Chapter Text
It’s still strange, having Sasuke freely welcome in the village again.
So many years of chasing and running and searching, finally coming to an end. It’s surreal, and sometimes Naruto wakes and suddenly remembers, thinks, oh. Because things are different now, Sasuke is different and Naruto’s different and their ever evolving relationship has changed again. And it’s for the better, it has to be, because Sasuke is finally just in his reach and Naruto never wants to lose him again. Not for anything, and certainly not to Sasuke's own self-destruction.
An opened letter from Sasuke is sitting on his desk, a letter he’s already read over tens of times by now. The paper is already worn, crinkled at the corners due to Naruto's incessant worrying. It's the last he's heard from the Uchiha, words crisp in pressed ink.
Sasuke is not in the village all of the time, Naruto would be an idiot to expect him to always be here, but that letter is proof that Sasuke is still willing to come back.
And maybe that means something even more, in the end. That no matter what, Sasuke had a place here, should he choose to take it.
He’s still willing to talk to Naruto, send him short, curt letters that Naruto reads over and over again like they’re some sort of holy text. Naruto receives the letters sporadically, and they’re never particularly long, but he can’t help but cherish each and every one. He keeps them in his desk in his office, putting them in a secret, separate compartment for him to come back to at his own leisure. As if they were something to hide, to keep safe and locked away.
He reads them over when he gets particularly lonely or stressed, taking a brief break in the endless work he has as Hokage. He’s tired beyond belief, stretched thin and he feels decades older than he truly is, but the letters help. He reads the words and imagines them being said in Sasuke’s cutting, sharp tone and smiles in the privacy of his own office.
Sasuke may not have been back to the village for around four months now, but he’s not completely out of reach, not anymore.
And then there are times where he forgets for a moment, too. He’ll wake up, sweating and gasping and he’ll think desperately he never came back; it was just a dream. But it’s not, by some miracle, it’s not a dream.
Sasuke is finally within reach again, and even if he won’t stay in Konoha, not where Naruto truly wants him, Naruto has learned that it is better than nothing. Some days, he’s just grateful to have Sasuke in any capacity at all, because he knows that it is infinitely better than nothing .
Some people have told him he’s too easy to please, too forgiving towards Sasuke. Naruto thinks they might be right, but it seems he’s always been willing to make exceptions for Sasuke when he really probably shouldn’t. But it’s dangerous to push Sasuke, dangerous to ask for too much, to put expectations on Sasuke that he can’t reach.
So Naruto doesn’t. He’s satisfied with their arrangement, with Sasuke’s spontaneous visits. He’s fine with it, truly.
And if his lips touch the ink of the parchment Sasuke had written on, if his eyes well up and he has to swallow the lump in his throat, well, no one has to know but him.
_______
Sasuke is less than a mile away from the gates of Konoha when he senses Naruto. The blonde is in front of him only moments later, standing with his hands on his hips and still dressed in that garish orange he’s refused to change since they were young children.
Naruto is smiling, and although it’s happy it’s—smaller. It’s tired around the edges and there are bags under Naruto’s eyes dark enough to look like bruises. It makes something in Sasuke’s chest twinge and he forcefully pushes the feeling down.
“Sasuke—you—you’re back. I sensed you coming so—um—you didn’t say you were going to be back, though. In your last letter I mean—which was sent over half a month ago, but.” Naruto rambles, scratching the back of his head, and he looks like he’s buzzing with nerves as he laughs too loudly.
“I won’t be staying long.” Sasuke cuts in before Naruto can say anything else, or do anything stupid like get his hopes up.
When Naruto’s smile wanes and his eyes darken, Sasuke aggressively shoves away the pang in his chest at the sight of that brightness slipping away. It never leaves, not completely, he’s not sure Naruto is even capable of ever completely losing that light but—but.
Sasuke hates that he’s the reason that it flickers.
Naruto knew he wasn’t going to stay, though, not for very long and certainly not permanently. It’s the idiot’s own fault for expecting anything else.
“I know.” Naruto says quietly, but surely he’s not going to give in that easily because he was never the type to—
“But the least you could do is eat with me, yeah?”
Naruto looks exhausted, Sasuke feels exhausted just from looking at him, and he’s not arguing. He’s not trying to convince Sasuke to stay longer, isn’t even asking for the specifics of how long he is going to stay and—
(Sasuke doesn’t want him to ask him to stay, he doesn’t ).
“What’s wrong?” It’s out of his mouth before he even gives it permission to leave, but Sasuke doesn’t take it back.
Naruto’s eyes widen for a moment before he huffs out a quiet laugh, “I’m fine, Sasuke.”
Sasuke’s eyes narrow, and he’s decidedly unimpressed with the lie, “You gonna tell me the truth or are you gonna lie to my face again?”
“Sasuke, I’m fine. Just—tired. That’s all, promise.” Naruto tries for a smile but it’s a mockery of it’s usual one.
Sasuke’s eyes narrow so much that he’s almost squinting. “Just tired?”
His flat tone makes Naruto at least have the decency to look a little sheepish, his hand running anxiously through his hair.
“I’m just—busy. Being Hokage doesn’t offer many breaks but it’s nothing I can’t handle.”
“Is that why you look like you’re about to collapse?”
Naruto sputters, “I—I’m not . You—you asshole I said I’m fine —”
“Naruto.” Sasuke cuts in, and it looks like the fight slowly drains out of Naruto at the sound of his voice.
“Okay.” He whispers, “I’m a… little overwhelmed.”
The admission looks like it’s physically painful, and Naruto scowls, looking as if he’s mad at himself rather than at any outside influence.
“Moron.” Sasuke mumbles and begins to walk in front of him.
“Asshole—where are you going?” Naruto asks, immediately moving into step beside Sasuke.
“You wanted me to eat with you?” Sasuke says, one of his brows raising.
“Oh.” Naruto breathes, “Oh, yeah. Yeah, if that’s fine with you. We could go back to my apartment, if you want.” Naruto’s hand is running through his hair again, and his gaze is darting nervously to Sasuke as if he half expects him to refuse the offer.
Sasuke scoffs so he doesn’t have to think about it, “Whatever, it doesn’t matter to me.”
“Okay.”
