Chapter Text
The first time he catches Loren training, he’s already pissed off. And sure, it’s not a big deal to share the room, it’s not like it’s small, but he hates being around Loren on principle; it’s no secret around Avalon that the two just don’t get along- or ok, he just doesn’t get along with the redhead, who admittedly had done literally nothing to deserve the absolute hatred he got, but it had been years now and neither of them expected it to change. For some reason beyond his grasp, Loren was still friendly to him, as he was with most everyone, and it irritated Sade all the more, so when he spots Sade coming into the room, he flashes a tired smile, smoothing crimson hair out of his face and removing one earbud.
“Hey, y'can't sleep either, huh?”
A friendly greeting met only with a roll of the eyes and a grumble. Of course he couldn’t sleep. Why else would he be here? Sorely tempted to just turn around and walk out again, Sade stalks to the other half of the room, intent on ignoring the fellow hunter as well as he possibly can. Loren only shrugs and continues his workout, replacing the earbud. He’d had another nightmare and was shaken pretty bad, but figured if he physically exhausted himself maybe he could get some uninterrupted sleep. For once thankful for Sade’s distaste of him, he wouldn’t have to worry about him bringing anything up, or mentioning the fear smell. Downside of living amongst vampires, no matter how good he’d gotten at hiding signs and controlling his breathing, someone always noticed the lingering scent. Shaking the thought off, he focuses again on his workout.
Fear. Loren had had another nightmare. He could smell it rolling off him even over here, and something about it made him feel weird. He almost felt bad for him, but he cut that feeling off before it could even start. After a bit of halfhearted stretching he finds himself just sitting on the floor and more or less staring at everything the stupid redhead is doing, watching how his lithe form moves, seeing muscles flex and relax under the smooth skin. It pisses him off for reasons he cant understand, and he wonders if maybe he should eat something, because even he’s a little put off by how angry he is. Yet still, he sits and watches, unconsciously staring when Loren’s shirt rides up, or when his body stretches ever so gracefully- how does he move like that? Isnt he human? It shouldn’t be possible! Why is he still staring?
With a huff, he practically leaps up like the floor's burned him, and storms off, leaving Loren alone once more, and heads to his room to shower, or something that doesn’t involve being around that goddamed human. He rakes his fingers through messy raven hair and scowls, heading to his shower, stripping clothes off as he goes. Sade avoids his own stare in the mirror, ever conscious of the scars marring his face. He doesn’t want to see himself, he only wants to get under the warmth of the water and exist, and gods is that warmth welcome to his sore muscles. He feels heat slowly seep in and sighs softer this time, more relief than anger or frustration.
His thoughts drift back to the redhead once more, however. What had the nightmare been? They all knew he had them, he had for many many years now, yet rarely anymore were they bad enough to force him up out of his room where someone might question. Oh well, he supposes, it’s not of his business anyway, why should he care. He doesn’t, he tells himself.
After a while if just being in the water, he decides to get out, wrapping a towel around himself, his hair up in another, and unceremoniously flings himself onto his bed.
The second time he catches Loren in the training room, he’s sparring with Xander. Both of them seem to be enjoying it if the smiles on their faces say anything. They’re fiercely concentrated, both of them more or less a match for each others speed. Sade might be impressed if it weren’t for the fact that he hated them both.
They seem to have been at this for a while, both of them are sweaty and breathing hard. Their temporary stand-still breaks when Xander lunges, barely catching a piece of Loren's shirt; a surprise, but he goes with it, quickly grabbing onto it and using it to pull the redhead closer and sweeping him into a hold, careful to keep him pinned down. Xander knows full well how dexterous Loren is and isn’t taking chances.
“Oh sh-"
Loren is surprised by the grab and sweep, and hitting the mat fast knocks air out of his lungs, but he’s impressed at how much progress Xander's made with his holds, even if it is unorthodox. Nevertheless, he doesn’t plan to disrespect that progress by not fighting it, so after catching his breath a minute he begins to struggle, testing the vampire’s hold on him.
From where he’s at in the room, Sade again unconsciously watches them, rolling his eyes at the unorthodox hold. Something in him likes seeing Loren pinned like that, and he tells himself that it’s because he’s losing, and not for any other reason. He returns back to his own workout, putting the two of them out of his mind and ignoring them until Loren calls to him, half-jogging over.
