Archive of Our Own

You were lucky to get in. You had worked hard to land yourself in one of Korea’s top arts schools, and as an American your job was twice as hard. You were sad to leave the few friends you had, but you promised them that you’d keep in contact. Hopefully you’d be able to keep your promise. 

Your first year was rough, but that’s what you expected. Little to no help in English, no late work ever, and project after project. You barely survived, but after the first semester it started to get… Better? More manageable? Either way, things started to make more sense. School had a rhyme and reason, and you knew what times were best to study, and when the library was less occupied. Even though you dreamt that you’d immediately be accepted into a friend group and acclimate right away, that didn’t happen. Although what did happen was arguably better. 

You struggled in your first music theory class. Once you knocked all your generals out in your first year, you had to adjust to all-music classes. You were a music production major with a bit of a musical background, so scales, key signatures and harmonies and the like were all familiar, but trying to organize triads and diads, identify semitones, and whatever else your professor assigned you, with minimal references? You felt like you were drowning. You were sitting in the common area in the arts building, hunched over your worksheet on the verge of tears. 

“You’ve been sitting there for a while.” Whoever’s talking to you crunches down on what must be a cheap granola bar, and she curses lightly while definitely trying to catch the small crumbs going everywhere. You turn to her, head still in your hands. You nod. “Yeah. I’ve been there too.” 

She walks to the table you’re at and sits down, giving up on eating the granola bar normally and just pouring the rest of it into her mouth. She finishes chewing and gives you an award-winning smile. “Name’s Moonbyul. What about you?”

“(Y/n). Are you a music student too?” 

“Yeah, vocal. I’m also a dance major, so I just hang out here when I’m waiting for my girlfriend Solar to get out of her vocal lessons.”

“Oh, cool! Uh, have you taken Theory I? I can’t wrap my brain around this at all.” You pass the sheet over to her, watching her yoink the pencil from your hand and make a few small diagrams off to the side. 

“See,” she slides the paper to be more angled towards you, “these go together. You don’t even need to sight-sing to see that these are off. It’s proportions.” She circles a few notes on the sheet, everything suddenly coming together. You gasp, clapping your hands together.

“I get it! Yeah!! Yeah this makes sense!” Moonbyul slides the paper back over to you and you make some more progress.

A few minutes pass, and you look back up. Moonbyul’s on her phone, still sitting by you. You want to be friends with her. It had been tough being a foreigner here, with the fairly small campus size and the whole, y’know, general language barrier. You knew the language, that much was a given, but there were many things you still missed out on due to your general shyness. But she’s so cool, your traitorous brain whispered to you, she wouldn’t think you’re all that cool. 

At your old high school back in the states, you always felt like the odd one out. Too focused on your various pet projects and taking school plays way too seriously. You had a few friends here and there, a few people’s Snapchats saved to your phone from some dumb school project years ago. Moving was the best plan for you, and you promised to yourself that you’d be more outgoing; you’d do more to reach out. Your parents had told you a million times before you left that making friends was important- and you know what? Fuck it! Friendship time!!

“Hey, uh…” You start. Moonbyul looks up from her phone. “This is a weird way to say it, but… Can we be friends?” You cringe internally and externally at how lame you sound. 

Before she can answer, the stairway door opens and the most beautiful, poised woman steps out. Her face opens into a dazzling smile as she nearly skips over to Moonbyul, wrapping her arms around her neck. “I’m sorry, sweetie, I had to talk to someone in the offices about recital stuff. Thanks for waiting!!” 

You can tell how well they get along, even though their surface appearances seem so opposite. Solar (you assume) brings Moonbyul right out of the shell you didn’t even notice she had, and the two’s familiar touches remind you of a fairytale happy ending.

“Oh, is this a new friend, Moonbyul?” She slaps her arm lightly, Moonbyul chuckling under the horrendously painful assault. “Introduce me, honey!! I wanna be friends, too!” Solar grabs a chair and scoots to be right in front of you. She sticks out a hand thoughtfully. “You’re American, right?” You take her hand, nodding quietly.

“Yeah.”

“If you ever have trouble with Korean, let me know, okay?” She lets go of your hand, right hand settling comfortably against your forearm. You nod, already charmed with her. Moonbyul clears her throat, and you turn to her. She’s holding back a smile, eyes dancing with mirth. Ah, so this must be a common Solar-ism. Quick friendships. 

“To answer your question, yes, yes we can be friends. I think Solar’s just adopted you, so it’d just be terrible if I tried to rip you two away.” She chuckles, looking at her girlfriend lovingly. “We can introduce you to the rest of the group in a bit if you have time for a dinner break.” You nod, packing up your homework quickly.

So… Maybe it was that easy. 

-

You tried to spend as much time practicing in the studio as you can. You’re still pretty shy, so when you don’t want to bother any of your friends to record something, you’d try your hand at your own stuff. At first it was just covers where you tried to imitate the artists style (hey, old Fall Out Boy songs are fun, okay?), but it slowly started to morph into trying to write your own music. You entertained yourself finding different beats and samples, and you frequently made dumb trap beats with funny samples in them (the one you’re obsessed with right now is Hwasa saying “bitch, you’re a queen!”). But every time you walk through the hallways of the arts building, through the small wing of recording and mixing booths, you hear a group of students making banger after banger.

The first time, it was late at night. You got inspired once the sun went down, so you had brought your dinner with you (your five roommates, especially Ryujin, forced you to learn how to cook a few easy, portable meals. You love your roommates with all your heart) just in case you didn’t make it back home before 10. Walking to the break room, you microwave your fried rice and zone out a bit. You hum along with the microwave, listening to the sounds of the building. Something, though, seems to be floating from the hallway you came from. You can hear the beat, oddly familiar to you. 

You stop the microwave before it hits zero and grab your container of fried rice. You wander quietly over to the studio a few doors down from your own. Standing just beside the door as to not be seen, you finally realize where you’ve heard the beat before. “King Kunta! Kendrick Lamar!” You mumble to yourself, happy that there are some Kendrick fans in Korea. The three distinct voices sound like they’re arguing about lyrics, but clearly adding in their own jokes and references to try and switch up the song. One of them starts rapping a bit with the beat, a shockingly sexy amount of growl coming through his tone. The other two applaud jokingly, and you smile. This is probably a bit weird, but at this point it’s too late at night to care. You refocus and realize the voices from inside the recording room start getting louder, and before you can completely retreat to your own recording room, the three voices gain bodies.

“Oh, sorry,” you mumble, trying to slip past them. You of course slip up in English out of embarrassment, which draws the attention of the tallest of the three. He lights up like a Christmas tree, eyes focusing in on you.

“You speak English?” He says, also in English.

“Yeah, I’m, uh. I’m American.” You shrug, switching back to Korean for the other two guys, who were watching the both of you expectedly. “I moved here a few months ago.” You pause, gaining confidence. “I heard a bit of what you were recording in there as I was walking by, really cool stuff.” You smile at the three, taking the opportunity to examine each of them a bit closer.

They’re all relatively short, but that doesn’t really bother you all that much. The tallest has a beanie on, barely covering his obviously natural curly hair. He has a bright, friendly smile- definitely the most outgoing in the group if his quick response was anything to go off of. The blonde one with the big eyes and bigger smile also seems pretty outgoing, and very outwardly kind. His eyes are tired, but he still doesn’t seem bothered at all that his friend struck up a conversation, while they might have been on their way out. 

The shortest one, though, he interests you. He also has a beanie on, pushing his bangs low over his eyes. His eyes easily cut through them, though, his strong nose and lips drawing you in. His overly-large black hoodie and skinny jeans (with a bit of a chain peeking out too, how cool) paired with the black Converse give him an edgy look that you can tell by his friend group is at least a little bit put-on. His hands twitch at his sides, sliding easily into his pockets. You realize you’ve been staring when his mouth slides into an easy side smirk. You look back towards the tallest, feeling your cheeks heat up.

“You think so? Thanks!” He pauses, then smiles to himself. “Almost forgot to introduce myself. I’m Bang Chan!” He bows a little, and you return it.

“I’m (y/n), I’m a music production student, by the way. I’m not just creeping through the arts building at, ah,” you turn your phone screen on, “1:17am.”

“Even if you were creeping, you got to hear us practicing what’s definitely gonna be the next big hit.” The blonde says. He nods his head a little in a mock-bow. “I’m Han Jisung.”

“Well, Jisung, I don’t know how well Kendrick Lamar would take you guys using his beat. I’d hope he’d be okay with it, for your sake.” 

“You listen to Kendrick?” The shortest speaks up, eyes lighting up. 

“Yeah, I’m trying to listen to more rappers than just the greats, but Kendrick draws you in, y’know?” 

“Yeah, yeah. To Pimp a Butterfly is a work of art, so we had to use a sample from it.” His hands tuck comfortably behind his back, his right foot toeing at the ground. You look at him for a bit, waiting. He stares back, side smirk coming back. “What?”

Jisung elbows him, giggling. “What’s your name?”

“Oh! Right. I’m Seo Changbin.” He bows, and you bow back. 

“I’ll let you guys get back to work, then. You bow your head a little, excusing yourself. “Hope to see you around!” As you walk into your recording room, you hear Jisung and Chan laughing about something, something that Changbin seems to be a little upset about. You smile, putting your headphones on and getting back to work. 

Most nights you were at the Arts building, you found at least one of the three hard at work. One of your new friends from your theory class, Felix, always made fun of you when you brought them up.

“You want to marry at least one of the three, just ask them to work with you!” He points his chopsticks at you, a grain of rice landing in your tupperware. You gape, struggling to find the right words. You grab the end of the utensils, looking him dead in the eyes as he laughed at you.

“I can’t just ask them, Felix, they’re cool!” Somehow, Felix laughs harder.

“They’re definitely not cool if they spend all their time in the recording studio. You’re a music student, too, it’s not like you wouldn’t be able to help.” Felix flicks your fingers off, continuing to eat his lunch. “Plus, you’re cute enough to ask them out-”

“Shhhhhut up, Felix!! They’re everywhere, you can’t reveal my deep, dark secrets like this!” Felix giggles, mocking your frantic nature.

