Chapter Text
For the second day in a row, Chara woke up.
It wasn't supposed to be like this. Today was Friday, which meant Frisk was supposed to be waking up, jostling Chara into consciousness by stretching and yawning. Chara would get a brief view of the ceiling fan spinning lazily for a second or two. Then the quilt and sheets would snap back and they would find themselves being violently bounced out of bed. Chara greeted Frisk's energetic start to the day with a groan every single time, but never with a verbalized complaint. They could put up with it. It would be Frisk's turn to suffer the next day, stifling their impatience at how long it took Chara to sluggishly roll their body out of bed after they stabbed the snooze button two or three times. As with every human amalgamate consisting of two people squashed into a single body, compromises had to be made.
Except this was Frisk's day to steer their body.Or at least it would have been, Chara thought glumly, if I hadn't been such a coward. The shame they had gone to sleep with the night before crept back into their head. They had had a whole day to say what they were going to say - why hadn't they just done it and gotten it over with, instead of wasting time hoping for just the right moment? Their procrastination only meant that now another day was going to be spoiled by anxiety and dread. Why were they so terrified and slow and stupid and…?
"Uh-uh, Chara," came a gentle but insistent voice in their head. "I can feel that. You're doing it again. Don't start down that path."
"Look, Frisk, I just woke up, OK? I'm just pulling my thoughts together, that's all."
"No, you're getting upset about how yesterday went, and you're probably feeling bad again that you're taking my day, even though it's totally fine and I don't mind at all. Right?"
"Frisk…ugh!" Chara, who hadn't moved yet, sighed heavily and closed their eyes again. "It is far too early for you to be mind-reading."
"But I'm right, aren't I?"
Chara's felt a flash of annoyance. Frisk was right, of course, and they had to admit their real irritation had little to do with Frisk putting their finger on the problem. Yesterday was supposed to have been the culmination of four weeks of planning and mental preparation. With Frisk's enthusiastic support, Chara had steeled themselves to reveal their presence to their parents. Both of them knew it had to be done eventually. From the day they had started sharing control of their body, it had been clear that their differing personalities and mannerisms would either make the truth obvious to their parents, or else fill them with worry that something bizarre was happening to Frisk every other day. Either way, they couldn't hide the truth forever.
It wasn't that Chara wanted to keep their parents or their friends in the dark. Deep down, they were even looking forward to the moment when they could announce their return after having been gone for over a century. But when the day had finally arrived, Chara had blown it. Breakfast had gone by without a good opportunity presenting itself, then Toriel was too busy during the morning to have a lengthy conversation, and then it seemed too awkward at lunch, and then she had to run an errand after that, and by then it was going to be too late to get over to Asgore's house anyway, and wouldn't it be better to tell both parents on the same day? The question was still unresolved by dinner, and then it seemed too late by the time evening rolled around, and then Chara and Frisk were back in bed with Toriel kissing them goodnight. In spite of Frisk's sympathy and the offer of a do-over the next day, Chara went to sleep clouded with thoughts of failure and self-recriminations.
"Look, Chara, it's fine!" Frisk was now insisting. "I'm totally OK with you taking control today. I know this is really hard, and nobody says you have to be able to get it done in a day. It's completely fine if you need more time to get ready. I don't mind you taking an extra day or two. Or even three."
"I am NOT going to take a third day. That would be completely unfair."
"All I'm saying is, don't woooorry about it," the voice pleaded. "I'm fine. You can take all the time you need."
Chara sighed again and rolled their head to look at the clock on the night table next to them. 8:15.
"Alright, Frisk. Thank you."
"We're gonna get through this together, and in the end it's gonna be great!"
Chara felt their right hand move on its own and gently start rubbing the fingers of their other hand. It was a system the two of them had wordlessly worked out over the last few weeks. Chara was left-handed while Frisk was right-handed. Over Frisk's objections, Chara had insisted that they would learn to favor their right hand in public as much as possible, to avoid anyone wondering why Frisk seemed to switch dominant hands every other day. But between the two of them, when internalized words and emotions just weren't enough, they would communicate affection or fear or other strong feelings to their friend using their dominant hand. There was something reassuring about "Frisk's" hand physically coming over to squeeze "Chara's". With a spark of appreciation directed towards their friend, Chara seized control of both hands and pushed themselves out of bed.
