Chapter Text
"Go to this address. Hill needs some help."
Natasha hadn't known what to expect from vague instructions like that but what else was new, really. She was used to it coming from Fury. The man liked being mysterious. He never shared more than he had to which was something Natasha could work with. Still, it was an odd request this time, to say the least. It was true that she hadn't seen Hill in a few weeks. She'd been on a mission herself and the Commander just hadn't been anywhere to be found when Natasha was back on base. It wasn't too out of the ordinary either though. Hill was a busy woman and it wasn't uncommon for her to jump from base to base. She'd be up on the Helicarrier for weeks at a time and then move to the Triskelion for the next month. Not to mention the field office she had, though Natasha had no idea where its exact location was. That was need to know only and Natasha definitely did not need to know.
Fury, for one, hadn't seemed concerned at all when he'd given her the order. If anything, Natasha was sure she'd heard a hint of amusement in his voice, and he had just barely held back any more facial expressions that might have given him away. Natasha was intrigued. This was most curious. It also added to her confusion. She had asked, of course, for more information and why it had to be her going. It didn't feel like an emergency in any way. Hill and her weren't exactly close. She wouldn't even go so far as to call them friends.
"Because nobody else has the damn clearance for this."
Which really just meant it was her or Barton, and Hill got tired of Clint's mouthiness fairly quickly. It still made no sense to Natasha though. There was no sense of urgency whatsoever so why ask a Level 8 to go? Especially when that Level 8 was her. Natasha didn't do well with people.
Natasha looked up at the building in front of her again. It was a nice-looking apartment complex in D.C., close enough to the Triskelion to get there in a hurry if needed but far away enough that it wouldn't be an immediate housing solution to most agents permanently stationed there. It wasn't fancy, exactly, but it was in a nice neighborhood and looked slightly better maintained than most buildings in the surrounding area. If this was a safe house, it made for some good cover. That, or it needed a deeper cover story than was strictly worth it. Natasha liked to keep things simple herself. The people living here were either the kind to leave their neighbors alone or the type to be friends with the entire building. Natasha had no idea what that was like. She kept her own neighbors far removed from her life. It was just safer that way, for everyone. Then again, she barely spent any time at her own apartment.
She sighed and took the chance of the front door opening to go inside. The man paid her no attention and she was glad for it. She wasn't in the mood to talk about why she was here. She didn't even know why she was here. She had a look around the entrance, spotting some stairs to the right and a lift to the left. She settled on the elevator quickly. If she could avoid taking the stairs, she absolutely would. Stairs weren't safe. She stepped inside the lift and pressed the button for the third floor. The way up only took a few moments and she exited as soon as the doors opened. She roamed the hallway in search of the apartment number that had been scribbled down on the piece of paper Fury had handed her. Hill's apartment. Natasha finally found it near the end of the hallway. She stopped in front of the second to last door, waited a few beats to listen to any sounds coming from inside, and then rang the doorbell.
Maria frowned when the doorbell rang. Nobody ever rang unless it was the door to the building, and even then most people knew better than to ring at hers. Her neighbors always knocked and nobody except Fury (who also knocked) knew she lived here. She put her laptop down on the coffee table and then got up to look through the peephole in her door. She frowned when she saw Romanoff standing on the other side. She really did not want to open the door but pretending not to be home wouldn't work. Maria sighed and opened but didn't bother to fix her displeased expression at seeing the redhead here.
Natasha looked up when the door opened. Hill looked... cozy. She was in sweatpants and a tank top. Considering the relatively warm temperatures, that wasn't too surprising. Natasha didn't try to peek inside but she couldn't help notice some details about the apartment even from here and with Hill blocking most of the view.
"What are you doing here?" Maria asked. "How do you even know about this place?"
Natasha shrugged once and held up the strip of paper with the address between two fingers. Even with the awkward lighting from the hallway Maria could make out Fury's handwriting.
"Dammit."
Maria sighed and checked the hallway before reluctantly letting Natasha in. The redhead took several moments to sweep the room with her eyes now that she was fully able to. It looked, as she'd already gathered from the glimpse she'd caught earlier, a lot homier than her own place. Natasha had expected less comfort and more practicality, much like her own apartment was furnished, but this place was more colorful and more comfortably furnished than she would have otherwise guessed. It felt like a real home, not a safe house. Natasha wasn't sure how she felt about that.
"He said you needed help," she finally said to explain her being here.
