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thirty-three days of mist and mountains

Summary:

Tobio runs by himself every day. Even though he can't shake off that awful feeling that something's closing in on him, he still does it. It's habit now.

When he gets a phone call that Hinata Shouyou is thinking of coming to Italy, Tobio feels like he has to run even faster.

(Or: Tobio has a month to prepare himself before his high school rival comes to visit him. They haven't spoken to each other for two years, and Tobio can't even remember what food Hinata likes. He's got a lot to think about.)

Notes:

thank you so much to ainu and colin for their amazing art for this fic!!!

Additional note (07/27/20):
this was written and posted before chapter 402 and the light novel came out; the fic (sort of) remained canon-compliant until chapter 398 and diverged from there.

---
Original note (06/21/20):

it took a village to make this fic. mrda should be given the purple heart for saving me from death by embarrassment due to all the setting inconsistencies, grammar errors, and my atrocious spelling, and astra and s deserve to be awarded the medal of honor for running through this at the last minute despite their busy lives. thanks so much to a for audiencing this from inception to editing, and to v and kk for barraging me with funny italian videos from fourteen years ago to keep me sane.

this fic shamelessly handwaves the coronavirus pandemic; the tokyo summer olympics was held in 2020. you can hover your cursor over the dialogues in italian to get the english translation. for those on mobile, you can click on the hyperlink. but most of them should be clear from context.

song choice: distance by christina perri
this fic's spotify playlist can be found here.

hope you'll all enjoy!

(See the end of the work for more notes and other works inspired by this one.)

Chapter 1: Mist

Chapter Text

 

~O~

Your absence has gone through me
Like thread through a needle.
Everything I do is stitched with its color.

― W.S. Merwin, Separation

~O~

 

April 12, 2022
Trento, Trentino-Alto Adige
Spring

 

Day 1; 29 Days Remaining

...

 

At the incline, Tobio doesn't slow down. He increases his speed, bounding for that empty wooden bench stationed at the top of the hill. The wind picks up at that moment, whizzing against his ears. It makes him run even faster.

He exhales swiftly when he gets to the top. The bench is right next to him now, but he doesn't sit. He jogs in place instead.

Beyond the steel railings encasing the hillside trail, residential homes file in staggered rows at the outsloped tread. They look almost like the newer houses in Sendai, except for the numerous chimneys and the colorful wooden window shutters. He stares at them, unseeing.

His phone vibrates in the pocket of his windbreaker. Tobio takes it out.

The name on the caller ID makes him pause. He's already had three missed calls from this person. He presses accept.

"Finally!" the man at the other end of the line exalts. "Man. I almost thought you were screening my calls."

"Why would you think that?" Tobio says, before frowning. "Why are you calling, Hinata?"

"Nothing special, really. Ahh! You know, you sound really different now."

"What?"

"You have an accent." There's a hint of a smile in Hinata's voice, and Tobio frowns. "Where are you staying in Italy again?"

"Trento."

"Oh! Is that in the North or South? Are you somewhere near, uh, Verona?"

Tobio scrunches his eyebrows. "I don't know," he says. "I think I'm in the North. Go look it up."

Hinata laughs. "Yeah, yeah. I will after this. Just gotta make sure you're still alive and kickin' at this point."

Why would you think I wasn't? Tobio wonders. "Why are you asking about Italy?"

"Ahh, I'm going to be there next month! I just booked a flight to see Natsu. She's in Rome studying dead languages—what? Isn't that the perfect description for your major?—sorry, Natsu and I are video chatting—and she wants to take me to see the North. Milan and Verona, right, Natsu? No? What—oh, she says we're going to Milan and Venice. So if it's close to your place, then I can drop by and see you too!"

Natsu? "Isn't she your younger sister?" Tobio double-checks.

Hinata huffs out a surprised laugh. "Yeah, she is. You guys have met before. Have you forgotten?"

Tobio did, but at least he guessed right. "Oh." He needs to sit down for a while. "You're coming to see me?"

"Yeah! If you want to."

"It's fine," Tobio says. He picks at the lint on his leggings. "When—?"

"Ohh! Natsu says you're pretty close! And she knows the place well! I can come by then! What did you say again?"

"I was going to ask when you'll be coming."

"Hmm... wait, lemme talk to Natsu for a sec."

"Okay." Hinata doesn't hang up, so Tobio stays on the line. He listens as Hinata and his sister talk over each other in quick succession, like they're battling for control of the conversation. It's hard to follow what they're talking about especially with the static, so Tobio listens to the tone of Hinata's voice instead.

There's a pair of pigeons roosting on the clay roof tiles of one of the houses. Tobio watches them clean each other's feathers until he hears Hinata speak to him again.

"May 12th!" Hinata announces. He then laughs. "It's exactly a month from now. What do you know?"

"Alright." Tobio checks his phone calendar. He doesn't have a game that day. That's good. "How long will you and your sister be staying?"

"Oh, Natsu says she isn't staying with us. She wants to see her friend who lives in Trento too. So it's just gonna be me seeing you. Will a day or two be okay? I know you're busy."

Tobio stills. "Just you?"

"Yeah."

Tobio licks his lips before standing up. "That's fine," he says. "Just tell me where I should pick you up."

"Gotcha! I'll message you." Hinata chuckles suddenly. "Oh, man, Natsu's asking if you have a girlfriend or something. I think she wants to set you up with that friend of hers."

"I don't date," Tobio says evenly.

Hinata laughs even louder. "See, Natsu? Told you he ain't interested—why don't you set me up? I'm lonely over here—what do you mean I'm lame? Kageyama's super extra lamer than I am—"

"Hinata," Tobio says.

"Eh? Oh! Oh, sorry! You gotta go, huh?"

Tobio grunts.

"Alright. Sorry for keeping you. Thanks for answering!" Hinata says. "Talk to you soon, Kageyama!"

"Okay." Tobio hangs up.

He feels even more winded than when he ran over the steep incline. He doesn't think he's nervous all of a sudden, but he is feeling out of his depth.

He and Hinata haven't spoken to each other for two years. And now he's coming to Italy. Tobio doesn't know if there's something he missed in that phone call. Like a code word or a secret message. Hinata doesn't really communicate that way though, from what Tobio can recall.

But what does he know? Two years is a long time. Hinata Shouyou might as well be a stranger.

Tobio sighs as he walks down the path. He should've said no. But it's done now. He's not going to take it back.

When he arrives at the foothill, the sweat on his back has already cooled considerably, and he realizes that there's a lot of things he should've said earlier. Things he should've asked Hinata. Like if he sleeps better on a futon, or if he likes having rice for breakfast. There's a lot of stuff Tobio doesn't know, coupled with the things he had inadvertently unknown-ed.

If it were the opposite, Tobio has a nagging feeling that Hinata wouldn't feel the need to ask.

Tobio sighs again. He really should've said no.

 

...

 

When he comes back home, Tobio takes a long shower. He then eats a light meal before taking out the post-its he bought in a stationery shop at the main square. He got the neon-bright orange ones. They'd look stark pasted on the clean, cream walls of Tobio's bedroom, popping out like the alternate jerseys he used to wear in high school during nationals. That way, he won't forget.

Tobio writes on a sheet with a black marker before sticking it on the wall with his thumb.

Hinata has a younger sister in Rome is what he's written.

 

~O~

 

Day 3; 27 Days Remaining

 

...

 

Tobio's watching the tape of Brazil against Italy in the World Championships when he remembers he was the last one to know about Hinata going to Brazil.

The rest of the team knew, even the new first years that joined that year. Tobio had noticed that Hinata was paying more attention to beach volleyball tournaments overseas as the months went by, but he hadn't known the decision behind it. He hadn't asked.

Maybe the first years did; that's why they knew.

Tobio finally found out about it when they went to the same sporting goods store, a month before their second-year ended.

 

 

*****

February 16, 2014
Natori, Miyagi
Winter

...

 

The clouds that day looked as dull as the wintry sky could make it—enamel white and wispy at the edges. There was no breeze but it was chilly. Tobio had his nose tucked deep in his blue wool scarf, his gloved hands shielded even more in the pockets of his coat.

When the glass doors opened, Tobio stopped near the entrance before pulling himself out of his surprise and mumbling to the other customer, "Those aren't the best shoes for volleyball."

Hinata craned his neck up, eyes bugging out. He hadn't noticed Tobio come in. "Fancy seeing you here, Kageyama," he then said with a smile. He shook the shoes by its straps. "And these aren't for indoor volleyball. It's for when I'm on the beach!"

"Beach?"

"Uh-huh." Hinata took in Tobio's bewildered expression and explained, "I was just wondering if lighter shoes could make playing beach volleyball easier. I heard the sand can get so hot to jump on. Hmm. Maybe I could just use socks..."

Tobio frowned. "Why would you need to know?"

Hinata pursed his lips. "Huh? Wait, didn't I tell you already? I thought you knew."

"Knew what?"

"That I'm going to Brazil a year after we graduate!" Hinata said, looking every bit as confused as Tobio was. "I was going to train with beach volleyball! Seriously, you didn't know?"

"Why would I be asking if I had known?" Tobio said, before walking away to find what he had meant to get from this place. What was he looking for again? He had forgotten already.

"Well, I am!" Hinata said, following Tobio now. "You remember Washijou-sensei? He's Shiratorizawa's coach—"

"The old guy who made you a ball boy."

"Yeah, that's him!" Hinata grinned. "He got me in contact with his former student who's teaching beach in Rio. Now I'll just have to settle a couple of things, and wooshhaa! I'm good to go!"

Tobio side-eyed him. "You sure that's a good idea?"

"It's the best idea! I gotta get good in doing everything—there's no better way to do that when there's only one other guy on my side of the court."

Tobio understood the logic in that. But still. "You're not scared?"

"Of what?"

"... Nothing." Tobio found what he was looking for: a pair of absorbent wristbands he could use for running. It was a pain to bring a hand towel every morning as he went, no matter how small. He lined up at the counter and peered down at Hinata. "You're not buying anything?"

"Nope! I was really just checking," Hinata said, smiling at the clerk wearing a tennis cap. The clerk glanced at Hinata and smiled warmly back.

When Tobio left the store, Hinata didn't follow him anymore. He bid Tobio goodbye with a huge wave. "See you in practice tomorrow, Kageyama!"

Tobio nodded and watched Hinata's retreating back until it got lost in the crowd. He stood there for another minute, wondering what else he had to do while he's still here downtown, before giving up and heading home.

 

*****

 

Tobio draws his eyebrows together as he writes on the post-it: There are things Hinata doesn't tell people about himself. He frowns and amends it with, Unless you ask. He sticks it on the wall.

 

~O~

 

Day 4; 26 Days Remaining

 

...

 

They're down by two in the fifth set against Civitanova and they've taken a timeout. The game's going by faster than Tobio expected, but it's nothing out of the ordinary. They're already at the sharp end of the quarterfinals of the 2022 playoffs, and both teams seem ready to throw in the towel. Even Tobio can feel himself fraying at the seams. His sister video-called him yesterday, and commented offhandedly that he lost a lot of weight.

After their coach says two lines about using the free space on the court wisely, the players quickly start discussing strategy amongst themselves.

Their starting libero, Roberto Antonello, elbows their middle blocker and captain, Marco Martano. "," he remarks lightly.

Martano laughs in delight. "." He then switches to English, "That new hitter of theirs is an athletic beast." He wipes his face with a towel. "What's that person's name again? The left-handed guy?"

Antonello answers, "Roman Lebedev. He hits like a madman. And what, he's just twenty-two?"

"Twenty-one," Tobio says. He's been keeping tabs on Lebedev ever since they lost in the first game against Civitanova.

"Like I said. Freak of nature," Martano says, smiling lopsidedly. "Do you have anything for us, Rob?"

"Give me more space at the back end for his pipes. He's crowding us," Antonello says. "And if he peppers it, we got more options that way."

Dustin Friedman, their 208 cm opposite hitter, shakes Tobio by the shoulder. "Hey, Tobio, can you toss me the ball later? Think I got some of my mojo back," he says.

Tobio nods as Johnny Binnington, another American on their team, wrings his towel and slaps the end of it against Friedman's butt. "Do that shitass move again and I'll really ask Coach to bench you," Binnington says. "What was that lazy tap in the second set, pops? Humoring their libero? Screw you."

"Screw you, I'm the best," Friedman says happily. "At least our genius setter gets me. Great minds think alike."

Tobio takes Friedman's heavy hand off his shoulder and says, "I'll toss to you after Martano serves and it's picked up cleanly. Hit it harder this time, please."

"Gotcha."

The buzzer sounds, and Friedman smirks at Binnington as they head back to the court.

When Martano serves, Civitanova's opposite hitter receives it well. Polish veteran Marek Kubiak. 205 cm. A defensive-minded winger. Tobio's noticed he's been picking up stray balls coming from the right with greater success than on the left. He's rotated to the left now.

Tobio grins to himself.

The ball comes to their side of the court, and Tobio tosses it to Friedman at the left.

 

...

 

After all the locker room pep talk and the champagnes being floated around are emptied, Tobio bows out of the succeeding celebrations and starts heading home. He gets stopped by a handful of fans at the tunnel, requesting to get pictures taken and to sign t-shirts. Tobio wordlessly complies until one boy garbles out in English, "Tobio Kageyama, signore, you're fantastic! I'm going to play in the league and lead my team to the playoff championships just like you!"

Tobio halts before signing the ticket stub the boy is holding out to him. "Ah. Yes. Um. You can do it," he manages to respond.

The boy appears ecstatic at that. He turns to his mother and speaks in Italian, gesturing wildly at himself and Tobio. The woman smiles at her child serenely.

It doesn't take long for him to extract himself from the crowd. Tobio doesn't mind interacting with Trentino fans, but he also doesn't have much to say to them. It's a good thing they don't seem to mind as long as he poses and signs their things whenever and wherever.

The accommodation the club has given him is close. It's only a thirty-minute walk; a measly six, if he runs. In his first few months with the team, he used to run back to his place as a quick, post-game workout, but he found that it took him a longer time to get to sleep. So he had let that routine peter into a comfortable stroll.

This time, however, he runs, his duffel bag swinging wildly behind him. He's remembered something.

 

*****

 

May 23, 2013
Natori, Miyagi
Spring

...

 

"Shouyou! Oi, Shouyou! Oh..."

A boy around their age jogged to a stop when he noticed Hinata wasn't alone. He and Tobio had been tossing and spiking to each other for about an hour now. It was the third day of midterms, and all school club activities were canceled. That hadn't stopped the two of them from playing within school grounds, however.

"Ahh! Junpei!" Hinata greeted. "What's up?"

Junpei waved back. "Oh, nothing. I was going to ask if you wanted to have a few rounds with me."

"Tennis?"

"Yeah." Junpei's eyes then flickered to Tobio. "I thought you were alone, sorry. Catch you later then!"

Something in Hinata's expression passed, but it's gone before Tobio could fully see it. Hinata smiled widely then. "Hey, Junpei, wait a sec!" He turned to Tobio. "Do you mind?" he asked.

Tobio did, but it seemed like a good time to take a break as any. So he shrugged.

Hinata cheered and ran towards Junpei, jumping and loping a sweat-slicked arm around the other boy. Tobio picked up the rolling volleyball and followed them.

Hinata's adept at tennis. Tobio hadn't expected that, but it's obvious that he had been playing with someone before or knew enough about the basics. He was noticeably less skilled than the Junpei guy, but he was able to get some clean points and an ace with a sneaky underarm serve.

Junpei laughed when Hinata botched a one-handed backhand. He tapped at his right elbow. "Straighten your right arm, Shouyou! You'll get full force that way!"

"Okay!" Hinata yelled back, saluting. The next time he managed to hit it properly but it was out of bounds. Tobio's mouth quirked as Hinata bowed thrice in apology.

The sun was about to set. There were bursts of orange and pinks in the calm afternoon sky. "Oi, Hinata! I'll head out in ten minutes!" Tobio shouted, palms flat on the grass.

Hinata only seemed to notice him at that moment. "Oh, sorry! Go ahead!" he said, hand cupped around his mouth. "I'll play with you loads tomorrow, yeah?"

That wasn't really a problem, but Tobio nodded.

His ten minutes stretched to twenty, to thirty, and then to a full hour, until it's too dark to play properly on the court.

After saying goodbye to Junpei, Hinata bumped Tobio's shoulder as they were heading out. "You said you were going ahead."

"The weather was nice." Tobio liked the feeling of the breeze on his face as he watched Hinata chase the small yellow ball across the halfcourt.

Hinata laughed as he wheeled his bike to his side. "Admit it! You lost track of the time there, Kageyama," he said. "Wow. That's a first. You always go straight home after practice to eat."

"We didn't have practice today."

"That wasn't my point at all!"

Tobio shrugged again and yawned. He then noticed the direction they were both heading, and he said, "What? You're going to walk me home?" He's not Yachi-san or some other girl, was he?

Hinata's ears pinked. "Well... you waited for me! I'm returning the favor!"

Tobio blinked at him in confusion. It wasn't for Hinata's sake. Tobio really did lose track of the time.

Hinata hoisted his bike up the curb. "Look. This is like me returning the favor to Junpei," he explained. "He used to play volleyball with me back in middle school when he was free." He chuckled. "I had to beg him to do it. His arms got so red the first time we played and it scared him away. So we struck a deal. I'll play tennis when he needs to practice, and he'll toss to me sometimes."

So Tobio was right about Hinata having played tennis before with someone. "You did say you didn't have a volleyball team in middle school."

