Archive of Our Own

“I heard that this one kid got a curse that made him grow tentacles.” 

“No way.”

“I swear! And as a Gusu Lan Clan disciple, I wouldn’t lie.”

“Well I heard that someone grew a third eye. On their leg. ”

“Yeah right!”

“Are you calling me a liar?!”

Wei Wuxian steps between Jin Ling and Lan Jingyi right as the two of them move to unsheathe their swords. “Lan Zhan,” he sing-songs, and watches the eyes of the two juniors widen right as their lips clamp shut by an invisible force.

“Too loud,” Lan Wangji calls from between the trees ahead of them.

Jin Ling and Lan Jingyi cross their arms over their chest, muffled grumbles sounding from their sealed mouths. Wei Ying watches in awed amusement as the two go on to continue their previous argument through hmphs and mmphs alone. It’s a little sad, Wei Wuxian thinks, that this has happened so often that the two of them have adapted by making their own language. 

Lan Wangji slows to a stop in front of them. He glances over his shoulder. “No grumbling.”

Wei Wuxian grins at the boys’ crestfallen expressions and pats their heads, fully expecting it when Jin Ling slaps his hand away. “Must Hanguang-Jun silence you two every time? Honestly, you boys don’t realize how precious your ability to talk is until you get it taken away from you.” 

“Senior Wei,” Lan Sizhui calls from in front of him. “Will we be hearing about the case soon?”

“Ah, yes, the case.” Wei Wuxian makes his way to Lan Wangji’s side. He turns to face Jin Ling, Lan Jingyi, and Lan Sizhui, and walks backwards as he talks. “I’ll explain it now. Unless, of course, Hanguang-Jun would like to do the honors.” 

He grins up at Lan Wangji, who hums back in response.

“I’ll take that as a no.” Wei Wuxian clears his throat. “As you all know, we’re going to be investigating a curse.”

“Nice!” Jin Ling and Lan Jingyi echo. They raise a hand to their mouth, not having expected Lan Wangji to lift the silencing spell so soon. Then they shoot each other glares and their fingers twitch towards their swords again. Lan Sizhui quickly steps between them and shushes them.

Pride swells in Wei Wuxian’s chest at how good of a kid Lan Sizhui is, always a keeper of peace between everyone. He continues, “What do you know about curses? This should be easy since you all have experience with them.”

“They can be violent,” Jin Ling says. “They can kill you, tear you apart, or surround you with bad luck for the rest of your life. Those ones are hard to get rid of.”

“They can be harmless,” Lan Jingyi adds. “A curse could only cause your hair to fall out, for example. I swear, I heard it happened once! Usually these ones go away on their own.”

“The strength of the curse and the time it lasts depends on the caster’s spiritual energy,” Lan Sizhui says. “Given that we’re going to the small town of Yuyao, where not many cultivators live, I’m guessing we’ll be working with a relatively harmless curse.”

Wei Wuxian grins and pretends to wipe tears from his eyes. “Did you hear that, Lan Zhan? Look at their amazing teamwork!”

“Mn,” Lan Wangji agrees, a subtle upwards tilt to his lips.

“You’re all correct,” Wei Wuxian praises. “And like Sizhui guessed, we’re going to be dealing with a harmless curse, if that weren’t already obvious by the fact that Hanguang-Jun and I decided to bring you three along.”

Jin Ling turns his face to the side with a huff. “What’s the point in investigating a harmless curse if it’s just going to disappear on its own? Wouldn’t it be better to take on something more violent?”

“Aiya, Jin Ling. You’re just like your uncle,” Wei Wuxian says with a sigh, wagging a finger. He ignores Jin Ling’s outraged Hey! “Just because a curse is physically harmless doesn’t mean it still doesn’t cause problems. Yuyao isn’t a big town. They rely on traveling cultivators and families for business. But if rumors of a curse start spreading, do you think anyone will care that it’s harmless? They’ll likely just find another town to pass through. Then what happens to the families of Yuyao who can’t provide for themselves anymore?”

Lan Jingyi nods. “And I don’t think only violent curses can harm people.”

Lan Wangji looks over his shoulder. “Good. Why not?”

Lan Jingyi visibly beams at the praise, then clears his throat and straightens his back to stand taller. “Some curses are harmless, but impact your quality of life. And just knowing that you’ve been cursed is likely to take a toll on you mentally, so even if it isn’t directly harming you, it could be doing so indirectly.” Lan Wangji nods along to his words. Wei Wuxian can tell how proud he is of the junior. “Also, I heard about this one curse that gave people the urge to drink milk… straight from the cow’s udder. Imagine going to a town and seeing dozens of people—"

“We will reach Yuyao soon,” says Lan Wangji suddenly, cutting Lan Jingyi off. 

Wei Wuxian laughs at the strained look on his husband’s face and turns to the juniors. “Where did you guys hear about all these curses? Tentacles, third eyes, hair falling out… I’ve been around for two lifetimes and I’ve never seen any of those.”

“They’re real!” Jin Ling and Lan Jingyi echo, again. 

“Alright, alright, I believe you.” Wei Wuxian waves a hand at them to stop their bickering before it starts and turns to Lan Wangji. “Lan Zhan, the juniors here have enlightened me about all the possibilities there are for curses. Maybe I should cast one on you? How about a curse to cure your aversion to spicy food?”

Lan Wangji glances at him from the corner of his eye. “If that is what Wei Ying wants.”

Wei Wuxian laughs and pecks Lan Wangji’s cheek. “Wow, Lan Zhan. So eager to let me experiment on you. What a supportive husband.”

“Mm,” Lan Zhan hums, in a tone that Wei Wuxian knows is equal parts happy and smug.

Not too long after, they all break through a line of trees that illuminates a direct path to Yuyao, located between Gusu and Yunmeng. Their close proximity to Jiang Cheng is really the only reason he had agreed to let Jin Ling join in on this investigation of theirs. 

“And tell Wei Wuxian that he’d better watch over you with his life,” Jiang Cheng had told Jin Ling a few days before they’d left. 

“You tell him yourself. He’s standing right there,” Jin Ling had scoffed. 

“You—!” Jiang Cheng had clenched his jaw and cast a quick glance at Wei Wuxian before clicking his tongue against the roof of his mouth and walking off. 

Wei Wuxian hums thoughtfully at the memory.

Things could be better, but they could also definitely be worse.

Heading down the path to Yuyao, Wei Wuxian realizes how small of a town this actually is. It looks like there’s only one of every type of business: one liquor house, one inn, one shop, one restaurant. Wei Wuxian can see a line of houses in the distance, but other than that, there’s not much to marvel over. The saving grace of the town seems to be that it’s surrounded by beautiful forests that harbor ponds and small lakes.

“Hanguang-Jun, Senior Wei.” Lan Sizhui looks around at Yuyao’s buildings and its people, eyes scanning the area, then walks faster to catch up to them. “Looking at the residents, you would never guess that something strange is going on here.”

“Hm.” Wei Wuxian looks around. “You definitely got a letter asking for help, right, Lan Zhan?”

“Mn.”

“Then let’s find someone who can tell us what’s going on." He begins walking towards the liquor house to execute his famous ‘Buy so much alcohol that they tell you everything they know’ plan, but stops when a hand tugs at his wrist. Wei Wuxian blinks and looks back over his shoulder at the raised brow on his husband’s face. He pouts. “Lan Zhan.”

“Not there,” Lan Wangji says.

Wei Wuxian looks at the juniors and sighs. “Fine, fine. Where should we go?” 

Lan Wangji surveys the area, then gently tugs Wei Wuxian in the direction of the inn. The juniors follow closely behind.

The inn is practically empty when they step inside. The only sign of life is a lone man scrubbing at the floor. When he hears the doors swing open, he quickly gets to his feet. “Ah, welcome to—” he starts, before the words die in his throat upon seeing his new guests.

“Hello,” Wei Wuxian says, and they all give a small bow. “I’m Wei Wuxian. This is—”

“Hanguang-Jun, yes, hello.” The man bows, then straightens back up with a relieved sigh. “Thank you so much for coming.”

“Are you the one who sent the letter?” Lan Wangji asks.

“Yes, yes. Well, a lot of us here wanted to send it but I took charge in writing it for them.”

Wei Wuxian looks around the room and hums. “You own this place, right? No business?”

“No,” the innkeeper sighs, ducking his head. “Ever since word got out about the curse, we’ve been seeing less and less travelers. I haven’t had anyone stay here in two days.”

Wei Wuxian nods and moves to sit at a table. Everyone follows suit.

“Tell us what’s going on.” Wei Wuxian props his chin on his hand. “I know you’ve explained some of it to Hanguang-Jun already, but we’ve brought along some juniors who want to help.” 

“Of course.” The innkeeper bows his head graciously before starting. “About one week ago, a child in this town fainted in the middle of the road. When he came to, we tried to ask him how he was feeling but every time he opened his mouth, no words would come out. It went on for hours. The poor boy’s face turned red with how hard he was trying to speak.”

“Did he see a doctor?” Lan Sizhui asked.

The innkeeper nods. “We took him to one, but the doctor couldn’t find anything wrong with him. We started thinking the boy was never going to speak again until, at the very end of the day, he suddenly whispered ‘What’s happening?’. Out of nowhere! We tried to talk to him about it, but then he couldn’t speak again.”

“Was he acting normal?” Jin Ling asked, frowning. “Or did he look… possessed?”

“No, he was acting normal… Sometimes he would start pointing at his throat, but the doctor said there was nothing wrong with it, so we think he was just expressing his frustration.”

Lan Wangji nods. “And the others?”

The innkeeper shifts. “Five other children were cursed the same way. They also couldn’t speak when they wanted to, but when they finally did, it wouldn’t make sense at all. The second case happened the morning after the first. The remaining four all happened the day after that.” He sighs. “With the exception of the second child, they all fainted just like the first one had. And after the first child, we had a feeling that fainting would indicate someone got cursed, so…”

Lan Jingyi leans forward. “So what?”

“So as soon as someone fainted, we would confine them in their home right away.”

Wei Wuxian blinks. “You locked them up?”

“It’s not as bad as it sounds!” The innkeeper looks around to make sure no one else can hear him, then remembers they’re the only ones in the room. “Honestly, we all decided that it’d be best to just keep them somewhere else until the curse was lifted. Word travels fast. It was starting to worry travelers that some of our residents couldn’t speak, while others would blurt nonsense out of nowhere!” He points in the general direction of the houses they’d seen in the distance and tells them which ones hold the cursed children. “They’ve been told not to leave, so you’ll definitely be able to find them.”

A small frown curls at Lan Wangji’s lips. “They cannot leave at all?”

The innkeeper’s fingers curl around the rag in his hand. “A-ah… No.”

Wei Wuxian turns to face the juniors and lowers his head. He says in a whisper, “You see, this is why we help with even harmless curses. Look what these poor residents have resorted to!”

The innkeeper laughs nervously. “Don’t worry! Everyone who’s cursed has family that watches over them,” he hurriedly explains, eyes periodically darting to Lan Wangji, who still wears a small frown. “And we’ve sent a doctor right to their home every time. They’re in good hands.”

Jin Ling scoffs. “Why not just let them out at night when less travelers are around?”

“Uh…” The innkeeper swallows heavily. “You see—”

“The residents aren’t sure how the curse is spread, so they’re hesitant to be around the cursed at all,” Lan Sizhui cuts in. He offers a gentle smile. “Is that correct, mister?”

The innkeeper slowly nods. Jin Ling scolds, “So what? Is everyone here really so afraid of a curse that causes you to start yelling random things? What a joke.”

“Maybe you don’t think it’s bad because you do it all the time anyway,” Lan Jingyi shrugs.

“You—!” 

Wei Wuxian leans against Lan Wangji’s side as hmphs! and mmphs! begin to echo throughout the room. “Thank you for your time,” Lan Wangji says. “We will be back to rest here after speaking to those you’ve mentioned.”

