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Emptiness is a normal feeling, but Kanade never believes that it’ll stay with her. The want to save people will eventually come back to her, clinging to her until all she can do is make more music, do more until she’s finally satisfied. Until she’s finally free.
If Kanade lives in the dark, then the rest of 25-ji must also spend their time in that solitary darkness. And yet, when Mizuki takes her hand and drags her through the crowded street, she can’t believe that Mizuki was made for anything other than the light.
It might be due to them getting closer, or maybe it’s just a simple fact: Mizuki is so full of life and light.
They smile at her over their shoulder, and Kanade feels their fingers tighten around her wrist. It occurs to her that she has no idea where they’re taking her, but she finds that she doesn’t even care.
“We’re here!” Mizuki lets go of Kanade to gesture at the building they’re standing in front of. It looms over them, but the light from the sun reflects off the windows, so Kanade has to shield her eyes in order to read the sign.
“A fabric store?” Kanade says.
“I go here a lot,” Mizuki opens the door, and the cold air from inside hits Kanade in the face. “It’s quiet, and they have a lot of different choices. If you don’t want to stay long, we don’t have to, but,” their smile suddenly seems gentler than usual, “I wanted to share this with you.”
Kanade smiles back, stepping inside. “Thank you,” she says, and isn’t sure that can quite show how something inside her warms at the idea that Mizuki wants to share something like this.
Kanade originally hadn’t even wanted to come. Mizuki is usually pretty okay with that, with talking to her, Mafuyu, and Ena online and only occasionally meeting up. Asking to go somewhere together, just the two of them, had happened once or twice before, but usually later in the day than this.
Kanade told Mizuki she had feelings for them after Mafuyu and Ena parted with them, when all of them met up. The momentary silence filled only with the humming of the street lamps made Kanade want to say something, maybe something larger than what she herself was made of. She wanted to tell Mizuki about the feelings that had built up inside her, warm and soft and, most of all, difficult for Kanade to say in any way other than bluntly.
It hadn’t been an easy decision. But Kanade has found that sometimes she wants to fill her life with sound, and sometimes she wants to sink into the silence until she’s nothing at all; Mizuki had smiled on that night, and suddenly Kanade wanted to be real. So she told them, quietly, what that meant to her.
A confession.
She wants to be real with them here, too, surrounded by colors and patterns and silence that Mizuki must enjoy to keep coming back here. Kanade stares at the colors. She doesn’t really wear bright things a lot, and her room is probably dull compared to Mizuki’s… She fiddles with her sleeve.
She feels out of place, so she sticks near Mizuki.
She’d wanted to come here, though. Mizuki promised that it wouldn’t take long, with that same happiness that lights up their face when they get to do something with 25-ji, and especially with Kanade.
Kanade owes it to Mizuki to try to enjoy herself in the atmosphere of the fabric store, watching her partner pick stuff up and hold it up, Kanade herself gazing curiously at the measurements. As the time goes by, Kanade finds herself relaxing, and when Mizuki tells her that they want to make her an outfit with a fabric she likes, Kanade lets them guide her through the different types.
“Alright, that’s it!” Mizuki swings their bag haphazardly as they exit. “Let’s go get something to eat! Sorry it took so long.” Even their apologetic expression is light and beautiful. Kanade can’t imagine regretting leaving her room for this.
“No,” Kanade shakes her head. “It was fun.”
When Mizuki reaches for Kanade’s hand with their free one, she tangles her fingers with theirs. The emptiness she once carried has gone away through something other than song for once, and Kanade thinks she could get used to this new warmth blooming inside her.