"Not until my third-year!" Hinata said brightly. "Man, I wonder how my kouhais are doing. Maybe I should text them later. See what they're up to..."

Tobio frowned as he said, "You could've joined your friend in playing tennis." Or any other sport, he thought.

Hinata gave him a strange look. "I guess, but I want to play volleyball, you know?"

Tobio had the vague feeling Hinata had been having this conversation with a lot of people already, so he let it go. The conversation then shifted to their upcoming practice match with Date Tech the following week, talking strategy and arguing about who gets faced off with who. Having been to nationals, it would appear Karasuno was at an advantage. But Koganegawa-san still stood at 198 cm, and he was now a threat as a setter with all the experience under his belt.

"You're saying he can beat you?" Hinata said.

Tobio scowled. "Idiot, I was saying we don't know yet the kind of first-years they've got. They might have a new hitter Koganegawa-san can use effectively against us." Karasuno had a new libero, and Ennoshita-san wanted him to start for the upcoming match. He was a first-year, and had only been playing volleyball for a few months. Tobio didn't have the greatest confidence in him yet.

"But we'll get around 'em for sure," Hinata said. He skipped twice and walked backwards, beaming at Tobio. "Hey, let's do that super-duper quick attack near the antenna during the game! Let's do it, let's do it!"

Tobio glanced at him before looking ahead. "You sure you up for it?"

"Yeah, duh. We've been practicing, haven't we?"

With little success, Tobio's brain helpfully supplied. They only got two out fifteen from their last try. But it's not like it mattered to them. "Alright."

Tobio thought it was impossible, but Hinata grinned even wider then. His cheeks were as pink as the tips of his ears.

There's a lamp post up ahead. Tobio waited.

Clang!

"Ow! What the—"

"Ahh, watch out," Tobio drawled, smothering a smirk.

Hinata fell back as he rubbed the sore spot where his head hit the metal post. "Ugh," he grouched. "Kageyama, you bastard—!"

Tobio heard the fast progression of footsteps and the rattling bicycle spokes behind him, and they were enough a cue for him to run.

 

*****

 

Tobio decides to make two notes. First, he writes Hinata can do other sports but chose volleyball. For the second one, he places Hinata returns favors. He pastes them on the wall and hits the showers.

 

~O~

 

Day 6; 24 Days Remaining

 

...

 

His older sister video calls him while he's eating breakfast.

"I bought it," Tobio says before Miwa can say anything else.

Miwa purses her lips before smiling a little. "Good," she says. "Was it hard to find?"

Tobio glances at the ceiling as he chews. A few weeks ago, Miwa asked him if he could buy a particular curling iron that was being sold in Milan. He didn't know anything about curling irons, but it was a good thing his teammate did; Vincenzo Leone saw him hunched over his phone, scrolling through a fashion website in the locker room in distress, and Leone cheerily pointed him to the right direction.

"My wife," Leone told him by way of explanation. His deeply russet brown skin shone with sweat. "That for your girl?"

Tobio shook his head. "Sister."

"Ahh." Leone grinned, patting him on the back. "That's a handsome gift. Pretty popular with the ladies. Tell me if you need any more help, Tobio."

Thankfully, everything else went without a hitch. He didn't want to bother his teammates with non-volleyball things.

Tobio swallows the slice of toast down and says, "It's being sent to you. Tell me if you got it, Miwa-san."

Miwa nods. "Thank you. Do you have a game today?"

"No. But we do two days from now," Tobio says in between chews.

"Alright. Good luck."

"Thank you."

"Will you be going home this May?"

Tobio pauses. "What's in May?"

Miwa's mouth quirks in amusement. "It's Ichika-chan's wedding. You're invited, remember?"

"Ahh." Tobio ducks his head, setting his butter knife aside. "When was it again?"

"May 10th."

He knows just from hearing the date that he won't be able to come to Miyagi, but he checks his phone calendar to make sure. "If we don't get eliminated early, we have a game that day," Tobio says. "We made it to the semifinals."

"Oh. Congrats, Tobio."

"Yeah. Sorry, Miwa-san."

Miwa waves her hand in dismissal. "Apologize to our cousin," she says. "And it's not like this is something you can take a leave with easily. Your work's important."

Tobio bows slightly. He then hesitates. "Hinata's coming to visit me on the 12th," he says.

Miwa's mouth parts, her blue spinel eyes glinting in surprise. "Hinata-kun?"

"Yeah. He's coming to see his sister who lives in Rome."

"Mhmm. And he's taking a detour to see you." Miwa smiles. "It's impossible for you to make it to the wedding then."

"Huh?"

Miwa laughs, a manicured hand over her mouth. "How long will he be there?" she asks instead.

"I don't know," Tobio says. "He said he'd probably be here for two days, but he's not so sure yet."

"And what would you two be doing?"

"I don't know," Tobio says, more reluctantly this time. "I... I'm figuring it out."

"Well, don't lose too much sleep over it," Miwa says. "You can take him to see the sights. Do all the tourist-y stuff."

Tobio places a clammy palm over his nape. "Ahh. Yes."

"Tobio," Miwa says. "You've been there for more than three years. Surely you must have some idea—" When she notices Tobio's uneasy expression, she laughs. "Really, little brother? Have you ever went out to watch a movie even?"

Tobio hasn't, but he doesn't see the need for her to know that. "I don't want to get lost."

"Oh, sure." Miwa leans back on her chair, her long black hair fanning over one side of her face. "Then you and Hinata-kun can have fun getting lost over there together."

Tobio abruptly recalls that one time in their second year in high school, and he shakes his head vigorously. "That's not an option," he says with finality.

Miwa snorts impressively. "Alright. Better get to work knowing the place then." Her voice turns stern. "I better not hear you two spending all that time playing volleyball in the backyard."

Tobio deflates. That was his Plan C. "Alright."

"Because that would be rude," Miwa says like she needs to be assured Tobio understood her. "Even if he is as crazy into the sport as you are, that's just not acceptable. He's coming all that way..."

"Alright," Tobio replies once more, giving in. He trusts Miwa's judgment over his when it comes to situations like this one. She's never had trouble keeping friends and remembering even all the trivial things about them.

Miwa nods, appearing satisfied. "How long has it been, really?" she says. "I hope you two have fun."

Tobio grunts in vague assent.

"Don't worry about Ichika-chan. I'll tell her you can't make it. Bye, little brother. And good luck."

"Thank you."

Miwa drops the call immediately, and Tobio gets up to wash the dishes.

 

*****

 

November 20, 2013
Natori, Miyagi
Autumn

...

 

Tobio knew they had passed that bowling center four times already. His patience was wearing thin. "Hinata," he warned.

Hinata waved his hand over Tobio's face. "Ergh, just gimme a sec—"

"Why do you want to keep figuring it out? You're so stupid—"

"Shut up! I've been here before! I know the way—"

"We're lost," Tobio insisted. "Call Ennoshita-senpai now."

Hinata only gave in when they circled the plaza again and ended up at an empty park. The benches were rickety and rusting and full of holes. Tobio sat on the end of the slide as he fumed, watching as Hinata paced and talked with Ennoshita on the phone.

When practice proved too short to burn off everyone's extra energy, the team had a late afternoon run. Tobio and Hinata ended up outpacing everyone—and also ended up at the other side of town, the south end of the river, where Tobio had never been. Hinata claimed he had and attempted to navigate them back to school with little success. Just a regular day for them.

When Hinata lumbered to Tobio's side, looking thoroughly scolded, Tobio sighed and muttered, "When's he getting us?"

Hinata made a face. "He said to give him thirty minutes. We did run a little farther out..."

Tobio laid on the slide and stared up at the purple skies. The moon had started to appear next to a star that was twinkling faintly.

"Hey..." Hinata began.

Tobio peered at him. There was a maple tree right behind Hinata, the leaves shivering with the faint breeze; they're a blazing orange-red, blending well with Hinata's distinctive copper hair. Tobio blinked.

"Are you hungry?" Hinata said. "I'll treat you."

"With what?"

Hinata pointed at a food stall just a few meters away. It was selling taiyaki. Tobio's mouth suddenly watered.

"You have your wallet with you?"

Hinata nodded. "I wouldn't have offered if I didn't."

"You've been offering stuff you don't necessarily have," Tobio snapped, his earlier irritation flaring again.

Hinata reddened but dutifully ignored him. He took out his wallet and started walking towards the pedestrian lane. Tobio stood up and followed him—the store might only be across the street, but Tobio wasn't taking any chances. What if Hinata got lost again?

Hinata got both of them four taiyakis. Tobio grunted in thanks. He almost groaned when he bit the head off of the fish-shaped bread, the red bean filling bursting in his mouth. He was really hungry.

As they sauntered back to the park, Hinata said, "I think I came here twice with a friend of mine in middle school. We played at a batting center here, but I can't find it anymore."

Feeling more magnanimous now that he had something in his stomach, Tobio hummed in reply. He ate another taiyaki, biting off the tail this time.

Hinata smiled faintly at the merry-go-round. "I was born here too," he then said.

Tobio swallowed audibly. "Here?" he parroted. "I thought you lived by the mountains."

Hinata half-laughed, half-scoffed. "What, you thought jungle creatures helped my mom give birth to me or something?"

Knowing Hinata, that was not a remote possibility. Tobio shrugged. He sat on the swing—the chains gave out a metallic shriek under the added weight—while Hinata plonked himself on another. "It's far from where you live now," Tobio said before munching on the sea bream-shaped bread.

"Yeah. But my parents used to live here. They were neighbors, I think," Hinata said. He then went at length about how his parents went to all the same schools and married, and how they decided to move to Medeshimadai to raise their kids in an old traditional house, but boasting a much bigger space.

"Did I tell you about the boar that invaded our backyard?" Hinata said with barely contained glee. "That was so crazy!"

Tobio let Hinata tell it as he finished all of his taiyaki. The thirty minutes passed swiftly like that.

It was already dark when Ennoshita came to meet them at the entrance, shaking his head in amusement. Hinata bought him taiyaki as thanks, before buying the rest of the freshly made batch.

"For Natsu and my mom," Hinata said with an impish grin, shaking the paper bag. "Bribes for later."

He didn't elaborate what he needs bribing for, and Tobio didn't deem it important to ask. "Don't forget the keys tomorrow," he said.

Hinata leapt, garnering stares from the bystanders. "I won't!"

Ennoshita chuckled. "Seriously, Hinata. Save your energy. We have a practice match tomorrow."

"Yes, captain!" Hinata exclaimed.

Tobio snorted quietly. If Tobio was the one who told him that, that dumbass would've resisted.

They walked back to school, the scent of taiyaki trailing them as they go.

 

*****

 

Tobio's about to go to bed when he passes the post-its on his nightstand. He takes the marker and writes.

Hinata and his family like taiyaki.

Hinata gets lost easily.

Hinata was born at a hospital in Iinozaka.

He puts them on the wall, aligning them carefully. Afterwards, he frowns at the notes and opts to add another one:

Hinata's hair has the same color as the autumn leaves.

 

~O~

 

Day 9; 21 Days Remaining

 

...

 

Earlier this morning, Tobio printed out a map of the city. Although it took him an inordinate amount of time to work out the printer, he was able to memorize the routes quickly. He decides to run in a trail he hasn't tried yet, where he'll be near a substantial number of tourist attractions in Trento. He can check out the places there, find things Hinata might appreciate.

Even though this was his Plan A all along, Tobio has been dreading doing it. He hasn't had the greatest experience entertaining guests. When Mother and Father came to see him for a month the previous year, they hadn't at all hidden their dismay at having to figure it out themselves how to fit in Tobio's life in Italy. It was hard to face their disappointment at Tobio's lack of hospitality, but he couldn't be bothered seeing the sights and feast on the strange food when all he wanted to do was play volleyball. His mother had gently chided him when he said so. As much as he can make the sport the sole fixture in his life, this is all part of the process. Welcoming people. Keeping them company. Being an adult.

Tobio doesn't know how to live a life other than this, however. He's not sure if it's too late for him to do otherwise.

"You need more things in here," Mother said, assessing the living room. "You need better furniture. Some indoor plants, maybe. Let's go shopping before your father and I leave."

"Okay," Tobio said. And so they dragged their listless, twenty-four-year-old son to the city center, in a busy store that sells home improvement products. Afterwards, they had him get a haircut for good measure.

Now, truly a year has passed. Tobio has barely sat on the couch they bought, and all the plants have long since wilted. His home is cold and empty.

For both their sakes, it's better if Hinata doesn't spend too much time here inside when he arrives.

 

*****

 

March 8, 2015
Natori, Miyagi
Spring

...

 

They all agreed to meet at Tobio's place since hardly anyone was ever there except for himself. If it hadn't been for Hinata bounding like a rocket to his seat during lunch and asking if his fridge at home was ready to be raided, Tobio wouldn't have thought of buying meals and snacks for his guests.

As soon as class was over, Tobio went to the convenience store near his house. Not knowing what he should buy, he almost emptied out the snack bar, but got the healthiest options for himself and Hinata.

They started filtering in by six o'clock. There were four of them in the group: himself; Hinata; a guy with chestnut hair and glasses; and a thin guy whose hobby seemed to be collecting trading cards—Tobio sat next to him in class, and the boy's bag was always filled to the brim with them.

"Ahoy, Kageyama-san!" Chestnut hair guy greeted him with a two-fingered salute. He tossed Tobio a milk carton, which Tobio barely caught in his surprise. "Hinata mentioned you guzzle down milk like a baby seal."

"Oh." Tobio straightened. "Thank you."

"Don't mention it."

Hinata and Trading Cards Guy came after two minutes, heads close together as they discussed the new anime series that came out this weekend.

"Have you even read the manga, Shouyou?" Trading Cards Guy sniffed as he shed his shoes at the genkan. "It just doesn't make sense for him to join the Aogori—"

"Still though, Kaneki was awesome," Hinata said as he unwound the muffler off his neck. "I can appreciate the fight scenes at least, can't I? He's so badass in them!"

"Yeah, yeah. But read the manga! It's just better! I'll lend you my copies tomorrow, and by the gods, you will read them or our friendship is over!"

Hinata laughed, combing back his long, wavy fringe with his fingers. "Alright!"

Tobio met Hinata's eyes, and he tilted his head towards the living room.

"Come on, guys. King-yama awaits," Hinata said to Chestnut and Trading Cards, bringing them over by their elbows with a grin.

They gathered around the low rectangular table where Tobio piled over the snacks.

Trading Cards made an awed sound. "Oh, man! Look at all these! It's like I'm at a pajama party in elementary school, wow—oh jeez, Kageyama, you even got us Tokyo Banana? I'm calling it! Kageyama-san takes the best host title for our class this year!"

Hinata squeed over the small packet of corn chips, but Tobio smacked his hand away and shoved the onigiri against his chest.

Hinata blew out a breath. "Aww, Kageyama, can I have one at least? I haven't had one in so long—"

"No," Tobio said.

"Ugh, Stingy-yama's worse than Stingy-shima," Hinata grumbled. He bumped Tobio's shoulder as he unwrapped the rice snack. "Anyway, thanks for the food."

Chestnut sniggered at the two of them. "You got yourself a handler, Hinata?"

"He's not my handler!" Hinata exclaimed at the same time Tobio said, "I am not his handler."

"Oh, boy," Trading Cards muttered, chuckling thereafter. He brought out several papers from his bag. "So how do we go about this?"

Chestnut, the leader of their group, slid his glasses up the bridge of his nose with a finger, and that seemed to be the cue for everyone to pay attention. Tobio chewed on his onigiri as Chestnut laid out options on how they could present their reading assignment as a skit in class. Tobio had read Straw Millionaire when he was in middle school, and all he could recall about it was thinking how impossible it was to catch a buzzing fly and tie a straw around it.

"There's only four of us and there's like, double the number of characters or something," Trading Cards pointed out. "You thinking we should rotate roles?"

"That, or we could ask some of our classmates to stand in for the minor characters," Chestnut said. "They won't have to say a thing. I'll be the narrator. Can you ask some of the guys, Hinata?"

Hinata beamed. "Sure can!"

Chestnut muttered his thanks as he opened a fresh bag of potato chips. "Hmm. So who's gonna be the peasant-turned-millionaire? Hinata, you can be the girl with the silk cloth, right?"

Hinata jolted back. "What? Why?"

Chestnut quirked an eyebrow and gestured roughly at Hinata's appearance. "You're cute for a guy. No offense."

Hinata appeared every bit as offended. "I'm not cute." His eyes flickered to Tobio, before saying, "I grew by 3.7 cm since last year."

Trading Card's eyes widened. "No, Shouyou. We just meant—your hair belongs to a bishounen straight out of a shoujo manga, and you've got long eyelashes. And, well, you're really the shortest one here. You can pass yourself off as the rich guy's daughter better than any of us."

Hinata turned pink-cheeked. He pursed his lips in defiance, and Tobio's gaze got drawn to the soft lines of his mouth, then back up to his eyes. Hinata really had long, thick eyelashes framing his dark brown eyes.

Already figuring what was going to happen next, Tobio wearily raised his hand. "I'll be the girl," he said.

Everyone's heads whirred to him in surprise.

"You want to be the girl, Kageyama-san?" Trading Cards asked.

Tobio shrugged. "I won't have to do much, right?"

Chestnut grinned, flicking the papers to him. "You're just gonna give the silk cloth to the main character in one scene, then marry him at the end. Sound alright?"