Naruto keeps up a steady stream of conversation the whole walk back, a constant ramble about everything and nothing at the same time. He talks about how everyone is doing, people Sasuke hasn’t properly spoken to in years, if he had ever truly spoken with them.
Naruto talks like they’re all friends, when that’s hardly true. None of the people close to Naruto truly antagonize Sasuke, they’re barely even rude , but Sasuke knows that surely, surely they haven’t forgiven him.
Naruto had always been the one who wanted him back the most, Sakura a close second but still managing to lag significantly behind Naruto’s sheer determination to chase him and make him come back.
Everyone else had been ready to give up on him and Sasuke—Sasuke doesn’t blame them.
Naruto should have given up too, he had every right, every reason to. But for some reason that completely eludes Sasuke, Naruto is walking beside him as if there weren't years of fighting and chasing and nearly killing each other between them.
The selfish part of Sasuke revels in it. And that selfish part of Sasuke is fairly large, always has been, because he can still have Naruto like this when he and everyone else knows he doesn’t deserve it.
Naruto’s hardly changed, and something in Sasuke is grateful for that. He’s still that impatient, rambunctious idiot with a heart too big for the way that these people had treated him. These people being the people of Konoha, the people who are staring at Naruto and him as they walk side by side in the streets.
Naruto openly glares at them even while excitedly talking with Sasuke, almost as if he dares any of the civilians or stray shinobi to say anything. Most of them immediately look away when they notice Naruto’s eyes on them.
Sasuke has to stifle an amused snort at their chagrined expressions.
They eventually reach Naruto’s apartment, though, and—
“You still live here?” Sasuke blurts, feeling his brows rising because Naruto, who is the Hokage , still lives in the same tiny, rundown apartment that he has had since they were children.
“Uh, yeah.” Naruto mumbles, fishing out his keys, “I just never moved, I guess.” He shrugs as he opens the door, turning to smile at Sasuke as he gestures for him to go inside first.
Sasuke shakes his head incredulously but walks past him, taking in the small space of Naruto’s apartment. It’s covered in plants, even if there’s truly no room for Naruto to afford to cover it in so much greenery. They’re well taken care of too, Sasuke notices, much to his surprise. He’s never thought that Naruto could manage to take care of another living thing, never seeming to be one to have enough patience for it.
When Sasuke throws Naruto a look he chuckles and runs a hand through his hair, “I like them.” He says simply, closing and locking the apartment door behind him.
Sasuke hums, “How do you manage to take care of them all when you‘re so,” Sasuke pauses and then finishes with a frown, “busy.”
“I usually just send a clone over to water them.” Naruto shrugs, checking over a cactus that has a tag that reads from Gaara hanging off the side of the pot.
Sasuke’s eyes narrow, “A clone, huh? How many of those do you got running around here?”
Naruto pauses at that, scratches at the markings on his face before mumbling, “I don’t know, a few dozen, maybe.”
“A few dozen ?” Sasuke repeats, and it comes out harsher than he means it to.
It makes Naruto shrink a little but he still meets Sasuke’s gaze, “Well, yeah, I can’t exactly be everywhere at once. It gets more stuff done, this way.”
And Naruto pauses right then, eyes glazing over as he stares off for a moment before shaking his head and looking at Sasuke again, “That was one of them, uh.” Naruto waves his hand in a vague gesture that’s clearly supposed to be dismissive, a gesture that says drop it.
Sasuke absolutely does not drop it. “How do you even manage them all?”
Naruto makes an offended noise, “I have a lot of chakra! You know that, it’s not that hard to make a couple clones. And I’m not tired out that easily, either.” Naruto pouts, as if the point of Sasuke being bothered by this is because he doubts Naruto’s abilities.
Which isn’t the case, because Sasuke knows just how much chakra Naruto has and how much energy. The point is that Naruto has a few dozen clones running around and relaying information, and Naruto has circles under his eyes that look like bruises, and the idiot is probably working himself into the ground, stretching himself thin and trying to take care of and protect people who probably don’t even deserve it because Naruto is so stupid—
And Sasuke definitely isn’t supposed to be caring this much.
Sasuke can feel his face scrunching and a familiar pressure in his chest and throat, but he holds the anger in. He breathes out a ragged huff and pointedly turns around.
“Sit down, moron.”
“Huh?”
“I said sit down.” Sasuke grits out, jerking open Naruto’s fridge and rustling through his cabinets for everything he needs. He sees Naruto hesitantly sit down out of the corner of his eye, sagging down into a chair at his small kitchen table.
Sasuke pours all his attention into what he’s doing so he doesn’t have to think about how Naruto already looks like he’s about to pass out on top of the hard wooden table.
_______
Naruto jerks awake when a bowl clinks down in front of him. It’s ramen, he notices once he’s done blinking blearily, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.
Sasuke sits down across from him, silent and still looking vaguely pissed off. Naruto doesn’t know if it’s something he’s done this time, but Sasuke always looks at least a little pissed off, so he hopes the anger isn’t there because of him.
There’s a sharp pang in his chest in the next moment, because if Sasuke is mad at him, he’ll leave if Naruto pushes too far.
Naruto had learned that the hard way. When this whole arrangement had still been new, Naruto had pushed and pushed because no matter how grateful he was that Sasuke had come back at all he had still wanted more. Sasuke had come back after a month and a half of being away and Naruto had asked him to stay, pressed on it and nearly begged until Sasuke eventually blew up in his face.
Sasuke had left after only three hours of being back in the village.
And he hadn’t come back until six months later.
Naruto had been terrified he wasn’t ever going to come back during those six long months, because even after everything Naruto had gone through to get him back Sasuke was already gone again —
“Are you going to just stare at it, or are you going to eat it, usuratonkachi?”
Naruto snaps out of his daze, eyes refocusing on the egg floating in his ramen, before his head tilts up to look at Sasuke. His chopsticks are still poised at his mouth, as if he had just taken a bite out of his food.
“Oh, yeah. Sorry.” Naruto has to restrain a wince when the first word cracks and the rest isn’t much louder than a whisper.
(He’s still tired, and his limbs feel too heavy but he tries to ignore it like he usually does).
He stuffs the food into his mouth to stop himself from saying anything else and nearly moans at the taste. Naruto loves ramen, everyone knows that, but this tastes infinitely better than the instant stuff he usually only has the time for.
