Chapter Text
Chapter One:
Harry sat down at his desk with a heavy sigh. The air was thick with humidity and the temperature was in the thirties making for an unpleasant atmosphere. It suited his depressed mood. He’s been having nightmares every night since, well, since the end of the Triwizard Tournament really. Every night it's the same: “Kill the spare.” A bright green light. A thud. And lifeless eyes staring out from the young handsome face of Cedric Diggory.
He sent dozens of letters to Sirius asking for advice, for help or just anything to get his mind off what had happened. However, all he received back were empty platitudes.
Hey Pup,
Keep your chin up. I can’t tell you anything, Dumbledore’s orders. Stay safe and behave for your relatives. As for your nightmares, well just try not to think about it.
Lots of love,
Snuffles.
It wasn’t exactly helpful nor did it help at all. Like seriously? ‘Try not to think about it’ ? Nightmares don’t go away just because you don’t think about the traumatic experiences that have caused them. Harry would know, he’s had several nightmares over the years about his relative’s ‘loving ’ care, about killing Quirrelmort, about almost being eaten by the basilisk, about dementors, about his parents deaths and now this. Nightmares are nothing new but that doesn’t stop them from being awful nor does it mean that he enjoys the sleepless nights.
Harry was just disappointed. He ripped up the first letter that told him to behave for his relatives and it was only the likelihood of him being called childish that stopped him from sending back the pieces with his next letter. He was sick and tired of being treated like a child. He was the one who had faced Voldemort year after year and yet the so called adults in his life felt that he was too young to know anything about the dark tosser.
But the last straw was the fact that Ron and Hermione. His two best friends were clearly in the know about something! Their letters were almost identical and they were clearly staying at the same place.
Dear Harry,
Try to be patient. Sorry that I can't tell you anything but Headmaster Dumbledore says that it would be unsafe. Have you done your homework yet? You really shouldn't leave it until the last minute you know.
Lots of love,
Hermione.
Hey Harry,
Mate it's so boring here and the twins are driving mum up the wall as usual. No I can't tell you anything, Dumbledore doesn't think it would be a good idea.
Has Hermione nagged you about homework as well? She needs to chill!
Ron.
And that was it. Those were the only letters he had received from his friends and its now been a month. All because Dumbledore said so. Dumbledore. The same bloody man that claims that he has to return to Durskiban every summer. The same man that didn't know that his friend was actually a death eater in disguise. Well now that he was thinking about it there are a lot of problems with him.
Harry grabbed a random notebook (discarded by dudley like everything else in this junk room) and found a pen that worked okay.
Dumbledore
Harry wrote in thick letters and underlined at the top of a page. Then with barely a thought he hand was moving across the page listing all his suspicions and issues he had ever had with the man.
Pre-Hogwarts
- Placed me with the Dursley.
- Never checked on me.
- My letter was addressed to my cupboard--who the hell addresses these things and shouldn't that have been a huge red flag?!
- Sent Hagrid to reintroduce me to magic-no offence to Hagrid but he probably wasn't the best escort.
- Had the key to my vault - does this mean that Dursleys are being paid?
- Hagrid on Dumbles orders would not let me buy extra things such as books or more clothes.
First year
- Starts the opening feast off with a warning not to go to the third floor corridor on pain of death. God, seriously does this man know anything about children? I know for sure that the twins had discovered the cerebros within the first week!
- There were no words to keep children or really anyone away. And seeing that an age line does work why didn't Dumbles use one?
- He had my father's cloak. A cloak that turns people invisible. A cloak that would have helped keep at least my mother and I safe when we were attacked by the dark tosser.
- He returned the cloak as a Christmas present. He returned my property in the guise of a gift. Rude. Why didn't he just give it to me when I first arrived? And why anonymously?
- The not so hidden dangerously ensnaring mirror of desires that was left in an unlocked classroom. Need I say more?
- Then there was the whole dragon fiasco. I mean if Hagrid thinks that Dumbles is such a 'great man' why didn't he just tell him about the dragon and let the adults sort it out, not three eleven year olds.
- Oh and since when is having four first years out of bed after curfew worth them losing 50 house points each and then sent to detention which was held After curfew to the FORBIDDEN forest?! Like seriously? It's as if the teachers were trying to get us killed. It's not as if the Twins have done worse or anything and got not even a third of a punishment that we did.
