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Chapter Text

Severus wasn’t dumb, and he wasn’t an idiot either. He was selfish, that was true, and he was sneaky. Severus knew that living in that house with Tobias Snape was dangerous, living in a house with a drunk Tobias Snape is fatal. Every time Tobias came home smelling like beer and stumbling around, his mother would sneak him out his bedroom window. Her eyes wild and afraid she would whisper for him to run to the river for a few hours and to not come inside until Tobias was asleep. Years ago this would happen once or twice a week, now it was more like every other night if that. Severus asked once why they didn’t leave as he was laying in bed, his mother curled around him, shoulders shaking in silent sobs. The way she looked at him, full of sadness and pity and said, “Leave where?” made Severus never ask her again.

He hoped that he would one day run away; hoped that he would be able to scrape up the courage to leave; in that hope, he began to slowly take supplies and food from the house and from stores that he knew would last and stashed them in a worn-down pack under his bed. 

Time went on and eventually, he was almost 10 ½ years old, they had been cleaning up the house after lunch when Tobias stumbled drunkenly into the house yelling and immediately going for the only breakable dishes they had left. His mother looked at Severus with fear and ushered him to his room, “Run Severus, run to the river and don’t come back for-” she was cut off as the bedroom door slammed open. 

There Tobias stood face purple-red in anger he began muttering under his breath foul things that made Severus want to hide and made his mother’s face pale. His mother’s face hardened suddenly and she turned and threw herself at Tobias yelling for Severus to run and get out while Tobias started yelling and swinging his fists. Severus spared not even a second glance, he ran to his bed, snatched up the hidden bag, and clambered out of his bedroom window. Running as hard and fast as he could till he couldn’t hear the screams of his mother or Tobias any longer. 

Too soon, he had to stop running, his small body unable to deal with the exertion any longer. He sat down on the ground trying to think of a plan. He could wait a few hours and go back to his mother’s side as he always had done before. Tobias was getting worse and worse by the day it seemed and there was only so much that his mother could take, but he didn’t want to step in for his mother, wasn’t strong enough to protect her and take the beatings as horrible as that thought made him feel. He shook with the mere thought of going back there, where Tobias raged and ruled. Tobias always had called him a selfish and self-serving brat, maybe it was time to embrace that and leave?

He rubbed his hands over his head in frustration grimacing at the greasy feeling of his hair, wishing he was allowed to wash more he wiped his hands off on his trousers. He stood slowly knowing that he shouldn’t daddle if he wanted to truly get away from Spinner’s End. Cokeworth was a fairly large town and he would need to walk quickly in order to be able to get away from it by nightfall, he knew he was hindered by the fact that he couldn’t run for fear of attracting the attention of an adult. He refused to go back to that house with Tobias, even if that meant he never saw his mother again.

Turning away from thoughts of his mother, he walked with confidence as if he had a destination in mind. Passing by a small family his eyes caught on a girl with lovely red hair tied up neatly into a braid, she was laughing with another girl, her bright green eyes crinkled with glee. Severus decided that one day he would have that kind of carefree happiness.

He walked for hours, refusing to stop even as his throat became parched and his stomach growled and grumbled. As night fell, Severus finally reached the bus station at the edge of town, he sat down against the building and pulled open his meager supplies. As he cracked open a bottle of water he began to plot where he would go and how he would be able to get there. He barely had any money, what little that Tobias didn’t use to buy alcohol, his mother kept hidden very well for food and Severus was not a very good thief. 

He decided that instead of going to a town nearby or a smaller town, he would need the numbers of a big city to be able to hide from anyone who would be looking for him. He didn’t know if Tobias would actually call the police or if he would come looking himself but he decided paranoia was worth it if it kept him from getting caught. Now the closest big city is London, but he couldn’t make it there on foot.  He put away his water ignoring the food in his bag and scoped out the few busses that were preparing to leave. Two of them were finishing loading the last few people, one had just pulled in, and the last had enough people in line that he might be able to sneak on without being noticed.

He circled the last bus inconspicuously to see if it had any other openings and, success! The bag section at the bottom of the bus was still open! He quickly glanced around and darted into the compartment, luckily he was small enough that he could fit very well. He clambered around the bags before finding a semi-comfortable spot and only relaxed when he heard the bus driver close the doors. He made it! He was free, and he would stay that way forever!

Chapter Text

London was so much larger than Cokeworth, Severus thought once again after crawling into his shelter for the night. It had been a few months since he had run away and so far he was doing just fine on his own. Sure, it was bitterly cold in the winter and he didn’t have warm meals or a family to spend Christmas with, but who needed that when he had his freedom! The first few weeks he was terrified that he had made the wrong decision, constantly hungry, freezing cold, and having no money. But somehow things worked out, when he went to stores to see what he might steal, suddenly the cashier had to help a delivery boy with his load or they would walk over to a family and have a very long discussion with them, suddenly having discovered that they are related in some wild and fantastical way. Once even the register exploded and the magazine rack fell over at the same time! Severus chuckled as he remembered how he even got a few bills out of the chaos. 

He wasn't proud of stealing from stores and people’s pockets but he figured he needed the food more than the stores needed the money. He wasn’t sure how he had survived this far but his eleventh birthday was tomorrow and he’d never felt more grown-up. 

He knew that he had to hide from the police still as well as from his parents if they came looking for him. He hoped that they thought he had died, maybe he could start using a different name just in case. He cracked a pocket warmer for his hands and bundled himself up underneath what few blankets he collected or stole and promptly fell asleep.

It was late in the evening, almost night. He could hear the water of the river flowing and knew he was waiting for Tobias to be asleep. Humming to himself he walked around the riverbank, stooping once in a while to collect a leaf here, a rock there, some flowers and blades of grass, finally stopping to gather some mud before kneeling and digging a small hole into the ground. He lined the hole with the mud evenly and slowly, hands caking the mud by moving in small circular motions. He breathed out and wiped his hands on the grass beside the hole he was kneeling in front of. Reaching for a sprig of rosemary, he picked the branch clean before popping the rosemary into his mouth and chewing it into mush. Spitting the mush into the mud lined bowl, he dropped a leaf into the hole as well. Methodically, he began picking the flower petals off of the little daisy in a steady counterclockwise motion and grinding them up as much as he could between two rocks and scraping them into the concoction. He stirred the ingredients together using his pointer finger of his left hand and felt that it was right. Using two fingers of his right hand, he smeared the paste onto his black eye and the handprint bruises on his arms. When he returned home and his mother had him wash off the mud and dirt, the bruises were gone. 

Severus woke up to an owl holding a letter in his face. Since he had just woken up, he sat there staring at the owl wondering if he really had woken up. The owl shuffled a bit as if it were impatiently waiting and then dropped the letter on top of his head. Severus surprised that an owl just gave him a letter, squawked in surprise. He sat up and after another glance at the owl, began to inspect the letter.

Mr. Severus Snape

Under the eave

132 Bishopthorope Road

London, SY23 1EW

Severus jolted, looking around him uneasily. Who wrote this, and how did they know where he was living? He opened the letter with caution, every few seconds eyeing the owl who brought him this strange letter. The owl watched him with what seemed to be boredom and it began to preen itself seeming to not care for Severus’ suspicion. 

He looked down to read the letter, eyebrows only getting higher with each line. Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry? Diagon Alley? Platform 9 ¾? Someone was definitely taking the piss here at his expense. Who would believe such a story anyway? Severus dropped the letter and began to pack up his blankets and sleep stuffs when the owl pecked at him. 

“Ow! Bloody bird, what was that for?” He complained, shaking his hand off. The owl looked to him with a startling amount of intelligence and looked between the letter he had left on the ground and him. 

“What,” He snarked, “You want me to write a response or something?” The owl hopped closer and looked again from him to the letter and back. 

‘No bloody way’ Severus thought as he stared at the owl. Its eyes were trained on him and it wasn’t moving so he slowly moved to his pack to dig out any kind of paper to write a response to. He found a crumpled up takeout menu and a pen at the bottom of his bag and wrote:

'Dear Deputy Headmistress Minerva McGonagall,

Thank you for your letter of acceptance to your magic school. I politely decline your offer and thank you not to reach out to me again.

Sincerely,

Severus Snape.'

Severus finished the letter and folded up the paper to fit into the original envelope. He looked to the expectant owl and offered the envelope hesitantly and the bird snatched the paper up in its beak and flew off without a moment’s delay. 

He watched the bird fly off for a moment, then shook his head and continued to pack his things. He would have to move if some random prankster knew his name and where he lived. He thought that this place was pretty well hidden, but not if someone trained an owl to prank him.

