Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

It’s still a hard pill to swallow when Doyoung sees this everyday. Even when he has accepted that this will never be his, this will never be them, it doesn’t make it hurt any less every time he sees Taeyong kiss Johnny.

They exchange gentle hellos with a peck before Johnny covers Taeyong’s face with a series of soft kisses.

“See you later, Doyoung,” Taeyong waves at him.

Doyoung nods and sends them off with a small smile. The look on his face must be so obvious because the comments begin like clockwork.

“I don't get what you like about him so much,” Jaehyun says around his lollipop.

Doyoung sighs. “You wouldn't understand,” he says, watching Taeyong walk away with Johnny. A person like Jaehyun wouldn’t understand a love like this. A one-sided love. “What's with your sudden fascination in candy?”

Jaehyun grins. “You said you don't like the taste of ash in your mouth.” Then, like an absolute deviant, he pulls the candy out with pop and swoops by Doyoung’s ear. Warm air slides along the tip as he whispers, “Don’t you want to find out what it tastes like?”

It’s so easy to have this. When Jaehyun pulls back and Doyoung closes the distance, it’s so easy. Doyoung knows this is the coward’s way out. 

Mango. It tastes like mango.

But it feels good to fool himself—to kiss Jaehyun and feel like for a second, he can have someone and someone has him.

Doyoung lives a rather boring, ordinary life. From his time in a small town to the big city, this has always been his truth.

Then Jung Jaehyun walks into his life, somehow by simple coincidence, and starts a twisted game built off of a lie.

And he realizes his life has never been simple at all.

“I don’t think I can go... I’m kind of busy.” Doyoung has been avoiding Taeyong’s invitations for a while.

Taeyong pouts. It feels like a gut-punch because Doyoung knows this pout: the one where Taeyong acts playful to hide his disappointment.

“Busy with what? You already study too much. You don’t have anything else that I know about.”

He’s right. Taeyong knows him from the inside out. From how Doyoung studies until it overwhelms him (or overwhelms the surrounding people), to his rants about not falling for trends like sheep but ends up following them himself, there isn’t anything Taeyong doesn’t know, including that there aren’t any other friends Doyoung likes to keep either. It would be so easy for Taeyong to see through his lies.

“I’m just busy. I already have my afternoon planned.” 

Lie. Like yesterday, his schedule is full of chapters he doesn’t actually read and films he’ll fall asleep to.

Taeyong’s pout deepens, eyes round like a teddy bear. “Don’t you think you could get some sunlight?”

But Doyoung can’t bear it anymore. He can see Johnny moving stuff from the backseat to the trunk and frustration wells up. He can’t do this again.

Hanging out with the couple means Doyoung will sit in the backseat of Johnny’s car while the stereo croons out songs from a curated playlist of their soundtrack. He’ll have to stand behind them when they’re in line or sitting at the same table, watching Johnny flirt without filter and give Taeyong small compliments that send him flushing, making him shy and beautiful in front of Doyoung’s eyes.

Doyoung can’t sit there pretending he’s fine, pretending he hasn’t liked Taeyong longer, pretending he isn’t mad that it isn’t him.

“What sunlight? It’s not like we’re staying outside,” he mutters. 

This is his recent game-plan: if he annoys Taeyong a little bit more, if he pushes the line a bit more, maybe Taeyong will back off and let him stomp back to their apartment.

“Doyoung...” Taeyong sighs, fidgeting with his backpack strap. He glances away, rubbing at the base of his neck. This has always been his nervous habit. “I just want us to get along...”

Nausea climbs up his throat. Doyoung has always feared this kind of conversation. 

Somehow, like a heaven-sent, that is when he comes along.

“Hey, did you wait long?”

Doyoung turns to the voice and coming to a stop in front of him is Jung Jaehyun. 

It’s only Doyoung’s second time seeing him, the famous visual of the medical department. Looking just as handsome as the first time Doyoung saw him, Jaehyun smiles and lies so confidently.

“I already have a surprise planned for my,” and as if it isn’t baffling enough, Jaehyun tacks onto the lie, “—boyfriend.”

“Boyfriend?” Taeyong’s eyes snap to him, pupils expanding even more on Taeyong’s small face. He squeaks in confusion, “Doyoung?”

“Uhm...”

“Not yet,” Jaehyun’s smile widens into a cheshire grin, “but hopefully soon.”

Taeyong is baffled. “Is this why you kept sneaking away? Because you were on dates with Jaehyun?”

“It’s actually our first date,” Jaehyun pops the syllables out joyfully. “I think we were taking too long to get to know each other.” His eyes smile at Doyoung with devilish ease, clearly enjoying the ruse.

Doyoung’s brain hasn’t caught up to the improvisation. Boyfriend? Dates?

Johnny bounds up to them, “We should get going now or else—oh hey, Jaehyun. You going home?”

Doyoung’s eyes flicker between the three, slowly coming to the realization that he’s the odd one out. Fuck, as if Doyoung isn’t busy enough trying to weasel out of being a third-wheel, complications keep piling up. But he has always been stubborn, so he clenches his jaw shut and his freak-out minimum.

“We’re going on a date,” Doyoung lies through his teeth.

Johnny’s eyes dart between the two of them with confusion, then clarity. “Ohhh. Already, Jaehyun?”

Whatever Johnny meant, it must be funny because Jaehyun chuckles at it.

“You guys know each other?” Doyoung asks.

They both nod. 

“We’re friends from high school,” Jaehyun says. 

Johnny laughs and punches the air in front of Jaehyun’s chest, “We’re best buddies! What are you talking about, man. I’m hurt.”

“I can’t believe you kept this from me, Doyoung,” Taeyong says, quietly agape at Jaehyun before he focuses on Doyoung again. “It’s Gongmyung! Your favorite actor! Why don’t we go together, hm? Double date?” His eyes round out, practically sparkling.

Doyoung angles his eyes intentionally, hoping Jaehyun can see him begging. Please don’t. Please don’t. Please.

Ever the team player, Jaehyun declines. “Nope. Doyoung can see the movie on another day ‘cause I already got the evening planned.”

Johnny shrugs and just looks at Taeyong who is not happy with the situation. 

“Fine,” Taeyong gives as he stomps to the car, “but this conversation isn’t over.” He narrows his eyes at the two of them, standing innocently in the parking lot.

As Doyoung watches the car finally reverse out, he lets out a heavy sigh. From beside him, a ‘yikes’ sounds out.

When Doyoung turns, Jaehyun is clicking his tongue. The furrow in Doyoung’s brows deepen as he says, “You know, when I said I was your boyfriend the first time we met, that was just pretend for one time.”

“So you do remember me,” Jaehyun says, eyes lighting up. “Well, I thought I’d return the favor. It seemed like you were pretty eager to be anywhere else.”

Doyoung frowns. “How did you know?”

Jaehyun is relatively the same height as him, so their eyes meet easily, but it doesn’t feel like they’re on equal ground at all. When Jaehyun looks at him, there’s a pervasive glint to it. Doyoung feels stared down, transparent.

His dimples pull into a cheeky grin. “I have keen eyes. I saw you from over there,” Jaehyun points behind him to the vast campus arbitrarily. “I could see the way you looked at them, Taeyong and Johnny.”

Jaehyun’s tone is light and preppy, but it makes Doyoung nervous. Is he so obvious that a person could see his crush on Taeyong with one glance? 

He throws back, “Don’t tell me that Johnny also has a set of keen eyes.”

To his bemusement, Jaehyun shrugs. It’s insufferable and that’s when Doyoung gets the idea that Jaehyun is a little shit who enjoys riling people up.

Doyoung huffs and rolls his eyes. “You looked so helpless before. I should’ve known you would be just a cocky guy with a pretty face.”

Jaehyun beams under the insult, taking it in strides. 

