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But she doesn’t give up or complain. Ik Jun’s words floated through Ahn Jeong-won’s mind as he rose and took two steps towards her, needing to reduce the physical distance between him and Jang Gyeo-ul.
She was so brave, he marvelled. Brave enough to fight on when all hope seemed to be lost. Brave in a way he wished he could be. Was it any wonder why he had been drawn to her, despite his best efforts? Was it any wonder why he had fallen for her?
Her head was still bowed and he couldn’t see her face. But he could hear the soft, anguished whimpers that had begun to escape from her. Each tiny sound tore at him and the tears that had been welling in his eyes threatened to spill over as he watched her begin to tremble with the effort to hold back.
The overwhelming need to touch her rose up within him, and with it the desperate want to sooth the pain that was so palpably emanating from her being. The pain that he had unknowingly put her through because he hadn’t been able to find the right words earlier to tell her that he wasn’t leaving, that he would continue to be by her side and...to ask if she would stay by his.
He took a shaky breath and lifted a hand to her head, smoothing his palm ever so gently over her hair. It felt soft and silky and he couldn’t believe he was finally touching her. Oh, the number of times in the past his hand had itched to perform this very gesture whenever he noticed her hair falling forward as she worked.
He watched as his own hand stroked its way down towards her neck. He could feel her stiffen slightly under his palm as she became aware of his touch. His hand slid still further down, his thumb now beginning to graze the shell of her ear while the rest of his fingers instinctively curled around the back of her neck.
A current shot straight up his arm on contact. Electric, he thought, so electric. Like that time he had accidentally brushed against her hand when they stood outside Young-ji’s ward waiting to hear if her IV drip had been inserted successfully.
Except this time the current was shot straight to his heart from hers.
It was a moment he would never forget.
She had finally lifted her head and her eyes — that spectacular pair of eyes that never hid a single emotion, that sometimes seemed able to read his mind — sought his. Confusion swirled in them even as he could still see the tears she had been trying so hard to hold back glisten in their depths.
His gaze dipped lower to see that her lips had parted slightly in surprise, and for the life of him he couldn’t look away. He didn’t think he had ever looked at them properly before. They were thin but shapely with a well defined cupid’s bow. His breath hitched as he felt something else took over. Something that told him he had to kiss her now because if he didn’t have the words before, he certainly wouldn’t have it now, floored as he was with her confession. Logic dictated if words wouldn’t do, it would have to be action.
And so he lowered his head to begin closing the last of the distance between them. His other hand came up to frame her face, and with the last semblance of sense that he had before he swooped, he angled his head to the side so that he wouldn’t crush her glasses as his lips finally, finally captured hers.
. . . . .
Gyeo-ul didn’t understand what was happening.
In the myriad of possible scenarios she had concocted in her mind to prepare herself when she had finally made the decision to seek out Professor Ahn Jeong-won to confess her feelings and ask if he might consider staying, a kiss had never entered the realm of the various possibilities.
Gentle rejection, certainly. Thorough humiliation, absolutely. Tearful departure, probably. And she had been trying really hard to prevent the last one, since it was the one thing that was within her control.
But to be held so tenderly and kissed so gently? No. Never. Not in any of her wildest dreams.
All she could remember was his hand against her hair and when she raised her gaze to his, she had found his eyes already locked on hers with an intensity she had never seen. A light had suddenly flared in their depths and then his face had started to move closer. She had barely begun to process what was happening when his lips touched hers and she couldn’t help but jolt upon the sudden contact.
Her first kiss. Blink.
On Christmas Night. Blink.
With Professor Ahn Jeong-won. Blink blink blink.
Perhaps this was her wildest dreams.
Except the warmth of his body so close to hers felt too real, the gentle pressure of his hands against her neck too undeniable and the effect of his kiss on her entire being too electrifying.
Her eyelids fluttered shut as sensation took over.
. . . . .
At first it was just a meeting of the lips, a simple pressure as each sought to come to terms with this new texture, with this new feeling.
But soon, it wasn’t enough to just feel. No, they needed to move and to taste.