Maria snorted ungracefully and Natasha raised an eyebrow at the sound. That was hardly a noise she associated with her. Hill was usually more put together than that. Then again, this wasn't work and Natasha knew most people were more relaxed at their own home. She wasn't one of those people but perhaps Hill was. She didn't get to comment further though because suddenly a loud crash came from the kitchen. Her hand instinctively went to the gun she kept hidden under her shirt, in the back of her pants. Maria caught the movement and glared at her. Natasha paused.
"Don't even think about it."
It was Natasha's turn to frown. She released her gun again and left it tucked away in her pants. Maria gave her a lingering warning look and then headed towards the source of the sound. By the time she was two steps gone, another noise came from the kitchen. It took Natasha a moment to realize that it was someone crying. She had to admit this situation was just getting more and more confusing by the second.
It didn't help that Hill returned with a small child in her arms. The girl couldn't have been older than four, maybe five years old. Natasha kept her surprise and suspicions to herself for now. The girl had her face pressed into Hill's neck, crying until she hiccuped. Natasha couldn't see much of her face. Her small hands grabbed Maria's shirt tightly and Maria rubbed her back soothingly. She whispered to the small child before turning her attention back to Natasha.
"I don't know what Fury was thinking but I don't need any help."
There was some venom in her words but Maria didn't care to mask it and Natasha wasn't bothered by it. She had every reason to be angry. Natasha made no comment on it.
The girl, upon realizing they weren't alone, lifted her head away from Maria's neck to look up at Natasha with big blue eyes. The exact same ones as Maria, Natasha noted. Her hair was the same color as Hill's too. It was like looking at a perfect miniature version of Maria Hill. It was weird, but not the weirdest thing Natasha had ever seen. If she had just found the girl alone, she would have believed it was Hill herself. The girl sniffled a few more times through her remaining hiccups and stared at Natasha. Natasha didn't know what to do with herself.
"No more tears, okay, honey?" Maria said softly.
The girl nodded once and let go of the shirt with one hand. She was still staring at Natasha. She looked back at Maria with wide eyes.
"Hair is hot?" She asked quietly, pointing at Natasha's red hair.
Maria smiled fondly and shook her head. She was about to explain but Natasha took a hesitant step closer to the two of them. She was intrigued by the girl. Maria tightened her hold on the girl when Natasha took another step closer and Natasha chose to ignore the way that stung.
"Do you... want to touch it?"
Clint's kids used to do that a lot at first too. They had been fascinated by the color of her hair. She figured maybe it wasn't too different this time either.
The small child looked between Maria and Natasha hesitantly. She wasn't convinced it was safe. It was kind of cute. Maria huffed a small chuckle and reached out to touch a few strands of Natasha's hair. Natasha froze. It was just for a moment but she hadn't expected Hill to touch her. If Hill noticed, she didn't say anything for which Natasha was grateful.
"It's fine, see?"
The girl reached out after a few more seconds and her small fingers joined Maria's in Natasha's hair. The touch was followed by several giggles and it was like the previous tears were completely forgotten. It made Natasha smile a little. Maria's fingers retreated again and only the girl's remained.
"Soft."
Natasha took a small step back and smiled at the girl. She was really cute. Maybe too cute.
"Hi. I'm Natasha. I work with your mum."
She heard the murmured "for" that passed Hill's lips in a correction of their work relationship but didn't acknowledge it. Maria didn't say anything about the mother part. It wasn't like she could deny it anyway. The resemblance between the two of them was uncanny. There was no question that the girl was Maria's daughter. This particular revelation raised a lot more questions though.
"I'm Nina!" said the girl confidently, pressing her free hand flat against her chest in what was quite possibly the cutest gesture Natasha had ever witnessed.
She had seen Clint's children do plenty of adorable things but Nina had them all beat. That was quite the achievement. She gave Nina a bright grin, one usually reserved only for Clint's kids, and was met with a matching one.
"Honey, why don't you go draw something for Natasha while we have a grown-up talk?" Maria suggested.
Nina nodded eagerly and Maria let her down. The girl ran off to the back of the apartment and into her room. Maria turned back to Natasha and crossed her arms in front of her chest. She was angry. Not at Natasha, exactly. She was only following orders after all. But Fury was high up in the air these days and punching her boss wasn't such a great idea in the first place. Which only left Natasha to let her anger out on. Damn Fury and his need to intervene. Natasha watched her for a few moments and then spoke up before Maria could say anything.
"I didn't know. He just told me to come here to help you."
"What the fuck, Fury," Maria said angrily, biting down on the curse so Nina couldn't hear. Just in case.
"I'm sorry."