Doyoung ignores him entirely, choosing to shuffle through his backpack. He groans when he realizes his bus card isn’t in its usual spot, muttering rapidly, “I don’t have my T-money card. God, do I even have enough change?”

“I could just give you a lift.” Jaehyun raises his arm and with a click, there’s a beep sounding out somewhere in the parking lot.

“Oh,” Doyoung says.

He doesn’t believe it until he sees it but as his shoes drag across the parking lot, following behind Jaehyun in an embarrassed shuffle, they end up standing next to a very nice BMW. 

“You have a car?” he asks without thinking. 

Doyoung remembers Jaehyun saying he was high school friends with Johnny, and he’s seen Johnny shop up and down Apgujeong Rodeo Drive like it was second nature. It wouldn’t be a surprise if Jaehyun grew up in the same affluent neighborhood as him. College students around the area didn’t really need a car unless they, or their parents, spent money like petty change. 

“Of course, you have a car,” he nods, accepting the disparity between them instantly.

It isn’t until Doyoung is already in the car, buckled in, and overcome by the leather upholstery and shiny expensive dust-free interiors, that Doyoung realizes something as Jaehyun heads steadily downtown. “Uh, I didn’t tell you where I live.”

Jaehyun chuckles in the driver’s seat. “Didn’t I say that I have something planned?”

Well, now that’s not ominous or anything? His hand unconsciously nears the door handle.

Jaehyun takes one look at his frozen expression and chuckles. “You would get run over if you jumped out now. Calm down. It’s nowhere dangerous. Where are you in a hurry to go anyways? You look like the type to hole yourself in the library and study your problems away.”

Low, unintelligible curses erupt from Doyoung’s mouth as he sulks, wrapping his arms around himself and burying into the seat even more. Jaehyun isn’t wrong. Doyoung probably would be moping away, staring blankly at his textbook or sniffing at a sad movie by now.

“Don’t you want to have a little fun?” Jaehyun asks, “Don’t you think it’s unfair that Taeyong is out there, cuddling up in a comfy theatre loveseat with Johnny, while you’re sulking at home?”

“What do you know?” Doyoung scowls. He hates that Jaehyun is right—Jaehyun who hasn’t known him for ten minutes, is spilling out Doyoung’s ugliest secret so easily. 

Jaehyun turns into a parking lot before Doyoung can think of another insult.

It turns out that the thing Jaehyun had planned was going to a dog cafe. Jaehyun struck him a happy, dumb look, asking never been? as if he didn’t already know Doyoung’s answer. A few minutes later, they’re both seated with two drinks between them. Doyoung didn’t really want to order anything, but when they came into the front counter and the staff turned from Jaehyun to him and asked and you? he just plucked out a drink from the menu without thinking.

Doyoung feels out of his depth, sitting there limply, while Jaehyun has successfully blended in with the dogs. He’s very enthusiastic with them, cooing at them, ruffling their furs and giving belly rubs. He looks like he’s in his element.

“You come here a lot?”

Jaehyun rises from his bent position, leaning back in his chair again and grins at Doyoung’s unintentional pick-up line.

“Shut up,” Doyoung tells him while flushing a light pink.

“I found this place last week,” Jaehyun says, letting a dog hop off his legs and run back to the playpen. He leans onto the table, musing, “I like to pet the dogs and destress. You’re in the medicine department too, right? That makes you my senior.” Jaehyun's head bobs in delight. “You're.. pharmaceutical chemistry? If I remember correctly.”

What the hell? Since when did he become such a noticeable presence amongst the department where even people like Jung Jaehyun knew his major? That is a problem. Between their melting drinks, Doyoung thinks this is very strange. How did he get into this situation? 

“I appreciate what you did back there, but this,” Doyoung waves to their surroundings, “isn’t necessary. We could’ve just gone our separate ways.”

The lines between Jaehyun’s brows wrinkle and his lips slant down like he doesn’t understand. “I didn’t mean to offend...” he treads carefully. “I just wanted to get to know you better.” Like a scene straight out of a movie, he leans back into the chair and exhales roughly while brushing a hand through his hair, but the whole thing comes off unbearably effortless.

It’s then that Doyoung realizes Jaehyun is sort of... attractive. Well, that’s an understatement. He’s very aware that Jaehyun is the classic handsome face you’d see on television or a shopping mall model. That much is obvious from their first meeting and how the female staff behind the counter were eyeing Jaehyun as he ordered.

But it’s the first time that Doyoung finds himself attracted to Jaehyun. If he likes Taeyong, Doyoung undoubtedly has a high standard for faces, and Jaehyun has a very enviable one, that along with other admirable attributes. From his weirdly shiny dyed hair to his unblemished skin beyond believability, to the cherry on top, goofy round cheeks that transform into charming dimples when he smiles—it’s the kind of face that’s pure and boyish—right up Doyoung’s alley. Not to mention, he’s tall and well-proportioned. It’s kind of unnerving how handsome he is and now he’s just... here.

Doyoung crosses his arms, narrowing his eyes. “Why are you so interested in me? We saw each other, like, once.”

Doyoung could understand if they met in a course or at work, but in a too-good-to-believe situation, Jaehyun dropped right in front of him and now wants to get to know him? He can’t help but feel suspicious.

Jaehyun chuckles a bit defensively. “I don’t think I left that much of a bad impression the first time,” he jokes. “Don’t you ever hang out with people? Just treat it as if we’re friends getting to know each other.”

“No.”

This shocks Jaehyun into silence. “Wow,” he sputters, “I mean at least gi—”

“No, I don’t hang out with people,” Doyoung corrects. It’s embarrassing to say outloud but Doyoung doesn’t mingle with other people much. He likes sticking to things he knows, to people he trusts. And he doesn’t know or trust Jaehyun. “I’m usually at home, school, work, or with Taeyong.”

Jaehyun’s eyes slide down him as if he’s searching for something. Unnerving. Why the hell is Jaehyun looking at him like that?

Jaehyun hums. “So it’s just you and him, huh. How long have you known him?”

“Since our last year of middle school. We knew each other for a year and even decided to enroll into the same high school together,” Doyoung says, basically boasting.

He’s not one to brag but jealousy rammed its irrational head and commanded him to put up a front before Johnny’s friend. Here’s why I’m better, he wanted to show. 

“How long have you known Johnny?” he bounces the question back.

“Just since high school. We have the same group of friends too,” Jaehyun shrugs, lackadaisical, “but Johnny and I are closer than the others I guess.”

Doyoung adjusts in his seat, leaning forward as if it would help him hear the secrets between Jaehyun’s words. “So you must know his bad points and good points.”

Jaehyun smirks. “Why do you want to know? Planning a way to break them up? Sorry to disappoint though, Johnny doesn’t have such bad points.”

Doyoung huffs. “What kind of person doesn’t have bad points,” he retorts.

“Johnny doesn’t,” Jaehyun snaps back. “He’s always been that kind of guy. That easy-going guy. Even when he’s mad, he’s calm and collected. He knows how to befriend people easily and make them feel comfortable. I’m sure you’ve noticed.”

Oh, he’s noticed. Why else would Taeyong give Johnny a chance and end up dating him for so long? It isn’t like just anyone can get past Taeyong’s barriers. Any usual guy Taeyong dated would’ve had his edges worn down and fatigued. But Johnny is nice and patient. His patience has made a place in Taeyong’s heart.

Doyoung is silent as he stares at the melting foam in his drink. 

The words that should put him at ease just make him more upset. Why couldn’t Johnny just be a worse person? Then maybe Doyoung could hate him, blame him, and feel less helpless.

“Hyung—if I can call you that, it’s no use,” Jaehyun says brazenly honest. “Johnny likes Taeyong and from the way I see it, Taeyong really likes Johnny too. Everything I’ve seen so far tells me that they complement each other’s faults and will go for a long-term relationship.”