While the two children shared a similar style in clothing, their color preferences were almost entirely at odds. Plain brown pants and shorts were fine, but Chara wished that Frisk had a wider variety of shirts to choose from. Pawing through the drawers, they finally selected a faded olive-colored short-sleeved shirt from the middle dresser drawer that held Frisk's least favorite outfits. A heavy sigh echoed in their mind.
"Knock it off, Frisk," Chara glared at the mirror. " If I can put up with that bright fuchsia shirt you wear, you can deal with this for a day."
"It's just so booooring," Frisk whined.
Ignoring them, Chara picked out the rest of their clothes and got dressed. A few minutes later they tossed their pajamas in the laundry basket next to the dresser. They were just about to leave the room when they stopped. For a moment Chara stood motionless, apparently in thought, before slowly turning back. They got down on their knees and opened the bottom drawer of the dresser, which held all the winter clothes that wouldn't be needed for several more months. Chara pushed aside the heavy sweaters and snow pants until they reached the bottom, where they stopped to look down at the object they had uncovered, glinting in the light.
"…Do you mind, Frisk?"
"No, it's fine! Although you might want to make sure Mom doesn't see it until you tell her about, um… you know, you. She knows I never wear it."
"Good thinking."
Chara reached in and pulled the chain out. Wrapping it around their neck, they fastened the clasp, then tucked the locket under their collar. They checked themself in the mirror to make sure the chain was hidden as well, then opened their door and left the bedroom.
Breakfast was bacon-and-egg pie and a bowl of blueberries. The middle of summer was prime picking season, and Frisk had spent most of Monday morning sweating at a local pick-your-own blueberry farm. Their determination to brave the sweltering heat had been matched by Toriel who had, despite almost wilting, still managed to pick five quarts on her own, probably because she could reach the beautifully ripe berries at the tops of the bushes, out of reach from everyone except professional basketball players and goat moms. All three of them loved blueberries, and Chara had complained only twice during the two hours they were out there. Frisk had been very proud of them.
Now, as they swallowed the last of their blueberries and listened to Toriel humming to herself in the kitchen, Chara pushed the remains of their pie around on the plate glumly, staring at nothing.
"Hey, Chara - other hand."
"Oops." Chara switched the fork from their left hand to the right and resumed playing with their food, a little less dexterously.
"So, have you figured out what you're going to say?" asked Frisk.
"Ugh, no. I still can't think of a good way to bring up the subject."
"Maybe we've been overthinking this. Why not just jump right in? 'Hi, Mom, it's me, Chara. I'm right here.' Or something like that?"
"Frisk, no. We don't want a repeat of last month."
The same uneasy memory went through both of their minds. A little too much body-swapping on the first day of shared control, unthinkingly done as a live performance in front of Toriel, had freaked her out. It had taken a little while to calm her down, but it had also exposed how raw her memories of Chara were, and how close to the surface they remained, even a century later.
"Yeah, you're right," Frisk admitted. "I guess we're gonna have to be more careful how we do it."
Chara sighed. "The hard part is that I can't really start without pretending I'm you, because she doesn't know I'm here and I don't know how to get her to that point."
"Yeah. I can't really think of a good-"
"WAIT. Wait a minute! That's it!" Chara put their fork down. Their eyes were wide open. They could feel the confusion from their friend.
"What? What's it?"
"I shouldn't be doing this at all! Toriel sees YOU sitting here, so you should do it!"
"What? No way! This is your day!" Frisk protested. "This is your big moment! I'm not going to take that away from you. You're going to tell Mom that you're back, and she's gonna hug you and cry and-"
"No, no, that's not what I mean. I mean that YOU are her only child at the present. So, you should be the one to bring the subject up. Get her to the point where you can introduce me, and then I'll take over."
A wave of uncertainty radiated from the back of Chara's head.
"I-I don't know about this plan, Chara," Frisk said quietly. "I don't have any clue what to say either. And I don't want to steal your big surprise."