“Hey, Sade, wanna spar with me? Xander gave.”
Sade can hear the smile in his voice and he bristles, turning and scowling at the redhead.
“Why in the fuck would I do that? I didn’t come here to spar with anyone.”
Admittedly, that question hadn’t warranted that much attitude, but he can’t take it back now. Does he really not want to fight him though? He reasons it’s a Judas-approved way for him to be able to wipe the floor with Loren. Sade considers how satisfying it would be if he were the one to pin Loren and make him give. Considers the way the redhead would feel under him, asking, no, begging, to be- wait. He freezes, arousal and disgust both filling him. What the fuck was he thinking about right there? He realizes he hadn’t heard at all what Loren had said to him after his no, and he was in fact standing there staring quite expectantly, like he'd asked a question. Oh fuck. Sade growls, irritated, and stands, intent on making a retreat.
“No.”
Leaving no room for argument, he makes for the exit, hoping Loren wont follow or try to stop him. His hopes are soon dashed, however, when Loren grabs his arm, eyebrows knit together in concern. Why the fuck was he so close? Why the fuck did that look affect him, causing him to stop.
“Sade, what’s wrong..? You checked out pretty hard there. If you’re not doin’ well, y’should see Mori.”
“Christ, I’m fine, leave me alone! And don’t fucking touch me.” He snarls, practically ripping himself away. Sade pretends not to see the momentary flash of- hurt? Fear? And pretends not to notice how the smaller man flinches ever so slightly, on guard like he expects to be hit. It’s a fair reflex, in all honesty, Sade is usually quick to anger and is a more physical person than hed like to ever admit. For some reason, he hesitates.
“I mean.. fuck. I’m fine, ok? M'not in the mood for a spar.” Sade’s tone is still clipped, but far softer than a moment ago, Loren seems to accept this, nodding and shuffling off quietly, gathering up anything hed brought in with him and taking his leave. He’d not meant to chase the redhead out of here, and he mentally curses at himself for snapping off like that.
The rest of the day he cant help but keep thinking about the satisfaction of Loren pinned under him, of getting to beat him in a fair fight. Of feeling the lean muscles quiver under his touch and hearing a breathless gasp- no wait. No. No, he shuts that down immediately, that is not happening. He only wants to finally beat Loren in a fight. He must be stressed or something because his brain is on something.
He doesn’t see Loren for a while after. The redhead must be too busy to work out. Sade almost misses his annoyingly familiar scent. Almost.
The third time he finds Loren training, he definitely shouldn’t be. He’s still bandaged and looking pretty fucking rough, and should definitely not be in here. But he’s an adult, and Sade doesn’t care if he makes the injury worse. Definitely not. It’s definitely not got him worried or watching Loren, and absolutely doesn’t have him on edge when he hears a sharp, pained inhale, followed by a soft litany of curses. Not it at all.
“Get the fuck out of here before you bust those fucking stitches. Mori's going to kill you.”
The response he gets is a soft growl, and Loren’s voice has bite to it, he must really be pissed off.
“Mori won’t do shit. I’m fine, and why should you care anyway?”
Fair, but unexpectedly painful, from someone who’s generally always fairly pleasant, if somewhat sarcastic.
“I don’t. Reopen it if you want but it’ll just make the healing worse. You know that, you’ve done it enough fucking times.” He shrugs, passing it off as being unaffected- is he actually worried about this? Absolutely. No. Maybe a little, he guesses? The pain had to be pretty bad for Loren to catch an attitude like that, in any case.
Tired blue eyes watch him, although it’s more as if looking through him. Sade fidgets momentarily, unsure why the fuck he’s being looked at like this, but when he meets Loren’s eyes for just a moment his concern grows.
The redhead just isn’t there. His eyes are dull and that scares the shit out of Sade, he’d only seen him like this once or twice, and suddenly he gets the attitude. Loren’s on overload; it makes sense, he’d been on assignment after assignment, with little rest between, and Sade’s willing to bet that the night terrors get worse.
“Hey, uh.. you wanna, uh… go get some rest..? We can.. have Mori check you over.”