Sasuke’s brows are pinched but he also looks amused, “Good, then?”
Naruto swallows what’s in his mouth and smiles, “You know it is, asshole.” Naruto shovels another bite into his mouth, suddenly realizing just how hungry he is.
“When did you even learn how to cook?” He asks, and Sasuke grimaces at the fact there’s still food in his mouth when he speaks.
“I did grow up by myself, you know.” Sasuke says, eating much slower than Naruto and managing to look condescending while doing it, a prim brow raised.
Naruto’s almost annoyed at how pretty he looks even while doing the simplest shit.
“I grew up by myself too! And I don’t know how to cook nearly anything. This is stupidly good.” Naruto grumbles, and startles when his chopsticks clack against the bottom of his bowl, his ramen already completely finished off.
“I’d hardly call it cooking. I just added a few extra things to the regular instant stuff,” Sasuke huffs and then mumbles after a moment, “Usuratonkachi.”
Sasuke takes another bite of his ramen and when Naruto looks closely there’s a light flush high up on his cheeks, painting his pale skin a faint pink. Naruto smiles but doesn’t mention it, because he’s learned some things over the years. Pointing out things that might embarrass Sasuke can be a toss up sometimes, because he’ll either get mad and blow up or he’ll splutter and go bright red and refuse to look at Naruto.
One outcome is obviously preferable to the other, but Naruto isn’t willing to chance it since Sasuke already seems like he’s in a weird mood.
Naruto must stare longer than he means to, enraptured by Sasuke’s silken hair framing his face and the color that still decorates his cheeks, “Something you want?” Sasuke drawls, that stupid deep voice of his still managing to send sparks down Naruto’s spine.
Naruto can feel heat rush to his own face but he forces out, “Did you make enough for seconds?”
Sasuke snorts, and he looks like he was already anticipating Naruto to ask for more. Naruto goes to pick up his bowl but Sasuke snatches it up first, talking over Naruto before he can even begin to complain.
“I’ll get you more. You can sit .” Sasuke glares at him until Naruto nods his agreement, too confused to conjure up an argument.
Naruto watches as Sasuke glides through the kitchen, moving through the small place easily as he fills Naruto’s bowl again. It’s strangely domestic, and Naruto’s heart twinges at the thought. He’s had daydreams just like this far more times than he’d ever be willing to admit. Sasuke and him, cooking and eating together, Sasuke easily occupying his space, just— being there.
Naruto blinks when his eyes burn, and he turns away because he absolutely is not going to get emotional over this. Sasuke is going to leave, he’s not going to stay, and Naruto knows it but apparently his heart won’t accept that fact—
Sasuke places the bowl back down in front of him and it makes Naruto realize he’s been staring at the surface of the table, willing the lump in his throat to go away.
Naruto picks up his chopsticks but he doesn’t start eating, and he suddenly feels a lot less hungry. God , he can’t keep doing this to himself. Sasuke does not feel that way towards him, Naruto knows that and yet—
Well, if he could just stop loving Uchiha Sasuke, then he wouldn’t have had to keep these feelings with him since he was twelve years old.
And that’s a long time to love someone, Naruto knows. It’s a part of him now, at this point; it’s a fact.
The grass is green, the sky is blue, and Uzumaki Naruto is in love with his best friend, Uchiha Sasuke.
Just like it's a fact that Sasuke will never stay, will never truly see Konoha as his home, will never love Naruto the way that he loves him.
That is not to say Naruto has given up, he’s never going to do that and he certainly will never give up on Sasuke , but there are some things he simply can’t make someone do. He made Sasuke come back, he made Sasuke realize that he’s his friend, that he cares about him, and that should be enough.
It is enough, most days. Naruto looks at Sasuke or thinks about him and is eternally grateful that he doesn’t have to chase him down anymore, doesn’t have to feel like something is fundamentally missing. Sasuke isn’t gone, not permanently, and Naruto knows by now that Sasuke will not betray the village, won’t betray him but—
But. It’s still not what he wants, not entirely. Naruto’s always wanted , has always had dreams that others thought unachievable so why should he expect anything different when it comes to the people he pines after?
“What’s wrong?”
Sasuke’s voice cuts through his thoughts, jarring Naruto so hard he almost hits his bowl off the table. He catches it and stops it from sloshing out everywhere, but he can still feel his face flush in embarrassment.
“Nothing.” Is his immediate response and he feels a strained grin stretch across his face, but when he looks up at Sasuke his eyes focus somewhere around his shoulder instead of meeting his glare.
“Naruto.” Sasuke’s voice is sharp, and Naruto can feel his dark eyes on him even if he refuses to meet them.
Naruto bites the inside of his cheek, clenches his hands on the table. He can’t tell Sasuke, because if this , these feelings he has for Sasuke get in the way of this tentative arrangement they have together, he’ll never forgive himself.
He’s tried so hard to get here, spent years chasing Sasuke, fighting with him and yelling at him and trying his damndest to get him to come back to Konoha, come back to him. And he can’t ruin it, can’t, not when he’s been keeping his feelings under wraps for so long, trying to push them away and bury them and keep Sasuke from ever having to know about them.
A moment of weakness isn’t worth enough to ruin this.
“Sasuke, there’s nothing wrong, I’m serious.”
Sasuke scowls, and Naruto can see it out of the corner of his eye, “Then look at me.”
Naruto swallows but does just that, looking up into the deep onyx and purple of Sasuke’s eyes.
But when he opens his mouth to speak the words catch in his throat, and all that escapes is a short puff of air. They’re both silent for a moment, before Sasuke huffs in annoyance and jerks out of his seat.
There’s a surge of pure, unbridled panic that surges through Naruto’s veins as he watches Sasuke walk away, and his heart ratchets up into his throat and he feels like he’s drowning. His hand is darting out before he can even think, catching Sasuke’s empty sleeve where an arm used to be. He clutches the sleeve anyway, and he’s sure if there actually was a limb there Naruto would be holding it hard enough to bruise and grind bone together.
“Don’t—don’t leave.” He chokes out, eyes staring up at Sasuke but his vision is blurry, fuzzy with what must be tears and the adrenaline makes blood rush through his ears. He’s probably overreacting, a tiny voice in the back of his head whispers, but he doesn’t care; he just doesn’t want Sasuke to leave.