Tentatively, his lips moved to cradle her top lip.
Hesitantly, she opened her mouth beneath his.
He kissed her with everything that he had, trying to put into it what he had not been able to do so with words. To tell her with his lips that he liked her so much. To tell her with the hands that cradled her face how precious she was to him. To tell her with the body that swayed towards hers that he worshiped the ground that she walked on.
Nothing felt more right than this moment.
And as this new wave of emotion cascaded over him at this realisation, a solitary teardrop finally escaped from its confines as if to mark the magnitude of what he was feeling.
Breathlessly, he broke away from her. Needing to know whether she felt the same way. Needing to know whether he had been successful in trying to convey the depths of his feelings.
He lifted his head slowly, not surprised to find her eyes already level with his. The tears had receded and in its place was questions. Questions he desperately wished he had the composure to answer. But no words could form as he fought to steady himself from the emotions coursing through him.
All he could muster was a shaky nod, or perhaps was it two. He wasn’t quite sure.
Yes, he wanted to tell her. This is it. This is us.
. . . . .
A little unsteady on her feet, Gyeo-ul gripped the sides of her white coat in an attempt to anchor herself. But perhaps she needn’t have bothered as Jeong-won’s hands were still securely latched on her neck, tethering her to him.
She was acutely aware of every finger that rested there, each a hot brand in itself, searing themselves into her memory of her first kiss.
No. Their first kiss.
She wondered if she was in a dream. But was her mind imaginative enough to conjure up the softness of his lips? She exhaled a shaky breath, she didn’t think so.
She raised her eyes to his face, hoping to find an answer to the endless parade of questions that marched through her mind as she regained her sensibilities. Was this real? Was he staying? With her?
What she read in his face, in his eyes were almost too wondrous to believe. Instead, it was the infinitesimal nods of his head that finally sent her a staggering wave of relief through her.
It was real.
He was staying.
By her side.
And as if he sensed that she understood his intentions but wanted to underscore it to ensure there was no confusion, he leaned down towards her again.
This time, she reached up to meet him half-way.
If the first kiss had been a tentative coming together of new lovers. This second kiss was the beginnings of a breathless voyage by two explorers.
Each move and rub of their lips only served to accelerate the momentum of the surge of sensation as it winded its way through her body, into her heart, settling in her belly, down to her toes and to the tips of her fingers.
Dimly, she realised that they were still joined only by their lips and his hands. Hers continued to dangle by her side and she knew she had to do something with it. She wanted to act. She wanted to participate. So she reached out to place her hand on his coat-covered waist, intending to complete the joining of the circle that was their bodies.
But it was as if she had flipped a switch instead. His kiss suddenly became more urgent, more insistent. Their bodies touched and he groaned against her mouth. She, in turn, could not help the tiny moan that escaped in response.
He kissed her harder, his fervour tipping her back slightly, her body soft and pliant against his as she responded in kind. His hands on her tightened and she couldn’t help but let out a small cry of pain.
. . . . .
Gyeo-ul’s cry shattered Jeong-won’s haze and he immediately tore away, loosening his hold on her, panting a little from his exertions.
He was mortified. How could he have not realised his own strength?
She was looking down away from him, breathing in rapid shallow breaths, and he anxiously peered down to check if she was alright.
She was such a small thing compared to him. Had he ever realised how slender she was? No, he didn’t think he had. Her workhorse personality projected strength and her no-nonsense nature gave her an air of command that belied her stature.
He vowed he wouldn’t make that mistake again, his left hand coming around to pull her tightly against him while his right slid down her back in a caress, an attempt to make right his earlier wrong.
He felt her arms flit around him and he sank into her. Buried his face in her neck, breathed her in. Her head rested on his shoulders, her body nestled within his. She fit perfectly against him.
Of course.
There they stood, their bodies locked together. He wasn’t sure how much time had passed as they stayed like that. Occasionally, he could hear the sound of scurrying feet or soft murmurs as people passed by. But enveloped within the four walls of his office, they were the only two people in the world that mattered.
At long last, he decided to break the silence with a whisper.
“I like you too.”