Chapter Text
The walk to the study room is uneventful at first. Jeff and Annie meet in the parking lot, a habit they fell into further back than either of them could remember. It gives them a chance to chat without interruption by the rest of the Greendale Seven. They love their little misfit family, but their scrutiny was suffocating at times, and they valued the little time they set aside for just the two of them.
“So they just ditched you?” Jeff asks. On most days Annie carpools with her roommates, but today she drove to campus alone in her sad excuse for a car.
Annie shrugs. “I don’t think they did it on purpose,” she explains, as if Troy and Abed’s behavior was comprehensible. “You know how they are. Half the time they’re in their own little world. This morning they left the apartment wearing trench coats, fedoras, and sunglasses. I think they just forgot about me.”
Jeff scowls as he sips his coffee. It’s too early for Greendale insanity. “Crap. This better not be another paintball thing.” They swore they were done with paintball last year, but promises like that were begging to be broken.
“I wouldn’t worry about it. I think they’re doing Spy vs. Spy.”
Jeff is unconvinced. Only half of Troy and Abed’s games stayed self-contained. The rest had a habit of spreading across campus like a blanket fort. As if on cue, Jeff spies Troy standing by the bushes next to one of the campus buildings. His fedora is dipped low over his G-man sunglasses, obscuring his face. The coat he’s wearing is far too large for him, but it’s obviously Troy.
“The eagle is in flight,” Troy whispers into his collar, loud enough for everyone around him to hear clearly. Troy has many gifts, but subtlety is not one of them.
Jeff is unimpressed. “I think they’re spying on us. Poorly,” he remarks wryly.
“Hey Troy,” Annie says brightly, giving him a cheery wave. “What are you doing?”
Troy drops his walkie-talkie. He recovers it, drops it again, recovers it again, and whispers into it even louder in a panicked voice. “I’ve been made. I’m going to ground. Radio silence.” He dives behind the bush, which completely fails to conceal him.
“Idiot. We can still see you!” Jeff shouts. Troy crawls behind another bush. It’s smaller than the first bush and hides him just as poorly. “How have you managed to live with those two for so long without killing them?”
Annie giggles at her roommate’s slapstick antics. Troy manages to hide the top half of his body behind the bush, but his backside is still in plain view. “They’re not that bad. Whenever they start to bug me, I just turn on some cartoons and that usually keeps them busy for a couple of hours,” she explains.
Jeff grins. “Wow. You’re going to be great mom,” he teases.
Annie rolls her eyes. She has no intention of letting her children be raised by television. She’s seen how that turns out.
The pair walk in comfortable silence the rest of the way to the study room. They have known each other well enough and long enough to simply enjoy each other’s presence. There’s something else between them too, something intimate and beautiful, charged and magnetic, but it’s complicated and it scares them both, so it remains mostly remains unsaid.
They encounter Abed outside the library. He is as conspicuous as Troy, but seems less concerned about it. He leans against the corner of the building, pretending to smoke a cigarette. His costume is identical to Troy’s, but it fits him better. His coat billows in the wind, like a lanky brown Colombo.
“The eagle is approaching the nest,” Abed murmurs into his walkie-talkie. “I repeat. The eagle is approaching the nest.”
“You know, the whole point of being a secret agent is to avoid drawing attention to yourself,” Jeff grumbles. He knows it’s futile. Abed is in character and is therefore immune to criticism.
Abed just stares at Jeff. The duh-doy is implied.
Annie smacks Jeff’s arm. “Just let them have their fun,” she scolds. She knows that leaning into their weirdness is the safest way to navigate it. Jeff knows this too, but he still resists out of principle.
They almost make it into the building before they notice the third trench coat. Dean Craig Pelton slinks past Jeff and Annie like a pink panther, singing what can only be a deeply disturbing rendition of the James Bond theme song. He doesn’t appear to be wearing pants.
“Dean, de-de-de dean, dean dean dean, dean de-de-de dean, dean dean dean. Dean, de-de-de dean, dean dean dean, dean de-de-de dean, dean dean dean…” the Dean sings to no one in particular, but probably to Jeff if he’s being honest.
Jeff sighs. “Please tell me he’s wearing something under that coat.”
Annie doesn’t reply.
Get me some rope
Tie me to dream
Give me the hope
to run out of steam
Somebody said
it could be here
We could be roped up, tied up, dead in a year
I can't count the reasons I should stay
One by one they all just fade away