- How did Dumbles not know that Voldie was hitchhiking on the back of one of his teachers' heads!
- Let's talk about about the so called protections for the Philosopher's Stone. Firstly three 11 year olds figured out what they were hiding on the third floor. Secondly, it was stupidly easy to get through. I repeat three ELEVEN YEAR Olds got through their so called protections. In fact the stone probably would have been fine if we hadn't gone after Quirrelmort to protect the stone from that cursed mirror you had to want it but want to use it. I DID NOT WANT THE STONE! Yet it was in my pocket. So yeah not great.
- Oh and of course the best thing to do after a child has just burnt someone to death in self defence is to reward them for it.
- He ignored my complaints about the Dursley and said I had to return.
Harry stared at the pages filled with his pre-Hogwarts and first year in disbelief. Oh wait he forgot the troll.
- Troll loose in school. Probably set free from the protections by Quirrelmort. Dumbles and teachers sent students back to their common rooms while a dangerous beast was on the loose. Two of those houses were in the dungeons. Health and safety does exist in the Wix world… Right?
He almost didn't want to write down the rest of his years at school, he knew they got worse but… It was cathartic to get it all out on paper. So ignoring his grumbling stomach (he wouldn't be getting another can of soup through the cat flap of his door for several more hours yet) he put his pen back to paper. Though this time he focused less on what Dumbles did (or didn't do) and more on what happened all together.
Second Year
- Dobby. The crazy House elf that was desperate to save me that he endangered my life regularly that year. Stole my mail, dropped a pudding on Vernon's guest's head, got me a warning of underage magic use and ultimately bars on my window and locks on my door. Oh and the cat flat they feed me twice the day through. I was let out once a day to use the loo and that's it. Poor Hedwig almost starved to death.
And so Harry wrote and filled that entire notebook. It was horrific looking back at his past four years in the Wixen world. He had almost died every year. Every. Single. Year. and where were the adults? (minus Snape in third year, he may hate the potion professor but you’ve got to respect a guy for standing between you and a fully transformed werewolf.)
“This is insane.” He stared down at the notebook and then looked at Hedwig who at the sound of his voice paused in grooming her feathers. “Hedwig, I-I’m not safe at Hogwarts.” His brow creased as he thought hard. “There are other schools, like Beauxbatons and Durmstrang but maybe those are too close to Britain…”
Suddenly Hedwig fluttered over to his money pouch that was sat on his bed half hidden by his pillow.
“My money?” Harry asked her.
She barked and nudged out a coin and barked again.
“Oh. Oh!” It suddenly hit Harry. “You think Gringotts could help me?”
Hedwig barked and bobbed her head in agreement.
“But..” Harry bit his lip as he thought. “If we leave here it’ll be our only chance, there will be no coming back. I can’t do magic so I can’t shrink and take my trunk…” He trailed off into a mumble as his mind rapidly flipped through what he needed and how he would get away from the house. Things weren’t as bad as second year, but he was still confined to his room and let out only a handful of times a day to use the loo. The threat of his murderous godfather was not as effective as it was last summer. Ah Sirius…
“Am I really thinking about doing this? About running away? Leaving everyone. Sirius, Ron, Hermione and the rest of the Weasleys” Harry pondered before squaring his shoulders as he caught sight of the pathetic letters that those so called friends and loved ones had sent him. “Yes, yes I am.”
With the decision made Harry packed his merger belongings and most important items such as his cloak, his wand, and his photo album filled with pictures of his parents. He decided to only pack one set of clothes and one plain robe. To be honest he didn’t need much and as he had a vault full of gold at his disposal he could replace everything else. Speaking of gold he made sure to have his money pouch and key securely in the satchel that he also found among the discarded toys in the room. Dudley had complained that it was too girly to take to Smeltings, it was a slightly pinkish brown. Harry had no such problem with it and the bag was big enough to carry everything that he needed/wanted to take with him.
“You should fly ahead, girl.” Harry pushed open his window to let out his precious owl. “I’m not sure where I’ll be going exactly and I don’t want you stuck in your cage.”
Hedwig affectionately nipped at his ear, and groomed his hair for a minute before flying out the window and to her own freedom. Now it was Harry’s turn.