“Yes, of course! I’ll start preparing the rooms right away,” he says. “You’ll need five?”

“Four,” Lan Wangji corrects.

With a final nod, they all head back outside and down the path leading to the line of houses. 

Wei Wuxian turns to the juniors. “You guys got all that, right?” They nod in response. “What did you think?”

“It’s strange,” Lan Sizhui says. Jin Ling and Lan Jingyi, still silenced, nod in agreement. “I think everything will become clearer after we talk to the children.”

Wei Wuxian grins. “I agree! Let’s hope the questioning goes smoothly.”

*****

It is not going smoothly.

Wei Wuxian ducks his head as an apple flies at it.

Across from him, a mother tries to calm her explosive son. “Zihan!”

The thirteen year old boy in question stomps his feet and crosses his arms. He turns around, refusing to look anyone in the eye.

“I’m so sorry, Hanguang-Jun,” the mother apologizes, rubbing at her face. “Please forgive him.”

Lan Wangji watches Zihan with a frown. Wei Wuxian hides a snicker behind his hand at the look of disapproval on his husband’s face. Lan Wangji has never been one to tolerate this much mischief, and is usually quick to use the silencing spell to deal with it. But given that Zihan is already unable to speak, there’s not much he can do. 

Lan Wangji looks back at the mother. “Why is he angry?”

“Ah, his temper has been all over the place for the last week,” she sighs. “He’s a very rowdy boy so being forced to stay inside is getting to him. And it’s hard for me to discipline him because I can’t imagine how he feels right now… Please forgive me.”

“Don’t apologize,” Lan Wangji says, stopping her before she bows. “You’re doing very well.”

The mother looks like she’s about to start crying at the praise.

Wei Wuxian and Lan Jingyi nod in understanding. They totally get it.

Lan Wangji just has that effect on people.

Wei Wuxian directs a beaming smile at the mother. “Madam, we’re here to ask you some questions about your son. It’ll help us figure out how to undo the curse.”

“I’ll help in any way I can.” She bows her head. “Thank you so much.”

They all get to work questioning the mother. Specifically, Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji let the juniors take the lead in questioning, only speaking up when there’s a detail they want the mother to elaborate on.

They learn that Zihan had been acting normally on the day he’d gotten cursed. Every two days, his mother sends him to sell robes she’s made to the travelers that enter their city, and on his way back from one of these trips is when he’d collapsed in the middle of the road. She’d been called over immediately, and after that, her story matches the one of the innkeeper. Following their visit to the doctor, the residents had suggested that Zihan stay at home until the origins of the curse were known.

“On days where he’s not selling to travelers,” Lan Sizhui asks, “What does he do?”

“He just plays outside all day,” Zihan’s mother answers. “He spends all his time in the forest, climbing trees and skipping rocks across our ponds. He even builds little shelves and tables for me using material he finds there.” She looks at Zihan with a sigh. “That’s another reason he’s been acting up. Since he’s been told to stay home, he can’t go out into the forest anymore.”

“Mm.” Wei Wuxian looks at Zihan, who’s been staring at them the entire time. “Did anything strange happen to you in the forest?”

Zihan narrows his eyes and turns his head.

Lan Wangji looks at the boy. “Zihan.”

Zihan tenses, then cracks an eye open. He quickly shakes his head.

“No?” Wei Wuxian throws his head back and sighs. “Then what could’ve caused it?”

“We should move on to the next house,” Lan Wangji says. He bows to Zihan’s mother. “Thank you for your help. Rest assured that we will figure this out.”

“Hanguang-Jun,” she says hurriedly. “Please, let me thank you properly. You and your group should stay and eat with us. I’ve almost finished cooking.”

Wei Wuxian smiles. “We appreciate your offer. However, we really would like to go and check on the other children before it gets too late. Also,” he says, looking over at the boy who began throwing a tantrum at the mention of them staying any longer, “I don’t think Zihan likes the idea.”

Wei Wuxian watches as his husband trains his gaze on Zihan. He looks deep in thought, and Wei Wuxian is about to nudge him towards the door. Before he can, Lan Wangji walks up to the boy and stops in front of him.

Zihan looks up at Lan Wangji hesitantly. The juniors all hold their breath. Wei Wuxian watches curiously, a smile tugging at his lips.

“You’re a smart boy,” Lan Wangji says after a moment’s silence, and Zihan’s eyes widen and sparkle. “You will grow to do great things, but right now, you should be kinder to your mother.”

Zihan’s mouth pops open, and then he’s wildly nodding his head. 

They all give Zihan’s mother a final bow and thank her for her time. Wei Wuxian laughs as they leave the home and continue on towards the next one. “Lan Zhan, do you have a soft spot for him? But he’s so mischievous.”

“Mm.” Lan Wangji keeps his gaze forward. “He reminds me of you when we were younger.”

Wei Wuxian snorts, then pouts teasingly at Lan Wangji. “A rule breaker? Always challenging authority? Making messes everywhere?”

“Strong-willed,” Lan Wangji corrects. “Creative. Adventurous.”

“Lan Zhan!” Wei Wuxian buries his face into Lan Wangji’s arm. “Aiya, where were these flowery words when we were younger, huh? I wouldn’t have ever left Gusu if you’d been like this from the beginning.”

“You did not willingly leave Gusu,” Lan Wangji reminds him gently. “You were taken home after punching Jin Zixuan in the face.”

“You what?!”

“Details, details.” Wei Wuxian takes Lan Wangji’s hand and speeds towards the second house before Jin Ling can ask any questions. “Come on. I feel really good about this next one.”

*****

Wei Wuxian isn’t feeling that good about it anymore.

Daiyu is the second child who had gotten cursed. They sit down with her mother and begin questioning her, and like Zihan’s mother, it doesn’t look like Daiyu had been acting weird before the curse had manifested. Daiyu’s mother says that when she’d gone to wake her daughter up one morning, her daughter had started yelling nonsense out of nowhere.

“She was saying that the water was too hot,” Daiyu’s mother explains. “I thought she was dreaming but she kept saying it, and she was clearly awake when she was.”

“We were told that your daughter is the only one who didn’t faint,” Lan Sizhui brings up.

Lan Jingyi holds up a finger. “Maybe it’s because she was sleeping while it happened?” 

While the juniors start nodding amongst themselves, Wei Wuxian turns to the mother and rubs his chin. “What was your daughter doing the day before this started? We know you said she wasn’t acting strange, but was she with you the whole day?”

Daiyu tenses at the question, but is quick to compose herself.

Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji exchange a subtle glance.

“Ah, no, she wasn’t. She was helping me clean in the morning, but then she went to the forest. She likes to stay there for hours at a time and read since it’s so quiet. She came home a little later than usual yesterday. Her father and I were about to go look for her, but then she opened the door and went straight to her room.”

Wei Wuxian hums. “You didn’t ask her where she was?”

“We were going to, but since she didn’t say anything first, we thought she was tired and decided to leave her be,” Daiyu’s mother explains. “Daiyu has always been a well-mannered and trustworthy daughter. We don’t doubt that she was in the forest.”

Wei Wuxian nods. “Of course. I don’t think she went anywhere else, I was just cur—”

“Ah! Too salty!” 

Everyone in the room freezes and turns to Daiyu. She claps a hand over her mouth at the outburst. Her eyes widen in mortification and she starts frantically bowing in apology. 

Wei Wuxian blinks and looks at Lan Wangji. “It really is just nonsense.” 

“Mn.”

Jin Ling squints. “Maybe she says what she’s thinking?” 

The words leave his lips hesitantly, though, because he knows how much of a stretch that is. She hasn’t been doing anything but standing next to them the entire time. No one’s mentioned anything about salt, food, or whatever that would make what she said a reasonable response. 

Lan Sizhui tilts his head. “But can there really be a curse that makes you say random things?”

Lan Wangji hums. “Not likely.”

Wei Wuxian nods in agreement. “Curses, as weird as they can be, always have to draw their power from somewhere. A curse isn’t a person; it can’t make you say random things because it itself doesn’t know what random means.” He puts his hands on his hips. “There has to be some reason that the cursed are saying what they are.”

“Remember that not everyone is acting the same way, either,” Lan Wangji says, facing the juniors. “Some are speaking much more than others. There must be a reason why.”

Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji give the juniors a few moments to think about the issue at hand. Wei Wuxian smiles at the mental image of gears churning wildly in their heads as they try and make sense of it all.

“Oh!” Lan Sizhui turns to the mother. “Is your daughter normally talkative?”

The mother shakes her head. “She only says what she needs to, and certainly never in the tone she’s been using for the past few days.”

Lan Sizhui smiles like a light has just gone off above his head. “Maybe the curse makes talkative people quiet and quiet people talkative.”

Lan Jingyi ponders this, then grins excitedly. “Come to think about, Zihan’s mother did tell us that he’s usually very rowdy!”

Wei Wuxian hides a smile. They certainly didn’t need the mother to tell them that. 

Jin Ling jumps in. “How does that explain what they’re saying, though?”

Lan Sizhui and Lan Jingyi look at each other and shrug their shoulders. Wei Wuxian laughs and pats them on the back. “You don’t need to have an answer to that. You can’t figure out everything at once, can you?” He turns to Lan Wangji with a grin. “What do you think of their reasoning, Lan Zhan?”

“Possible,” Lan Wangji says, but Wei Wuxian can hear the hesitant undercurrent to his words. Something is still off about the explanation. It’s not clicking as nicely as Wei Wuxian wants. 

Jin Ling was right to question how Sizhui’s theory can’t explain the actual words coming from these people’s mouths. Wei Wuxian is willing to bet that the “nonsense” these kids are blurting out has everything to do with the frequency and tone at which they’re doing it. He senses that Lan Wangji thinks the same. Wei Wuxian throws his husband a small nod to indicate they’re on the same page.

“Well,” Wei Wuxian says, clapping his hands together, “I think there’s only way to find out if that theory holds some ground. Let’s go visit the others.”

Unfortunately, the theory doesn’t hold as soon as they enter the next house.

The remaining children with the curse don’t follow the same trend. They’d all been found passed out in a forest by a traveler looking to rest in the town overnight. Upon hearing the news, the residents had immediately told them not to leave their houses. And upon questioning the parents about the children’s personalities, they learn that all four of the remaining children are usually very loud, and have stayed loud during their confinement, blurting things that don’t make sense during all hours of the day. 

As the investigation goes on, everyone becomes more and more confused, and the questions pile up while the answers remain hidden.

“This doesn’t make sense,” Jin Ling comments as they leave the last house. Lan Sizhui and Lan Jingyi nod in agreement, a hand on their chins in thought. “Nothing adds up.”

“Now, now,” Wei Wuxian says. “It’s confusing, yes, but when has anything ever been easy?”

Lan Jingyi sighs. “We don’t have any clues, though.”

“We don’t?” Wei Wuxian places his hands on his hips. “Lan Zhan, can you believe this?” Lan Wangji looks at his husband and his eyes shine subtly in amusement. Wei Wuxian shakes his head and laughs. “I’m disappointed. I thought they’d pick up on it.”

“Uh.” Lan Jingyi looks between the two adults. “Hanguang-Jun, what are we missing?”

“Where have all the victims been recently?”

The juniors look around and think.

“...The forest?” Lan Jingyi guesses. His eyes light up when Lan Wangji nods.

Jin Ling frowns. “Well of course they’ve all been to the forest. That’s the only thing around here worth going to.”

“You’re just jealous Hanguang-Jun nodded at me,” Lan Jingyi mutters quietly. Jin Ling glares at him, but doesn’t try to deny it.

Wei Wuxian throws an arm around Lan Wangji. “Jin Ling is right. The forest doesn’t seem like that exciting of a lead, but it’s all we have right now. We might not find anything but we should go look around just in case.”

