Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

"Your Highness, allow me the honour to accompany you," Zhi Xi, Lan Wangji's attendant, requested. 

Lan Wangji shook his head. "No need. I will be travelling by sword." 

Zhi Xi had arrived in the Yi Royal Manor with Lan Wangji two years ago upon his marriage to the Prince of Yi, Wei Wuxian. She and Liu Hong were the only servants Lan Wangji had allowed to accompany him to his marital home. He had always been used to doing things himself and frankly did not need attendants. However, Lan Xichen, his brother, had been adamant to not send Lan Wangji alone to the Capital. Although initially reluctant, Lan Wangji had to admit that it was a blessing to have someone by his side who he knew he could count on. The only problem, if it could be called that, was that his servants were not cultivators. As such, they could not accompany Lan Wangji to night hunts and journeys undertaken by sword. This was more of an issue to his servants than him, who loathed to see their Prince Consort go anywhere without someone to comb his hair.  

Zhi Xi bowed and silently handed him his qiankun pouch, freshly filled with extra pairs of robes and food. 

Storing his pouch up his sleeve, Lan Wangji picked up his sword, Bichen and his guqin, Wangji. He turned towards the door and saw Steward Quan come in, with Liu Hong trailing behind. 

Lan Wangji waited as they finished their bows and said, "Steward Quan, I have called you here so that you may inform His Highness that I will be leaving to visit my natal home in Gusu. I will be gone for an indefinite amount of time." 

Steward Quan's brow furrowed. "Yes, Your Highness. May I ask when will you be leaving?" 

Lan Wangji lifted a shoulder to bring attention to the guqin strapped to his back and the sword in his hand. "As you can see, right now." 

Steward Quan pursed his lips but smartly, did not press the issue. "Yes, Your Highness." 

Lan Wangji internally sighed in relief. He had expected more resistance. He quickly said his farewells, gently rejecting offers of carriages that could be drawn and horses that could be saddled. 

Stepping out of his rooms into the courtyard, he quickly stepped on his sword and flew off, with Steward Quan's imploring request of "Please, Your Highness, it is not safe to travel alone. Let me arrange a carriage" still ringing in his ears. 

Lan Wangji allowed himself a small sigh as the wind caressed his face. Truthfully, he had never been this impudent to his servants before. He was used to talking in circles with Steward Quan every time he needed to go somewhere alone, even for a simple night hunt. It had become a game of propriety. It was Steward Quan's job to ensure that the Prince Consort be given the utmost of care and it was Lan Wangji's job to politely evade his overbearing nature. However, today, after the day Lan Wangji had, he could not bear to do anything but get out of this place, Yi Royal Manor, the Capital, Yunmeng, anything that reminded him of his husband, as soon as possible. 

Lan Wangji swallowed as his heart panged with pain. His husband. Wei Wuxian, the Prince of Yi, brother to the Emperor. His mind could not help but revisit the happenings of the day, the miserable truth that led Lan Wangji to run from his house. 

It had been an ordinary day in the Yi Royal Manor. Lan Wangji had been looking over the household accounts. Zhi Xi had been brewing tea. Liu Hong had been attempting to dye one of Lan Wangji's robes, convinced that they would not need to contact the seamstress. And Lan Wangji's husband had been absent, presumably wandering around somewhere in the Capital. 

An ordinary, relatively pleasant morning. Until the arrival of Su Minshan.  

Lan Wangji had greeted the former member of his sect amicably, despite feeling anything but amicable. They had chatted for some time until Su Minshan had finally stated the reason for his visit. He had started a new sect in Moling and wanted Lan Wangji's help in gaining the recognition of the Emperor. 

Lan Wangji had politely but firmly refused. He would not be used for his status and even more importantly, he simply could not be used for his status. He did not even have the favour of his husband, let alone his husband's brother.

Lan Wangji did not understand how things had escalated but before he had known it, Su Minshan had started accusing Lan Wangji of being prideful. These insults had not bothered him. He had heard this uttered plenty of times, often in his presence. 

No, these charges were baseless and had swept off Lan Wangji's face like oil to water. What had bothered him, what had quite frankly broken him was this: 

"No wonder, your husband doesn't like you. He's not here now, is he? Probably in some flower house, passed out drunk. Do you know what he says about you? He says that this marriage is his own personal prison, set up by his brother and you." 

Lan Wangji did not know what face he had been making but something on it had certainly satisfied Su Minshan, who had smiled viciously upon seeing it.  "Don't tell me you didn't know this? The whole Capital knows. He bemoans his fate every time alcohol passes his lips. Says agreeing to this marriage was alike fixing a noose to his neck." 

Lan Wangji had stiffened, his limbs locking in place, his face slack-jawed. He had stared at Su Minshan's face as his words finally made home to Lan Wangji's heart. 

He had not known how much time had passed before Su Minshan had finally left. He had seen Zhi Xi and Liu Hong anxiously asking him something, their faces twisted in concern. But he had not been able to hear them. The only thing he had been able to hear were Su Minshan's words repeating in his ears, like a gong hitting the bell, like a chisel etching it permanently onto his heart. 

"This marriage is his own personal prison." 

"This marriage was alike fixing a noose to his neck." 

The room had come into sharp focus then, when he had gasped, his hands clutching onto the table beside him. His lungs had refused to fill with air, no matter how much he breathed. He did not if the pain in his chest had been from the shortness of breath or something entirely different. 

It had taken a long time before Zhi Xi and Liu Hong had managed to calm him down. As they had uttered reassurances in his ears, their hands tightly holding onto their robes, Lan Wangji had made a decision. 

"Call Imperial Physician Wen." 

Zhi Xi had gasped, while Liu Hong had simply nodded, asking, "And what should I tell her?" 

Lan Wangji had replied, "I need to see her today but it is not so urgent that she may need to leave a patient midway." 

He had needed to check. He had needed to make sure that Su Minshan's words indeed held a grain of truth. He could not ask his husband. He did not even see his husband unless they had a social function to attend together. He had no close friends in the Capital who he could trust, despite living here for two years already. The only thing he could do was ask one of his husband's friends. And the only one of them who would be willing to give him the truth would be Imperial Physician Wen Qing. 

Zhi Xi had fanned him while they had waited for Wen Qing's arrival, despite knowing that he was a cultivator and thus, did not need external influences to regulate his temperature. It had been a small comfort to Lan Wangji to see this gesture of care and he had silently thanked his brother for insisting on sending the two attendants with him. 

Imperial Physician Wen had arrived in the same manner she always did, briskly and without any fanfare. She had bowed before raising an eyebrow. "Your Highness?" 

Lan Wangji had offered her a seat and quickly explained the situation. "I am well. I apologise for making you rush here. I need your advice, not for something related to my health, but for a more personal matter." 

"You don't seem well," Wen Qing had commented dryly. This was why he could trust her. She would not mince her words. 

Lan Wangji had swallowed and asked, "As one of my husband's closest confidants, I request you to tell me if these statements I heard today are true." 

Wen Qing had tensed. "What statements?" 

"Apparently, Your Highness has been heard quite fervently opposing this marriage." 

It had been Wen Qing's turn to swallow then. "Surely, Your Highness has known this before. It was hardly Prince of Yi's idea to be married." 

Lan Wangji had nodded. "Perhaps. But I did not know that he considered it to be a personal prison set up by me and the Emperor, and a noose to his neck." 

He had made a point to observe Wen Qing's face carefully as he said this and his dismay had grown at the resignation on her face. Not surprise. Not objection. Not confusion. But resignation. As if she had heard this before. As if she had known this for a long time. 

Lan Wangji's lungs had contracted again. 

"I think Your Highness needs to speak to His Highness." 

"So it is true?" Lan Wangji had been relieved to hear that his lungs hadn't managed to affect his voice yet. 

"Um, I-" Wen Qing had fumbled with her words, something Lan Wangji had borne witness to for the first time since meeting her.  

"Is it true, Imperial Physician Wen?" Lan Wangji had pressed. 

"In a fashion, yes." 

***

Lan Wangji flew till sunset, increasing his pace every time his mind wandered to thoughts of his husband, until the burn in his eyes was from the wind and not tears, the feeling in his stomach from speed and not heartbreak. 

He landed for the night in a small town within Yunmeng borders. It had only been three hours since he had left the Capital and so he had not been able to leave Yunmeng yet. Though he had said that he would be going to Cloud Recesses, he did not plan to do so immediately. He did not wish to see his brother and uncle, and his beloved home that he missed more than he ever thought he could, in this state of mind. He knew that his brother would be kind and his uncle would be distant yet concerned. They would not fault him for leaving. They would not fault him for his weak heart. But he did not wish for them to see him like this. He did not want them to think that Lan Wangji was not happy in the marriage they had chosen for him. For, despite what Wei Wuxian believed, this marriage was not Lan Wangji's choice. He might not have been as opposed to it as someone else in his place would have been, as Wei Wuxian had been, but he did not choose this. 