That's good enough for Tobio. He took his script. "Alright."

Hinata shot him a disbelieving stare. "Are you sure, Kageyama?"

Tobio rolled his eyes. He wasn't going to be so terrible at such a silly thing, was he? "Yeah, I'm sure," he huffed.

Trading Card cackled over his yakult. "I can't wait to see the faces of all the girls in our class. Kageyama-san in a kimono. It'll be a riot!"

"I have a set my older sister wore for her coming of age ceremony," Chestnut said. "I think you can borrow that."

"Are you kidding? I've seen your sister, Ise-kun, and I'm telling you. Kageyama-san's shoulders will rip it at the seams—"

"I have an older sister. She's, um, she's tall," Tobio interjected, feeling embarrassed all of a sudden. "I can borrow hers."

Chestnut looked relieved. "Alright. That settles it, then."

They started assigning the rest of the roles. The peasant would be Trading Cards, and Hinata would be the rich guy with the estate and daughter. They then started rehearsing the major scenes at seven and finished making most of the props by nine. By then, it's time for Tobio's three guests to leave, especially the one who had to cycle across the mountains to get to his house.

"Thanks for the save, Kageyama," Hinata said quite bashfully as he kicked the bike stand off the ground. "I owe you one."

Hinata didn't owe Tobio anything. In truth, it was the other way around. "You'd look terrible in a kimono" was what Tobio settled to say instead.

Hinata groused, "I'd look twenty times better than you, you mean." He then grinned dopily. "Buuuutttttt I'll still take pictures of you tomorrow and send it to our lovely teammates, just in case anybody else is curious."

Tobio glared down at him. Maybe before, maybe two years ago, it would have scared off and deterred Hinata from doing anything stupid. But Hinata just rolled his shoulders and chortled over the handlebars, as if Tobio had said a gut-busting joke or something.

Chestnut and Trading Cards set off, waving goodbye. "Thanks for having us, Kageyama-san!" Trading Cards shouted.

Hinata smiled back at Tobio once more before striking the pedals and cycling in the opposite direction.

 

*****

 

There's only one Asian grocery store in Trento, but it's a sizable one that mostly has popular selections like the ones back in Japan on its shelves. Tobio gets rice, pork, chicken, vegetables, and all the essentials and dumps them in the cart. He sashays between a dozen carton of eggs and two dozen, but ultimately decides to get the two dozen. He wants omurice for breakfast tomorrow.

He comes to the snack aisle. This time, Tobio knows what he's looking for.

He doesn't have to buy anything now, since Hinata's arrival is still a few weeks away. But he checks whether they have Hinata's favorite corn chips, and is gratified to find that they have several packs at the bottom shelf. He can let Hinata indulge with one, at least.

When he gets home, he unpacks the groceries and places them in the fridge and their proper shelves. He pads to his room and writes two more notes:

Hinata doesn't like being called cute.

Hinata likes Calbee Grill-a-Corn Chips.

Tobio pulls back and crosses his arms over his chest, eyes trained against the several post-its dotting the wall like marigolds persisting in the early frost. He then frowns.

It's not enough. What else can he remember?

 

~O~

 

Day 10; 20 Days Remaining

 

...

 

The playoff heat is always intense. It's usually motivating, but it can also spill over and morph into the worst of things. Sometimes, the wrong buttons are pushed. Voices get raised. Punches are thrown. Tobio hasn't witnessed a lot of it personally, and he supposes he's lucky he hasn't been at the center of many team dramas ever since high school. But that doesn't make it any less uncomfortable when it does happen.

Samuel Setti, a veteran outside hitter who's been in and out of the line-up this season, has been at odds with Binnington ever since their run with Modena started. They are very friendly with each other off the court, but Setti can't get rid of the assumption that Trentino got Binnington this year to replace him. And after their deafening 3-0 loss tonight, Setti lets out a continuous stream of Italian swear words and throws down his barely used towel in his stall. Martano's electing to ignore it, so Tobio does the same and keeps his head down.

Many things happen all at once; Tobio's supposed to be used to that, but his fatigued brain can't parse through the slew of events when the festering dissatisfaction in the locker room bursts.

"For fuck's sake, Sam, keep it in your pants," Binnington snipes. "Whining like a little bitch. Christ."

Setti grabs a fistful of Binnington's jersey and slams the other man against the nearby door. The commotion gets everyone's heads turning to their direction.

"Woah," Antonello gets on his feet. "Guys—"

There's another disturbing sound of a body colliding with a hardwood surface. Tobio winces, feeling a phantom grip around his waist. He then hears a disembodied, vexed voice yelling at his ear, demanding a toss for a quick attack he mistakenly deemed impossible to pull off.

"Not so big and tough now at this distance, oh?" Setti snarls. "Saw you fucking flinch."

"And you're all mouth, no pants," Binnington spits. "What, you gonna scamper to management now and say I'm running you out of the team?"

Setti looks livid. "You think I'm not capable of rearranging your pretty face, huh, ?"

Martano steps in at that moment. With great force, he pulls Setti off of Binnington and crows something in Italian.

Binnington locks eyes with Tobio, and Tobio looks down again on instinct, the back of his neck flaming.

Friedman sits next to Tobio and pats Tobio's thigh. "Looks like we've got some fearless guys on our team, huh," Friedman whispers with a light chuckle. "Ever been in a scuffle like that, Tobio?"

A couple. But maybe not to that degree.

"Eh, let 'em have a go at it, I say," Friedman continues. "Get fired up, take back that shitty game." He pats Tobio's knees. "You did great, as always."

"You too, Friedman-san," Tobio says.

Friedman laughs at Tobio's slip. "See 'ya at practice bright and early, Kageyama-san." He pats Tobio's knee one more time before going over to Binnington and smacking his chest playfully. Binnington swears at Friedman, but it lacks any of the spite in the words he hurled at Setti.

Tobio goes home and mulls over Friedman's words: Let 'em have a go at it, I say. It rings a bell, and Tobio can't recall where he's heard it before.

It's only when he's turned off the lights and is slinking under the duvet when he remembers.

 

*****

January 8, 2015
Shibuya, Tokyo
Winter

...

 

Tobio and the rest of the third-years were about to leave the dining room when Yaotome, their second-year libero, held up his arms like an eagle to stop them.

"It's Shoji-kun and Tokita-kun," Yaotome says, breathing heavily. "They're causing a mess outside."

Yachi looked ill. Yamaguchi sighed and mumbled, "Again?" before following Yaotome and going after the team's notorious scrappers.

As always, Tsukishima appeared the least distressed. "Let them fight. It'll take the edge off," he drawled, placing his headphones back to his ears. He headed to the stairs.

"Kageyama-kun," Yachi said weakly. "Aren't you going with Yamaguchi?"

Tobio turned to her. "Huh?"

"Maybe he could use a little support?"

"Oh." Tobio frowned. He's the vice-captain. Right. He then glanced at Hinata, who's already making his way up to their shared room. "Oi, where are you going?"

Hinata threw him a bemused look. "Upstairs?"

Tobio frowned even deeper. Tokita and Shoji were Hinata's kouhai, more than anyone else's. They followed him around on and off the court. They had been in Hinata's house more than a dozen times already, whereas Tobio had only visited once. Hinata's intervention would mean much more than his, was what Tobio figured. "You're not going to say anything to them?"

"I don't know what it's about, but that fight's been a long time coming," Hinata said with a smile, small and dour. "It's not every day we lose to Itachiyama."

Tobio replied, "You're agreeing with that four-eyed bastard for once."

Hinata laughed with humor this time. "Well, he's right. Let them have a go at it. They're good partners. They'll survive." His gaze turned to Yachi, and he suddenly looked embarrassed.

Yachi seemed to brighten at that. "I guess you'd know, Hinata." She then directed her smile at Tobio. "Do you want me to come with you?"

"No need." Tobio guessed Yamaguchi had already gone ahead and set the two straight. That meant Tobio's in charge of clean-up. He could do that by himself. "Good night, Yachi-san."

Yachi waved as she ambled towards the managers' room. Tobio looked back at the staircase, his mouth parted, but Hinata was already gone. The words clogged in his throat; he couldn't recall what they were.

When he came outside, he found that he's right. Yamaguchi had indeed successfully broken up the fight. The two second-years looked a bit shaken up, but otherwise they're alright. Tobio scowled at them severely, and that got them bowing repeatedly and apologizing for disturbing the neighborhood so late at night.

 

*****

 

His hair's still wet from the shower when he writes on the pad; the ink smudges as tiny droplets fall when he bends down and scribbles, Hinata thinks fighting is okay.

Tobio pauses, and writes again. He thinks good partners have disagreements sometimes.

He feels a heavy weight settling on his gut as he caps the marker. Tobio wonders whether he and Hinata were better partners than friends. He wonders if those two terms are mutually exclusive, when it comes to them.

It's a doubt he can't resolve on his own, not when the person in question is still far away. Hinata holds half of the memories Tobio needs to make a conclusion.

Once Hinata comes, maybe he'll finally know. Tobio's not in a hurry to find out anyway.

But what he does know is this: Hinata and I are good rivals. He pastes it on the wall with the rest of the notes.

 

~O~

 

Day 11; 19 Days Remaining

 

...

 

In the end, they only win one game against Modena. They drop the final set at 18-16. It's an away game, so Tobio has to lumber back along with his dejected teammates to their hotel. Before he manages to swipe his keycard, Friedman nudges him.

"Meet us at the lobby tomorrow at nine," Friedman says with a small smile. "We need to give this shitshow a proper send-off."

Tobio doesn't understand what Friedman meant at that last statement, but he does get that he needs to be with his teammates at that time. So he nods, and Friedman slaps his shoulder once before entering his room.

 

...

 

Fourteen professional volleyball players of different nationalities have gathered in a plaza in front of an impressive cathedral. Martano's announcing something about splitting into smaller groups, but Tobio's hardly listening—he's giving his utmost and unwarranted attention to a nearby toddler in a stroller; the kid's parents have their backs turned as they admire the view. It's only when Leone jostles Tobio that he becomes aware of being ushered to one of the alleyways.

"You're with us now, Tobio," Leone says with a laugh. "You don't mind, right?"

Tobio shakes his head. He hasn't had any major problems communicating with anyone in the team thus far, so he thinks he can go with any group. It appears he'll be joining Leone, Friedman, and Hugo Granati, an olive-skinned middle blocker standing at the 210s. Tobio feels incredibly short next to him.

"You sure it's okay coming with us, Dus?" Leone says.

Friedman smiles. He cocks his head at Binnington and Setti cackling about something with Antonello. "Eh. Johnny says they're cool now. Besides, I don't need to babysit that asshole," Friedman says. "Sam can bust his nut. That'll show him, starting shit."

Granati laughs out loud as Leone grins.

Gesturing at the soothing pastel houses lining the streets, Leone says, "My wife makes me come here with her a lot. She loves going on walks even if all I want is a soak and to eat all day in our hotel room." He smiles. "I feel like a dog sometimes."

"Smell like one too," Friedman quips, laughing when Leone moves to punch him on the arm. "Speaking of pungent scents, can we go to that vinegar place Setti and Antonello were blathering on about a while ago?"

Leone murmurs something to Granati in Italian, and Granati says, "" He pauses. "Maybe open. Not sure."

Leone grins at the foreigners. "How's your Italian?" he says. "We actually just passed the balsamic vinegar museum, but we're not sure if it's open. We didn't see any tourists when we came by. And the tour's in Italian, so I don't think you could fully appreciate it. We can go to a taste testing place later if you want."

"My Italian sucks balls and I've been here for five years," Friedman says blithely. "At least Tobio can get around pretty okay."

"Do you want to eat, Tobio?" Leone says.

Tobio just had breakfast, but that will be alright.

They take a long time talking and walking along the slated sidewalks, passing by chains of scooters and bicycles parked in front of red-bricked buildings. They come by a heavily-gated market place where the alleyways have turned narrower.

"''," Friedman reads aloud a sign on the black railings with a laugh. "I'm gonna hazard a guess and say that means no bicycles are allowed inside."

Leone grins. "We're not going in there, though. Maybe later." He tilts his head towards a café close by with maroon patio umbrellas and wooden lawn chairs outside. The three others follow him inside.

It's a sandwich place. The air smells of freshly baked bread, roasted nuts and smoked meat. Behind the glass displays, a slim man with a black apron takes the orders of the few customers in front of them.

They sit at the outdoor table with their sandwiches. Tobio got the one with the sausage and pumpkin. The toasty crust breaks audibly when he sinks his teeth on the bread.

"So. House rules," Friedman says, wiping the sauce off the corner of his mouth with his thumb. "No volleyball talk for the rest of the day. Our coach and trainers back home are already haranguing me to sign up for some press stuff with the national team, and I'm just beat."

Leone snickers. "So what will the American do this off-season?"

Friedman's lips quirk to one side. "See my girl. She's a Brit. I'm gonna be in London for two weeks before flying to Michigan."

"Oh! Hugo's wife is from England!" Leone flicks his thumb at Granati, who's sitting beside him and fishing out the lettuce from his sandwich. "You know Hugo, you should get her to teach you more than just the swear words."

Hugo peers at them with a shy grin. "No English. Badly."

"I gotta say, man. You speak better English than I do," Friedman says to Leone. "What's up with that?"

Leone swirls his wine glass and sips. "Roomed with an American in Poland for far too long. Taught me how to play beer pong," he then says.

Friedman laughs. "Learned how to bank your shots there, huh?" he says, before flicking his wrist towards Tobio. "How 'bout you, Tobio? What are you gonna do this off-season?"

Tobio licks his lips. "Train," he says. "Gym."

"You run every day," Leone says. "That's good, but ease up on the weights, Tobio. Remember how you overdid it last year?"

"Rest," Granati suggests.

Tobio looks at all their serious, expectant faces, and so he responds with a firm nod.

 

...

 

Tobio doesn't know how to drive. And when Granati, the car enthusiast of the team, learns that he's never been inside a powerful sports car, the older man hustles him to the counter. Before Tobio can blink, he's being handed a blue helmet and ushered outside to the testing track.

The driver with the curly brown hair introduces himself, but Tobio forgets his name as soon as he utters it. All he recalls is that the man is a professional race car driver, which is good. After shaking each other's hands, Tobio enters the flaming red Ferrari he's only seen in commercials. It's cramped inside.

The seatbelts are already tight around his torso, but Tobio clasps at it with both hands.

Brown Hair glances at him and chuckles at the pink tinge of excitement on Tobio's cheeks. "Ready, signore?"

Tobio nods resolutely.

Brown Hair laughs again and steps on the gas pedal.

The momentum knocks Tobio back to his seat as the car accelerates at an incredible rate. Brown Hair says something sidelong, but Tobio can't hear him with the sudden rush of blood in his ears. They continue hurtling down until they reach a bend in the road. When Brown Hair turns the car, Tobio's stomach careens to the opposite direction in his torso. He tastes acid at the back of his throat.

They speed through the far-flung test track at 230 km per hour. It's over after two laps. The entire thing was way too short, in Tobio's opinion.

Tobio realizes that his legs have turned to jelly when he flings open the car door and almost falls face first on the asphalt. Grinning, Brown Hair offers an arm to help him out, but Tobio politely declines. His teammates laugh raucously at Tobio's flushed face when he ambles towards their side.

 

...

 

"Just gym?" Leone asks.

"Ahh," Tobio says. "Mostly."

They're waiting for the elevator to come down. Friedman and the rest went out for drinks; Tobio opts out since he doesn't like drinking. Leone has to take a raincheck since his eight-year-old daughter keeps on calling him.

Leone types out something on his phone. "If you need to hang out, you can come over. My house is just two blocks away from your apartment, you know."

"Thank you," Tobio says. He then thinks of something, but the insides of his throat feel like sand. He can't speak.

"My wife makes better panino al cotechino than the ones we had earlier." Leone winks. "Brought you there for comparison. Anyway, do think about it."

The elevator dings open. Leone enters, eyes still trained on his phone, and Tobio trails after him.

 

*****

January 12, 2014
Natori, Miyagi
Winter

...

 

Hinata's sitting on the steps at the back entrance of the gym, looking pensive. He wasn't wearing his sweater. Tobio saw it on top of Hinata's school bag, and he crossed the court to bring it to the idiot.

Someone got to Hinata before he did.

"Hinata-kun," a girl with swishy black hair in a complicated-looking ponytail said, stopping at the foot of the steps.

Tobio stopped too, a few feet away from them. He didn't recognize her.

Hinata did. "Tokumi-san?" he said, confused, before beaming at her. "Hi! Sorry, we've kinda taken over your side of the court today."

Ponytail must be from the girls' volleyball team. And someone from their year, if Hinata could talk comfortably with her.

Tobio only noticed she was holding something behind her when she thrust something into Hinata's hands.

"Cheer up, okay?" Ponytail's eyes smiled with her mouth, though her hands fumbled at her side. "We watched all of your matches. You were really great last week."

Hinata reddened. "I was really out of it in class yesterday, huh?"

"And the day before that."

Hinata chuckled sheepishly and looked down at the round package in his hands, wrapped in cloth. Before he could open it, Ponytail hastily bid him goodbye.

Tobio's mouth twisted before shuffling towards Hinata. He dumped the sweater on Hinata's head.

Hinata craned his neck up to face him. The sweater flopped on the floor. "Ergh, Kageyama, you bastard—"

"You said you weren't going to mope," Tobio said. He leaned on the doorpost, arms crossed.

Hinata made a face at him, before mumbling something sullenly.