He pulled out his map and began planning to search for another shelter after breakfast.

Chapter Text

Severus cursed himself blue. Not literally of course because that wasn’t possible, but he bloody well could have with how angry he was! Just over a year, he had been free of adults, being careful to not be seen in the same areas and in the same stores! Over a year he has been taking care of himself and everything was fine, but he botched it up! The shelter called the police on him because they saw him one too many times when he came in to get a shower. His luck must have run dry because the coppers actually found him. They knew his first name too because the damnable shelter worker had just seemed so nice and had struck up a conversation with him, had even given him some freshly baked biscuits. He saw them on the phone and overheard them reporting him and he ran, not even trying to snatch the rest of the lunch the worker had left out for him.

He thought that the sewer drain was a very good hiding spot but he must have made too much noise or wasn’t as well hidden as he had thought because one moment he was listening quietly for the two men’s boots to go tromping in the other direction and the next moment they reached into the drain and plucked him out like he was a kitten; kicking and scratching all the while. Damn it all! He refused to live with Tobias! Even if his mother lived there, he refused to stay put!

The time he spent in London away from that house was some of the best in his life! Sure, he had to provide and worry about food and money. Yeah, he had to learn which people to avoid, like the man who lurked around the streets at night who had an unnerving gleam in his eye when he saw kids. But it was still better than living in fear, in that suffocating hell hole, where you never knew if you were going to be smacked or beaten unconscious.

The police had put him in the back of their car and it must have been locked from the outside, damn them . They were driving the car while trying to get him to speak to them, asking what his name was, how old he was, why he was alone. They pretended that they cared so they could get all of his information from him! It never helped things anyway, they always told him how he should stop trying to get attention for getting punished. Would leave him and his mother to the cold eyes and hard fists of Tobias. 

He knew to never trust a copper. 

They stopped their attempts at conversation as the car slowed and pulled up to the station. He sneered at one police officer as he opened the door and reached for his arm. 

“Come on champ, let's get you inside.” The police officer said kindly. 

Severus knew he had no other choice with the grip the man had on his arm and went without fuss. 

Walking into the station he fixed the meanest glare he could onto his face and mentally dared anyone to talk to him. 

“Look at him Jones, he looks like a bloody angry kitten!” The police officer who had his arm remarked. Severus whipped his head up to shoot the officer with his glare only to see the officer already looking down at him, an amused smile on his face. 

“What’re you talkin’ about, the kid looks like a bird with that beak of a nose.” His partner remarked snidely and they began to bicker good-naturedly between themselves.

Severus clenched his teeth in anger but said nothing. Nothing good ever came from defending himself. 

He stays quiet as he’s led to a cluster of small wooden desks, trying to not let the officer’s comments and mundane chatter get too far under his skin. The copper who has him by the arm leads him to a chair beside the desk and sits him down. 

Severus tries to ignore the man next to him as he putters around the files on his desk eventually complaining about how the box computer was supposed to help them with the paperwork not hinder it. His partner picked up the conversation gleefully and the next few minutes were filled with their complaints and griping. A short woman wearing a white button-up shirt and a knee-length skirt approached the desk, her face not amused. 

“Jones, Habersworth, I found your kid’s family.” She slid the file onto the desk closer to where Severus sat.

He tensed when she looked over at him, her face filled with pity and something else, “Maybe,” she started slowly, “I should take the kid for a cuppa while you review his… case.” The two men glanced at each other then at the woman, it was silent for a moment as they made faces at each other.

 “Why don’t you do that Mary, just make sure he doesn’t run off.” He pointed a finger in warning at Severus who in turn scowled. He had every intention of trying to run off if he had a chance. The woman, Mary, went to grab his wrist and pulled him out of the chair gently. Severus eyed her and as she led him to a door, he glanced back at the file the two officers were opening. 

Something was happening and from the adults’ behavior around him, it wasn’t good.

Chapter Text

No living relatives to speak of. That is what the file said. His mother was strangled to death, Tobias was found in his bedroom dead from alcohol poisoning. Severus sneered, he hoped that man was tortured for eternity. He refused to cry for his mother, she had no reason to stay once Severus had run, her death… he took a deep breath and slowly let it out. Her death was on Tobias, but she should have left.

Why didn’t she-

It didn’t matter anyway. It was all said and done and wrapped in a pretty little bow.

The police officers had taken him to another office. The door had read “NSPCC Offices” and he let himself zone out as the adults began to talk, none of them seemed to care more than getting him out of their sight and off their minds. No matter, Severus was used to this behavior from adults now. Maybe once he had hoped for better, but he was smarter than to wish and hope for things that would just let him down in the long run.
At one point, they wanted to try and place him somewhere close to Cokeweorth. They even asked him if he wanted to stay close to his friends.
Severus thought about it but knew his answer immediately, he wanted away from that city, as far from Spinner’s End as he could get, he had no friends in that place. When he said as much, the woman at the desk, Ms. Sovin as the nameplate on the desk read, gained a pinched look on her face and made a few notes on the file in front of her.

In the end, they dropped him off at a newly minted foster care home in central London. He heard the officers talking to each other about how lucky he was that the last orphanage had closed a few years prior. He didn’t care, in his mind, the two were no different. Looking up at the house he straightened his clothes and hair as best he knew how and strode up to the front door with all the courage he could gather about himself. He would just see what it was like before leaving. At least then he would say that he looked at all the options presented to him.

Ringing the bell, he stepped back from the door and waited only fidgeting with his hands slightly. The door swung open loudly and a taller girl with curly brown hair stared down at him.

“What.”
Her voice did not let it be a question.

Severus eyed her critically, studying her hair and clothes. She seemed
well kept, clean, healthy even. But Severus didn't trust.
"I was brought here to ... "
He hesitated a moment, "inspect the living quarters." He finished boldly.

"Inspect the living quarters?"

The girl glanced him up and down face straight and not showing what she took of that.

"Yes!" Severus exclaimed,
"I was sent to inspect the living quarters, Is that a problem?"
He did his best to act aloof and in charge, sticking his nose up just a bit to feel a little taller and in charge.

The girl looked at him and smirked. "Which living quarters were you sent to inspect?" She asked, smiling at him.

He froze, not expecting to get this far. He puffed himself up and said, “Well, all of them of course!"

He watched as she smiled and said, "Even the girls' living quarters?"

Severus recoiled, "What? Why would I care about the girl's quarters ew!"

The girl smiled even wider and said, "You told me all quarters; How about the caretaker's quarters? Do you need to inspect them too?"

He considered this could help to make him look more official and also to see what kind of people that the officers were sending him to. But it would be a risk, in case any adult saw. He might've been able to fool this girl but people, OLDER people wouldn't be so gullible.

It wasn't worth the risk.

"No, I only want to inspect the boy's quarters." He sniffed self-importantly.

"Ah, and who are you to ask to inspect the quarters?" she asked him, that smile still on her face.

“An official!" Severus almost squeaked, face growing red he took a step back.
"If you insist on being difficult. I'll just take my leave then!"

The girl stopped smiling, "Wait!" She followed his step forward. "I didn't mean to make you upset, I just was having fun, please, come in and inspect
away."
She made a grand gesture with her arm inviting him in and after he looked closely at her face and decided she wasn't mocking him, he stepped tentatively inside.
"So, why are you really here? My name is Sarah by the way." She glanced at him in curiosity.

Severus hesitated in his answer, he couldn't just say that his fa- no, that Tobias murdered his mother could he? That- just seemed insensitive.
"Uhhh, I guess I just didn't have anyone else to live with."
Sarah sighed empathetically. "Well," she started, "We do have a lot of those here." she started walking and for lack of any idea what to do next, Severus followed her.

Chapter Text

Severus met the head of his foster home shortly after, Sarah leading him to a strict short woman who didn't hesitate to show him around. She showed Severus where his belongings were to stay and which bed was to be his.
Severus went along with it not expecting to stay longer than the night.

He met the few children living under Maria's roof. He met Sarah's sister Jenna, the two girls shared brown hair and dark brown eyes but Jenna smiled wider while Sarah was more solemn.

He met next a boy named Markus who had dark blonde hair cut short to his head, and an infant who had been abandoned at birth. He barely looked at little baby Cara because he felt both so jealous and pitiful towards her that he felt he might make a face.

He went through their day with them floating along unbelievingly at how peaceful their day was until they began night preparations.
The tv turned off, and toys were put away, each child (except baby Cara) went up to Ms. Maria to hug or kiss her goodnight. Severus stayed back, far in the corner of the room so that he might not be forced to bid goodnight to someone he hardly knew.