Nonetheless, with the new information he had gleaned today, he felt guilt slowly working through his veins. He had not chosen this marriage but he had been happy about it. Happy at the prospect of marrying the love of his life. Happy at the idea of being by Wei Ying's side. Of being Wei Ying's. He had been so deliriously happy at the idea of his wedding to Wei Ying, while Wei Ying had been signing off his happiness, shackling himself to Lan Wangji for the rest of his life. 

Lan Wangji was not an idiot. He had realised minutes into his wedding night that this was not the marriage Wei Wuxian sought. He had known these two years that Wei Wuxian considered them married in name only, as interesting an addition to his house as a new piece of furniture. 

But he had not been aware that Wei Wuxian considered him such a hindrance to his happiness so as to compare him to a prison. Lan Wangji's heart clenched again. He had managed to do the one thing he had promised himself not to, the day he had learnt of his mother's tragic story. Be like his father. 

Lan Wangji shook his head, hoping to physically clear away his thoughts. He could not change the past. He could not erase it now. He could not free Wei Wuxian from this marriage completely. The marriage had been blessed by the Emperor and was the symbol of an alliance between the House of Lan and the Emperor. He could not ask for a legal separation or ask Wei Wuxian to divorce him. It was too late. 

He could, however, make himself sparse. Sparser than he had been. He had heard of plenty of gentry couples, who stayed in different cities, one in the capital and one minding one of the numerous estates of their family.

Yes, Lan Wangji nodded, making his decision. After an extended stay at Cloud Recesses, he could go to his husband's house in Yiling. If his husband had business there, Lan Wangji could go check on the number of farm land and estates under their family name. He was in charge of it anyway. 

He would not impose his presence on Wei Wuxian any longer. He wanted, more than anything, for his husband to be happy. That had not changed during these two years of a lonely marriage. If his presence was the problem, Lan Wangji would do everything in his power to make sure he did not hurt Wei Wuxian more than he already had. Even if his heart felt like it had been smashed into pieces. 

***

Wei Wuxian returned home at chou shi, with his flute Chenqing in one hand and a wine bottle in the other. He stepped off his horse, handing the reins to a servant and chuckled into the dark of the night. Wen Ning had been sure that Wei Wuxian would fall off his horse halfway, drunk off his ass, but Wei Wuxian had proved him wrong. 

Pumping his fist into the air in victory, he went inside, already planning how he was going to collect his winnings tomorrow from Wen Ning. He did not care if it was not an actual bet. He had proved him wrong. He deserved a reward. 

He staggered off towards the direction of his rooms, whistling absentmindedly and nodding to the servants who bowed at him. But before he could reach his courtyard, he was stopped by Steward Quan. 

"I wish to inform Your Highness that His Highness has left for Cloud Recesses this evening." Steward Quan bowed. 

Wei Wuxian's whistling stopped abruptly. "Hanguangjun left for Gusu? Did he have plans to do so?" 

Steward Quan replied, "No, Your Highness. He informed us today." 

Wei Wuxian frowned. Lan Wangji had a habit of going on impromptu night hunts, something that quite relieved Wei Wuxian, who did not have to avoid his own house as intensely when he did so. But Gusu? From what he could remember, Lan Wangji had always informed days before he left.

"Did he take his attendants?" Wei Wuxian asked. 

"No, Your Highness. His Highness went by sword." 

Wei Wuxian frowned. Lan Wangji had gone by sword to Gusu before but it had been on rare occasions. He usually preferred to travel to his natal home with his attendants, no matter how cumbersome it may be. When Wei Wuxian had asked Steward Quan to discreetly inquire about the reason behind this extra effort, he had found out that Lan Wangji wished his maids to visit their own home as often as he did. So it was indeed odd that he left alone. 

"Did he say when he would come back?" 

"No, Your Highness. His Highness informed us that he would be staying there for an indefinite period." 

Wei Wuxian nodded slowly. This was to be expected. After the first few times Lan Wangji had visited Gusu, he had stopped giving a definite return date, probably realizing that Wei Wuxian would not stop him from staying there for long periods of time. 

Wei Wuxian yawned. This was all a little odd but it was not in the realm of extraordinary. Lan Wangji had travelled to Gusu by sword before. It was rare but it had happened. He must have got homesick, Wei Wuxian reasoned. It had been almost half a year since he met his family. That could explain his sudden departure. Besides, Wei Wuxian could hardly be the one to blame him for not being more informative about his comings and goings. He would lose all his face if he tried to find fault in his husband for that. With this thought in mind, Wei Wuxian drank his remaining wine and went to bed. 

It was not until four days later when Steward Quan dropped into the conversation a mention of Imperial Physician Wen's visit that Wei Wuxian realized that something was wrong. 

***

Lan Wangji had spent the last four days travelling and night hunting. He had stopped on almost every village in the way, eager to put his mind to use for even the smallest cases. So far, he had found only those. A few lingering spirits to be put to rest. Yet it had been a great diversion, talking to villagers, putting his mind on the case, playing his guqin, finding a place to stay for the night. 

It was reminiscent of his life before marriage, the short year between the end of the Sunshot Campaign and his wedding. Before the war, he had been an adolescent, not yet permitted to go on night hunts alone. During the war, there were short reprieves between travelling to fronts and waiting for the next battle which he could spend on night hunts, but it had not been like this. Not been like the year after the war. Spent carefree, able to leave as and when he desired. And he desired a lot. After his marriage, he did leave a lot but he was always expected back. He always had duties to attend to and servants worrying over his return. 

Now, he felt free again. He was not returning back. Perhaps maybe once to formally inform his husband of his decision and compile his work to be transferred to Yiling and delegate the work he could not. But he did not have to do that now. 

Or anywhere in the foreseeable future. 

They could handle it all without him. They had done it before his entry into Yi Royal Manor and they could do it again. Now that he knew that his husband did not wish for his presence there, and instead actively wished for his absence, Lan Wangji felt at least this responsibility lift from his shoulders, even as his heart sank to the bottom of his shoes and remained there. 

Now that Lan Wangji knew he had failed in his only duty as a husband, his only duty as Lan Zhan who loved Wei Ying, his other duties did not feel as important. 

He flew down as he spotted another village. Stepping down his sword and sheathing it, he walked to the village square before entering a crowded inn. He sat down for tea and asked the waiter for any strange happenings around. 

"What a coincidence! Those two over there also asked me the same thing." The waiter pointed to a pair of men sitting at the opposite corner of the inn. One was wearing daoist robes and the other was in plain black. It was obvious that they were cultivators too. 

He nodded to the waiter in gratitude, who continued his story. "I told them, this village has nothing. But there are rumours that the temple on the top of Qian Chao mountain is cursed. I think they are planning to head up there." 

"Why is the temple believed to be cursed?" 

"It is said that you can ask the goddess for three wishes at a time, not more, not less. She will fulfill two and do the opposite for your last wish. However, you cannot choose which wishes she chooses to fulfill and which ones she uses to bring misfortune upon you." 

"Thank you for your information" Lan Wangji replied, inclining his head in gratitude. He ordered a few more dishes before getting up and walking over to the two men, who looked up from their conversation. 

Lan Wangji bowed and said, "Daozhang, I heard that you two plan to investigate the cursed mountain temple. Is that true?" 

The one in daoist robes nodded. "It is. Are you perhaps a cultivator yourself?" He asked, eyeing Lan Wangji's forehead ribbon. 

After his marriage, Lan Wangji had stopped wearing white robes, only picking them up again when he visited Cloud Recesses. The only thing that identified him as a Lan cultivator was his white forehead ribbon, which was not a tradition a Lan married out of his natal home could eschew. 

As such, he knew he would have to say that he was a Lan. He, however, did not wish to reveal his true identity. Thankfully, he carried simple robes for night hunts and travelling, not the heavy ostentatious robes he was expected to wear as Prince Consort. Lan Wangji nodded and bowed again "I am Lan Xuanyu, a cultivator of the Gusu Lan sect. I was hoping that you would allow me to take part in your investigation." 

The two men exchanged a glance and then the one in daoist robes smiled. "We would be glad. Come, sit. I am Xiao Xingchen and this is my partner, Song Lan, courtesy name, Song Zichen. We are rogue cultivators." 

Lan Wangji inclined his head before taking a seat. He hadn't night hunted with someone else in years. This could prove to be interesting. 

The three made small talk and finished their food before heading out onto the mountain. Lan Wangji learned that the two cultivators had been travelling together for five years. They had not fought in the war, which Lan Wangji was not surprised by. It was a war only fought by sect cultivators, the common men too weak to be of any military use and rogue cultivators too few for there be any demand for mandatory enlistment. 

What did surprise Lan Wangji was the fact that Xiao Xingchen learnt cultivation under the tutelage of the legendary immortal, Baoshan Sanren. Lan Wangji had honestly never really believed her to be a real figure, let alone see a disciple of her in the flesh. 

Xiao Xingchen laughed gently at his expression. "I get that a lot. She is hard to believe in." 

"I apologise. I was merely taken aback," Lan Wangji explained. 