"You won't. I will be ready to take over when the time is right. But Toriel is expecting to talk to you, so you should be the one who starts it off. You can talk about… I don't know, what her life was like when she was the queen. She will undoubtedly start talking about her children after a while. And then you can tell her that I am actually here now, and I will take over from there."
The uncertainty radiating from their friend didn't diminish.
"I dunno Chara… that seems a little forced. I'm not sure this is a good idea."
"Please, Frisk - this really is the best way to do it, I am sure. You don't have to say much. Just get her to talk about the old days, and it will all fall into place naturally."
There was a long pause. "Alright," Frisk finally said reluctantly. "If you're really sure. I'll give it a try. Just finish breakfast for us while I try to think of what to say. I'll take over when you're done."
"Thank you, Frisk."
Chara resumed eating, with a mixture of relief and guilt. What they had said was logical and reasonable; Frisk sounded a lot more like Frisk than Chara did, after all. And yet they couldn't help feeling guilty for shunting the hard part of the conversation off to their friend. Still, Frisk had an easy way with words and socializing that Chara could not imitate. Frisk would know what to say. And if Frisk did the talking, Chara wouldn't have to worry about slipping up and accidentally revealing something that "Frisk" could not possibly know. Not until the moment of truth came.
Chara stuffed the last of the pie into their mouth and put their spoon and fork onto the plate. Ready?"
"I-I guess so," Frisk said reluctantly. "Let's do it."
"OK. You take over from here."
Chara relinquished control and moved into the background as Frisk picked up the dishes and carried them into the kitchen. Toriel was just finishing emptying the dishwasher. She beamed down at them.
"Hello, dear one! How was breakfast?"
"It was great, Mom - thanks! The pie was really good."
"Wonderful! It is amazing how many things go well with eggs. If you liked that, perhaps you might enjoy something with egg and sausage tomorrow?"
"Yeah, that sounds good."
Frisk loaded their dishes and cup into the empty dishwasher as Toriel began to wipe the counters.
"OK, are you ready? Should I start now?" Frisk asked.
"If you like. Wait… do you think it would be better if we were in the living room? In case she needs to sit down?"
"Oh, that might be a good idea."
Frisk cleared their throat. "Hey Mom, could I ask you something?"
"Of course, dear," Toriel replied, without turning around.
"Um… could we go sit down in the living room for a minute?"
"Oh?" Toriel turned to look at Frisk. "Well certainly if you would like. Would that be more comfortable?" Faint lines of worry began to appear on her brow. "Is something wrong, my child?"
"Oh no, no, nothing's wrong! I just wanted to ask you some stuff and, uh, maybe tell you some stuff. Just… some things. I just thought it'd be easier if we could sit down. But nothing's wrong!"
The reassurances only appeared to increase Toriel's concern. Nevertheless, she put the washcloth back in the sink and dried her hands. "Certainly, dear."
Together they walked out of the kitchen, past the small dining table, and into the living room. Toriel settled into her recliner, and Frisk clambered onto the sofa, doing their best to look nonchalant and calming down only slightly as their left hand reached out to grip the right one tightly. Toriel said nothing but looked at her child expectantly.
"So, I was, uh, thinking about some of the things we were talking about a few weeks ago. You know, after I came home from visiting Dad."
Another worried look crossed Toriel's face again, and Frisk hurried on. "We were talking about what life was like in the Underground, way back when you were a queen. And you started telling me some things about Chara and Asriel."
Toriel took a deep breath. The furrowed lines on her face disappeared as she leaned back in the recliner, her shoulders slumping a little. "Ah yes. I apologize if that distressed you at all, Frisk. It was a moment of weakness on my part and I did not intend to dump my emotional heartaches on you."
"No! No, it was fine, Mom. I'm glad you did! You never really talked much about Chara before, and I was interested in everything you said about them. That's kinda what I wanted to ask you about, actually. I was hoping you could tell me more about what Chara was like."
Toriel gave them a quizzical look. "Really? Are you sure? Chara lived over a century ago, dear - what is it you find so interesting about them?"
"Oh, uh..." Help! they called internally.
"Tell her you're interested in what it was like for a human living in the Underground." Chara answered swiftly.
"… well, I just thought it was really interesting how you and Dad used to have both a monster and a human child when you lived Underground, and… I dunno, I just wanted to know more about what they were like. It's kind of like they're an adopted sibling I never knew I had."
