Archive of Our Own ^beta

There was a chance that it could be important. So he got out of his nest (a little dizzy if he was honest. How long had he'd been asleep?).

He finally answered.

The voice that came through was not what he was expecting.

"Hi, Brother-In-Law."

"Heyyy..." He didn't know what to say next. The call had caught him unguarded.

He started to fiddle with his blanket and thinking which awkward silence was worst: in person or by phone. So he decided that whatever it was, he was not going to prolong this one. "So you've heard?"

"I've heard... what?" She said with a hint of a smile in her tone.

"Beth." He answered with frustration.

She retorted as quick as he did. "Keeevin."

"So I guess you called to give me a piece of your mind."

"I called to see how you were doing. So now that I've said that... How are you doing?" She said in a familiar rush that made her so Beth.

"Seriously?" He asked.

"Goodness gracious, why are Pearson men experts in giving me headaches? Yes, Kevin, seriously. How you've been?"

He scooched over and sat in the corner of the bed and stared at the ceiling.

Right now, that was a loaded question. He had been all over the place, actually. 'How he's been?' Could he give an honest answer to that question? But Beth's voice brought him back to reality. "Kev, you there?"

"Yeah, yeah, sorry. Kinda spaced out. I've been... I've been better to say the least."

"You don't say..." He heard the amusement on her voice. "Listen, Kev, I just want you to know that I don't want it to be like this if-"

"Hey, I get it. He's your husband."

"First of all, I am my own person. Okay?"

He laughed. "Okay."

"Good. Now that we have that covered... Whatever happened between you guys is between you guys and only you guys gotta handle it. Have I made myself clear?"

"Crystal."

"Good. So how are you really doing?" Beth said punctuating every word.

He knew now where this was going.

"Beth, I know you know. Pleaseee, don't make me say it."

The guilty laughter gave her away.

"Please, please, say it. I've been dying to hear you say this for AGES." If he knew her better, he would even say she was giddy. And he did know her, so he knew she was exactly like that. "And we're almost forty, man! It's been a damn long time coming!"

He shook his head while he smiled a little.

"Fine. Beth Pearson... You're gonna be an aunt again...."

There it was. The shriek he was waiting for.

"... of twins."

As soon as it started, stopped.

"Wait, what?" The confusion in Beth's voice was comical.

Now he laughed because he found his sister-in-law's bewilderment hilarious.

"That's right, there's not one, but two Pearsons coming to the world." The weight of his words made him sober up as fast as he could again. But there's the thing about jokes, sometimes they keep on coming, even when you don't want to. "Coming soon, to a hospital near you, September 2020." He added in a loud voice.

"Well, maybe not near you, I haven't talked to Madison about that yet but you get the-"

"Oh, shit, Kev."

"Oh, shit, Kev, indeed." He gave a half-assed smile.

He waited for more but nothing came. Now this silence had gone for too long.

"Beth, you there?"

"Of course, I'm here, Kevin Pearson! You've just told me you're having twins. You're going from no baby to two babies in no time. Give a girl a break for a sec, ok?" Kevin wondered if Beth had breathe for the last two minutes and a half.

"Ok, ok." He counted up to ten. "If you need to know more, they're fraternal twins." Now his smile was getting bigger.

She gave a long elated sigh.

"Oh, Keeev. I'm so happy for you- wait, we're happy about this?" She asked confused.

"We're really happy about this." He kept on smiling.

"That's amazing, Kevin. I can't believe I'm gonna be an auntie again... And of TWINS..." If big smiles could fit through the phone, he would be at the receiving end of a Beth Pearson one right now. "And I can't believe your babies' mama is Madison though but if you're okay with it..."

She was rambling now.

He and Beth kept talking whilst he played a guessing game of who had told Beth (his bet was on Toby). And how Kate was taking the whole thing. They talked too a little bit about the girls and even Uncle Nicky came into their conversation. Not a mention of Rebecca or the "other thing" was ever spoken in that while.

When they were about to say goodbye, he asked what he'd been dreading (and wanting) to ask since the call had started. "Hey, Beth."

She hummed.

"How is he?"

He heard her exhale.

"He's been better." She repeated his earlier words with intention.

"Does he know... About the babies?" He tried not to sound too hopeful.