Maria let out a slow breath and then shook her head with a dismissive wave of her hand. She may be absolutely livid that Fury hadn't even given her a heads-up, but the man never did anything without a damn good reason. And in any case, this really wasn't Natasha's fault. She appreciated her apology though. Natasha so rarely apologized for anything. Natasha, at least, wasn't likely to spread her secret. It was true that Maria was doing this pretty much on her own with barely anyone to even talk to about it but she wanted it that way. She couldn't risk involving people. She made a vague motion with her hand, inviting Natasha to sit down with her.
"Coffee? Tea?" She asked. "Scotch?"
"Just some water is fine, thanks."
Maria nodded absently and went to get them both some water. This was not how she had envisioned her evening to go. She returned with two glasses and handed Natasha hers before joining her on the couch. Natasha wasn't entirely sure how to proceed so she took a sip of her water and gave herself a moment to think. She had no idea how to deal with this.
"How old is she?"
"Four, but if you ask her she'll tell you she's four and a half."
Natasha fell silent again for a little while. This was a lot to take in. Maria Hill had a daughter. What the actual hell. How had she not known about this? Hiding a pregnancy wasn't exactly easy. She had so many questions but they weren't even remotely close enough for her to ask any of them. Natasha wasn't afraid of much but she'd learned a long time ago not to mess with Commander Hill. She wasn't interested in trying to figure out how much worse Mama Hill would be.
"Maybe you're his contingency plan," Maria said after another minute of silence.
She put her glass down and rubbed her temple. This whole thing was giving her a headache. Why did Fury decide to do this now? Why Natasha?
"What?"
"He's the only one who knows. If something happens to him, I'm on my own. Maybe he's trying to ensure I won't be."
Natasha frowned. She thought it over. It was certainly possible. She knew from Clint how helpful it was to have Fury behind things like this. He was a huge help in assuring nobody else would ever find out unless directly told. She guessed he'd done the same for Hill. After all, she'd somehow managed to hide an entire pregnancy and maternity leave without anyone noticing anything. Not even Natasha. That part still irked her. She was more observant than that. But even if what Hill was saying was correct, Natasha still didn't understand why he'd picked her. She wouldn't have; especially not for these reasons. Natasha wasn't good with these things. She wasn't good with people and she sure as hell wasn't good with children. Clint's were the sole exception.
"He makes sure this place is safe," Maria continued quietly. "So do I but there's only so much I can do myself. His reach goes a lot farther than mine. It helps. All I can really do here is be friendly with the neighbors and remind myself not to shoot people for being stupid around my daughter."
Natasha didn't say anything right away. She let her eyes roam around the room and linger on the door to Nina's room before she stared into her glass of water.
"How do you do it?" Natasha asked finally. "Clint's got Laura. You... don't seem to have anyone."
Maria looked at her for a long minute, contemplating her answer. She didn't owe Natasha anything. However, she also understood her curiosity and it was true that Clint had his wife to look after their kids when he was at work. Maria was alone. She had never actually met Laura and she had no idea where the Bartons lived either; she only knew that his family existed. She could understand why Natasha asked. Maria's support system was herself and Fury, and some of her neighbors.
"It's complicated. I didn't have anyone at first but now there are the neighbors. They look after her when I can't. They're good people and Nina adores them. I don't have to worry when she's with them."
"They're civilians?"
"Yes, all of them. Thoroughly background checked by myself and Fury both. I'm not letting any agents near her. Fury makes sure none of ours even live in the vicinity."
"What about her father?"
"That's not a road you want to go down, Romanoff," Maria warned.
Natasha nodded and dropped it. She supposed it didn't matter anyway. Who Nina's father was was ultimately of no consequence and she didn't get the impression that he'd up and left Maria alone with the child either. More importantly, Nina seemed happy from what little she'd seen of her and Maria didn't appear to be struggling too much either. It couldn't be easy to raise her on her own but Maria was certainly up to the task.
Nina came running through the apartment like a small whirlwind ten minutes later. She ran up to Natasha and held out a piece of paper. On it was a colorful drawing of a stick figure with red hair and big eyes that took up most of the space on the paper. There was a poorly drawn couch in the background and a house, almost as if both had been added into the background as an afterthought. There was another small stick figure with Nina's pigtails, and a third one that stood tall in the background. It reached the roof of the house just by being next to it. Natasha figured it was supposed to be Maria and couldn't help a genuine little smile. The whole picture was a big mess and Natasha loved it. It was adorable. Clearly all the effort a four year old could put into making it had gone into it. That was really sweet. Clint's children had drawn her a lot of pictures like this over the years too. She'd kept all of them. Nina looked at her with big eyes, waiting for Natasha to say something.