“I know,” Doyoung says, just above a whisper. “I just thought...”

“You thought it would be you—after all these years.”

Without saying anything, Jaehyun already knows. Doyoung doesn’t respond, but Jaehyun knows he’s right from the defeated look overtaking Doyoung’s eyes.

It’s Doyoung who has been by Taeyong all these years. He’s made it this far. Through the boyfriends that thought Taeyong was pretty and showered him with gentle words, only to mistreat him once they saw he was too sensitive, too quiet, too burdensome to love. Through Doyoung’s try at dating once or twice that always soured too quickly. It is still Doyoung and Taeyong that lasted to this day.

He’s been waiting for so long, all this time, hoping that Taeyong would look at him, choose him. If it just ends like this... if Doyoung’s love just ends like this...

He doesn’t want to give up so hopelessly.

As Doyoung sits in his thoughts, Jaehyun spends that time sipping his coffee, memorizing Doyoung’s expressions.

That night, Doyoung mindlessly scrolls through the channels on the TV despite knowing that there’s nothing on and he doesn’t like perusing through TV programs in the first place.

“So—Jaehyun. You like him?” Taeyong asks over his cup of tea by the kitchen table.

Doyoung makes an indiscernible noise that he hopes will pass off as sure.

Taeyong mimics the noise curiously. “Really? You haven’t dated anyone since we entered college. Ever since, uh, Jinyoung..” Taeyong catches himself and coughs over the blunder, “so I was surprised when Jaehyun came up today. Quite the catch, Doyoung.”

“Is he?” Doyoung asks airily.

Taeyong snorts, probably snarkily thinking that only Doyoung wouldn’t care to know about Jaehyun’s reputation.

Maybe it was the wrong thing to say. Jaehyun is definitely quite the catch. He’s popular. There’s no doubt about it. If rumors of his charming dimples have traveled all the way to Doyoung’s side of the department, then obviously his name is in a big portion of the population’s list of desirables.

But all that’s useless if he’s not the person Doyoung is interested in.

“Then how was your first date today?” Taeyong asks.

His thumb on the channel button hesitates. Doyoung gives a certain hum that means okay.

“So not good?”

“It was fine,” Doyoung says while beginning to scroll through the channels again.

“Is that...good?”

Doyoung holds back the desire to sigh. He'd rather if Taeyong didn't ask him about it, because it’s all he’s been thinking about since the moment Jaehyun metaphorically splashed in his face with cold water about how his devoted longing will never be fruitful.

Thankfully, even Taeyong has never been able to pry out information Doyoung never wanted to share. They were similar in that way—closed off with the suffering until they couldn’t bear it anymore. Taeyong’s just always been easier to read, while Doyoung was more stubborn than him. After years of hearing his parents fight, he’s perfected his poker face.

“It wasn’t bad. He’s... interesting.”

“Oh,” Taeyong mumbles into his cup. It seems more a thoughtful oh rather than a ’that’s too bad’ oh. Then, he adds a little too cheerily, “Jaehyun doesn’t seem to be your type anyway. He’s a little argumentative.”

He’s wrong, Doyoung thinks. You’re argumentative. We argue a lot too. You’re my type.

“Are you going to see him again?”

“Maybe,” Doyoung says quietly.

“Oh,” Taeyong quietly says again. This time a little more final.

And that’s that because Doyoung turns off the TV, remote thrown onto the coffee table with a clang, and heads to his room with a short I’m going to bed now, goodnight.

To anyone else, how they met would be summed up as a coincidence, but not for Doyoung. For Doyoung, it felt like a little more; two paths converging like a spark.

Taeyong was a loner simply because he looked different. He seemed like a sculptor’s creation when he sat in class, still and blank, with his earbuds in. Others chatted and giggled, but Taeyong was deaf to the world. He liked being immersed in quiet and sticking to the little things.

They’re similar in this way. It’s why they stuck together. They had a mutual understanding about loneliness.

The day they met felt a little magical.

As a lanky teen with too much anger, a lot of his time was spent messing around in the streets, never going home. After hagwon, he would stick to the bookstore and internet cafes until they kicked him out. He was too young to still be there at night, they said. It was in his last year of middle school. Doyoung was close to throwing a tantrum on the sidewalk when he met Taeyong on the streets, coming out from the arcade.

The ground was still wet from the rain earlier.

He remembers in shocking detail the look on Taeyong’s face as they both stopped in front of each other, backpacks hanging off their shoulders, uniforms ruffled—their mutual shock and confusion at seeing each other when all the other good little students in the area would have been home for dinner and not lingering outside. 

Doyoung said that he didn’t want to go home.

Taeyong’s eyes sparkled, grinning excitedly as he asked the question that changed everything.

“Do you want to come to my house?”

And the Doyoung that didn’t know anything about family or best friends or first love—gained all three that day.

Are you that happy that I’m dating again?

Doyoung lets out a heavy sigh, letting his phone clatter on the table.

It must’ve been unordinary because Sicheng’s head peeks over, pausing to see what was up. Doyoung was usually quiet in the lab and they worked in relative peace. 

He gives Sicheng a weak smile to signal that everything’s fine.

Sicheng’s head disappears and he returns to hunching over his paperwork.

Doyoung stares at his phone blankly again. Then again, he has never felt threatened by any of Taeyong’s boyfriends. He would always stay quiet, pointing out the times where they were pushing Taeyong to his limits. They never lasted more than two months.

But Johnny has never done that. He has the patience of a saint. Sometimes, he’s even better than Doyoung and just lets Taeyong carry out his spells of fussing or cleaning or long hour sketching sessions. That’s how Doyoung knows he’s different. That’s how he knows Johnny will be by Taeyong for a long time.

The back of his head itches. Eyes are piercing at him from everywhere.

Is that him—Kim Doyoung? Pharmacy, right?

No way, he doesn’t look the type Jaehyun likes.

I mean, I think he’s kind of handsome.

But his face is so long. He’s not pretty enough.

If he’s in pharmacy, he must be smart though. What do you think his background is?

Hey, he’s sitting with Taeyong, the prettiest one from the design department. I heard the two are already going out though.

Huh? Doesn’t he already have a boyfriend? That tall guy. Who was it... a film major...

Doyoung huffs, letting his fork clatter into his tray. He makes a point to glare at the group walking past them. Another group of two girls and a guy whip their heads away when Doyoung catches them and they hurry along.

Taeyong fidgets in his seat. “Maybe we should move tables.”

Doyoung sucks air through his teeth. He’d rather stay put. Why should he move? But it’s Taeyong he worries about, getting roped into his rumors. Everywhere they go, Taeyong gets stared at. Such is the blessing and demise of having a beautiful face amongst a vain society. Doyoung does his best so Taeyong is protected.

“Do you want to?” he asks softly.

Taeyong shakes his head, fiddling with his food. “It’s alright. I’m just worried about you.”

“What do I have to fear? Let them talk.”

But as he says this, Taeyong’s eyes wander around them. Some people huddle into their tables and whisper. Others who are just walking past make small comments. There hasn’t been this much attention since Taeyong’s relationship status got marked off the market.

It feels like they’ve been transported back to their high school cafeteria. On random days, someone would take a liking to Taeyong, someone else would get jealous of that, and their class chatroom had 200+ reactions to how Taeyong reacted, how it was Taeyong’s fault, how it wasn’t Taeyong’s fault, how he was leaving the classroom and going to the cafeteria now—and all the kids would stare when they sat down at a table for lunch. And on every single one of those days, he felt anger simmer under his facade of indifference. Many more of those days, he wanted to jump out of his skin and just slip back into the safety of his bed.

Sicheng appears next to their table. “Hyung,” he greets and turns to nod at Taeyong.