"That's weird, Frisk, but whatever."
The child said nothing more but sat quietly after slapping their own left hand lightly. Toriel's eyes became distant.
"Well, Chara was a very... intense child, I would say. When they fell into the Underground, they could not have been more than eight years old or so. Not even Chara was sure of their own age. And that was just one of the many things we never learned about their past, except that they must have had a very difficult life on the surface."
She looked at Frisk and smiled, a little sadly. "Chara was quite intelligent - a lot like you, Frisk. It's amazing how much you remind me of them in so many ways. Like you, Chara had an unwavering determination when they set their mind on something. They were always very sure about what they wanted, and they were always certain they knew what the best way was to get it."
"And they loved to learn new things. Chara and Asriel would often go to the library together, though I think perhaps Asriel did it more for Chara's sake than for any deep love of books on his part. Chara though… they could spend hours there, reading whatever they could about human science, monster science, magic, botany, astronomy, drawing, ballet… anything they could find!" Toriel chuckled softly. "Of course, that did my heart as a teacher good."
"Ballet??"
Chara fought to keep a glare off their face as amusement rolled out of their friend.
"Shut up, Frisk. The library at Home a hundred years ago was the size of our bedroom, and when you've read everything three times over, you either have to expand your horizons or stare at ceiling rocks with Asriel until your brain shrivels up."
"Shh, I'm trying to pay attention" Frisk said breezily. Toriel didn't notice her child's left hand reach over to pinch the right one, hard, and a moment later the hands were covered by a throw pillow to make private messaging easier.
"What do you mean when you said that Chara was an intense child?" Frisk asked.
"Why are you asking that?" Chara grumbled. "This isn't getting us anywhere."
"I'm just curious - shh."
"Oh, I just meant that Chara threw themselves headlong into whatever they did. I remember the day Chara decided they wanted to learn how to cook. I gave them my recipe book, and then went out to run some errands. When I got home, I discovered they used up my entire can of flour. Every time they had made a mistake, they had thrown the entire batch out and started over!" Toriel chuckled softly. "But they learned very quickly. I had modified all the recipes in the salvaged cookbooks we had for fire magic, of course, but Chara was determined to cook them the original way. And once they had a recipe figured out, they would begin to make modifications. They loved to experiment. Different kinds of spices, different types of vegetables, trying out cinnamon and nutmeg and cloves in their pastries, sometimes just using whatever ingredients I had in the refrigerator or pantry to see how that would affect the taste of whatever they were making. It was often difficult to follow a recipe exactly, since we didn't have many of the ingredients that are common on the surface, but Chara was resourceful. They often figured out how to substitute ingredients in case we couldn't..."
Her words stopped suddenly, and slowly her eyes grew unfocused again as her face sagged.
"Chara! She's remembering the pie with the-"
"I know, I know! Say something else, quickly! Distract her!"
"Um - yeah, that sounds pretty neat, Mom. Cooking can be a lot of fun!" Frisk said lamely. The words were enough to cause Toriel to blink and regain her composure, however, and Frisk hurried on. "So, did Chara have a lot of friends?"
Chara made no comment, and after a moment's thought, Toriel slowly shook her head.
"No, dear, I think Chara found it very difficult to made friends. At first Asgore and I thought it was the natural differences between monsters and humans that made it awkward, but I think that Chara probably did not have many friends on the surface either. In fact… in fact…"
Frisk waited nervously while Toriel trailed off into silence for a moment. Chara still said nothing. When Toriel spoke again, there was a hint of sadness in her voice.
"I think, Frisk, if I were to answer your question about what Chara was like, I would say that they were a child with a shadow over them."
Frisk gulped and said nothing. This was clearly not the path to the happy revelation that either of them had intended. The conversation needed to be reset somehow. Which made it all the more surprising when Frisk heard their own voice saying, "What do you mean, Mom?"
"Chara?" Frisk asked. "We don't have to talk about this. I can change the subject."
"Actually, I would like to hear the answer to this," Chara replied.