"Well, he doesn't know about two babies, I'll tell you that, 'cause that, my friend, it's a humdinger!"

In silence, he thanked Beth. She kept the conversation kind of light-hearted given the loaded question.

"But he does know about the whole thing with Madison. I'm sorry, Kev." And by her tone it was a thing that they already had discussed. And had gone nowhere.

He put up on a more joyful tone that he was feeling. And with an impressive fastness said his goodbyes to his sister-in-law.

Kevin looked back to his bed. His pillow fort was ready to be occupied again.

A couple of hours turned out to be a day.

It wasn't all the time he needed to recover, but it was a start.

It's a text that he got one night that grounded him a bit.

"Girl, are you crazy? Now it's when I'm gonna need you the most. Besides you were the first to steal my heart."

 

 

He sealed his message with a heart emoji.

He received a Zendaya sticker in response, blowing a kiss. So he guessed that was all the reassurance he was ever gonna need from his first niece that all was going to be fine.

It's been a while since he's seen Toby, but Kevin's sure he's looked better. It's also been a while because he may or may not been avoiding Kate as much as he can. So when Kate's had a gig that she couldn't get out of and with Mom and Miguel already in St. Louis... The moment that Toby had a work emergency the most available manny for Jack, of course, it's Kevin.

"Hey, listen, Kev, I really appreciate this." His brother-in-law said while he picked toys from an array of different objects from the floor.

His house would one hundred percent look like this in a year's time. It would be worse, multiplied by two. He tried not to panic. "Yeah, sure, man. No problem at all."

"Besides, you are going to need the practice, right?" Said Toby a little out of breath trying to speed up his pace of tidying the place a bit before leaving.

Kevin followed him into the kitchen. "Toby, about that..."

Toby's expression widened. "Well, you know... Everybody needs practice, right?" He opened the fridge. And with a not so subtle distraction, started naming the different types of food that Jack could have. Food that Kevin already knew because it wasn't the first time taking care of Jack. "Makes you a better uncle, of course."

Kevin looked at him with a serious expression. "I know you know, Toby."

Toby started to laugh with a nervous rythym. "Phew! Thank God. I was telling Miggy I couldn't keep this a secret for long, and less to you with that handsome face that makes one tell you the truth every time..." His brother-in-law started to babble.

"Miggy?" Kevin wondered out loud.

"Yeah, Miguel "Miggy" Rivas! The one and only. We were talking about the babies and how cute they're going to be the other day on T.O.B.T...."

Miguel, of course. Mom.

Kevin couldn't help to repeat again what Toby had said, "T.O.B.T.?"

Toby stopped for a minute his walk out of the kitchen to say goodbye to Jack.

"Yeah, T.O.B.T.... The Other Big Three WhatsApp group... Wait," he started to doubt himself. "I don't know if you should know about that..."

Kevin's head started to hurt.

"Toby, Toby, stop, I don't care how you know..." Even if it was the truth, he was curious though. "I'm just glad you know, too." He looked at his sister's family with fondness.

"I'm glad, too, Kev." Toby answered, kissing Jack goodbye in his playpen. "You're already a great dude, Kev, and you're gonna be and even greater dad."

Kevin couldn't help but smile. "You think so?"

From the door, Toby added "when you're making big decisions that are right for you, you feel it in your bones. That's how we felt about Jack. And I can see when a big decision has been made, a good one. Made by a good father already."

"Thanks, Tobe. It really means a lot to me..." He got closer to the door.

"Sure, big guy. I love these deep talks with you. They fuel my soul. And it's been a while since we've had one..." Toby's eyes were almost cartoonish when his phone beeped. "But I gotta run. Now. Bye, talk to you meaningfully and much deeply later. Love you, Kev! Thanks again." He yelled to the street while he was by his car.

Kevin said a weak goodbye from the door where he could see Jack in his playpen and Toby driving away.

It had been a while since he had a talk like this with Toby. Wasn't that time the last time, besides this time with his kids (his kids!) that he had felt a good decision right in his bones? Yeah, it had been a while...

"Young Jack, prepare to leave, because we're going out." Kevin gave directions to his nephew.

He had a ring to buy. And a fiancé to win.

A thousand of things went through his head every day.

It took him at least two weeks to notice that a drink it's not one of them.