Taeyong acknowledges him in the same manner. Their exchanges are still a bit awkward because Taeyong would usually see Sicheng when he visited Doyoung at the research lab.

“There’s a lot of chatter today...” Sicheng turns to see some tables glancing at them.

“Isn’t there always?” Doyoung jokes. He picks up his backpack, shuffling through it before passing Sicheng a stack of paper. “Here you go.”

“Thank you,” Sicheng says politely and takes the paper but stands there for another beat, eyes surveying the others. “They should mind their own business.”

Doyoung smiles kindly at him.

Sicheng has always been a little soft spoken. The first day he joined their lab, he had a straight face and spoke directly, but his manners were always strict yet gentle. Doyoung thought he was cute. He has a boyish charm that makes people want to protect him. He is also a very hard worker, staying at the lab as often as Doyoung does. 

“I don’t mind them,” Doyoung says. “Thanks though. Tell me again if you need something printed out.”

Sicheng nods and after a goodbye bow, he walks away while whipping out his phone, furiously typing away.

Doyoung thought that would be enough interaction in one bustling lunch, but he is proven wrong very soon. A short while after Sicheng leaves, Kyunghee, a member of one of his group labs, comes by with her friend.

“Doyoung! I heard the rumors!” She plants her hands on the table, giddy and excited, “Are you really going out with Jung Jaehyun?”

Doyoung bites back the burst of irritation throbbing in his head. By instinct, his eyes snap to Taeyong instead.

Taeyong has completely abandoned the food on his plate, staring at Doyoung in distraught. He looks torn between jumping from his seat while simultaneously wanting to bury himself under the table. Doyoung can see the berating words struggling to burst from his lips, little tremors on his chin he holds back from yelling at Kyunghee. Taeyong has long been conditioned to think that speaking up is worse than not.

Doyoung doesn’t blame him.

“Why are you guys so interested in who I’m dating?” From behind, Jaehyun comes up to the table, lulling their area into silence. He looks a little worn down, like he rushed here in a hurry.

“Uh, we’re just curious.” Kyunghee’s friend nods.

Jaehyun frowns. “Gossiping is a bad habit. Other’s personal lives shouldn’t be your entertainment,” he scolds the group of girls who look back and forth between Jaehyun and Doyoung like he's scolding one of his younger friends.

The girls’ jaws snap shut, and they give nervous smiles before quickly shuffling off. Kyunghee doesn’t even give her usual irritatingly preppy bye! as she leaves.

When Jaehyun looks at the surrounding tables, some people have their phones still clutched in their hands. He jokes with a slight deadpan, “If you keep staring so hard, your eyes might fall out.”

Some of them laugh nervously under the veiled threat, embarrassed from being caught and turn away back to their phones. Doyoung can see others pulling up chats, obviously to tell their friends what Jaehyun just did in the south cafeteria. They all act so brave when they're talking behind other people's backs but when confronted, they're just cowards who huddle back into their shells, back under the shield of a screen and anonymity.

“Sorry about that.”

“It’s fine,” Doyoung says. “Did you..” he glances at Jaehyun’s messy hair, “run here?”

Jaehyun’s dimples stretch in a shy grin. “Sicheng texted that some people were making you uncomfortable. I didn’t run. I was on the way.”

It feels like a lie and Doyoung is sure of it when Jaehyun’s ears redden considerably.

“I have to go now,” he says, “to a group study. If anybody bothers you again, just call me. I’ll figure it out.” And just as fast as he came, Jaehyun is dashing off again.

Doyoung doesn’t realize he dazed off watching Jaehyun leave until Taeyong is calling his name, clanging his fork onto the tray. Taeyong’s lips are tightened back like he’s unsatisfied, fork twisted in a death grip.

“Let’s not eat here next time.” Taeyong’s eyes are dark.

“Okay.”

The action bothers Doyoung more than he thought it would. Rather than grateful or awed, he feels more... dumbstruck.

He remembers all the times he had accidentally spilled juice or soup or his whole tray into another student’s uniform, one that had been relentlessly talking behind Taeyong’s back in the cafeteria.

Doyoung never had anyone protect him. He stuck up for himself just fine.

There were little ways Taeyong protected him too like keeping him company when his parents were fighting, when he wanted to watch movies rather than play basketball like the others, when he would zone out of natural survival instincts because of his studies.

But Jaehyun was able to do something that even Taeyong hadn’t accomplished in the years that they’ve known each other. Doyoung didn’t think he needed protecting. But.. being protected felt good.

Maybe he was wrong.

Taeyong and Doyoung share in making a nice dinner, a special one they went to the grocery together for. It’s pasta night. They stuff their bellies and sit on the couch, watching a melodrama with a blanket over their laps.

“She’s a bitch who doesn’t care about anyone else but herself!” Taeyong yells at the television.

“Hear, hear,” Doyoung raises his fist to that.

The female lead throws the money on the table and the mistress just smirks.

“I do admire her tenacity though. I’d just take the money and leave the asshole. What a scheme that would be.” Doyoung scoffs as the mistress renounces the wife. “Love is blind.”

“Doyoung,” Taeyong gasps and slaps Doyoung in the chest lightheartedly, “don’t side with the evil.”

Doyoung snorts as the ending song booms with a still frame of the female lead trembling in anger. “I’m not siding with her, I’m just realistic. You’re too much a romantic. You always want a dramatic happy melodrama with a happy ending. I’m saying all humans are selfish. She definitely would’ve taken that money and shit on the guy in real life.”

Taeyong pouts and rambles about why a melodramatic happy ending is needed while the credits and sponsors start rolling out. Doyoung takes the time to stretch his limbs after a nice relaxing evening. Like it’s such a natural transition, Taeyong starts with that topic again.

“So on Friday..”

Doyoung nods at Taeyong’s words, head rolling back with emptiness.

“...I was wondering if you wanted to go to the amusement park with Johnny and me.”

Doyoung freezes. His limbs are stiff with tension, and not the kind he gets from sitting on the sofa for so long. “Aren’t amusement parks usually where couples go for dates?” He laughs, trying to mask his nervousness. “I don’t really want to be a third-wheel.”

“We can invite Jaehyun! It’ll be like a date for all of us.”

Well, then Doyoung definitely doesn’t want to go. Isn’t having lunch occasionally enough? Do they have to do everything together just because Johnny and Jaehyun are best friends and Johnny is dating Taeyong?

“Since when do you like amusement parks?” Doyoung asks, “I thought you said it’s dirty, crowded, and you’re afraid of heights anyways.”

Taeyong purses his lips. He folds his legs in and says quietly, “I thought I wanted to try new things.”

It hurts when Doyoung swallows and all he feels is his dry throat.

Right. New things. “With Johnny,” Doyoung says. “You’re trying new things because Johnny asked you to the amusement park.”

He means to phrase it more like a question, but it doesn’t come out that way at all.

Taeyong takes a while to nod. “He said that lots of couples go on dates to amusement parks. And well, it’s true. You know I always refused when Jaehwan or Chanwoo asked. I thought it might be romantic..”

The dazed, rosy hue on Taeyong’s cheeks is what really throws him off. Doyoung doesn’t frown, but his expression isn’t anything happy. He can’t look at Taeyong right now, so he faces the flashing screen again with his stiff limbs.

“Doyoung?” Taeyong calls when he doesn’t respond. “I thought...” he struggles with his words, winding up his courage, “I wanted you and Johnny to get along better. I thought we were doing better.”

We. A noun that once meant Doyoung and Taeyong is now we including Johnny.

“There’s nothing to fix,” Doyoung says. He turns to Taeyong and smiles and genuinely tries to mean it. He already knows Johnny is different from the rest of them. “Even if you’re over your fear of rollercoasters, it doesn’t mean I am though,” he jokes just to lighten the mood.