"No, no, it is okay. Song Lan here did not believe me for a long time." 

Song Zichen scoffed. "Sometimes, I still don't believe you." 

Lan Wangji could not see why. Perhaps a claim from another man would be debatable but Xiao Xingchen had such a peaceful, smiling face and gentle attitude that even a person like Lan Wangji, who had spent a mere shi in his company could not help but trust him. 

Xiao Xingchen smiled. "People get even more skeptical when I tell them that I cannot take them to her mountain because her disciples are not allowed to return after leaving once." 

"You cannot go back to your own home?" Lan Wangji asked. 

There must have been something in his voice because Xiao Xingchen's smile turned even kinder, if that were even possible. "It is okay. We all have to leave some time to begin something new. After all, I would not have met Song Lan if I hadn't left." 

Lan Wangji remained silent as his thoughts turned to his own home. But he did not know which home to think of. Cloud Recesses or his husband's manor? He supposed it did not matter, now that he had left both of them. 

The three found the temple after ample searching. There had been a path leading up to it but it had been covered by foliage out of disuse. It was a small temple, only containing one room, which barely had enough space for the three of them to fit in. It was covered with dust, leaves and cobwebs. The characters on the walls were smudged beyond recognition. The statue in the centre was that of a nondescript goddess, holding a flower in one hand. Lan Wangji realized that the black mass in front of the statue must be food offerings, now rotten. 

"Well, let's see if this works. Shall we?" Xiao Xingchen suggested. 

They got to work. Lan Wangji cleared the offerings, sweeping them aside and outside the temple, while Song Lan lit up new incense sticks. Xiao Xingchen put down the new offerings they had bought at the market and then knelt down to pray. 

They had decided only one of them would test the curse. And that one person would only ask for inconsequential wishes, something that could not have heavy consequences in case it went wrong. 

Having done praying, Xiao Xingchen stood up and the three searched around the temple for any resentful energy. Finding none, they went down the mountain again, resigned to wait for the curse to activate. 

"What did you wish for?" Song Zichen asked. 

"Some new talisman paper, my stained robe being spotless, and meat buns for breakfast tomorrow," Xiao Xingchen replied. 

Lan Wangji wondered, "What if we make the wishes come true ourselves? If we get new talisman paper and meat buns, then will it be forced to ruin your robe?" 

"Hmm. Interesting question. Let's check tomorrow. Though I would prefer not to get my robe ruined." 

The next morning, before Xiao Xingchen could set out to buy meat buns and talisman paper, before he could even get out of bed in fact as Lan Wangji later learned, the outer robe he wore the day before flew from its place on the clothing stand to the nearby brazier, catching fire and burning up all of Xiao Xingchen's talisman paper with it. 

Later, Xiao Xingchen received a free plate of free meat buns and a free night of stay from the inn keeper, who apologized profusely for the fire, even though it was an accident. 

"The waiter had said two wishes though. Only one came true," Song Zichen asked, his face scrunched in concentration as he ate his meat bun. 

"That is not true," Xiao Xingchen replied. "Technically, my robe is spotless now that it doesn't exist anymore." 

Needless to say, there was a curse after all. 

*** 

Wei Wuxian laid on a divan in his room, popping grapes into his mouth. "Ugh, these grapes are so sour. Can you get me lotus seeds?" 

Steward Quan replied, "Certainly, Your Highness. I only ask for time to peel them." 

Wei Wuxian looked over in confusion. "Why were they not peeled from before?" 

"Your Highness, His Highness had undertaken the duty of peeling lotus seeds by himself. He usually gives instructions on the occasions he leaves the Capital. However, since His Highness left without prompt, it was my oversight for forgetting to assign someone to it this time. This servant will accept any punishment." Steward Quan bowed. 

Wei Wuxian waved him away. "Get up. Get up. It's okay. I was just asking." 

He was not aware that Lan Wangji peeled them himself. Why would he do that? Did he like lotus seeds that much? Wei Wuxian scoffed. He probably did not like how they peeled the seeds but was too good to actually offend anyone by saying so. Typical Hanguangjun. Good to everyone who deserved it. 

Before his mood could turn bitter thinking of his husband and just how good he was to everyone but Wei Wuxian, he changed his line of thought and asked Steward Quan, "I haven't entertained anyone in this house in a while. This old manor really sees no guests. What do you think, Steward Quan? Should we invite some people over?" 

"Your Highness, we had just received visits from Young Master Su and Imperial Physician Wen."  

"What?!" Wei Wuxian stood up, sending the bowl of grapes lying on his chest crashing to the ground. "Wen Qing? What was she doing here?" 

"Imperial Physician Wen was called here by His Highness." 

"What? For what? Why didn't you tell me before? Was he sick?" Wei Wuxian asked, his body tensing up. 

"His Highness informed me that it was a social visit." 

Wei Wuxian relaxed a little. He was not sick or hurt. But why did Wen Qing meet Lan Wangji? As far as Wei Wuxian was aware, they could not be qualified as friends, not even acquaintances. "And who was the other person?" 

"Su Minshan, Your Highness." 

Wei Wuxian had never heard of him before, as far as he could remember. Which was admittedly, not much. 

"Did they come together?" 

"No, Your Highness. Su Minshan visited His Highness and soon after his departure, His Highness called for Imperial Physician Wen." 

Wei Wuxian frowned. Lan Wangji called for Wen Qing? What business could he have with her, if not health? Did he lie to Steward Quan? And soon after this Su person's departure? Did something happen? 

"I have to go," Wei Wuxian said offhandedly, searching for Chenqing. Having found it under the table, he hurried, taking off on his horse to the Forbidden City. 

He entered the Imperial Physician Medical Bureau, eyes out for Wen Qing. He finally found her coming out of a room which looked like storage, with a few bottles in her hands. She stopped as she saw him and bowed. "Your Highness." 

"Cut it, Wen Qing," Wei Wuxian said, without any heat. Wen Qing had never respected him a day in his life and after Jiang Cheng had conferred the title of the Prince of Yi upon him, her every "Your Highness" sounded more and more sarcastic. 

She smiled, ignoring the baffled stares of the other physicians. "Why are you here?" 

Wei Wuxian motioned his head towards the door and Wen Qing nodded, following him outside. 

"Why did you visit Hanguangjun?" Wei Wuxian asked, as soon as they were out of hearing distance. 

He saw Wen Qing purse her lips. "What did His Highness tell you?" 

"Nothing. He left before I got home. Is he sick? Or hurt?" Wei Wuxian asked, wanting this worry in his chest to go away as fast as it could. 

Wen Qing shook her head. "No, His Highness is fine. At least physically." 

"Physically? What do you mean? What did he tell you?" 

"He wished to know if certain rumours he heard were true." 

Wei Wuxian stopped in his tracks. "What rumours?" 

Wen Qing also stopped walking, turning her eyes on him, her hard stare as sharp as one of her acupuncture needles. "Rumours that the Prince of Yi thinks his marriage is a prison and a noose to his neck." 

Wei Wuxian's heart stopped. He blinked. "And what did you say?" His voice sounded weird, he could tell. 

"I told him the truth." 

"You said yes?!" Wei Wuxian's voice rose. 

"Haven't you said so yourself?" Wen Qing asked, her stare turning even harder. 

"Yes, but not for his ears. And not such harsh terms. And not for quite some time. I said this at the start of our marriage when I was angry, when I was fuming. Why would you tell him yes?" 

"Wei Wuxian, I have heard you use these exact terms before. And so has the rest of the Capital. It is quite fortunate that His Highness is only finding this out now. It is actually a wonder he had not heard any of this before." Wen Qing's words stabbed him. 

"What, what do you mean the entire Capital?" Wei Wuxian asked helplessly. 

"Do you think that when you utter these words in restaurants and flower houses, no one hears them? Do you honestly think those people you hang around do not tell others?" Wen Qing pointed out, her voice matter of fact, which made it all the more worse. 

Wei Wuxian could not think. He had been drunk! And angry! Why would anyone take him seriously? 

"Even if you said them at the start of your marriage, it is no secret that you and His Highness do not get along. Have you ever thought about the sort of rumours this creates? Honestly, this isn't the worst thing out there." 

Wei Wuxian shook his head. "No. No. This cannot be. No." 

Wen Qing's stare turned pitying. Which was the worst thing Wei Wuxian could imagine. 

He did not want to be the cause of rumours. He did not care about rumours about him. He has long since been used to it. His entire life, he had been called the son of a servant, despite being adopted as a Prince. Gossip had only increased when he had returned from the Burial Mounds, wrong and ready for revenge. It had followed him his entire life and he had made his peace with that. But Hanguangjun. Peerless noble Hanguangjun. No matter his personal relationship with the man, Lan Wangji did not deserve hearing rumours about him. Rumours so harsh that he had fled to Gusu to get away from them. Bile rose up Wei Wuxian's throat as guilt threatened to choke him. 

He fled. He fled to Gusu. Because of him. Because of Wei Wuxian and his stupid, cruel, angry mouth. 