They get to see the twins on ultrasounds. And by the second appointment to the OBGYN they go to, it's when they make their first big decision as parents.

It's a strange notion, but they both want to know the sex of their babies. Together, they've had enough surprises to last them a lifetime.

They laughed and cried at the same time when Dr. Mason told them they were having one of each.

(Whichever combination of twins they would end up having would have been fine. Now, more than before, that they knew they were both healthy. But any confirmation that they indeed were having babies made it all extremely real.)

Nicky called him early on a Sunday in June.

Kevin doesn't know if he himself was still asleep or conscious enough to waking up. He tried to answer without waking the blonde in his bed.

"Happy Father's Day", he heard the raspy voice of his uncle say.

"Whaaaat?" He managed to laugh. He doesn't know if this it's one of those weird dreams he's been having lately.

"Haven't you been annoyingly calling the past two months yapping about having twins?" Uncle Nicky managed to say in one breath.

"Yeah", Kevin laughed. "But they're not even born yet."

Yet.

"The moment you found out about them you became a father. The tricky part is to become a Dad. So Happy Father's Day." His own father's brother pointed out.

Kevin smiled without even realizing it.

"Yeah, yeah... Thank you, Uncle Nicky."

"You're gonna be a good Dad, Kev." And with that final and poignant statement Nicky hung up.

Happy Father's Day indeed to him.

It's the middle of one night when he can't sleep, where he made a mental note to call his mom first thing in the morning.

So he took a cup of tea at two in the morning, and a couple of laps in his living room to not wake up his fiancé (his fiancé, did he really had a fiancé?). And at last, finally exhausted, he returned to the bedroom and finally fell asleep. Still wondering how to build their father's dream house at the hill up the cabin. And also wondering how to ask his siblings' permission for it.

And most importantly, permission to make that dream house into his home.

It's suddenly the end of August, the thirty first to be exact, and it's their birthday.

Their 40th birthday.

Forty.

The Big Three were finally middle aged.

Where the hell had time gone? He even sounded old.

Forty.

And finally with a fiancé and kids (plural!) on the way.

It kind of seemed like an improbable thing. Nothing to be sure of. Him a father. A future husband.

Forty was bringing big changes for them. New kids for him and Kate... And Randall... Well, Randall always paved their way.

Forty.

And they are, for the first time in a while, not together.

They decided to pack it up and head up to celebrate to the cabin. There were people missing, a lot of them to be honest. All important, but their situation was what it was and Mom knew when not to push it. So she went of the sudden to buy them a gift in town as soon as they arrived.

With his fiancé asleep in the bedroom and Miguel alone in the kitchen, he sat by the window in the cabin's living room.

So it's not a surprise that Kate ended up sitting next to him at one point. And without a warning, Kevin found himself alone with his sister for the first time since the twins news.

He'd been avoiding her.

Being his twin's twin for now 40 years should've prepared him for a Kate Pearson's ambush. He should've seen it coming, but in hindsight, he hadn't been in his A-game lately.

"Hey, you!" Kate tried to smile at him with ease while she sat next to him. "I haven't seen you in a while! Can you believe it? We're 40! We're like middle-aged people."

He winced.

"Middle-aged make us sound..." He tried to grasp the word.

"Old?" Kate tried to supply with glee.

"Yeah, old!" He sounded hurt. "Kate, we're 40 and I'm the oldest brother. So I'm even older! I'm supposed to know everything and guide you guys always and look where I am."

Kate snorted with a loud laughter.

"Kev, you're like two minutes older than me... And mayyybe a couple of hours older than Randall. So chill."

He chuckled. But it did not reach his eyes.

"Being 40 sucks." He managed to get out.

"So far, it does." His sister agreed.

"I'm sure Dad handled 40 like nobody's business."

"We were 4 when Dad turned 40, so I don't know that much about that. Big Three's frustrating fours? Good luck, Dad."

Kevin reclined on the sofa and looked through the window. "He would have been 76 today."

Kate acknowledged his sentiment with a raspy throat.

"We've been living without him more that we had him." He mused.

They both were teary now.

"Every time we come here I can feel Dad with me everywhere I go..."

Kate gave him a watery smile. "Why do you think I got married here?"

He understood. That's why he wanted to build his home, his family's home right where he felt the safest.

