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WELCOME BACK TO THE VLOG, steven universe here!

Summary:

tubetube.com/users/stevenquartzuniverse

~Steven Universe~
1,043,325 subscribers

OR

according to the shorts, steven has a youtube channel! here are some of his videos from throughout the series

Notes:

this is an attempt to fill the void steven universe has left in my heart

this chapter takes place before gem glow

Chapter 1: CHANNEL INTRO!!!!!

Notes:

EDIT AS OF DEC 25, 2020: i now own a copy of this in physical form?? and its 461 pages

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

CHANNEL INTRO!!!!!

published April 1

The camera shifts as whoever is holding it attempts to set it up on what sounds like a precarious stack of various items. Sounds of the camera being set up muffle whatever the person recording is murmuring to themself. This continues for a few more seconds longer than would be ideal. 

Finally, blissful silence.

The scene is of a bedroom, facing the bed head-on. Lots of natural light shines through enormous windows, casting the headboard and the toys on it in a golden glow. It would be beautiful if it didn’t look like it was being recorded on a toaster.

A young boy who looks to be around eight years old comes into frame and clambers onto his bed. He grins and waves at the camera. “Hi, TubeTube! My name is Steven Universe!”

Distantly, there’s the sound of an explosion. Steven winces. “Sorry about the audio issues, guys.” He sits uncomfortably for a moment, pursing his lips and picking at the threads of his comforter. “Umm.. right, okay, so…”

Steven looks back up at the camera. “My name is Steven Universe, and this is my first video. I’m not quite sure what the majority of my channel will be, but I was too excited not to film this! I’m part of the Crystal Gems.”

Another explosion, but much closer. Steven casts an uneasy glance towards his right, camera’s left, but looks back with a smile. He lifts up his shirt to reveal what the camera picks up as a pink blob where his belly button should be. “The Crystal Gems have magic powers that help them protect the Earth, and I’m part Gem too. I don’t know how much other people know about the Gems, so I might try to document everything that happens!”

A third explosion, now so close it peaks the audio. The camera wobbles, tilting to the side a dangerous amount, and Steven squeaks in alarm. 

“Sorry! That was the Gems just now. They’re” --he grabs the camera, looking into it for a moment and then away to his right-- “fighting some monster? I can’t see what it is. Hold on.”

Steven runs down the stairs, the camera pointing down at the floor. It pans up.

On the grassy ramp that leads up to his house, a huge creature, easily eight feet tall, roars and swipes at three smaller figures. It’s humanoid for the most part, with a rounded back and gigantic, muscled arms. One of the figures, a slender woman with ballet flats, hurls a brilliant glowing spear at it, but misses, and the spear impales itself in the wall of Steven’s house. It would have been absolutely sick to watch, but unfortunately, the camera quality still matches that of a microwave.

Steven turns the camera to face him. “That was Pearl and Garnet and Amethyst! That’s the kind of stuff they protect humanity from!”

A voice cries out from the scene of the fight. “Steven? What are you doing? Get inside!” 

“Can I help?” Steven yells back.

“Absolutely not,” a much sterner, calmer voice replies. “It’s too dangerous for you right now.”

Steven turns the camera back towards the fight. As soon as he does, the humanoid creature vanishes. “Woah!” Steven breathes, much too close to the camera. Rest in peace, headphone users.

“Did we poof it?” one of the women asks.

“I don’t see its gem anywhere, Amethyst.”

“Bummer,” Amethyst says. Her voice is barely audible now. The camera is too far away. The slender woman, Pearl, says something. Amethyst shrugs. They start to fight. The last one, Garnet, turns away from them and looks directly into the camera. Her shades glisten. Her powers of intimidation can be felt even through the blender-like camera quality. Steven squeaks and runs back inside.

He grins at the camera. “Well, that’s all for this video! Thanks for watching! Make sure to subscribe to my channel--”

The door slams open and into the wall, causing many picture frames to rattle. “Hey Steven!” Amethyst calls. There’s the sound of the fridge opening and a plate being taken out.

“Wait, Amethyst, I was saving that for lunch today! AMETHYST, NO!” Steven yelps. The camera falls to the floor with a clatter. The video ends abruptly.

 

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Notes:

idk my exact upload schedule as of now (it'll probably be every wednesday, but i might expand to two updates a week)

kudos and comments are appreciated!
if you comment, your username will be used as a commenter on one of steven's videos!