Jin Ling frowns harder. “You want us to dig around in a forest?”

“It’ll be fun!” Wei Wuxian looks up at the man beside him. “Right, Lan Zhan?”

“Mn,” Lan Wangji agrees. 

Wei Wuxian smiles and puckers his lips. For the sake of the juniors, Lan Wangji places a kiss on his cheek instead. The juniors look at each other in panic, a blush beginning to rise to their faces, and slowly slip into the forest before they can see Wei Wuxian stubbornly claim a kiss from Lan Wangji’s lips.

*****

They’ve been roaming the forest for an hour. 

Jin Ling has made it clear to everyone, multiple times, that he is not happy about this.

“This is a waste of time,” he grumbles. “There’s nothing here but trees and ponds.”

Lan Jingyi raises a brow. “What? Are you expecting a big shrine?”

“I’m expecting something that can curse people.”

“The smallest item can have the power to curse someone,” says Wei Wuxian, turning to face his nephew. “It might be in one of those leaves, or one of these blades of grass.” He grins. “Come on, Jin Ling. Let’s get on our knees and examine every bit of grass, one by one.”

Jin Ling’s face goes red. “You—!”

“Wei Ying.” 

Wei Wuxian turns to his husband and tilts his head in question. Lan Wangji silently nods to their right. Wei Wuxian looks past him and his mouth pops open when he sees what’s there. The group slowly make their way in that direction, stopping before a large tree. 

“That’s new,” Wei Wuxian murmurs, eyes widening. 

The tree in front of them looks like a piece of art, out of place in this forest of natural greens and browns. Its trunk is at least twice the width of every other tree in the area, with large holes dotting it from top to bottom. Streaks of orange line its branches, unusually long and sharp.

And that, Wei Wuxian notices, is the most normal part of the tree.

The juniors let out small gasps when everyone’s gaze drifts to the middle of the trunk. A stone arm extends from within it. The details on it are eerily realistic, wrinkles and veins depicted smoothly on the stone as if it were clay instead. 

The hand at the end of the arm is clutching another stone formation. This one is of a head. Wide eyes are carved into the stone, and a wide, gaping mouth accompanies it. From the mouth, a stream of moss flows out, stretching down to the forest floor.

And that, Wei Wuxian notices, is—

“—So fucking weird,” Jin Ling blurts, Wei Wuxian only managing to catch the tailend of that sentence due to his fixation on the tree before them.

Judging by the fact that Jin Ling doesn’t immediately get silenced by Lan Wangji, Wei Wuxian assumes that his husband is in a similar state of mind.

“Hanguang-Jun,” Lan Jingyi asks slowly. “What is that?”

Lan Wangji doesn’t directly answer the question. Instead, he lifts the palm of his hand in front of the stone head and closes his eyes. A few moments later, he opens them back up. “There’s strong spiritual energy coming from it.” His gaze darts to Wei Wuxian. “But it is not evil.”

Wei Wuxian mimics Lan Wangji, wanting to sense the energy. He blinks in surprise. “It’s… sad?”

Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji step aside to let the juniors try their hand at explaining the energy emitting from the stone head. “It does feel sad,” Lan Sizhui agrees, a frown tugging at his lips. He tilts his head. “I haven’t felt anything like it before.”

“Is this what’s causing the curse?” Jin Ling asks. “It’s the only weird thing we’ve seen.”

“I’m not sure,” Wei Wuxian murmurs. “What do you think, Lan Zhan?”

Lan Wangji hums. “Let’s seal its energy for now. We’ll go back and question the children about this stone. If they have all seen it…”

“...Then it’s probably what’s causing it.” Wei Wuxian grins. “You’re so smart, Lan Zhan!”

“Wei Ying was thinking the same thing.”

Wei Wuxian dismisses his husband with a wave of his hand. “I do wonder why this would be causing a curse like that though,” he murmurs, then turns to the juniors. “Anyone want to try sealing it? Don’t let Hanguang-Jun and I steal all the fun.”

Jin Ling and Lan Jingyi look like they don’t want to go near it. Lan Sizhui smiles and steps forward. “I can try.”

Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji back away from the tree. Lan Sizhui takes a few steps forward, then reaches for a talisman. He whispers a few words under his breath then throws it at the stone head. It latches onto the moss seeping from the gaping mouth. Lan Sizhui then draws a symbol into the air, the air around his fingers tinted blue, and he pushes it forward. 

At first, nothing happens. 

Then, everything happens.

The tree begins to shake. Leaves from the branches overhead rain over everyone’s heads. The talisman falls off the stone head, which begins to crack. 

“Everyone stand back!” Wei Wuxian orders, but as soon as the words leave his mouth, the ground below them shakes. Jin Ling loses his footing and falls onto his knees at the base of the tree, right beneath the stone head that’s just detached itself from the hand above it.

Wei Wuxian’s breath catches in his throat. He throws himself towards Jin Ling and pushes him out of the way, catching the stone head in the crook of his arm. The impact makes him wince, but more worrisome than that, he feels a shock ripple through his body in the next second. He trips over his own feet because of it.

Wei Wuxian’s eyes widen as he falls backwards, the stone head flying from his grasp. It hovers in the air for a split second before gravity takes its effect and hurls it downwards. It all happens too fast, and Wei Wuxian can do nothing but fall, eyes trained on the stone as it drops towards him.

“Wei Ying!” 

A warm hand grabs at his own, stopping him from hitting the ground. The breath knocks out of him at the sudden change in momentum. Wei Wuxian briefly sees another warm hand catch the falling stone head, stopping it from dropping onto his head.

Wei Wuxian blinks the haze from his mind, then smiles. “Thanks, Lan Z—”

Then he feels a wave of static buzz across his skin, so strong that it rips a gasp from his throat. He barely registers the grunt sounding from beside him or the fingers twitching against his hand.

Wei Wuxian blacks out.

*****

Wei Wuxian doesn’t know how long it’s been, but he eventually comes to.

He sits up and the world around him spins. He braces his hands on the ground to steady himself. He feels queasy, but other than that, nothing seems too unusual. He doesn’t have tentacles, or a third eye, or an urge to drink milk straight from a cow’s udder, which is a good start. Once the world around him stops moving, he blinks his eyes. 

Wei Wuxian clicks his tongue. “What the fuck was that?” 

The juniors gasp so loudly that Wei Wuxian jumps where he’s sitting. He quickly starts patting his head, his sides, his legs, because maybe there is a weird tentacle or eye somewhere that he didn’t see before, and—

—And the juniors aren’t even looking at him. They’re staring wide-eyed at Lan Wangji. 

Wei Wuxian blinks and allows his gaze to settle over his husband. He doesn’t notice anything worrying; he can’t see any strange marks, Lan Wangji’s hair is still intact, and Wei Wuxian bets that his poor tolerance for spice is still an issue. But then his gaze flits up to Lan Wangji’s face and he notices him prodding at his lips wordlessly, a worried wrinkle between his brows.

Lan Wangji shoots Wei Wuxian a look of concern. The juniors do the same.

Wei Wuxian blinks. “Why do you all look like you’ve seen a ghost?”

Wei Wuxian hears Lan Wangji ask the same question at the same time. It confuses him a little, because Lan Wangji is one of the people he’s directing the question at, but whatever. Maybe he's just worried about the juniors being scared? It doesn’t matter. Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji are so in sync because they’re so in love. Wei Wuxian smiles at Lan Wangji.

Lan Wangji doesn’t smile back.

Something is definitely up.

Wei Wuxian’s smile falters. He’s about to demand that someone explain to him what the hell is going on because obviously he’s the only one not in on this secret, but before he can, his lips start to tingle. His jaw pulses, his lips pop open and he breathes out, “Wei Ying.”

Wei Wuxian brings a hand up to grab at his throat. 

Why did I just say my own name?

A silence blankets the air around them. Wei Wuxian closes his eyes and recaps the last couple of minutes: him asking (a little crudely) what happened, the juniors looking like Lan Wangji had just announced his deep hatred for rabbits, Lan Wangji himself looking like he’d just announced his deep hatred for rabbits, both of them asking the same question, and—

Realization seeps into Wei Wuxian's bones.

He looks up at Lan Wangji, and Lan Wangji is staring right back at him, and Wei Wuxian’s lips are still tingling, and Lan Wangji is still poking at his own.

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Lan Wangji groans.

At the same time, Wei Wuxian murmurs, “Ah.”

The juniors look back and forth between the two adults so quickly that Wei Wuxian almost laughs, but he’s still in a state of processing everything, so he doesn’t.

“Hanguang-Jun… Senior Wei…” Lan Sizhui is the first to break the silence. “Are you alright?” 

His question is mostly directed at Lan Wangji, who has within two minutes said things that no one would’ve dreamt of him saying. Jin Ling and Lan Jingyi’s eyes are also locked on Lan Wangji.

Wei Wuxian pouts a bit at the attention he’s not getting. “We’re both fine, thanks for asking. Sit down and I’ll tell you what’s going on.”

The words ripple from Lan Wangji’s mouth and the juniors quickly get to their knees. They lean forward, eyes wide, and the sight finally breaks Wei Wuxian. He throws his head back and laughs, and the air around them fills with the sound of deep, melodious laughter that Wei Wuxian has only heard once before at their wedding.

Lan Jingyi’s jaw drops.

Lan Sizhui’s jaw drops.

Jin Ling’s jaw drops.

Lan Wangji’s ears redden at their tips.

“Wei Ying,” voices from between Wei Wuxian’s tingling lips. It sounds strained  “Please.”

The juniors’ heads snap towards Wei Wuxian.

“Someone please explain what’s going on,” Lan Jingyi murmurs in a daze.

“We’ve been cursed,” explains Wei Wuxian, but no sound comes out of his mouth, the words instead materializing from between Lan Wangji’s lips. When the juniors convey through facial expressions, in the nicest way possible, Duh! , Wei Wuxian continues, “It looks like everything we try to say comes out of the other person’s mouth.”

The juniors blink.

“So when Hanguang-Jun is talking…” Lan Sizhui looks between them. “Senior Wei is talking?”

Wei Wuxian grins. “You bet.”

Those words coming from Lan Wangji’s mouth, paired with his stoic face, brings a shiver running down the spines of the juniors. Wei Wuxian even sees Lan Jingyi swallow nervously. 

“So when Senior Wei is talking…” 

Lan Wangji nods.

No words spill from Wei Wuxian’s mouth. 

“Okay, this is happening,” says Jin Ling, as if Wei Wuxian being silent for once in his life is the final piece of evidence his nephew needs to believe it.

Lan Jingyi gulps. “What should we do?” 

Wei Wuxian looks at Lan Wangji and nods. “Well, we should definitely go back to that tree and see if touching that stone head will undo the curse.” Wei Wuxian finds it disorienting to watch Lan Wangji’s mouth move along with his own, producing words in his place. “Though I get the feeling it won’t be that easy.”

“And if it doesn’t work?” 

“Then we research! We’ll just need to figure out how to undo it ourselves.”

The juniors nod. They look like they’re having trouble deciding who to look at: the person who’s trying to talk or the person who’s actually talking? As weird as this may be for them, though, it’s definitely not any easier for Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji. Just now, Wei Wuxian could feel himself getting queasy watching his husband talk for him. It just… looked weird. 

Before Wei Wuxian can think about it any longer, he stands up. Lan Wangji stands with him, and they motion for the juniors to follow them back towards the direction of the cursed tree.

They don’t have to walk far. Which in hindsight makes sense, Wei Wuxian thinks, because he can’t imagine the juniors trying to lug his and Lan Wangji’s unconscious bodies too far through a forest. It would just be really messy, and—

Wei Wuxian narrows his eyes.

Wait a minute.

“My dear juniors,” Wei Wuxian calls out, a little too sweetly. The words manifest from Lan Wangji’s mouth. “Can someone explain to me why my robes look like I’ve been dragged through dirt, while Hanguang-Jun’s are still in pristine condition?”