“Oh no!! It’s not like all you could talk about last weekend is how sexy the goth dude is, Changb-”

“I was drunk, so any incriminating evidence has been thrown out the window at maximum velocity.” You cross your arms across your chest, eyebrows furrowing and mouth setting into a frown. “Yeji will back me up, I only mention the drunk confessions she’s made when she hasn’t cleaned off the kitchen counter in a while.” You crack your serious facade, letting a smile leak through. “Plus, I’ve only really met those guys once. Who knows what they’re actually like, y’know?”

“Well you could always find out!” Felix bumps his foot against your own, cheeky smile plastered to his face.

“Well,” You sigh, standing up, “it was nice having a lunch-slash-study session with you, Felix, but I’ve got to go figure out how I’m gonna do a multi-voice, multi-track project.” Felix raises his eyebrows at you. “If the opportunity arises, fine. I’ll ask them.” 

“Woo-hoo! Confidence!” Felix does a small victory wiggle in his chair, doing what looks suspiciously like a Tik Tok dance. You ignore it for now.

“Only if the opportunity arises!!” You remind him, grabbing your bag and empty tupperware, walking back over to the studios. 

“Have fun with the love of your life, (y/n)!” Felix calls back.

You sigh. Sometimes friends were such a hassle. Too bad you love them all too much to mind. 

-

One week. It took one week. One week to finally build up the confidence to approach Changbin in the common area late one night to help you record something. You’d heard how insanely well he could rap and sing, and you were only a little embarrassed about the way you hunted down his groups’ Soundcloud account. Your roommates always made fun of you whenever they caught you listening to them while doing your homework at your desk, but they also tried to encourage you, too. 

“You’re passionate, beautiful, and hilarious. What wouldn’t he like?” Lia says, her kind voice soothing your anxieties about talking to your crush. You lean on her shoulder, pausing the music (3RACHA, of course) so you can sigh in peace. 

“Is it weird?” You turn your head to look into her eyes. “That I’ve been listening to his voice on repeat?”

“Well…” She hesitates, smiling kindly. “Don’t phrase it like that, maybe?” Her kind smile and soft words make you laugh. You draw her in for a hug.

“Lia, you’re too nice for me. Just tell me I’m a creep!” You both giggle, holding each other. Her hands pat your back in a fun pattern, a kind reassurance you’re not sure that she fully understands the comfort level of. You promise yourself then, that the next time you saw Changbin, you’d ask him to record with you.

-

“You do?” He looks shocked, hands finding their home in his bright purple hoodie. He’s not wearing the black beanie you usually see him in, but he still has the black pants and black Converse. Maybe you pay a little too much attention, but he’s… Cute? Handsome? Beautiful? Interesting? All four?

“Yeah! I, uh, I have something written if you wanna give it a try? We could also workshop a bit once you hear the beat.” You fidget a bit, glad you have your phone in your hands so you can pop-push-pop your pop socket over and over again. Changbin nods, smiling.

“Sure, what do you have?” 

You take a deep breath. It’s no biggie, it’s not like you have both a really big regular crush on him, as well as a music crush on the guy, not at all. You self-consciously put your backpack down, flopping onto the small couch across from the mini recording booth. Changbin pulls a chair over and sits across from you, pulling out a notebook and pen of his own. His knee bounces restlessly, and that alone makes you feel a bit better about all this. 

“So, uh…” You start, pulling out a frayed moleskine notebook. “I have a few ideas in here, but I’m still getting Korean rhymes down, so, yeah, add to ‘em if you want.” You flip to the right page (secretly hoping he doesn’t turn the pages back a few entries, to the frankly embarrassing short love poems you’ve written), sliding it across the table to him. He brandishes his pen with confidence, making small marks here and there.

The time passes easily, Changbin telling you some Korean slang that would rhyme a bit better, or maybe a few more repetitions of a line to create a clearer hook. It’s after about 30 minutes of this that you hear a quick knock at the door, and the both of you separate as if you had been doing something illicit. You blush thinking about it, but don’t have time to look at Changbin before Jisung comes hurtling through the door.

“I’m finally out of classes!! Aren’t you happy to see me, hyung?” The younger grabs onto Changbin’s arm, laughing when Changbin responds with a pinch to his cheeks.

“Jisungie!! Aah, little Jisungie’s back!!” Changbin’s eyes crinkle with the wattage of his smile, and something inside you melts. The two boys play-wrestle a bit while you keep mulling over lyrics, much less disheartened than before you asked for Changbin’s help. You doodle a little in the corner of the notebook page, completely meaningless hearts that you didn’t want to look into right now. 

“Sorry, (y/n)! I know you’re happy to see me too.” He winks playfully, the left side of his mouth teasing upwards. Changbin glares at him, causing him to giggle, and you feel like you’re missing out on some vital information. Changbin slaps his arm, which for some reason makes Jisung laugh even harder than before, finally flopping onto the couch to sit next to you. “So… What’re we working on here?” He peeks over your shoulder at the notebook. You offer it to him, smiling at his enthusiasm.

“Changbin and I were working on lyrics for a song I have to record- the project needs more than just my own voice, sadly.” The boy groans at that, shaking his head.

“Too bad- Changbinnie over here’s always telling us how pretty of a voice you have, you’ll have to show us something sometime!!” Jisung grins at Changbins panicked glare, but you don’t notice it too much.

“You think my voice is nice?” You try not to sound so touched, but it fails miserably.

“Yeah, I’ve uh, the walls are thin, so,” Changbin stutters. You let him off easy, laughing a little and changing the subject. 

You get back to work on the lyrics, Jisung even deciding to be magnanimous at a certain point, adding a few of his own. You get to work on the beat while you’re at it, tweaking a few samples and beat drops. The two boys add a lot more than you thought they would, their seemingly natural knack for music production making you a little insecure. You get over it quickly, though, having to explain the difference between different types of sound files to the two. 

Somehow, in the middle of serious, focused lyric writing and editing, Jisung tries to convince you that Changbin is really good at acting cute. “You’re kidding.” You deadpan.

“Changbin!!” Jisung stares at his friend, tilting his head to the side. “You’ve really kept the cool guy illusion this whole time?”

“Don’t say it’s an illusion, man,” Changbin fiddles with his hands in his lap, chin tilting down. 

“Illusion? You can have different parts to your personality. That’s not something to be ashamed of, especially when meeting new people!” You scoot to the edge of the couch, straightening your back and letting an easy smile spread across your face. “Show me the cute! Wow me with it!” You tap your foot against his a few times, watching his nearly external internal monologue, eyes darting around the room, from you, to Jisung, to the door. His eyes settle on the floor by his toes and he sighs. 

“C’mon, Binnie, you subject me and Chan to this all the time, might as well show (y/n) before I bully you into it later!” Jisung rests his elbows on his knees, his chin on his closed fists, watching his friend with rapt attention. 

Changbin sighs. He stands. Deep breath.

“Changbinnie to the rescue!!” Changbin shimmies his shoulders until they’re close to his ears. He clacks his knees together, one finger pointing to the ceiling, his arm just under a 90 degree angle. His voice is softer than you’ve ever heard it, the baby-like quality coming through perfectly. You wait with baited breath. “You wouldn’t want lamey-baby Jisungie to try this! Haah!” He pouts cutely, furrowing his eyebrows delicately. He points his finger at you, sending you a coy wink. Your jaw drops, a small huff of a chuckle breaking up the dead silence of the room. You struggle to think of a single word to say that wouldn’t embarrass you any more than Changbin just did. 

“You, uh, really went for it.” You settle on. Changbin crumples into a ball on the floor while Jisung bursts out laughing. “I didn’t mean it in a mean way!!” You struggle. “It was cute! I was just, uh-”

“You don’t have to salvage this, (y/n). Leave me here to die.” Changbin’s voice muffles into the material of his hoodie, which he has currently retreated into. Jisung laughs harder at your panicked expression.

“Changbiiiiin don’t be mad at meeeeeeee,” you slowly collapse onto the floor, wrapping your arms around his curled-up ball-body, “I didn’t know what to saaaaaay!” You can feel Changbin laughing, so you know this wasn’t as serious as his melodramatic ass was making it out to be.

“You two are so sweet. Get off the floor before a custodian kicks us out for getting your body oils all over the linoleum.” Jisung taps the toe of his Docs against your calf affectionately. You blush at the whole ‘sweet’ thing, but you ignore it, straightening up immediately.

You shove both of them into the booth, hoping you don’t have to suffer through Changbin’s sudden cuteness overload. The cuteness is fine, but the proximity without being able to hold him close, pinch his cheeks, or kiss his forehead was really getting to you. 

You move from the couch to the recording area directly outside the recording booth. You set up the necessary programs, moving various notebooks and laptops out of the way. You give a cue for which song you’re starting with, and they’re off. Their mood shifts as soon as you start the track, their gentler movements replaced with serious faces and purposeful raps. When Changbin starts using his scratchier rapper voice that you’ve only gotten to hear through walls and recordings, you feel a shiver run through your body. The sudden reminder of his talent stuns you. You can’t stop watching him. Until, that is, Jisung starts laughing. You switch your gaze over to him to try and communicate shut up we’re working, but something about his teasing look makes you second guess yourself. 

You have a few samples up your sleeve, most of them you’ve shown the two while writing lyrics. You decide to throw a curveball and see if the two can freestyle, and you throw a G-Eazy track on, Forbes . Changbin flounders a bit, stringing something together about being on that grind while working on his mind (“you should really be working on your hind,” jisung jokes, patting Changbin’s ass. His answering indignant yell is enough to make you pause the recording for a few minutes to just laugh), but Jisung has fun making up short rhymes about the weather, how he’s feeling better, and is he kneeling? Never!

The laughter and short bursts of focus break up the afternoon well. You shoo one or the other out for bits of time for dedicated vocals, or to ask for specific adlib lines. As Jisung leaves to get a drink, he whispers in your ear a small secret. It’s one you know about, of course. 

Yoh.