Tobio jerked his chin at the package. "What's that?"

"Ahh! Wait, I haven't..." Hinata untied the bow. It was a bento. He took off the lid, and when the steam cleared, Tobio saw that it was chahan topped with fried egg and slices of mushroom at the side.

Tobio cracked a wicked grin when Hinata's lower lip wobbled. "You were moping," he confirmed. "I win."

"Fine," Hinata snapped, tears welling up at the corner of his eyes. "Are you just gonna stand there and make fun of me?"

Tobio snorted. "It's cold, dumbass," he said. "Put on your sweater before I call that girl back so she could see you drizzle snot all over your rice."

"Her name's Tokumi, you big jerk. You were classmates last year. Learn their names, jeez." Hinata placed the bento away and slipped his arms inside the sweater holes. "Are you hungry?"

"Huh?"

"Do you like mushrooms?"

Tobio stood straight. "Yeah."

"Me too," Hinata said, wiping his tears with the sleeve of his sweater. "Come have some."

Tobio sat next to him and took a chopstick. He stabbed the mushrooms and ate while Hinata pulled apart the fried egg with the other stick.

"We're going to get them next year," Hinata said.

Chewing noiselessly, Tobio peered at him. He then swallowed. "Inarizaki won't have the Miya twins anymore." It wouldn't be a rematch exactly.

But Hinata wasn't concerned about a rematch. "We're going to beat Inarizaki, with or without them," he said. "Then we're going to pull ahead and be the number one team in Japan."

That was a good enough goal for Tobio. "Mhmm," he agreed.

Hinata offered to split the chahan between the two of them. He might have been feeling particularly charitable that chilly morning, and Tobio was hungry enough to take advantage. He hadn't had a proper breakfast yet.

 

*****

 

The curtains flutter eerily, the tungsten lamp nearby casting long shadows on the tiled floor.

Tobio tosses and turns over his bed. He sits up. He grabs his phone over his pillow and unlocks it. He stares at the blank note on his phone screen, scratching his head. He sighs.

Hinata eats a lot of rice, Tobio types. He likes tamago kage gohan. He prefers homemade food.

His thumb skitters over the screen. He types and erases, then types and erases again. It takes him over a minute before he settles with keying in two sentences: Hinata is well-liked by girls. He doesn't notice.

 

~O~

 

Day 14; 16 Days Remaining

 

...

 

He runs for two hours, aimlessly, down the roads he's never been before. But with each step and staggered breath, the prickly feeling under his skin doesn't ease. Tobio gnashes his teeth and runs faster.

He reaches his limit when he arrives at a riverside park where linden trees dot the open fields and solar-powered buildings obscure the view of the mountains. He presses his palm against the tree trunk for support, gasping for air. An elderly couple sitting on a wooden bench nearby gapes at him in concern.

They're right. Don't overdo it, Tobio thinks. Remember last year. He's not supposed to make the same mistake twice. If he does, then there's something wrong with him.

There's nothing wrong with him.

He brushes his fringe off his forehead and squints at the bright horizon. It must be nine o'clock already. He takes out his phone to check, and he's only twelve minutes off his estimate.

Tobio goes to sit on a bench far away from the elderly couple. He slumps against the bench, feeling awful. He wants to hurl, but his stomach is empty.

He stares at the thinning mist over the mountains and his eyelids flutter shut.

 

*****

June 21, 2013
Natori, Miyagi
Summer

 

...

 

"This has got to stop," Hinata declared.

Tobio, who had been dragging the ball rack near the net post, looked up. "What?"

Hinata stopped by his side and shoved a letter over Tobio's face. It had a pastel blue envelope with a sticker of a flower.

"Ugh," Hinata groused as Tobio took the letter gingerly. "I'm not your messenger."

Tobio placed the letter in the pocket of his gym shorts. "Then stop giving them to me." He gave Hinata permission to throw them away or do whatever long ago.

Hinata's expression turned furious. "I can't see why they even bother. You don't even read them. "

"Tell them that then."

"Tell them yourself!"

"I already did!" Tobio could feel a vein on his temple sticking out. "Shut up. Do you want to practice or not?"

Hinata glowered up at him, and Tobio thought for a moment that he was going to say no and walk out. But with a hiss, Hinata grabbed a ball from the rack and stomped towards the end line.

Tobio rolled his eyes hard at the ceiling. What's his problem? "Oi, get ready! I'll come at you fast!"

Hinata waved his fist in the air in circles. "I'm always ready!"

Tobio scoffed. "Throw it!"

Hinata jogged, and before he reached the attack line, he threw the ball in a wide arc. Tobio got in position and, without a warning, tossed the ball hard and fast to the other end of the court. He heard a vicious smack before he could turn to see Hinata landing on his feet.

"Toss wherever you can, to any zone," Hinata said. "I'll hit them."

Tobio nodded once.

 

...

 

Hinata had to get home for an early dinner with his family, so they lock up when the sun had almost set.

They walked home together. As they did, Hinata's phone vibrated every once and a while. He read the messages, and sometimes he would grin as he typed out a reply. Sometimes he would laugh for almost a minute. Tobio observed without comment.

Hinata would then chirp about it being a relief that the vice-principal allowed the sports clubs, specifically the volleyball team, to use the gym during weekends. "More time for practice!" he said, swinging his arms wildly at his side. "I wish the whole team could've made it today."

Almost everyone had plans: Ennoshita and the rest of the third-years had to attend a one-day seminar about university. Yamaguchi was busy with class 2-4 doing the school festival preparations, and Yachi was on a rare vacation with her mother in some remote island paradise. Tsukishima wouldn't come if Yamaguchi and Yachi couldn't make it. The budding first-years were reluctant to show up when most of the upperclassmen were out.

But this was just for today. On Monday, they'd have practice.

Tobio repeated that thought out loud, and Hinata grinned at him. "Yeah!" he said. "And then we go to Tokyo!"

"Mhmm."

"Last chance to play against Kenma again. Let's make it to nationals! Both Interhigh and Spring Interhigh!"

"Of course."

Hinata's phone vibrated again, and Tobio watched as Hinata cackled over the screen and sent back a series of emoticons.

"I wonder what's for dinner today." Hinata was buzzing, and his bike rattled with him. "Mom should've made my favorites—ahh, maybe she made us mizutaki! That'd be awesome! Dad loves it too!"

Something brutish purred in Tobio's chest. "Your dad's home?"

Hinata cheered a yes. "Just this weekend. He'll be gone again for work at the ports in Yokohama," he said. "But aaahh, today was already amazing! And now it'll be even better!"

Earlier this morning, Hinata's foul mood indicated otherwise. But Tobio wasn't going to complain.

They reached that part of the road where Hinata had to make a right, and Tobio had to move on.

"Bye, Kageyama!" Hinata said. "If we have leftovers, I'll bring them for you!"

Tobio wanted to hurl something at him. "I'm not a dog out for scraps!"

"Yeah, maybe, but you always eat them anyway!" Hinata said, grinning after. "See you! Meet me at lunch on Monday!"

Tobio shot him a furious look, and Hinata only laughed, wheeling his bike by his side. Tobio stood and glared at Hinata's back until it was no longer possible to see it at this distance.

He came home to an empty house, his footsteps echoing in the living room, and Tobio was reminded of the reason for his seething envy. His stomach growled. He wanted to eat mizutaki as well.

He loomed before the sleek dining table with five vacant chairs and frowned.

Tobio wanted a lot of things.

Tobio went up to his room and shed his bag. He'd take a bath first and then cook. Just some egg rolls and takikomi gohan. Nothing special, even though it was a good day, like Hinata said.

He glanced at the calendar and saw that it was, indeed, Hinata's birthday. Hinata deserved to eat mizutaki with his family today, unlike Tobio. He took a red marker and crossed the date.

He chucked the letter at the bottom drawer and went into the bathroom.

 

*****

 

Tobio is being jostled into wakefulness. He opens his eyes abruptly and sees a young woman with an upturned nose and green eyes. She has her blond hair sleeked back into a high ponytail.

The skin on Tobio's face stings. The sun is almost at its peak. How long has he been asleep?

The woman studies his face with worry. "?"

Tobio nods and gets on his feet quickly. Forgetting himself, he bows. "." It's cowardly and unbecoming of him, but he starts running away from her.

When he's put a considerable distance between him and the park, Tobio slows into a jog until his pace peters into a walk. He can take his time going home. He's not in a hurry. There's no volleyball game today.

As soon as he thinks it, his fingers itch. He wants to play. He needs to. He needs to be on the court and out of his head.

Tobio thinks of Hinata, but it doesn't calm him. Preparing a plan of action for the coming of his long-time rival isn't soothing his nerves—it's now doing the opposite. Does this mean he's ran out of memories to remember? Ideas to generate? He doesn't know where he's going with this anymore.

He glances up at the street signs and takes a right.

 

...

 

Thankfully, it's Leone who opens the gates for him. "Tobio?" He looks shocked and bewildered.

Tobio peers down at his clothes. He's dressed normally. He cleaned up as soon as he got home before coming here, but he still must have appeared out of sorts. That, or because he hadn't called beforehand. He probably should've done that.

He inwardly curses. He keeps on making these rookie mistakes. What the hell.

"Sorry," Tobio says. "I should've called."

"No, no, it's fine!" Leone swings the door wide and smiles at Tobio over his shoulder. "If you can forgive the mess, you're welcome to stay over as long as you like."

The carpet is matted with LEGO bricks and magazine cut-outs of famous people in fancy trousers and dresses. A damp-looking towel is draped over the couch.

The television is blaring in the background to a kid's show, but no one's watching it.

Leone follows his gaze. "Finally finagled my youngest son to take a shower when you came," he says, shutting it off with a remote. "Talk about good timing."

Leone motions for Tobio to follow him to the dining area. He takes out a pitcher and gives Tobio a glass of water. He then hands Tobio an energy bar before taking one for himself.

"Thank you," Tobio mutters, tearing open the wrapper.

"Oh, don't mention it," Leone says brightly. "I wasn't expecting you to turn up so quickly after my offer. Makes me feel loved and wanted, alright."

Tobio blushes. "Leone-san." He shakes his head and corrects himself, "Mister Leone, you know where to take people here in the city, right?"

Leone puckers his lips. "I don't believe I follow."

How to explain... "I have a, uh, former teammate from Japan who will be here in a few days. I—I don't know where to take him here in Trento," Tobio explains in a mix of Italian and English. He hopes Leone understood him.

Leone blinks rapidly before saying, "Wait. You have a friend coming here? Did I get that right?"

More or less. Tobio nods. He drinks his water.

"And you want him to see the sights? In Trento?"

"Yes."

"How long will he be staying?"

"Three days." Hinata messaged him last night about it. "From May 12th."

"Oh, that's not too far from now." Leone pauses and then chuckles. "You look nervous. You two aren't that close?"

"I haven't spoken to him in two years," Tobio says. "Ever since I... I don't know what he'll want to see."

Leone takes a longer time to answer, a contemplative expression on his face. He scratches his brown, bushy eyebrow with a finger. "Ahh. Well... If you two haven't spoken for a long time and he's flying out here to see you, then you guys must be closer than you think." He then frowns and shrugs. "I wouldn't think of coming to a foreign country just to meet with someone I haven't talked to for so long."

Tobio can think of a reason: "He's a dumbass."

Leone barks out a surprised laugh. "Ahh, is he now? Well then." He pulls out his phone and opens the browser. "Can you tell me what he's like?"

This time, when Tobio opens his mouth, his throat isn't as dry. The words flow out freely.

 

...

 

Tonight, Tobio writes more than a dozen new notes. Talking with Leone made him recall a lot more than he thought he could dredge up from his brain, and it excited him. He's back on the scoreboard. He hasn't lost this yet.

Manically, he jots down all the kinds of food he remembers Hinata liked best. Like mizutaki and tonkotsu ramen. Hinata likes sweets. He prefers ice cream more than chocolate bars. He loves fermented side dishes. He hates burdock root.

His face goes red when he's angry. He stomps his feet when he gets pissed off.

He can ride his bicycle without touching the handlebars.

His favorite color is yellow.

Tobio stops writing and rubs his face, which feels terribly warm. He loosens the drawstring of his hoodie.

He writes again. Hinata's parents live apart, but his dad comes to visit for his birthday. He pins it on the wall.

He adds another: Hinata's birthdays are good summer days.

 

~O~

Day 15; 15 Days Remaining

 

...

 

His Plan B was to let Hinata decide where to go. He realizes now that it was a terrible idea. Tobio can figure this out by himself... and with Leone's assistance.

His phone's navigation app leads him in front of a movie house. Tobio triple-checks if he is in the right place. He then shoves his phone in his front pocket and lets himself in.

 

*****

March 4, 2015
Natori, Miyagi
Spring

...

 

The acceptance notices had started pouring in. The latest was Yachi's; she had sobbed in joy about it with Hinata and Yamaguchi earlier, which confused Tobio a little. He knew Yachi was going to get in. Everyone in the volleyball team foresaw it too. She got them all those club donations because of her posters.

Tobio got his own kind of acceptance letter two weeks ago. He was scouted by three V-League teams from separate divisions. He's still weighing his options upon Ukai-san and Takeda-sensei's advice. His sister would be coming home later from her trip to Istanbul—maybe she had an opinion. He could ask her later.

"I think the Adlers need you more," Hinata said as they passed the nikuman shop. "Aren't they, what, at the bottom of division one right now?"

Tobio wrinkled his nose. "Shouldn't I be going for the strongest team?" he reasoned.

Hinata hummed. "Yeah, but wouldn't it be so badass to get a team like that to shoot up at the standings and win it all in the playoffs?"

"I guess," Tobio murmured.

"Besides!" Hinata said, a skip in his step. "You said Ushijima-san would be playing there next season. You could team up with Japan's superace!" He shivered in what seemed to be excitement. "Gah, I'm so jealous! I want to play too!"

Tobio frowned. From what he knew, Hinata hadn't gotten any offers to play in the league. Or maybe Hinata did, but he wasn't sharing it with Tobio. He frowned even more at that.

"So hurry the hell up," Tobio said. He took a nikuman from the paper bag and ate it.

Hinata scoffed. "Ha! Are you jealous that I'll be in Brazil? The ultimate volleyball paradise?" His jaw then dropped. "Oh, man! What if I meet Gabriel de Freitas while I'm there? Maybe I should get a gazillion autographs!"

Tobio clicked his tongue in annoyance. "I'm not jealous," he lied. "And you should just stay put. Don't bother anyone, dumbass. And don't go gallivanting in the city and go practice more. And you shouldn't befriend random strangers while you're there—"

Hinata laughed. "You've already said all that last week," he remarked.

"You might forget," Tobio said. "Dumbass."

"I won't, jeez! And get a new line!" Hinata shoulder-checked him, and Tobio flicked his cheek. "So like I said, Kageyama! I think you should join the Adlers and make them stronger. Their jerseys would look terrible on you though. I guess that's the downside."

Tobio glared at him. "I don't need your input." But he would think about it.

Hinata grinned and dug his hands in his pockets. "Hey, Kageyama."

"Mhmm?"

"Do you want to watch a movie?"

"With you?"

Hinata snorted mightily. "Why would I be asking if I wanted to watch by myself?" he said. His expression looked painfully earnest. "Do you want to?"

Involuntarily, Tobio swallowed. "Like in a movie theater?"

"Yeah! I was supposed to wait for Zero Gravity to come out on DVD, but there's a place uptown that's selling tickets for it at half the price! I don't know why though, but they were talking about it in class earlier. So do you wanna go?"

Tobio ducked his head as panic welled up in his throat. He wanted to run suddenly. So he said, "I'm going to go out for a run tonight. We didn't have practice today. It's going to take longer."

"Oh," Hinata said softly. He pulled his gaze to the skies. "Sure. Okay."

Then, Tobio thought of something. "And my sister's coming home later."

"Ahh! Wait, you have a sister?"

"Yeah. Older. She doesn't stay with us."

"Oh. Okay." Hinata smiled. "I didn't know you had a sister, Kageyama-kun."

"Now you do." Tobio grunted. "So..."

Hinata continued smiling. His cheeks looked red at the effort. "It's fine, Kageyama," he said. "Hmm. I wonder if Natsu would like to see an action movie... Oh, hey! Did you watch the Red Falcons game with the Green Rockets last night?"

Tobio gratefully latched onto that topic change. "Of course I did."

 

*****

 

The movie was terrible. Tobio's eyes glazed over all the CGI, and he didn't understand where the plot was going. Some of the moviegoers were laughing at some scenes, but since it's in English with Italian subtitles, Tobio didn't get the nuances of the jokes.

He's not going to sit through that again, even if Hinata really wanted to go see that fantasy-action film. This one's a bust.

So he goes home feeling a little dispirited, and he wonders if Hinata watched that Zero Gravity movie by himself. Maybe he hadn't. He hadn't heard him talk about it to anyone within Tobio's earshot. He finds that he doesn't want Hinata to watch movies alone.

Tobio peels off his jacket as he takes out the post-its from the drawer. It's already half its original width. Yet he still has no idea where to take Hinata in the city.

He lets out one harsh exhale. He can't give up though. He writes, Hinata likes action movies. The really popular American ones.

He scribbles on another sheet. Hinata only asks once. From what he can recall, Hinata hadn't offered to see a movie with Tobio again.

 

~O~

Day 18; 12 Days Remaining

 

...