The juniors say nothing.

“I’m waiting.”

Lan Sizhui clears his throat when Lan Jingyi and Jin Ling make no move to answer. Wei Wuxian snorts. Now you want to be silent, huh? “S-Senior Wei, you see, Hanguang-Jun is heavier than you are, so two of us had to carry him, and we didn’t want to leave you alone, so—”

“We’re here,” Wei Wuxian suddenly hears himself say. 

The juniors breathe a sigh of relief behind him. 

Wei Wuxian decides to let it go for now. Instead, he places his hands on his hips and looks at the cracked bark of the tree before them, stone hand clawing its way from within, and stone head laying at its base. A string of moss is still hanging from its mouth.

“Alright. Ready, Lan Zhan?”

“Mn.”

“Wait!” Lan Jingyi gulps. “What if something worse happens when you touch it again?”

Wei Wuxian smiles. “Good question, but unlikely. A curse is usually only good for doing one thing,” he says through Lan Wangji, and then from his own mouth comes, “We will be fine.”

Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji nod at each other and lean down. Weu Wuxian gives them a countdown, and then they place their hands on the stone head. Jin Ling takes a step back and closes his eyes, then cracks one open curiously.

Nothing happens.

“Do you feel anything, Lan Zhan?”

“No.”

“Ah. That’s a shame.”

Wei Wuxian stands up and cracks his neck. He rubs the dirt off of his hands. “See? We’re still here, switched voices and all.”

“So what do we do now?” Jin Ling asks. “Wait for it to wear off? Do we even know how long that’ll take?”

“Maybe we can bring the stone head back to the inn and investigate?” Lan Sizhui suggests.

Wei Wuxian shakes his head. “I wouldn’t. If trying to seal its energy made the ground start shaking then I don’t think trying to take it out of the forest will be even better. It must be tied to this area somehow.” 

Lan Wangji adds, “But we should cover it so that passerbys do not get curious and touch it.”

“Good idea, Hanguang-Jun!” 

The juniors get to work grabbing leaves and sticks, placing them on top of the stone head until it becomes hidden from view. Specifically, Lan Sizhui and Lan Jingyi do most of the work. Jin Ling mainly stands next to them and critiques how efficient they’re being.

“So what now?” Lan Jingyi asks. 

Wei Wuxian looks at Lan Wangji. “This curse is clearly tied to nature in some way, which makes it easier because we won’t have to track down a caster, but also makes it harder because it’s more difficult to figure out an intention. Any ideas, Lan Zhan?”

He nods. “The Library Pavilion has books on curses manifesting from non-human spirits. We should start there.”

Wei Wuxian claps his hands together and beams. “Then we’ll rest here for the night and head back to Gusu tomorrow!” He jumps onto Lan Wangi’s back and wraps his arms around his neck. “Lan Zhan, ah, Lan Zhan, be a good husband and carry me back? All this curse nonsense has made me so tired.”

Lan Wangji shifts Wei Wuxian so that he’s snug on his back, then begins his walk back to Yuyao’s inn. The juniors follow behind.

“Senior Wei.”

Wei Wuxian turns to Lan Sizhui and tilts his head in question.

“Something isn’t sitting right with me,” he says. “You and Hanguang-Jun fainted, and so did all the children who were cursed, except for Daiyu. I don’t understand why.”

Sprawled across Lan Wangji’s back, Wei Wuxian places his chin on his husband’s shoulder and hums. He thinks back to their conversation with Daiyu and her mother. “I could tell she was hiding something,” Wei Wuxian says, the words leaving his husband.

Lan Wangji nods, and Wei Wuxian feels his lips part. “She was cursed the same day as Zihan.”

“She likely fainted just like everyone else, but she was alone in the forest, so no one saw her.”

“When she came to, she realized she could not speak.”

“I think she wanted to go home and tell her parents, but then she started yelling random phrases, and we all met Zihan, so I’m guessing what she was yelling wasn’t so nice. I bet she was embarrassed and didn’t want anyone to see her.”

“She stayed out all night waiting for it to stop.”

“Once it was late enough, Zihan had probably fallen asleep and so she was able to go back home. Since she didn’t say anything, her parents didn’t notice anything was off until the next morning.”

“So Zihan lied too?” Lan Jingyi asked. “He said nothing strange happened in the forest.”

“Because nothing strange did happen. When I touched the stone head, I just felt a small shock. It wasn’t until Hanguang-Jun touched it did I faint. I’m guessing the curse only takes effect once it’s gotten a pair.”

“As Zihan was the first to touch it, the curse did not manifest until Daiyu did the same.”

“So to him, he really doesn’t think the forest had anything to do with it. He probably thinks the weird stone he came across isn’t worth mentioning.”

Lan Wangji nods, and Wei Wuxian beams. He loves his husband so much. They’re always on the same wavelength. He lovingly places a kiss on his cheek.

Beside them, the juniors had watched Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji go back and forth, taking apart the curse like it was nothing. Wei Wuxian laughs at their conflicted expressions, likely caught between marveling at how cool their seniors are and being completely thrown off by the number of words leaving Lan Wangji’s mouth. Their expressions only become more priceless when Wei Wuxian’s laugh bellows out of Lan Wangji instead.

Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji ask the juniors at the same time, “What do you think?”

Jin Ling blinks out of his daze first. “I think that locking up those kids right when they got cursed was their downfall. If they’d put them all in the same room then they would’ve noticed right away that whenever one of them tried to speak, it would come out of someone else instead.” Jin Ling sniffs haughtily. “Serves them right.”

“You’re only saying that because you know what the curse is now,” Lan Jingyi argues. “If you were in their situation then you might have acted the same way.”

“I’ve thought from the beginning that locking them up was stupid!”

“Now, now, let’s not fight.” Lan Sizhui’s calm voice blankets the air around them. “It’s true that keeping the children in their homes is a little harsh, but we also can’t blame them for being cautious.”

“There’s no right answer.” Wei Wuxian jumps off Lan Wangji’s back when they reach the doors of the inn. “As long as you can consider all angles, that’s what matters.”

“Yes, Han— Senior Wei!”

“Now go rest up. We’ll be heading straight to Gusu tomorrow to do some research.”

The juniors nod. They open the doors to the inn and head to the rooms prepared for them. 

Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji head up the stairs to their room, too. Once inside, Wei Wuxian runs to the bed and jumps face-first onto it, letting out a tired groan. “Lan Zhan, today has been exhausting. I’m going to fall asleep like this.”

Wei Wuxian can’t help but smile as the playful words echo throughout the room in his husband’s deep voice. Lan Wangji never whines, so as annoying as this curse is, it’s definitely giving Wei Wuxian the opportunity of a lifetime to hear it. It makes everything a little more tolerable. 

Wei Wuxian can hear his lips form the words “Wei Ying should change his clothes,” but with his mouth pressed up against the bed, it comes out muffled and incoherent.

Wei Wuxian flips around and pouts up at his husband. 

A smile ghosts across Lan Wangji’s lips, eyes softening. He bends down and slowly starts shedding Wei Wuxian off his outer robes, his movements soft and gentle. When he’s pulled Wei Wuxian’s arms out of their sleeves and undone the tie, he places a hand below his head, then his back, then his hips, slowly lifting his body until he’s pulled the clothing off of him completely. 

The entire time, Wei Wuxian watches him with an adoring gaze.

I love this man. I love him, I love him, I love him.

Then Lan Wangji heads to the door of their room, opens it up, and drags a wooden bath inside. Wei Wuxian looks at him in confusion, then feels his lips part: “I asked Sizhui to let the innkeeper know to bring one up.”

Then Lan Wangji walks back to the bed, sheds Wei Wuxian of his inner robe, and places his arms underneath his back and knees. He carries him off the bed and walks towards the bath. Wei Wuxian flinches as he’s lowered into the water, hot against his skin at first, but then he relaxes as warmth envelopes his body. He can feel his muscles relax instantly, and he droops against the edge of the bath.

“Ah, Lan Zhan,” Wei Wuxian breathes. “You’re the best. The greatest.”

“Mm.” Lan Zhan grabs a rag and starts scrubbing the dirt off of Wei Wuxian’s arms, lightly massaging his skin as he does. 

“I’m serious, Lan Zhan. You give me so much more than I deserve.”

Lan Wangji peeks up at him. “Wei Ying worked hard today. You deserve at least this much.”

“You also worked hard, Hanguang-Jun!” Wei Wuxian places his chin on the edge of the bath and locks his eyes onto Lan Wangji’s face. “I get to give you a bath next, then, alright?”

“Mn.” 

Wei Wuxian’s eyes travel down to Lan Wangji’s mouth. “Lan Zhan, it’s so weird, seeing you say what I’m saying. It makes me a little dizzy, honestly.”

“Then don’t talk.”

Wei Wuxian snorts. “You just don’t like to listen to your own voice, huh, Lan Zhan?”

“Mn. I prefer Wei Ying’s voice.”

“Ah, Lan Zhan.” Wei Wuxian sighs, his heart swelling in his chest. “You’re really too much.”

Lan Zhan leans forward and places a kiss at the tip of Wei Wuxian’s nose. Then he removes the tie around Wei Wuxian’s hair and it cascades down his back. Wei Wuxian closes his eyes as Lan Wangji’s fingers begin to comb through it, picking out tiny leaves and specks of dirt as he does. He can feel himself getting increasingly drowsy, falling into a state of bliss from Lan Wangji’s ministrations alone. 

Before he dozes off completely, Wei Wuxian cracks an eye open. His husband, his gorgeous, kind husband, looks like he’s putting his entire heart and soul into cleaning off and caring for him. Wei Wuxian is instantly filled with the need to touch him, to give him back at least a fraction of what he’s receiving. And so he lifts a wet hand from the bath and places it on Lan Wangji’s cheek, gently turning his face until their gazes lock.

Wei Wuxian ushers Lan Wangji forward, who quickly gets the hint - So smart, this husband of mine - and leans closer. Wei Wuxian then raises his other hand out of the bath, taking Lan Wangj’s face between them, and presses their lips together.

They remain unmoving at first, simply letting their breaths mix. Then Wei Wuxian slowly begins to meld their lips, and Lan Wangji is quick to reciprocate. The next few minutes fill with soft nips and swipes of the tongue.

“I love you,” Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji say at the same time, and with their voices intermingling, filling the air around them with a shared declaration that doesn’t care for who’s mouth it’s coming from, it’s the most natural thing that they’ve heard in hours.

Wei Ying falls asleep against Lan Wangji’s lips.

*****

The next day quickly comes.

Lan Wangji steps atop Bichen. Wei Wuxian feels an arm snake around his waist as he gets carried onto it with him. He grabs hold of Lan Wangji’s robes and turns to the juniors. “Ready?”

“Ready!” Lan Sizhui and Lan Jingyi echo.

Jin Ling says nothing, but nods in affirmation.

“Alright!” Wei Wuxian grins up at Lan Wangji. “Let’s go, big boy!”

The juniors stumble on their swords.

Ah, seems they’re still not used to hearing their Hanguang-Jun talk like this. How cute.

Eventually, they all take to the sky gracefully and begin their journey to Gusu.

It’s quiet at first. Relaxing. Wei Wuxian closes his eyes and focuses on the cool breeze blowing against his face, on the contrastingly warm body holding him close. Wei Wuxian is thankful that at least this curse isn’t messing with Lan Wangji’s breaths, their steadiness and softness a pleasant sound to listen to.

But the quietness drags. Even the juniors have nothing to say, which is weird, because by this point Wei Wuxian is usually trying to calm down a quarreling Lan Jingyi and Jin Ling. Wei Wuxian pouts at the lack of action.

It’s quiet.

Too quiet.

And, well, Wei Wuxian is not one for quiet.