Thankfully, Ms. Maria seemed aware of his desires so he did not have to make a scene as she gave him a kindly smile and a wave on her departure from the room. Severus waited till the night was deep and even moving seemed like a chore. Then he slipped off his appointed bed to gather his things.

His thoughts were so focused on his not waking Markus from his slumber that as he snuck down the halls of the house he failed to notice Ms. Maria sipping tea with a low light lamp.

"Severus? Are you leaving so soon?" Severus was startled, almost dropping his bag onto the floor.
"Ms. Maria! " Severus whispered, "What are you doing awake? I thought-"

"You thought you would be able to silently leave in the night and never be found by us or the police again, correct?"

"Yes!” Severus was so at a loss of what to do in that situation that he almost stomped his foot. "You aren't supposed to be awake now and I'm supposed to be able to leave without waking you up."

Ms. Maria sat there with her soft eyes and strict face and let Severus go on. She smiled a bit and eventually asked why he wanted to leave.

"Why wouldn't I want to leave?" Severus asked her suspiciously as he came closer to the dining table she was seated at.

"Why would you? You can be fed here, have a safe home, and other children around your age that you might befriend." She leaned over to look Severus in the eye.
"What are you afraid of Severus?"

Severus had had enough, he wasn't dumb; he had survived all this time on his own hadn't he? No help from his mother or any teachers. Not from those police officers or that lady Ms. Sovin from the offices. No one helped him he helped HIMSELF, and now Ms. Maria was asking him what he was scared of??

"I'm not scared." He forcefully bit out, "I'm smart. I don't rely on people because they disappoint me. I don't NEED you: And I don't need children my age. of Who needs friends?" Severus spat. "Friends never wanted ME. I take care of myself!”

Ms. Maria smiled sadly and asked, "Did it ever occur to you that you shouldn't have to be the only one looking out for you?"

Severus sneered at her, "Oh sure, just let you take control over me? I'm not an idiot." He turned away to look longingly at the door.
"Severus, you poor child. I'm not asking for control over you or anything you own. I want you to be in a safe environment, I want you away from drugs and dangerous people.”
"So you are one of those 'safe people?" Severus turned around to see Ms. Maria holding a cup of tea out to him.

"I don't make the best tea, but I still enjoy a hot drink late at night as it helps my weary old body relax." She sat back in her chair giving the boy a moment to decide what he wanted to do.

Severus gave Ms. Maria one more suspicious glance before sitting down and taking the offered cup. Sipping from it he grimaced hard,
“Uegh,”

The bitter tea leaves coated his tongue.

"Not too good then I assume?" Severus blushed as he realized that he didn't hide his expression at all to avoid making her upset.

"No, no I know just how bad my tea brewing skills are, I never have been able to fix a good cup of tea, though I do love an occasional strong brew."

Severus set the cup down and wondered how someone went their entire lives never brewing a good cup of tea. Especially if they were OLD. That meant a whole life of badly tasting tea.

"Give us a chance." Ms. Maria interrupted his inner thoughts of bad tea, "If you don't enjoy living here, let me help you get set up in a safe environment. It hurts to think of you cold and alone out in this large city. You never might know what will happen." She looked at her hands.

"Just give us a chance first before you take off."

Severus felt his throat become itchy and tight with tears that wanted to fall. He refused to let them. He wasn't a child, except the parts where he ... was. Maybe she had a point, maybe he could just try? If it was bad he would leave. Just like he left Tobias and his mother.

It wouldn't be fun if Ms. Maria turned out to be lying but he would take care of himself and survive however he must ..

"Okay," He said, voice small. "A chance." He couldn't look up, too embarrassed by the state of his face.
"Thank you, Severus." Ms. Maria said, voice incredibly soft. "I will do right by you. "

Chapter Text

Severus expected to try out his new living spaces for a few days until he saw Ms. Maria's patience snap and for her to reach out and slap one of the children in her care, but that didn't happen.

He stayed for a week, distant and suspicious. A week turned into two, then three. His suspicion turned into almost spite as still Ms. Maria kept her demeanor and disciplined all the children, including Severus fairly.

He was certain if she was pushed too far, that she would hurt one of them.
So he began to test her.

And by testing, he meant breaking things. Refusing to listen to her requests, being downright awful to Markus and Sarah at times for good measure. He was absolutely sure that Ms. Maria was fully able and willing to treat him the way every adult had ever treated him, all he had to do was make her upset enough.

His fellow children had enough of him over time but Ms. Maria refused to raise a hand to him. More than once overhearing late-night conversations between Ms. Maria and Sarah or Markus (sometimes both of them) calming them down and explaining why she wasn't forcing him to leave her home.

 "He is afraid, Sarah, Markus. He thinks that I will hurt him if he acts out around us." Severus listened behind the cracked door one night, "If he is so afraid, why does he keep on doing these things?" Sarah complained, pouting. 

"I can give him a good old hit if that's what he wants," Markus added, his voice upset. 

Severus squirmed thinking of his favorite book that Severus had torn apart the night before and left on Markus' nightstand.

"No Markus, none of that now." Ms. Maria scolded severely,
"If we hurt him, he will run. Then he will have no one at all to protect him."

Sarah huffed and stated, "If he is so afraid of getting hurt, you'd think he wouldn't do things that might make someone hit him."

Ms Maria gave a sigh, "Children, I would never harm you, or any child. But poor Severus, it seems he has lived a life full of pain already even for one so young. I can only assume he wants to know how much pain I am willing to cause him. "

The sound of her moving around her bedroom wafted out of the crack in the door and Severus stilled, listening hard to see if he needed to run. The movement died down and he heard Sarah and Markus discussing quietly what Ms. Maria had said.

"Imagine, Ms. Maria ever hurting us:"

"I don't see why anyone wants someone to hurt them?"

"He could at least stop being mean to US!!”

Severus had left then, feeling a thick throat and an unwillingness to listen. They didn't have to understand his reasoning, but he was sure of it. Ms. Maria was able to hurt him. He just knew it.
His convictions lasted more weeks though he made sure to tone down his actions towards the other children. He hadn't meant to be so cruel to them; he’d only meant to bring out Ms. Maria’s hurtful nature. With the new goal of not affecting the other children, it was more difficult to get on her nerves he noticed right away.

She wouldn’t get upset when he dropped and shattered plates and she wouldn’t even raise her voice if he refused to get out of bed. She never laid hands on him or refused to feed him once. Severus ended up at a standstill. By the time he’d run out of ideas, he had lived with Ms. Maria and the other children for over 4 months.

One night just like any other, Severus woke up. Sweat soaked into his face and his sheets tangled around his legs. He fought his way out from under the covers silently and stood to leave the room.

A growing feeling of something being wrong flooded through him. The house was quiet and dark, as it should have been for how late at night (or was it early?) it was. He hesitated leaving the room, his hand on the doorknob, knowing he could go back to his bed and sleep but he decided to quietly leave the room.
Something was wrong and he knew it. He couldn’t just lay in bed and ignore his gut. Nothing good had ever come from that in the past. Not with Tobias and his mother, and not during his time in London. Looking down the short hallway he let his gut lead him to the stairs and then down them.

His footsteps padded near silently down the steps. One by one, and he barely glanced at the dark kitchen. His gut drew him farther away from the stairs, that isn’t where he needed to be. Further, he walked into the living room, this was it. Something was wrong. 

Severus looked to where Ms. Maria was asleep on the couch, a cup of tea on the coffee table next to her, and baby Cara asleep in her lap. Severus felt like he was floating but the gut feeling that there was something wrong weighed him down like a stone. 
He kept walking, steps soft, but he wanted to go away. His face felt cold and the silence was deafening, his ears were roaring. There were a few spots of light where the street lamps made it into the windows. His tongue was numb, lips prickling with pain. He wasn’t breathing.

Cara was lying there so quiet and still. Severus couldn’t look away because something was wrong. Her lips were blue.

“Baby Cara?” Sev whispered, reaching a hand out. His face was tingling, eyes filling with tears. “You need to wake up,” he insisted. 
She lay still. 

Severus finally touched her skin, cold. His hand slid under her arm to reach her back. The stone in his gut was so heavy he began to sink to his knees. She was so cold, but that was wrong. She needed to wake up and move around. That would warm her up. 
He didn’t know much about child care but a baby shouldn’t be this cold. He stooped in, not thinking about Ms. Maria, who was sleeping on the couch, picked up baby Cara and held her still form close to his chest. His tongue was still numb.

She needed to open her eyes, blue lips weren't good for a baby. 