"Dad said one time... That you, Randall and me were the only ones that would remember everything when he and Mom were gone..."

He started to wipe his tears and thought he saw Kate do the same thing.

"And you know what, Kate? He was right. And once again I didn't listen. He was right... With Mom like this..." His throat felt on fire.

"... Sometimes when I couldn't sleep, when were like 8 or something... Randall used to read me to sleep..."

Kevin sensed his sister's eyes on him but he kept going.

"You wouldn't know that well because you had your own room but sharing a room with me meant that if I couldn't sleep, nobody could sleep..."

Kate laughed. "I've lived with you even as an adult... Believe me, I know."

He turned to his sister with tenderness.

"He would take one of those big books of his, you know? The ones that were bigger than him, remember? And we were kids, Kate, and they were so dense and he read them anyways, and I swear to God that I never heard him pass a page because I'd be asleep right before he could do it..."

By this point, Kate's laugh was contagious.

"He always tried, Kate. I kept pushing him away, and pushing him away... And I never could bother trying until it was too late and now... now I think I pushed too hard."

His twin nodded.

"For what I've heard... You both said ugly things, Kev. It's wasn't only you, you know?"

"I know, I know... But to say that I don't want him as my brother? That's awful, Kate. And you know, you know I..." His voice broke.

She hugged him sideways.

"I know, hun. But I don't think that Randall knows..."

He tried to shrugged it off.

"Yeah, but I can't be the only one trying now, Kate. I've texted, called..." He sighed. "Besides, Philadelphia is like... what? Five hours away from Los Angeles by plane? And he can't come? Like that's nothing for him." He shrugged like he didn't care. But he did. A lot.

His sister stern voice made him jump.

"That's a two way street, Kevin Miles Pearson. And you know that. You both have to come to a middle ground."

"Ouch. Full name."

Kate moved her head in a no motion.

"You deserve that."

"I fear for Jack and his new sibling." He made a show of lifting his eyebrows in a comical way.

His sister responded in the only way he knew, she swatted at him by the shoulder.

"They're pretty lucky kids, Kate. And they're gonna be a they. Whatever happens, you're gonna get that baby, Sis." Kevin tapped her left leg with care.

"And this thing with Tobe? You're not gonna even remember it in like 10 years."

"I love you, Kev." The statement made him feel every bit of the emotions he was feeling. "I love you both, so much. And I can't believe we're celebrating our 40th birthday like this after our 30th when like it went."

It was his turn to snort.

"You have got to get past this. And I know it's easier said than done... But time waits for no one, Kev. And Mom's living proof of that. So don't let time get between you and Randall. No more that it has done." Kate said looking at him with a sharpness that could only come from their mother.

When she felt he wasn't going to interrupt her, she kept on going.

"The moment that Randall met Beth our relationship changed. And I thought that was wrong because I felt I was losing him, but the thing is... I gained so much more, I gained a wiser brother, a firecracker of a sister-in-law and three amazing nieces. So we've got to give things a try, right? Maybe the treatment is going to help Mom..."

She saw he was going to interrupt her and raised a finger.

"And yes, I know Randall's approach wasn't the best..."

He gave her a look.

"Ok, ok, it wasn't good at all but he's trying to help. That's Randall's thing if you haven't noticed." She added in a sweet voice. "And he doesn't know how to fail. That's his other thing. So promise me if he tries you will, too?"

He closed his eyes and nodded with his head.

"And about your other thing you think we're not discussing..."

Now he groaned.

"I was hoping you wouldn't touch that."

Kate's 'HA' resounded in the small cabin living room.

"You think I really would be mad about you having kids, Kev?"

"There was a time you thought I shouldn't be having even one." He interjected with objection.

His sister looked a little bit remorseful.

"That I can admit wasn't fair. I've learned that no one is ready to be a parent, Kev. You learn as you go, and if there's a thing I see you do these past years is that... Learn. So I think you'll do amazing."

Kevin's eyes were watering again.

"You really think so?"

"Of course, I do, you big doofus. I know it and I know you, so why I wouldn't be happy with these two little babies that come from you?"

He turned in his sit and hugged his sister with strength.

"So... We are ok?

"Yeah, we are ok."

They were in silence for almost a minute. Taking in the changes that were going through with them. It was obvious Kate couldn't take it anymore.