“Does no one have anything to say? No stories? No jokes? Come on, it’s getting boring.”

The juniors jump at the sudden sound of Lan Wangji’s voice. Jin Ling frowns, then raises his nose to the air with a scoff. “You talk all the time. While your voice isn’t yours, the least you can do is not drag Hanguang-Jun down with you.”

“Ouch.” Wei Wuxian pouts up at Lan Wangji, who glances at Jin Ling. He looks like he’s conflicted, trying to decide whether he should cast the silencing spell on him for insulting his husband, or leaving it be because he did it with good intention. In the end, Lan Wangji focuses back on the path ahead of them. “Well, fine. If you juniors don’t want to entertain me, I’ll have to think of something else to help pass the time.”

The juniors exchange worried glances.

Wei Wuxian grins.

Maybe this curse is good for something.

“Uncle should shave his beard. It doesn’t suit him.”

An offended gasp escapes one of them. 

Lan Wangji doesn’t flinch.

Wei Wuxian now sees this as a challenge.

“I hate rabbits. Unless I’m eating them.”

Lan Wangji’s lips twitch into a frown.

“I used to love Mianmian.”

Lan Wangji’s brows pinch.

“Jiang Cheng is so cool. Really cool. The coolest.”

Lan Wangji finally looks at him. He doesn’t look too thrilled, but in the nicest way possible.

Wei Wuxian smiles sweetly up at his husband.

“Fu—”

“Senior Wei!”

“Wei Ying, enough.”

“—n. I was going to say fun , Lan Zhan. What did you think I was going to say?”

Lan Wangji doesn’t respond.

Wei Wuxian juts out his bottom lip. He crosses his arms and turns his head, but the smirk creeping along his lips betrays his attempt at playing the fool.

Then an idea materializes in his brain, and oh, it’s the best idea he’s ever had.

Now he’ll get Lan Wangji.

Wei Wuxian grins. “I love Wei Wuxian! My Wei Ying!” he bellows, and watches with glee as the words tumble loudly from Lan Wangji’s mouth. “My beautiful husband! The love of my life!” 

Wei Wuxian feels the familiar tingle of his lips. “A curse is not needed for me to say that as many times as you want to hear it."

Wei Wuxian feels his body temperature skyrocket.

I hate you, Lan Zhan, he internally whines, burying his face into the fabric of Lan Wangji’s robes. He doesn’t know if he’ll ever get used to it, how his husband has somehow surpassed him in sheer teasing ability. Why can’t you ever let me win?!

Wei Wuxian, face red, is quiet the rest of the way to Gusu.

*****

“I’ll stay out here,” Jin Ling says, leaning against the arch that separates Cloud Recesses’ from the rest of Gusu. “Just don’t take all day.”

“Are you sure? Lan Sizhui asks. “You’re welcome to come with us.”

“I don’t want to,” says Jin Ling, and that’s that.

The rest of them walk into the Cloud Recesses and head straight for the Library Pavillion. Once there, Lan Wangji walks up to a shelf and starts passing stacks of books to everyone. “These have information about non-human spirits. See what you can find.”

Lan Jingyi and Lan Sizhui nod, heading to one corner of the library to begin reading. Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji head to the low table in the center of the library. They get to their knees and spread the books out, each grabbing one to skim through.

It’s a slow, grueling process. 

It seems like every book, in its hundred or so pages, only manages to clue them in on a tiny piece of the puzzle. So far, they’ve come to learn that animal spirits are rare, but plant spirits are even rarer. On top of that, ones that can inflict curses on others are seldom seen. If it happens, it’s likely because something is beginning to mess with the energy of the area; after all, plants are alive too. But that usually happens when great harm is done to nature, and as far as they all know, Yuyao’s forests haven’t suffered from a flood or fire in recent times.

Wei Wuxian’s head is starting to hurt.

“Lan Zhaaaan. ” Wei Wuxian drapes himself over his husband’s lap and pouts up at him. “What if we can’t figure out how to undo it? What if we’re stuck like this forever?”

Lan Wangji places a hand atop Wei Wuxian’s head and brushes his bangs from his face. His eyes continue to scan the pages of the book open in his other. “We will figure it out.”

“You’re so confident, Lan Zhan.” Wei Wuxian grins up at him. “It’s kind of hot.”

Before Wei Wuxian can relish in the slowly reddening tips of his husband’s ears, the door to the Library Pavilion opens. 

“Wangji? Are you back?”

Wei Wuxian jumps in surprise, pushing himself off of Lan Wangji’s lap. Upon seeing Lan Qiren, he brings a hand to his chest. “Uncle, you really know how to scare the robes off of someone, don’t you?” he jokes, then freezes. The room goes silent, so silent that it rings in Wei Wuxian’s ears. He barely has time to look at Lan Wangji and scream apologies at him through his eyes before Lan Qiren, in the most figurative way possible, loses his mind.

“Wangji!” he splutters, face coloring red. “You—!”

Lan Wangji’s face immediately pales and he gets to his feet in record time.

“Uncle, let me explain,” comes out of Wei Wuxian’s mouth, frantic.

Oh no.

Lan Wangji turns to Wei Wuxian, silently begging him with his eyes.

Wei Wuxian understands. He gives him a quick nod and is about to repeat his words, but Lan Qiren cuts him off before he can. He points a trembling finger at Wei Wuxian. “Explain what? That this is what you teach my nephew?! To disrespect his elders with such foul imagery?!”

Wei Wuxian frowns. Foul is a bit too much. It’s not like he told Lan Qiren to personally take off his robes for him. But more than that, Wei Ying is really not in the mood for undeserved criticism, not when he’s cursed and has been digging through the entirety of Cloud Recesses’ library for hours. And so, Lan Qiren’s accusation causes him to momentarily forget why they’re even in this mess to begin with, and he blurts, “Why do you always jump to that conclusion?!”

And the words spill from Lan Wangji’s lips instead.

Wei Wuxian regrets it instantly. 

As he surveys the room of one uncle, one husband, and two disciples, Wei Wuxian thinks to himself that he’s never seen so many Lans on the verge of fainting at the same time.

Deep down inside, Wei Wuxian knows that him and Lan Wangji need to remain calm. If they do, they can approach this rationally. They can sort everything out. They can think before they speak. They can explain to Lan Qiren why his beloved nephew is talking back to him, and why his beloved nephew’s husband is barely talking at all. 

Deep down inside, Wei Wuxian knows this.

Lan Wangji, on the other hand…

Words stream from Wei Wuxian’s mouth. “Uncle. Please. Let us explain.” 

“I have no desire to talk to you,” Lan Qiren bites, then turns to Lan Wangji. “Explain yourself.”

Wei Wuxian almost laughs at the irony.

Almost.

Lan Wangji holds out his arms and bows, and because of Lan Qiren’s aversion to looking at Wei Wuxian, he doesn’t notice Wei Wuxian’s lips moving as his nephew begins talking. “Listen here. We got cursed by what we went to investigate. It’s not harmful, but it causes your words to leave someone else’s mouth.”

Lan Qiren blinks. “So…” He turns to Wei Wuxian. “Wangji?”

Wei Wuxian’s mouth pops open: “Yes.”

The room goes silent.

“...Excuse me for a moment,” Lan Qiren mumbles, then walks out of the Library Pavillion.

He doesn’t come back.

Everyone quickly continues their search for information. As the morning passes, Wei Wuxian becomes less and less optimistic that they’ll find anything, at least until the voices of two excited juniors echoes throughout the library.

“Hanguang-Jun! Senior Wei!”

The boys rush to the low table where Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji sit. They each hold out one book. “We’ve found two passages that look helpful,” Lan Sizhui explains. “Please take a look.”

Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji grab one book each. They read the mentioned excerpts silently, then switch books and do it again. They set them down on the table at the same time.

“Ah.”

“I figured.” 

Lan Sizhui looks between the two of them. “Were these helpful?”

“Very. You and Jingyi did a great job.” Wei Wuxian flashes them a thumbs up. Beside him, Lan Wangji nods in approval as Wei Wuxian’s praising words leave him.

Lan Jingyi beams. “Sizhui and I think the spirit has a greater attachment to the tree, but is linked to a larger area than that. Because when he tried to seal it, the ground started shaking, too, and it wouldn’t have if its spiritual energy were separate from the curse."

Lan Sizhui nods. “We don’t know why the curse manifested, but these texts suggest that plant spirits are easily disturbed by changes in the environment. As long as we can find out what this disturbance is, it should be relatively easy to undo it… Maybe someone removed something from the area that needs to be returned.”

Wei Wuxian’s lips part: “You two have researched very well.”

Lan Sizhui and Lan Jingyi smile and bow. “Thank you, Hanguang-Jun!”

Wei Wuxian laughs - God, I will never get used to hearing that come from Lan Zhan’s mouth - and claps his hands. “Yes, yes. You two are shaping up to be great disciples. I will make one comment, though.” He points to his mouth. “Remember: as silly as curses may seem, the effect they have on the victims usually reflect what the problem is. I don’t think snatching something from the forest would lead to a curse where every pair’s voices are switched. Do you?”

Lan Jingyi and Lan Sizhui bring their hands to their chin in thought. They shake their heads.

Wei Wuxian’s lips part again: “So what would you two do?”

“We should go back to Yuyao and investigate what could’ve upset the forest,” says Lan Jingyi. 

“Bingo!” Wei Wuxian stands up and Lan Wangi rises with him. “And we should leave now so we can get there before dark. Any complaints, Lan Zhan?”

Lan Wangji shakes his head. 

“Then let’s go.”

***** 

On their way back to Yuyao, the juniors fill Jin Ling in on their findings.

Jin Ling crosses his arms. “So whatever upset the forest, it’s making it want to tear people’s heads off and feed them moss? But somehow that translates to switching voices?”

Lan Sizhui shakes his head. “The energy we felt was sad, not angry, so its intention wouldn’t be so violent. I don’t think the stone formations on the tree depict what the curse is meant to do.”

“Then maybe it’s showing what started the curse in the first place? Like the hand coming out of the tree… I don’t know, maybe some freak started punching a bunch of tree trunks.”

Lan Wangji stiffens at Wei Wuxian’s side.

Wei Wuxian has to bite his tongue to stop himself from laughing. Quiet enough so the juniors can’t hear, he turns to Lan Wangji and says, “You hear that, Lan Zhan? Some freak punched a bunch of trees.”

“Wei Ying,” comes from Wei Wuxian’s mouth, low and warning.

Wei Wuxian grins. He will never let his husband’s unusually creative way of venting his feelings after their first kiss be forgotten. 

A while later, as the sun begins to set around them as they near Yuyao, Wei Wuxian sees a familiar glimmer of purple in the trees below. It takes him a second to process, and then he’s throwing his hands into the air. “Wait!”

Everyone comes to a sudden stop, turning to Wei Wuxian with wide eyes. Lan Wangji looks concerned, but after he follows Wei Wuxian’s line of sight, he relaxes again.

The juniors look in the same direction.

Jin Ling’s jaw drops. “Uncle?!”

“Ugh, Jiang Cheng.” Wei Wuxian cups his face with his hands. “Knowing him, he’s using nighthunting as an excuse to check in on you, Jin Ling. If we don’t go down there and greet him then he’s just going to come looking for us later.”

Jin Ling huffs. “I’m not a child anymore. I don’t need him following me around and spying on me. How annoying.”

Lan Sizhui places his arms behind his back. “So Sect Leader Jiang is going to find out about your curse? Maybe he can help us.”

“No. Absolutely not. If he finds out that I’ve been cursed, he’s just going to use it as an excuse to never let me take Jin Ling out again. He’ll probably say something like Wei Wuxian, you can’t even take care of yourself, how do you expect me to trust you with Jin Ling? Trust me. He’s stubborn enough to do that.”

Jin Ling scoffs. “So what do we do then? If you stay quiet then Uncle will know for sure something’s wrong.”