You’ve been trying to think of a way to get him to say it without letting him know that you listen to his stuff on repeat, but now Jisung’s given you the perfect foot in the door. You turn on the mic to talk directly into the booth. “Hey, Changbin. Jisung’s just given me an idea for an adlib. You say ‘yooh,’ right? Can you do that for me?” Your cheeks hurt from holding back a smile at his dismayed face. “It’s cool! Just do it.” You smile sweetly, egging him on. He sighs. You’ve won. 

As soon as he’s done it and you pause the recording, you burst out laughing. He steps out of the booth, his hands curled into loose fists. He taps his knuckles against your shoulder repeatedly in a mock-punch. “How could you do that to me, what did Jisung say? Did he tell you to bully me? Is that it? Am I here just to suffer?” You laugh at his misfortune, standing up to envelop him in a hug.

“Aww, poor Changbinnie… So easy to tease!” You rock him back and forth gently, pressing his head into the crook of your neck. He goes surprisingly willingly, wrapping his arms around your lower back. You let yourself pretend for a moment that he’s hugging you because he likes you, more than as a friend. You hum contentedly, breathing in the scent of his shampoo (probably some generic Old Spice scent- it’s cute on him), your chin resting on his shoulder. 

You want him to wrap you up in his arms, maybe cuddle on the couch or something. But as soon as those thoughts come to you, you dismiss them. Even though he’s here now, who knows when a beautiful, adept-at-Korean person will step into the picture and sweep Changbin out from under your feet? At that, you take one last breath into the shoulder of his hoodie (that shampoo again, natural musk, and fabric softener) and step away. You ruffle his hair to break up the odd energy from the room, and push him back into the booth with promises of less teasing. 

He’s given you a few more adlibs to mess around with when Jisung comes back, dragging an exhausted Chan with him. He shoves the eldest onto the couch, protests bubbling out of the mouth of the older.

“Uh-?” You start, turning in your swivel chair.

“He hasn’t slept in like, two days, so he’s gonna take a nap now.” Jisung lies on top of Chan, forcing the man to lie down. 

“It’s not like I’ve not slept, I’m just sleeping a bit less!” Chan begs. Physically, he’s stopped fighting, but the desperation in his eyes makes you think that this fight is long from over. 

“And tell us, what does ‘a bit less’ mean to you?” Jisung smacks the back of his head a few times, trying to make a point. 

“Like… Four hours a night?”

“You told me that was your longest streak in a week!!” 

“You’re sleeping less than four hours a night?” You ask, concern weaving its way through your question. “You’re taking a nap. Jisung, keep doing what you’re doing.” You turn back to the booth while Jisung cheers, happily pinning Chan to the couch.

He does fall asleep after a bit, his light snores warming all of your hearts. You all take a quick break to take selfies with his sleeping form, extremely careful not to wake him. You shoo the two lucid rappers back to the booth after a bit, determined to finish creating the raw materials for your project. You only needed a few more lines and a bit of supervision on the beat for the project, but you also wanted some lines for your own pet projects. Changbin didn’t have to know if you put some of his jokingly sexy lines in a forever-unreleased song. It was only a little bit of torture to know that you’d have to hide how you felt, especially because you knew you hid it poorly. Felix has had to hit the backs of your hands on a few different occasions, all because you were staring at the back of Changbin’s head while he stood at the common room vending machines. 

You record and re-record to the background sounds of Chan’s soft snoring and to the thick bass pounding in your headphones. You can tell the two are getting a little tired of the louder songs, so you switch to a poppier track with more lighthearted lines. Between takes, you record the two play fighting and decide to make it a new sample. Time flies by faster than what you first thought, though, and soon someone new has burst into the room.

“(Y/n)!! Felix shouts, triumphantly holding a takeout container in his hands. 

“Oh hey, Felix!” You pause the adlib recording, turning to your friend. “What’s up?”

“You have to eat! Your lovely roommates texted me what to bring you.” He shoves the container in your lap, wrapping an arm around your shoulders. 

“Yeah? Why didn’t they text me?”

“They don’t trust you.” Felix nods sagely, the corners of his mouth hinting at a grin. You smile back at him, shaking your head warmly. 

Changbin’s the first one to walk out of the booth, watching Felix hesitantly. “You’re friends with Chan, right?” Felix nods, his freshly dyed red hair flopping across his forehead. “Cool. Cool.” Changbin’s attitude goes cold at his presence, but you chalk that up to post-recording exhaustion.

“Yeah! (Y/n)’s told me all about you guys, so…” Felix cups his chin, watching the two critically. “You,” he says, pointing to Jisung, “are probably Jisung,” his eyes dart to the sleeping form on the couch, “that’s Chan, and you,” he moves his finger to Changbin, a grin spreading across his face, “are definitely Changbin.” You slap his arm, fighting the blush working it’s way up your face. 

“It’s the chin, right?” Jisung teases, his face dead serious. Changbin sighs dramatically, kneeling down to the floor. “Or was it the height? Or lack of it?” 

Changbin gasps out a laugh, flopping back onto the floor. He tries to play it off a bit, standing back up coolly and rolling his shoulders out. His nervous side smile is back, though. You want to smooth it over with your thumb, but with two other playful guys in the room, it’d get you nothing but roasted. 

“Well, whenever (y/n) and I hang out-” Felix starts. He’s really trying your patience today.

“Well, I guess now’s a good time for a dinner break,” you say, interrupting what was bound to be an embarrassing story about your little crush. 

“Yeah, I’ll go get something for me and Changbin.” Jisung says, eyeing Changbin wearily. “I’ll be right back.” He skips out of the room, leaving the three of you (plus one passed out Chan) in the general silence of the room. You grab the takeout box and collapse on the floor in front of the couch, taking out your water bottle. Felix quickly shoves you over and cuddles against you. It’s a familiar sight, but for some reason your skin feels tight. You decide to stay quiet about it, contenting yourself to munching on the food Felix got for you. Felix pokes at your hands lightly, playing with the fingers of your non-dominant hand. You flick his forehead which earns a chuckle. He settles for wrapping his arms around your torso while you eat.  You offer some to Changbin out of politeness, but he declines. The gesture, however, doesn’t go unnoticed. The tense lines at his mouth lift slightly, getting one step closer to the beautiful smile you’ve gone and gotten addicted to. 

“Did you eat?” You ask Felix around a full mouth of food.

“Nah, I wanted to get something after I knew you’d eaten already.” Felix gives you his signature 500 watt smile. It doesn’t work that well on you, but you pretend for his ego.

“Aaaaawwwwww, widdle Felix is so nice!!” You put down your food container to pinch his cheeks painfully, your face pressed close to his. You push his face away from yours playfully, sneaking a glance at Changbin. You may be a bit naive, and maybe just a bit dense, but you can tell that it’s not whatever’s on his phone screen that’s making his face look like someone just challenged him to a fight. 

You’re shocked that he could ever be jealous- especially of Felix, who has a massive crush on Chan. You pointed it out to him all the time whenever he’d poke fun at your own crush. The only reason you knew you weren’t completely crazy for listening to 3RACHA’s stuff was because Felix was right next to you, one earbud in. 

Before you can say anything to assuage Changbin’s mild friend-jealousy, Jisung bursts through the door. “Americano~~! Joha, joha, joha!!” He sings, tossing a tupperware container at Changbin, his other hand occupied by what you suppose is an americano. 

“How’d you open the door?” 

“Talent, (y/n). Talent.” He moves to sit on Chan’s legs, the sudden weight jolting him awake. “Chaaaaaaan, it’s late. You should probably get back home so you can sleep in an actual bed.”

“What time is it?” He groans. You flash a glance at Felix, who wrinkles his nose at you. 

“About 9.” Changbin finally says, glancing up briefly from his phone. His fingers are typing furiously, and you really, really wanna know what he’s doing. 

“Damn.” Chan rubs his eyes, looking blearily around the room. His eyes land on Felix and immediately brighten. “Oh hey, Felix, didn’t know you’d be here.”

“Nah yeah, just wanted to drop off some food for (y/n).” His head bobbles for a few moments until you have to laugh at him. You pat his head, which catches Jisung’s attention. 

“Chan! Felix can walk you home to make sure you sleep!” He claps his hands together, which seems to seal the deal. Felix’s eyes dart to yours in a panic, your answering frantic nodding seemingly calming him down. 

Felix stands, taking Chan’s hand and helping him up off the couch (a completely gratuitous move, but you’ll let it slide for now). You hand Felix his jacket, and the two head out. They’re both bashful, but you have hope. You and Jisung make encouraging eye contact, happy about your two friends' possible bonding time. Once the door shuts behind Felix, Changbin brightens a bit. He tucks his phone in his pocket, back straightening and chin dropping. Oh, he definitely looks like he’s about to do his cute voice. 

“(Y/n)!! If you make us keep recording after this you’ll be the biggest meanie!” Changbin scoots to sit next to you, resting his head on your shoulder. You laugh at his sweet demeanor, patting his head delicately.

“Don’t worry, I just need a bit more work on the instrumental next week after we’ve had some time away from it. For now, I’m gonna try and get some other homework done, if that’s cool with you guys? You don’t have to stay here for that.” You dig through your backpack for a few different notebooks and three-ring-binders. You pause for a moment, grabbing a pen from your bag. “I haven’t, like, forced you guys to stay here longer than what you’ve wanted to out of politeness, right?”

Changbin wraps his arms around you while Jisung shakes his head. 

“We’re good at this type of stuff, so it’s not difficult work to be doing.” Jisung smiles.

“Plus, working with you is fun.” Changbin buries his face into your shoulder, his cold behavior suddenly forgotten. 

Jisung checks his watch, noticing the time. “Oh yeah, I’m having dinner with my boyfriend tonight.” He gathers his things, shoving them haphazardly into his backpack. “Changbin, I trust you to eat the food I bought, but please do some homework or something, man.” 

“Yeah, sure.” His voice is muted, but the vibrations against you feel like they’re echoing through your bones. 

