Work Text:
You're walking through the hallways of one of the houses in your frankly ridiculously sized estate that you share with your loving husband, Elias Bouchard, when you stumble across a door you haven't seen before. This isn't the most unusual thing, as said house contains four reception rooms, seven bedrooms, three parlours, and God knows how many closets. You find it odd that you haven't seen this one in particular, though, considering you spend most of your time wandering the estate like a Victorian ghost whilst your dear husband is at the Institute, and this door is on the ground floor. A breeze sweeps down the hall, ruffling the pleats of your white dress. (You're a fan of gender neutral dresses. It's been an uphill battle to convince Elias to join you. You know you're going to get there someday. It's going to be glorious.) You reach your hand out to the doorknob, but before you can turn it you feel something brush your neck.
"Hello, darling" says your dear Elias as he stands on his tiptoes to press a kiss to your jaw. "How was traipsing the grounds today?"
"Oh, it was fine, sweetie. Where'd this door come from? I've not noticed it before."
"Ah, I had it put in in nineteen aught seven. Don't you like it?" He pouts, and you can't resist dropping a little kiss on the side of his mouth.
"Of course I do." You pause. "But I haven't seen it before. Are you sure it's always been here?"
Elias pushes away from you. "Of course. Why would you question it. Come on now, let's go to bed. I'm tired from evilly plotting all day. Please don't go in that door now or ever." He takes your hand and leads you up the spiralling staircase that leads to one of the master bedrooms. You say goodnight as you get into your matching "Eye of the Beholder" booty shorts and Onceler tees (it's Elias's favourite film) and tuck yourselves into your separate twin beds. Sleep comes easily and deeply to Elias and before long you can hear him snoring loudly. You creep out and down the halls until you're once again standing at the door. This is probably a bad idea, you think. You've met The Entity Formerly Known As Michael before. You know what doors can do. But you have an insatiable desire for adventure, so you open the door and step inside.
The hallway looks just like any other hallway in your home, which is to say made of concrete and stone and more like a basement than a hallway. How bizarre, you think. It must really just be an extension of the house you haven't noticed before. You walk for a long while before noticing that there seems to be a shadow in front of you, always darting out of sight when you get closer. It can't be Elias, he was most certainly asleep when you left your room. You sneak up as quietly as you can to a corner and peer around it to see none other than Jurgen fucking Leitner. God, you hate that man. Still, you admit that claiming a bunch of fucked up magic books as your own is pretty sexy. You and Elias have used some of them before for your own personal reasons.
"Surprise, bitch." You say as you jump out around the corner at him.
He looks out from over his glasses at you.
"No need for theatrics, Y/N. Can't a man have a late night snack in his own tunnels?"
You stare at him, mouth agape, while you process what he's said. "Your tunnels? These are mine and Elias's tunnels, thank you very much. This is our house."
Jurgen chuckles. "You're nearly to the Institute, you know. I believe these qualify as my tunnels now. Besides, I'm also married to Elias. So we can share, can't we?"
You decide not to take the time to process what he's just thrown at you and push by him, kicking him a little in the shin as you pass. Finally, after what feels like hours of walking, you make it to another door. This one is a bright yellow one, with a note in Elias's handwriting which says 'Keep out, Jurg! :p'. You push through the door at the other end to see none other than the Archivist and his two boyfriends holding hands while sitting on the floor in a circle. No wonder Elias goes on about how proud he is of his Archivist. He clearly never gets anything productive done.
"Hello, boys", you say with a smirk.
"Fuck off, Y/N" says Tim. "Get out of here. We're having boyfriend circle time."
You blow a kiss at Tim as he flips you off and you begin to make your way to the exit. You pause as you hear a creak from the door you entered through, and slowly turn around. None other than Elias bursts through the door and makes his way over to you.
"Y/N. Why would you go through the tunnels. Those were my secret house-direct-to-Institute tunnels for me and Jurgy." He appears on the verge of tears.
You reassure him with a pat on the head. "No need to worry, babe. I'm fine with the tunnels. I just wish you had told me. I could've come visited you at work so many times!"
Elias looks up at you and grins that evil grin you love so dearly. He pulls you down from the collar of your Onceler shirt until you're at eye level.
"Ah, so we're 'all good', then. I'm sure then you wouldn't mind apologising to me for going against my direct wishes."
You feel your cheeks burn as you stare directly into his unblinking eyes. They're the most beautiful shade of green you've ever seen, and you can't help but think of the original body they belonged to. Sometimes you wish you had been around in the 1800s so your partner could've been a little taller and somehow more twinkier, but you don't hate Jonah's current form. It's just a little awkward when you're mistaken for parent and child. You snap back into it as you say "of course, Mr. Bouchard. I'm terribly sorry I disobeyed you. How can I make it up to you?"
Elias grabs the back of your neck and pulls you into a deep kiss. You feel something flare in your stomach as you fall to your knees so you're not nearly bent in half trying to kiss your manlet husband. He breaks away as you grasp at his hair and gives you another sexy, evil glare.
The Archivist's irritated voice breaks through your intense eye contact as he dryly says "I don't suppose you two could take this elsewhere? We are trying to have circle time."
"Wotcher, Archivist. I would've thought you'd want to watch, what with the whole Watcher thing and all," you say snarkily.
Elias gasps and crashes into you for another rough kiss. You can feel him smiling against your lips as he murmurs a quiet "I love you" and pulls you down to the floor with him. You whisper the same sentiment as you close your eyes and let Elias open all of his to properly Behold you.