It all clicked in Wei Wuxian's head. The visit from that Su person. Then calling Wen Qing to verify the truth. And then Gusu. 

"I think you should have a long hard talk with your husband." 

Wei Wuxian swallowed down the bile. "He left for Gusu." 

"You have to go there," Wen Qing said, a command, not a request. 

Wei Wuxian nodded. He had let four whole days get by. Four days where Lan Wangji dealt with knowing such talks were swirling around them. Knowing there was a hint of truth in them. Wei Wuxian's head felt like it was about to cave in from the pressure. He realised he could feel resentful energy flowing inside him, around him. It threatened anger, tempted him with revenge. But revenge on who? That Su person might have relayed the rumour but it was Wei Wuxian's fault it existed in the first place. Wei Wuxian shook his head. He could not let resentful energy influence him now. He could not distract himself. He had to get to Gusu. 

*** 

Lan Wangji had suspected Xiao Xingchen and Song Zichen to be romantically involved practically from the moment he met them. He had got his confirmation last night when the two had booked a single room. They flowed with the ease of a married couple, not that Lan Wangji had been in close proximity of many. 

Nonetheless, Lan Wangji thought that if he were to spend time around a married couple, they would act like these two. They looked like two parts of a whole, working in tandem. They exchanged glances and had entire conversations in them. They picked food off of each other's bowls without asking and put other food in its place. They even asked questions to Lan Wangji for each other, having a silent conversation with their eyes and smiles. They didn't touch much for a couple, but remained close even as they walked. The harmony of their married life was pleasing to watch but also salt to his wounds. 

Lan Wangji had dreamt of Wei Ying and him being like this ever since he had realized he liked Wei Ying. He had met Wei Ying at age fifteen when he and a handful of other gentry children had been invited to attend lectures at the Forbidden City with the Princes. His uncle had been invited as a guest tutor, a position of great honour and prestige. Everyone knew, after all, that if not for Lan Qiren's duties at Cloud Recesses, he would have been appointed as Imperial Tutor a long time ago. 

Wei Ying had been a rambunctious teenager. He had all the arrogance of a Prince and none of the conduct. Lan Wangji had treated him with appropriate deference, which Wei Ying had spent no time tearing down. 

"I want friends, not sycophants," Wei Ying had said, much to Lan Wangji's chagrin (Bowing to an Imperial Prince was hardly grovelling enough to be labelled a sycophant).

After realizing that Wei Ying really did not care for propriety, Lan Wangji had spent his remaining time in the Forbidden City ignoring Wei Ying as much as he could. Which had just managed to delight and intrigue Wei Ying further. 

He had not left Lan Wangji alone, no matter how much Lan Wangji had snapped at him. It had been a surprise to everyone who did not actually know Wei Ying that Lan Wangji, the noble immovable Twin of Jade, was snapping at an Imperial Prince, a crime punishable by death. His uncle had spent many evenings making Lan Wangji do handstands in their family home in the Capital, deathly afraid that a misstep would cost his nephew his life. 

But his uncle and Lan Wangji had soon realized that Wei Ying was not given the importance warranted by his station. On the other hand, when Empress Yu had caught Lan Wangji scolding Wei Ying for sneaking alcohol into class, instead of caning Lan Wangji, she had turned her anger to Wei Ying, who had taken his punishment without complaint. Lan Wangji had been careful mouthing off his anger after that. 

Their acquaintanceship had turned into a somewhat friendship when Wei Ying had gifted Lan Wangji with a pair of rabbits. Lan Wangji still remembered the way his heart had beaten then, overwhelmed by the sheer emotion this gesture had produced. His skin had been overtaken by heat and he had worried that he had been blushing from head to toe. But Wei Ying had not given any such indication, simply smiling at him before going off to do some other mischief. 

Lan Wangji had realized then what this feeling was. Why his thoughts always returned to Wei Ying, why his eyes always sought him out and why he felt like tearing open the world when he saw one of his brilliant smiles. 

They had become amicable towards each other after that. Lan Wangji still hadn't known how to control or react to his feelings. But he had become self aware enough to stop rebuffing Wei Ying's attempts at friendship. 

When their months together had come to a close, Lan Wangji had left with a Wei Ying- shaped hole in his chest and a peony in his hand, given to him by none other than his first and only friend. 

It had been after that that the daydreams had started. He spent all his free time in Cloud Recesses imagining Wei Ying and him, going on night hunts, being best friends, being a team much like Xiao Xingchen and Song Zichen, so in step with each other that they would not need to think before acting. 

Of course it had to have been Lan Wangji's luck to be grouped together with a couple so soon after his heartbreak. So soon after what could not even be called a respectable marriage had crumbled down to dust, taking Lan Wangji's clear conscience with it. 

"So, Young Master Lan, are you married?" Xiao Xingchen asked, over breakfast, his free meat buns filling all three of their stomachs. 

Lan Wangji hesitated before shaking his head. 

He could see the confusion in Xiao Xingchen's eyes. "Engaged then?" 

"No," Lan Wangji said, with a firmer voice, now that he wasn't lying. He was not engaged after all. 

"Are you planning to?" Song Zichen was the one to ask this time. 

Lan Wangji opened his mouth before closing it again. He wouldn't normally wish to speak to anyone about this, especially near strangers. But his heartbreak was fresh in his mind and he realized that he wanted someone to know. Anyone. He finally said, "There was someone. But they do not like me back. So I feel I am… left out of options." 

The couple nodded, their eyes filled with sympathy. 

"Did they reject you?" Xiao Xingchen asked, his voice cautious. 

Lan Wangji nodded. "Mn. Their friend told me that they did not like me back." 

Song Zichen frowned. "So you did not ask them yourself?" 

"I was aware. It was apparent from their behaviour. So I kept my distance. But I did not know the… extent of their dislike towards me until I confirmed my suspicions with their friend." Lan Wangji looked up from his tea and saw that his companions looked quite upset. He rushed to reassure them. "It is quite okay. I had never hoped for anything, except maybe friendship. I have had years to get used to them not feeling the same." 

"Are you sure you can trust this friend?" Song Zichen pressed. 

"Mn. She is the most honest and straightforward person I know. If it's not to protect her family, she would not hesitate to be blunt." 

The pair exchanged a glance, their faces resigned. 

"Come on," Xiao Xingchen said, getting up. "Let's find out how that curse works." 

Lan Wangji also got up from his seat, grateful for the change in conversation. 

The three decided to interview villagers, hoping to find more information. It seemed like the work of a resentful spirit, not an actual curse. A curse needed a castor or an object to be stored in. Cursed objects, though rare, were incredibly powerful and relied on physical touch to be casted. Curses could not be active in an object forever. To sustain themselves, they laid dormant and like talismans, were only activated when they came in contact with a person's qi. Unlike talismans though, curses themselves stole qi from a person's physical touch and did not need the person to transfer qi on their own. 

Xiao Xingchen had not touched anything in the temple yesterday, let alone the goddess statue which was the only thing capable of holding a curse of that magnitude. 

So it was likely not a curse, but a resentful spirit instead. The peculiar thing was that they had not felt a trace of resentful energy around the temple. 

Through their interviews, they found that the temple had been there for generations and no one knew its origins. The village had seen people go in search of it, desperate people who were ready to lose something for the chance of gaining something else. Also, power-hungry people who decided the odds of one wish out of three not coming true were good enough. The villagers told them many stories of such people but they never ended well. A man in search of fortune, got a good business opportunity away from home but came back to see his wife and children murdered by thieves. A woman in search of a happy marriage, married well but not for long, with her groom dying on their wedding night ("Short and happy, eh?" Xiao Xingchen remarked). A youth trying to pass the imperial examinations, passed with flying colours, coming in in the second grade, but soon after was accused of treason and put to death. 

"Granting the other two wishes never works out well in the end, either," Lan Wangji stated. 

The other two nodded. "The wishes are true enough but never in a way actually intended by the one wishing," Song Zichen added. 

Xiao Xingchen pursed his lips. "And it's always the third wish's doing that spoils the intended results of the other wishes." 

"We need ghost stories," Lan Wangji said, quite abruptly. 

The pair of men looked at him, brows furrowed. "Ghost stories?" 

"Mn. Since it is likely a case of a resentful spirit that has been around for generations, we need to look into myths and legends of the town. Ghost stories told to children." This was something Lan Wangji had learned from his husband, the only time they had gone night hunting together, soon after their time at the Forbidden City but before the coup by the Wens. 

His husband had said, as they had sat in an inn together, wine dripping down his throat. "Ghost stories always have a kernel of truth. Especially those known by the entire village. These records are not written down, only passed from mouth to ear, spanning generations. It is often the only thing people inherit," He had finished that with a bitter smile on his lips and Lan Wangji knew Wei Ying had been thinking of his parents, who died when he was far too young. 

Xiao Xingchen nodded slowly. "It couldn't hurt." 