Wei Wuxian closes his eyes and thinks. A light goes off above his head. He turns to Lan Wangji.

“Lan Zhan, we’re going to have to fake it till we make it. As my husband, you obviously know me really well. And as your husband, I know you well. So I think we can talk for each other without anyone finding out.”

“You think that’s enough to hide this from Uncle?” Jin Ling asks, voice so condescending it’s like he’s speaking to a five year old. “Your lips still move whenever you try and say something.”

Wei Wuxian has not considered this. “Ah, shit—”

“Senior Wei!”

“Sorry, sorry!” Wei Wuxian pouts up at Lan Wangji. “Lan Zhan, we can’t let Jiang Cheng find out. I’m trusting you to think of something.”

Lan Wangji stares at Wei Wuxian, deep in thought. His brows furrow in concentration the way they usually do when Lan Wangji works to help Wei Wuxian figure out something that he knows is important to him. Because Lan Wangji takes every role he’s ever been given very seriously, and his role as Wei Wuxian’s husband is no exception to that. Then he gives a firm, confident nod. Wei Wuxian smiles when his lips tingle: “Do not worry.”

Wei Wuxian grins, grabs his husband’s face between his hands, and gives him a big smooch. 

Things are going to go smoothly.

*****

Things are not going as smoothly as Wei Wuxian would’ve hoped.

When they’d descended from the skies and met up with Jiang Cheng, Jin Ling had asked what he was doing there, and as expected, Jiang Cheng had said that he was leading a night hunt. Then Jiang Cheng had walked up to Wei Wuxian, but before he could say anything, Lan Sizhui had jumped in and asked if they all wanted to have dinner together. And since everyone loves Lan Sizhui, combined with it being about time for dinner anyway, Jiang Cheng couldn’t say no. 

“You don’t have a problem with that, do you, Wei Wuxian?” Jiang Cheng had asked, raising a brow in challenge.

Lan Wangji had raised a sleeve to his mouth, at which point Wei Wuxian felt his lips part: “Not at all.” 

So they’d all headed for the only restaurant in Yuyao. And now, while the tables around them are lively, the one that Wei Wuxian, Lan Wangji, and Jiang Cheng are sitting at is awkward and tense. Wei Wuxian supposes this a blessing because at least him and Lan Wangji don’t have to talk as often.

“So.” Jiang Cheng drums his fingers against the table. “Has Jin Ling been behaving?”

From the corner of his eye, Wei Wuxian sees Lan Wangji raise a cup of water to his lips. Then his own part: “Yes.”

“He told me you made progress on the curse.”

Wei Wuxian nods. “Yes.”

“He also told me that Hanguang-Jun over here silenced him twice.”

A pause, and then, “Yes.”

Wei Wuxian winces as the word leaves his lips.

Jiang Cheng frowns. “Is that all you can say? Yes? You usually never shut up and now your vocabulary’s been limited to one word?” He clicks his tongue and looks away. “If you don’t want to hold a conversation with me, Wei Wuxian, I’d be happy to leave. I’m not exactly on my knees begging to talk to you either.”

Wei Wuxian widens his eyes and he throws out his hands and waves them. He, at this moment, hates the feeling of constriction in his throat more than ever. His mouth pops open: “No, no. Sorry, I’m just a little tired. Please. Let’s talk, Jiang Cheng.”

Relief blossoms in Wei Wuxian’s chest at how natural that sounded. Jiang Cheng even visibly relaxes, his shoulders dropping and the crease between his brows smoothing out. If not for the fact that it would drive Jiang Cheng out of here faster than lightning, he would’ve given Lan Wangji the biggest kiss.

Unfortunately, Jiang Cheng is now a little too relaxed.

Jiang Cheng snorts. “You? Tired? I still remember when Mother had you sweeping every crevice in Lotus Pier as punishment for taking our disciples out for half the day, and when you finished, you still had enough energy to go and jump from trees.”

Wei Wuxian smiles fondly at the memory, recalling the anger on Madam Yu’s face when she’d realized that everyone had skipped out on a day of training thanks to him. It had taken him hours to sweep, and Jiang Yanli had brought him soup in secret, worried that he’d collapse in the sun if he didn’t have food in his stomach.

Jiang Cheng bringing up a memory from their past, let alone one with Madam Yu in it, causes a lump to form in Wei Wuxian’s throat. Even now, it’s hard for him to come to terms with the fact that the person he’s called his brother for most of his life hardly wants anything to do with him anymore. So Jiang Cheng initiating this conversation of theirs, reliving the past in a way free of anger or regret, is not unwanted.

Wei Wuxian musters up a smile. It wobbles at its edges. 

Then he waits for Lan Wangji’s reply for him. Wei Wuxian briefly remembers telling him this story before. He tells Lan Wangji hundreds of stories about his life, usually while they travel from territory to territory, mostly as a means of passing the time and filing the silence around them. So Wei Wuxian can’t really expect Lan Wangji to remember this particular one and he, of course, won’t blame him for it. 

Wei Wuxian’s lips part on their own and he readies himself for the inevitable—

“If I remember correctly, you were with me and weren’t telling me to stop, Jiang Cheng.”

Wei Wuxian blinks as the words leave him. 

Across the table, Jiang Cheng also blinks, but then a smile curls at his lips.

“Only because you wouldn’t have listened to me anyway.”

“Like that’s ever stopped you. You’ve never been shy to tell me how stupid you think I’m being.”

“Ha, you think I told you every time? Wei Wuxian, when were you not stupid?”

“You didn’t think I was stupid when I suggested you send flowers to—”

“Wei Wuxian!” Pink dusts at Jiang Cheng’s cheek and he turns his head. “Don’t bring that up.”

With Jiang Cheng’s attention momentarily diverted, Wei Wuxian turns to his husband with wide eyes. Lan Wangji is still holding the cup up to his mouth, water perfectly still. Wei Wuxian extends a hand slowly to brush at his sleeve, hoping the action can convey everything he wants to and can’t say. Lan Wangji briefly lowers the cup from his lips and turns his head slightly in Wei Wuxian’s direction. Golden eyes soften when they meet his own gray ones, and they shine with a reminder of his earlier promise.

I told you not to worry, Wei Ying.

Wei Wuxian is in love with this man.

He is unequivocally, indisputably, undeniably in love with this man.

And Wei Wuxian can’t wait, now more than ever, to get his voice back so he can say that.

The moment is ruined when Jiang Cheng regains his composure.

“Only an asshole like you would bring that up after the shameless flirting you did just to get a free jar of liquor. I can’t believe you—”

Wei Wuxian hurls his body over the table and claps a hand over Jiang Cheng’s mouth. The sound resonates throughout the room and dozens of heads turn in their direction.

But then his lips part: “Can’t believe I what?”

Jiang Cheng furrows his brows and pushes Wei Wuxian’s hand away. “Why would you put your hand over my mouth and then ask me to explain it? You’re so fucking weird.”

“What did I do?” Wei Wuxian hears himself ask. “I can’t remember.”

Wei Wuxian feels his soul leave his body. His husband is a monster. He briefly debates the consequences of running out of the restaurant in front of everyone’s eyes.

“Yeah, judging by that reaction, I completely believe you.” Jiang Cheng crosses his arms. “Forget it. I’m not saying anything.”

Wei Wuxian has never been more grateful for Jiang Cheng’s stubbornness than he is now.

And thankfully, Lan Wangji makes no effort to probe the topic further.

The flow of conversation after that is, to Wei Wuxian’s delight, fun. It’s nowhere near the level they used to do it at, but at one point, him (well, Lan Wangji) and Jiang Cheng start bickering back and forth. Wei Wuxian doesn’t even care that he’s really the bystander in all of this. The words that leave his mouth are natural, witty and playful and so Wei Wuxian-like that he keeps forgetting a curse has even been cast on him. 

Wei Wuxian also gets the sneaking suspicion that Lan Wangji is having a little too good of a time thinking of ways to make Jiang Cheng tick.

In particular, the subtle gleam in Lan Wangji’s eyes when Wei Wuxian’s mouth opens to say “Oh, famous sect leader Jiang Wanyin, how do I have bad taste when Lan Zhan was the second most eligible bachelor?“ is adorably evil.

Jiang Cheng grumbles a Whatever , and then at the mention of Lan Wangji, finally turns to look at him. Jiang Cheng raises a brow. “Is he okay? He’s drinking a lot of water.”

Lan Wangji turns his head to fake a cough into his sleeve, at which point Wei Wuxian feels his lips part: “He’s fine. We just walked a lot today.”

Jiang Cheng snorts. “And is it a rule in Gusu to drink a drop of water at a time? He’s had the cup raised to his mouth since we sat down but it still looks full.”

Wei Wuxian smiles sheepishly, then frantically taps Lan Wangji’s leg from under the table.

Beside him, Lan Wangji downs his entire cup in two seconds flat.

In moderation, Lan Zhan! Wei Wuxian screams from inside his head, suddenly wishing this curse also granted them the ability to communicate telepathically. Now it looks even weirder!

Jiang Cheng, thankfully, doesn’t care enough to comment. Instead, he looks around the room, and then out the window. “It’s getting late. We need to head back to Lotus Pier while we can still see in front of us.”

Wei Wuxian blinks and catches a glimpse of the setting sun. Had it really been hours already?

No words leave his mouth. Wei Wuxian turns to look at Lan Wangji, who is staring at him so intensely that it causes his heart to thud in his chest. The skin between Lan Wangji’s eyebrows is wrinkled in thought. Wei Wuxian’s not sure what’s going on in his husband’s mind, but he subtly nods in Jiang Cheng’s direction, wanting to get across that they need to say goodbye.

Wei Wuxian turns back to Jiang Cheng and smiles. The dinner had gone a lot better than he’d ever hoped for, and he’s not sure when they’ll meet again, but hopes it’s soon. His lips tingle.

“You should come visit us in Gusu.”

Jiang Cheng stiffens. 

Even Wei Wuxian stiffens, because that’s the last thing he expects to come out of his mouth.

“Wei Wuxian, did I hear you correctly?”

“It would be fun,” Wei Wuxian hears himself say. “You don’t have to stay for too long. I’ll even let you sneak in some Emperor’s Smile while you’re at it.”

Jiang Cheng scoffs. “What, now that you’re married to the esteemed Hanguang-Jun, you have the power to change Cloud Recesses’ rules?” He clears his throat and brings a hand up to rub at the back of his neck. “Yeah, I’ll think about it. Lotus Pier has a lot going on right now but… maybe soon. Maybe when I have some business there.”

“Okay,” Wei Wuxian says, but in his daze, it comes out breathily. 

Then he notices Jiang Cheng peek up at Lan Wangji, curious about his reaction to the unexpected invitation - Oh, Jiang Cheng, if only you knew - and now it’s Wei Wuxian’s turn to hold up his cup of water as a cover.

“You’re welcome to visit.”

Jiang Cheng says nothing, but acknowledges Lan Wangji with a nod. Wei Wuxian turns to Lan Wangji and mouths Thank you , to which Lan Wangji reaches down to gently swipe a thumb across his hand.

In Wei Wuxian’s mind, this is where the night ends. But when the three of them stand up, seconds away from parting, Jiang Cheng holds out a hand to stop them in their tracks. “Wait,” he says. “I want to speak with Hanguang-Jun.” His eyes flit to Wei Wuxian. “Alone.”

Wei Wuxian pretends to sneeze.

“...Alone?” comes from Lan Wangji’s mouth.

Jiang Cheng doesn’t elaborate. “Meet me in the forest behind this place,” he says, then walks out of the restaurant before they can argue.

Wei Wuxian watches him leave, then turns to Lan Wangji in a panic.

“Lan Zhan! If I’m not there then you can’t talk with him!”

“Mn.”

“Wow, Jiang Cheng, seriously ? I don’t know what goes on in his mind sometimes.”