 

Leone must have said something to the rest of their team; Tobio's phone has been blowing up non-stop since yesterday with his teammates sending him links to travel guides and suggestions on what to do around the city. It's a tad overwhelming. He's turned off his phone for the time being.

Today, Tobio limits himself to running for an hour and a half at a measured pace, not wanting a repeat of last time. He can go to the gym later when it's not enough. He skitters to a stop when he reaches a glass building with steep, sloping steel roofs mimicking the mountain escarpments behind it. He's jarred by the striking familiarity. Where has he seen this place again?

After a moment of indecision, he turns on his phone and scrolls up the semi-active chat he's deigned to open since a year ago. It's the LINE group chat Yamaguchi made for the five of them: himself, Tobio, Hinata, Yachi, and Tsukishima. It takes a while for him to parse through the text and images until he sees what he's looking for.

It was Yamaguchi who sent it. Kageyama! Tsukki mentioned there's a great science museum there in your club's home base! Mind telling us what it's like?

He sent a photo with his text. Tobio clicks on it. Sure enough, it's the exact same building. The MUSE Science Museum.

Tobio scrolls down, and he flinches when he finds he typed out a reply: Okay.

Not a minute later, Tsukishima replied as well. Save your breath, Yamaguchi. I doubt the King would even venture to set his royal foot inside. The substance of the exhibits will be lost on him.

Hinata then sent a sticker of a striped cat rolling on the floor in laughter.

Tobio shuts his phone again and looks at the building. That bastard was right, in a way; Tobio hasn't ever been inside this museum. He may have ran past it, once.

He muses if he can take Hinata here. Will he even like it? Science wasn't Hinata's greatest subject back in high school. To be fair, it wasn't Tobio's either.

Tobio turns around and takes the roundabout way home.

 

*****

November 28, 2018
Sendai, Miyagi
Autumn

 

...

 

"When will you be starting, Tsukishima-kun?" Yachi said.

Tsukishima paused from drinking his sake. "Mid-March. I'm still finishing up my internship in our university's invertebrate museum."

Yachi nodded enthusiastically. "Mhmm! Sounds perfect for you!"

Tsukishima shrugged in thanks.

A young man with a brown waist apron came to serve them slices of ayu with knotweed dips. The five of them murmured their thanks as he bowed and left.

"Hinata," Yamaguchi said with a laugh, gesturing at the three empty bottles of sake at Hinata's side of the table. "You really must have learned how to drink properly in Brazil."

Hinata waved his hand in a vague circular motion and belched. "It's all about pacing!" he chirped. "But I didn't drink much, not really. I just went along with my friends most of the time."

"Smoke's coming out of your ears, Hinata."

"No, it's true!"

Yamaguchi smiled warmly. "Just keep drinking as much as you want," he said. "It's on me."

"You should make the King and the court jester with the beach tan treat you, Yamaguchi," Tsukishima muttered. "It's not like they're scrambling for money."

Tobio narrowed his eyes, while Yamaguchi elbowed Tsukishima. "I invited all of you here, and it's my late birthday celebration," Yamaguchi said easily. "Ahh! Speaking of money―did I hear them right, Hinata? Did Kozume-san sponsor you in Rio?"

This was news to Tobio. He glanced to his left where Hinata's slumped against his chair. He had discarded his team jacket about an hour ago, so Tobio could clearly see Hinata's black shirt sleeves snug around his arms.

"He did," Hinata said, sounding a little embarrassed. "I'm really lucky."

"Woah," Yamaguchi said. Even Tsukishima looked a bit awestruck. "Talk about having friends in high places."

"I actually watched some of Kodzu―I mean, Kozume-san's videos," Yachi said. At the boys' dumbfounded looks, she said, quite loudly, "They're very interesting! Plus, he plays games that have really good graphics. You should watch them!"

Yamaguchi cackled as Tsukishima commented wryly, "Right. It's the state-of-the-art visuals we should be watching them for."

"I could set you and Kenma up for a date or two." Hinata winked. "Just say the magic word, Yachi-san!"

Yachi squeaked. "I wasn't..." She didn't get to finish her sentence because Hinata was doubling over at his seat, hiccuping as he did, and in turn, Yachi started laughing as well. Their asynchronous giggling was infectious enough that Yamaguchi began snorting and Tsukishima rolled his eyes and smiled tinily. Tobio felt it too, that distinct lightness bubbling up in his chest. It might have been the alcohol causing everything to sound funny.

This whole situation was a little funny. But.

"Your head's lolling already, Your Highness," Tsukishima said suddenly.

Hinata's hand grasped Tobio's arm. His palm was hot. Tobio blanched and curled away from him.

Hinata's eyes widened as he retracted his hand. "Are you okay, Kageyama?"

I'm fine, Tobio wanted to say, but his mouth wouldn't cooperate. His tongue flopped uselessly.

"Don't puke, Kageyama!" Yamaguchi exclaimed.

As if on cue, Tobio dipped his head and hurled at his feet.

 

...

 

Tobio laid his head against the tree bark. As he looked up at the starless sky, he could feel his mind clearing up bit by bit. Yamaguchi and Yachi had stayed back at the izakaya and apologized profusely on Tobio's behalf, while Hinata was in the washroom, scrubbing Tobio's shoes clean.

Tobio sighed in frustration. That's going to be the last time he'd drink.

"You probably shouldn't have done that."

Tobio straightened and glared at the blond man. "Sorry," he gritted out.

Tsukishima said, "If you were going to try and compete with Hinata in drinking, then maybe see for yourself first whether you can handle it."

"I wasn't―"

"You do idiotic things upon reflex," Tsukishima said dully. "Unfortunately, I've known you two long enough to notice."

Tobio pursed his lips. Maybe he had knocked back his drinks at the same rapid pace Hinata did. He poured and drank, then poured and drank again. How many had he downed again?

"Sorry," he said, more sincere this time.

Tsukishima made a disgusted face. "So. Italy, huh. Guess an offer came at the right moment," he said quietly.

"Hah?"

"Why are you running away, King?"

Tobio doubled back, as if shot. His heart thumped wildly in his chest. "I'm not!" There's nothing he's running away from, even. What the hell was this bastard talking about?

"Alright. No need to deny it so much if you really aren't," Tsukishima said. With that, he turned his back on Tobio and checked his phone.

Tobio reeled in the new, profound silence, glowering at his borrowed slippers. This was definitely going to be the last time he'd come out for a drink again.

 

*****

 

Tobio sits on the bed for a full minute before laying back down on the mattress. He stares up at the light on the ceiling, unblinking, before resting an arm over his eyes.

He's not running away, Tobio thinks. Maybe. Not really. Who would ever turn down a chance to play in the most prestigious league in the volleyball world? Despite what Tsukishima thinks, Tobio isn't stupid.

Hinata's concerned face shimmers in Tobio's mind's eye. Are you okay, Kageyama? he had asked.

Tobio finally releases the shaky breath he's been holding. "No," he admits in a whisper. His heart is aching as painfully as his throat clenches.

He can't make himself move to his desk and write a note. He'll write tomorrow. He's too tired.

Hinata beats me at drinking, he considers, before succumbing completely to sleep.

 

~O~

Day 19; 11 Days Remaining

 

...

 

Sure enough, Tobio gets a fever.

It's probably been a long time coming. The bad thing is he hasn't had a fever in years—he's out of practice dealing with the stunningly excruciating headaches and all kinds of fluids trying to seep out of every orifice. When he coughs, it's like he's being rammed against the wall.

It takes his entire being to peel himself off from the sheets and prowl to his kitchen. He gets a glass and blearily looks for paracetamol in the medicine jar. He finds twelve tablets; they expire in a month from now. Tobio takes a chance and swallows one down with water.

Eat, he orders himself. He flounders at the cupboards until he finds saltine crackers in a round tin. Tobio nibbles on three as he saunters to the couch. He passes out there.

 

...

 

When he comes to be, the sunlight that filters through the curtains is weak, barely there. Tobio doesn't feel that much better, but he's gained considerable strength. The couch is damp with his sweat.

After eating his leftover fried fish and a bowl of rice, Tobio sheds his soaked shirt as he goes back to his room. He then throws it in the hamper before rummaging in his drawers to put on a new one. He opens his phone to see what time it is. It's almost six in the evening. He slept for almost twelve hours.

Suddenly, his phone vibrates. It's a call from an unknown number.

Tobio accepts it. "Hello?" he croaks out in English.

"Ei, Kageyama-kun!"

Tobio freezes. "Hinata?"

"Yeah, it's me!" Hinata says. "Jeez, I've been trying to get to you since yesterday. Why'd you turn your phone off?"

"I... I forgot to charge it," Tobio fibs.

Hinata finds that amusing at least. "Well, you just have to stick it in the socket next time, Grandpa," he says. "I'm in Milan right now with Natsu. We're about to have an early dinner. She's ordering right now with her fancy Italian. We're in this fantastic place with a live band playing. Can you hear? Man, the food out here's kinda hard to get used to at first. But I gotta get myself some more fresh tomatoes from here. They're so sweet! It's unreal!"

"Yeah," Tobio murmurs. He settles into bed. Fresh tomatoes, he tries to remember.

"I ordered this drink yesterday that said it was Americano," Hinata continues, his words blurring in his excitement. "It came with my sandwich—panino! Right. Thanks, Natsu—and I thought it was coffee!"

"It's not," Tobio says. He wipes the perspiration off his forehead with the back of his hand.

Hinata snickers. "I didn't want to drink it at broad daylight, so I had someone drink it for me. Luckily, they didn't think I was rude. I honestly didn't know it was a cocktail. And you didn't stop me."

That last sentence must've been aimed at his sister. Tobio hears a female voice chuckle at the other end of the line. "You should've asked," Tobio says.

"Yeah," Hinata says. "You okay, Kageyama?"

"Hmm?"

A pregnant pause. "You sound like death," Hinata then clarifies.

"I'm fine," Tobio answers. He means it this time. "Is your food there yet?"

"Oh, not yet."

Maybe Hinata will keep talking then. Tobio closes his eyes. "What did you get?" he mumbles, curling up beneath the covers.

"Ahh!" Hinata says. "Natsu got us this platter with loads of weird cheese and salami, and..."

 

*****

September 4, 2013
Natori, Miyagi
Early Autumn

...

 

"I don't think you're supposed to be doing that."

Tobio halted. "I'm not doing anything," he muttered.

"You were about to. Obviously." After a few squeaky footsteps, Hinata came into view. He glanced at the volleyball in Tobio's hands, then back at Tobio's face. "I heard you tell Ukai-sensei yourself. One more week, right?"

Tobio narrowed his eyes. "I was just going to dribble it against the wall," he said.

"Liar!" Hinata said. "You were gonna do a run-up for a serve." He took the ball from Tobio, not so gently. "And you always yap at me for being so reckless."

"Well, you are!" Tobio snapped back.

Hinata threw the ball away, with enough force for it to smack soundly against the wall of the opposite end of the gym. "Buy me meat buns," he then demanded.

"For what?"

"For stopping you from doing something stupid."

"No." Tobio turned away and grabbed his school bag from the floor.

Three weeks. This was the longest time Tobio had gone without volleyball. He hadn't been part of most of the practice matches leading up to Interhigh. He hadn't run. He hadn't lifted anything. He tried so desperately to fix himself, to cut the time he needed to heal, but nothing was working.

He was going mad from longing. The emotional ache from not being able to touch the ball was more unbearable than the blinding pain he had first felt on his shoulder. He wanted to train. He wanted to play. He wanted to win. How dare Hinata stop him from doing what he loved the most?

Tobio had never hated Hinata more than this moment. He hated Hinata so much for stopping him. He hated that Hinata's right.

He was halfway to the school gates. From behind him, he could hear the spokes of a bike rattling, then Hinata's footsteps, muffled yet distinct. "Quit fucking following me!" Tobio snarled.

Hinata jogged to his side. "Buy me meat buns and eat with me, then I will!"

"I'm not buying you anything!"

"Then I'll treat you today, so you owe me next time!"

"Next time? How the hell would that be a 'treat'?"

"Fine! You won't owe anything so just come to Sakanoshita with me! You're hungry, aren't you?"

Tobio's eyes began to sting and well up distressingly. He glared at the clouds. One deep inhale, and, "You're not my fucking nanny," he eventually said.

Surprisingly, Hinata laughed at that. "Who said I was? It's not like you need one," he said. "No one could boss you around as much and as hard as yourself."

"Then prove it," Tobio said. "Stop following me."

"I can't."

"Why the hell not?"

"'Cause it'd mess me up."

That made Tobio skid to a stop. He whipped his head to Hinata, who had frozen as well. "What," Tobio said flatly.

For once, Hinata didn't speak. His expression was frighteningly unreadable. His grip on the handlebars was tight.

They stood there for roughly a minute, just staring at each other, until Tobio clicked his tongue and went ahead. Whatever Hinata meant by that, he wasn't going to elaborate, and Tobio wouldn't be able to yank it out of him in his current state. He didn't feel like pressing. His ears felt hot with fury and embarrassment.

"Hmm," Hinata ventured. "Maybe you wouldn't want to see Ukai-sensei right now."

Tobio ignored him.

"If that's the case then let's eat somewhere else. I know a place that serves great tonkatsu!"

Tobio gritted his teeth.

"How about curry rice? You love that, right?"

Tobio hated Hinata so much. "Buy me three servings," he said.

As expected, Hinata saw the opening and he took it with zeal. He grasped Tobio's arm—lightly, considerately.

Tobio's chest tightened as his anger went down a notch.

Hinata tugged him again. "Let's go." He grinned up at Tobio.

Tobio went with him.

 

*****

 

"The district is really pretty at night! There's a canal next to the shopping street, and it was like, glittering, you know? From the yellow lights of the buildings!"

"Mhmm."

"Maybe we can go there again before the sun sets... You sure you're not sick, Kageyama?"

"I'm sure." Tobio takes another bite of the cracker as he sticks a note: Hinata likes margherita pizza.

"Alright. 'Cause I'll—"

"No."

"What?"

"Don't say something stupid like you'll come here right now if I said I was sick," Tobio says wryly. He sticks another note: Hinata finds old cathedrals boring. "I'll slam the door to your stupid face."

A bout of silence, before, "You seriously won't let me in?"

"No."

A breathless laugh courses through the line. The taut knot in Tobio's gut loosens at the sound of it. "Oh wow, you really do sound better now," Hinata says.

"I am." Tobio's headache is almost gone. "I'm not sick."

"Okay! If you're sure!"

Tobio almost sighs. Hinata's like a dog with a bone. He hasn't forgotten, but he hasn't had that brand of persistence aimed at him for the longest time. "You're seeing more of the city again tomorrow. Go to sleep."

"Yessir!"

"I'm hanging up."

"Alright! See you soon, Kageyama!"

Tobio frowns as he hears the line click. He puts his phone away and rests his head on his desk.

 

~O~

Day 20; 10 Days Remaining

 

...

 

He checks his temperature again. He's at 37.8°C. He doesn't have a headache anymore at least. He doesn't feel nauseous as well. Those are good signs.

Tobio supposes he ought to be glad that he just has a measly fever. It's not as bad as when he sustained a severe shoulder sprain during his second-year in high school. And it's definitely not as terrible as last year, when Tobio threw out his back from powerlifting every day in their club's gym.

It's not that he's constantly testing his body's limits. It's not that hasn't been heeding his trainers' advice either. It's that during the off-seasons, Tobio doesn't have anything better to do but train. It's doubly harder when Tobio's having one of those days, when he's plagued with too much energy and too many thoughts. He'd get that obstinate, staggering need to exhaust himself to feel better.

Bodies age and tire. And so do minds and hearts. They can weaken and let things in. Volleyball is good for staving off the haunting sadness that creeps into his days. When he was younger, it used to be enough.

He's twenty-five now, though. He's met a lot of people. He came to care for a few, enough to call them his friends. He's far from them, far from family, far from home. Seemingly inconsequential things can now gnaw on him, especially when he has nothing and no one to fill his days.

He was more of a monster before. But now that Tobio feels more lonely and human, he needs more than volleyball to keep himself together. He doesn't know whether it means he's growing feeble, or he's just gotten smart enough to recognize what he's had all along.

But if he's grown to truly miss someone, then that must mean he's no longer alone.

 

*****

November 17, 2018
Sendai, Miyagi
Autumn

...

 

It seemed like the arm-wrestling showdown would have to wait. Most of the Karasuno High Boys' Volleyball team had been able to come and watch the Adlers vs. Black Jackals game, and so Takeda-sensei did a few calls and invited everyone to an impromptu reunion at an okonomiyaki restaurant downtown.

Their table was packed and overflowing with food, and Tobio sat next to Hinata. It was like nothing had changed.

Hinata's hair was still wet at the ends from the quick shower. Tobio tugged at his own hair self-consciously, hoping he's not dripping anywhere.

That didn't stop Sugawara from coming over to their side and ruffling them. "My adorable kouhais are all grown up!" he cheered. "Look at you barraging all your hundred percent serves to this guy, you insolent punk," he said to Tobio. "And you!" he shouted at Hinata. "Who taught you to be all sneaky, huh? That fake spike you did in the first set? That was wild!"

Hinata grinned cheekily. "No one can be as wild as you, Suga-san!"

Sugawara dunked Hinata's head and guffawed. "Damn straight!"

"I can't believe people actually let their kids near this guy," Azumane muttered to Sawamura. Sawamura could only laugh and shake his head.

"Yo, Kageyama!" Tanaka—the male Tanaka—yelled from the other end of the table. There's ketchup on his left cheek. "Can you sign a t-shirt for me later? My niece wants an autograph!"