With that, the three set off to research again. Their questions this time were different. No mention of the temple. They heard all kinds of stories from different villagers, none of which seemed to fit the bill. Until an old lantern maker told them about a legend he had heard from his mother as a child. 

"There lived a great house in the village center. It was the house of a wealthy merchant. The merchant's brother was the village head but since the merchant had been born of a concubine, he had not inherited the position. Instead, the merchant had set out to find his own fortune. And find he did. He built the great house right across his brother's house, making sure that it was a few cun taller than his brother's. He made sure to make it grander and made sure that the house was adorned with a more beautiful wife than his brother's. And when his brother became a father to a lovely little girl, the merchant had three daughters of his own, one after the other. The brother took great pride in his own daughter and regarded her as his greatest achievement. The merchant realized that the only way to compete would be if his three daughters were better than his brother's. He wanted them to be more beautiful, more intelligent, more soft spoken, more filial, more level headed and more skilled. Just more, more, more. Of the three daughters, two were natural beauties. More than that, they grasped everything quickly. They knew the right things to say and the right ways to be. The third daughter, the youngest, did not. She was born an ugly thing, quiet to a fault and so meek that she ruined every task she undertook in her fear. The merchant could not bear to look upon his daughter. Cursing his fate and himself for having more than two. Every time his brother's daughter excelled in something, the merchant did not take pride in his two daughters who held their own against their cousin, but looked with shame at his youngest who could not hope to compete. As soon as the daughters reached marriageable age, the merchant gave away the youngest to a middle aged drunkard from another village, despite his older daughters being yet unmarried. He did not wish to be around her any longer, reminding him of his only failure against his brother. The youngest daughter lived a harrowing life at the mercy of her husband and soon died at childbirth, taking her unborn son with her. It is said that she came back to haunt her father for ruining her life and quite justly so." 

The three cultivators exchanged glances, Lan Wangji quite surprised to see that he was included in their non verbal conversation this time. They looked at each other and nodded. Three daughters. Two beautiful and one ugly. Two excelled and one doomed to fail. It fit. They had their resentful spirit. 

*** 

Wei Wuxian looked around his workshop, trying to find the transportation talisman he had been working on. He had not had the chance to test it yet, let alone across such a huge distance, but it was the fastest way for him to get to Gusu, now that he couldn't use his sword. 

"Ugh, why is this place such a mess? I can't find anything!" Wei Wuxian commented, his hand sliding loose papers to the ground. 

Wen Ning watched from his place at the doorway. "You told me that it was organised chaos, Your Highness." 

"Don't listen to anything I say." Wei Wuxian straightened up. "Actually, this is very sound advice. Do not listen to anything that comes out of my mouth. It is full of horseshit." He went back to searching. 

"As Your Highness wishes," Wen Ning said dryly. 

"You are as bad as your sister, Wen Ning! But seriously. I have decided to quit drinking outside. The next time I start blabbing my mouth in public, Wen Ning, I give you permission to slap me." 

"I do not wish to be executed, Your Highness." 

"Don't worry. Jiang Cheng will probably thank you. Give you a medal of honor. For providing much needed service to the country." 

Wei Wuxian did not hear Wen Ning's reply as at the moment, his eyes caught sight of a familiar talisman. "Ha! Found it." 

"Are you sure it's safe, Your Highness?" Wen Ning inquired, concern etched on his face. 

"One way to find out, right? We need to go to that graveyard. I need lots of resentful energy for this." 

They reached the entrance of the graveyard, thankfully empty at this time of evening. Wei Wuxian handed over the reins of his horse to Wen Ning. "Remember, if I don't come back, do not alert anyone. I would probably take a couple of weeks if this doesn't work." 

"Yes, Your Highness," Wen Ning said. Then he hesitated. "Have you prepared what to say to His Highness?" 

Wei Wuxian swallowed. "Um, yeah, this and that. You know my mind works best under pressure, Wen Ning." 

Wen Ning nodded and Wei Wuxian set off to the middle of the graveyard. He could feel the resentful energy brimming underneath the ground, practically vibrating against his skin, shaking the soles of his feet. He felt power rise inside him as he drew it in, his mind drunk for a single second at the thought of being invincible. He always loved this single moment, before the energy played with his emotions, before it wrecked his body from the inside out. This single moment of power was enough to get anyone addicted. Especially someone who did not have any other path to take. This, this energy, this power, was his only barrier against the world. His only way to protect himself. Only way to have control. He knew people thought of him as the Emperor's dog, ready to do his bidding, his most powerful arsenal. But they did not know that Wei Wuxian was here by choice. He owed the Jiang family everything and no amount of power the Emperor had could compare to the love and duty Wei Wuxian felt towards them. So, even though Wei Wuxian was bound here by different shackles that everyone thought, it felt nice to know that he could escape them if he had to. 

Shackles , Wei Wuxian thought, biting his lips. He had to get to Lan Wangji. His body taut with resentful energy, he activated the talisman with a last glance at Wen Ning, who watched through the gates of the graveyard. His fearful face was the last thing Wei Wuxian saw before he felt an uncomfortable tug in his stomach and the world titled. 

When Wei Wuxian came to, he realized he was lying face first in the dirt. He raised his head to see trees on all sides, the weather way cooler than it had been in the Capital. It was not snowing yet but the forest ground was wet with frost and Wei Wuxian regretted not bringing heavier robes. He could not place whether the trees were the same as the ones in Cloud Recesses but the cold climate was a positive indication. He wiped his face and robes, and started walking up the incline. His body could not regulate temperature anymore without his golden core but he could probably ask his husband for spare robes. After their talk, of course. 

He felt relief as he saw the familiar gates of Cloud Recesses and waited there as one of the guards left to inform Marquis Lan of his presence. The only times he had come here before were with Lan Wangji, usually for a wedding or a 100 day celebration, who always had his jade token with him and thus, did not need to wait to enter. 

The guard came back with Marquis Lan in tow, who bowed. "Your Highness, to what do I owe the pleasure?" 

"My husband. I am here to meet my husband," Wei Wuxian said, the exhaustion from the huge consumption of resentful energy setting in, now that he was no longer walking. 

Lan Xichen frowned. "Wangji? He is not in the Capital?" 

Wei Wuxian's heart skipped a beat again. "He told me he was coming here," he said, fear evident in his voice. 

"He did not. How long ago was it?" Lan Xichen asked, his face scrunched in worry. 

"It has been four days. He was travelling by Bichen." 

They both fell silent. It took two days at most to travel by sword to Gusu, less for a powerful cultivator, which Lan Wangji was. Even stopping for the night could not warrant his absence after four days. 

"Did something happen?" Lan Xichen asked. 

Ofcourse, Wei Wuxian wouldn't just follow Lan Wangji for no reason. Not when he had set off mere days ago. For a second, Wei Wuxian wondered whether Lan Xichen was lying. Was he hiding Lan Wangji? 

But no, Wei Wuxian could see genuine concern in his eyes. Even if Lan Xichen would dare to suffer the consequences of lying to a Prince for his brother, Wei Wuxian doubted he could fake his concern so well, especially as a Lan, a sect that prided themselves on upholding the truth. 

"No. Nothing happened. If he comes here, can you let me know by your fastest messenger?" Wei Wuxian put on a fake smile, trying to portray calmness. 

Lan Xichen frowned harder. "If Your Highness wishes, maybe we can go to the Hanshi and discuss this further?" He gestured towards the entry of Cloud Recesses. 

Wei Wuxian shook his head, waving his hands. "No. No, I should get going. I have stuff. Stuff to do." 

"It would be very remiss of Gusu Lan to not pay proper respect to the renowned Prince of Yi and our brother-in-law. I insist." 

Wei Wuxian realized Lan Xichen was not going to let him go without further cross questioning. If Lan Wangji had chosen not to come here, he probably did not want to let his brother know what had happened. Wei Wuxian could not stay at the Cloud Recesses, waiting for Lan Wangji to come home when he could be anywhere. His energies would be better spent actively finding him, rather than evading his polite but scary brother-in-law and his vengeful uncle-in-law. At least this all proved that they really were not trying to hide Lan Wangji from him. 

"I apologise. I must go. Duty calls. We cannot keep the Emperor waiting, can we?" Wei Wuxian laughed nervously. 

Lan Xichen's face shuttered. He nodded and bowed. "Of course, Your Highness." 

Wei Wuxian sighed in relief. An Imperial decree. Always worked. No one could stand in direct obstruction of that. He sent his silent thanks to Jiang Cheng and left the place, his wet cold robes still sticking to his body. 

As exhaustion lined his every move, Wei Wuxian realized that he could not attempt the return trip back tonight. He rented a room at a Caiyi inn and settled in for the night. 

He ordered food, his thoughts muddled in a way only a night of resentful energy could do. So Lan Wangji hadn't gone to Cloud Recesses. He had lied. Was this the only time he had lied? Did he always go somewhere else, while speaking of Gusu? Wei Wuxian could question his maids. After all, he took them most of the time. They would know where he had gone, if not Gusu. Wei Wuxian was sure that those two were the only people Lan Wangji deigned to talk to in the Capital. But truthfully, Wei Wuxian did not know much about his husband's social life. Or any of his life for that matter. They hardly talked after all. 