“Wei Ying.”

“We were having such a nice time and he goes and pulls this stunt. Lan Zhan, maybe I should just say ‘Yes’ over and over and hope that it’s answering all his questions and also not cutting him off. Do you think that’s a good idea? Maybe every thirty seconds?”

“Wei Ying.” Lan Wangji takes his hand. “It will be fine. Just follow closely behind. Stay hidden.”

Wei Wuxian takes a breath and nods. Lan Wangji gives his hand a squeeze, then leans down to place a chaste kiss on his lips. Its calming effects are nothing short of miraculous; Wei Wuxian already feels a lot better about this annoyingly inconvenient situation. 

Lan Wangji leaves first. Wei Wuxian waits a couple moments before walking outside, slowly creeping around the back of the restaurant to the mouth of the forest. He quietly tiptoes around bushes and trees, then hurriedly hides behind one when he catches a glimpse of snow-white robes.

I can do this, Wei Wuxian thinks. I can do this.

“Lan Wangji.”

Wei Wuxian takes a breath.

“Jiang Wanyin.”

It goes silent. Wei Wuxian frowns. Why would Jiang Cheng want to talk to Lan Zhan?

Then Jiang Cheng exhales, slow and deep. “Is he happy?”

Wei Wuxian blinks. He doesn’t expect that question, and it throws him off so much that he forgets he has to speak for Lan Wangji. Jiang Cheng clicks his tongue as the silence stretches and elaborates, “In Gusu. With you and your three thousand fucking rules. Is he happy?”

Wei Wuxian blinks back to reality. His bottom lip trembles ever so slightly. His fingers curl into loose fists at his side. “Yes,” he breathes, words traveling through a mouth that’s not his own. He unknowingly smiles as his thoughts fill with images of waking up next to Lan Wangji, kissing him good morning before they part to teach the next generation of disciples, and reconnecting at the end of the day to eat together and fall asleep in each other’s arms. “He’s very happy.” 

Silence.

And then, “A few weeks ago, I had this weird dream. I dreamt of Jiejie.” Wei Wuxian’s breath catches in his throat at Jiang Cheng’s words. “She said that she missed me. And Wei Wuxian. And she wanted to know that you love him as much as he loves you. Yeah, I know it’s a dream so it’s probably all bullshit, but we’re here anyway, so I’ll ask you on Jiejie’s behalf. Even though I’m sure the entire cultivation world knows the answer.”

Wei Wuxian doesn’t know what to say. Is he supposed to compliment himself? Describe Lan Wangji’s love for him? As shameless as he is, that’s too much, even for him. 

Damn you, Jiang Cheng, Wei Wuxian groans into his mind. You could’ve told Shiije yourself!

Wei Wuxian doesn’t know why he suddenly feels so nervous. He gnaws at his bottom lip. This is supposed to be easy, so easy, because Lan Wangji has told him in a thousand different ways how much he loves him. All he has to do is pick one of them! But still, it’s different that he’s going to be saying it for him. As married as they are, Wei Wuxian can still sometimes feel a claw of insecurity in him, and now, it’s digging into his soul.

But he has to say something, and he quickly decides on what.

“I love Wei Ying more than anything.” Lan Wangji’s strong voice brings the hesitant words to life. “More than anyone.”

Silence again. 

Wei Wuxian briefly worries that his heart is pounding way too loud to not be heard.

“Well, Jiejie, there you go,” Jiang Cheng mutters, and then he wordlessly walks away, out of the forest and out of view.

When he’s sure he’s gone, Wei Wuxian slowly steps out from his hiding place. Lan Wangji’s eyes immediately find him and he begins to walk over, white robes gliding across the forest floor. He stops in front of Wei Wuxian and says nothing, but tilts his head towards the direction of the inn, silently asking if they should go back.

Wei Wuxian doesn’t move. Instead he laughs nervously, which means Lan Wangji’s laughing nervously, and that just makes him more nervous, so he laughs harder. Lan Wangji looks perplexed. Wei Wuxian clears his throat and says through Lan Wangji’s full lips, “That probably isn’t what you would have said, is it, Lan Zhan?”

Lan Wangji’s eyes glimmer with understanding. 

Wei Wuxian feels his lips tingle: “No, it’s not.”

Wei Wuxian’s stomach drops for a brief second. Then Lan Wangji is grabbing his chin and tilting his head up, and presses their lips together so hard that Wei Wuxian sees stars. Lan Wangji is kissing him deep , so it’s really not his fault that his knees begin to shake, threatening to buckle.

The swipe of Lan Wangji’s tongue along his bottom lip starts to make him lightheaded and he breaks the kiss with a stuttering gasp. Lan Wangji has apparently kissed Wei Wuxian’s name right out of him, because it takes him a second to remember what it is. 

Once Wei Wuxian catches his breath, Lan Wangji gently cups his face with his hand.

“You said far too little. My love for Wei Ying is much more than that.”

Wei Wuxian feels his heart rise to his throat.

He loves this man.

He would live, breathe, and die for this man.

“Lan Zhan.”

“Mm?”

“I love you.”

“I love you, Wei Ying.”

“Lan Zhan.”

“Mm?”

“Let’s go to the inn.”

*****

When Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji had stepped out of the forest, the juniors had been waiting for them. Wei Wuxian had quickly told them to get some rest, that it was already too dark to try and investigate the reason behind the forest’s sadness, and had (as inconspicuously as possible) dragged Lan Wangji to the inn.

Now, Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji stand in the middle of their room, kissing each other breathless. 

“I love you.” Wei Wuxian presses his chest against Lan Wangji’s and kisses him as hard as he can manage. When they need to part for air, Wei Wuxian doesn’t pull back too far, their breaths still intermingling. “You’re too good to me, Lan Zhan. Thank you.”

Lan Wangji’s chest rises and falls, warm against Wei Wuxian. “He is important to you.”

Wei Wuxian swallows the lump forming in his throat. He says again, “Thank you.”

Lan Wangji shakes his head. “You do not need to thank me, Wei Ying. Gusu is your home too. You are free to invite whoever you want, just as I am.”

Wei Wuxian smiles. He remembers when he and Lan Wangji had gotten married, how he’d been told “Everything in Gusu is yours now. Everything I own, you own.” Lan Wangji had made it his life’s mission to ensure that Wei Wuxian knew that he was no longer just a visitor of Cloud Recesses, but that it was his home , a place he should feel comfortable, loved, and safe. 

And oh, does Wei Wuxian feel it. Waking up to the sun’s soft glow, bouncing off the wall of the jingshi, has felt natural to him since the first day. The Lan Clan (with the exception of Lan Qiren, at times) had accepted Wei Wuxian’s integration into their bubble so easily that his worries had expelled practically overnight.

If anything, Wei Wuxian likes to think that he gets more privileges than everyone else, judging by the fact that Lan Wangji lets him bring Emperor's Smile into their home.

Wei Wuxian kisses the tip of Lan Wangj’s nose. “And I can’t believe you remember all the dumb stories I’ve told you, Lan Zhan.”

“Not dumb.” Lan Wangji gives him a kiss back. “Everything about Wei Ying is interesting.”

Wei Wuxian smiles. “Lan Zh—”

“Particularly the shameless flirting you did to obtain a free jar of liquor.”

Wei Wuxian’s gaze locks onto his husband, waiting for a reply, then crushes their lips together again. And Lan Wangji is never one to deny his kisses, so the topic is effectively dropped.

Wei Wuxian begins mouthing down Lan Wangji’s neck and his shoulder, and Lan Wangji slips his hands from Wei Wuxian’s hips to his thighs, squeezing them gently. Then Wei Wuxian tilts his head back up to capture his husband’s lips. Lan Wangji nips at Wei Wuxian’s bottom lip and coaxes him into opening his mouth, tongue slipping into it.

Wei Wuxian moans, and the sound reverberates from Lan Wangji instead.

He pauses, the gears in his head turning, then leans back and grins.

Lan Wangji’s gaze darts to Wei Wuxian’s glistening lips, and then to his heaving chest, and then to his cunning eyes. He waits.

Wei Wuxian hums.

“Interesting that this curse of ours isn’t limited only to words, but includes sounds too, huh?”

Lan Wangji says nothing.

“It’s also interesting that, just last week, I told you that you should really make more noise.”

Lan Wangji swallows heavily.

Wei Wuxian smiles sweetly up at him.

“Lan Zhan. Maybe we should have sex so I can moan up a storm for you.” 

Lan Wangji’s ears flush red faster than Wei Wuxian’s ever seen, which fills him with satisfaction. But this is also totally backfiring, because hearing those words roll off of Lan Wangji’s tongue is really too much. A shiver runs down Wei Wuxian’s spine. He continues, “Should we, Lan Zhan?”

Lan Wangji’s bottom lip quivers. His eyes widen a fraction. His brows twitch, and his fingers do the same along Wei Wuxian’s hips. He looks like he’s in pain, but not a bad pain. No, Wei Wuxian knows this particular pain very well. It rears its head when the both of them are cooped up in a conference for too long, when Wei Wuxian misses his husband too much and starts to stretch too sensually, starts to whimper in satisfaction at the crack of his back too loudly.

Wei Wuxian grins deviously. “Lan Zhan,” he whispers against Lan Wangji’s ear, the voice coming from his husband’s lips, but his own breath still ghosting across Lan Wangji’s skin. “Think about it. I wouldn’t be the only one having fun. You can make me say anything you want.” He darts his tongue out to swipe across Lan Wangji’s jawline. “Aren’t there things you’ve always wanted me to say, Lan Zhan?”

“Wei Ying,” claws from Wei Wuxian’s mouth, desperate, but it comes out muffled as Wei Wuxian dots kisses along the skin of Lan Wangji’s neck. 

“Are you really doing to deny me this?” Wei Wuxian playfully whines. “Er-gege.”

Which is a mistake, because Wei Wuxian instantly feels his legs weaken as the words leave his husband. Paired with Lan Wangji’s darkening eyes and the ease at which they’d rolled off his tongue, Wei Wuxian feels like the words are really meant for him.

Wei Wuxian isn’t given much time to think about it before Lan Wangji is backing him up against the wall and devouring his lips. Suddenly their hands are everywhere, tugging at robes, pushing them off shoulders, caressing arms and legs and sides, and Wei Wuxian loves this, can tell that Lan Wangji loves this, is going to have so much fun with this, and—

“Say that again! I dare you!”

They freeze.

“I’ll say it as many times as you want! Don’t compare your dumb donkey to my dog!”

“Apple is a part of the Lan Clan now! Try and call him dumb one more time!”

“I can call him whatever I want! He technically belonged to the Jin Clan’s Mo Xuanyu first!”

“You two! Stop fighting before Hanguang-Jun overhears!”

Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji look at the door, and then at each other. Their faces are flushed and their robes are halfway off of their bodies.

“Should I silence them?”

“Don’t bother.” Wei Wuxian lets his head fall against Lan Wangji’s chest in dejection. “They’ve just made me realize how thin the walls here are.” 

*****

The next morning, Wei Wuxian descends down the stairs of the inn, tired and sexually deprived.

This is not a good combination.

He sits at the table where Lan Wangji and the juniors have already gathered and rubs at his temples. “Please. Let’s figure out today what this curse is and undo it.” 

“We’ve already started, Senior Wei,” Lan Sizhui says, picking up on Wei Wuxian’s not-so-great mood. “We asked the innkeeper if anyone has messed with the surrounding forests lately. He brought up that there was a plan to expand the town Eastward to accommodate the influx of travelers, but ever since rumors of the curse spread, they put the idea on hold since no one stops here anymore.”

Wei Wuxian blinks at this, interest peaked. Then his lips part: “There were plans for deforestation in the area behind Zihan’s home.”

“The area behind Zihan’s home…” Wei Wuxian sits up so quickly his head spins. “That’s where the tree is!”