“(Y/n), Changbin, be safe, I’ll see you guys later.” Jisung sends a peace sign your way, tossing his backpack over his shoulder and leaving. The door to the studio closes, leaving you and Changbin alone. 

Something stirs inside of you when he sighs contentedly, settling his arms around your waist. Your arms are just free enough to be able to write on the homework you brought with, so you do so. You shift around a bit so that Changbin can be more comfortable on your shoulder, but otherwise you leave him be. 

After a while, his body slackens and his breathing evens out. Carefully, oh so carefully, you take out your phone. Setting it on selfie mode, you take a few pics to send to your friends. First, you send it to Felix, asking for a cute pic of him and Chan in exchange. Next, you send it to your roommate group chat. Those poor girls have dealt with so much of your yearning, they might as well see how well you’re doing. 

You finish a few worksheets while Changbin peacefully sleeps on your shoulder. His hands slip a few times, but you quickly and gently shift him closer to you to prevent anything inappropriate. That’s totally the only reason. Yeah. Decency. 

It’s only when you start to mess around on Twitter does Changbin finally wake up. He snuggles into your shoulder a bit, squeezing you tight. When his eyes open, he barely looks ashamed. 

“Good nap there?” You ask. He nods, finally leaning away from you to stretch out. The cold breeze assaults your side, making you miss the feeling of him against you even more. “It’s like 11:30, by the way.”

“Thanks.” He smiles at you warmly, his fingers meeting his slightly flattened hair. He grimaces. “Guess it’s time for the beanie.” He digs through his bag, shoving the black fitted beanie onto his head quickly. 

“Do you keep that in your bag all the time?” 

“Yeah, I guess.” He shrugs. You knee scoot over to his bag.

“You have anything else fun in there?” You smile sweetly at him, the instinct to dig through other people’s stuff reigning supreme. He laughs.

“Not really. I guess I have a jacket.” Pause. “Why, do you wanna borrow it?”

“A little bit, it’s chilly in here.” You grab at your arms in mock-coldness, hoping he’ll get the message and just hand over the freakin’ jacket already. His enthusiasm gives you hope, and you shove your arms into the slightly too big Adidas track jacket. It smells like him and you never want to take it off.

“You can hang onto that till tomorrow or something, it’s kinda cold outside.” He shrugs, trying to be casual. Your urge to tease him becomes too strong.

“Are you sure you’re not gonna freeze to death out there with just your hoodie? Because it’s so cold and all.” You make sure to smile sarcastically enough for him to know you’re just teasing. He smirks, turning to face the corner of the room. “I just wanna make sure! You’ve got skinny legs, I just wanna make sure they’ll stay warm.” You let the joke settle a bit before moving on. “C’mon, man, help me clean up a little bit here.” You stand up, grabbing his arms to pull him into the middle of the studio. 

“What do I need to do? Most of this stuff is yours.” And yeah, fair. “Well, you could at least eat the food Jisung got you. So, uh, chop chop! Get to work!” Changbin laughs at your sudden booming tone, grabbing the takeout container and shoveling it down. 

You go over to the computers, saving all the files to the different hard drives around the soundboard. There’s one that Changbin brought, labelled ‘3RACHA’ and you want to snoop so badly. Instead, you innocently plug it in and create a new folder titled “(Y/n)’s beats/line recordings.” While the files are copying over and Changbin’s too busy eating, there’s no real harm in checking the names of the files anyways, right? 

Most of the immediate icons are just folders, organized surprisingly neatly. If you had more time you could dig a bit, but your guilt was already getting the best of you. You eject the hard drive as soon as the files transfer over, setting the piece of hardware aside. Adlibs. Finished tracks. Inspiration. Lyrics. Vocals. Once you and the three boys were on better terms you’d ask about the hard drive, but for now you push the thought to the side. 

“Are you ready to go?” You ask, picking up your heavy backpack. Changbin nods, grabbing his own things and tossing the empty takeout box in the small garbage can beside the door. 

“Hey, uh… Can I get your number? I don’t want to make you bring my jacket every day if we don’t run into each other for a bit.” His explanation is wordy and rushed, and your affection for him swells. 

“Yeah! You can put your number in my phone if you want.” You fiddle with your phone a bit, unlocking it for him and passing it over. He smiles as he types, but with the vibration of a notification, his face falls a bit. “What, did a friend text something weird to me? They do that sometimes, I’m sorry.”

“Nah, nah, it’s not that. It doesn’t matter.” He passes your phone back, a small smile on his face. “There you go, don’t worry about changing the name.” 

You laugh, the words ‘Binnie Binnie Baby <3’ plastered across the screen. You send a quick text to him (a small heart) so he has your number too. 

He walks you out of the building to your dorm, making sure you got home safely ‘like a real gentleman’ (Ryujin’s words, not yours). His dorm is just past your own, so you wish him goodnight awkwardly, opting for a small side hug before heading up to the suite your friends and you shared. 

As you waited in the ancient elevator (hey, if an elevator’s an option, you don’t take the stairs), you checked your phone. Waiting at the top was a text notification from Felix, preview text reading ‘cute pic for u!!! <3 <3’, the actual message containing an excited Felix curled up to what looks like Chan’s bare chest. Nothing else new waited for you except for your excitement.

Grinning devilishly at the new contact in your phone, you can’t wait to send him 3am memes. 

-

Midterms are hell on earth. Your temper is on a hairpin trigger, and there’s nothing you wouldn’t do for a nap. You go to bed thinking about music, have nightmares about deleting all your projects and presentations by accident, and wake up thinking about music. Your roommates have been really nice about giving you space, but also knowing when to step in and give you a hug or two. But one person - you love them to death, you keep telling yourself - keeps bothering you with affection when all you want to do is put on your headphones and concentrate. Felix. You love him most of the time, but sometimes his affection is… a little much. 

You’ve resorted to putting your phone in the bottom drawer of the dresser in your closet, setting your phone on silent unless absolutely necessary. Felix comes over anyways, which was nice when you just had a few things to do, but it was bothersome when you had three different papers you had to revise before midnight. Don’t get me wrong, you appreciate every gesture, every word of support, and you try and send that type of energy back to him whenever you get the chance. It’s just that selfish anger that won’t go away, even though you know it’s irrational. So, you know that you have to tell some body. 

You don’t actively seek out someone to complain to, it more just… comes out. Of course, it’s during a ‘best musical artist’ discussion between you and Changbin. Once he gave you his number, you’ve been lovingly bugging him with different songs he hasn’t heard yet, as well as barraging his phone with funny memes. Usually you just text, but lately, Changbin’s been calling you. It’s usually when it’s past midnight, and he’s, quote, “too lazy to move my fingers to text you.” You think it’s really cute, getting to hear his tired voice. He also does his cutesy stuff a lot, which leads to your own little giggle fits. 

This, then, has led to the current moment, with you on the phone at 1am.

“I just… He’s clingy. Y’know? I love him to death, but like, please… I’m taking way too many credits this semester.” You hear Changbin hum from the other end of the line. You sigh. “Sorry I keep complaining to you. I’ve bothered my roommates enough with this as is.”

“No, you’re fine, you’re fine. Just talk to me.” His voice soothes you, and you lean back flush against your bed. 

“I don’t really have anything else to say, honestly, except that I’m exhausted as hell and just want all these exams and presentations to be over.” You sigh again, wiggling into your blankets to make yourself comfortable. “I haven’t had, like, any time to actually hang out with my friends, either. Felix and I are hanging out tomorrow, but I see him like, all the time.” You shrug, as if he can see it. Pulling a section of your blanket up to your chest, you pretend like you’re cuddling someone, rather than just sitting alone in your room like a loser.

“Did you tell him that he’s being clingy?”

“Nah. I guess I can let him know tomorrow. I just don’t wanna hurt him, he’s so sweet to me all the time!” You think you can hear Changbin leaning away from the mic for a second, the sound of a pen coming through. “Are you writing something?” You smile, adding a sing-songy lilt to your voice.

“Yeah, but it’s not ready yet, so don’t ask.” He sighs. You guess it’s a sighing kind of night. “Sorry, I’m just trying to get the right mood for these lyrics, it’s not your fault, I promise.”

“Well, I can hang up, if you want. I shouldn’t be bothering you while you’re busy.”

“No, it’s fine.” He laughs a little, his voice rich and relaxing in the late night. “You being here keeps me productive.” 

You smile, and a comfortable silence settles over the call. You breathe, suddenly feeling the ache of loneliness from being isolated by your work for so long. You must make some sort of noise, because Changbin asks you what’s up.

“Nothing… Sorry, I just all of a sudden got all the side effects from working so hard, haha.” The laugh that leaves your mouth is strained, which you’re sure he notices. “I haven’t really hung out with someone other than Felix in a while, I’m just a bit lonely, I guess. I’ve gotten too used to cuddling with my friends.” You hear his breath catch a bit, and you hope you didn’t make him uncomfortable. You rub your face with an open palm, pressing into your eyes a bit. “Sorry. I’m tired.”

“Go to sleep, then. I’ll be at the arts building tomorrow if you wanna hang out after your and Felix’s date. I’ll even bring some food, so you’ll have to come!” His voice curls up into his cute register, and you have to smile. 

“I guess I do,” you strain your voice, sounding hesitant, “but you might have to get some bubble tea to really seal the deal.” Your mouth presses into a thin smile, barely holding back your laughter.

“Who knows, (y/n)? You’ll just have to come and see,” he teases. 

“Alright, alright. I’ll come hang out with you tomorrow. Goodnight, please go to sleep soon, you night owl.” You cuddle your blanket harder, grinning like a dummy.

“You’re one to talk.” The smile in his voice was blatant, and you really wanted to hold him close. “Goodnight, (y/n). See you tomorrow.” He hangs up first, and you spend a minute just looking at your phone screen. He said ‘date with Felix’... Weird.

-

Your lunch with Felix is nice, and you tell him about the whole clinginess thing. He’s surprisingly fine with it, constantly reassuring you that it’s fine, and that it’s really good that you’re telling him straight-up instead of just ghosting him. You’re relieved, and mention that you had gotten your advice from Changbin.