He sounds so unsure, and he is, this concern is kinda new to him, but Loren doesn’t immediately tell him no, so he gently helps the redhead up, supporting most of his weight- not that that’s a lot, Loren is fucking tiny. He doesn’t fight, it almost feels like he leans closer, even. He’s silent for a while as they head toward the infirmary, but partway there he more or less whispers.
“I’m sorry. I can walk. You don’t have to help me. I can do this myself.”
And he tries, tries to pull away from Sade, but he wont let go. Sade only shakes his head, holding fast. He still doesn’t understand why he’s doing this, but hes seen that vacant stare in others and it’s one of the few things that scares him, and the fact that it’s Loren this time means nothing, except that he’s always so careful not to show anything is wrong with him. He knows others already consider him weaker or lesser because he’s human, so he refuses to let anyone know when he isn’t okay, much less when he’s completely overloaded like this. This is a dangerous spot for him to be in.
“Shut up, ‘M not leaving you alone. You’re exhausted, dumbass. And you’re pushing too hard. Lucky you didn’t wind up dead.”
Loren doesn’t argue after that, he let’s himself be lead to the infirmary, and to a less than pleased Mori, who wastes no time getting treatment started.
Once he’s got Loren resting- medicated so he actually rests, the doctor turns a sharp eye on Sade, least likely of all of Avalon to help anyone.
“So. Have a soft spot for him now, hm? Quite the turn-around.”
There is no hint of question in the doctor’s voice, as if it’s fact. As if he knows. But what is there to know? Hes not soft for Loren, not by a long shot. But Judas would be pissed if they lost him. That’s why he did it. That’s the fear that squeezed at his heart, obviously. Everyone knew Judas was fucking terrifying when pissed off, he was only doing what was good for the whole organization.
His hesitation to answer seems to amuse Mori. Or maybe the bastard’s read his thoughts again, and that’s a really annoying thought. Sade scowls, rolling his eyes.
“I don’t have a soft spot! You know as well as I Judas would be pissed if he fuckin’ dropped dead. Common fuckin sense to bring him here.”
“Hm. Perhaps, however, there was no need for you to remain, you very well could have just left him to me and gone on your way. No need to wait around like a lost puppy.”
God he forgot how bad Mori pissed him off. With a last scowl, he takes off. He wasn’t waiting around. He wasn’t anxious. No way.
Then why, in the coming weeks, did he find himself walking by the infirmary so often? He never asks about Loren, he doesn’t care enough to. But, he guesses that would be a lie. He kind of misses the half smiles he gets. Almost misses that sharp tongue. That laugh, and those eyes. He’d never seen anything so blue; they were almost ethereal, so light and always so full of life. Fuck, what is going on with me? He finds himself thinking, shaking his head almost violently , an attempt to clear his thoughts.
He does not miss Loren. He is not worried about Loren!
Except that now the idiot redhead visits him in dreams.
Dreams that he would rather die that tell anyone. Ones that all at once confuse and excite him, and have him waking up sometimes missing the feeling of the smaller man snuggled up to him., though he has no idea what that might actually be like, or why his mind tortures him like this.
On one such night, when he wakes apparently clinging to his pillow, he can feel the residual smile on his face, and he immediately reddens, tossing the pillow away with a grumble. He feels like a goddamn schoolgirl with a crush. He sighs and runs a hand through his hair before turning over roughly, falling back down onto the mattress and eventually back into sleep.
This time his dream is an altogether different type of exciting. This time he feels Loren’s hands on him, and his own on the smaller hunter. This time he touches and tastes, and god if Loren isnt as sweet as he thought he might be.
He takes his time working the redhead up, having pulled him up onto his lap. The dreams’ surroundings don’t make much sense, but all he can focus on is the weight of Loren straddling him, and the way he shivers when Sade touches him just so.
Everything is a blur, wonderful sensations he hasn’t felt in some time, and those noises could kill a man. Each blessed cry of his name brings him closer and closer and he can feel in the way Loren reacts he’s just as close-
THUD!
Stormy blue eyes fly open, registering pain and confusion, he snarls much like a feral animal before realizing he fell out of his bed and was not in fact under any kind of attack. As adrenaline settles, he remembers snippets of his dream- Loren crying out for him so nicely, his fingers twisted into soft crimson locks- he immediately wishes he were under attack.
