Chapter Text
It tingles, that summer day's air
The cold sounds of the grey-lit streets
I draw in a breath and knocked at your door
We gon’ change
We gon’ change
We gon’ change
We gon’ change
We gon’ change
‘Do you think we’ll all go to heaven together?’ Jungkook asks one day, when they’re lying under the sun in a field far from where their problems lie; soaking in sweat yet shoving each other around, fond smiles playing at their lips as they share stolen treats and whisper hidden jokes.
No one talks about the bruises adorning his face and body, or how he restlessly shifts every time they pass by a dark passageway. No one talks about the fact he wears the same clothes all the time, or about the fact that he is always missing his wallet and phone.
Maybe they should have.
‘Nah. Absolutely not. You lot deserve to rot in hell whilst I sun lounge in clouds with my coffee and alcohol.’ Yoongi replies, scowling with his lips as his eyes twinkle happily. His hair is still dripping from when the maknaes had dumped him into the nearby river with no warning.
No one talks about his puffy red eyes and the dried tear tracks marking his cheeks; or about the lingering smell of alcohol around him. No one talks about the harsh red lines running across his wrists or about the way his eyes clear up whenever he gets hurt.
Maybe they should have.
‘Who the fuck puts alcohol in their coffee, Yoon.’ Jin retorts, rolling his eyes, yet not bothering to hide the subtle twitch of his lips, ‘Don’t worry, Kookie, of course we’ll be going to heaven together. Can’t say the same about those other brats.’
‘Yah!’ Jimin and Taehyung shout together, quickly tackling the eldest to the ground before mercilessly tickling him until he wrestles his way out.
No one talks about the frantic look in his eyes, or the desperate way he checks that his shirt and his jeans are still there. No one talks about the way he shifts uncomfortably when sitting, or about his obsession with his looks and the swelling of his lips.
Maybe they should have.
‘Of course I put alcohol in my coffee, old man.’ Yoongi states, ignoring Jin’s offended gasp and the ‘I’m only one year older that you, brat!’. Jin throws his failed daisy crown (along with a copious amount of grass and who knows what) at Yoongi, causing it to come apart and shower him in grass and, well, daisies. Jungkook erupts into small giggles; hidden behind his hand. Sooner rather than later, to Yoongi’s dismay, the five sitting across from him are cackling like madmen at his (quite miserable) state.
A single flower sits on the top of his (‘wet’ as Yoongi repetitively reminded everyone, glaring at the maknaes) dark hair. Yoongi sulks, pouting as he crosses his arms, glancing at the (not laughing) purple-haired man beside him and (assuming that he was on his side) continues, ‘Joonie does too, right? Right? Back me up here, man, I’m being assaulted.’
No one talks about the way Taehyung flinches at the word, subtly rubbing his stomach and eyeing Yoongi and Namjoon carefully. No one talks about the way he jumps at any loud noises; eyes filled with unspoken fear, or about the increasing number of bruises across his body.
Maybe they should have.
‘Sure, hyung.’ Namjoon replies quietly without looking up from his book, lips twitching upwards fondly as he hears Yoongi groan and flop backwards onto the grass; moaning about how unfair life was towards him.
No one talks about the bloodstained edges of the pages, or the dark bags under his eyes as his clothes hang off of him, multiple sizes too big. No one talks about how distant he is from everyone; how he doesn’t really talk anymore, or about the way he slinks from physical contact.
Maybe they should have.
‘That means we’ll fight the demons together, hyung!’ Jungkook exclaims, eyes lighting up and immediately reenacting his imagination by fake punching Taehyung next to him.
‘Yah! Does that make me a demon, Kook-ah?! I’ve never been so hurt!’ Taehyung says, clutching his right chest as he stands up; only to fall to the ground in slow-motion. Jungkook dissolves into a giggling mess.
‘Your heart is on the left, you idiot!’ Hoseok laughs, standing up to pull up Taehyung as he rambles on about how his love was always unrequited or some shit like that.