Lan Wangji nods. Wei Wuxian is suddenly in a much better mood.

“Okay, okay, this is good. That makes sense, then, why the forest would emit sad spiritual energy. Of course it wouldn’t want to be cut down.” He pauses. “But how would the forest know in the first place?”

Lan Jingyi leans forward. “The innkeeper said that they had tried to clear an area of the forest a while ago, just to map out how much space they’d need. They dug up a lot of bushes and started cutting down a tree, but then it got late so they went home. When they came back in the morning, all the tools they’d left were gone.”

“Likely swallowed up by the Earth,” Lan Sizhui says.

Wei Wuxian wants to cry from happiness. “I love you guys. You’re the best juniors. You really are. Lan Zhan, aren’t you so proud of them?”

Then Jin Ling speaks, voice hesitant. “I don’t mean to be negative here, but didn’t you say that we can undo the curse if we figure out how to make the forest happy again? Like returning some stolen artifact? If this whole curse started because of deforestation, then how can we undo that? The only reason the forests’ spirits sensed the deforestation is because the residents started taking an axe to the trees. How will they know when it’s not a threat anymore?”

Wei Wuxian’s happiness deflates.

“That’s a good point, Jin Ling,” Lan Sizhui says.

“Of course it is!”

“Okay, let’s not panic. I’ve never heard of an eternal curse before. Have you, Lan Zhan?”

“I have.”

“Lan Zhan!”

“I cannot lie.”

Wei Wuxian drags his hands down his face. 

“Okay, okay. There has to be something. Think about it: if this curse was started because of a deforestation threat, what would you think the curse would be?”

Lan Jingyi raises a hand. “I would probably cast an evil curse that took one of your limbs every time a tree was chopped. Then we would be even.”

“Okay. I like the creativity, Jingyi.” Wei Wuxian gives him a thumbs up. “I’m thinking something along the lines of violent, too. But that’s clearly not what’s happened, so although the overall reason behind this curse might be deforestation, there’s another motive here.”

The group falls into silence as they think.

Then Wei Wuxian’s lips tingle: “The stone head.”

Everyone’s ears perk up.

When Lan Wangji has everyone’s attention, he continues. “Yuyao has always been surrounded by forests. Have there ever been reports of them disturbing the environment?”

The juniors shake their heads. Wei Wuxian looks curiously at his husband.

Lan Wangji nods. “The spirits are aware that the residents of Yuyao have never attempted to harm them. There is no need to cast violent curses on those who have never wronged you.”

Wei Wuxian’s eyes light up in understanding.

“If you disagree with someone, what should you do?”

Lan Sizhui hums. “Talk to them about it?”

Lan Wangji nods. “You try to make them understand your point of view.”

“Lan Zhan, you’re a genius,” Wei Wuxian breathes, and he really appreciates that those words are coming from Lan Wangji’s mouth, because he relishes in the feeling of his husband complimenting himself.

Lan Wangji says nothing. He nods towards the juniors, asking Wei Wuxian to take the lead.

“Alright, guys, Hanguang-Jun is onto something here. The forest spirits don’t need to go chopping off limbs if they can just get the residents here to understand that the environment should be left alone. Think about the stone formations: a hand coming out of a tree, and moss coming out of a human mouth. What do you think that represents?”

Lan Jingyi snaps his fingers. “A connection between nature and humanity!”

Lan Sizhui smiles wide. “The moss falling from the mouth must symbolize the spirits wanting Yuyao’s residents to understand their wishes. Similar to how we feed our words to others in an attempt to get them to side with us.”

Even Jin Ling, who has tried his very best to look impartial to all this, has a sparkle of fascination in his eyes. “So if that’s the forest spirits’ goal, then the curse makes more sense. Whatever you say, whatever opinion you have, comes out of someone else instead.” Then he frowns and crosses his arms. “But how does that help the forest? Wouldn’t it be more effective to have the curse partner up someone with, I don’t know, a flower?”

Lan Jingyi clicks his tongue. “How would that even work? What noise do flowers make? I bet that’s where the curse failed. Its energy probably can’t contain itself within something that can’t even speak, so it unintentionally started cursing pairs of people instead.”

Wei Wuxian’s lips part: “You are correct, Jingyi.”

Then Lan Wangji’s do: “And if that’s the case, then there’s really only one way to undo this curse…” Wei Wuxian grimaces. “And I’m not going to like it.”

The juniors tilt their heads in confusion. Then Lan Jingy gasps.

“Do you have to… eat the moss?”

“Probably. That’ll symbolize that we’ve come to understand the viewpoint of the forest.” The juniors share a look of concern at those words. Wei Wuxian blinks. “What is it?”

Jin Ling clears his throat. He sounds nervous. “Since the two of you are cursed together… do you have to… eat moss out of each other’s mouths…?”

Lan Wangji chokes on his water.

Wei Wuxian waits for him to stop coughing, then laughs and uses Lan Wangji’s lips to playfully scold, “Who taught you that kind of stuff? Jiang Cheng?”

*****

After Wei Wuxian assures everyone that no, they will not be eating moss from each other’s mouths, he sends the juniors off to gather some of it. He then leans against Lan Wangji and closes his eyes. He can’t wait for all of this to be over.

The juniors hurry back. When they hold out the moss, Wei Wuxian frowns. “You want us to eat it like this?”

Jin Ling scoffs. “How else are you going to eat? It’s moss.”

Weu Wuxian waves his hand. “At least try and make it edible for us. Here, go ask the innkeeper politely if you can use his kitchen. We’re trusting you to mask the taste as much as you can.”

“Senior Wei,” Lan Sizhui begins. “You want us to make you a dish out of moss?”

“We’ll do it,” Jin Ling and Lan Jingyi echo, a strange glimmer in their eyes. They pull Lan Sizhui away before he can say anything else. 

Wei Wuxian’s lips part: “They looked excited.”

Memories of Yi City flash in Wei Wuxian’s mind.

Ah. They want revenge.

“Prepare yourself, Lan Zhan,” is all he says, ignoring the look of concern on Lan Wangji’s face.

It’s a while before they come back, but when they do, it’s with mischievous smiles on their faces. Only Lan Sizhui looks apologetic as Jin Ling lowers a green concoction before them. 

Wei Wuxian immediately covers his nose at the smell and gags. His eyes start to burn. “I told you to make the moss edible!”

“Shut up! You don’t know if it’s edible until you try it!”

Wei Wuxian feels a hand grab a hold of his own comfortingly. He turns his head and sees Lan Wangji nodding at him. Wei Wuxian sighs. “Alright, alright. Pour us some into a bowl.”

The juniors start an assembly line of grabbing a bowl, spooning the green soup into it, and handing it to the cursed pair. Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji stare at what they’ve been given. Wei Wuxian feels sweat begin to bead on his forehead.

Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji nod at each other, then quickly down the contents of the bowl.

In no time at all, this day becomes the worst of their lives.

The juniors stare in silence at the spectacle before them.

Wei Wuxian, flailing his arms and legs, on the verge of rolling across the floor, is dramatically clutching at his throat, plugging his nose to mask the taste, and moving his lips in a wild yet soundless flurry. 

Lan Wangji, attempting to remain expressionless, but there is definitely a tear budding in the corner of his eye, is clutching his robe so tightly that his knuckles are white, and his mouth is spewing things like “Poison! This is poison!” and “My second life ends here! See you all in the next one!”

Lan Sizhui quickly brings them cups of water, but their souls have left their body, so they don’t even register what’s going on around them. Wei Wuxian almost wishes for death to find him.

It takes minutes for the taste to leave their mouths. 

Only then does a flicker of life return to Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji.

Lan Jingyi kneels in front of them. “Did it work?”

Now that Wei Wuxian doesn’t feel like he’s fighting with every ounce of his strength to stay in the land of the living, he notices a difference. His throat is less constricted and his tongue feels lighter. He brings a hand up to prod at his lips, no longer tingling under his touch. Wei Wuxian grins in delight and opens his mouth to share the good news with everyone, until a voice to his left abruptly stops him.

“Fuck.”

Wei Wuxian’s eyes snap to Lan Wangji. Before he can process what just happened, the juniors all throw their hands into the air with a groan. 

“It didn’t work?” cries Jin Ling. “Seriously?!”

“And you!” Lan Jingyi points an accusatory finger at Wei Wuxian. “Stop making Hanguang-Jun say those things!”

Wei Wuxian is not mentally present enough to defend himself. All he can do is stare at Lan Wangji in complete and utter shock. His fingers come up to prod at his lips again, and he lets out a small grunt, audible only to himself, to check if he has his voice back. It rolls out of his mouth effortlessly.

Wei Wuxian almost wishes it didn’t.

Wei Wuxian cannot believe this is happening.

“Senior Wei.” Lan Sizhui kneels in front of Wei Wuxian, a concerned downturn to his brows. “Did we do it incorrectly?”

Wei Ying doesn’t know. Did they? Because he definitely just heard Lan Wangji curse, and Lan Wangji never curses. Wei Wuxian begins to wonder if maybe they screwed up the reversal so badly that now even his hearing is jeopardized. 

Before Wei Wuxian can speak up, Lan Wangji does.

“It worked,” he says, monotone. “It may have needed an extra second to fully reverse.”

Wei Wuxian’s jaw drops. 

Lan Wangji’s eyes glimmer with subtle amusement.

Oh my god, Wei Wuxian thinks. I married the most evil man in the world.

The juniors are unaware of the turmoil that Wei Wuxian is currently experiencing. They give each other high fives, happiness radiating from their hearts, until Lan Wangji speaks up. “Now you must go to the houses of the cursed children and share this with them.”

Their smiles drop.

“We... need to feed that to… to kids?” 

“Mn.”

“Hanguang-Jun…”

“In the future, you should consider your pranks carefully.”

Wei Wuxian pipes up, “And while you’re at it, go and bury the stone head. We don’t know how long this curse will last and we don’t want anyone else getting it. Let the innkeeper know to spread the word that no one is to cut down any trees, or mess with any of the surrounding nature. We don’t want to have to come back here in a few months.”

The juniors nod slowly, then regretfully carry the pot of green horror out the door.

Right when they leave, Wei Wuxian turns to his husband.

“I thought lying was prohibited!” Wei Wuxian hisses, jamming a finger into Lan Wangji’s chest.

“I did not lie. I told them it worked.”

“Yeah, but before that , you acted like it didn’t.”

“Mm.” Lan Wangj casts Wei Wuxian a side glance. Wei Wuxian swears he sees the corners of his lips twitch. “What they choose to believe is not my fault. Maybe if Wei Ying didn’t use language like that to begin with, they wouldn’t have made that assumption.” 

Wei Wuxian clicks his tongue and turns his head with a huff.

Not even a second later, he feels fingers grasp his chin and spin him back around. Lan Wangji places a chaste kiss on his lips, and this time, the whimper that leaves Wei Wuxian’s mouth is his own.

“Missed Wei Ying’s voice,” Lan Wangji breathes when they part, eyes shining down at him with adoration.

Wei Wuxian laughs. “If you missed my voice so much, you could’ve just made me talk more.”

“Mm.” Lan Wangji places a kiss to the top of Wei Wuxian’s head. “Not the same.”

“Sure, sure.” Wei Wuxian strokes Lan Wangji’s cheek with his thumb. “Personally, I had a great time listening to you blabber on and on.” Wei Wuxian hums. “I really do talk a lot, Lan Zhan. I don’t know how you deal with it.”

“I love when you speak,” he declares confidently.

Wei Wuxian laughs. “Do you now?”

Lan Wangi nods. “Missed Wei Ying’s voice,” he says again, placing another soft kiss on his lips.

Wei Wuxian grins and fists the front of Lan Wangji’s robe in his hands. “What do you say we hurry back to Gusu so you can coax it out of me?”

That night, Wei Wuxian moans enough for the both of them.