Taeyong gives a weak smile. He’s trying so hard and it’s been weeks. How much longer?

“How about...” Doyoung racks his brain before he suggests, “that get together with Johnny and Jaehyun’s friends. Let’s do that instead.”

“Great! I’ll tell him now.”

Taeyong’s blooming joy is worth it, Doyoung says to himself as he watches Taeyong punch into his phone screen. He says it’s worth it but the sinking feeling in his stomach says otherwise.

He can feel them growing different. He can feel them growing apart.

The day of the get together comes by too fast. 

Doyoung hasn’t tried to befriend people for a long time, so he isn’t used to the feeling anymore. He’s nervous, but he promised Taeyong so he has no choice. Doyoung will just have to put on his big boy pants and go to the get-together, knowing it’s going to be a slow, torturous night.

The place is a trendy bar around the campus area and it’s a full house. It’s lit by ambient amber hanging lights and many, many antique tables and chairs. Johnny spots them and immediately raises his long-limbed arm, sticking out wherever he goes. Taeyong is bounding over with a glowing smile, more or less dragging Doyoung by the arm. There’s clamber as the guys make space around the table for them, dragging chairs into wherever and some calling over drinks.

Before they reach them, Doyoung makes out Johnny leaning beside him, speaking to a man with brown hair in a ponytail. There’s more squabbling around the table back and forth until the two random empty seats on opposite ends are occupied by several people scooting over so that there are two empty seats between Johnny and the long haired man.

Taeyong greets Johnny with a murmured “thanks for getting us the seats, babe” and Doyoung averts his eyes when Taeyong’s eyes flutter at Johnny’s kiss to his forehead. He focuses on the odd roundness of the corners of the long table. He’s been squished to one of the corners.

“Oh,” Doyoung says once he realizes who’s on his other side. “Your hair has grown out.”

Yuta grins wide, friendly all at once like he doesn’t know about Doyoung’s history. “Yeah, you like? I wanted to try something new.”

He remembers Yuta as one of the athletic, popular international students. He was loud and he was always in Doyoung’s background. The hair on Doyoung’s arms prickle. Taeyong never told him about this. Why didn't Taeyong tell him beforehand?

“Hey.”

Perched half in the chair and the other leg standing, Jaehyun smirks just one seat from him. He was so caught up in Yuta being here, he didn’t see Jaehyun hidden at the very end of the table.

Before even Jaehyun could make some sort of smug remark, he was beat by Yuta in between them.

“I wouldn’t have guessed it was you! I thought it might have been another Doyoung!” Yuta has a satisfied glower on his lips as he shouts over the other chatter and karaoke in the background. “So you’re the one who caught Woojae’s interest. Everyone’s been talking about you, you know? But it’s hard to widdle anything out of Jaehyun’s mysterious lips.”

“Woojae?”

“Our Jaehyun,” from the side, someone else teases. 

Oh, not this.

Doyoung recognizes Ten from Taeyong’s department and from the short interactions where Doyoung was waiting for Taeyong, he has come to know that Ten says annoying things just to be a menace.

“It’s like a high school reunion here,” Yuta says joyfully and reaches over Doyoung to tap on Taeyong’s shoulder. “The three of us.”

Taeyong’s smile is calm when he nods at the sentiment. It seems like Taeyong doesn’t have any problems with Yuta, so Doyoung lowers his guard down significantly more.

“I didn’t know you were attending university in Korea.”

“I wanted to make my adventure last,” Yuta says wistfully.

Adventure, he calls it. Doyoung wonders how different their lives must have been if Yuta’s high school experience was an adventure. Even after all he saw, Yuta’s grin looks like he only kept happy memories.

“Do all of you,” Doyoung slowly pans through the many faces at the table, growing increasingly uneasy at each adorning a certain grin that said they knew something he didn’t, “know each other from high school?”

There’s a couple of chuckles and Johnny says, “More or less. Some of us are just tag-alongs from different departments and roommates. But we all ended up together here anyway.”

The rest of the night follows in a similar fashion, in a blur and full of wild back and forth conversations Doyoung can’t keep up with. Doyoung nurses his drink, clasped in a loose grip. It’s not that he has a low tolerance, it’s just that he doesn’t want to get drunk today. Something in the atmosphere tells him that he shouldn’t attempt to let loose.

When it seems there’s an opening in between conversations, Yuta dives in at the opportunity—literally, he leans into the table so much so that Doyoung can feel the shifty table dip under the weight.

“So I hear you and Jaehyun have gone on a couple of dates already.” There’s a shit-eating grin on his face that begs Doyoung to TELL ALL.

“Uhm.” Doyoung gives a shy smile and hopes he doesn’t have to answer.

But Sungchan asks with gleaming eyes, “What’s the status, you guys?” He’s already swaying with red cheeks, and Doyoung thinks he’s probably shit-talking buzzed.

While Doyoung tries to hide behind his hand, Jaehyun practically has his chest puffed as he lays his eyes solely on Doyoung. “I don’t know,” Jaehyun says, “but I’m hoping for an upgrade to boyfriends.”

Jungwoo knocks his knuckles rapidly on the table. “What’s his answer?” he asks cheekily.

Doyoung thought Jungwoo was nice when he shyly introduced himself, but he sees now that he likes messing around like the rest of them. He itches to tell them all to shut up. He doesn’t want to pull himself into a bigger lie with Taeyong right next to him.

“Don’t get your hopes up,” Doyoung rolls his eyes.

“Oh,” Jaehyun hums with a still arrogant expression. It’s not disappointment at all.

He places both his elbows on the table and the table shifts again. Doyoung can feel almost as if he’s sliding along with the table towards him. Even with Yuta being squished between them in the corner, Jaehyun’s splayed hand is so close to his loose fist.

Doyoung can feel the buzzing in his blood as Jaehyun’s eyes fix on him. Despite not sitting beneath the light, Doyoung feels terribly hot.

“We’ve already gotten so close though, Doie hyung. I thought we had something,” he feigns a pout.

Several tables look over their shoulders when the cheering erupts from their table. God, if only Doyoung could staple Jaehyun’s mouth shut. This is exciting! shouts someone that Doyoung can’t mind because he’s so intensely fixing a painful smile at Jaehyun’s face. The latter just relaxes back into his chair as if his job was done.

Yuta almost blows his ear out by shouting, “I didn’t know Jaehyun was your type, Doyoung! Jaehyun is chased by almost every girl that walks by him. Even boys marvel at his face and his body.” He makes a show of touching Jaehyun’s biceps and Mark bends over in laughter. “But he’s never been interested in anyone. He’s so tight-lipped,” Yuta pouts.

“Tell us,” Ten joins in. “Is he a good kisser?”

Doyoung makes a choking noise as Johnny hoots and ooohs and a couple of the guys follow, Mark’s laugh booming the loudest. There’s several we want to know and yeah, come on, Doyoung. 

The arm that Taeyong has rubbing on his is something he keenly feels now more than ever, even as Taeyong leans most of his weight against Johnny. His skin is scorching and his heart is beating in his ears so loudly.

Jaehyun sits with a wide grin, deep dimples like he’s won the biggest prize ever. “Yeah, tell us, hyung. Am I a good kisser?”

What an asshole. He clearly knows other than dinners and the times they study together, nothing has happened.

Doyoung hates the goading smile on Jaehyun’s face is as if he’s just waiting for Doyoung to mess up. “Fuck off, Jung,” he throws back with a smile and a couple peanuts at Jaehyun’s direction.

The table explodes in laughter like it’s the funniest thing ever.

“Wow, someone’s standing up to you, Jaehyun!”

“You’ve been dumped!”

“Our poor Jaehyunnie!”

“He’s met his match, finally!”

“Wow,” a loud voice across from him starts. “Hyung,” Sungchan asks in an awed voice, “has anyone ever told you that you look like a bunny when you laugh?”