“Ha, yeah, he said something kinda weird, too. I told him we were gonna hang out, and he called it ‘a date’ ... I’m pretty sure he was joking, but like, c’mon, you are not straight.” You both laugh together a moment, before Felix fixes you with one of his ‘you’re not getting it’ looks. 

“He said it was a date? That’s the word he used?” Felix clarifies.

“Yes! I just thought he was poking fun at how much we hang out.” You shrug, taking another bite of your sandwich. “Cause like, we do hang out a lot. I think you’re just a masochist cause I bother you really well.” Felix sticks his tongue out at you, and you do the same back to him, your mouth full of sandwich. 

You sit in relative silence for a bit, just enjoying each others’ presence, as well as having some time not completely focused on schoolwork. You post a picture of Felix with his adorable little latte to your Snap story, getting a few replies back, mostly your roommates asking you to tell him good luck on his studying, and one Changbin sending pictures back of the studio soundboard. Felix sends you a few memes on Instagram, and you send a reaction image back. Felix pulls a face, making you laugh. Your laughter gets cut off, though, at the sudden ringing coming from your phone. It’s Moonbyul, and you quickly pick up, sending an apologetic look to Felix.

“What’s up?” You try not to sound concerned, since she usually texts you. 

“You wanna come hang out with us after midterms are over?” Us, of course meaning her, Solar, Hwasa, and Wheein. You nod in excitement, forgetting she can’t see you.

“I’d love to!! Should I bring anything?” 

“You can buy the pizza, we’ve got everything else we’ll need.” Of course she shunted pizza duty off to you. It wasn’t the hardest thing ever, but it meant you had to be the mediator between all the girls over which toppings to get. It was very friendship-straining, having to argue against some of the more obscure toppings. Oh well, you’d suffer that burden, if only to have something to look forward to after midterms.

“Fiiiiine. I’ll be there like, right after my last midterm ends at 2:30, so get ready to have me at your apartment for way too long.” You leave out the part about missing hanging out with them, missing feeling girly and beautiful with how they complimented you. When you hung out with the girls, you felt a renewed sense of self. Even though you didn’t usually wear a ton of makeup, Hwasa giving you a makeover while Wheein braided your hair made you feel special. You’d tell them about all the shitty things people had said to you the week previous, and they’d string together an appropriate length of cuss words. 

You’d tell them about your days in the studio, how the arts building was starting to become a second home. And it wasn’t just about your friends in the building, not at all. It was also about the freedom you felt being able to have the tools at your disposal to create anything you wanted to. It was about stringing something together and feeling gratification with your work; about singing with the right emotion and feeling so goddamned proud. Nothing beat the focus you gained when sitting in the uncomfortable chair at the mixing desk for hours on end, the same beat playing on your headphones until you tweaked it just right, and you felt the flow. 

You’d invited them to record with you a few times, and each time you were amazed with their voices. They’d sometimes stay to help you when the decisions between different versions became too miniscule, their feedback endlessly important. They’d usually leave you be, though, since when they were around you just wanted to hang out and talk.

So, it was nice to have a plan for being able to do just that- talk about nothing at all and eat pizza.

You hang up after saying your goodbyes, smiling weakly at Felix. “Sorry, had to take that.”

“Why would I be worried? I just witnessed the one and only (y/n) accept an invitation to a party! Should I get jealous, in my very important position as your lunch date? Who invited you?” He leans closer and closer over the table, his eyes bright with mischief. You swat at him, giggles bubbling up out of your chest.

“It was Moonbyul, I’m gonna hang out with her and the girls after midterms. Don’t worry, no one’s gonna steal me away from you, schmuckums!” Your arm zips out, grabbing hold of his cheek and pinching hard. You coo random terms of endearment at him as he struggles to get out of your grasp. You decide to be nice and let him go. Felix rubs his cheek gently, pouting delicately. “Oh, don’t be a baby! I only pinched you a little bit!”

“Just you wait,” he brings out his deep voice, aiming for ominous but landing at ASMR, “just you wait till I catch you doing something cute, then you’ll really get it.” 

You laugh. “Am I not cute all the time?” Felix drops his angsty persona then, laughing.

“Sure, you tell yourself that.”

“Augh! You-!!” You grab your drink, wiggling it aggressively at him. You take a sip, eyeing him dangerously. The sound of setting the cup against the table is harsh, and you decide to reply. “I am always cute, and I have multiple sources to back me up on that.”

“Like Changbin?” Felix winks. 

“You don’t have to bring him into this discussion, Lee Felix! You’re trying to change the subject!” You try to remain serious, but giggles bubble out of your throat regardless.

“You’d make him your background if you thought you could, (y/n), I know you have enough pictures for it.” 

“I sent you two-” you hold up two fingers for emphasis, “two!! Two pictures with the caption new lockscreen? and you slander me like this? Ugh. You’re not my lunch date anymore. I’ll just become bff’s with Bang Chan, no biggie.” You cross your arms, tilting your head towards the rest of the café, waiting for Felix’s indignant mumblings. Just as you thought, you hear several starts and stops to several sentences before he settles on,

“Can we drop this?”

Which, okay, makes you stop. “What do you mean?” You drop the act and turn back to him, eyebrows furrowed and head tilted.

“Well, after we cuddled that night, it’s been a little awkward? I don’t think either of us knows what we’re doing.” He pauses. Frowns. “I don’t even know if he’s gay or bi or anything.” His eyes turn to you, vulnerable and wide. “What if it was just a friend thing and I’m reading into it too much? Oh God…” He buries his face in his hands.

“Felix, I don’t think it was a friend thing. Especially because he was shirtless! Who cuddles shirtless with their friends?” You pose it as a rhetorical. He answers anyways, voice muffled and embarrassed.

“...Me…”

“Felix…” You huff a laugh through your nose, not at all surprised. Felix is cuddly, you already knew that. It wouldn’t surprise you at the sheer number of people who thought he was flirting with them, only to find out that he just really loves everyone. But this was a bit different. It was him going over to Chan’s apartment to cuddle, not the other way around. Chan is close with his friends, but not that close. “I’ll find out for you. It’s a little less suspicious, and I don’t want the studio turning into your makeout zone the first time you both confess.” You tease a smile out of him, which was your goal. He doesn’t seem too downtrodden after your little pep talk, and quickly goes back to stealing your chips and sending you memes. 

Looking down at your phone, you notice a few new notifications. A missed call and a text from Changbin, the latter reading, ‘sorry you’re probably busy. boba order?’ You text him back, adding a few apologetic emojis and a little heart. You show Felix, who coos in response. You flick a crumb from your empty plate at him. It lands in his hair. Hell yeah, you really showed him!

You part soon after that, realizing the time. Felix had plans with some projects of his own, and you had to meet up with Changbin before your theoretical-boba gets too warm. You ignored Felix’s exaggerated winks as you both went your separate ways, pushing him lovingly away. For how much you’re bugged by him, you love him twenty times more.

-

“I!” You announce, stepping into the only studio blasting music, “was promised boba!!” Changbin’s posture immediately relaxes at the sight of you, the serious RBF you diagnosed him with (but don’t want to tell him about) melting away into a little smile. He pulls out his phone, typing away.

“I’ll order some right now.” He looks up and appraises you, looking pleased. “I didn’t know when you’d come, I thought you and Felix were gonna hang out for a lot longer than an hour.” 

“We see each other a lot, plus I was really excited to have you look at some of my final drafts!!” You bounce a bit on the balls of your feet, so excited to be done with all these big projects. “You’ll really like what I did with the sample we all worked on a few weeks back…” You dig through your bag to find the flash drive of music, and the both of you set off to work. Once the boba comes, you can confidently say it’s the best afternoon of the week. When you try and leave, he grabs your hand to drag you back, pulling up something he wants you to look over. He doesn’t let go. When the both of you do finally leave, the wind bites through your long sleeve shirt with ease. Changbin hands you his black hoodie without a word. 

-

Once midterms end, you can finally feel your back muscles functioning properly again. You run out of the building at full speed, carefully weaving through the crowds of stressed students all the way to your friend’s dorm. You feel fairly confident about most of what you’ve done the past few days, but being done with it at all makes the enormous weight come off your chest. After an over-excited elevator ride, you tap-tap-tap at your friends’ apartment door. The door opens slowly, and you burst through. 

“Holy fuck!” You yell, stepping past an exhausted Wheein. “I’m done!” You toss your bag onto the floor by the shoe rack as you enter, kicking off your shoes before landing face-first onto their (shockingly nice) couch. You turn your head to the side so you can see the rest of the room. Solar’s on her phone, Hwasa has a few textbooks and a notebook in front of her, Moonbyul is probably still at class, and Wheein was probably watching TV on the couch before you stole her spot. “You’re not done yet? Sorry.” You direct at Hwasa, legitimately feeling bad for rubbing it in her face that you’re done, but she just waves a hand.

“It’s fine. I’m leaving soon, and then it’s my last midterm before we can actually party.” You hum in approval, watching her work. 

Wheein carefully adjusts your legs so she can sit down with them across her lap. You’re lulled into a peaceful nap as the adrenaline of being done (for now) wears off. 

Hwasa wakes you up by landing squarely on your back, shocking you into consciousness. 

“Oh good, you’re awake.”

“HWASA. I CAN’T…” You huff a laugh, pretending to choke, “BREATHE… AUGH… TOO… MUCH… TALENT….” She gets off your back, finally, laughing lightly. Moonbyul’s back from her midterms. She’s sitting on the floor behind Solar, cradling her close to her chest, watching whatever game Solar’s playing on her phone. You sit up, cracking your neck a bit to wake yourself up. 

“What’s the game plan? Should I order pizza right now?” 

“Yeah,” Solar answers, “we have some wine and strawberries in the kitchen. Oh yeah, also some cookies.” Wheein runs into the kitchen to grab the snacks, bundling them in her arms.

Hwasa occupies Wheein’s old spot next to you, crowding close. “Soooo... “

“Sooo?”

“I heard you have an admirer!” She grins, squeeing a bit at your eye roll. “So it’s true!!” She points at you, “you’d never just eye roll at something you know is wrong!” 