Tobio nodded quickly. "Yes."

Shimizu—now a Tanaka also, but Tobio decided to mentally call her Shimizu for simplicity's sake—wordlessly handed Tanaka a napkin as she broke apart her okonomiyaki into pieces. Tanaka smiled and took it from her gratefully.

Hinata conversed with Yamaguchi and Tokita who sat directly across them. He's sharing how he broke into a sweat when Nicolas Romero approached him after the game. As he talked and gestured animatedly, his shoulder kept on hitting Tobio, their arms brushing frequently. Tobio's skin prickled, his temper flaring at every contact.

"Oi, quit hitting me with your bony elbows," Tobio griped. "I'm trying to eat here."

Hinata did not appreciate being interrupted from retelling another one of his epic bathroom tales. "Ugh, jeez, you're so delicate now, Yamayama," he grumbled. "No wonder your fans call you Plum Fingers."

"What did you say?"

Hinata laughed, spewing bits of okonomiyaki on Tobio's face.

That's it. Tobio threw down his chopsticks.

The arm-wrestling match commenced.

 

*****

 

Tobio wakes up when his phone vibrates on his nightstand. He stretches over the bed and clicks the notification open.

Hinata's sent him a picture of castagnole, artfully plated. I bet I can eat a bucket of them! he said.

Tobio's lips quirk. He instantly replies, If you want to get fat, go ahead. Afterwards, he sighs. If anyone told him before he'd be missing his constant feuding with Hinata, Tobio would've laughed. He doesn't feel like laughing now, but he does feel better. His skin isn't as hot as it had been this morning.

He opens a note app and types on his phone, Hinata likes doing these stupid contests with me. He'll write that down on a post-it tomorrow.

 

~O~

Day 21; 9 Days Remaining

 

...

 

The good feeling from last night doesn't last. Tobio wakes up with dead weight in his stomach, and for a crucial minute, he doesn't want to get out of bed. He doesn't want to do anything today.

But he needs to bathe and eat and run and train, so he swings his legs to the floor and sits up.

The last time he felt like this was four years ago. The sensation has been dulled over time. Now that it's back with full force, Tobio will have to rely on muscle memory to get through.

He shuffles to the bathroom and turns on the shower. Well. At least his fever's broken out.

 

*****

March 14, 2019
Sendai, Miyagi
Spring

...

 

"You just looked like you signed your life away."

Tobio glanced up from his teacup.

Miwa gave him another appraising look and said, "You said Trentino's a good club."

"It is," Tobio insisted.

"Explain to me then." Miwa gestured at Tobio's general direction. "What this is. I don't want to deal with this for another day."

"Huh?"

"You're brooding," Miwa said, nose scrunched in distaste. "Like a teenager. Looks wrong on you."

Tobio scowled on instinct. He had just come out from a meeting with his agent, the club executives, and GRH Trentino's representative. After almost three hours of discussion, Tobio finally got to sign the contract. He would be playing for Trentino this coming season. There's still the immigration stuff and all the complicated transfer papers, but thankfully, Tobio didn't have to deal with that.

Miwa worked a block away from the hotel they met at, and she wanted to come out for tea. So instead of going straight home to take a nap, Tobio met with her here. He sighed. "I'm just tired."

Miwa rolled her eyes. "Tobio, I know what your tired face looks like," she said. "You've been acting strange lately." She paused, then amended, "Strange for you."

"What?"

"You've been perfectly bright and perky this past year, little brother, but these past three weeks..."

"What?"

"Is there something in Italy that we should know about?" Miwa asked. "Or... is there something that isn't in Italy that we should know about?"

Tobio gaped at her. His sister was usually direct about things. If she was being intentionally shifty and roundabout, then it must be something serious that she was trying to spare Tobio's feelings. "I'm—I'm happy that I signed," he said as he tried to figure out what answer and emotion Miwa sought from him. "I'm happy the deal went through and that I'm going."

"I suppose. But you were inexorably happy last year. What gives?"

Tobio was. He was inexorably happy. But that wasn't the point.

He's supposed to test his limits, to keep pushing. He's not supposed to stop running.

(Hinata shouldn't be able to catch up.)

Tobio finished his tea to stall. It tasted like rose water, nothing else. He felt nothing else but cold feet.

"I'm nervous. A little," Tobio muttered, shoulders hunching. "It's a different country. Far away." He didn't know anyone there. There wouldn't be any Japanese players. "It'll take some time to adjust."

(How did Hinata do it?)

Miwa sensed his discomfort and thankfully said, "The court and the ball will always be familiar to you, though."

Tobio smiled smally at her. "Yeah. Of course."

"Buy me a slice of matcha cake," Miwa ordered, and Tobio shot his hand up in an instant.

 

*****

 

It's almost midnight. Tobio's running in a well-lit path at least. He's not being stupid about this. His breath comes out ragged though, like he's just learning to run for the first time.

One, two. Exhale. One, two. Exhale.

Why are you running away, King?

Tobio almost staggers at a short gradient in the road. He mutters a curse. There's a noose around his neck that's growing tighter and tighter the more he tries to put more distance—

You were inexorably happy last year. What gives?

Tobio clicks his tongue. He stops under the lamp post, heaving hard. Drops of sweat dribble from his chin, from the slope of his nose.

"I—" Tobio doesn't finish his sentence. He shouldn't be speaking out loud; he's not crazy. Besides, all the words he'll say right now will be pretty meaningless if the person who needs to hear them isn't here.

He walks home. He's succeeded in tiring himself out as planned.

 

~O~

Day 22; 8 Days Remaining

 

...

 

"Tobiiiooooooo! Tobiiiioooooo!"

Tobio pokes his head out from the kitchen in alarm. He rushes to open the front door and finds five Trentino players lurking at the gate.

"!" Gioffre Ricci, the team's serve specialist, greets with a high, sweet voice, waving both of his hands. The rest of the team breaks into a fit of giggles.

Tobio's eyes are round as saucers as he unlocks the gate. "What are you guys—"

"Yo! I heard you've got a VVIP comin' in a week and you're all fretting about it! You're lucky I'm still in town," Binnington says, ruffling Tobio's hair as he brushes past him.

Leone smiles at Tobio sheepishly. "Sorry. You know how these kids are," he whispers.

"Holy—yo! I'm calling favoritism!" Binnington bellows as he enters the living room. "Why'd they get you a bigger space than mine?"

"Johnny, for the love of god, put your dirty fucking shoes back out here, man!" Friedman barks. "This ain't your pigsty!"

Binnington laughs. "Alright, alright, quit bitching." He struts back to the entrance and unlaces his sneakers by the doormat.

Tobio tells Friedman, "I thought you'd be away."

Friedman shrugs. "Just got back from London yesterday. Didn't feel like coming back to Detroit this off-season after all."

"Oh."

Friedman chuckles. "Yeah, yeah, I know you're overjoyed to see me."

Antonello, Ricci, Leone, Friedman, and Binnington all crowd in the living room. Tobio remains frozen by the front door, jaw slack in astonishment.

"Tobio Kageyama." Antonello laughs out loud. "Don't just stand there. If a rowdy group of jerkass friends suddenly comes to see you, what are you supposed to do?"

Tobio's mouth parts even further. The skin on his dry lips cracks open and he tastes blood. He clutches the end of his shirt. "I..."

"Fifth set, Tobio. We're down by one. Blockers spread out in all three zones. Receive's clean, everyone's charging. You're dashing from the left flank, ball's hurtling right and fright." Binnington grins. "What's your toss, man?"

Tobio's frazzled nerves begin to settle. He answers promptly, "A back set to you."

Leone and Ricci chuckle as Binnington grabs Tobio by the arm and puts him in a headlock. "Attaboy, Tobio!" he crows.

 

...

 

They're all crammed in one table in a pizzeria at the center of the city. It's a busy place with servers going up and about and customers piling inside. The dome-shaped ceiling and the soft golden lights make the place feel less claustrophobic.

From the glass windows, Tobio can see Binnington on the phone, gesturing wildly.

"The poor guy's trying to jump out of the minivan," Friedman says. When the rest of the table stares back at him with blank expressions, he elaborates, "Johnny's helicopter mom is on the line. She calls on the regular, even if it's ass o'clock back in Jersey."

"Ahh," Antonello says. "Is that why he's spending the off-season here?"

Friedman scoffs. "Dude's totally a big momma's boy. I'm willing to bet he'll book a flight to Newark as soon as he gets to his apartment."

"Oh, here he comes," Leone says, chuckling, as a harried Binnington enters the restaurant.

"Was that your mom?" Ricci pounces even before Binnington could pull back his chair.

Binnington makes a displeased face at Friedman. Friedman holds up his hands with a laugh.

"Look. Even when you turn forty with a beer gut, mom's word is law," Friedman says cheerfully. "If she tells you to put a gas on it, you gotta do it or there will be hell to pay."

Binnington frowns. "Yeah, I'll think about it," he mumbles sullenly, and Tobio guesses that Binnington will fly back to his hometown in a day or two.

"Dole out your services now to your customer before you go," Leone says, slicing his pizza neatly with a fork and a knife afterwards.

Binnington brightens. "Right!" He swivels his chair to Tobio. "What's he like, Tobes?"

Tobio colors immediately. "Who?" he says.

Binnington does a full-bodied snort. "You know who I mean. Come on, spill your guts out. We're all buddies here, right?"

"Um."

"Dude," Binnington says. "Seriously. I give pretty solid advice." He steadfastly ignores Antonello and Ricci who are snickering on the other side of the table.

Tobio licks his lips. The tang of cherry tomato sauce is strong on his tongue. "He's a high school classmate of mine. We're rivals."

"Really?" Friedman says. "Rivals? Like... like, enemies?"

Leone looks at Tobio in confusion. "I thought you said you were friends."

"They could be both," Ricci says sagely.

"Or more," Binnington says. "Vince here mentioned you guys are, like, gonna reconnect or some shit. So he's coming to see you here, Tobio? And you want us to help you?"

Leone clarifies, "He wanted me to help him, you crazy kid. I messaged you guys for more input, and you just..." He flicks his hand in a circular motion.

"It's fine," Tobio says as he tries to assuage his own embarrassment. "Er, he's a professional volleyball player like us. He plays in Japan."

"Wow. Did you play against him?" Antonello asks.

"For a season."

"How about with him? Besides in high school?"

"In some international events until two years ago. We played in the Nations League and—"

"In the last Olympics," Friedman says. At Tobio's surprised expression, he adds, "I think I know who you're talking about now. We played against you, yeah? Isn't he the tiny Space Jam dude that was subbed in during the fourth set?"

Tobio's eyes widen. The rest of the guys appear just as shell-shocked as he is.

"You know him?" Binnington cries, the pizza on his hand forgotten. The basil from his slice falls back to his plate.

"Not know know," Friedman says. "I just noticed something during that game. Some other guy was about to serve, but he got subbed out and they had an undersized player play opposite. He's hella short, for real—can't even clear six feet, but he jumps like he's six foot ten!"

Tobio can recall that set clearly. If he closes his eyes, he's able to see the towering American blockers on the other side of the net, and Hinata sprinting towards the centerline. It's crisp and clear as a movie scene at the back of his eyelids. "The bronze medal game," he says.

"Yeah. The one we lost," Friedman says with a shrug. "You took the set from us, you and Flubber Feet. I remember 'cause it seemed like you two were Japan's nuclear option."

Antonello quirks an eyebrow. "And you're only bringing that up now?"

"Hey, man. We lost to you guys during the semis, and Tobio's team isn't fond of you either. Didn't want to reopen any wounds," Friedman says. "And I didn't know they used to go to the same high school, obviously. Just that they played insanely well together."

"And you say you're only rivals," Binnington says to Tobio, tone disbelieving. "If you ask me, I ain't gonna take my high school rival out here in the best pizzeria in town. I'm gonna send him to the dumps, is what I'm gonna do."

Leone laughs. "Tobio just has a better sense of propriety than you Americans."

"You wound me, man," Friedman says.

Ricci folds his used napkin into neat squares. "I do get what Johnny's saying," he intones. "I wouldn't go through all this trouble either. But... but if he is your friend, then you can take him here. Or you can go to the mountains. Ride cable cars. That sort of thing."

"You can take him to Lake Garda," Antonello supplies. "Do nature walks."

Ricci eyes him. "Don't you do that with your wife and your dog every summer?"

"It's nice! And the weather's ! Maybe Tobio's friend will appreciate that!"

"Thank you," Tobio says. "I'll consider them well."

"Consider first your relationship before doing a goddamn thing," Binnington says, his light blue eyes narrowing. "Sorry, but I gotta say this. Waffling isn't a good look on you, man."

"Johnny," Friedman says.

"No, he needs to hear this straight out. Who else will fucking tell him? He's only got us here," Binnington says. "Look. I got a teammate back in Loyola who shot himself in the foot, you know what I mean? He was warm to his dream girl like a cozy blanket of ice—"

"What the hell, Johnny? Tobio wouldn't be like that," Antonello says. "Right, Tobio?"

Before Tobio could say anything, Binnington forges on, "Those two are good now, sure, but what I'm saying is the man's got regrets. And I have this great friend back in Central. Awesome guy, showers regularly. But that fuckwit was so busy chasing his own tail that things couldn't start. Like, seriously, Tobes. You're falling somewhere on that spectrum."

Shoulders stiff, Tobio jerks his head. He hears Friedman at his side mumble something indiscernible.

"It's hysterical that a world-class setter like you's got a terrible poker face," Binnington says. "This guy means the world to you, Tobio. I can fucking tell. So put the ball on your court for once and figure out what the hell you want. Ain't nothing crazy. You still have time. Yeah?"

Tobio nods again. He breathes out, "Okay."

Binnington smiles approvingly, and the rest of the guys lean back on their chairs in palpable relief.

"Alright." Binnington slaps his palms together. "I'm putting myself out of commission now. I need a drink. They have bourbon in this place, right?"

 

*****

July 31, 2020
Ariake, Tokyo
Summer

...

 

Tobio wiped his mouth with the front of his shirt as he exited the washroom. He stopped when he saw Friedman walking down the narrow hallway. Friedman stopped too, but then he ambled on and stood by Tobio. He clasped his shoulder with a short squeeze.

"Good game," Friedman said. He sounded like he meant it. "See you back in the city, yeah?"

Tobio nodded. "See you."

Friedman flashed him a tiny smile before passing him.

Team celebrations would start tomorrow. Tobio's honestly looking forward to it; the coaching staff promised an all-day barbecue buffet, and although it wouldn't take away the sting off having finished third instead of first, it's a good enough consolation.

The ride back to their hotel was relatively muted. Beside him, Bokuto Koutarou was napping and snoring. His headphones blasted out loud pop music that Tobio barely recognized. Tobio's got his eyes trained to the window, bone-tired. He fell in and out of slumber.

The staff corralled them to the dining hall, some of them clapping the players on the backs. Tobio got a very enthusiastic smack from the assistant skills coach, who also commented about Tobio's back-to-back service aces in the fourth set.

"You and Hinata-kun broke them, m'boy!" he said. "Excellent all around!"

"Thank you," Tobio replied, bowing, and lumbered ahead.

There were more tables and chairs than people. Tobio took the last seat next to Ushijima. They acknowledged each other with a soundless nod.

Now that the players had gotten food in their stomachs, conversation began with a burst. At their table, Meian and Heiwajima were starting betting pools for the swim team's results. Hinata was at the noisiest table of all, sandwiched between Miya Atsumu and Bokuto. Tobio could clearly hear him getting mercilessly teased about his first televised Olympic interview after the game.

"'Y-yes, ma'am!'" Hoshiumi played back. "'W-we b-burned the roof o-off the place!'"

Hinata squeaked, "S-shut up!"

Boisterous laughter ensued.

"Shouyou, you're supposed to say 'blew'! Not 'burned'!"

"I totally knew what I was supposed to say," Hinata insisted. "But it was my first time! I got tongue-tied!"

Miya laughed. "Why? 'Cuz 'ya saw that cute girl from the track team goin' by behind the camera? We're pros, Shou-kun! We're supposed to be good at handlin' pressure."

"Well, that nice young lady from the taekwondo team yesterday certainly handled the pressure well from you, Miya-kun," Hirugami said. "Seeing how she brushed you off as soon as you opened your mouth."

"Hey!"

"More shrimp tempura, Kageyama?" Heiwajima offered. "I bet you've missed this."

Tobio stopped himself from eavesdropping and mumbled, "Ahh, yes. Please." He held out his plate.

"How's Italy treating you, Kageyama-kun?" Meian asked. "The weather must be rather nice."

"It is," Tobio answered, and before he knew it, he's being drawn into a deep conversation that he could almost block out Hinata's peals of laughter from the neighboring table.

 

...

 

Hoshiumi bid him a cheerful goodnight as he entered his shared room with Ushijima. Tobio smiled minutely and bowed.

He was about to enter his own room when someone smacked his arm.

Tobio jumped back.

Hinata looked at him weirdly before laughing, arm over his stomach. "You should've seen your face, Kageyama," he said when he recovered.

"There's nothing wrong with my face," Tobio said. He peered at the black plastic bag in Hinata's grasp. "What's that?"

"Ice cream!" Hinata said. He jiggled the contents. "Let's have a few."

Tobio glanced at the door. "Heiwajima-san might be sleeping already." Back when Tobio played with the Adlers, he noticed that Heiwajima was a night owl, but maybe...

