1 - 20 of 2,749 Works in Harry Potter is a Little Shit
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Harry Peverell and The Brooding Wanker by Melancholic_Bee
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
16 Feb 2026
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Summary
“I don’t know how anyone fell for his bullshit,” Harry said, looking at the ceiling. “I mean, sure, he was quite handsome and charming and stuff, but what’s the point if he was a brooding wanker?”
“Language, Harry.” Remus scolded, but his smile showed otherwise.
“No, no, listen, it’s so bloody funny when we were at the Chamber of Secrets he kept monologuing as if he was bloody Macbeth or some shite, and in Dumbledore’s memories he has this perpetual smirk that looks so much like Malfoy’s if I could just go back in time I would make sure he knows he is put into his place.”
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I’ll follow you to the end of time (for I have seen it all) by Mad_Pie_Muddy
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
16 Feb 2026
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While the world was celebrationg the beginning of new times, Harry Potter was rotting away in Askaban, simply because his only, single purpose was complete. He saved them, sacrificed himself for them, he died for them. And now they didn’t need him anymore, now he was a puzzle they couldn’t solve, an extra piece, a problem.
[...]
So, when Harry Potter died in Askaban, in the dark, cold corner of his cell, abandoned and forgotten, and Death granted him a chance to go back in time and rewrite history as he sees it fit as the Master of Death. How could he refuse?
or
Harry goes back in time and decides to help Tom rise to power just so he can piss of Dumbledore
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Journeys of the Immortal Master of Death by CaffeinePatchesKillRaves
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, 人渣反派自救系统 - 墨香铜臭 | The Scum Villain's Self-Saving System - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù, 天官赐福 - 墨香铜臭 | Tiān Guān Cì Fú - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù, 魔道祖师 - 墨香铜臭 | Módào Zǔshī - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù
16 Feb 2026
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He stood one step away from the last vestige of his people. Every thing else swallowed by the sands of time and gravel of strife, and washed away by the rivers of marching civilizations. He has lived so long, alone and unaging, he watched his people, the wixen, be snuffed out by their own idiocy, he watched those that did the snuffing decay and revitalize into something new over and over and over again. His past bitterness swallowed in the distant reaches of the past. So he stood before the last landmark of his people, hidden deep underground, and away from the public eyes of the humans he saw evolved from their infancy. The Veil of Death taunts him with the voices of the dead, his lost loved ones, the ones he had almost bound to himself to keep them so selfishly with him.
Harry James Potter, Boy-Who-Lived, Undesirable No. 1, Kingslayer, Man-Who-Conquered, Savior, Sacrifice, the Undying, the Scourge, Expirament 00, Master of Death, took a step. -
Purity's Price by EnderDarrowMythos316
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Inspired by Fate's Favourite by The Fictionist
15 Feb 2026
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Harry Evans has always been Tom Riddle’s right hand.
His equal. His secret.
Until one enchanted clearing strips away every last pretense.
Alternatively: Fuck or die, best friends to lovers trope with sarcasm, smut, and ensuing fluff. -
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Harry discovers that it is much easier to make Slytherins nice with love than with aggression. What was the saying again? You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.
What starts with a few random compliments and smiles quickly leads to hugs, lingering touches, a few kisses... but before he knows it, Harry is the one who wants more.
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Find me Before Midnight by Catcactus10 (AceBeanz86)
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
15 Feb 2026
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Basically, Cinderella but Harry and Draco. I was very inspired by the latest Bridgerton season. If ur a sucker for a good slowburn then same! This is a SLOW BURN
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– Гарри Поттер
Холод впивался в его плоть; запах приторной смерти и гнилой земли затуманивал его чувства.
– Мальчик, который выжил
Внутри Гарри возникло странное чувство невообразимой потери и разочарования. Этот блестящий, но жестокий мальчик мог бы добиться большего, если бы не ступил на этот кровавый путь.
Ужасный, но великий. Он пожалел это существо.
– Пришел умереть
Гарри Поттер встретился со вспышкой зелёного света с храбростью гриффиндорца и разбитым сердцем пуффендуйца.
Когда Смерть предложила Гарри третий вариант, который мог спасти каждого, кто был ему дорог, он, не колеблясь, принимает его. Даже когда это означало сделать невозможное: влюбиться в своего врага, Тома Реддла.
- Language:
- Русский
- Words:
- 4,574
- Chapters:
- 1/125
- Comments:
- 4
- Hits:
- 27
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Summary
Harry goes into Year 12 prepared for a year of messing around, endless fun and blissful life. Instead, he gets roomed with Malfoy.
OR: Harry is a sarcastic teenage dirtbag, and Draco is a snotty germaphobic perfectionist.
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What if Harry had been rescued from the Dursleys? What if he grew up loved and knowing about magic? What if his neighbor was Hermione? What if Lily Potter had a best friend who kept her promise to Lily to raise her son? This is what could have been.
Summary is vague, but this is an AU canon rewrite wherein Harry was raised by Amelia Bones, Lily's best friend. This is part of a larger series that spans from the 1970 to 1997 and covers the Marauder Era (also AU) to the end of the war. Characters may seem OOC, but that is because this is an AU. Darker themes will be present.
Series
- Part 1 of What Could Have Been
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Harry Potter is being ignored by everyone who’s supposed to care, takes a fall off a ladder and wakes up in a hospital. With nowhere left to go and a deep mistrust of adult intervention, he escapes to London for a night where things, naturally, get worse. He’s got no plan, a bruised skull, and a wand he’s not allowed to use. What he does get is Severus Snape, pressed into reluctant babysitter duty by Dumbledore himself.
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The Mystical Iron Fist by Reaction_writer
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Marvel, Iron Fist (Marvel Comics)
15 Feb 2026
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There was a temple at the end of Privet Drive.