“Baby Cara, wake up!” A hand under her head supporting her weight, the other holding her legs and butt. “Wake up! You can’t be asleep right now. It's wrong, something is wrong baby Cara, Wake Up!”
Severus was shaking but he felt a twist in his gut, a rightness where the wrong had laid before. Baby Cara’s chest rose suddenly and her lips gained a more natural hue. She was breathing, nothing was wrong anymore.

Severus remembered how his mother used to tell him stories of how she watched his chest as an infant because it was a possibility for babies to suddenly stop breathing and knew he wasn’t going to let little Cara out of his sight for the rest of the night.

Chapter Text

Maria woke suddenly, the light of early morning shone through the windows of her living room. Not the best night of sleep that she had ever had but some was better than none in her opinion. She stirred, stretching to prepare herself for the day; she sleepily mused what her day might have in store for her.

  The girls, wildly different in their interests, would undoubtedly spend most of the day apart only to reconvene at dinner to spend the rest of the evening together. Jenna reading in the quiet space of her room or the kitchen where the windows pointed to the yard and the growing cold. 

Sara would most likely spend her day trouble making with Markus. Maria smiled fondly, sparing a thought to hoping that the two would leave Severus in peace as he adjusted to living in such a home as theirs.

As little Cara would spend most of her day with Maria, only leaving for naps and to play with the other children of course. 

Maria went to pick Cara off of her lap where she found an emptiness that brought her to full alert.

Had she fallen? Where might an infant roam? Was she hurt? Maria got up, feeling ice in her veins. What would she do if her child was hurt during the night while she slept.
Ms Maria sat up quickly, fear giving her the speed that she would otherwise lacked this early in the morning.

 “Cara?” She called, keeping her voice soft so as to not wake any of the other children.

Walking as calmly as she could, she began to look under furniture when she heard a soft giggle coming from the kitchen. Relaxing slightly as she heard Cara’s voice she walked to the kitchen door, only to see a sight that gave her pause.

Young Severus stirring a pot while holding baby Cara on his hip. His face not quite hidden by his hair, smile small but there as he whispered to Cara. Her small hands reaching for his strands of hair and her sweet smile putting an ease to Ms Maria’s heart. For a moment she had worried… no, Cara was safe and full of life. It was only the dregs of her dreams that gave her worries.

Softly she cleared her throat to announce her presence to young Severus. He turned to look at her, giving a small unsure smile. 

“I hope,” He began, “I hoped to make amends by helping in the house. I know how to cook.”

“Ms Maria…?” came the soft voice of Jenna.

The three of them turned around to see the other children of the house huddled confused and staring at the sight of Severus gently and expertly holding Cara, careful to keep her from the steam. 

Severus, after visibly swallowing down the beginnings of a sneer spoke quietly,

“Breakfast will be ready soon. Please get ready.” 

Turning away from them, he let his hair fall back into his face hoping that only Cara was able to see what must have been a bright red flush. 

He… might not hate this place after all. Maybe.

Chapter Text

Years passed and Severus became a teenager. He went through periods of hating everyone and spent his time alone. His… friends… would come and bother him sometimes. Cara was the only one he really didn’t mind; sitting near or on him and making her soft babbles or reaching up to grab at his hair. Sometimes he would admit he… cared for her. Ugh.

He found that the constant actions and needs of the garden were very soothing to him, almost in a meditative like mental state, his hands would move and the flowers grew under his (strict but fair) guidance. He didn’t need any dudderheaded sunflowers, though Cara liked to walk through them so… he kept them. Cauliflower and spinach, roses and mushrooms, dreaded sunflowers and poppies. He grew as much as he could of whatever seeds he could get a hold of. 

Ms Maria was happy he could tell with the life in the garden, she had once told him how she never had time to tend to it.

Jenna liked to sit near him and read, he wasn’t sure how he felt about her but she was quiet as he foraged in the gardens and would take walks with him when he had a niggling feeling that something was important. He would sometimes drop what he was doing, dirt falling from his hands and walk in a direction knowing that there was something not right (silly feelings) and when he had moved the empty child’s play cars out of the road or reached up on his tiptoes to right a pot teetering at the edge of the windowsill he would sigh and blink the feeling out of his face and Jenna would be right there with him. Watching silently, they would make eye contact then silently walk back to the house, neither of them bringing it up. It was nothing after all, just silly childishness.

Sarah was as loud and mischievous as ever though, with Markus not far behind. Always ready to cause trouble or bother Severus and Jenna into playing a new game. Cara loved them and so Severus had no choice but to leave them be. Children need other children after all. Those two seemed more like siblings than the two sisters did. Something Severus became curious about.

“Jenna.” He spoke quietly one day while sorting his garden, plucking weeds out of the ground quickly and efficiently. 

"Severus.” Jenna replied, sketching something in her practice book.

“Why do you not hang out with Sarah? Do you not prefer to have her with you? Instead of…. Markus… at her side?” He was sweating, the hot sun on his black shirt and the apron he wore for gardening protecting him from the dirt was damp.

Jenna stood up behind him and he heard her come close.

 “Severus,” She said putting her hand on his arm,

 “Sarah likes to do things that I don’t, and finds the things that I like to be deadly boring. It’s okay for her to be with Markus more because we are happier this way.” 

She stopped speaking and he wondered about that idea. 

“No!” He shook his head, “it doesn’t make sense!” His face was flushed and he knew if he turned she would see it.

“If she is fine leaving you just for someone who ISN’T her family, then how can you trust her, or care for her!” 

He was working himself up but he didn’t care, “How could she leave you behind? Doesn’t she know how mean that is? Or do you not care for her after all!” 

Jenna was silent and Severus wondered if he was right after all. But he heard her soft giggles and he turned quickly knowing his face was red but hoping his unpleasant expression covered his embarrassment.

“What are your unpleasant noises? Calm yourself and pull it together Jenna!”

He scolded her, internally cringing (Calm yourself? For all the world Sev-) but doing his best to keep his face twisted in an ugly sneer.

 “Honestly this is why I don’t talk to you. You don’t make any sense.”

Jenna stopped giggling and feeling like he at least accomplished that he turned back to his garden. Starting badly when Jenna slapped the back of his head. Hard. 

“Oi! What the bloody fu- hell!” He gripped his head where she assaulted him and turned to her. Her face still lit up in amusement.

“Severus you big dramatic doofus!” Jenna laughed, “Unpleasant noises!” She exclaimed in glee.

“Oh, just shut up! You’re the big doofus Jenna!” Severus’ face felt like it was melting off his skin. 

“Severus!” Came the cry of his salvation. Little Cara now able to toddle her little legs along came running out of the front door to greet him. She stopped at the top of the stairs and began to climb down them using her hands for stability. Severus was not charmed and he didn’t at all light up at the sight of her.

“Cara, take care on the stairs! Don’t go too quickly!” He stood and walked over to her to make sure she wouldn’t fall. He graciously let Cara hold onto his hand as she toddled on the stairs, strictly not sighing in relief once he had a good hold on her hand.

Jenna sat there with a small smile on her face as she watched them walking back to where she sat trying her hardest not to coo at them. Honestly Severus acted like he hated them all and always sneered but his acting wasn’t the best and she could see through it.

He couldn’t even be his usual self around Cara as he “didn’t at all” care for her but god forbid he make her cry.

“Severus,” she started with a thoughtful face, “When Cara grows older and if she decides to start a sport, would you drop everything important to you to live that way just for her?”

Severus side eyes Jenna and retorts “She would never, Cara is too smart to do that.”

Jenna snorts and says, “You know what a hypothetical is don’t you?”

Another Servus grade sneer but he stays silent for a moment. “I… suppose that I would help her however I am able.” 

Jenna leans forward and says, but would you give up doing what you like? Gardening and making those weird drinks and reading and-“

“If I had to I might!” Severus interrupts.

Jenna pushes for more, “But would you be happy? Or, do you think Little Cara would be happy knowing you had more fun doing other things and watching you force yourself to do the things she loves?” She leans back a little, “I think that would be unfair to the both of you.”

Severus stays silent and watches as Little Cara rolls around in the grass giggling. Jenna assumes the conversation is over so she goes back to her art. She gets started on the shading and nearly jumps when she hears his quiet, 

“Point taken.”

She doesn’t look up or really even acknowledge that he spoke besides a small bob of her head, but they both understand each other a little better. 

________*________*________

Severus had quietly taken over the cooking for the house. Not really on purpose and he pointedly refused to bake the bread as he would burn it to death; but cooking was his forte. He liked it and knew how to make it taste good. 

Luckily he also knew how to make tinctures that his mother had shown him when she… was still alive. Things for small scrapes both to encourage healing and to help disinfect the wound. 

Some things he planted in the gardens were meant to be grown and cut by his own hand.