“What the fuck…?”
Sade doesn’t know what to do for a solid minute, torn between disgust and- what was this? What did he feel for Loren? Evidently not hatred, as he’d thought.
Maybe, he thinks, he’s just desperate. It had been a minute he supposed, but why would his mind give him Loren out of everyone? That just seemed cruel.
He does his best to push it out of his mind, to forget about the dream.
It doesn’t work. Instead he lies awake, painfully hard and trying not to think about how good Loren felt in the dream, and now angry he is at being woken up while he was so close. He’s too pissed off to do anything about it now, so he lies there and seethes.
And in another week, Loren is up and back at it, a clean bill of health and renewed energy all his. He finds Sade in the cafeteria one day, and comes up to him with zero hesitation, a little grateful smile on his face.
“Hey, uh. Thanks. For taking me to Mori, I mean. I know you don’t wanna hear it, you don’t care or whatever, but it doesn’t feel right not to thank you for it. I owe ya one.”
Sade stares blankly, forgetting to even put up a front. He’s pretty sure Loren’s gonna notice him starting at his lips.
“Hhhuhsure.”
Brilliant communication on his part, he knows. But naturally his brain picked the worst time to recall those dreams- and of course there had been many more- and he’s all at once flustered and pissed off by it.
“Don’t. Uh. You don’t owe me anything. Didn’t do anything.”
He finds the brain cells to think, but not enough to focus on really anything except damn Loren smells good. Oh, hes close. Wait.
He’s close.
Closer than before, and his hand is reaching out. He looks concerned again.
“…a-re you ok..?”
“Spar with me.”
Loren blinks in confusion, hand halting its course for Sade’s forehead. The dark haired man isnt even sure why he said that, but maybe a good smack or two will get him feeling back to normal, and it’s too late to take it back now anyway.
“You uh.. sure you should be sparring? You’re actin' pretty weird.”
Sade snaps out of it, shaking his head and fixing his gaze on Loren again.
“Spar with me. As my favor. Can’t think of a better repayment than being able to beat your ass, honestly.”
The redhead seems to accept this, raising an eyebrow, the hint of a smirk on his pretty pink lips.
“Alright. But don’t go puttin' the cart before the horse. You haven’t won yet.”
His tone is playful and boy does it do something to Sade. There’s a flutter of excitement in his chest that he hasn’t felt in ages, and an equally rare grin spread under his mask, a fire in his eyes. The two agree on a time and before he knows it, they’re both back in the training room, Loren doing his usual stretches. Guess he’ll eat later, hes's here now and he refuses to bolt.
Truthfully he doesn’t mean to stare, but he really is captivating, his lithe, graceful figure belies his strength, which for a human, is pretty fucking good he guesses. In any case, he needs to do his stretching and get ready. He forces his gaze away, feeling his excitement grow. He’s so ready to finally kick Loren’s ass.
He hates to do it but he decides taking his mask off would be smart, so he sets it off to the side, fluffing his hair a bit and then tying it back to keep it out of his way. Not like his scars are a secret, and its surprisingly just the two of them in here anyway, so he guesses he’s ok with it. Loren, seeing him set the mask off to the side, feels just as.. Special? Honored, almost? To be trusted with seeing them again. Sade really is handsome, he’s got a nice, strong jaw, and in the redhead’s opinion, the scarring adds to his attractiveness, but he understands fully the need to keep them hidden.
In just a few more minutes, they’re squared up. Sade’s got to admit, that look of confidence in Loren’s eyes is nice, though he will savor every second of taking that away.
Loren is the first to move, quick, but not quick enough, Sade sidesteps his jab and counters with his own, which Loren doesn’t quite dodge. Maybe he shouldn’t enjoy the feel of his hits connecting like that, or the slight surprise in Loren’s voice. He doesn’t have long to enjoy it before the redhead’s on the offense again, this time landing a good, solid hit of his own.
He grins at the surprise on the vampire’s face, tone downright cheeky.
“Focus, or this'll be a quick one!” Loren teases.