Toriel sighed and readjusted herself in the chair. "We always knew that Chara had come from some troubling situation when they fell into the Underground, but we felt that we must not pry into it, and Chara made it clear that they did not want to talk about it. Asgore and I hoped that in time, if we could give Chara a happy home and as much of a normal life that a human could have - living Underground with monsters - that they would find healing."
A wistful smile appeared on her face. "Asriel took to Chara immediately, and Asgore and I hoped that he would be a good influence on Chara. And although I think his enthusiasm may have irritated Chara at first, they seemed to become fast friends before long.
Frisk felt a mixture of warmth, longing, and regret radiate from their friend.
"But the shadow never fully left Chara."
Toriel folded her arms and began to rock gently in her recliner.
"There was always a cloud of despondency around Chara that never fully lifted. Moments of joy seemed so fleeting for them, and I think the intensity with which they approached everything may have been in part to distract them from the pain that never seemed very far away. They acted properly, they were polite and respectful, they caused very little trouble, but… but Chara was so burdened. There was a barrier there that none of us could break." Tears began to form in Toriel's eyes.
"…Chara?" The voice was worried.
"Just let her talk, Frisk," Chara said quietly.
The child on the sofa began to tremble slightly, and their two hands restlessly sought each other.
"And you heard the other night what happened in the end." Toriel sniffed and wiped the tears that had begun to fall. "The truth is, I failed them, dear one. Asgore and I both tried and failed. We just could not find a way to save them." Her sniffing grew louder. "I only wish I had spent more time with them-"
"No! You did! She did, Frisk!" Chara insisted vehemently. "She was always there when I needed her."
"And I wish I could have convinced them how much Asgore and Asriel and I loved them."
"You did, Mom! I knew that! I loved you too! That's why I wanted to break the barrier, so you would be-!"
"And I wish," Toriel said, her voice cracking, "that Chara had known how deeply we would miss them. Even now."
The voice in Frisk's head fell silent.
For a moment, everything in the living room was quiet, except for a few snuffles and the creak of a chair gently rocking. Eventually Toriel looked up and gave her child a watery smile. "Perhaps that would have changed their mind. But perhaps it was always beyond our power."
She blinked and shook her head. "Oh, dear! I am sorry, Frisk, for once again burdening you with this. This is surely not what you had in mind to talk about. Truly there were happy times back in those days as well. Why, I remember one time that Asriel and Chara and Asgore went to town..."
She continued on, but neither child was listening. Frisk reached out to rub the other hand. "Are you OK?"
"I never believed it, Frisk. I never believed that they would miss me. They told me they loved me, but I was sure that they would forget about me once they were free. Why didn't I believe them, Frisk?" Waves of anguish radiated from Chara. "Why couldn't I have just been happy with them? They SAID they loved me - Why didn't I LISTEN to them? I didn't listen! I got Asriel killed because I didn't believe them. Why didn't I believe them?" The agony pouring out from Chara was almost more than Frisk could handle.
"Chara… hey, Chara, it's OK. It's OK. That was a long time-"
"It's too late." Chara could barely formulate the words. "It's too late. This… I can't even think anymore. We need to stop this. We need to stop this now, Frisk. Get us out of here. Please… please, let's just leave."
As the waves of guilt and self-loathing continued to pour from their friend, Frisk agonized for a moment, then made a decision.
"Mom?"
Toriel, in the middle of her story, stopped and looked at them.
"Mom," Frisk said, "if Chara were still here today, what would you say to them?"
Toriel became very still. For several moments she said nothing. Chara's agitation continued to churn, and Frisk began to grow nervous. Had they gone too far? Was Toriel going to put an end to the conversation? But after a moment she started speaking again. Her eyes were distant, staring at nothing.
"I have thought about that a great deal over the years. What words could I have used that would have changed things back then? What would I say if I could see them again? Of course, I would tell them that I loved them. All of us loved Chara. Asgore loved having Chara with him, whether it was in the garden or running errands in town or just visiting our subjects. And Asriel…" she gave a great sniff. "Dear Asriel - he loved Chara as much as anyone could love a sibling. He loved Chara enough to carry out their last wish. All Chara asked for in the end was to be back at their home one last time, to see the flowers of their village. And Asriel loved Chara enough to want to give that to them."