 His mother had always stressed that the more care he put into his plants, the more effective it would work and his mother Never lied to him. Except about his father. He knew now that she understood and knew that Tobias was evil and would hurt her for his enjoyment. But she had always told him that Tobias was a good man, that he took care of them, that he cared for them.

Foolishly he believed her about everything so realizing that she had lied to him about the dangers of Tobias, he wondered what else she had lied to him about. One time he even went to the grocery store and bought plain herbs that he needed but the second he tried to combine them, it was like something deep inside told him that the mixture would not be effective. 

So he at least knew that she hadn’t lied about that. He even went out to the library to copy pages of herbal tinctures to get more recipes and take note of the different properties of the plants and to see what else he could mix.

He had surprised Ms Maria when she had been feeling under the weather he had ended up brewing a soup like drink to help her; gladdened that he had a mandrake plant old enough to have good sized roots, along with ginger and other ingredients like honey to soften the earthy taste. 

As he stirred over the stove, he felt a bright ping of warmth from inside just knowing that this would help her. He hid his smile with his hair and breathed in the steam to make sure he didn’t boil the roots too much. 

He knew his medicine would be bitter and surprised he watched as she drank it quickly, not even hesitating once he handed it to her. She noticed his expression and smiled kindly.

“I have a feeling that you know your way around the kitchens young man; and even if this doesn’t work, I feel better just knowing you meant to help me!”

He tried to keep a calm face but felt his ears burning like mad. Severus dipped his head down to try and hide the ugly flush he knew was blotching across his face and he reached out for the cup.

“I know this will help you, my mother taught me this one herself, she said it would be sure to pepper up anyone who was sick.” He mumbled quietly.

He wasn’t at all surprised to see Ms Maria up and feeling better very shortly afterwards.

Chapter Text

Severus could feel sweat running down his neck. Never, not once had he wanted something for his own so badly. 

Who cared about wanting that train set his mother couldn’t afford when he was five, or that one shovel that he knew- just knew - would make his planting so much faster but Ms Maria said no because it was made with a silver handle and glass blade and for one it was expensive and for two she thought it might break, and why would you want a glass gardening tool Sev when we have plenty of metal gardening tools back at home-

No, this time was different! Even though that shovel was so worth it; this is what he knew he wanted. Needed, He was made for this he knew it!

Severus wiped his hands on his dark toned jeans and nervously walked through the door.

The try-outs for Phantom of the Opera were taking place, the theater club rushing frantically around as Mrs Hernandez ran the tryouts. Severus took a breath in and walked up to the table surrounded by students of the club, barely managing a tilt of his lips when they called greetings out to him.

“You got this Sev!”

“Phantom is yours!” 

“Don’t be so nervous!” 

“Hey Sev, do you need a banana?” A few students called out to him. 

“No, thank you.” He replies faintly; holding up a small vial of murky green liquid he swirls it and says, “I made myself a home remedy to stay calm. Would anyone like to try it? It’s enough for just two doses.”

 A few students step back nervously and one brave girl with brown hair cut into a bob swallows hard but nods and declares, “If you drink it in front of me then I’ll drink it too.”

Sev smiles and nods, appreciating her need for a calm state. Moving confidently, he opens the vial and downs half of it, not grimacing at the earthy tone and the small bite of ginger. When the girl is satisfied that he drank it, she holds an expectant hand out and downs the liquid herself, only sticking her tongue out in a manner true to those unused to Severus’ home remedies.

“It tastes like ass but it’ll work, that I can promise.” Sev comments to the girl.

She smiles through her grimace and wishes him luck. Ann, he thought he remembered her name.

*~~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

His time drew near, Sev felt it, his name to be called. It was an important thing in the theater club for first time auditioners to be sat down and told their first role in front of the entire club. 

Had his audition gone well? He knew his voice might not have gotten low enough at some points but his acting was there! And vocal practice is all just a part of the stage so that shouldn’t hold him back. He could hold a pitch and had power behind his voice.

“Severus, dear?”

He looked up, the chair sat on stage. The teacher right next to it. 

He walked slowly to his fate, the sounds of his footfalls soft on the brownish-orange carpet. 

He sat. 

His role, his place, what would he be?

The teacher looked at her list, a slight smile showing her amusement.

Severus gulped.

“Your part my dear, is Prima Donna.”

*~~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

“I knew you had it in you, Severus!” Exclaimed Ms Hernandez, still glowing with the pride of a successful closing night and theater season. 

“You truly gave your all and I could not be more dazzled by your masterful performance!” She continued to gush, “Dear, I dare say I might try to go for a more demanding play next season!”

Severus, who was feeling the rush of coming out of a role he had been so enjoying, flushed in happiness. Sure, he knew that he was good but it was always a pleasant feeling when he was told outright how much he was adored.

“Not only did you give yourself to the role; you also helped with our Phantom’s stage fright! An all natural and homemade calming drink. Who’d have known you possessed so many skills!”

Sure enough, after casting, Ann attributed her leading role of Christine all to the calming effects of his brew. After the Phantom was casted- a boy named Charles- and was found to have a great talent for singing but a paralyzing amount of stage fright; Ann asked Severus to help him. Severus really didn’t want to attribute the success of their season off of his brew, but honestly, he had made a huge contribution. Seeing as Charles would croak like a bullfrog anytime the stage lights would focus on him.

 …He also loved it when people paid him his due compliments. 

*~~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

“Severus! Sev! You said that we could come to see your show this year! You promised!” Cara reminded earnestly, “You can’t break promises or you’ll turn into a real bat! You hear me? A bat!” 

Her wide eyes looked at him as he ground yarrow in his pistle, the flowers and leaves slowly breaking down into a paste.

“Cara, don’t give me those eyes. I’m not even sure why you’d want to go see our rendition of Les Mis, it's not very age appropriate- wait! My paste is almost done! Don’t get up yet, I don’t want you to get an infection!” He interrupted himself.

Cara sat back down in a huff.

“I think it's less of our baby wanting to go see a tragedy and more of her wanting to see her big brother on the stage in his element.” Jenna cut in lightly, “After all, you are the main protagonist, and I for one can’t wait to see our dramatic little brother acting the tragic and handsome father role!”

“Tragic, tragic!” Cara cheered.

Severus somehow found it in him to blush, roll his eyes, and smile. Honestly these two.

“Fine! If it makes you that happy then you may come to see our performance!” He paused while Cara celebrated her win with Jenna. “Don’t come crying to me if the plot makes you sad!” He shook his head, charmed once again by his sisters.

*~~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

Severus knew that he could do better. 

Sweat dripped down his face, his hair already tied back. 

Turn, sway, flick his wrist, drop to the ground! Faster! Spin to standing! Pas de Chat, crouch and up! Again! Pas de Chat, kick! Hit the beat, make it crisp, more fluid. Emotional but not out of control. 

He paused the record and drank some water, the egg timer still clicking away telling him he had another two and a half minutes left till he needed to add chopped lavender into his mixture. The brew boiling away on the kitchen stove happily gave no sign of needing to be stirred and he felt in his bones that it was doing well. 

He let his hair down and wiped his face with a cloth, knowing that he needed to prepare himself for the next few steps of his muscle pain reliever. With all of the theater club in mild pain due to the intense choreography, he wanted to surprise his club with some relief.

Smiling, he took in hand the small bowl filled with the diced lavender stocks and readied his hands. He slipped into his happy space as he began the finishing steps of his brew. 

The warmth- in the center of his navel today- happily glowing and giving him the knowledge that this was a good batch. 

*~~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

He felt a little sad, knowing he was going to go to a cold dorm room instead of staying at the house he spent so many years in.

Severus was spending his last few months at home, helping with the housework and stocking up on all the brews, politics, pastes, and oils that he could possibly think of. Cara was a morose eight and a half year old. Laying on the floor of the living room and acting like Severus was dying instead of moving out.

Jenna, the rascal that she was, was only making things worse as she teased them both. He was honestly happy to see her again as she had just recently moved out of the house after getting herself a fancy job at the library. She insisted that she didn’t want to burden Ms Maria with the funds of feeding another mouth but Sev thought she just wanted more privacy for her dates. 

Sarah and Markus both had decided a year prior to apply to the police station and were making good money there. They weren’t around as often though as it seemed that life was full of working over time. Severus felt bad, not wanting Cara to be the only one in the house. But Ms Maria had encouraged him to give living in the college dorms a try.

“You deserve to get the full experience Sev, darling. I won’t push you either way but don’t stick around here just for my or Cara’s sake! Just be sure to visit us when you have the time!” She had told him gently while patting his cheek.