And whose fault is that? Wei Wuxian's mind whispered. 

No. He refused to take responsibility for this. He had given Lan Wangji every freedom and comfort, more than any Prince or Princess Consort had ever enjoyed. It was Lan Wangji's choice to enter this marriage. His choice to attempt to control Wei Wuxian, to make him give up demonic cultivation, like all the times he had said "Come to Gusu" during the Sunshot Campaign. 

Wei Wuxian had been the biggest idiot in the world, mouthing off his marriage troubles like that. Letting outsiders get the best of Lan Wangji. He hated himself for that and it was a crime he could never entirely repent for, try that he might. But it did not change the fact that the words were true. Lan Wangji accepted this marriage to act as Wei Wuxian's jailer, to ensure the sects, the ministers and the Emperor himself that Wei Wuxian would not act out of line. That he would not become the demon they all thought him to be. 

If the great Hanguangjun decided to sacrifice his freedom and happiness for the greater good of the cultivation world, the greater good of the country, then it was his choice. And he must bear the consequences of that choice. 

As Wei Wuxian was bearing his. 

He hasn't acted as a jailer in quite some time though, Wei Wuxian's mind unhelpfully supplied. 

That was true too. Wei Wuxian had been surprised when Lan Wangji had stopped his attempts to play Clarity for him and had stopped pestering him to give up the demonic path. Now, Lan Wangji mostly minded his own business like two strangers living together. 

Perhaps he has given up. But that doesn't mean he won't start trying again the second I talk to him. 

If Wei Wuxian gave him a cun, he knew Lan Wangji would take a chi. Wei Wuxian did not know why Lan Wangji had decided that he was the greatest pet project the noble Hanguangjun could undertake. Perhaps, he saw Wei Wuxian as the greatest threat to the country. Which would not be far reaching, given just how powerful Wei Wuxian was with resentful energy. However, at the same time, he could hardly go up against the entirety of the Emperor's armed forces. 

Still, Wei Wuxian reasoned, it would be costlier to require an army to stop him than for one man to keep him under control. 

Wei Wuxian had known that he would alienate many when he had taken this path, but he had never imagined it to be his own husband. 

***

Lan Wangji, Xiao Xingchen and Song Zichen decided to investigate the village the youngest daughter had been married into. They asked the villagers there if they had heard of anything but without a definite time period and family name, they did not find anything useful. 

"An abusive drunkard and his young wife dying in childbirth is hardly a rare story, Doazhang," a washerwoman remarked. 

She was right. It was unfortunately not an unusual story. 

Coming up with no new leads, the three ended up at the graveyard, to try their hand at Inquiry. 

Lan Wangji took off his guqin and played. He asked the question, "Is there anyone here who was married off from Boxiang, and was the youngest of three daughters?" 

They waited with bated breath as one of his guqin strings vibrated. 

"Yes," Lan Wangji informed the other two of the answer. 

"Ask her if she is the one who is wreaking havoc on the worshippers of the temple," Xiao Xingchen instructed. 

Lan Wangji relayed the question and waited. "No, she says she is not." He frowned. 

"Can they lie?" Song Zichen asked. 

Lan Wangji shook his head. He asked the spirit, "Are you the one whose father looked down upon and always compared to his two daughters and his niece?" 

The spirit replied, yes. 

"Are you the one who was married off to an abusive man and died at childbirth?" 

The spirit again replied, yes . 

Lan Wangji turned to the pair of cultivators. "She is the one. But she is not the one doing all of this." 

It would make sense too, since her spirit remained here and not all the way on the mountain temple. 

"Ask her if she knows who is causing this." 

Lan Wangji did. 

The spirit replied, second sister. 

Lan Wangji relayed the answer. 

"Her second sister? For what? Revenge on behalf of her?" 

Lan Wangji asked the spirit if she knew where her sister was buried. The spirit replied in the negative. He asked her if she knew where she had been married off to but the spirit did not know. 

"She does not know anything more. Where she might be buried or lived after her marriage. She perhaps died soon after her own marriage," Lan Wangji concluded grimly. 

On Song Zichen's instructions, Lan Wangji asked the spirit her sister and their father's names. Shen Jingya and Shen Wenhua. 

With these names in mind, the three laid the spirit to rest and returned to Boxiang to conduct further research. Though it did not prove fruitful. No one had heard of anyone named such. Inquiry at the graveyard remained unanswered by any spirits and the city records did state a Shen Jingya but did not state what had happened to her. 

Frustrated and at their wit's end, the three settled down for dinner. Lan Wangji's mood turned maudlin. 

He decided to torture himself and asked, "How long have you two been together?" 

Truthfully, Lan Wangji was not the talking type. One did not need to know him to know that. He would have never asked such an invasive question but Lan Wangji had never really been in talking terms with a happily married couple. He had only gazed at these rare pairs from afar, wondering what it felt like. His own parents' marriage had been a disaster and his uncle had never married. The only people he could call friends were his brother and Luo Qingyang, and the two remained single as well. Lan Wangji was thus curious. He wanted this. He wanted what they had. And in the aftermath of his own marriage blowing up, he wanted to feel the pain and warmth that seeing a marriage as happy as Xiao Xingchen and Song Zichen's could make a bachelor feel. 

Xiao Xingchen smiled, "Three years now? It took two years for us to get it in our heads that we both wanted it." 

Song Zichen grimaced. "I tried to give you so many hints but you wouldn't pick up on them. I thought for sure you did not reciprocate." 

"I did but I did not wish to presume. You were one of the first people I had met. I did not know what the culture was like outside Baoshan Sanren's mountain!" 

Lan Wangji felt his lips turn up at the edges. "What finally made you realize?"

Xiao Xingchen blushed. "Uh, it was stupid. It was a truth telling curse." 

Song Zichen laughed. "He could not stop complimenting me. It was embarrassing and sweet at the same time." 

Xiao Xingchen's face became even redder. "I had to bite my hands to stop myself from asking for his hand on the spot but he had thankfully discerned enough to know the truth of my feelings." 

Song Zichen nodded. "Who knows how many years it would have taken if not for that curse?" 

Lan Wangji could not picture the smiling, gentlemanly cultivator doing something as uncouth as biting his hands to stop himself. It sounded like something his husband would do. He sighed as his heart gave a pang. He should be used to this by now. "I am glad you both figured it out." 

"So am I. It's fun being a rogue cultivator but it gets lonely after a while to not have a companion," Song Zichen commented. 

Lan Wangji nodded. "I have not had as much fun in a night hunt in years." It sounded odd coming out of this mouth. The word 'fun'. But he realized that it was true. He had been lonely these years. 

Xiao Xingchen smiled. "It's good you found us then." 

As Lan Wangji retired for the night, he thought back to the only night hunt he and Wei Ying had been on together. Coincidentally, it had been an accident that they had met. 

Lan Wangji had been travelling through Qishan with other disciples. The Wens had not attempted their coup yet and no one had any idea what was brewing in the mind of Wen Rouhan.

He had met Wei Ying by accident. His sonorous voice as he haggled for tanghulu had made Lan Wangji turn without volition. He had not been able to believe his eyes. Yet there he had been, Prince Wei Wuxian, in the flesh. 

Wei Ying had been delighted at seeing Lan Wangji and had insisted that they night hunt together. Lan Wangji had acquiesced and invited Wei Ying to join their group of Lan disciples but Wei Ying had refused, only wanting to spend time with Lan Wangji. The thought had kept Lan Wangji's chest warm for months. 

Lan Wangji had agreed on the condition that Wei Ying could find them an appropriate night hunt close to the village they had been in. The Lan group had kept a day aside for sightseeing and Lan Wangji had decided to use this free time. 

It was then that Wei Ying had taught Lan Wangji the importance of legends and ghost stories. They had heard from the villagers about a great beast in a cave near the mountains and had set out without a second thought, the foolishness of youth coating their decisions. 

And foolishness it had been as they had got stuck in a cave-in with none other than a beast that resembled Xuanwu. Together they had defeated the beast but had got injured in the process, Wei Ying especially as he had snuck inside Xuanwu's shell to attack from inside. They had been stuck in the cave for seven days, unable to get out while Wei Ying was sick with a fever. Lan Wangji had spent the last two days singing Wangxian to a delirious Wei Ying until help finally came in the form of Lan cultivators. 

Lan Wangji had been taken home to recover and receive punishment. The next time he met Wei Ying, the new Emperor was a Wen, Suibian was not by Wei Ying's side and cruelty lined his every feature as he called Lan Wangji by his courtesy name for the first time since they were fifteen. 

***

Wei Wuxian returned home the next day, for once waking up at daybreak. His husband would have been proud. The truth was that he could not sleep, even as his bones felt like they were melting and his eyes burned. All in all, he felt like shit. 