The grief and guilt surging out of Chara was almost like a physical blow, threatening to overwhelm both children.
"Chara it's ok it's ok it's ok you're ok."
Frantically their hands squeezed and intertwined.
"Frisk, she doesn't know, she doesn't know what I made him-"
"I know… I know. It'll be OK. It'll be OK. Hang on!"
"But I think," Toriel stopped and sat motionless for a moment. "I think, that perhaps if I could do it again, I would treat Chara differently."
Surprise and dismay interrupted the waves of self-recrimination rolling out of Chara. Toriel's face had taken on a look of regret. She sat in silence for an uncomfortably long time. Eventually, with trepidation, Frisk asked,
"What do you mean, Mom?"
Toriel looked at them sadly. "Over the years, I have come to believe that perhaps Chara knew that we loved them, but never fully understood the nature of our love. I think that Chara may have thought that our love for them was only a love of pity. The kind of benevolence you have for some pitiful creature who has fallen into your life that you now have an obligation to assist. I wonder if perhaps Chara thought that was all we felt towards them."
She gave a short, mirthless chuckle.
"It may be that that was how it was in the beginning. Certainly, they were a frightful sight that first day, hanging on to Asriel as he dragged them through the front door, more dead than alive. Our hearts went out to them immediately. I feared that perhaps a lingering resentment towards humanity might rise up in Asgore... or even in myself. And yet to my wonder, it never did. All we felt was pity and a desire to help this poor, lost child."
Toriel's eyes grew soft, and her paws began to gently rub each other.
"But it wasn't long at all before it became so much more than that. Chara was a delight to us. Even in the moments when they could be a bit trying, our hearts went out to that child. Asgore and I would talk often about the two children after they had gone to bed, and it was with some surprise and genuine joy that we found that we loved both of them equally. In their own unique way, Chara had become part of our family, and we could not have been happier."
"So I think… I think if I could see them again, I would tell Chara how much I missed them. And I know Asgore would say the same thing. I would try to make Chara understand how much better our family was because they were a part of it. I would try to convince Chara that we wanted them with us. That there was no need for them to…. for them to…"
Tears were coming down Toriel's face now. Neither child dared to breathe.
"…for them to leave us. I would tell them that they brought us so much joy." Her words had dropped almost to a whisper. "Not because we felt an obligation to them, not because we were sorry for them, not even for anything they ever did for us, but just for who they were." Her head dropped. "I wish they had known that. Oh, how I wish they had known."
The three of them sat in uncomfortable silence, interrupted only by Toriel's snuffling. Frisk could feel the pain still throbbing in their friend's mind, but there was something else now. Deep, anguished longing. A desire to throw open their arms and rush forward, even as guilt and indecision still held them back. The turmoil bubbled as a war was fought.
"Chara… I think it's time."
"I don't…. I don't think I can-"
"You can! Mom loves you! Trust her! Go to her!"
Toriel gave a little shake of her head, and her eyes refocused. She blinked several times, looking at the child on the sofa across from her as if she had suddenly remembered they were there.
"Oh, my dear child, I am so sorry!" she said with an awkward laugh. "I have done it again, haven't I? Bringing out old memories to dump on you. I had no right to do that. Please forgive me, dear one."
"Chara?"
"I am a foolish old woman who spends far too much time thinking about things long since passed that cannot be changed, when I should be focusing on what is here now, and what is ahead of us."
"Chara??"
"I appreciate you listening to me so patiently, though. You are a remarkable child, my dear! There is something that makes it so easy to speak with you about adult things, but nonetheless that is no excuse for burdening you with such heavy, sad thoughts. Enough of that!" Toriel put her paws on the armrest of the chair, pushed herself up, and smiled down at her child. "Why don't we go to the kitchen and see if there is something we could make for dessert tonight? I believe I might have enough molasses and brown sugar to-"
"Mom?"
The voice was not Frisk's.
Toriel stopped. "Yes, my child?"
"Mom... it's me."
A faint look of confusion furrowed her brow. "I'm sorry?"
"It's me, Mom." Their voice cracked a bit. "It's Chara. I'm right here."
Toriel blinked and shook her head with a small, confused smile.
"I'm sorry, Frisk… what?"