He thinks he can hear Sasuke talking, and he tries to focus enough to hear it, but everything blurs together and he’s still clutching Sasuke’s sleeve. He thinks he might be hyperventilating, his lungs feel tight and his mouth dry, and he thinks his hands are shaking, trembling so hard he thinks he’s about to fall apart.
“Naruto!”
His head jerks at the sound but then everything tilts, and he can hear his name called again through what feels like water, washed out and garbled.
He’s tired, has been for the past week that he’s gone with nothing more than periodical one hour naps, and everything feels heavy and loud and too much —
And then everything goes black.
_______
Sasuke watches as Sakura checks over Naruto. She’s quiet as she does it, her brows pinched and she's frowning.
After Naruto had passed out in his arms, the only person he could think of to go to was Sakura. He trusts her, even if he would be dead set on never admitting it. He trusts her to take care of Naruto.
She had sighed and looked like she expected it when he had found her at the hospital, like this has happened before.
(Sasuke’s hand clenches at that thought, and he resolutely decides he’s eventually going to have a long talk with Naruto about this).
They’re still in Naruto’s apartment. Sasuke had placed Naruto in his small, worn bed before he had immediately gone after Sakura.
Sakura sighs and she turns back to him, properly looking at him for the first time since they’ve gotten here. She looks older now, Sasuke can tell, most definitely more mature than she was when they were children, still Genin. He doesn’t know if they’re even still friends anymore, doesn’t know if they ever truly were to begin with, but he—he trusts her with Naruto and his well being, and that’s enough for now.
“He’s exhausted.” Is what she starts with, looking for all intents and purposes like an exasperated older sister, “But he should be fine after some rest, if you can even get him to do that.” She chuckles, but it lacks any real humor.
She looks at him, and her eyes look steely and soft all at the same time, “He always does this, works himself until he passes out. Then he takes some soldier pills after a few hours of sleep and does it all over again.”
Sasuke’s teeth grind together, “And you just let him do that?”
Sakura’s eyes harden more than he’s ever seen them, going flinty and sharp, “ You’re not even here, so you hardly have any say. ”
Sasuke nearly flinches, the words feeling like a physical blow. He knows they’re true but they still make his chest tighten, but he refuses to fidget under her gaze.
His mind trails back to Naruto, unbidden.
“Don’t leave.”
His mouth goes dry and he has to clench his hands to keep them from shaking. He can still hear Naruto’s voice, how— scared he had sounded. Like he was terrified at the thought of Sasuke leaving. And Sakura’s words—Sasuke knew that Naruto didn’t exactly like the fact he was gone but—he didn’t—
She softens after only a moment, but not all of the way, “He won’t listen to us.” She says quietly, and she looks at Sasuke with an obvious question in her eyes. Or, more like an order if Sasuke’s being honest with himself.
Maybe he’ll listen to you.
Sasuke swallows, “I’m not staying long.” It sounds like a weak protest, and Sasuke curses himself for it. He’s getting soft. And it’s all Naruto’s fault, like most mushy, uncomfortable feelings are.
Sakura’s lips quirk, but it’s not a smile, not exactly, but it’s getting there.
“Of course, Sasuke-kun.” And she’s getting up, shooting one last look at Naruto before walking towards the door.
She turns back before she crosses the threshold, “It’s good to see you again. Try to find everyone else before you leave, they’d like to see you, too.”
And then she’s gone with another smile that’s bigger this time, more real. Sasuke listens as she walks through the apartment, opens the front door, and then fades away. He’s left alone with Naruto, who’s snoring in his sleep.
He’s never quiet, not even in slumber, and Sasuke snorts softly at the thought. Sasuke’s had enough of the idiot yelling at him to last a lifetime, he knows exactly how loud the dumbass can get.
He gets up, slowly, not wanting to take his eyes off of Naruto. He’s not worried, he’s not —he just doesn’t want to leave and come back to him trying to work when he should be resting. It’d be annoying if he passes out on Sasuke again, that’s all.
He does eventually get himself to leave, and he returns with significantly more paperwork than what he had left with.
(He also scours Naruto’s apartment for every soldier pill he can find and firmly crushes them, swearing that if he ever sees Naruto even look at one again he’ll kill him on the spot).
_______
Naruto wakes slowly, and he blearily blinks up at the ceiling. He’s in a bed, he notices first, instead of on the floor or at his desk in his office. That’s rare, that he actually finds somewhere to pass out rather than just collapsing on the spot or falling asleep in the middle of doing something.
Then he realizes he didn’t make it to a bed himself, because he did pass out, at his kitchen table, and Sasuke—
He shoots up in bed but when he turns to fumble out of it, he notices that Sasuke is right next to him.
Sasuke just stares at him for a few seconds, papers in his lap and a pen in his hand, and he’s sitting next to Naruto’s bed in a chair he looks like he dragged there from the kitchen table.
Naruto stares too, and briefly wonders if he’s dreaming, falling into a daydream where he wakes up with Sasuke in his room doing—his paperwork?
“Wha—”
“If you even try to get up I’ll break your leg.” Sasuke says, very calmly and monotonously, and Naruto almost believes him. He’s never been one to respond to threats like a normal person, though.
“Oi! You asshole—” Naruto protests, swinging a leg over the side of the bed to get closer to Sasuke.
Sasuke kicks him then, and Naruto’s so startled by it that he jerks his leg back up onto the bed and stares at Sasuke’s stupid, smirking, attractive face with his mouth hanging open.
“You’re gonna catch a fly, usuratonkachi.” Sasuke says, and he looks so smug that Naruto wants to—wants to either punch him or kiss the look off of his stupid face.
Naruto’s jaw snaps shut and he’s not pouting, he’s not , “You kicked me.”
Sasuke hums and turns back to reading and signing the papers in his lap, “I did warn you.”
Naruto scoffs, and leans over to try and get a glimpse of what Sasuke’s doing. He makes sure that his legs come nowhere near Sasuke, firmly tucked under the threadbare comforter that he’s had for years.
Sasuke tilts the papers away, not allowing Naruto to read anything that’s on them.
“ Teme! ” Naruto near shouts, “Those are papers from my office aren’t they? Why are you doing them?”
“ You’re in no condition to do them.” Sasuke says simply, glancing at Naruto for only a second before continuing his work. It annoys Naruto a little bit, being easily dismissed and ignored, always something that ticks him off quickly.