Most everyone thought it was Buddhist, but that didn’t matter to Vernon and Petunia, who saw it as an eyesore that was too foreign for their taste—at least that was the polite way of putting their hours-long xenophobic tirade about ‘bloody foreigners’, nevermind that the temple has been their longer than Whinging has been a village.
or
Harry gets trained to become the Iron Fist and gives the finger to prophecy.
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Harry wasn't raised to be kind.
When Bellatrix kidnapped him from the Dursleys' house as a baby, he was taught from a young age that love was sharp, loyalty absolute, and piety inconsiderable.
Now, after being "rescued" at age eleven, Harry finds himself nothing more than a cage in a world he was taught to hate, with classmates he considers mere entertainment. The only things left of him from his home are the dark arts and his ideals, which everyone says are the wrong way to be.
Perhaps a certain Malfoy will be enough to get Harry's life back on track.
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Multiverse daycare by Vickyray
Fandoms: 陈情令 | The Untamed (TV), 魔道祖师 - 墨香铜臭 | Módào Zǔshī - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Naruto (Anime & Manga), Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Thor (Movies), Iron Man (Movies)
15 Feb 2026
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Twenty-eight-year-old Tony Stark thought his biggest challenge was taking over Stark Industries. He was wrong. Thanks to an ancient Asgardian legal loophole and a ten-year-old "sister" named Lyra , Tony is now the legal guardian of five overpowered anomalies.
Between a seven-year-old Thor who accidentally levels the gym, a five-year-old Loki who won't stop vanishing, and three interdimensional arrivals a toddler cultivator, a scarred wizard-to-be, and a glowing newborn. Tony is drowning in juice boxes and cosmic energy.
Enter Sirius Black: an escaped convict from another reality who just wants to protect his godson and somehow becomes the "fun uncle" to a house full of gods and ninjas. Together, this makeshift family must navigate 1990s Malibu, evade a fuming Odin, and survive the most dangerous thing of all: growing up
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Generation Hex: Origins by MayhemManaged
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Spider-Man (Movies - Raimi)
15 Feb 2026
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When ten-year-old Harry Potter gets the chance to take his cousin's spot on a field trip to the Science Museum, he has no idea that the consequences will change his life forever.
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Fiddlesticks by marymerry226
Fandoms: Danny Phantom, Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, DCU (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, DCU, Spider-Man - All Media Types
15 Feb 2026
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Danny becomes a teen dad, Harry Potter is looking for ANY other blood related family members, Tim Drake is intrigued by his new subject (erm, classmate-friend?), and the Batfam is about to meet three young boys that desperately need some help.
Good thing Bruce basically walks around with adoption papers at this point.
Series
- Part 1 of Fiddlesticks Universe
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The Chronicles of a Desperate Father by DarkLordWolf
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
15 Feb 2026
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When Severus Snape unexpectedly becomes the father of Harry—a mischievous baby with magic of his own—his solitary life is thrown into absolute chaos. Between nosy neighbors, magical emergencies, and endless mischief, Severus must learn how to survive parenthood… and perhaps discover that even the most cynical man can find tenderness in the midst of disorder.
Series
- Part 1 of The Chronicles of Castor Prince
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Through Stillness, Fire: Stone and Flame by choco_eater
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
15 Feb 2026
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At eleven, Lily Potter-Black is already a symbol—heir to power, sharpened by legacy. But when Voldemort returns, it is not to kill her. It is to claim her.
Bound to prophecy and ancient blood, Lily becomes the center of a game she doesn’t yet understand. And across the castle, Marvolo Slytherin begins to move—not as her professor, but as her protector.
One Dark Lord wants her for what she is.
The other may burn the world to keep her safe.
Fem!Harry AU. TR/HP. Soulbond. Slow burn - Part 2 "Through Stillness, Fire" series
Series
- Part 2 of Through Stillness, Fire
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As it turns out, falling behind the curtain is a bit too close to life to count as death. When his obnoxiously self-sacrificing godson turned that Resurrection Stone in the Forbidden Forest before he marched on to what he believed was his death, Sirius Black did not fade back into the afterlife along with his best friends. No, he was found in the Forbidden Forest, in the aftermath of the Second Wizarding War, shockingly, furiously, alive.
Five years later, he's built a recluse life as the reluctantly beloved Hogwarts DADA professor, seeing his godson three times a year and sustaining his irritating need for human connection by meeting women for a night in muggle bars in London, and recently, getting a puppy.
And then, he bumps into Hermione Granger on the train. She's far too young. She's Harry's best friend. She has a successful business and, last he heard, a boyfriend she loves. The last thing she needs is a miserable old dog who's still mad to be alive.
And yet. He wants nothing more than to be hers.
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On October 31st, 1981, the Reign of Voldemort had come to an end when he tried to kill Calanthe Potter, as his soul succumbed to her. Calanthe had been taken by Rubeus Hagrid and placed on Four Privet Drive by Albus Dumbledore. It was Albus's hope that Calanthe would be taken in by Vernon and Petunia Durlsey, but unknown to him, a famous vampire, Klaus Mikaelson, had stumbled upon the loud crying baby, and, doing something he promised he would never do again, he took her in, caring for her and becoming her father. This started a chain of events. Calanthe Potter would not step into Hogwarts weak and scared, but strong, confident, and with an affinity for violence and control. She wouldn't be a lion, but a vicious snake with venomous poison.
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Running Against The World That's Turning by xBluebirdx112
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer, Twilight (Movies), Twilight Series - All Media Types
14 Feb 2026
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Harry Potter had never been the new kid before, and he had been many things.
Going to Forks High School for a couple of years just for shits and giggles should have been fun, instead, he was trying to keep the most annoying muggle he had ever had the displeasure of meeting alive.
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