Sade only growls, though there’s no actual malice in it for once, he’s actually enjoying himself, almost even grinning. They’re very nearly dancing around each other quick both of them watching for an opening before Sade catches Loren slipping for just a moment and sweeps his legs out from under him, intent on pinning him.
The redhead’s breath leaves him in a huff, and he instinctively brings his hands up to protect his face as the larger man straddles him.
“What was that about a ‘quick one’?” He teases, an actual grin taking over his features. He’s sure his body weight is enough to keep Loren pinned, and his guard is down for just long enough to prove that’s not the case, as he quickly finds himself flat on his back, an undignified squawk leaving him as he’s pinned by the smaller redhead.
Loren leans down, close. Christ he smells good. Could get used to seeing him up there like that, though maybe without all that cloth.. Now is not the time!
“I said focus!”
Something’s up with Sade. Is he taking it easy because of the previous injury? No, that’s not like him. But neither is the teasing. He’s more the boastful type, Loren had never seen him this lighthearted before. He looks the vampire over and picks up on the flush, and how his pupils are blown wide, how he unconsciously brings his lower lip in between his teeth. Oh.
Oh no way. He’s enjoying this quite a bit, evidently.
Loren grins, shifting ever so slightly, so as not to be obvious, just barely grinding down against him, enough to look accidental. He’s going to see how this plays out; he can’t say he’d never been curious about Sade in that way before so he figures if it happens it happens. Though he’s curious how long Sade’s been hiding this, he swears the man’s always hated him. Maybe it’s because of the hate, either way it may be fun, so either way he plays it up just a bit.
Oh maybe this was a bad idea, thinks Sade as he again gets Loren in a hold. Just a moment’s distraction is all it takes for Sade to flip the hold back into his favor. Loren is feisty and hard to catch, even harder to keep, but holding him close is definitely distracting, and he prays to any god that’ll listen that he’s not actually going to get hard- harder- during this fight. While he’s got him, Sade quickly lifts him up and suplexes him-not something they agreed they could do but god he needs to keep him down a second-, hearing him hit the mat is quite satisfying, and he’s not sure if he’s just hearing things but it sounds like Loren enjoyed that a little? Does he like the rough treatment? No. He’s got to be imagining it.
Both of them at this point are breathing hard and drenched in sweat, and haven’t bothered getting back up from the suplex yet, pretty well tired out. They are surprisingly evenly matched, much to Sade’s chagrin, and there had been a lot of back and forth, each of them having landed good blows. Loren sits up after a moment, practically peeling his shirt off his torso, and it takes everything not to stare. He looks incredible. His hair's a mess, eyes alive and bright, an easy, excitable smile on his face. Sade can’t help looking all of him over, Loren’s beautifully toned, and the flush from the workout is gorgeous, perhaps heightening his fantasy, which he’s trying to ignore. His eyes linger a moment on the many scars, gaze almost reverent, falling to the largest of them, taking up a good portion of his right side, the most painful, the biggest reminder. There’s something in the air between them, something new and different. Neither of them are usually so willing to bare these scars. He knows both of them view them as failures on their part, but god the redhead still looks perfect. Sade tries to calm his breathing and force his thoughts somewhere that don’t involve burying his fingers in that pretty red hair and giving him a reason to be so out of breath. Meanwhile, Loren has taken full advantage of his lack of attention, and has “pinned" him in the laziest way possible, again straddling his hips, leaning up, chest to chest, and pinning his wrists above his head. Sade snaps out of it, looking up at him in surprise, met with a wide grin and a breathless declaration of “I win.” By the redhead.
He panics momentarily, hoping Loren can’t feel him, but if he can he’s either freaked out enough that he’s not saying anything, or doing him a service and just keeping quiet about it. Now would be a good time for the floor to just… swallow him.
Oh christ. He knew Sade was enjoying the fight, but he didn’t realize how much. Briefly he considers grinding himself down against the vampire, though he’s got to admit he’s surprised by the thought, he’s not normally so forward. Maybe he does wiggle a bit more than necessary as he moves off, settling down beside Sade instead of on him. Maybe he gets a slight thrill at the way Sade’s breath hitches, and his bottom lip is again worried between his teeth. Maybe he’s got the idea in his head to keep teasing and see how long it takes for Sade to snap.