. Unconditionally. So whether you feel the same way is irrelevant. And that's my choice. I chose you, Raphael. And I've never regretted that choice for a second."
With that, Leo brushed past him to walk across the living room to the staircase and his room, slamming the door behind him. He didn't look back once as Raph stood there, stunned.
When his brain recovered from the shock and caught up with everything that had just happened, Raph wanted to slap himself for being so stupidly careless. In trying to insinuate that, given the choice, Leo wouldn't and shouldn't consider him family to the same degree as Donnie and Mikey, he'd somehow also suggested that, given the same choice, he wouldn't have chosen Leo either. And it didn't take a genius to figure out that Leo had been deeply hurt by that insinuation. And so, with a few thoughtless words, Raph had screwed up royally.
In Raph's eyes, he was the expendable one of the group. Donnie was the genius, Leo was the leader, and Mikey was the heart of the family. He was the strong one, which made it his job to protect his brothers. And maybe he felt particularly protective toward the younger ones, but he loved Leo just as fiercely. He just assumed that the fact he'd throw himself in front of anything to save his older brother, be it train, bullet, or Shredder, was enough to show he cared.
He just assumed everyone saw the world the same way he did.
Of course, saying it aloud, or even just in his head, that sounded ridiculous. For one thing, if Leo saw things the same way he did, the two of them wouldn't argue nearly as much. Raph knew Leo would gladly give his life to save his brothers, to save any one of them. But that was the only sacrifice he was willing to make. And even then, only if absolutely necessary. The general rule was "We all get out alive, anything less is unacceptable."
And that was great and all, and probably a good rule for a leader to have. But if Leo could save Donnie and Mikey, and hell, even himself, why would he risk that to save Raph? Raph was the expendable one. It was his job to die for his brothers. Sure, he wanted to live as much as the next turtle, but life didn't always give you what you wanted, especially if you were a giant mutant turtle. If it came down to it, Raph should be the one making the sacrifice. Not Leo, and certainly not Donnie or Mikey.
Except clearly Leo didn't see it that way.
Raph raked a hand down his face. He may not have wanted to admit it, but he was exhausted, far too much to even begin fixing the mess he'd made. Hopefully, he'd have a clearer head and some idea of what to do in the morning.
Before he went to bed, Raph couldn't resist checking under Leo's door. The light was off, but that could mean anything. Raph sighed in frustration and went into his room, collapsing onto his bed.
It was a long time before he quieted his mind enough to sleep.