“I’m hardly even that tired.” Naruto scowls, and saying that makes him notice how late it is. He had passed out around midday but it’s dark outside right now, the moon high up in the sky and the room illuminated only by a lamp on Naruto’s nightstand and faint moonlight.
(Naruto’s still tired, exhausted , even if he’s probably already slept for hours, but he’s not just gonna admit to it).
Sasuke’s face scrunches up in the way it does right before he gets mad, but the yelling never comes. Instead, he continues to read and sign papers with a familiar sort of tension coiling through his whole body.
“Do you want me to stay?” Sasuke murmurs, and Naruto’s brain shuts down for a beat, going completely silent until all he can hear is his heartbeat. Then his thoughts come rushing back, loud and stumbling over each other, completely incoherent—
Naruto can’t stop the heave his chest gives at the words, all the air in his lungs leaving him in one fell swoop. He thinks he’s dreaming, again. Sasuke being in his dreams and offering to stay is more common than he’d ever willingly admit—
But Sasuke looks up again, and he’s clutching the pen he has in his hand so hard that it looks like it’s about to snap. His eyes are narrowed, the way they look when Sasuke’s trying to hide whatever he’s feeling.
Naruto swallows once, and then again, trying to get rid of the painful lump that’s swelling in his throat.
“Are—are you serious? Sasuke—” His voice comes out in a rasp, strained and on the verge of cracking.
“Do you want me to stay, Naruto?” Sasuke repeats, and he’s looking Naruto directly in the eyes. But he looks nervous, too, like he’s about to shake apart at the seams and everything is one misstep away from tumbling out.
Naruto knows the feeling, and although Sasuke is significantly better at hiding it, Naruto is perversely glad that he isn’t completely unaffected by whatever this is.
“Yes.” Naruto breathes, before he can overthink it, before he can even think at all about whatever double meaning this might have for Sasuke—
“Yes— yes . You should already know that— God how can you not—Sasuke—” Naruto’s clenching his hands in his sheets, pulling and twisting at the bedding so hard he’s afraid it might tear, but he doesn’t care about that at the moment.
“Are—are you—you’ll stay?” It’s no louder than a whisper, and he knows he’s looking at Sasuke with a sort of blatant desperation that should be embarrassing , but he doesn’t care. Not right now, not when he’s so close —
“I’ll stay, if you ask me to.” Sasuke whispers, and Naruto can’t help the strangled noise that leaves him.
“Stay. Stay— please .” He laughs wetly, “I’ll ask you to everyday if you want. Just—stay.”
Sasuke swallows, “Usuratonkachi.” He mumbles, and his eyes look— soft , almost. Their hard edges are smoothed out and he’s looking at Naruto with what he might call fondness on anyone else.
“Teme.” Naruto says back, and he doesn’t even try to fight the smile he can feel stretching his lips. He feels warm all over and a little fuzzy, and he’s still half convinced that this is just a dream and he’s going to wake up and Sasuke’s going to be gone already—
“Stop thinking so hard before you hurt yourself.” Sasuke grumbles, frowning but looking almost as wrecked as Naruto feels.
Naruto laughs at that, and he blinks at the burning he can feel in his eyes. He doesn’t want to cry, not in front of Sasuke and not over this because he’s scared if he makes a big deal over it then it’s just going to scare Sasuke off—
He looks at Sasuke’s hand, the pen he was holding earlier bent and laying on top of the papers in his lap. Naruto looks at it for only a moment before he’s reaching out, impulsively grabbing at Sasuke’s fingers. He curls his hand around Sasuke’s, and it’s warm and solid beneath his touch. It’s real, Sasuke’s here, and he’s not dreaming—
Sasuke’s fingers squeeze back and Naruto’s gaze snaps up to him and his eyes are glassy too, while Naruto can already feel wet tracks cascading down his cheeks. He swallows, and he wordlessly pulls Sasuke closer by his hand. For once he doesn’t want to fill the silence with words, his throat feeling too tight to make any noise.
Sasuke turns in his chair and he willingly leans closer until Naruto can press their foreheads together. And he stops, wanting to get closer but not knowing how. Sasuke looks at him, bright blue meeting mismatched black and purple. And then his eyes are closed and there’s a puff of breath between them and—
Sasuke’s lips are soft. Soft and warm and better than he could have ever imagined against his. Naruto leans closer, because that’s all he wants—to get closer , until they can mesh together and he can be sure that Sasuke is here and he can feel everything that Naruto is.
Naruto’s hand clenches in Sasuke’s, and even if Naruto can taste the salt of his own tears in their kiss he can taste Sasuke too. Like mint and tea, he thinks, and when his lips move, Sasuke sighs and presses back. It’s a quiet noise, but Naruto wants to hear more of them.
It feels natural, like they’ve kissed one hundred times instead of for the first time since they were children. This is decidedly much better than that first one, much softer and much warmer . When he can feel Sasuke’s teeth sink into his bottom lip he jolts before melting, making an involuntary noise in the back of his throat that Sasuke easily swallows.
Sasuke pulls away with one last swipe of tongue, but he doesn’t move far. His head is still leaned against Naruto’s as he gasps for air, and Naruto has to stop himself from chasing his lips. He lets himself breathe too, pressing against Sasuke and cataloguing every point where they’re connected.
Naruto’s halfway out of bed, and Sasuke is leaning so far forward out of his chair that he looks centimeters away from falling out. The papers that were in his lap are scattered across the floor, but Naruto has more important things to worry about.
Like how he wants to kiss Sasuke for the next eternity or so and never have to think about work again.
Naruto leans back in for an experimental peck, just to feel Sasuke’s lips against his again. It’s good , it’s ridiculously good and he’s going to get what he can before Sasuke decides he regrets this. He doesn’t want him to, and of course he hopes he doesn’t but—
“You’re thinking again.” Sasuke whispers, breath fanning over his face. He still sounds a little breathless, and Naruto is strangely proud of the fact that Sasuke’s affected just as much as he is.
“I’ve been doing a lot of that recently.”
“Really?” Sasuke drawls mockingly, and Naruto huffs irritably right in the asshole’s face.