He feels his own shoulders tense before he can control his fading expression. There’s a gnawing feeling in his ribs as he recalls the word “bunny” along with others—buck-tooth, jack-rabbit. He hasn’t felt this breathless in a long time.

There’s a stutter in the chatter when Yuta isn’t shouting, but Taeyong is the one everyone notices as his entire body freezes. Several of them slow down their conversations to observe. Johnny must have said something to them, to mind themselves maybe. He can feel the tightening of Taeyong’s thigh pressed against his. It feels so out of place, the three of them.

“Xuxi don’t say that,” Yuta scolds. His face is void of playfulness and that’s when the air at the table gets icy.

In the bar, other people chat wildly but an air of awkwardness hovers around them, cutting their place away from the bar. It’s alienating. Stiff faces greet them as the group look at them, wondering if something was wrong. Their eyes travel to Yuta instead of Doyoung and Taeyong.

With fast thinking, Kun smacks Sungchan over the head. “The boy doesn’t know how to control his mouth sometimes. He means well.” He smiles good-naturedly at Doyoung.

Someone clears their throat and then Jaehyun is saying, “We say Sungchan is like Clifford, the big red dog all the time too. Don’t take him so seriously.”

They are all nodding, but Ten, ever eager to be the odd one out, slurs out with lazy pronunciation, “But why...?”

“Ten,” Jaehyun warns, low and serious.

Simultaneously, several things happen.

Sicheng quirks his brows up to the others at the table as if he’s saying check this out. Ten is less subtle and comments a very audible wow. The more sensible ones wear various degrees of alarm in their eyes at each other. Mark is blinking uneasily, eyes shifting from one end to the other.

Doyoung takes deep breaths in, maintaining a facade of calmness he always seems to regress back into.

From the corner of his eye, he can see that Taeyong is still loosely half-frozen in his seat, clutching at the edge of the table. But also, he stares at Jaehyun intensely with a look Doyoung can’t decipher.

Sungchan scrambles and mumbles words of apology so fast Doyoung worries the boy might get whiplash from how he’s bending his neck back and forth so fast. Doyoung has to say it’s okay, even though he’s still reeling from it all.

After several of the older boys throw peanuts at him, Sungchan settles and pouts into his Jungwoo's shoulder. Jungwoo chuckles and smooths the boy’s blonde hair. The table livens up again.

Yuta turns to him again, head tilted downward like he’s trying to talk intimately with him with a lower tone. “Sorry—”

“It’s fine,” Doyoung cuts him off before he can say anymore. He doesn’t want to disturb the atmosphere, fearful of bringing up this uncomfortable feeling again.

Yuta frowns, saying more lightly now, “Jaehyun isn’t the type to talk back to the older guys, even if it’s Ten and he toes the line a lot. He knows Ten’s just joking so... he must really like you if he was so serious just now.”

Something about that confession unsettles Doyoung. It’s not like Jaehyun doesn’t know he likes Taeyong. Perhaps they’re all wrong and Jaehyun was simply being considerate to someone that’s new to the group. From what he’s seen, Jaehyun likes to push but he’s one to know where to draw the line.

But Doyoung never gets to dispute it because the table erupts again when their food gets brought to the table. Conversations cut off into different places. Sicheng briefly says something about being squished at the table, inciting a fury of hugs, and insults Sungchan for his clingy knobby hands. But Yuta just laughs like he’s enjoying Sicheng being pestered.

Slowly, Doyoung realizes how many couples there are at the table and unconsciously glances at Taeyong. The bottles in front of him have been emptied and the boy looks about ready to sink into sleep in Johnny’s arms. He looks so comfortable there, unworried and safe from the world.

Without knowing, Doyoung’s lips have been pulled into a frown. It’s something that doesn’t escape Jaehyun’s attention.

When their third hour at the bar comes to an end, the group exits and they all argue over the bill. Yuta pulls at Jaehyun to whisper something to him and then, Doyoung and Jaehyun somehow end up in the corner, inhaling the cold air from outside.

“Sorry about that earlier,” Jaehyun says.

“What? Oh, the bunny comment?” Doyoung shrugs, hands stuffed in his denim jacket. He can see Yuta glancing back at them as they straggle out of the bar. “It’s just an old sore spot. I’m used to it. The kids at school used to say a bunch of stuff that weren't true about me and Taeyong so it doesn’t matter too much anymore.”

The answer must not suffice because the wrinkles between Jaehyun’s brows deepen. “That’s not okay.”

“Oh, it’s fine. I’m more bothered about the fact that your friends all think we’re dating. You kept goading them on too!”

That brings a chuckle to Jaehyun’s lips. “Don’t think I don’t know that’s what Taeyong still thinks too. You haven’t told him anything clearly either.”

Doyoung is about to retort when Johnny brings out a clingy, drunk Taeyong. His best friend never really had the best alcohol tolerance. Especially over three hours of drinking, he must come out a mess. Johnny smiles kindly at him while Taeyong is whining, clinging onto Johnny’s clothes, hanging all over him.

“I wanna go with you, Jyani!” he pouts while repeating that phrase over and over again. “Doie, tell him!”

“Sorry, Doyoung. Do you mind?”

You’re his boyfriend. Why are you asking me? But Johnny tends to do this—apologize to him every time he takes up Taeyong’s time. It only makes him more bitter.

With a weak wave, he nods. “Go ahead. Take care of him.”

Even though I know you will anyway.

In the end, Doyoung has to watch Taeyong walk away with someone else again. Taeyong’s back is towards him again.

Next to him, he hears Jaehyun laugh. “What’s so funny?” Doyoung asks, a bit peeved.

“It just reminds me of the first time we met,” Jaehyun says with a soft smile.

Doyoung is confused. What does that mean? But he scoffs anyways. “That’s so kind of you. I’m glad someone is happy from seeing my miserable love.”

Jaehyun stares. “Nevermind,” he shakes his head, “You really don’t have eyes for anyone but Taeyong.”

This makes Doyoung’s nose scrunch up. Even though it’s true, does Jaehyun have to sound so mean about it?

Jaehyun just raises his arm again and says, “So should I take you home or...” the headlights on his car flashes, “do you want to come to mine?”

Several cars pass them in the time that Jaehyun’s words sink into Doyoung’s brain. The answer should be no. The answer should be no but... all that flickers in his head is the image of Taeyong getting into the car with Johnny. Taeyong’s content smile as Johnny buckled him in and how he has only seen the back of Taeyong’s head for so long.

Doyoung has never felt alone since Taeyong came along. He doesn’t want to be alone tonight.

“Yours.”

Doyoung’s head is muddled through the car ride. Even though he tried not to, from the whole ride to Jaehyun’s apartment, he fiddled with the windows and kept silent.

Jaehyun definitely does not have money on his mind because he lives in a two story loft, although nothing luxurious, it’s definitely nothing like Taeyong’s and his shared apartment.

As soon as he’s toeing off his shoes, Jaehyun shows Doyoung the bedroom upstairs and says, “You must be tired,” even pulling out some set of clothes for Doyoung to change into.

Doyoung thinks that’s slightly weird as he’s changing. But maybe that’s just how Jaehyun likes to do things before sex. He puts on the thin shirt—the fabric is really soft—but he leaves out the pants Jaehyun gave him. Since they’ll be taken off anyway.

After Jaehyun comes out from the bathroom, the lights go off and he’s slipping in beside Doyoung in bed. That is definitely strange. In the upstairs loft, the only source of light is the moon shining through the giant window walls from the living room. Maybe Jaehyun likes it with the lights off.

Doyoung can only overthink. It has been such a long time since he’s been close to another person like this. It’s only natural that he’s slightly stiff as he cozies up into Jaehyun’s chest. He can feel the warmth of Jaehyun’s hands as they hold him at the waist. 