"This is amazing. Is your mum always as tall as the house?"
Nina nodded enthusiastically and bounced up and down on her spot, excited.
"Mama is the biiiiiiggest person! Nick says she fill out a big room when she go in!" She said with big astonished eyes, and Natasha almost lost it.
That was just too funny, and too cute. Maria rolled her eyes but smiled fondly. Fury came by sometimes to check up on her and bring Nina presents. Despite what Fury was normally like, especially at work, he was a big softie on the inside and he adored Nina. That feeling was very much mutual. Natasha, meanwhile, had a difficult time imagining Fury spending time with any small children. What she could see, however, was Nina roping him into anything she wanted. She was just absolutely adorable.
"She does do that," Natasha grinned. "It's because she's really bossy and everybody has to listen to her."
Maria glared at her sass but smiled when Nina turned to her with a giggle. Nina looked happy. She came over to Maria and hugged her leg.
"Can Tasha come visit us more?"
Natasha hadn't been prepared for that at all and she sat perfectly still, looking down at the drawing that Nina had dropped by her feet. It wasn't a big deal at all but Natasha felt her throat tighten. Maria noticed the shift in Natasha but kept her focus on her daughter. She was just as surprised by the request as Natasha was. Then again, this was just what Nina was like.
"Sure," she said reluctantly.
Nina didn't seem to notice. She squealed and beamed up at Natasha with big blue eyes. Natasha forced a smile back. It was strange. She'd been around Clint's children since they'd been too small to do much of anything by themselves and they grew up knowing her. More importantly, Natasha had had a lot of time to get used to them. Seeing them grow up had kept any potential panic of hers to a bare minimum. She knew these children. They didn't just get close to her in a matter of minutes. Not like Nina, who just really seemed to like her right away. It was a little overwhelming for Natasha. She didn't generally do very well around small children. The friendlier the worse, really. But she couldn't just say no when Nina looked at her like that. How could anyone say no to that smile?
"Sounds fun," Natasha said, easily hiding her discomfort. "But I gotta get going for today. It was awesome to meet you though."
"Awwwwww... okay. You come back soon?"
"Sure. I definitely want to see more of your drawings. They're awesome," she grinned.
That did the trick at least because the momentary flash of sadness on Nina's little face was quickly replaced by another bright smile. Maria watched Natasha carefully. She'd gotten exceptionally good at being able to tell when someone was uncomfortable around her child. The shift in Natasha had been surprisingly sudden. She had been fine before and then not. She wondered what that was about. Maria picked Nina up and calmed her down from her excitement so they could walk Natasha to the door and say bye. Natasha took the drawing with her to avoid any more sadness on Nina's part. She stopped by the door when Nina reached for her sleeve and she smiled at the girl before looking up at Maria.
"Next time, knock five times," Maria said.
Natasha nodded once, waved goodbye to Nina, and then left quickly. She heard the door close behind her and made her way back to the elevator. She could take the stairs. It would be faster than waiting for the painfully slow lift. Or maybe it just felt slow because her heart was beating so damn hard. She stepped into it when it finally arrived and stood in the middle once she pressed the button for the ground floor. She left the lift and then headed out of the building as soon as the lift arrived and the doors opened. She rounded the building to get into the next best alleyway. Natasha's breathing was off and her panic was rising steadily. She hated it. She didn't just panic. She was better than that. She rested her head against the bricks for a few minutes to focus on her breathing and try to calm down. It was just a little girl. Natasha could handle that. She turned to lean more against the wall of the building and covered her face with her hand. She hadn't had a panic attack in so long.
It took a few minutes for her to calm down again. She needed to have a word with Fury. Now that she'd met Nina, she understood why Fury had chosen her over Barton and it had nothing to do with the latter's inability to shut up. In fact, he would be much better suited for this than she was. He already had a family after all. He would keep Hill's secret, same as her. He could help. Clint knew how to act around children; he'd be able to offer some really good advice if Hill ever needed any. But Natasha? Natasha had none of that. On top of that, having a child be so open and friendly with her right off the bat was triggering all kinds of alarms in her brain and her body. It didn't matter that the kid was Hill's. She couldn't do this after all. This panic attack was proof enough of that to Natasha. She shouldn't have agreed to come back. She should stay far away from this whole situation.
Natasha pushed herself off the wall when she was calmer and her brain wasn't going two-hundred miles an hour anymore. She headed back to HQ to catch a ride to the Helicarrier. Fury had made a mistake with this. They needed to talk about it.