“Yeah, really , you bastard.” Naruto snorts, and he’s still holding Sasuke’s hand and their heads are still pressed together, so Sasuke can’t have no feelings towards him but—
He’s still—nervous. Nervous that Sasuke’s going to regret this, while Naruto wants him in every capacity possible but he doesn’t want to be overwhelming, he doesn't want to push so hard that Sasuke can’t handle it.
And he has thought about this, about how he feels about Sasuke. And he loves him. It probably took far too long to figure that out, but he loves him. Has loved him for so long that he almost doesn’t remember what it feels like not loving him.
There’s always been something simmering in him, in the back of his head, in the form of an ache in his heart. And, he’s realized that might just be what love must feel like.
Sasuke knows him, and Naruto knows him, too. Every part of them undeniably connected and intertwined. And loving Sasuke is somehow both the easiest and hardest thing he’s ever done and he doesn’t— can’t have whatever—whatever this is if Sasuke doesn’t feel the same.
“I—” Naruto starts, and then stops, and then starts again, “Why—what made you stay?”
Sasuke leans back, just enough so that he can look at Naruto properly. Their fingers are still laced together.
Sasuke doesn’t answer for one long moment, but eventually he says—
“You.”
Naruto makes a noise that sounds like a balloon deflating, and Sasuke makes a face that’s partly amused and partly that of a man who looks like they’re being sent to the gallows.
“But—but last time you—”
“Naruto, that was—a while ago.” Sasuke mutters and looks away, and his fingers twitch nervously in Naruto’s grip, “I’ve changed my mind, a bit. I want to—stay. For you.”
Sasuke won’t look at him but his face is flushed that pretty pink color and Naruto’s heart is beating out of his chest—
“I made you change your mind?” He asks, and he can’t say he’s not at least a little confused. He hasn’t been doing anything particularly different, recently. Except for maybe not pressuring Sasuke so much about staying, but it’s been almost two years since that first disaster—
Sasuke snorts, “Well, it was you, mostly. But I also talked to Sakura.”
“You talked to Sakura-chan?” Naruto blurts, his mind quickly trying to conjure up when Sasuke had the time to do that —
“I got her to check up on you after you collapsed.” Sasuke says, as if he could already tell what he was thinking, “Which isn’t going to happen again while I’m here.” Sasuke’s gaze is steely, all embarrassment from earlier momentarily wiped from his expression.
“But—”
“We’re not arguing over this. Besides, I’d win anyway.” Sasuke smirks, but Naruto can tell that this is one of the few arguments that he’s not going to win no matter how stubborn he can get. Sasuke can match that stubbornness easily, most days.
“And, Sakura told me you’re not taking care of yourself, because you’re an idiot. ” Sasuke continues, “So, I’m staying to make sure you don’t work yourself to death, dumbass.”
Naruto laughs, breathy and quiet, “That’s the only reason, Sasuke?”
Sasuke’s lips thin, in an obvious way that means he’s trying to hide a smile, “Since I’m the only one who can beat some sense into you, then yeah.”
“You ass —” Naruto laughs, swatting playfully at Sasuke’s shoulder, “And you’ve hardly beat anything me. More like— kissed some sense into me.”
Sasuke snorts, “You’re such an idiot.”
“But I’m your idiot.” Naruto says, giggling when Sasuke gives him an unimpressed glare.
Naruto smiles and pulls Sasuke forward until he’s shuffling into bed next to him.
“Your bed’s too small.” He grumbles, but he’s still fitting in next to Naruto, their hands never leaving each other’s. Naruto’s half surprised that Sasuke is letting him touch him so much but he’s unwilling to bring attention to it lest Sasuke try to pull away.
“So.” Naruto starts, and his voice is quieter than it usually is. Sasuke’s so— close , tucked in right next to him so they can both properly fit onto the mattress. He can count every eyelash, can feel Sasuke’s breath, and Sasuke’s still not withdrawing and this must be a dream —
“You’re really staying?” Naruto almost doesn’t want to mention it, doesn’t want to give Sasuke time to regret it, time to change his mind, to think over his decision—
But he also wants to know that Sasuke wants to stay, wants to know that this is real and that Sasuke means it.
Sasuke kisses him again, leaning in to press his lips to the corner of Naruto’s mouth. It’s soft and gentle and it nearly makes Naruto’s eyes sting even if it makes him feel ridiculous for it—
“Idiot.” He murmurs, and Naruto can feel his lips move against his, “I’m staying, so you’re not getting rid of me now.”
Naruto chuckles, breathless and feeling a little lightheaded, “Like I’d want to get rid of you after trying so hard to get you back.”
Sasuke hums and kisses him again, and Naruto can already feel himself getting used to this. If he’s going to be able to freely do this everyday he doesn’t know if he’s ever going to be able to stop —
Sasuke’s tongue prods at the seam of his lips and Naruto’s mouth parts, and Sasuke’s tongue dips in. Naruto’s free hand finds the back of Sasuke’s head and he pulls him closer, their tongue’s tangling. It’s wet and warm, and Naruto’s fingers twist in silky strands and he can hear himself moan when Sasuke presses into him harder.
Naruto twists until Sasuke falls back, landing softly on top of the pillows at the headboard. Naruto’s leaning over him, their mouths and hands still connected. It feels so natural, easy, to kiss and touch Sasuke like this.
They part, and Naruto dives for Sasuke’s throat, mouths and nips at the skin, drawing quiet, breathy noises from Sasuke that immediately go to Naruto’s crotch.
He squeezes Sasuke’s hand once before pulling back, panting. Sasuke makes a high noise at the loss, and his face goes completely red once he realizes what he just did.
“Shut up.” Sasuke mumbles before Naruto can even say anything, his whole face glowing with a bright blush.
Naruto laughs lightly, and Sasuke looks mortified and like he’s trying to temper a smile at the same time. Naruto leans down briefly for a quick peck, just because he can, and because Sasuke looks cute like this. Sasuke would probably tear him in half if he ever said it out loud, but it’s undeniably true no matter what he argues.
But Naruto does eventually pull away, because talking is something that’s very important, especially right now, no matter how much Naruto just wants to get to the good bit. The good bit may or may not include Naruto’s hand eventually ending up down Sasuke’s pants but that’s neither here nor there.
“Sasuke, wait.” Naruto says, breathless, when Sasuke tries to pull him back down.