"It's kind of a challenge for you that the girls you go for are my best friends?"

Kate looked at him half serious, half joking. "I mean, I love Madison but this was a surprise...."

He laughed hard and everything seemed right for a couple of minutes.

Until a phone rang and everything was not right.

Chaos reigned again.

But they faced the music the same way as the concert began, just the two of them.

He doesn't let go of Madison's hand until they give him another couple of hands to hold.

Ones he will never let go for the rest of his life.

Time starts to move with a vertiginous force once you become a parent.

One minute he was rushing with Madison to the O.R. and the next he was pacing his daughter (his daughter!) slowly through Madison's hospital bedroom (who knew fingernails could be so tiny?).

Things around you also seemed to fade too when one becomes a parent.

Because he didn't remember some things being in the room when they got there. Like the two big teddy bears that were now next to Madison's bed.

"Hey, Madison?" He whispered, getting closer to her, so he would not wake his son (his son!) in his mother's arms while he tried to do the same with his princess in his (he was done for, right?).

"Yeah?" She answered in a dream state like voice at the same time she touched the outline of their boy's nose.

"Who send that?" He pointed with his head to the set of bears with big bows on their necks.

She dared to take away her eyes from their baby boy (to be named later... Much later if they kept on being set on different names) and looked at him puzzled. "I was kinda loaded but I seem to think they were there when I got here."

"They were?" He asked again with confusion.

"I don't know, Kevin. I just pushed out two babies out of my body, I don't even know what year it is. Why don't you look at the card?" Madison said at the same time she got back to the amazing task of caressing their baby number two.

They had a card?

He put his baby girl on the bed, next to her brother gently. And right into her mother's hold and went on to investigate this bearly mystery.

It turned out being a father made you also a little delusional. Because that had to be the only reason he was reading what he was reading.

The card was signed "love, Uncle R."

He didn't know if it was the lack of sleep, but in a second, of the sudden he started to feel something in his eyes.

"Kev, does it says whom are they from?"

He didn't hesitate to say it like other times in the past. "Yeah", his voice trembled with emotion. "They're from my brother."

Rebecca Pearson kept on proving she was a magician after all. (Specially when she had two new grandkids to hold in her arms).

Her most recent trick? Making St. Louis not seem so far from Los Angeles.

His Mom arrived (a bit frazzled) to the hospital four-and-half hours later after he called her. He got to announce Madison was going into labor, he recollected. Then he remembered listening to Mom shouting directions on the other side of the phone. And now with Miguel running behind her with their suitcases in tow, he can see her in "handling things" mode.

Once in front of him, she opened with 'are the babies here?' instead of 'hi'.

He also registered Mom telling a full minute explanation about how she had got here. How she made the doctors at the facility give her a leave. Because she HAD to be there for the birth of her TWINS grandkids ('did she tell you that her son was having twins? Well, not her son but...'). He felt the lingering nerves on his body leave with the presence of his mom. And that was the biggest and oldest trick in her repertoire.

Kevin gave her a big smile and an even bigger hug.

Rebecca Pearson's kind of magic didn't disappear that easily. Even when Rebecca Pearson was on the way of disappearing herself.

"The female Pearson cousins are coming!" Miguel's gleeful voice resounded on the hallway outside of Madison's room. At the same time he showed the phone in his hand as proof of his good news.

"Yeah?" Kevin answered mistfully.

"Yeah, Beth and the girls must be on their way now, they're so excited. Cousin Annie, especially..."

"Beth and the girls?"

"Yeah, we Facetimed, they were at the airport..." Miguel looked at him catching up. "Just Beth and the girls". The message was there. His stepfather gave him a couple apologetic pats in the shoulder. "Sorry, Kev."

He could only nod.

'Sorry, Kev' had apparently become the phrase of choice over the last six months.

Kids. He had kids, plural.

He had kids and his Dad wasn't there to celebrate with him. Like all the moments after his death, this was bittersweet.

For him. For them all.

Albeit, his Dad wasn't physically here, he could feel him, right by his side.

So giving a passing look to the room and finding no one in sight, he dared to say out loud "you have two new grandkids, Dad."

He touched his medallion and kept on going "I finally found my purpose..."

He closed his eyes. "Two of them, actually..." he completed laughing. "If I am just as half of the great father you were..." His voice broke. "I hope I can make you proud."