He didn't waste time after that, walking to the nearest Gusu graveyard, drawing on the resentful energy and going home. He woke up the guards at his gate by his arrival, his exhaustion doubled after the return trip. He marched straight to Lan Wangji's rooms where he knew he would find his maids. 

They were already awake, dutiful Lan servants that they were. They startled at his sudden entrance and bowed deeply. "Your Highness." 

"Where is my husband?" Wei Wuxian asked, far beyond the point to dredge up any of the manners that Empress Yu had beaten into him. 

The girls paled and one of them replied, wringing her hands. "His Highness has gone to Gusu, Your Highness." 

"Wrong. I have just been to Gusu and he is not there." 

The girls blanched in unison. "We- we do not know, Your Highness. His Highness informed us that he would be going to Gusu." 

Wei Wuxian narrowed his eyes. They looked half scared to death. He sighed, relaxing his posture. It had been years since he had come back from the Burial Mounds and he was still not used to how much people feared him. "In all the trips you have taken with His Highness, did you always go to Gusu?" 

One of the girls' eyes widened. She rushed to speak. "Yes, Your Highness. His Highness doesn't take us to night hunts and the only other place he travels to is Cloud Recesses." 

Wei Wuxian peered at them. "Do you know the punishment of lying to an Imperial Prince?" 

The girls bowed immediately, kneeling down with their heads touching the ground. "Your Highness, please calm down. We swear we are telling the truth." 

"If you have lied to me in the past and choose to tell me now, I will be lenient. But if I find out that you continue to lie to me from this moment onwards, there will be no mercy." Truthfully, even if they did continue to lie, Wei Wuxian wasn't going to do anything. He would have simply dismissed them if they were his own servants but they were Lan Wangji's. And loyalty to their master was an admirable quality after all. 

"We swear, Your Highness, we are telling the truth," one of the girls cried. Her voice shook and they both looked on the verge of tears. 

Wei Wuxian sighed again. He had traumatized them enough. "Be at ease. If His Highness sends you any message, I need you to tell me. Okay?" 

They nodded frantically. "Yes, Your Highness." 

And there went Wei Wuxian's only lead. His stomach churned. He walked back to his rooms and asked Steward Quan to call Wen Ning. He did not know what to do. Lan Wangji could be anywhere. He might decide never to come back. 

Wei Wuxian tensed at the thought. No. He could not let that happen. That was not an option. If Lan Wangji didn't come home and he didn't go to Cloud Recesses, where could he be? 

Wen Ning arrived in a hurry, which Wei Wuxian was glad for. He was pacing around his room while the whole world went on as it always did, as if nothing was wrong, as if his husband was not missing. He could not stand inaction. He had never been able to. He could not stand waiting. He needed to find a solution. 

He rounded on Wen Ning as soon as he stepped through the door. "He's not in Gusu!" 

Wen Ning's eyes widened. "Then where is he?" 

"I don't know! That's what I need to find out. Wen Ning, what do I do?" Wei Wuxian pulled his own hair.

"Did you ask His Highness' attendants?" 

"Yes, they don't know anything either. This has apparently been the first time he has not gone to Gusu after saying so." 

Wen Ning raised his arms to calm him down. "His Highness had been upset. It makes sense that he would take some time to clear his head." 

Wei Wuxian turned to Wen Ning. "But what if he doesn't come back?" 

Wen Ning swallowed. "I am sure His Highness would not leave without a word if he had no intention of coming back." 

"I am such an asshole, Wen Ning! I spoke so much shit about our marriage that even people I don't know are coming to him with it! Who wouldn't leave me after that?!" Wei Wuxian could feel his guilt threatening to overcome him. He hated guilt. It was such an ugly emotion. 

Wen Ning asked, "That person. Young Master Su. Maybe he knows where His Highness went?" 

Wei Wuxian yelled, "Yes! Wen Ning, you are a genius." 

***

The next morning, the trio of cultivators set off for the temple once again. 

"I was thinking," Song Zichen began, "how would a resentful spirit know what Xingchen wished for? They cannot possibly read minds." 

"But I did say it aloud on our walk down the mountain when you asked," Xiao Xingchen pointed out. 

"But it cannot be that every worshipper who has been here has said their wishes aloud. What about people who come here alone? What about those who do not want their wishes known?" 

Lan Wangji frowned. He was right. "So it is not a resentful spirit?" 

"It doesn't seem so. The spirit said her sister was the cause for all this. But we could not find her sister's spirit anywhere," Song Zichen said. 

"So we are back to square one," Xiao Xingchen unhappily remarked. 

"We should perform Inquiry at the temple," Lan Wangji said. 

The other two agreed and on reaching, Lan Wangji again set down his guqin. But no one answered his calls. The three frowned. 

Lan Wangji pondered aloud, "What if we ask her the only way we know she communicates?" 

"Prayer?" Xiao Xingchen's eyes widened. 

Lan Wangji nodded. 

The three set offerings and lit incense. Lan Wangji was the one to pray this time. 

Greetings. Can we have a moment to talk with you? 

He looked around. No answer. He tried a couple of different versions until Song Zichen said, "Maybe you should wish that she would talk to us." 

Lan Wangji nodded. 

I wish that I see a peony on my way down the mountain today, I wish that the sun did not set today, and I wish that you would have a conversation with us. 

If this creature was indeed bound to make two wishes come true, she could not possibly make the sun not set. Lan Wangji had never met a creature powerful enough to do that. He did not think even a deity had that much power. 

This meant that she would have to make the other two true. 

He opened his eyes and the three waited. If she were to appear, this would be the place most likely. They did not have to wait long as a lady stepped out from behind the statue, where there had been nothing before. 

Dressed in rich, immaculate robes and a sharp silver headpiece, the lady looked angry. She folded her arms in front of her and scowled at Lan Wangji. "Very funny. What do you want?" 

Xiao Xingchen stepped forward. "Are you the one who makes two out of three wishes come true and one go horribly wrong?" 

"What do you think? Of course I am. You called me," the lady snapped. 

"Forgive my imposition, but may I ask what kind of creature are you?" Lan Wangji asked. 

"Well, this is a temple, isn't it? A temple of a goddess? So that makes me…." She trailed off, looking at them pointedly. 

"A goddess," Song Zichen completed. 

"Correct." 

"Are you Shen Jingya?" Lan Wangji asked, hardly able to believe that he was standing in front of an actual goddess. 

The lady clenched her jaw. "You have done your research, I see." 

"How, how did you…" Song Zichen asked, hesitant. 

"Ascend? What, you think only you cultivators are worthy of ascension?" She looked unimpressed. 

Lan Wangji felt his ears burn. That is exactly what he had thought. The idea of an actual goddess hadn't even entered their minds. Retroactively, it made sense. The only way she would hear their wishes was if they were praying to her. 

"Why are you doing this?" Lan Wangji asked. 

"Mortals have never treated right those who deserve to be treated right. Why shouldn't I do this?" 

"Isn't a goddess' job to help mortals?" Xiao Xingchen asked, uncertainty laced in his voice. 

She made a disgusted expression. "Look at you mortals. Even now you ask for my help. All of you, so selfish, so self serving." 

Lan Wangji frowned. "Your grudge was against your father but it has been many years since he has passed. The rest of them were not even alive at the time of your sister. Why do you take out your anger on them?" 

The goddess sneered. "They are all the same. You mean to tell me that there are no more angry fathers propping up their children like show pieces? You mean to tell me there are no more abused wives? No more negligent husbands refusing their wives' cries for a midwife even as she dies from labour? What my sister went through was not just the fault of my father or her husband. Everyone failed. Every person that allowed this to happen and watched it happen." 

"I agree that there are bad people in the world," Xiao Xingchen said. "But there is a lot of good too. Instead of nourishing this goodness, you choose to make this world worse by becoming one of the people who torment those weaker than them." 

The goddess did not like that. She roared and suddenly a sword appeared in her hand. 

The three cultivators unsheathed their own swords and backed away, drawing her outside the cramped temple where they would have more space for a battle. 

Not a battle. A beating , Lan Wangji thought as he realized that they were going up against an actual immortal goddess. 

The goddess charged towards Xiao Xingchen, who ducked. Song Zichen and Lan Wangji rushed to cover him, their swords hitting the goddess'. 

Lan Wangji's arm almost dislocated as he felt the sheer power rush through his sword at one strike of the goddess. 

They launched into a full fledged fight after that, three against one. They realized that while the goddess had power, the three cultivators were more skilled. They managed to evade her strikes, knowing that even one blow would be enough to deal heavy damage. Their own strikes on the goddess did not seem to injure at all. She did not even slow down as Bichen struck against her sword arm, barely breaking her skin. 

She managed to get an opening as Xiao Xingchen and Lan Wangji struck her, and pushed Song Zichen, who crashed against two trees, taking one of them down. "Song Lan!" Xiao Xingchen yelled. 

"Get him away, I will hold her off," Lan Wangji said, his words strained. 