Sasuke stares up at him, his eyes conveying you better have a good reason for this , and Naruto can’t stop the amused huff that leaves him at Sasuke’s impatience. Naruto’s not exactly any less impatient, he’s just always never known when to shut up, apparently.
“Sasuke, I just want to know, uh, what this is to you.” Naruto bites his bottom lip nervously, “Because, ah, I don’t exactly see this as a one time thing.” His voice trails off and he laughs anxiously, and Sasuke’s just looking up at him with those sharp eyes of his and it’s just making him more anxious.
“You better not be thinking of making this a casual thing.” Sasuke says severely, and Naruto breaks out into half-nervous, half-relieved giggles.
“I wasn’t.” Naruto smiles, “You mean too much to me for that.”
Sasuke’s eyes widen at the words, and his lips part in surprise. It’s endearing, and a little sad, almost, that he always looks so shell shocked every time Naruto admits to thinking of him as his friend, as important.
I love you , is on the tip of his tongue, and he leans down to capture Sasuke’s lips to smother the confession. He doesn’t need to tell Sasuke yet, not when this is so new, but he still tries to put those words into every touch he gives him.
Naruto’s bandaged hand slides up Sasuke’s shirt, and although he can’t feel the skin properly, he can still feel the warmth of it. His hand glides over his hips, his waist, up until it can rest on Sasuke’s sternum. It’s all soft and almost silky, and Naruto wants to touch everywhere.
Sasuke shifts, and then their hips are slotted together and Naruto loses any higher brain functioning for a moment—
He gasps into Sasuke’s mouth and Sasuke makes a noise too, and then they’re rocking against each other. There’s still several layers between them but it’s still so good , Naruto is sure that it’s not supposed to feel this good but it does —
Sasuke pulls away this time, “Take this off.” He gasps, hand leaving Naruto’s so he can tug at Naruto’s shirt.
Naruto obeys with no resistance, pulling back only far enough so that he can get his top over his head before he’s falling right back down to Sasuke. He helps Sasuke out of his shirt too, tossing it onto the chair next to the bed so Sasuke can’t complain at him later about his clothes ending up on the floor.
Naruto kisses down Sasuke’s chest, the skin warm and smooth under his lips, pale and only marred by a few stray scars. Naruto traces the thin, pink lines with his tongue and he can feel Sasuke’s fingers tangling in his hair, can hear the breaths that escape him in short puffs.
Naruto’s teeth skim a nipple and Sasuke arches up off the bed, making the loudest noise Naruto’s heard him make all night—
“Ah— Naruto .” Sasuke’s hand tightens in his hair and Naruto does it again, dragging out a similar, drawn out noise when his tongue circles the bud.
Naruto’s other hand reaches up to the flick and pinch at the other and Sasuke makes these pretty, punched out little noises as he arches up into Naruto's mouth and hand. Naruto’s free hand works at Sasuke’s pants, and Sasuke lifts his hips up to help the process, allowing Naruto to tug down his underwear and pants together.
Naruto leans up to get a proper look, feeling breathless just from having Sasuke naked and on display beneath him, pale skin flushed pink and perfect .
Sasuke’s mouth is hanging open as he breathes harshly, and even blushing and sweaty he still looks indignant when he grumbles, “You’re overdressed, usuratonkachi.”
Naruto laughs airily, “Impatient, teme?” But he’s wiggling gracelessly out of his pants, and finally leaving both of them naked.
Naruto pauses, just for a moment, to let everything sink in. This is really happening, Sasuke under him and staying , looking like porcelain and like everything Naruto’s ever dreamed of—
Sasuke tugs him down when he stares for too long, immediately biting and licking into his mouth. Naruto moans into the kiss, his unbandaged hand reaching down and finding Sasuke’s cock. Sasuke moans and thrusts up into the touch, teeth sinking into Naruto’s bottom lip.
Naruto gasps when Sasuke tugs on his lip before he pulls away, looking far too satisfied with himself. Naruto pumps him harder on the next stroke up, and the smugness melts off of his face.
“Good?” Naruto murmurs into his shoulder, nipping at the skin there. Sasuke’s skin is so fair that it’s already reddening, and Naruto wonders how dark he can mark him.
Naruto swipes his thumb over Sasuke’s leaking head when he goes to speak, just to hear his voice hitch when he can’t get the words out. Sasuke shoots him a glare that holds no heat to it, and Naruto hides a smile by burying his face into Sasuke’s throat.
Sasuke only has to turn his head slightly to catch Naruto’s ear lobe between his teeth and tug, and Naruto’s mouth opens on a breathy sound. He can feel Sasuke’s smirk against his jaw, can feel Sasuke’s lips, soft and warm before the sensation is replaced by teeth.
Sasuke sucks a bruise right on his jawline and it feels too good for Naruto to complain about it being in such a visible place.
“My one and only.” Sasuke whispers, breath fanning against Naruto’s ear and his breath punches right out of his chest and he feels like all the air has been sucked out of his lungs.
Before Naruto can get any words out Sasuke’s hand reaches down to wrap his fingers around his dick. Naruto gasps and thrusts forward without thinking—
“Ah, Sasuke— hah— ” Naruto shifts upward until they’re pressed together, and when he rocks forward against Sasuke they both moan at the same time.
Naruto licks and mouths at Sasuke’s jaw, and he tilts his head so Naruto has more access to his throat. He bites the side of Sasuke’s neck, worrying the skin between his teeth until it’s red and bruised, licking over the mark to abait the sting.
“You look so beautiful.” Is out of his mouth before he can stop it, and Sasuke’s breath hitches, his hips stuttering. Naruto’s hands run over any and every inch of skin that he can reach, reverently tracing every line of Sasuke’s body.
He can hear himself babbling into Sasuke’s skin, praises and sweet words and he would truly do anything for Sasuke right now, when he’s so gorgeous and pliant and warm —
Sasuke’s legs lock over his hips, pulling him closer and offering more leverage for Sasuke to buck up into him. Sasuke throws his head back when Naruto takes his nipple into his mouth again, licking and sucking and biting as he rocks down onto Sasuke harder.
Sasuke gets progressively louder, not louder than he typically gets but perfectly loud enough for Naruto to hear when they’re interlocked like this. He treasures every little noise, every sound simply urging him on.