As soon as he said that, he heard a noise that brought him out of his reverie.

"I'm sure he already is."

Was he really starting to lose it? Because to him, that voice sounded like the disembodied deep voice of his brother... coming from somewhere.

Kevin was afraid to look back because he really was going to lose it.

He did the brave thing, he looked.

Maybe he wasn't so crazy after all. There, standing at the door, was his brother. Very solid and not a hallucination at all.

"Hey... Are they ok?" Randall questioned in a sotto voice still from the door.

Careful of the little patients that were occupating the room.

"Yeah, yeah, the NICU is just a precaution. Twins come early, you know..."

He slowly nodded. Cautiously he started to approach to them.

The silence was... something else.

They were then next to each other. Physically closer for the first time in six months.

"So we got your bears..."

Great. He should be saying more.

"...Thank you."

Yeah, exactly that. Way to go, Kev.

Randall coughed a little. Could Kevin be a crazy or was that Randall's nervous cough?

"Oh, good. I didn't know if you were going to get them on time. They were supposed to be delivered to your house on the babies' due date but then they were early and I wasn't sure..."

"Hey, hey, it's ok." He said reassuringly. "They might bill me another room for the space they take but I think I can send that your way, right?"

The attempt of a joke brought out a small smile out of his brother.

"Mom called and Jae-Won found me a single sit on a red-eye flight." Randall shifted uncomfortably. "Everybody was coming so..."

Kevin silently nodded. Had Mom guilt-tripped him here?

" Beth and the girls..."

Finally a connection. His sister-in-law and nieces were on their way.

"... Are coming on another flight." He smiled. "I heard."

He saw Randall bob his head. Kevin took a deep breath.

"Thank you." He croaked, his throat making it hard to speak.

He thought he saw his brother's eyes shine. And the tone he used next had a tint of excitement.

"Of course, man. I had to meet these little guys..."

He made a motion to grab his little nephew's hand. But then he stopped.

Randall looked at Kevin swiftly.

"I swear I washed my hands before I came in..."

They both laughed. Kevin nodded.

"Hey, it's Uncle time. Be my guest."

It was obvious that Randall was at loss for words. But he went ahead anyway and made contact with his brand new nephew.

The Pearson brothers stood in front of the new generation of Pearson siblings. Without saying a word for a while. Until the uncle in this equation broke out the silence they found themselves in.

"So I probably gotta go... Beth and the girls are probably arriving..." Kevin knew an outing when he saw one.

"Yeah, of course. Of course." He turned to the twins again, marvelled by how little they were. And how he hoped they would always be right by the other's side.

"So... we'll see each other right at the...' His brother began to divagate.

He looked away from his son and daughter and looked at his brother. "...At the welcome home party that Kate thinks I don't know anything about?" He smiled.

"We could never keep anything from you guys." Randall answered with a small smile. "So... see you later?" His brother began with his goodbyes again.

Kevin saw him level-eyed and only nodded. The knot in his throat was a bit much. He turned again in direction of the babies.

He thought Randall gone when he heard a faint "Hey, Kev?"

"Yeah?" He turned quickly with his voice betraying him.

"Congratulations, papa, I'm so happy for you."

Later, they would be questioned about this moment. And they would strongly deny that they each ran half of the distance to hug each other.

"I'm sorry, Randall." Kevin managed to get out with emotion. "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean that. You must know..."

His brother hugged him tighter.

"I know. I know. I'm sorry, too, man."

They knew what they had broken couldn't be fixed with a couple of "sorries" but they both knew this was a start.

After a while, they still were there. "Kev, the nurses are starting to stare."

"Let them", he answered with softness, muffled by Randall's shoulder. He had a right, he had just become a father for the first time and his brother was there with him to support him. He didn't care what people said for once in his life.

"I'll just tell them I'm hugging my brother."

His brother.

"Okay, but no more than two more minutes. Because it's starting to get weird." Randall added with a hint of a smile in his voice.

They finally weren't forced to have each other backs, they were glad to.

To fix this? It was up to them. And they were sure gonna give this a try. There were some things broken, sure. But nothing too big that couldn't be mended with the right tool... time.

"Two minutes?" Kevin chortled. "I could do this forever, little brother."