“Who’s the lucky guy?” Solar looks up from her phone, leaning back into Moonbyul. She says the usually sarcastic phrase genuinely, which is shockingly nice. You crack under the pressure of your friends' excitement. 

“His name’s Changbin, he’s a vocal and dance performance double major. He’s in the studios all the time, so, we, uh, hang out a lot.” You smile, trying not to say too much sappy shit. Hwasa raises her eyebrows suggestively.

“ Hang out, you say?” She sends a wink your way, only for her face to fall slightly. “Wait. Changbin? Does he rap?” You nod. “Ohhh, he’s in one of my choral ensembles! He’s nice, but he never brings a pencil.” She raises her eyebrows, eyes widening as if to say, be careful.

“Shush!! He’s nice. And you don’t bring a pencil either.” Moonbyul and Solar laugh a little, Wheein holding hers back.

“And? This guy has to prove himself so that he can date our friend. I’ll give him a pass on the short thing, you always like short guys.”

“Hey!! It was one guy!” You had told them about a boyfriend you had for a few months in high school, and they had gotten overly attached to the fact that he was short. The height didn’t matter; it’s the confidence. 

“And now here’s a second. That’s a pattern!” Hwasa’s trying to sound passionate and mad, but her bright smile makes the tone impossible. You swat her away, running into the safe haven of the bathroom so you can order some pizza. 

When you finally leave the bathroom, you pull up some movie you’ve all seen and chat about the first half of the semester. Most of you already have projects and assignments due the week after, but you’d let yourselves have this small reprieve. You all laugh lovingly at Solar’s account of a man asking her to buy him a fancy coffee drink because she “just looks that nice,” her girlfriend swatting her arm playfully at her trusting nature. Wheein sings part of a solo for her vocal lessons, and her voice makes you feel at home. Moonbyul and Solar are planning on getting matching tattoos, and the rest of you pretend to gag. Hwasa talks about all the new lipstick colors she’s gonna get when she passes her midterms, which you all approve of greatly. 

And so, the focus shifts back to you.

“Do you have his number?”

“Yeah, we talk sometimes.” You tuck your phone deep in your hoodie pocket.

“Does he ever send those ‘wyd’ texts? If he does, I’ll punch him for you.”

“Is that his hoodie?”

“Aww, that’s so cute!!”

“Guys! Oh my God!” You feel smothered in the best way. Your face lights up like a traffic light. “No, he hasn’t sent any wyd’s, and yes this is his hoodie.” You burrow into the warm material a bit deeper, still smelling some of the residual cologne. “I don’t think it’s romantic, though. He’s just nice.”

Moonbyul gapes at you. “Are you being dense on purpose? You do like this guy, right?”

“Well, yeah. I don’t want to misread the signs, y’know?” Your fingers curl around the loose black cuffs, fetid self-doubt crawling it’s way up your throat. Your friends catch on immediately.

“(Y/n), this isn’t just him teasing, or him just being nice.” Solar gets up, kneeling in front of your spot on the couch. “He clearly cares, especially because he has the time to be jealous, too.” Her smile brightens at your visible confusion. “I’ve seen you guys in the common area- any guy that tried to flirt with you has had to go through him.” 

“What guys?” This wasn’t self-doubt denseness, this was genuine confusion. When had Changbin ever been jealous of random dudes in the arts building?

“The sweet guy that we had a class with last semester, Yukhei, he tried to talk to you when you were chatting with me last week. You helped me with some music transcription.”

“Oh yeah!” You think, remembering Yukhei and Changbin talking near the vending machines. You just thought that they had some class together too, not that Changbin was defending your honor or whatever. “How’d you know he was gonna try to hit on me?”

“As soon as the both of you left, he sat with me. I’d say poor guy, but he almost seemed to know Changbin was coming.” Solar leans back on her heels, smiling at you. “He said that Changbin told him to get lost. And if he tried anything and he ended up hurting you, he’d end up with much worse.” A bit violent of him, but he had seemed a bit angry that afternoon. It was only after petting his hair while he worked that he finally calmed down. 

“Oh.” Your chest warms. The self-doubt slides away back into the depths. Goosebumps raise on your hoodied arms. Why didn’t he say anything? “What do I do, then?” 

“Well, tell him, dummy!” Wheein tosses a strawberry at you, clearly frustrated.

“What do you meeeaaaan! When am I supposed to do that? We’re either working on something or too tired to say anything coherent.” You pout.

“Call him right now!” Solar digs your phone out from the pocket of your (his) hoodie, wiggling it in your face. You push it away.

“I can’t, he’s been recording stuff with his friends the past few days. I can’t bug them when they’re focused like that.” You roll the strawberry in your fingers, picking off the leaves.

“What’s he recording?” Moonbyul presses. 

“...He might be part of a band.” You sigh, holding back an awkward laugh. “It’s a Soundcloud rap group.”

Moonbyul’s eyes widen, a grin overtaking her face. “You have to show us, please! I need to hear this.”

“Before you guys critique me, I heard most of their stuff before really crushing on Changbin, so I do genuinely like the music.” You unlock your phone, opening the Soundcloud app before your friends grab your phone to dig through your gallery too. “Oh, what?” You murmur. There’s a new song on the 3RACHA page- NXT 2 U . 

“What’s up?” Hwasa leans over your shoulder, spotting the 2 hours ago timestamp. “Ah! Listening party!!” She jumps up and down, occasionally smacking your shoulders. “(Y/n)’s boyfriend posted a new song!! I’ll go get my speaker.” As soon as she’s there, she’s gone. She comes back triumphantly, red speaker in hand. “Let’s go.”

So, you do. You load up the song and listen close. The slow, smooth beat takes you off guard. Most of their stuff is fairly tough, so this is an interesting change. But then, the lyrics start. 

You’re lying, you hate him too,

I want you instead of anything else

Oh God, it’s a love song. Or, a jealous one at that. Holy shit. For once, you curse at your growing ability to recognize sung lyrics in Korean. Your jaw continues to drop throughout the song, but your creeping sense of understanding dawns fully at Changbin’s verse.

Yesterday you called me again, whenever there’s conflict between you two

Restless, you talk behind his back all night

Then the next day you plan to meet up

The girls turn to look at you, their faces expectant, waiting. You look around, your mouth wide open. Your late-night, giggle-filled calls with Changbin take a new light. This song’s about you.

Even the small things, I like it all I don’t expect anything no more

I’m finished getting ready to give it to you

You’re suddenly realizing that it was a bad idea to not tell the guys that you listen to their stuff on Soundcloud. Shock, surprise, a little bit of honor, and above all, confusion go through your brain. Did he really think you were dating someone? Who the hell would you be dating to make him think like this? Just like every realization you’ve had about this stupid song, you feel smacked in the face with the truth.

Felix. He thinks you’re dating Felix. 

Your heart probably wasn’t real between us, but my heart wants you

You’re my standard, now and always, I need you

“Holy shit, what the fuck.” You finally say. “This… This changes things.” You collect yourself a bit, all of a sudden very aware that you’re wearing Changbin’s hoodie. It comforts you, though. To know the truth. 

Your friends on the other hand, are still pretty much in the dark. “What the fuck was that?” Hwasa exclaims after the song fades out. “You can’t even pretend to say he doesn’t like you back after all that.” 

“Are you secretly dating someone else and we didn’t know?” Wheein asks. The corner of her mouth is upturned, a questioning eyebrow shot your way.

“Well, ah, Changbin might have thought that Felix and I are dating. Just a little.” Your shoulders crush close to your neck, your ears nearly steaming from the amount of embarrassment and excitement you feel. Solar smiles a little, head tilted in mock confusion.

“How is that boy just as dense as you?” She says, gaining a laugh from her girlfriend.

“I think he saw us cuddling and hanging out all the time as dating stuff, plus we text each other hearts all the time. It’s not my fault!” You pull your hood up to cover your face, only to get your nose assaulted by Changbin’s smell. You feel a little less guilty about liking the smell so much.

“They really are made for each other. Now are you gonna run to him and confess right now, or are we gonna plan something out?” Moonbyul grabs a notebook from her backpack nearby, clicking a pen. “Let’s brainstorm.”

The pizza comes, ideas start flowing, and you can’t stop blushing. The ideas range from overly cheesy - flower petals in a heart shape - to the absurd - freestyle dance. You guess that some of their answers were just to lighten the mood and make you laugh, which you appreciated. Solar suggests gifting him sexy lingerie and you all lose your minds laughing, mostly because your friends don’t want to imagine an acquaintance like that. 

“But you wouldn’t mind at all, would you, (y/n)?” Hwasa winks, still laughing.

“I really wouldn’t, but I don’t think you guys would care to hear about those particular thoughts.” You laugh, thinking of something funny but true. You push past your embarrassment to continue, “especially after hearing how possessive he is.” The room ooo’s, swatting your legs lightly.

“You can’t talk like that! Once you actually get him, then we can have this discussion.” Wheein crosses her arms, pouting cutely. 

“I swear,” you cross your fingers over your heart, “that once I get hickies, I’ll show you guys.” The room erupts into peals of bright laughter. 

-

The plan is set in place. All you need to do now is execute it. You wait at a bench nearby your university, public park behind you and bag of picnic supplies in hand, a blanket over your arm. Your heart races as you watch Changbin walking towards you, skipping gleefully with a bright smile painted over his face when he spots you. The text you sent earlier that day was simple enough, ‘picnic today?’ and the day was cheery enough, the weather behaving perfectly for a nice Saturday. The knowledge of what you’ve put in your cloth picnic bag has your anxiety spiking, but Changbin’s flushed face in your view has you calm again.

“Hey! Do you wanna set all this up somewhere, or is the picnic gonna be on the bench?” His sweet smile pierces you, and you have to smile back.

“Yeah, let’s find somewhere good. I don’t wanna bother the families with our rampant cursing and terrible, terrible youthly energy.” You wiggle your fingers close to his face, chuckling at his crossed eyes. 