‘My soulmate! Come save me from these beasts!’ Taehyung continues dramatically, tugging on Jimin’s sleeve as he leans heavily towards him; letting Hoseok take all his weight. Naturally, they tumble down together in front of Jimin, and Jin barely makes it out of the way.
‘Don’t worry, Tae! I’m coming!’ Jimin giggles, playing along with Taehyung’s fantasy, ‘If you’re a demon, I am too! We’ll protect the world together! Who said demons have to be bad!’ Jimin runs after Tae, who’s now running from Hoseok, who’s running from Jin, who’s running from Jungkook, who was sent by Yoongi.
No one talks about the washed out blue hospital gown that he wears, or about the haunted look in his eyes when he thinks too much. No one talks about the fact he was recently admitted to a psychiatric ward, or about the fact that he isn’t able to dance anymore.
Maybe they should have.
‘Kids.’ Yoongi mutters, sulking once again, and Namjoon giggles quietly beside him. Yoongi’s scowl shifts into a soft smile for a single glorious second and he thinks that all the teasing he got was worth it until-
‘Holy shit! Did Yoongi hyung just smile?!’
‘I knew you had a soft spot for Joon, hyung.’ Hoseok shouts loudly.
No one talks about the bottle of white pills peeking out from his backpack, or the way he limps when he walks even though there is no visible injury. No one talks about the fake smile he wears around other people, or about the distinct smell of the hospital lingering around him.
Maybe they should have.
Yoongi scrunches up his nose and pouts. The scowl returns once again. A chorus of ‘What?!’s fill the air and he sighs from his position on the grass, staring at the pale blue sky until he feels a little bit sick. Namjoon is silent again beside him. The sky darkens and the shouts in the distance come closer and closer-
The others have come tumbling back, tripping over each other’s feet (or maybe their own) and Yoongi sits up, a smirk playing at his lips.
‘Looks like you fuckers are finally back.’ He says, trying not to sound too needy. His mood lifts greatly as he digs out a stolen bottle of vodka from his bag. Everyone dutifully digs out their shot glasses and Yoongi nudges Namjoon out of his stupor; watches as he flinches before slowly understanding what’s happening. Taehyung backs away a little, and keeps tabs on how much alcohol they have - making sure they don’t drink too much.
They light a small fire with the wood they picked up on the way and share silly stories whilst trying out weird combinations like nerds and instant coffee powder in vodka. Taehyung makes sure no one gets too drunk and they happily enjoy the last moments of the day with each other.
‘Care to do the honours, Joon?’ Jin says at one point, pleasantly buzzed after his third shot. Everyone quietens down.
Namjoon smiles a little, dimples peeking out, and says ‘Bangtan, Bangtan, Bang-‘
‘BANGTAN!’ Everyone screams together, laughing into the dark of the night, slipping and sliding around and yet, no one would change a thing.
Hoseok starts a chant, standing quickly and lifting his drink up to the sky; almost tipping its contents onto Jin nearby.
‘KIM SEOKJIN. MIN YOONGI. JUNG HOSEOK. KIM NAMJOON. PARK JIMIN. KIM TAEHYUNG. JEON JUNGKOOK. BTS!’
They shout it out until their voices go hoarse, they shout it out for the stars listening above, and the planets and the moon and the sun and the clouds and heaven and hell .
When they finish packing up everything, hanging the empty bottle of vodka off of the large oak tree they claimed long ago, the atmosphere immediately tenses as they loiter around, and no one knows what to say.
They leave with awkward goodbyes and awkward hugs and awkward smiles and little warnings like ‘ Be careful. ’ and ‘ We love you. ’ and ‘ We’re all here for you. ’
But everyone ignores the obvious signs and everyone goes back to their own struggles - their own demons , and next week when they meet up again with one person so heart achingly not there they will realise that
maybe somebody should have said something.