Jaehyun doesn’t move.

In the back of his mind, he thinks maybe.. he might have gotten the wrong idea.

But Doyoung has a goal tonight. He isn’t going to stop.

He nuzzles in closer, sliding a leg in between Jaehyun’s. Something about the feeling of his bare legs against the soft fabric of Jaehyun’s pants is strangely sensual. When his hands brush up against Jaehyun’s stomach, he can feel Jaehyun’s abdomen flex under the slight touch. He’s so affected by the little things.

The temperature under the blankets only increases.

“Doyoung..” Jaehyun’s hands squeeze at his waist. It sounds like a warning.

But Jaehyun’s gritty voice only spurs him on more. Doyoung noses down Jaehyun’s neck. Warm puffs of air travel across Jaehyun’s skin. When he mouths at Jaehyun’s adam’s apple, Jaehyun shivers under his palms. Doyoung latches onto the skin, sucking with intention to bruise.

“Doyoung,” Jaehyun groans.

Suddenly, Doyoung is flipped over with Jaehyun pinning him down with his legs.

“What are you doing?” Jaehyun puffs out.

“I thought this is what you invited me over for.” He brings his hips up as if to persuade Jaehyun again. Their hips meet and—ah. 

Jaehyun is hard.

Doyoung couldn’t see too clearly before, but now Jaehyun is so close and the light from the windows reflect onto his face perfectly. The entirety of his ears are red. He’s clearly embarrassed that his body reacted so quickly.

“You didn’t even want Taeyong to think you liked me,” Jaehyun says. “What’s with the sudden change?”

Doyoung wants to sink into the mattress. So what if he changes his mind? Isn’t Jaehyun riled up already, but still.. like this, no one wants him.

“You’re the one who asked me to come here,” he blurts out. “You. You acted like you wanted me but you’re just like everyone else. What? Just because I like Taeyong, I’m not desirable anymore? It’s just sex.”

He sounds like a child who’s throwing a tantrum. He hates it. He hates himself right now.

Jaehyun gets really quiet, just staring.

Doyoung wonders what expression he must be making for Jaehyun to look at him like that.

“I want you,” Jaeyhun says softly. “I’ve wanted you since the first time I saw you.”

“You...” Doyoung’s eyes widen. “But I like Taeyong.”

“I know.”

But... Doyoung thinks of both his ex-boyfriends. They were appalled and angry the moment they realized exactly what was wrong with Doyoung. Why he never gave his heart completely to them. He was called a lot of harsh words: cheater, slut, two-timer, attention whore.

“No one wants to be anyone’s second,” he says, voice small.

“You said it yourself. It’s just sex,” Jaehyun says and he lowers his hips down. He’s not embarrassed at all that he’s tenting into his pants and rubbing down on Doyoung’s erection.

It sure does the job because Doyoung can feel lust stirring in his stomach.

Doyoung hesitates. “Are you sure?”

“Hyung,” Jaehyun says and it amazes him how blown out Jaehyun’s pupils are, “you’re the one who’s blushing. Are you sure?”

Other people don’t get close to him. Doyoung always looked reserved, as if he was latched with an invisible chain to Taeyong wherever they were.

“I just want to be held.”

And like he completely understands, that’s exactly what Jaehyun does.

Doyoung ends up sweating through the shirt Jaehyun gave him as they clutch to each other under the sheets. Jaehyun pins him down to the bed with his muscles and they rut together like two desperate teenage boys. Jaehyun keeps him still with both arms wrapped around his body and their legs tangled together, sliding roughly up and down as they try to get as much friction as possible through their clothes.

It might not be much out of everything they could do, but it’s enough for Doyoung. It's enough because he gets to feel like he's wanted. When Jaehyun locks him in his arms and licks down his neck, Doyoung feels desired. And he hasn't felt like that in a long time.

In the end, Doyoung’s boxers are a complete mess with come smeared all over the front. It looks like Jaehyun’s was the same when he peeled them off and left them on the floor with an ugly splat.

Doyoung gets back to their shared apartment late in the morning but early enough. 

Taeyong gasps when he sees the hickeys littering Doyoung’s collarbone. He thinks Doyoung and Jaehyun are totally official from that day on.

Doyoung realizes much later that Jaehyun has a bit of a nipping problem.

“Is it for your boyfriend?” asks the girls who are running the booth outside the field.

The other girls surrounding them giggle and peak at them from the sides. They all hold several bouquets of flowers as well and banners for those they are cheering on in the stands.

Doyoung just smiles at the girls as he pays.

At the school festival, there are different activities for different departments and this year, there’s a face-off between the design department and the medicine department.

The sport in challenge is soccer.

Of course, there’s a lot of athletic students in both departments but what was the problem is that Taeyong was in one team and Jaehyun was in the other. When Doyoung slips into the seats by Jaehyun’s friends, they both are holding different banners.

When the medicine department team makes a goal, they cheer. Ten makes a spectacle to boo instead and urges Johnny to do the same. Johnny just laughs and pushes at him. When the design department team scores a goal, Johnny is the first one out of his seat to holler. It does put a smile on his face.

Doyoung is not really into sports nor is Taeyong, but Taeyong was really adamant in taking part in representing his department. He wanted to be involved so of course, Doyoung was going to go and support him.

No matter who cheers the loudest, the medicine department wins anyway. All the team members rally to cheer before the crowd stands to leave or flood the field. The group joins the celebrations and the bouquet Doyoung brought gets promptly shoved under Taeyong’s nose.

“Doyoung!” He giggles with sweat dripping down his temples. 

Doyoung is reminded of how heartbreakingly beautiful his best friend is. That speaks for itself when Taeyong walks across the field and all around him, eyes turns to watch him. Even with sweat matting his bangs, he’s a specimen of desire whereas others would be avoided like a wet dog.

“But I didn’t win?” Taeyong says confused but grasps the bouquet with welcoming hands.

“I know. But I got it for you anyway.”

It’s true. Doyoung went to the flower booth with the only intention of giving it to Taeyong, no matter what the result would be.

Taeyong smiles so wide and turns to Johnny, showing off the flowers. “Babe, look! I got flowers from a medicine student. I think Doyoung should change majors. He might be a traitor now.”

Doyoung silently revels in it. Taeyong is smiling because of him. He’s interrupted out of it by Yuta, who scored a majority of the goals for the medicine department, whining very loudly.

“Doyoung, that’s cheating! You’re in our department and,” he pushes Jaehyun to the front of their gathering friends, “not only did your boyfriend win but hello? Look at all the work I put in? Where are my—our flowers?”

Doyoung’s smiling at him but his eyes would stab Yuta if possible. “Sicheng is the same major as me. You should’ve asked your boyfriend to get you some.”

Sicheng just shrugs with a teasing grin.

Ten, also eager to fan the flames, adds on, “But Doyoung, just look at Jaehyunnie! He’s gonna grow jealous.”

Doyoung just looks at Jaehyun, who bows his head to passing members and nods in acknowledgement of the girls standing close by, waving their banners with his name on it. The tell-tale embarrassed smile makes its way onto his face which only makes the girls squeal.

Doyoung rolls his eyes. There’s plenty of people supporting him.

Jaehyun takes the towel Kun handed him and throws it over his shoulders. With a soft tone, he says to Ten, “No, I’m not. That’s not my style.”

His friends all ooh like they do every time Jaehyun says something sweet about Doyoung.

Jaehyun doesn’t tell them to knock it off and lets them make a fool of themselves. He stands next to Doyoung, but his stare is on the pair of best friends as if they have their own impenetrable world. It keeps Jaehyun at a distance that’s more than physical.

They have rules. They are unsaid but Jaehyun understands the lines that he shouldn’t cross. 

Don’t intrude in Doyoung and Taeyong’s relationship.