"I-I know it doesn't make any sense, but I'm Chara. I'm here with Frisk, right now. We're both here together, in this body."
The smile disappeared. Confusion mounted in Toriel's eyes, along with something else Chara couldn't identify.
"Frisk, what… what are you… why are you saying this?" Her voice was trembling.
"It's not... it's not Frisk right now, Mom. It's me. Chara. I've wanted to tell you this for a long time, but… I just couldn't find a way to do it." Chara's voice began to shake, and their words grew faster. "I don't know how to explain it, but when Frisk fell into the Underground, I woke up inside their head. I could see and feel everything that Frisk was doing. And ever since that day, I've been with Frisk, and the two of us-"
"FRISK!"
Chara broke off and stared at Toriel. Her eyes were wide and her mouth was open in fear. She began to back away towards the dining area. "What is going on? Why are you talking like this? Have you become ill?" She gasped. "Has all my talking about Chara done something to you?"
She reached a trembling hand out, motioning downwards. "Please… please my child, just sit there for a moment. I will call Doctor Hartnell immediately. We will… we will find a way to help you. Please, just wait a moment…" Her words became confused as her eyes darted around looking for her phone. "It will be… we will… do not worry Frisk… I am very sorry… let me just…"
"Mom!"
Frisk tried to jump up and run forwards, but Chara was frozen, and they stumbled awkwardly out of the sofa.
"Let go, Chara! Let go!"
Frisk could feel the panic from their friend, but a moment later the sluggishness from their limbs disappeared. Frisk took full control and stepped forward.
"Mom, I'm sorry, we didn't mean to scare you!" Frisk pleaded. "Chara really is with me, but it's really OK! I can explain… well, I can try to explain!"
Toriel's eyes began to fill with panic. She jerked backwards as Frisk came towards her, tripping over the leg of a dining chair behind her. She stumbled and fell hard against the table, only just barely catching herself from falling onto the floor. She twisted awkwardly and managed to collapse into the chair, her wide eyes still fixed on the child.
"STOP, FRISK! We're freaking her out!" The anguish and fear in Chara's voice brought Frisk to an immediate halt.
"What do we do now??" Frisk was close to panic as well.
"I don't know! I've messed it up again! I don't know what to do!"
The monster and the child stared at each other, Toriel struggling for comprehension, and Frisk and Chara in indecision and misery. Their mother - their own mother - did not recognize them. She was staring in horror at them like they were a stranger.
"…Mom?" Frisk finally choked out.
Toriel's eyes still had not left them. Her mouth moved, but no words came out. Frisk took a tentative step forward.
"Mom? It's me. It's still me, Mom." Their words were a plea.
"…Frisk?" Toriel said, almost in a whisper.
"Chara, what should I say?"
There was no answer, only turmoil. But a moment later, Toriel reached out her trembling arms. Frisk rushed forward and was buried in her robe in an instant.
"Frisk… oh Frisk, what has happened to you?" their mother’s voice cracked above them. "I am sorry, I am so sorry, I do not know what I have done! I am sorry I spoke to you about Chara, dear. I am sorry for hurting you. Please, ignore what I have said! I do not need you to speak as if you are Chara. I deeply apologize for whatever I said that gave you that-"
"Mom, you didn't say anything wrong! And I'm OK, really! I haven't gone crazy or anything. I was the one who brought up Chara in the first place, because I wanted to tell you…" Frisk gulped, but it was too late to change course now. "…to tell you that they're not gone. Chara is still-"
"Frisk, please stop!"
Without letting go, Toriel pulled the child out so she could look at them. Her panic had mostly abated, but her eyes were still full of horror. She was on the verge of crying. "Please, dear, no more! I do not know if something dreadful has happened to you, or if you have somehow become convinced that you must pretend to be Chara for my comfort. But you cannot… you must not… please, Frisk… please…"
Her voice choked, and as her words trailed off, she pulled Frisk into her anguished embrace.
