Chapter Text
Inkopolis Square: a bustling hub of cephalopod activity and energy. A circle of shops and businesses surrounded the biggest social center in Inkopolis. Dozens of humanoid sea creatures---such as inklings, octarians, and jellies---were gathered discussing recent gossip with one another. Even after Off the Hook's last Splatfest, the area was still the place to be for anyone who was anyone to do anything worth doing.
Among all its services, the most valuable was the local Turf War lobby, Deca Tower. Two teams of players walked out of Deca Tower wishing each other good sportsmanship as they each passed an orange-haired inkling in a dark hoodie. The inkling was leaning against a wall with her arms crossed, listening to music through her Hero Headset Replica.
As another team walked by her, this one to enter Deca Tower, she pulled out her phone to check the time. Her friend was running late. She had been waiting here so long it was almost time for Inkopolis News to announce the next rotation of stages and ranked modes.
As if on cue, Off the Hook's intro theme for Inkopolis News played. Despite her headset, the inkling could still hear the two hosts announce the current news. She glanced to her left and saw the duo was recording it live from their studio adjacent to Deca Tower.
“Y'all know what time it is!” a short inkling with white and pink tentacles cheered.
“It's Off the Hook, coming at you live from Inkopolis Square!” a tall octoling with black and teal tentacles added.
“Yo, Marina, before we start, let's give people the deets!” the short inkling said.
“That's right. We have an important PSA for everyone. It seems the flu season is lasting a little longer this year. Remember to wash your hands and stay home when sick.” There was a pause as the sound of a record scratch could be heard. The inkling guessed they were transitioning to sharing the current stages.
Despite the transition, the shorter inkling continued with the flu PSA. In an uncharacteristically serious tone, she said “Yeah, it ain't fresh to play Turf War when your sick. What if one of your teammates is immunocompromised?”
There was another brief pause. The inkling had met the pink-haired inkling before, and to be bluntly honest, she was surprised she even knew what immunocompromised meant. Finally, Marina broke the silence. “Um, thanks for the additional PSA, Pearl. You ready to tell people about the current stage rotations?”
Without hesitation, Pearl went back to their main topic. “Check it! Here are the current regular battle stages!”
For the rest of the news segment, they listed the regular battle stages as Moray Towers and The Reef, the ranked battle stages as Clam Blitz for Inkblot Art Academy and Muscleforge Fitness, and the league battle stages as Tower Control for Camp Triggerfish and Pirahna Pit.
After waiting for the news to end, the inkling used the SplatNet app on her phone to message her friend. She would try to be polite, but she had been waiting for two hours.
---
■Webmaster■ Agent_3J has joined the chatroom.
Agent_3J > 8 whats taking so long?
InnerAgent8 > ?
Agent_3J > We were supposed to meet inInkopolis Square 2 hours ago.
InnerAgent8 > !
InnerAgent8 > I'm sorry! I forgot that was today! I thought it was yesterday!
Agent_3J > You thought we were supposed to meet yesterday?
InnerAgent8 > No
InnerAgent8 > I thought today was yesterday.
InnerAgent8 > I will be on my way there soon!
Agent_3J > Seeya. And keep your distance from people. The flu is still going strong right now.
InnerAgent8 > Okay.
■Webmaster■ InnerAgent8 has left the chatroom.
---
The same day, an inkling with white-and-green hair had just picked her cousin up from the airport. As her cousin buckled her seatbelt, the inkling asked “So how did filming go, Callie?”
“Great!” Callie answered cheerfully, a large smile spread across her face. Her smile shrank slightly. “There was one issue though... “
The green-haired inkling reached across and opened the car's glove-compartment and---without looking---pointed to a pink, squid-shaped phone held inside. “You left this behind?”
“Yeah...” Callie admitted. She picked it up and tried to turn it on. When it did not respond, she assumed the battery was dead and put it away. “I wasn't able to keep up with everyone, Marie, so could you tell me what the Splatoon's been up to lately?”
Marie kept her focus on escaping the parking lot, so she didn't make eye-contact. However, her thinking was visible on her face as she tried to summarize the recent events of each of the agents. “Well... I've been working on my next solo album. And I've been trying to see if our manager would let us get any of our friends involved; like, think about how well Agent 3's mixing could go with one of our songs.”
“Yeah, totally!”
“Speaking of 3... she and 8 have been trying to climb to X rank together in league battle. As a side note, Agent 3 hates Clam Blitz, and she insists Clam Blitz hates her.”
Callie sighed. “Does anyone even like Clam Blitz?”
“Someone's gotta, somewhere...” After a dramatic pause, Marie continued. “Anyway, Pearl and Marina are apparently preparing something big for their next album, but they won't say what. Then-:”
Reminded of something, Callie interrupted “What does 'immunocompromised' mean?”
“'Immunocompromised'? It means a bad immune system.” Before Callie could ask another question, Marie added “Meaning you get sick easier, and regular sicknesses can be really bad for you. Why do you ask, is everything alright?”
“What? Oh, yeah, totally! I just heard it on the news recently and wasn't sure what it meant,” Callie explained.
“Why didn't you just...” Marie stopped herself.
But Callie finished the sentence for her while holding up her phone. “...Look it up?”
“Right...”
There was a pause. “So, what are Gramps and 4 up to? I'm sure you know exactly what 4's up to,” Callie teased. Her teasing was in reference to Marie's Agent 4 Factopedia, a possession of Marie's which Callie was uncertain in regards to its legal status.
Ignoring Callie's comment, Marie answered the question. “Gramps' been playing old-people games with Octavio.”
“Which ones?”
“Mostly Go and shogi, but a little chess too.”
“I thought you liked Go?”
Marie gave a signature smirk. “I do, but it's still an old-people game.”
“Okay, Grandma,” Callie joked.
Marie realized she had been too busy driving to say any sass of her own. To rectify this, she continued to answer “Agent 4 has found herself with a lot of free time lately, with you not getting squidnapped or brainwashed for the last two weeks, so she's been doing some extra shifts of Salmon Run and working at the café.”
“It was one time!”
“Twelve, actually, but who's counting?”
“Fine... But why is she doing extra shifts instead of enjoying her time off?”
“Well,” Marie began, realizing she would have a relatively long story to tell, “She and 8 have been having some issues with their landlord, so she wants to save enough money to move into a different apartment building.” Callie was about to speak, but Marie continued “And she's not accepting donations, before you say anything. I've already tried...”
“What about Agent 8? Isn't she saving money, too?”
Marie sighed. “She is, but 4 wants to split it evenly: 80-20.”
“Wait, who-:”
“Agent 4 is paying the 80%, but I only know that from my Factopedia research. As far as she's told anyone, it's 50-50. Can we change the subject, this one... annoys me a little.”
“Okay.” Callie stared out the window as Marie turned out of the airport's parking lot and finally onto the main road. She watched the people bustling about the area, trying to find their way from point A to point B and point Y to point Z. The sky was mostly blue, but a light, orange tint was visible from the setting sun. “Did you see the news today? With Pearl and Marina?”
“No, hadn't gotten around to it. What are they talking about to bring up 'immunocompromised'?” Marie looked at the traffic light ahead and saw it was still green, so she kept at her current speed.
“Apparently people are still getting the flu right now. I'm not sure why everyone is so worried though.”
“The flu usually isn't too bad, but sometimes-:” Marie slammed on the brakes. Some car made an illegal turn in front of her. “Nice driving squidbag!”
The rude driver stuck a finger out their window as they soared by.
Callie took a couple deep breaths to recompose herself. Marie apologized to her. “Sorry about that. What was I saying again? Oh right: People can still die from the flu.”