“Naruto—” Sasuke sighs, breathy and high, and his fingers tangle and pull at Naruto’s hair, “ Naruto —”
Sasuke’s orgasm seems to surprise them both, Sasuke’s eyes widening as he arches up and cries out, painting his and Naruto’s chest and stomach in ropes of white come. Naruto moves with him through it, Sasuke’s legs twitching around him and his breath coming out in stuttering and hitching gasps. He eventually goes slack under Naruto, panting and boneless.
Naruto only only has to rut against him for a few more moments before he’s moaning, “Hah— Sasuke .” When he comes he bites into the meat of Sasuke’s shoulder, vaguely registering the high pitched moan Sasuke makes above him.
Naruto slumps next to Sasuke, moving barely to the side so he doesn’t land directly on top of him. It’s silent for a few moments, the sound of their breathing the only thing filling the air.
Naruto watches as Sasuke catches his breath, eyes hooded and sweat cooling on his skin. He looks gorgeous like this, his hair mussed and his face relaxed and Naruto buries his cheek into the pillow under him. He feel a little ridiculous getting shy over this , considering what they just did but—
This somehow feels incredibly intimate and when Sasuke turns towards him his heart stutters in his chest, his face immediately becoming engulfed in flames.
“Something wrong?” Sasuke says, and he sounds quiet and like he’s trying to sound indifferent but there’s a hint of insecurity peaking through and Naruto is having none of that—
“No. Nothing’s wrong.” Naruto says, leaning up on an elbow so he can look at Sasuke properly, “Nothing at all.” He breathes, and in this moment it’s true, and looking at Sasuke feels better than it ever has, now.
Naruto catches sight of the bite he left, Naruto’s teeth marks sunk into Sasuke’s skin. He reaches up without thinking, tracing the indents. He looks at Sasuke as he does it, and he feels a flare of possessiveness. He likes the sight of the marks he left on him, and he’s overcome with the sudden urge to leave more.
“My one and only.” He whispers, repeating the words Sasuke had told him.
Sasuke’s eyes widen, as if he had wanted Naruto to forget he ever even said it. Sasuke turns away, looking up at the ceiling instead of at him.
(Naruto still remembers when he had said it in that valley, when they were fighting, when they had nearly killed each other. He doesn’t know how he could ever forget).
“Did you mean it?” Naruto presses, staring so intensely at the side of Sasuke’s face that he must feel it.
(He also can’t help but notice the way moonlight dances across his features, lighting up his skin in a fair blue glow. Sasuke really is beautiful, and while Naruto’s always known that it’s hitting especially hard now).
Sasuke visibly swallows, his Adam’s apple bobbing with the action. Sasuke hesitates, mouth opening to allow words that won’t come. In a rare show of patience, Naruto waits, fingers tracing patterns on Sasuke’s chest in what he hopes is a comforting gesture.
“I—I did. I do.” Sasuke breathes in slowly before releasing the breath, “You’ve always been—special. Different, than anyone else.”
Sasuke chews his lip, and even though Naruto wants to explode with nerves and the need to say something, he doesn’t interrupt.
“I watched you, all the time, since we were kids. And—you made me remember what it feels like to—to want to be close to someone.”
Sasuke turns to him for the first time since he started speaking, and even though Naruto isn’t even standing he still feels like he’s been knocked off his feet by the look in Sasuke’s eyes.
“You’re the person closest to me. And I hurt you—so much.” Sasuke’s breath shudders, “I probably don’t deserve it, but I want to stay with you. I want to stay for you.”
Naruto’s so close to crying that he can feel the water well up in his eyes, the sting of it in his throat—
“Konoha isn’t my home. You are.”
Naruto wouldn’t be able to stop the tears no matter how hard he tried, and he can feel them trickle down his cheeks and fall onto the pillow below them. Sasuke’s eyes are glassy, and a stray tear slips out, too.
Naruto kisses him in the next moment, slow and soft and with every little thing he’s feeling behind it. He feels overwhelmed in the best way possible, filled to the brim until he’s almost bursting with affection and fondness and love for Sasuke. He loves him so much—
“I love you.” He breathes against Sasuke’s lips, “I love you. I’ve loved you for so long, and I thought I was going to say it to you so many times when we were fighting but the words never came out.”
He laughs, and it’s strained and choked, “I love you, Sasuke.”
Sasuke is looking up at him with wide eyed wonderment, glossy lips opened in unbidden surprise.
“You—you don’t have to say it back. But—I just—wanted to tell you.”
Sasuke breathes out harshly and it sounds a little like a laugh, and he’s smiling, just a little. Sasuke smiling is always a breathtaking sight, no matter how big or small it is.
“Idiot.” Sasuke murmurs, his hand cupping the back of his head, “I—I love you, too. And I’ve known it for a long time. I—I tried to get rid of it or just—forget about it. Ignore it.”
He huffs, “But you’re pretty hard to forget or ignore.”
Naruto laughs, and it sounds light and bright in the space around them, and he’s just so—so relieved. Everything they’ve been through together—always together—has accumulated to this, this moment right here where Sasuke’s eyes are soft and his lips are twitching into something like a smile.
“Maybe we should have just told each other.” He says, his hand reaching up to cup Sasuke’s cheek, twirling a strand of his inky black hair around his finger.
“Maybe.” Sasuke says back, his own fingers playing with the blonde curls at the back of Naruto’s head, “But we got there, eventually.”
Naruto grins, “Took a lot of me beating you into the ground, though.”
Sasuke tugs at his hair, snorting when Naruto squawks and tries to duck away, “Idiot.”
“Asshole.”
They lay in silence for a while longer, sweat having long cooled and Naruto starts to feel a little sticky in a few places, and he can tell Sasuke’s feeling it too.
“We should probably get cleaned up, huh?”
Sasuke makes a humming noise, “Definitely.”
Naruto gets up with a series of exaggerated groans, acting like having to move is the greatest burden he’s ever had to take on. Sasuke looks at him with an unbridled sort of fondness that makes his heart flutter in his chest.
It’s when they’re making their way to the bathroom that Naruto speaks up again, “Can’t believe I just confessed my love to you covered in your come.”
Sasuke slaps him on the back of the head and he laughs so loudly he wonders if the neighbors can hear it, feeling something heavy loosen and fall away in his chest.
He can definitely get used to this.