Nothing more was said. Toriel held on to Frisk, rubbing their back with intensity and rocking back and forth. Frisk ran through scenarios in their mind, trying desperately to think of what to say. With the turbulence and anguish coming from Chara, it was clear that now was not the time to collaborate. But what could they do? Frisk considered trying to pass the whole thing off as a joke, but immediately dismissed the idea. Not only would it sound like the worst possible joke of all time, it would probably not even calm Toriel's fears over their mental health. But given the state their mother was in, any further discussion about Chara might send her over the edge. What could they do then? How could they fix this? Had Chara been right after all - was this whole thing a gigantic mistake? Maybe they never should have suggested-
"Mom?" came a muffled voice, to Frisk's surprise.
Before Toriel could answer, the voice continued. "Mom, do you remember my ninth birthday?"
Toriel pushed the child out of the folds of her robe again and fixed desperate eyes on them. "Frisk, I beg you-!"
"I didn't want us to celebrate it. I told you and Dad that it wasn't important, but really, I was afraid. I didn't want everyone to be staring at me and watching me and singing and cheering and all that. But you and Dad insisted. And when you asked me what kind of cake I wanted, I said chocolate cake because I was mad and was trying to get back at you. I knew the only chocolate you had in the house was the candy bar you had given me."
Toriel's mouth was still open from her unfinished sentence, but no more words came out. She stared at Chara.
Chara took a ragged breath. "And then, about a week later I was in my room when I heard Dad calling me to come out. And when I came into the dining room, you and Dad and Asriel yelled "Surprise!" and I saw this big banner you had hung up that said 'Happy Birthday, Chara Dreemurr'. And there were a bunch of presents on the table, and a little cake that was absolutely covered in chocolate."
Toriel might as well have been a statue. Her eyes were the size of saucers.
Chara sniffed hard and tried to steady their voice. "And when I asked you where you got the chocolate, you and Dad smiled, and Dad held up his finger to his mouth like it was a secret. But Asriel was doing that thing where he would bounce up and down on his toes, and he couldn't stop himself from telling me. He said that Dad had gone to every store in Home and Snowdin and Waterfall to buy every piece of chocolate he could find, and Asriel had even asked Dad to let him use his allowance to buy some from his friends for me. But when Dad told him that he had found enough, he used it to buy a pair of presents instead, that he said were for both of us to share."
Chara pulled the locket out from beneath their shirt and clutched it. Frisk could feel the turmoil in their friend's mind melting away. Toriel was starting to shake. Her open mouth was quivering, and her eyes were glistening.
"And then," Chara smiled faintly, "Asriel tried to light the candles but ended up making a fireball that melted all the chocolate off one side of the cake. And then he started crying, but you hugged him and said that the chocolate would taste just as good on a plate. And then you pulled me into the hug, and told me 'happy birthday' again and that you loved me, and... and..."
Chara lifted their head. Their own eyes were wet. Tears were freely coming down their mother's face.
"And I think that was the first time I ever said that I loved you too, Mom."
"It was," Toriel almost whispered. "It was. I cannot tell you how much joy that brought me." She paused and took a great, shuddering breath. "How...? How can this be? Chara… Chara, is it really you?"
"It's me, Mom. It's me. I'm back."
For a second, the two children saw astonished, tearful joy break out on their mother's face before they were suddenly buried tight in her arms once again. A mixture of sobbing and crooning came from above them. A huge smile spread over their face, and warmth flooded both of their minds.
Abruptly they were pulled back out again, and an anxious face looked at them. "And Frisk... what about Frisk? Where are they now?"
Frisk quickly took over. "I'm still here, Mom!" They patted their chest. "This is me now - Frisk."
Wonderment came into Toriel's face. "Yes... yes, I feel as though I can see it now. I have thought before that I could see my Chara in you, Frisk, but I never gave it any credence. Just wishful thinking. But now... yes, I think I can see it. And Chara… can you still hear me? May I ask you to speak again?
Another handoff. "This is me now, Mom - I'm Chara."
"Yes! Yes, it is you my child! I see both of you now!" A look of delight came into Toriel's eyes. "My children! My dear, precious children. Truly this is a miracle! How can such a thing be possible? How is it that you are in Frisk's body, Chara? How long have the two of you been together?"
"Oh boy."
"You tell her, Frisk. It's your body."
"Nuh-uh. She asked you."
A short mental argument later, Chara sighed. "Well, that's a really long story, Mom. Can we go back to the living room?"