Jaehyun understands. He has to because that’s his role in this.

“Thanks, Doyoung,” Taeyong says a bit shyly, “for giving me these.”

“Of course, you’re my best friend.”

There’s a short second where Taeyong glances at Jaehyun with a limp expression, but then his smile returns to Doyoung brighter than before.

Doyoung doesn’t miss this. In fact, it encourages him. It tells him that Taeyong still cares.

For anyone else in a relationship, this may have bothered them at least a bit. But for Doyoung, in every relationship he’s been in, Doyoung has put Taeyong first before any boyfriend, so it shouldn’t surprise Taeyong that he does the same this time as well. Other people would prioritize their partner over their best friend. Doyoung doesn’t.

But well, Doyoung and Taeyong have always been different.

If there had been doubt in Taeyong’s mind, seeing how Doyoung acted today should tell him that everything is still well. Such a small gesture like gifting flowers makes Taeyong immensely happy, Doyoung thinks.

Outside of their world, Jaehyun watches.

The way Taeyong glanced at him gets tucked into the back of Jaehyun’s mind. And if there’s something indistinguishable in Jaehyun’s gaze, it gets dashed away by the people coming along to cheer in their ears.

There are rules, but Jaehyun seems to make himself an exception in Doyoung’s life.

One by one, each rule begins to be crossed off.

That’s how Jaehyun ended up in their apartment, face buried into Doyoung’s neck, snickering up a storm. 

Until Taeyong got too unnerved from his usual place by the dining room table and nervously laughed his way across the living room. “You guys have fun. I think I’m gonna go to Johnny’s now.”

That resulted in Jaehyun receiving a beating all over his sculpted body.

Don’t intrude in Doyoung and Taeyong’s relationship.

A rule Jaehyun makes a habit of breaking regularly, placing himself into their home and their best-friend lunches all the time now.

“This is all your fault! He’s probably at Johnny’s right now.”

“Ouch, stop!” Jaehyun blocks him by bringing his knees up as Doyoung sits criss-crossed. His arrogant grin is back as he rests his long limbs all over Doyoung’s couch. “Oh, stop sulking. Doesn’t that make you feel good? Seeing Taeyong so bothered by us that he has to walk away?”

Doyoung rolls his eyes. “It’s not for the same reasons I do it.” 

Not that it doesn’t make him feel a bit better. It does feel like he gained some justice today.

Jaehyun reaches over and presses down on Doyoung’s chin with his thumb. “You’re putting in so much heart for someone who doesn’t have you in his heart at all.”

Doyoung slaps his hand away, giving him a fierce scowl. “How would you know what’s in Taeyong’s heart?”

Sometimes, there’s a part of Jaehyun that can also be a little mean.

Rather than describing it like that, Doyoung thinks they’re similar in this part of their personality. Just like how Doyoung likes presenting the facts despite the fact that it might hurt someone, Jaehyun is honest about Taeyong to the point of being brash.

It’s this—and the fact that Doyoung can see how his eyes turn darker when Jaehyun touches him and mentions Taeyong. Almost as if he takes joy in snatching a toy from someone.

Within a second, Jaehyun flips them over and hovers over Doyoung.

Of all things to say, he chooses, “And do you know what Taeyong’s doing with Johnny right now?” Both his arms come up to bracket either side of Doyoung’s head. “He’s probably touching Taeyong in places you can’t even imagine,” his knee slowly slides up Doyoung’s from thigh to crotch, “while you cry at home waiting for him to come back.”

“You’re such a jerk, Jung Jaehyun,” he sneers as his thighs come up to wrap around Jaehyun’s waist.

Jaehyun muffles a laugh into Doyoung’s neck, nosing down it and ghosting the skin with his lips. “That doesn’t make it untrue.”

“Just get me off, asshole.”

Another chuckle into his collarbone. “Sure thing, your highness.”

If there’s another thing that makes Jaehyun an exception to any of the others Doyoung’s been with, it's his ability to pleasure Doyoung. It’s like he just knows when Doyoung likes something.

Like how Doyoung likes when Jaehyun drags his nail down the skin of his head and he likes it not too wet, a little rough. When Jaehyun’s teeth scrape a bit along his length, he doesn’t mind. Doyoung hisses, “be careful,” but it drifts into a moan halfway.

“Bossy,” Jaehyun mumbles, mouth full of cock, then pops off to suck a harsh bruise into his hip, “my type,” before rising on his knees. 

The heat must be too much because Jaehyun strips his shirt off before unbuttoning and pushing the front of his pants down enough so that he doesn’t have to undress. Doyoung is feeling the same as he sweats in his clothes. Jaehyun takes both of their cocks in his hand—his just as angry red and leaking as Doyoung’s is and the sight is just too much when he fists the slippery heads together.

Doyoung immediately gets lost in the feeling of pleasure, head rolling back and an arm thrown over his face. It’s dirty and hot.

Doyoung cries out when Jaehyun slips his nail into the slit. He hears Jaehyun curse a deep and quiet fuck among all the slippery sounds, and it sends heat flushing to his gut. Embarrassing. He’s pretty sure he just sputtered a bit of precome out just from hearing Jaehyun’s voice.

His vision is flooded with light again when Jaehyun pushes his arm out of his face.

“Hey, Doie,” Jaehyun says in his raspy voice, smirking down at him, “do you think Taeyong knows what we’re doing on his couch?”

“Stop,” he whines, even as his hips thrust up uncontrollably.

And as if knowing just what to do, Jaehyun tightens his grip and drags his fist over them at an increasingly rough pace. Both of their hips relentlessly chase the feeling, colliding together, twisting from side to side to get just the right angle. Cum leaks from Jaehyun’s fist, spilling down his wrist. Stars burst in front of him and Doyoung can feel his stomach getting splattered with something hot and disgustingly wet.

All of Doyoung’s limbs just give up after that. He fixes his gaze on Jaehyun’s chest heaving up and down, abdomen flexing as he takes deep breaths in and out. Damn Jaehyun for being so attractive. Doyoung’s attention drifts off to thinking about how much of Jaehyun’s schedule is probably blocked off at the gym.

That’s when Jaehyun leans over him with a proud expression. His face takes up his entire perspective and it’s close enough to kiss—but they don’t.

“Good luck getting our spunk out of your couch,” he says.

Jaehyun’s laugh booms across the living room as Doyoung’s blush reaches up to his ears.

Dickhead.

God, he’ll never be able to sit or even look at Taeyong on this couch again.

Despite his twisted game with Doyoung, Jaehyun is everything people say about him. Gentlemanly and generous. They have an arrangement and Doyoung knows Jaehyun’s remarks about Taeyong are just part of their twisted game and it works that way.

Jaehyun asked him out of the blue, hesitant and serious, “You don’t mind, do you? All the things I say about Taeyong?” Jaehyun’s eyes were gleaming and pure, “If it makes it hurt more, I can stop.”

Doyoung stared at him before laughing. He often forgot that Jaehyun was the little brother of his group and he grew up loved and treasured. His upbringing was not in the least like Doyoung’s. Everyone that Jaehyun meets loves him, so it’s natural he throws out comments like that unrestrained. He reads people well enough to know the line.

“No, I don’t mind. It’s better that way,” Doyoung said with a bitter smile.

That way Doyoung is always reminded of what exactly they are. Doyoung stays on one side and Jaehyun stays on the other.

They say that girls date bad boys for a reason. That seeing them be mean to others but treat them nice only makes those moments more precious. Doyoung thinks he understands that a bit. Maybe he likes it when Jaehyun can be a little mean even though he has the heart to say no.

He can be reminded that Jaehyun isn’t here to be his boyfriend. He’s the distraction. Johnny’s best friend. The reminder that Taeyong is the vine around his heart that won’t let go.