So, off he planned to go. It’d be a few parties maybe, lots of acting in a troup, and some homework that he wasn’t intimidated at all by. 

Nothing of note would happen during college, and then he’d come back and help Ms Maria with the house and Cara.

Severus pretended the warmth he felt inside of him was not buzzing in anticipation.

Chapter Text

Now, in the time of living in a house with a bunch of kids, sometimes he knew that weird things did happen. Like the time when Cara was a toddler and he had known she was getting into trouble from two rooms away and had come barreling into the room to catch her just before she put a pair of sharp sewing scissors into her mouth. 

Or when Severus had been practicing how to dance the grapevine on his way home from school. He had tangled his feet up so badly that he took a fall straight into the busy intersection. For a heart stopping moment he had looked up to see a car tire heading straight to his face, he blinked and without even time to shout or tense up; He was sitting on the other side of the street. Safe and sound on the sidewalk.

There are only so many moments of weird things happening before a person has to accept that they just… have a very insane amount of luck. 

Severus contemplated the weird happenings of his essay, of which he totally forgot to finish writing the night prior, and it's fully completed, neatly stacked self. He looked at the pages filled with very-much-his-handwriting and pursed his lips. He usually just thought, “Huh, that's weird.” and just left it at that. After all, it’s not like there were really fairies and angels watching his every move, waiting for the perfect moment to help. It couldn’t be that he suddenly had magic of all things either, so how would he even try to explain the little happenings around him?

Severus shrugged to himself. Nothing of these weird moments had ever harmed him before, so he felt relatively safe with the thought of leaving it alone; after all who would even believe him if he claimed that weird and special things only happened to him. He was more than content to let the strange happening alone as long as they didn’t inconvenience him, his acting, or his brewing. 

The latter was surprisingly turning into a side business with his faithful customers being his fellow students. He found that the Concentration Chews and his Hangover Shots were some of the most highly sought after home remedies on campus. It, for a short moment, had been a point of concern for the Chancellor and the rest of the College Board and they had asked him to bring in his concoctions to check and be sure they were not harmful or addictive to be sure that Severus was not staining the reputation of their name. 

Of course, they had found no harmful substances in it at all; natural ingredients mostly grown by Sev himself. Severus had even brewed one of each of his inventory in front of the Board to prove there was no funny business going on behind their backs. To go even further in proving he had no ill will, Severus had agreed to give his recipes over to the Chancellor and let him do what he would with them. 

They had attempted to make their own versions, with varying results. The final decision had come to the facts that, while he possessed a very surprising skill, Severus was indeed, not trying to become a drug dealer, thank you very much. With the case closed and all suspicions cast aside, even more students flocked to him for his only natural and very effective products. From the hippies to the jocks, everyone had a need of some sort. 

While Severus kept mostly above board, there were always a shadier sort for those who went looking. Pastes that could imitate the effects of certain mushrooms for one; powders that could be mixed into drinks and help one with their stamina in both bed or on a track. Severus kept his loyal clientele happy and they in turn kept coming back. They knew if word went around, he would immediately cut them out so they kept their mouths shut and their money out. 

Severus had no want to be expelled and he knew that the darker parts of what he sold would at the very least get him into heavy disciplinary actions.

Severus went through his day as he normally did now, History of Creative Movements at eight in the morning, then, a quick run to Dean Bascher’s dorm to drop off his order of Concentration Chews and Sleepy Time Slurps. Poor man was terrified of never finishing his dissertation and had taken to needing the Slurps to counteract taking too many Chews at once. Severus had already given up on trying to convince Dean that the Chews didn’t need to be doubled up on, but at least they weren’t addictive. 

After finishing his order drop-off, He headed to the study hall until one o’ clock where he would meet with his acting troupe and they would begin to focus on choreography for this year's Sweeney Todd. Severus in the role of the Demon Barber himself. When he was casted he worried he wouldn’t be able to hit the heights of dramatic angst that the character had needed from him, but his fellow actors and the director herself all agreed that he could do it. 

Bolstered and touched by the support he received on all sides, he began to practice dramaticing his every movement, from dressing to flipping a page in his book. He felt that in his soul, he wasn’t prepared for such a heavy hearted man, such a rather dramatic man, such a willful and angry man, to be brought out yet. 

His body would be too tame to fully render to life a man who lost the woman he loved, stolen away by another man. Who was blamed for some terrible crime, and only wanting to live with a woman he gave his all too. Who had been tricked and manipulated by a horrid and immoral villain, unable to recognize the woman he loved in the face of her child. A man who was doomed to a life of bitter destruction as he attempted to take everything and everyone down with him.  

Severus could never imagine bringing that sort of a man to life.

But! Nevertheless, he had to try! If only for the utter belief his troupe had in him, He could do this, if his fellow actors could be trusted… Only he could do this role justice.

Severus flipped his black hair back with flair. With it being stubbornly straight and only the length of his chin, it immediately slid back to where it was prior. With a heavy hearted sigh, Severus tucked the lock behind his ear. His hair was against his acting, it seemed.

After his rehearsal, Severus walked slowly back to his dorm, pensive after hearing one of his fellow actors and a friend was attacked earlier that day. Shelly had been brought to the hospital but she probably wouldn’t regain full use of one of her legs they had been told. Police were, obviously, investigating but it was looking to be another one of the random attacks that had been going around London for the past year or so. 

At first, it’d seemed so random that the newspapers thought they were unrelated. Just another rise in crime rates in the big city innit? It seemed there was some sort of connection found somehow because suddenly the newspapers were now muttering about it possibly being an uprising gang or even terrorists. 

This was worrying. 

Severus worried for Ms Maria, and Cara, because whole families had been found dead in their homes with no signs of break ins. He worried for Jenna who lived on her own and had to take the bus every day to work because she hadn’t saved enough for a car yet. He worried for Sarah and Markus because they were both on the streets looking all copper-like in their uniforms and could get attacked by anyone. Would any of the gang or terrorists or whoever they were go after his family?

Nonsense! Severus shook his head trying to clear it. It wouldn’t, no, couldn’t happen to him and his family! The terrorists, or gangs, or bloody serial killers, had no idea who he or his family was. They were quiet and good, and didn’t know anybody at all who would bring a target onto their heads. 

He didn’t even know anybody who would be connected to the undergrou-

“Shit!”

Severus had walked right into, and then toppled over, a person!

“Fuck, shit! You alright mate?” He sat up making sure he wasn’t hurt from the fall. 

He looked up at the person who’d decided sitting on the ground in the middle of a sidewalk was an appropriate thing to do. The man’s pale face sported high cheekbones, intelligent grey eyes, and some very attractive lips. Upon first look, Severus knew that this sidewalk sloucher came from some serious money. It was both in the way he held his body and in the black seemingly silk …bathrobes that he wore. His nose was even the textbook aristocratic shape of all things, a little upturned and everything.

It was silent for a moment, Sev waiting for a response, or for anything really- was he on drugs?- when the man across from him took in a deep shuddering breath, and promptly burst into tears.

Chapter Text

Walking a strange, grown man to his own dorm room while said man sporadically burst into tears was a surprisingly difficult task. The man couldn’t seem to stay on the sidewalk and, multiple times, Severus had to grab the man’s arm to keep him from becoming a very fancy and tearful version of roadkill.

It took them ages, all the while Severus repeatedly cursed his own softheartedness, but, eventually they did make it to Severus' dorm.

”Oh for fuck’s sake.” Sev muttered under his breath. The man had taken one look at the room and burst into another set of tears. 

“Aren’t you tired of crying yet? I don’t even know why you’re crying anymore.” Severus opened his fridge and took a calming tonic out. “Drink this and then tell me… something, honestly anything.”

The man’s tears cut short as he opened the bottle of tonic.

”You… made this?” He asked softly, looking up at Severus with meaning.

”Well, yeah. The acting club will go wild when it comes to performance week, and I am not about to sit and listen to Mary-Sue Smittling weeping about having a fight with her boyfriend because she was stressed out.” Severus rolled his eyes. Honestly the drama club might as well be junkies with how much they used his tonics.

”You give this to Muggles ?!” The man exclaimed horror plain on his face. “What will you do if you get caught?! How could you even be so reckless? Why would you even stoop to give Muggles anything ?”

Severus snatched the bottle out of the man’s hand and upended it into the man’s surprised mouth. It was either that, or to smack the man proper, to get some sense into his head.

The man sputtered and coughed a bit, finally quiet and Severus, after making sure the man wasn’t in actual danger, responded very maturely.