You find a nice spot under a tree away from the bulk of the other college students and families. The blanket fans out nicely in the grass, but as soon as you have it down, Changbin jumps on top of it, spreading his limbs to each corner of the blanket. “You comfy there, buddy?” He nods. “Good. You can take a lil nap, and I’ll eat all the yummy food I made!” He jolts up at that, grabbing the leg of your pants.

“Pleaseeeee! Can I have a little?” He pouts. It’s very convincing. “You invited me all the way out here just to eat everything yourself?” 

You shove a bottle of soda at him in retaliation. “Here, you hungry monster. Hang on, I’ll grab some more stuff in a second.” He squeals in joy as he cradles the bottle, rocking backwards onto his back in the process. You continue to unpack the bag, cute little food containers stacking up on the edge of the blanket. You leave one last item in the bag for later. Its presence reminds you of your original purpose here. Confessing.

You’re wearing Changbin’s black hoodie again, this time for confidence. If he turns you down, though, you can rip that band aid off right away and give back the hoodie. Lia and Yeji told you that would never happen, while Yuna, Chaeryeong, and Ryujin just shook their heads at your apparent dumbassery. The worn sleeves from constant worrying and sliding against the dance room floors comfort you; their pattern unique and storied, just like Changbin. 

Ugh, now I’m getting too romantic, you think. Time to power through.

The actual lunch portion goes well, your bickering and joking interrupting the actual eating. Both of you only tip over one soda bottle each, so you’d consider that a success. It’s when things are wrapping up that you realize it’s now or never. The sun shines brightly on Changbin’s face, putting bright stars in the depths of his brown eyes. You take a deep breath.

“So I uh, actually wanted to tell you something.” You lean back on your palms, struggling to keep eye contact.

“Yeah? What’s up?” He tilts his head to the side, bright smile pulling into something more serious.

“Um…” You suddenly feel the urge to pull back, to hide behind the safe wall you’ve been behind this whole time. The comfort of having a crush versus knowing whether or not it’s reciprocated. You think back to all the time the both of you have spent in the studio, simply existing in the same space. If things go badly, you’ll miss that. But it’s the idea that there may be more that keeps you pushing onwards. You push your shoulders back, take a deep breath, and ignore the fiery ball of anxiety inside your gut as you continue. “Felix and I aren’t dating.”

“What?” His eyebrows furrow, mouth setting angrily. “Why’d he break up with you, that jerk?” 

You have to laugh a little, at the very least at his heartwarming trust in you. To him, you must have looked like a devoted partner, when in reality you were just really close friends (which is all you want to be with Felix, that memey boy). 

“No, Changbin, we were never dating. He’s gay.” Watching the emotions flicker across Changbin’s face is more entertaining than any movie. He’s clearly doing mental backflips trying to figure things out, confusion, shock, excitement, and even more confusion. 

“You- what?” He settles on. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, we were never dating. Have never dated, will never date.” You list each item off on your fingers. The two of you sit in silence for a few moments, suddenly aware once again of where you are. The birds are still chirping, children are still yelling, and Changbin is still thinking. He crosses his arms and looks at you quizzically.

 “So… What does this have to do with me?” It’s a leading question, but a fair one. You’re both hopeful, it seems.

“I should also tell you that I listen to 3RACHA stuff on Soundcloud.” You pause, letting him connect the dots. He goes red in the face immediately.

“You weren’t- I’m sorry!” He bows his head a little, awkward laughing. “You didn’t- please say you didn’t see what I think you did. I can leave.” He starts to stand, but you pull him back down by the sleeve.

“Dummy, don’t go! I have stuff to say to you first.” You sit up straight and take a deep, centering breath. You hold eye contact with Changbin as long as he can stand it. “I think we’ve both been a little dense here.” Here goes nothing. “I like you. A lot.” You can’t look at him anymore so you fix your gaze on a patch of grass just beside Changbin. “I’d be cool if we just stayed friends, but after the whole song thing, plus my long-term crush, I’d be cool with ah, with more. If you want to.”

“(Y/n), you are just-!” His voice is curled up with cuteness and you have to look back at him. His hands are curled up under his chin, his bright smile and starry eyes back on his face. His ears are bright red as he squees. 

“Oh, wait!” You scramble for the cloth bag you set beside the tree, digging through it to find your piece de resistance- a stuffed bear with little teal hearts on its tan surface (to match his Gyu doll, but you wouldn’t tell him that you knew about that). You present it to him, biting the insides of your cheeks anxiously. “This is for you.”

Changbin looks at you. Looks at the bear. Looks back at you. His ears turn an even brighter shade of red, smile widening impossibly. He screams a little bit, finally grabbing the bear from your hands. He cuddles it close to his chest, burying his face in the fabric at the top of the head. You giggle at the display, his excitement leaking out from his bouncing legs.

“So are you gonna say anything?” You get out through your giggles. He stops then, snapping his head up to meet your eyes. 

“Can I go out with you? Then I can cuddle you and this bear forever!” He lunges at you, wrapping his arms around your shoulders. The bear drops into your lap and is squished against your torso, Changbin’s face pressing perfectly into your neck. 

“Yes, we can go out. I guess we could even call this a date if we wanted to.” You wrap your arms around his torso, finally unafraid of running your hands through his hair and down his back. He relaxes into you, moving so that he’s sitting beside you rather than hovering on top of you. He presses greedily into your side, and you never want to let him go. 

“Now I feel a little mean, haha.” Changbin chuckles awkwardly, pressing his face into your side. “I should apologize to Felix… Sorry about all that, by the way.” You scratch at his head a bit, smiling.

“I think he knew, to be honest with you. You should still apologize, though. Get him Chan’s number and you’re in the clear.” You pause, breathing in the fresh air. “Oh yeah, is he straight?” 

Changbin shakes his head, mumbling into your (his) hoodie. “No, he’s bi.” He raises his head out of the fabric. “Why, what’s up?” You stare at him, waiting for him to connect the dots. “Oh. Oh! Okay, I get it.” You laugh at him teasingly, poking your finger in his face. “Sorry!! I’m just so lovestruck right now that I can’t think!!” He resumes his previous position: arms wrapped around your torso, face buried in your shoulder, legs pressed against your own. 

-

You walk from the park hand in hand, the bear safely tucked away in your picnic bag. You’re both walking back to Changbin’s apartment to hang out, a little bit of anxiety peeking it’s way back out of your chest. You grip Changbin’s hand tighter, pressing into his side. 

“What’s up, baby?” The term of endearment rolls off his tongue as his thumb caresses the back of your hand. “You wanna go home?”

“No, it’s not that. I’m just… nervous, I guess.” You breathe. “I’ve met all your friends, but in a different context. Now I have to be cool around them so I can prove myself!” 

Changbin scoffs. “They’re a lot less cool than you think they are, (y/n). If anything, they’ll have to try and be cooler for you.” He looks over at you briefly, his eyes shining with adoration. It’s too bright for you and you have to look away. You distract yourself by dragging the both of you to a street vendor, buying some tea. 

The both of you sit at a small table nearby, just enjoying each other’s presence. You take the opportunity to stare at him, compliment him, and fiddle with his hands. “You’re pretty. D’y’know that?” He blushes crimson under your watchful gaze. He ducks his head a little, covering the lower half of his face with his sweater-covered hand. 

“Not as pretty as you.” His voice barely comes through his sleeve, making him that much cuter. 

“Aaaawwwww, you’re such a sweetie, Binnie!!” You wack lightly at his side, taking immense comfort in his small giggles. You lean back in your chair, fiddling with your phone. You take a few cute pictures of the both of you, with only a few having Changbin’s aegyo poses in them. You change your lockscreen to one of the sneaky pictures you took of him a few weeks back, and get reminded of something in the process.

Btw, Chan’s bi. GET IT, BOIIIII!!  

Felix reads the message immediately, replying with some hearts and laughing emojis.

Aren’t you on your date with Changbin???? How’s it going???

Changbin’s chair squeals against the pavement as he scoots next to you, resting his head gently on your shoulder, focusing his attention on his own phone. You smile.

He said yes <3 also he’s gonna try to apologize to you later, so please be kind! I think you guys’ll be good friends :-)

“Are you texting Felix right now?” Ok, so he wasn’t focusing entirely on his own phone. Oh well. You pat his head, nodding.

“You’ll have to apologize to him soon. Get him some rice cakes and ice cream and all will be forgiven.” Changbin hums, nuzzling into your shoulder. You suddenly realize you’re still in public. “We should probably get back to your dorm, yeah?” 

“Aughh, sure.” You laugh as Changbin grabs your hand, lurching out of his chair and back onto the sidewalk. 

-

“I’M HOME, (Y/N)’S WITH ME!” Changbin yells into the apartment, kicking off his shoes and leading you quickly through the living room.

You knew Changbin had a few roommates, so you tried to not act shocked at seeing six boys piled in the living room. They start teasing him immediately, cheering. You wave to Jisung and Chan, who wave back. 

“Are you gonna introduce her to us?” Jisung yells, the troublemaker. Changbin sighs loudly.

“ Fine. (Y/n), the second cutest boy in the room is Jeongin, the one in the neat button-up is Seungmin, the long haired one is Hyunjin, you already know Jisung, the cat t-shirt one is Minho, and you already know Chan.” He takes a big breath, dragging you out towards his bedroom. “We’ll talk later!! Byeeee!” You laugh, letting him whisk you away.

He closes the door behind the two of you, the sudden thought that you’re now alone in Changbin’s room hitting you. Distracting yourself from that fact is the only way you’ll be able to stop yourself from stealing all his clothes and jumping his bones. “So… Who exactly do you room with?”

“Just Chan. Minho and Jisung have their own place; Hyunjin, Seungmin and Jeongin share another apartment.” He tosses his keys onto his messy desk, looking at you nervously. “So, uh.. what now?” He smiles sheepishly, hands burying themselves into his pockets.

He’s so cute you can’t stand it. “We can watch movies and chill, if you want. Maybe get something for dinner later.” You shrug. 