"Bokuto-san's knocked out too. That's fine! We can eat downstairs. Come on."

Not knowing what else to do, Tobio followed him to the elevator. He stared after the dial as the numbers went down. Hinata hummed to himself absently, tapping a finger on the plastic and making it rustle.

They went to the open parking lot where some men in corporate attire were out for a smoke. He and Hinata gave themselves a considerable distance from the group before sitting on the sidewalk. Hinata splayed his legs on the concrete as he got a melon bar from the bag. Tobio took the chocolate-covered vanilla ice cream bar.

"There's a 7-Eleven just across the street," Hinata said. "I was looking for Salonpas, but then I saw the ice cream. Couldn't resist."

Tobio made a low sound from the back of his throat.

"How's playing volleyball in Italy?"

"It's fine," Tobio said, his answer considerably shorter than the one he gave earlier to Meian.

Hinata seemed to be content with that. He continued eating his melon bar and got another one when he finished, eyes straight ahead.

Tobio could feel himself grasping at straws. "You did okay today," he fumbled out.

Hinata punched his arm. "I was awesome. We couldn't have won without me," he declared.

Tobio squinted. "Without me, you mean."

"I got that straight past the blockers."

"'Cause I tossed perfectly and precisely to you."

"I scored the winning point!"

"Maybe, but I scored three more points than you."

Hinata suddenly fell silent. His gaze went unfocused. After a beat, he said, "Yeah, you did. You were great." He grinned at Tobio crookedly, and Tobio's heart leapt to his throat. "That backset with the A ball to the right was amazing. Where'd you learn that?"

Tobio looked away. "It was a move a teammate in Trentino and I did sometimes." He bit off the last of his ice cream. His teeth ached.

"So it's not an Italian trade secret?"

"What? Why would it be?"

Hinata laughed. "Good to know you've finally learned to share, Stingy-yama."

As a matter of fact, Tobio hadn't. Not really. He wouldn't have come down to this rundown parking lot and glut himself with 200-yen ice cream, if he was so inclined to share someone's company.

"I want to win gold," Tobio said. "I'd do whatever it takes."

Hinata sighed. "Same here." He passed the bag to Tobio.

There's still one left, a red bean ice pop. Tobio took it and tore the wrapper.

"I have to be a starter next time," Hinata said.

"Yeah."

"Four more years... Wow. I'll be twenty-eight by then."

Tobio supposed the senior guys from his grandfather's rec league team were right: time really does fly fast. "You wouldn't be that old, dumbass," he said.

"Still! Both of us aren't getting any younger. We really have to win it all next time. Toss to me again for the final blow, Kageyama!"

Tobio murmured tentatively, "We'll see."

Hinata smirked. He probably thought that Tobio would really toss to him for a critical point in an Olympic gold medal game. He's so sure of Tobio. It pissed Tobio off to no end.

He wanted Hinata's smug grin to die a quick death. He wanted to smash his mouth against Hinata's. He wanted to smother Hinata's lips with his own and wipe that damn, cocksure smile off his stupid, irritating face.

Tobio stood up jerkily. He scrambled up and back, far from the object of his vicious, furious thoughts.

Hinata perked upright. "Kageyama?" He looked searchingly at Tobio's face.

Tobio let his hair fall over his eyes. "Let's go. It's late," he said, curt. Clutching tightly the empty bag in his fist, he walked away.

He didn't wait for Hinata to follow him. He didn't look over his shoulder. When he heard Hinata's footsteps behind him, Tobio had to summon every ounce of energy to keep himself from running.

 

*****

 

Tobio stands before his bedroom wall. Or what it's supposed to be. He can't see it anymore with all the post-its he's amassed for the past twenty-two days, a sunny orchard in Tobio's otherwise pasty plaster wall. He stares at the proof of how much he remembers, at how much he's been fucking with himself the entire time.

Tobio tears down the note that says Hinata and I are good rivals. That one's no longer true. It hasn't been for the longest time. They are the best rivals. Great adversaries. Hinata's that one opponent that would take a lifetime to beat.

But it's not enough.

What are we supposed to be now, Tobio thinks. If we can't be just rivals?

That was how everything started out to be. They had set themselves up as challengers. Fated to be on opposite sides of the court. One has to lose in order for the other to win. That was the deal.

If things between him and Hinata are different now, then what does Tobio have to do? Profess himself to him? Give him everything he has? Make himself breakable, when all his life he's worked so hard to get this strong?

If he tells Hinata, and he scares Hinata off for good, then what? Tobio's certain he wouldn't be able to bring himself to hate that idiot even if he leaves. Tobio would still wait, like he had all those years for Hinata to get better. And how is that fair at all?

What if Hinata doesn't love him back?

Then what?

 

~O~

Day 23; 7 Days Remaining

 

...

 

Tobio fishes out his high school volleyball journals that are stacked neatly at the very secluded corner of his wardrobe. He hadn't wanted to read them, thinking he might have written something embarrassing enough to maim him. But if he's going to adhere to Binnington's advice, then he'll have to consult with his younger self, see how he saw the situation at that time.

He crawls back to his bed and flips through the pages.

The first few entries that have Hinata's name are very... descriptive. About his spiking, his run-up, his blocking. Tobio had criticized Hinata's every move, and he hadn't minced his words. He sounded strict. Harsh. Angry. It's rather jarring to read. He can't recall saying these to Hinata. Strange.

A stubborn waste of space. Too slow to receive, if he even gets to position, fifteen-year-old Tobio had written. He'll never be necessary for us to win.

Tobio's eyebrows pull together. Did I actually say this to him? he muses.

It's even stranger to read Tobio's words barely a month after. Evidently, Tobio's opinion of Hinata as a player hadn't elevated significantly, but he definitely thought of him important in tooling the blockers around.

On May 18, 2012, Tobio wrote, That dumbass can do a fast slide hit. We won a practice match because of it. We'll be difficult to defend against once I get him to hitting with range.

Tobio's lips quirk. He can't believe he managed to sound excited on print.

He skips through the numerous diagrams and the tallies of strengths and weaknesses of the teams he's faced. The things he wrote about Hinata are mostly observations. It's not entirely dissimilar from the orange festival he's got on his wall.

Hinata goes to the bathroom before games.

That idiot screws up a serve every now and then.

He's becoming scrappier.

He jumps higher and better when he's angling to the right.

Tobio flips through his second-year journal. His entries are more extensive, though a bit mortifying. He had a lot to say about Hinata going to Brazil. Tobio blushes as he skims through the thick blocks of sentences. He prays he hadn't said any of these words out loud to Hinata.

His entry on November 19, 2013 went: Hinata's hair has gotten longer. He should cut it. The next day, he wrote, Hinata's hair has the same shade as the maple leaves outside. Maybe it's why he's so noticeable on the court.

That's one reason. Tobio right now can give many others.

In his third-year, he'd written considerably less about Hinata. Come March 2015 and onwards, Tobio hadn't written anything about him at all.

He dashes to his wardrobe and takes out his journals when he was still with the Adlers. He scans through them. He scowls as he flips to read his entry on November 17, 2018. The Adlers vs. Black Jackals game.

No mention of Hinata.

Tobio gathers his journals and places them all at the corner again, hidden away. He's contemplating throwing them out, confused, disheartened and frustrated, when realization dawns on him. He swallows back the lump in his throat.

White Day happens in March.

Tobio inhales deeply, then sighs.

 

*****

March 14, 2015
Natori, Miyagi
Spring

...

 

It looked like it was about to rain. The puffy clouds sweeping the skies were darker than yesterday. Tobio studied them idly as he drank his milk.

They now had seats near the vending machines. Tobio periodically sat there during breaks. That must be why Hinata had found him easily.

"Oi, Kageyama," Hinata called. He was walking purposefully towards Tobio, a familiar-looking square box in his right hand.

In half a second, Tobio recognized where he'd seen that box before. He walked past one male student giving that same thing to a girl just thirty minutes ago.

Chocolates.

Tobio almost dropped his milk carton.

Hinata smiled. "I got something for you." He handed it to Tobio.

Tobio's fingers were frozen stiff. He wanted to speak, but his mouth stayed firmly shut. Sweat broke out of his nape. It's like he's on the court, running to get under the ball to toss. His heart and lungs were working overtime. Is that really...?

His stomach flipped in nervous anticipation.

Hinata peered at him strangely. "You okay?" he said before nestling the chocolates on Tobio's lap. "Well, whatever it is, maybe this would cheer you up."

Tobio's mouth finally worked: "Huh?"

"An admirer from our year wanted me to give this to you," Hinata said. "I told him he should hand it to you himself, but he was really shy. So there." He smiled more encouragingly. "Happy White Day."

Hinata's words only clicked when he sat next to Tobio on the bench.

"An admirer?" Tobio parroted, voice faint.

"Yeah. A guy. Ugh, why are you so popular? With guys, even? Ergh. Anyway, I can't say which class, though. I promised I wouldn't."

Tobio wasn't interested in that at all. Whereas his blood ran hot under his skin a minute ago, everything in him now felt oppressively cold. "Why make you give it to me?"

Hinata groaned to the skies as he stretched his arms and legs. "I know, right? I'm kinda tired of playing the middleman out here—"

"Then why did you take it?"

Hinata whipped his head towards him. "Why are you angry at me?" he said. "You don't want it?"

Tobio didn't. He shoved it back to Hinata's hand. The box looked uneven now; his fingers had made furious dents on one side.

"Can't you just accept these?" Hinata demanded. "It's not like the sender's waiting for an actual answer from you—"

"Didn't you hear me?" Tobio held out. "I said I don't want it."

"Jeez." Hinata glared at him. "Be more of a jerk, Kageyama, and I swear, this would be the last time you'd receive chocolates from anyone."

"Like I give a shit," Tobio spit back. He lied. He did care. He cared so much he had been on the verge of passing out on his seat, his heart aching with want, until everything around him suddenly crashed and burned. That participatory illusion had been too convincing, that Tobio felt something he had never felt before. He felt it so acutely it was a vicious stab to his chest.

That small kernel of joy. Of hope.

If the chocolates were from Hinata, Tobio would have accepted them in a heartbeat. He wouldn't have anyone but Hinata.

What was Tobio supposed to do now with that knowledge?

Hinata seemed ready to punch him. Even though Hinata didn't deserve it, Tobio would've punched him back. A scorching brand of anger welled up inside Tobio, surging to protect his wounded pride.

But Hinata didn't punch him. Instead, he stood up and started walking away, bringing the chocolates with him. He kicked dirt over Tobio's shoes and mumbled mulishly, "See you in class, Bastard-yama."

Tobio sat unmoving on the bench until the bell rang. He was tempted to cut school and go home instead, but he couldn't miss any Japanese literature classes. He's not supposed to fail in his last year. And even though there were no tournaments left, there's still volleyball practice in the afternoon.

It took a while, but he finally got up and dallied back to his classroom.

 

*****

 

Tobio conks the back of his head on the wall.

The main purpose of writing down his thoughts in his journals is to clear his head. That's what Kazuyo taught him. Everything else is just frosting on the cake, Kazuyo had said. If it gives you meaning, a purpose, then I'm glad.

And it does. Writing helps Tobio process his garbled, volleyball-riddled thoughts, and to let them go if he has to.

Binnington's right. Tobio's been running in circles. And no wonder. Hinata Shouyou's obvious exclusion from his volleyball journals has been the proverbial nail in the coffin.

If he had tried to make sense of what they had from the start, would things have been different?

His unwillingness to be honest to himself has been his own undoing. Tobio's got no one else to blame but himself.

 

~O~

Day 25; 5 Days Remaining

 

...

 

After a hard, de-stressing session at the gym, Tobio stops by the stationery store again and buys blue post-it notes. When he's done, he sees that the shop next door is selling bagels. He gets one and eats it as he walks home.

Midway, it drizzles. The mist surrounding the mountain peaks thickens into a fog. Tobio's hoodie and shirt are soaked through when he arrives. He takes a quick, steamy bath and chucks his clothes in the washing machine afterwards.

When he gets back to his room, it's considerably warm. It must be the heat from the bathroom leaking out.

Tobio stands in front of the wall again and takes the pad of sticky notes. His fingers curl tightly around it. He chews on his lower lip and, after a minute, edges forward.

Do it, Tobio orders himself. Write them down.

He scrawls the first thing that comes to his mind: Hinata's laugh doesn't sound annoying. He sticks it right next to the post-it that says, Hinata dresses like he's five.

There's a gaping white spot from where Tobio removed a note two days ago. He patches it with another: Hinata doesn't give up. I like that the most.

When Hinata scores on my toss, I feel incredible. He scratches the last word and writes invincible instead. He adds that too.

The words come out in quick succession. As soon as he writes one down, he sticks it on the wall and writes another thing that crossed his mind barely a second ago. It leaves him with little time to be embarrassed.

He can be mean when he wants to be. He fights back.

He shares his food with me. It feels nice.

When he's not sweaty, his hair smells like cherries.

He can make friends with anyone. I didn't know that was possible until I met him.

He's bad at nicknames. But I like the ones he calls me by.

I like how we used to race each other every morning. I miss it.

It's nice playing with him. It's even greater playing against him.

He makes me better.

Tobio loosens his hold on the marker and glances at the window. It's stopped raining. He gets up to tie the curtains properly and lets the sunshine in.

When he settles back to his desk, the frigid tangle in the pit of his stomach turns into warmth.

Hinata makes me happy. Tobio reddens as he tacks it on the wall.

 

*****

November 17, 2018
Sendai, Miyagi
Autumn

...

 

It was a mistake not to see Hinata off to Rio. It was a mistake not to see him come back to Japan too. Tobio had told Yamaguchi no, but he had the time. He could have.

If he had, perhaps Tobio wouldn't feel like he got bludgeoned in the face when he saw Hinata again an hour before their game.

Earlier, Tobio and Heiwajima had been halted by fans at the side entrances, and they took around ten minutes to finish signing shirts and Vabo-chan plushies. They were taking another route to the locker rooms when Tobio saw Hinata alighting their team bus along with the rest of the Black Jackals. He watched as Hinata openly gawked at the gymnasium, at the enormous V. League signboards, like he's seeing the whole thing for the first time. Tobio knew for a fact that wasn't true—he and Hinata had been here before to watch Division 2 teams battle it out during their third-year. It must be different knowing he'd be playing on center court instead of watching at the stands.

Heiwajima collided with Tobio from behind, breaking Tobio out of his reverie.

"Oomph, oh, Tobio!" Heiwajima said, rubbing his chest. "Why did you stop walking all of a sudden?"

"Ahh, sorry." Tobio sneaked a glance again at the bus before heading to the locker room.

 

...

 

There's a tell-tale warmth in his stomach that wouldn't settle, making Tobio feel all fluttery and ache-y inside. As he filed his nails, his legs kept on jiggling. He knew instantly what this was about, what his body was telling him. It would be rude to pace back and forth, so he stood up and walked out of the locker room to deal with all of his nervous energy.

When he heard a familiar voice singing shamelessly off-tune near the washroom, Tobio had to resist from running. Away or towards. He wasn't sure. But he might as well make himself known, experience just a tiny bit of the recompense he deserved for waiting for this idiot. It had been three years since they last saw each other.

The back of Hinata's head was intensely familiar. Tobio liked that his hair was shorter now. He'd be able to see much of Hinata's face properly. He could smirk at him. Mock him. Look at him as much as Tobio wanted.

Tobio smiled and called out to him with a jibe.

 

~O~

Day 27; 3 Days Remaining

...

 

"So," Leone says as he wheezes, one hand grasping the railings. "You're in love with him."

Tobio tries not to bristle too much at that. "Yeah," he says.

Leone's about to say something when he hacks out a series of dry coughs. "Jesus. Now I know how you can last so long on the court," he wheezes again, tripoding over himself.

"Do you want to stop running?"

"Please. Damn, I feel so old. How's your spine?"

"It's fine." It stopped aching since last year. But his teammates keep on asking, and Tobio's learned that it's just how some people are. "I had a check-up yesterday, and the doctor said it was fine."

Leone throws him a look. "Not a free pass to overwork yourself, got that?"

"Yes."

They sit on the bench atop the hillside overlooking the cityscape. The air around them rises up, a hint of summer in its warmth. At this distance, Tobio can see rows of houses with the old rose walls and starlings crowding on the chimneys.

Leone then says, "Do you have a picture of him?"

Tobio doesn't, but he can always look one up. He unlocks his phone and types Hinata's name in the browser search bar. He clicks on Hinata's roster photo and shows it to Leone.

As soon as Leone sees it, he laughs. "A redhead, huh," he says in delight. "Figures."

Tobio pockets his phone, ears hot. "I don't like him for his hair," he says.

Leone peers at him, his amusement magnified. "I wasn't saying that," he says. "I like this Shouyou kid already. He seems cheerful."

"He is," Tobio says.

"Do you have an idea now where you'll take him?"

"A bit."

"Are you going to tell him how you feel about him?"

Tobio confesses, "Probably not." Not yet.

Leone nods in understanding. "I guess you can take your time with this one." He quirks a smile. "I'm happy for you, Tobio."

Tobio's eyes widen. He doesn't know what there is for Leone to be happy about. But still, he replies, "Uh. Thank you."

Even though both of them are still sweaty, Leone pulls Tobio in a noogie and slaps his back multiple times with a laugh.

 

*****

December 22, 2014
Natori, Miyagi
Winter

...

 

"Kageyama?"

Tobio frowned at Hinata's expression, a mixture of confusion and wariness.