”Listen you arsehole, report me to the college board all you’d like. I’ll even give you my name, Severus Sanpe, if you please! I’ve been given the green light to distribute my brews to the students. Do you hear me? They already know! Also, why are you wearing a bathrobe, I can see the money dripping off of you. What, did you take a little pill and get freaked out by the high? Utter fool!” Severus trailed off pacing as he contemplated what the shocked man in the corner might have taken.

”My tonic doesn’t have anything to react badly to the most popular drugs a toff like you would have access too.” Severus turned on the pale man abruptly,

”What is your name? What did you take? Who was your dealer?”

Severus threw some questions the man’s way as he sat him down on his small couch and bustled to the sink to get some water. The man who had been sputtering about getting man handled got quiet and blushed, his face turning a beet red.

”My manners! Oh forgive me, my name is Regulus Black and I am the second son to The Noble and Most Ancient House of Black.” With that fancy introduction, Regulus stood and gave a short bow.

Severus stared for a second, silenced at the pure money in every move, then shook himself. 

“And?” He demanded.

Regulus blinked, confused it seemed. Whatever he was on must be taking him on a wild ride, Severus thought.

”Out with it, man! What did you take? Who was the dealer? I can’t help you if you don’t tell me what it was. It might be laced with something dangerous!”

”Taken? Like what you just made me take?” The poor man must be an idiot, Severus felt a vein popping.

”No,” he said with the last of his patience, “Not the very safe and college board approved tonic for calming. The drugs that left you to be sobbing in the MIDDLE OF THE SIDEWALK YOU BLOODY MINTED IDIOT!!!” Needless to say, Severus lost his ability to stay cool.

”Drugs?!” Regulus looked properly offended, “Is that some sort of muggle thing? A food perhaps? I proudly take no part in those foolish muggles.” He glanced at Severus’ face for the briefest of moments before adding, “Dirty things, I wouldn’t even talk to one.” 

Severus once more felt the vein throbbing, his pulse raging in his neck he turned away to calm down.

”If I am to understand you correctly, you claim to not be high as balls.” Practicing his deep breathing Severus continued. “I haven’t the slightest what a muggle is, but I am inferring that you are talking about some type of people?”

Regulus looked at Severus like he had just said the balmiest statement about theater.

”What- Of course the muggles are people! Barely apes maybe, if that but people unfortunately that we have to hide our existence from!”

”Not doing well at convincing me you aren’t high right now Regulus.” Severus sighed and rubbed his forehead.

”All right, let's hear it, why would you need to hide from ‘these people’ that you call muggles?” 

Regulus shook his head, “Obviously WE need to conceal our magic! It’s against the statute to show our magic to muggles, why, you could get sent to Azkaban for giving these potions to muggles!”

Severus was struck dumb for just a moment, narrow eyes glanced at Regulus in bitter disbelief. Silently he grabbed a torch and flicked it on, “Right, well Regulus of The Noble and Most Ancient House of Black,” He let his disdain seep into every word, “Sit down and I’ll check you over to make sure whatever you took wasn’t laced with bleach or some ridiculous poison.”

Regulus sputtered again, this time in what seemed to be confusion. “Wha- But! But its true! How can you pretend to not know of magic- Its seeping into every corner of this dilapidated, rotting, hole in the-” He stopped short at another cutting glance from Severus.

“You utterly, baffling, buffoon. Sit down before I call campus police!” Severus once again wondered why he decided to try and help this poor, rich, fool.

Regulus, maybe sensing that he was on the very last of Severus’ nerves, sat down. 

“Good.” Severus said shortly. He took another breath and handed Regulus the glass of water. “Drink this then we can make sure you aren’t about to drop dead from an overdose or some such nonsense.”

Regulus gave a halfhearted glare and accepted the water. Severus began to check him over. Regulus sighing and making his general distaste known. After seeing his pupils were normal sizes, and there were no big wounds on this rich boy in a robe, he stood back.

“Alright, you seem fine enough, some scratches here and there but you don’t seem that wired anymore. Coming off of it now?”

Regulus once again sighed, “I told you already, I’m not on this muggle drug stuff.” 

“Okay, so you just believe in magic, of course.” Severus rolled his eyes. “Another thing, what is this group you are hiding from? Racist bollocks I assume?” 

Regulus looked up confused “What is racist? Muggles are the lesser of course; and if they were to find out that wizards and wizarding society existed, well certainly they would seek war against us! Or… something evil like that.” 

Severus rolled his eyes again, “Ah yes the evil group of people who are somehow lesser than you but also can hurt you. That makes so much sense. And I wonder if you judge these people who don’t even know you by the color of their skin right?” 

Regulus blinked, “Whyever would we judge people by their skin? What even- What nonsense,” He tossed a curl off his forehead. “Obviously, we can tell that someone is a muggle if they have no magic!” 

Severus felt a headache coming on. “Okay so, like me then. I’m a lesser person who seeks to wage war against you?” Honestly maybe he should just kick this guy out of his dorm.

“Now you’re just having me on! I can feel the magic all around this dorm. I don’t know why you are hiding with these… people, but I’ll have you know that my family is very influential and they can-” He paused, pale face growing paler. “No, maybe it’s for the best that…” He trailed off. 

“Alright, so now you’re saying I’m a bloke who can run around and create random spells with a little song?” Severus chuckled in disbelief. “Sure mate, now I really know you’re on one.”

Regulus looked up at Severus, “Speaking of, how come you never went to Hogwarts? Some decide to take their education abroad but…” He glanced around, very obviously judging Severus’ dorm. “I can see you decided to not… do that.” 

“Hog- what now? That's a school then? Never heard of it. Besides, I’m very content with my schooling right here.” Severus shook his head at the snob sitting on his little two seater couch. “Though it might not be up to your… delicate sensibilities.” He let his lip curl around his words.

Regulus seemed put off, shocked and confused. “What do you mean you’ve never heard of Hogwarts ? The Quill of Acceptance never mistakes a wizard child for a muggle-” 

“Actually, no. I won’t continue this conversation with you if you keep making disparaging remarks. You can just up and get your toff arse out of my dorm if you keep insulting, who I can only assume is my family and my… friends.” Severus wasn’t sure what a muggle was, but he could tell it wasn’t positive and if it wasn’t racist then it was worse. Xenophobia maybe? 

Regulus frowned and slowly nodded. “Well, as I was saying, The quill of Acceptance wouldn’t mistake a wizard for a-” He paused and glanced at Severus. “Non magical?” Severus tilted his head then nodded, at least it didn’t hold the hatred that the other word did.

“A non magical child then. That wouldn’t happen! You didn’t get anything, a letter, or a teacher coming to your door to tell you about magic? About Hogwarts? Think! It would have happened when you turned eleven! Or a few months earlier depending on your birth month.”

“A teacher? When I was eleven, my mother was- There wasn’t anyone who… stopped by” Severus didn’t like to think about his youth; rare was the day when he let himself think of his mother. Bitter shards of hate would splinter his core when he thought of how she had died. How he wasn’t with her when- Didn’t protect her from-  

But, he wasn’t at home when he turned eleven now was he? There was a moment with an owl and a letter. Hogwarts was it? 

“A letter found me once, when I was living in… unfortunate circumstances. I thought it was a cruel and unusual joke. There was an owl that took my response.” Severus pondered aloud.

“That’s it! Oh you fool! You turned down your magical education ? Whatever could you have done without it?!” Regulus cried out, hands in his hair.

Severus sniffed, “I am getting my education, so what if I didn’t accept one from a random place I’d never heard of, from a person I’d never heard of. What foolish person would just accept going to a strange place? I assume you don’t welcome the parents of non magical people- Wait!” Severus reeled back in shock. “There is no such thing as magic! I can’t believe I got strung along! Your foolishness is spreading!” He straightened himself from where he had leaned against the wall. 

“Maybe it is time for you to go-”

Sev cut himself off as water floated past his face. Turning slightly he saw Regulus, concentrating on the jet of water flying in his dorm, his hands held up and straining themselves. Regulus moved his hands and the water swirled, he beckoned and the water returned to his glass. 

Severus once again thrown for a loop could do nothing but stare at Regulus who puffed his chest out proudly. 

“Wandless! I’ve been practicing! You can’t say that was fake now can you!”

Chapter Text

“What. The fuck.” Severus felt like a fool, mouth agape and eyes wide. “Did you just- Did you spike me?!” Severus asked, trying to make sense of what he’d just seen.

“Did I what?” Regulus looked smugly on, Severus faintly wanted to swat at him. The swot.

“I told you! I’ve been practicing my wandless magic!” The younger man preened. “This is nearly impossible for most other wizards in this day and age, I’ll have you know.”