Changbin lights up, back straightening and shoulders squaring. “Oh! I can grab snacks. Wait here one second.” He books it out of the room, closing the door behind him. Technically, you could still leave and socialize with his friends, but you also want to explore Changbin’s room.

It’s messy of course, an extension cord sitting on his bed with a few chargers plugged in. You spot Gyu in the corner, sitting comfortably. You smile softly at the doll, digging through your picnic bag to fish out Changbin’s new stuffed animal. You place it next to Gyu gently. 

The dark gray duvet is messy on his bed, the heady dude-smell heavy as you sit down. His desk is right across from his bed, his laptop half open, screen dark. Pens and notebooks are scattered around the work space, along with a baggie of dried fruit. His school backpack is hanging off the back of the chair, the main zipper slightly opened. 

Directly next to his bed is the nightstand. There’s a pretty generic lamp, a few trinkets, and some post-its stuck haphazardly. You take a closer look, one of the post-its reading, <3 <3 lunch with (y/n) at 12 <3 <3. He’s absolutely too adorable for his own good. You leave a note of your own, reading, <3 <3 <3 date with changbinnie at 12 <3 <3 <3.

You’re about to raid his closet when Changbin comes back into the room, two bowls balanced delicately in his arms. “I just realized I didn’t clean up. Hope I didn’t leave anything weird out by accident.” He laughs awkwardly, sitting down on the bed next to you. You grab the two bowls, setting them on the nightstand before climbing into his lap. He gasps a little, hands landing comfortably on your waist.

“Tell me no and I’ll get off. I just want to be close to you.” You sigh as his arms wrap tighter around your torso.

“You think I’d want to say no to you like this, baby?” His voice feels like it’s gotten an octave deeper, and it affects you more than you thought it would. You bury your head in his neck, wrapping your arms around his shoulders.

He moves slightly, adjusting the both of you sideways. He mumbles something about it being more comfortable, but you can’t hear him much over your excitement. You slide a leg between his to get a bit more comfy, looping your arms tight around his torso. The both of you are pressed nose-to-nose, you realize when you look up into his face. His blush is apparent, and yours probably is as well. You press a brief kiss to his forehead, loving the squeak that comes out. 

Fuck it, you think, too enamored with his cute, cute face for you to hold back. You lean forward slowly, making sure to give him enough time to back out if he wanted to. Instead, his eyes shine like stars as you press your lips to his, a sigh leaving your mouth. You can feel the corners of his mouth turning up as he presses further against you. Seconds feel like an eternity, but you never want to leave this moment. Finally being here with him has done away with all your old feelings of longing, replacing them with contented affection. You separate from him slowly, pressing a few chaste kisses to the corners of his mouth when you can’t hold yourself back. His quiet giggles warm your heart as you’re finally able to pull away.

You smile at him, your heart warming at his own. Your fingers trace small shapes on Changbin’s back, slowly sneaking down to the small sliver of flesh of his exposed back. Your fingers slip under his shirt, pressing down a bit on each vertebrae of his spine you pass. He shivers against you, his fingers tightening in your (his) hoodie. His eyes have closed and he probably hasn’t even realized it yet. His front teeth are buried in his bottom lip, breath steady. His cheeks are bright, bright red, and you want to know how far down his blush goes. 

He’s absolutely beautiful. You want to tell him, but you can’t find an easy way to start. So, instead, you lie there, holding your stunningly gorgeous boyfriend, running soothing fingers up and down his spine until his bottom lip slips out from his teeth’s hold and his grip on you relaxes. Only then do you let something small out, something quiet before slipping into a comfortable sleep.

“I love you.”

-

“Can you guys like... I dunno... Sound cool?” You ask helplessly, head buried in your hands at the mixing table. The tracks are up in front of you, and you know that there’s something missing. Something. So instead of trying to suss it out on your own, you’ve decided to annoy Chan and Changbin into doing random stuff for the past 30 minutes. 

Partially, you’re stalling. Felix is still about 10 minutes away, and you can’t wait for him to whisk Chan away. It’s been a week since you and Changbin have started dating, and it only took three days of pestering to get Felix to ask out his own crush. After Chan leaves the studio, he’s going on a picturesque date with Felix down to the Han River, but he doesn’t know that yet. He’s prepared himself for a dinner date down the street, whereas Felix has taken every single one of Chan’s cliched, hopeless romantic dreams, and turned them into one date. You’ve checked the itinerary he made as a half-joke, and even if the guy didn’t have a crush on him before, there’s no way he wouldn’t after. 

Alas, there’s only so many silly voices two easily-embarrassed college guys can do before it gets painful. If Jisung were here it would be a lot easier, but him and Minho were also on a date right now. Sigh, young love. You couldn’t complain too much though- as soon as Chan leaves, you’re pulling Changbin into your lap until you finish mixing your latest creation.

That is, as soon as you get whatever vocal you still need to make it sound complete.

“If I scream like Jeongin do you think that’d be good?” Changbin asks, teasing smile pulling at his lips.

“Maybe we could, uh, fake fight or something?” Chan suggests. That... actually isn’t too bad of an idea. 

“Go ahead, I’ll record for as long as it goes.” You give them the okay. 

They start a little awkward, light shoving almost turning into bear hugs and tickles until you glare at the both of them. They get back to it, actually sounding pretty genuine. Yells loud enough to bother people passing through the hallway, even a few no! ’s that startle you. By the time you cut it off, you could probably distort the audio a bit and use it for a cool transition. Perfect.  

“You guys were great!! I’ll stop torturing you now, c’mon out.” Laughter is startled out of you at the boys’ loud groans. They race each other out the door, Changbin’s arms wrapping lovingly around your neck as soon as he reaches you, his head resting on top of your own. His fingers press lightly into the hickeys hiding beneath your shirt at your collarbone, his light giggles barely audible. 

“Fine, fine, I’ll leave.” Chan relents, grabbing his things. “Lix should be here soon, so I won’t be abandoned for too long.” There’s some anxiety in his voice, and even though you know everything will go well, you want to calm him.

“Have fun on your date, Channie! Ask to hold his hand right away, he’ll love that. Also, compliment his freckles.” You turn your head to meet his gaze, smiling. He laughs.

“I already do that, though.”

“Oh good! Then you’re perfect.” You try to convey some calming energy to him through your smile, knowing that nothing could go wrong. Some of it must come through, seeing that Chan gives his own uneasy smile back. 

“Okay lovebirds, don’t trash the studio while I’m gone.” He tosses his bag over his shoulder, opening the door.

“No promises~!” Changbin teases, giggling at Chan’s groan as the door shuts softly behind him. There are a few beats of silence while you enjoy the warm press of Changbin’s chest against your back. You can almost feel his heartbeat, but there’s a much better way available than your current position.

You carefully unwrap Changbin’s arms from around your neck, moving and positioning him to sit in your lap. He wiggles a bit, settling himself in. He grabs your arms, wrapping them around himself and squeezing your hands lovingly. You kiss the back of his neck, the sensation shocking a small noise out of him. 

“I do actually have to work a bit, so... get comfy.” Changbin nods, moving around a bit so you can see the screen. One hand leaves his waist, but you tuck the other hand under his shirt to make up for that loss. Your palm presses warmly against his twitching stomach, your ache to be closer to the boy slightly assuaged. 

It takes a bit of time, but you make some progress. Changbin gives feedback while messing around on his phone, typing something you can’t quite see. Looking at the time, you decide to not sit in the studio all night. You’d much rather do music theory worksheets in Changbin’s embrace back at your own apartment than stare at the same track hopelessly for the next seven hours. So, you save your progress and load it onto your flash drive. Closing tabs, though, has reminded you of something.

“Binnie...” You start, pulling up the 3RACHA flash drive folders, “can I look at these?”

He only looks up for a second before going back to his phone. “Yeah, go ahead.”

Besides the folder you made yourself, you have no idea what’s in the other folders. Among the titles staring back at you, you’re most interested in his inspiration folder. The lyrics folder could be looked at another day, since he shows you a lot of them anyways. You double-click on the folder and see a mix of image files and text files. One of the image files was added last night. Huh. You click it open, only to see your own face staring back at you. It’s a picture you knew Changbin was taking of you- your homework, notes, and textbooks scattered around the floor around you. You’re wearing another one of his hoodies and a pair of sweats, a lazy peace sign pressed against your face. 

You must let out some sort of noise, because suddenly Changbin starts squirming, trying to grab the mouse from you. “No, you- I’m sorry, it’s weird, I-” 

You grab his chin with one hand, squishing his cheeks until his lips puff out. You turn him around on your lap, removing your hand from his face to rest on his thigh. He won’t look at you, choosing to stare at the ceiling instead, but at least he’s still in your lap.

“Changbin.” Your voice is hard as you address him, and you want to hold him close forever when you see a small flinch. “Changbin, look at me.” His eyes are slow to pull back to yours, but they do anyway.

“Please don’t break up with me.” His voice is so small you want to cry. You decide to soften your act a bit.

“Sweetheart, I wouldn’t do that.” Tension melts from his shoulders, and you rub his thighs soothingly to try to calm him down. “Baby, how much of this folder is about me?” 

His eyes roam the room again, thinking. “Uhh, maybe about half?” He cringes, an awkward smile plastered on his face like a mask. “I’m sorry, I’ll delete them. I know it’s weird.”

“Binnie. Look at me again, please.” You grin when he finally looks at you again. “I think it’s really sweet, and I love that you find inspiration from me like I do with you.” 

“Oh thank God,” he mutters, collapsing into your welcome embrace. “I have, uh. Some poems in there. About you.” Your heart warms up so much you feel like you’re in a volcano of love. “Please don’t read them, but. I won’t stop you if you want to.”

“I won’t look at anything you don’t want me to. Just know that I love you, okay?”

Whoops. That hadn’t come out before now.

“You do?” Changbin’s voice quivers in your ear, and you nod, hesitancy settling into your bones. “Good.” His arms wrap around you, nose nuzzling at the joint between your shoulder and neck. “I love you too.” He presses a kiss into your skin, and you want nothing more than to keep this boy for the rest of your life.

In fact, you’re planning on it.