Someone from inside shouted, "Who's at the door, sweet pea?"

"It's my teammate!" Hinata shouted back. To Tobio, he then said, "Why are you here, Kageyama?"

Tobio squinted at him. What the heck did that mean? "You invited me here," he reminded.

Hinata's jaw dropped stupidly. "It's your birthday."

"I know that."

"Where are your parents? Family?"

"Out of town."

"Have you been to the shrine yet?"

"No."

Hinata grabbed his arm and pulled him in without warning. Tobio's left boot got caught on the door frame and he stumbled in. He whacked the back of Hinata's head.

Hinata rubbed the sore spot as he said, "Mom! It's Kageyama's birthday today! I'm gonna take him to the shrine!"

A woman with short, dark brown hair framing her face poked her head out from one of the rooms in the harshly-lit hallway. She had a feather duster in her hand, brandishing it like a weapon. "Who?"

"Kageyama Tobio!"

"Ahh!" the woman said. "Be back before sundown, Shouyou!" She poked her head back in.

"I will!"

Suddenly, she poked her head back out again. "Oh, Kageyama-kun!" she said.

Tobio went rigid. "Yes?"

"Would you like to stay for dinner?"

Hinata nudged him at the small of his back when he failed to say anything for five seconds. Tobio then had to blurt, "Yes."

"What would you like to have?"

"Pork curry. And yakisoba."

The woman beamed, and Tobio had to step back. She smiled just like Hinata. "Splendid!" She disappeared again.

"Yosh," Hinata said. He dragged Tobio to the living room and made him settle at the kotatsu with a young girl who was busy talking with someone on the phone. "Let me get changed first." Without waiting for Tobio's answer, he dashed to the room at the end of the hallway.

"I have to go now, Shino-chan," the young girl said conspiratorially to her phone. "We have an intruder. Mhmm. Mhmm! Yes, I will! Bye!" She slammed down the handset on the mount before turning to Tobio, her pigtails swishing at the movement. "Who are you?" she demanded.

Tobio drew his eyebrows together. "Kageyama Tobio."

The girl's eyes gleamed in recognition. "Partner!" she exclaimed. She made a setting motion with her hands.

Tobio flushed and nodded.

"I'm Natsu!"

"Hello, Hinata Natsu-san."

She grinned; all the Hinatas had identical sunny smiles, it seemed. "Onii-chan is going away to play more volleyball! On the beach! Are you going away too?"

Did she mean Brazil? "Er, no."

"Eh? I thought you two would be playing together forever."

Without thinking, Tobio tried to allay her obvious disappointment, "We will. Your brother promised." He pursed his lips and added, "But on opposite sides of the court. He challenged me and promised to beat me." No matter how long it takes.

Natsu nodded. "He will," she said, looking unconcerned.

"Kageyama, let's go!" Hinata said as he donned his beanie and his knitted scarf, before striking a pose at the edge of the kotatsu. "To the shrine!"

Tobio bowed at Natsu, who grinned and waved back. He followed Hinata out into the brisk, first snow of the year.

Once they entered a trail in the cedar forest, Hinata admitted, "I was half-kidding when I asked you to come spend time with us on your birthday. I wasn't really expecting you to come. I thought you had plans."

Tobio didn't know how to respond to that. He kept his eyes trained on the stone steps.

"Anyway, I'm glad." Hinata took out his phone. "Do you want me to invite the others?"

No, Tobio thought. "Whatever you want."

Hinata cheered and unleashed a round of text messages to everyone on their team.

Twenty minutes in, they reached the torii gate. There were only a few people loitering the walkways today. The sloping roofs of the ancient, wooden buildings were peppered with snow, the red paper lanterns swooshing along with the faint breeze. As they walked, Tobio stared idly at Hinata's orange curls sticking out from under his beanie, at the white flakes dusting his eyebrows and cheeks.

"Ahh! Yamaguchi's coming!" Hinata said at his phone screen with a grin. "We can meet him at the shopping district. He says he'll arrive in forty minutes."

That's good enough for Tobio. "Alright."

"He's asking if you want any presents."

"Say no."

Hinata cackled. "I'll ask him to get you the raciest ones," he promised.

Tobio tsk-ed and marched straight ahead to the veranda. Hinata laughed even more and jogged towards him. He caught up as soon as Tobio had set foot in the haiden.

The two of them dropped a coin, rang the bell, clapped their hands and bowed before the altar. Tobio thanked the gods for giving him another year.

More volleyball for us, please, he prayed.

Hinata took his arm again in a tight grip and dragged him around the forest pilgrimage areas, then around the shopping district, and Tobio allowed himself to be dragged. It's his birthday today.

 

*****

 

Tobio sticks an orange note on the wall: Hinata likes shrines and going through forest paths. He adds another in blue: Hinata looks good in the snow.

 

~O~

Day 28; 2 Days Remaining

...

 

The matronly lady asks, "Table for how many, please?"

"Two."

She nods and hands Tobio a list. "We have celebration packages if you're interested. We have a variety of selections for anniversary dinners. If you're planning on proposing, you can have a bouquet prepared beforehand—"

"That won't be necessary," Tobio says. He hasn't understood the whole thing, but he knows what "anniversary" and "proposing" meant. He hands back the list, which has all the deals and discounts printed out in a telling, elegant script. "Thank you very much."

She smiles at Tobio's mortified expression. "We'll have a table for you at seven o'clock sharp."

Tobio almost bows as he thanks her again. He exits the restaurant with a loud exhale.

At least that's done. The next thing on his list is to check out the gelato places around the city. Tobio feels significantly more excited now than earlier.

 

*****

October 30, 2021
Trento, Trentino-Alto Adige
Autumn

...

 

Antonello dug the ball from a tough spot—a few centimeters from the end of the left sideline—and judging from its trajectory, it was going to cross over the net. Tobio ran as fast as he could and did a rebound.

"Fucking ace, Tobio!" Martano cawed.

Blockers bunched at center, Tobio noted from his peripheral vision. Back court bracing for 2 and 4 to hit. He decided then and there.

When the ball came to him, he tossed it to Granati.

With a fierce spike, Granati punched a hole through Parma's walls. The ball met the floor with an emphatic boom. They took the final set, 21-19.

His teammates piled on him and Granati afterwards. Setti laughed when Tobio lost his balance trying to stave off Friedman, who was vying to kiss him on the cheek for kicks. It was a good win against a team Tobio genuinely hated playing against.

They shuffled into the locker room after the handshake as their highest point-getter, Emmanuel Zulo, did his interviews in the media room.

As Tobio removed his knee supports, he observed as Setti walked over to Ricci and Antonello, who had their heads bowed as they whispered heatedly to each other. It reminded Tobio of Hinata hanging out with a gaggle of classmates during lunch, listening intently as someone recounted a story of meeting an idol somewhere in Osaka.

"You guys plotting something there or what?" Setti said.

"If you don't have any better ideas, then scram," Antonello said amiably. "This is code red." To Ricci, he said, "Throw me a bone here. Where else could I take her?"

"You could take her out of town," Ricci advised. "There's that newly opened luxury pasta place with the good cocktail selection."

"She hates that shit," Antonello said. "Anything less fancy?"

"Hey, Johnny!" Setti called in English as Binnington made a move towards the showers. "Help the guys out here for a sec."

Binnington trotted towards them. "Yeah? What is it?"

"Thinking of proposing to my girlfriend. It's our sixth anniversary in December," Antonello said.

"Sweet," Binnington congratulated.

"Got any ideas for a venue?"

"Regular restaurants and hotels a no-go?"

Antonello wrinkled his nose. "She thinks they're pretentious and awful."

"Hey, man. You can't knock down her taste."

Antonello did a full-bellied laugh. "Right."

Binnington snapped his fingers. "Take her to the night market," he suggested. "She'd like that, right? Make her feel all happy and chill. Then spring the question to her at the riverside with the nice lights."

Antonello looked cheered at the idea, and Ricci laughed. "You've got a good head on your shoulders, rookie."

Binnington smirked. "My mom didn't raise no dumb sons." He then saw Tobio and laughed. "Yo, join the party if you wanna, Tobio! Got yourself a girl you need to put the moves on?"

Tobio shook his head. "No."

"A guy?"

"No," Tobio answered. "I don't date anyone." His thoughts wandered back to Hinata.

"That's cool too," Binnington said, shrugging. "Though if you need any help, just come to me, my man. I got you covered." He did a weird dance in the middle of the room, thrusting and rolling his hips in the air.

Setti smacked Binnington's backside soundly.

 

*****

 

He's getting ready to sleep when Miwa's still sending him photos of his cousin's wedding in a stream. His phone is dinging incessantly on his nightstand.

Tobio clicks on Miwa's display photo and calls her. He gets through; he sees Miwa on his screen, looking rumpled yet smirking. It must be morning in Sendai.

"See I got your attention," Miwa says.

Tobio meant to say, "Stop sending me pictures", but what he lets out instead is, "Miwa-san, do you believe in love?"

It's obvious that Miwa is blindsided by that question, but she quickly recovers. "What kind?" she asks.

Tobio thinks about it. "The kind Kazuyo-san and Io-san had."

"Have," Miwa corrects. "Our grandparents are dead. Their love isn't."

Tobio falters.

Miwa smiles a little. "Hope that answered your question."

It did. Tobio jerks his head down, scratching his nape. "How was the wedding?" he says absently as a part of his brain begins to plot.

Miwa waves her hand vaguely. "Oh, you know," she says. "I made everyone's hair nice at least."

 

~O~

Day 29; 1 Day Remaining

 

...

 

Tobio cleans the apartment, even though there really isn't much to clean. Having been raised by parents who valued cleanliness and orderliness in their daily lives has its perks. He makes quick work in the living room, kitchen and dining room, and eventually makes headway for the spare bedroom.

He bought a new mattress and sheets yesterday. Hinata tosses and turns in his sleep like a helicopter rotor; Tobio pushes the dresser and the coffee table at least a foot away from the bed, making sure there isn't anything Hinata can break with his wayward legs and arms.

He takes a longer time to decide whether to put only one or several pillows on the bed. He hazards a guess and dumps five, sparing one for himself.

He goes to the bathroom. He plants a bottle of cherry-scented shampoo and soap on the niche inside the shower, and adds a fresh set of towels in the cabinet. He flushes a dark red when he places three folded shirts and cotton shorts, and a pair of lime green pajamas. Just in case.

He's got so much time and little else left to do, so he starts cleaning his own closet. Tobio unearths his old, ratty volleyball shoes, a gym bag given to him as a welcoming gift by the club, and a bottle of hypoallergenic lotion Tobio had barely used. There's a basket containing his parents' clothes and a rolled-up yoga mat. There's a black carton poking out from behind the storage box filled with fan gifts. Tobio takes it out.

It's an old box of instant, single-use heat packs by a famous brand in Japan. It's already empty.

Tobio lowers his head and rubs his face with his palm, his cheeks flaming. He wishes the floor would swallow him up. He's unsettled at how unconsciously sentimental he can be.

 

*****

August 4, 2019
Natori, Miyagi
Summer

...

 

At the airport, his parents had stood aside, having already said their goodbyes back home. Now it's just him and his teammates—his friends from Karasuno, standing in a semi-circle near the departure gate. Only Tsukishima was missing; he had a round-the-clock duty at the city museum today, but apparently he had left a message.

"He said 'good luck'," Yamaguchi told him genially. "That's the only thing I could wrangle out of him, unfortunately."

Tobio didn't mind the slightest. "Thanks." He adjusted the strap of his bag.

Yachi seemed a little upset. "It's like we just got the band back together, and now..." She sniffled. "Do your best, Kageyama-kun."

"I will."

When Tobio turned to his right, he saw that Hinata looked thoughtful. He hadn't said much when they met each other at Tobio's house, with Yamaguchi and Yachi taking the bulk of the conversation, which was strange. Tobio half-hoped Hinata wasn't going to mention that Tobio hadn't seen him off when he went to Rio. Tobio sort of regretted it, but maybe it truly was for the best. He wouldn't have known what to say.

Hinata suddenly brought out something from his backpack. It's a rectangular package wrapped in a purple gift wrap; it was done in the most artless way Tobio had ever seen.

"They're hot packs. Thought you might need them there," Hinata said. He's grinning from ear to ear now, his tanned face flushed.

Yachi laughed as Yamaguchi pointed out, "Why wrap them if you're just going to say what they are?"

"Oh, they aren't the surprise!" Hinata said, waggling his eyebrows.

Tobio took them tentatively. Their fingers brushed. "Um. Thanks."

"Don't mention it!"

As he placed the box in his duffel bag, Tobio's gaze flickered at the flight displays, then back at Hinata again. He still had time.

Tobio pulled Hinata's baseball cap down low over his eyes, so that Hinata wouldn't see him as he declared, "I'll make our team the best in the league. Just watch me."

Hinata flicked the bill of his cap up and smirked. "Show them what Japan is all about, Kageyama," he urged. Challenged.

Tobio brought his luggage closer, curling his fingers around the handle. Just watch me, he repeated in his head.

When they'd meet again, Tobio knew he would still be in love with Hinata. Funnily enough, that wouldn't be a problem at all. The problem would be if he stopped loving and running.

He promised himself he wouldn't quit both while he's away.

It would've been a thousand times easier if he had just hated his archenemy and moved ahead. But Tobio had inexplicably gone for the worst possible scenario: he had fallen deeply in love with Hinata Shouyou, and he had no plans of falling out. He wouldn't stop. He'd never want to. He's determined to have this love keep him company in a place where he'd know no one, when nursing the loneliness with volleyball would not be enough. It'd be a quiet, unobtrusive thing that didn't need to be shared nor acknowledged. Just felt.

I'm going to be fine, Tobio proclaimed. He thought he'd have everything he needs.

He turned to his parents again standing by the car, who nodded approvingly and waved at him goodbye. He bowed to them one last time, then to his friends, before setting off.

"Bye, Kageyama-kun!" Yachi said.

Yamaguchi bellowed, "Message us, alright? Keep in touch!"

"Keep yourself warm, Kageyama!" Hinata shouted.

Tobio nodded to them, lips quirking in response, and didn't look back again.

 

...

 

It's a small mercy that Tobio didn't have anyone sitting beside him on the plane. He couldn't fall asleep. He was bored out of his mind when he decided to take out Hinata's gift from his bag. The package's already a little misshapen, having been shoved unceremoniously inside, but they're only hot packs. Tobio didn't think it'd be important.

When he ripped the wrapper apart, he had to stop himself from bursting into laughter.

Tobio had forgotten that Mimiro was sponsoring the Black Jackals, and had chosen Hinata as the face of their company, advertising some of their products.

"Atsumu-san already has his hands full with 4D and Hishomari," Hinata had cheerfully declared in their chat room when it was announced. "Time for me to step up!"

Hinata's face was indeed on the packaging, his hair magnificently orange as he grinned boyishly, though he looked rather odd now with all the creases on the box. There's a tiny rip where the tip of his chin was supposed to be. Tobio fully grinned.

There was a note attached to the box: Power curry ain't gonna keep your toes toasty, Kageyama-kun!!! :>

 

*****

 

Tobio adds one last post-it to the flock. Hinata keeps me warm.

 

 

~O~

Day 30; 0 Days Remaining

 

...

 

Hinata arrives earlier than expected. He tells Tobio that his sister and her friend from Madonna have already dropped him off at the front gate. Tobio doesn't trust his legs to keep him upright if he dashes outside—he'll trip in his haste—so he dithers towards the door and out to the yard.

Tobio sees Hinata hunched before the passenger window of a red Fiat parked at the driveway.

Natsu spots him. "Have fun, Kageyama-san!" she cheers. "Try not to kill him if he annoys you too much!" Her friend giggles at the driver seat, before rolling the windows up and speeding off. Tobio stares.

"Ei!" Hinata says, pink-cheeked and grinning like he just won. "Kageyama!"

Ah, Tobio thinks as he goes. Nothing's changed. Tobio still wants to kiss him. That's a bit of a comfort; it's a familiar feeling.

When he gets closer and unlocks the gate, Tobio can see the faint, dark circles under Hinata's eyes. Wasn't he able to sleep properly?

He takes one of Hinata's shoulder bags and leads him inside. Hinata makes awed noises at the birdhouse and the cluster of pink peonies under the window.

"You've got a really nice place out here," Hinata says as Tobio closes the door. He glances up at the high ceiling, his mouth forming an 'o'. "Wow. I definitely wouldn't mind living here."

Tobio watches noiselessly as Hinata claws out his boots and aligns them by the doormat. When he stands at full height, Hinata throws him a puzzled look. "You okay?" Hinata says.

No. Tobio doesn't think so. The mist is clearing up, and all he can see is the strange richness of Hinata's brown eyes, the warmth and the steadiness in them. Hinata can see him too, without a doubt. Now that there's no haze or countries or oceans between them.

Tobio's registering that there's a lot of things he's been taking for granted—it's a swift kick to the gut, realizing he'll be counting down the days again until it's over. Hinata's here, but after three mornings, he won't be. He's going to lace those boots back on his feet again and leave. Maybe he won't come back.

Tobio will have to wait for the national team to bring them together again, and he'll have to count down the days for that too. Maybe there's a chance. Maybe there isn't.

He had all the time before. He was young and stupid, of course, but still. He wasted them all. He can only run forward.

His throat clenches up. Make it count, he thinks.

Tobio wraps his arms around Hinata's shoulders and hugs him tightly. He doesn't want tomorrow to come.