Severus was shaken. There wasn’t any way in bloody fuck that magic was real. But… Regulus had never been in Sev’s dorm before and there wasn’t any way that his acting troop or… acquaintances knew such a rich bloke. 

Severus ignored the shake in his voice as he stared intently at Regulus, “You swear it? This is.. This is real? And you say, I also…?”

He couldn’t even voice it. 

Regulus rolled his eyes smarmily, “Of course you can do it. You aren’t anything like those lowly-” Severus looked up sharply in warning and Regulus quickly moved on. “Though I’m not sure why you turned down a Hogwarts letter… You would have been learning in Sirius’ year I expect, or mine even.”

Sev glanced around at the dorm they sat in, processing the fact that everything he knew was fake and wondered about a life that could have been. A life where there were people his age who could just…. “Alakazam!” someone else. Truly, it sounded dangerous… Children were bad enough but, could they explode someone? Bully them? Hurt them? Severus tapped his hands on his thighs in thought.

Regulus, who had been sitting quietly, shifted his weight slightly where he sat. 

“Hogwarts… you are a bit too old to be a first year I must say. I could reach out to the Headmaster and see if there is a way you could attend if that’s- I mean, you have to learn how to control your magic! You can’t just ignore it and let it wither, that’d be barbaric.” 

Sev felt his face twisting at the thought of joining a school alongside eleven year olds . He’d much rather just- not deal with it. 

But did he really want to ignore this thing that he could learn? This impossible thing.

He spoke slowly, “I don't much fancy the idea of going to Wizard high school.” 

Regulus nodded, thankfully not trying to force his hand or convince him to change his mind.

“I could… teach you. I mean- If that’s something you want!” 

Regulus’ face flushed before he continued, hands moving with his words. 

“Well, why wouldn’t you want to learn it? It’s your bloodright! Well, you have a lesser claim if you aren’t a pureblood, of course; but it would be dangerous and irresponsible of me to just leave you here as you are. Magic unclaimed and untrained!” 

He paused suddenly, as if he realized how excited he had truly gotten. Looking over to Severus he was surprised at the intensity of the man’s gaze.

“You would teach me?” Severus said, voice low. “What would I even do with that knowledge? I haven’t the slightest care about.. Wands, or magic hats and rabbits. What use could your knowledge give me?” 

Shocked, Regulus leaned back. Severus’ words were callous; but Regulus felt a burst of excitement. A familiar feeling that occurred when he was negotiating for pleasures and favors in Slytherin. Severus wasn’t un-interested, he was maneuvering. 

Regulus smirked, slow and confident. 

“Of course, who would need to know about your muggle rabbits. But you might want to know about, say, the Rasselbock. Who’s antlers, bone, skin and blood can be used in potions of beauty, health, and protection. Or can be used as a catalyst in the most dangerous of poisons.

Magic hats you say? You’ve never heard of our sorting hat. It is sentient and reads the minds and judges the characters of new students. Defining their student careers, and therefore their very lives.”

Regulus knew he had Severus’ full attention. The dark eyes, locked on him, made him feel like he was flying high. One wrong word and maybe Severus would toss him out on his bloody rear. But, he had what he knew Severus wanted; knowledge, and power.

“Wands? Of course you would have no interest in them. They only give you a direct connection to your magical core. Making it easier to both take care of the small things like organization. But also allows you more access to a wider range of potion creation. I noticed you are very skilled, intuitive with potion crafting. Tell me, do you grow your own ingredients?”

Severus’ eyes which had been stuck on Regulus’ face suddenly burned hot. A hole felt like it was opening up in face, and he kept talking. 

“I think you enjoy making these potions, these cute, muggle- safe potions. You could bottle fame, brew glory…” Regulus shook his head in amusement. “You could even stopper death if you wanted. But yes, of course you wouldn’t want to learn these things. How silly of me.”

Severus stood up and walked in a small circle.

“I won’t drop out of college. I worked hard to get here.” He cut his eyes to where Regulus sat to gauge his reaction. 

“What good does muggle knowledge give you?” Regulus rolled his eyes. “They are sifting through the mud while We fly far above them. We don’t ever need to touch the ground if we wish it, we create magicks so profound that muggles would drop into a dead faint if they were but to see them!” Regulus seemed to think better of going too far in fear of getting shown the door so he paused and looked in challenge to Sev.

“Hmmm.” Sev raised an eyebrow slowly.

“Let’s go, I’m going to show you something.”

Regulus rolled his eyes, “ Nothing these muggles have will impress me.”

Severus smiled a cat’s grin, “That, magic Regulus, is a bet. It’s time to introduce you to the cinema.”

Chapter Text

Regulus was sure that nothing could make him lose this bet. Not this sin named Emma or any of those growling metal cages that carried mudbloods at worrying speeds.

Very worrying, how were these muggles not screaming for their lives? If they lost control of those things, they had no skelegrow or Episky to heal them. Nor any dark rituals to heal catastrophic damage done to them. There must be something wrong with them to be so calm in the face of such mortal peril!

Regulus refused to admit it but he kept a tight grasp on Severus’ sleeve. They were walking “downtown” to find this daunted Sin, named Emma. Severus’ mouth stayed in that annoying half smirk; as if he had already won their bet. Hmph. As if Regulus, Heir to the Most Ancient and Noble House of Black would allow that.

“What are we doing when we find your Sin, Severus? What horrors do you think you might eke out of it that would impress me?”

Severus glanced sideways at him with his beady eyes. His half smirk twisting into a smug grin. 

“Cinema, it’s a place where you watch movies. I know just the one to blow your brain.” 

Regulus blanched, “I beg your pardon? You didn’t say there would be explosions; especially not near my brain Severus.”

“Ah dear, no, you delicate flower of a man. You won’t be hurt, just come along. There’s a good swot.” 

Severus was laughing at him, openly. Regulus didn’t even try to fight the pout he felt firmly on his face. 

“It's a building in which you go and watch- er… moving pictures?” Severus took pity on him and explained. “Those of which are going to win me a bet.” 

 Regulus sputtered but he couldn’t answer properly because the man sped away. Damned long legs.. very long legs, wrapped in black denim and… entirely too fast for him to keep up. Damn him! Regulus rushed after Severus trying to not get lost in this barbaric world.

“We have moving pictures already.” Regulus grumbled under his breath. “Moving pictures have been a thing for centuries if that’s all you have for me then prepare to lose you insufferable, beady eyed-” Regulus cut himself off and schooled his expression into one of perfected innocence.

Severus, who had glanced behind in annoyance, shook his head. “Here.” He motioned to a boring block of a building.

Regulus eyed it in distrust before smirking, “Well? Blow my mind.”

What followed was two hours of the most shock inducing, heart racing, storyline that Regulus had ever seen. Star Wars: A New Hope had thoroughly rendered him speechless. 

“How can- How did the muggles- Why…” Regulus turned his wide eyes to a very smug Severus. “Is there more? Of that? Cinema, you called it?” He ran a not-at-all-shaky-thank-you hand through his styled hair.

“Tons of them. Not that, of course, you would want to see them. Right Regulus?” Severus’ crooked smirk only grew sharper. “After all, muggles and their ilk are… What did you call us? OH right, lowly things that sift through the mud hmm? Never would you subject yourself to anothe-”

“RIGHT, I’ve bloody got the point already you utter, you- you, UGH!” Regulus couldn’t bear the smug attitude any longer. 

“Maybe, it could be said, just possibly, not all muggle things are daft. Okay?” 

He felt almost ill admitting even that much. If anyone he knew had heard him just then, well. He might as well pull a Sirius and escape to Gryffindor for all the danger he’d be in.

 This was an exceedingly dangerous time to be sharing any muggle loving sentiments. But this poor uneducated man didn’t know about that, about any of it. No war looming over his head, not having to think about the fact that he could die at any point even without the Dark Mark. 

This man doesn’t have to worry about enslaving himself to a tyrant for the rest of his life, Regulus thought suddenly, a burst of emotion painfully lodging in his throat. What would he do if he had that kind of freedom, at the cost of his magicks? Would he ever willingly live amongst the mundane, just for a chance to escape what he knew was coming?

“That’s so very generous of you.” Severus, still smug and basking in his own successes, drawled. “Let's go see if we can find some food that ‘maybe, could be said, to not be daft’ as well shall we?” Turning on his heel he strode away, leaving Regulus to follow him helplessly. No, Regulus thought; he could never turn away from the bright warmth that even now curled in his chest. The problem had never been, and never would be magick. However it ends, whichever side won, he begged for it to be over already. He wouldn’t care if the muggle lovers wanted to watch more of their Star Wars. He only wanted to keep his own traditions.