Xiao Xingchen made eye contact with him. Lan Wangji could see the question in his eyes. Are you sure? Lan Wangji nodded. 

Xiao Xingchen did not wait and rushed off to Song Zichen's side. Carrying him on his back, he flew away on his sword. 

The goddess laughed. "Oh, how they abandoned you, little cultivator. What will you do now?" 

Lan Wangji did not reply. Wei Ying's face flashed in his mind. The only thing he was sure of was that he would not die on this mountain. 

***

Wei Wuxian was this close to losing it. The meeting with Su Minshan had not helped. 

The brazen idiot did not know anything. He went from currying favour to acting like an asshole to grabbing Wei Wuxian's thighs in fear in under an incense stick of time. 

He had no clue where Lan Wangji had gone and it had taken Wen Ning to restrain Wei Wuxian from killing him. 

He had really nothing now. He had no clue where his husband was. No clue where he could have gone. His breath was coming out in gasps and he hadn't felt like this since the coup. 

Wen Ning tried to calm him down. "Deep breaths, Your Highness. Deep breaths." 

Wei Wuxian took several deep breaths. As soon as his breathing came a little under his control, he said, "Okay, okay. What we need. What we need. Is my army." 

Wen Ning's eyes widened. "You want to send the Prince's troops to search for His Highness?" 

Wei Wuxian nodded. His troops were entirely under his command. They were equipped enough to search far and wide. They would find Lan Wangji in no time. 

"Your Highness, please think this through. If word gets out that you are searching for His Highness, think of the rumours it will create." 

Wei Wuxian hadn't thought of that. Fuck. "Okay, okay. Not the troops then. Just the scouts. They will be discreet." 

Wen Ning slowly nodded. "Yes, we can do that. I will alert them right away." 

"Tell them that he probably won't be in heavy robes. He probably won't be in Lan white either. But he would be wearing his forehead ribbon," Wei Wuxian instructed. 

"Yes, Your Highness." 

"And his sword. Bichen. Wen Ning, do you remember how it looks like?" Wei Wuxian asked. 

Wen Ning nodded, then shook his head. "I can recognize Bichen but I won't be able to recollect it from memory enough to have someone paint it." 

"Okay, wait here. Let me just-" Wei Wuxian trailed off, walking to the shelves behind his table. 

He shuffled through his old art, doodles he had drawn in his spare time. There were quite a bunch of Lan Wangji but none of Bichen. He grabbed one of Lan Wangji's face, a drawing from years ago when they had studied together. Lan Wangji's face had matured since then but his features were more or less the same and one could easily recognise this as Hanguangjun. He handed it to Wen Ning. "Take this for now. I will draw Bichen." 

He sat down with a brush and paper, grateful for something to do. He had been obsessed enough with Lan Wangji to be able to draw his sword from memory. It was a magnificent sword after all, noble and bold just like its owner. Adding colour to it to make it recognizable, he blew lightly on the paper to dry the paint before handing it to Wen Ning. "Here. Now go." 

Now came the worst part. The waiting. Wei Wuxian had nothing to do but wait. He had nothing to but drown in his guilt as he had proved himself to be the worst husband possible. He was going to ask Lan Wangji to put a permanent silencing spell on him after his return. If he would return.  

No. He would return. Lan Wangji wouldn't just disappear. He wouldn't abandon his duty.

Wei Wuxian yelled in frustration as he realized just how awful Hanguangjun must have felt to abandon his duty. 

He tried to sleep after that but sleep wouldn't have him. It was for the second night in a row and he was dead tired from his use of the transportation talismans. He walked around the house, coming to stand in front of Lan Wangji's empty bed chambers. He slid the door open and went inside. 

He looked around, trying to get a feel of the man but it looked like an ordinary room. No personal effects. No irregular adornments. He walked towards the low table and studied the books on it, hoping to find some clue. They were normal household accounts. He opened the drawers and found nothing but more accounts and estate records. He moved towards the shelves filled with cultivation manuals and idly sifted through the books. No secret paper slipping out or a hidden compartment behind the shelf. 

Wei Wuxian sighed. He expected nothing else. The man was incapable of deceit. He moved towards the bed, searching the low table next to it. A few head pieces and clips. He looked under the bed then and stuck his hand along the inner edge of the bed frame. His fingers touched something solid. 

His eyes widened as he took the small box out, bringing it to the light to see. A secret box, Hanguangjun? So sneaky. 

He opened it and his breath caught. 

Inside the box was a painting of Lan Wangji. Wei Wuxian recognised the artist. It was himself. There was also a dried peony and small chits of paper. Wei Wuxian unfolded them in dismay and realized they were the chits and papermans he used to throw at Lan Wangji during class. 

Wei Wuxian felt a lump in his throat, probably his heart coming up to strangle him. He tried to swallow but his tongue felt very dry. His eyes couldn't seem to focus on anything but the artifacts in the box, neatly kept as if they were treasured. The painting had creased lines as if it had been folded and unfolded many times. 

He felt pressure develop between his eyes, which he vaguely realized were tears threatening to spill. His heart squeezed painfully. 

He could not understand. Lan Wangji cared about their friendship? Enough to preserve these items? These useless gestures that Wei Wuxian hadn't thought twice before hurling them at him? He did not even remember where the peony was from. 

He was going to be sick. 

***

"Lan Xuanyu. Lan Xuanyu." 

Lan Wangji opened his eyes. He saw Xiao Xingchen leaning over him as his eyes focused. 

"Oh, thank god." Xiao Xingchen helped him sit up. He realized he was still on the mountain and Xiao Xingchen was passing him spiritual energy. 

Lan Wangji shook his head. "I am fine. How is Song Zichen?" 

"He is fine. I deposited him on the base of the mountain and came looking for you. But you were not near the temple. The goddess was gone too. I then took Song Lan to a healer and came back to search for you. What happened?" 

Lan Wangji tried to remember. "I passed out soon after you left." 

He remembered falling on the ground, his back hitting a large rock. He could still feel the pain as he moved. Lan Wangji stood up. "We should leave." 

Xiao Xingchen nodded. 

They walked down together, as Lan Wangji did not have the energy to fly down on Bichen. He took slow, measured steps to not disturb the wound on his back. 

"Why didn't she kill you? I can't understand. She looked murderous and she has never had qualms killing others," Xiao Xingchen wondered. 

Lan Wangji did not reply until they had almost reached the base of the mountain, when he bent down to pick a peony. "This is why." 

"Huh?" 

"I wished that the sun would not set today, I wished to talk to her and I wished that I would see a peony on my way down the mountain. Since she could not make my first wish come true, I expected her to fulfil the other two." 

Xiao Xingchen stared at him, bewildered, and then let out a rough laugh. "You bet your life on a flower?" 

"It was a fair risk to take." 

"What if she had shown you a peony and then killed you? What if she comes after us now?" 

Lan Wangji resisted the urge to look around, his neck prickling. "I think she does not want to grab attention to herself." 

Xiao Xingchen hummed thoughtfully. "What makes you think that?" 

"There is only one temple, deep in the wilderness of the mountain. From what I have heard, deities after ascension direct their followers to construct as many temples as they can. I have never heard of a goddess called Shen Jingya and nor have her own villagers. She does not wish to be seen by someone. Maybe someone powerful enough to stop her." Lan Wangji spoke confidently but it was all speculation in the end. She could come after them right now, for all he knew. 

But he turned out to be right as they entered the village and could not see any scary, angry goddesses. They walked to the healer and Lan Wangji sat down on the examination bed as the healer examined his back wound. 

"I am not a cultivator but I can apply medicine on it. There are some lacerations and bruising. It would probably take an ordinary man two weeks to completely heal. You have to take care not to get an infection." The healer wrapped his back in bandages as Lan Wangji glanced at a sleeping Song Zichen. 

"And how is he?" Lan Wangji asked. 

"More serious than you. The trees, as I hear is what hit him, really did a number. He will be lucky if his skull has not suffered from any breakage. Though, he can be expected to wake by tomorrow," the healer replied. 

Lan Wangji watched as Xiao Xingchen held Song Zichen's hand, his thumb rubbing circles on his knuckles. 

Xiao Xingchen turned to him. "It's almost nightfall. You should rest at the inn. I will stay with him." 

Lan Wangji nodded. Thanking and paying the healer, he said his farewell to his friend and set off towards the inn, peony still in hand. 

His heart felt strangely numb today. 

Two days passed before Song Zichen was well enough to be moved back into the inn. The three met at the couple's room and discussed the events that had transpired. It was apparent that they could not defeat an immortal goddess. She had plastered them all without really trying. 

They thus decided that since the temple was the issue, they should draw maze arrays around it, making sure no errant worshipper will be able to find it. The goddess only seemed to listen to them while they were actively praying to her so they hoped that drawing maze arrays a few li from the temple would not incite her ire. 

Song Zichen and Xiao Xingchen promised to come back every half year to restrengthen the arrays and ensure that the goddess hadn't taken them down. 

Lan Wangji was grateful because despite how vague his future might seem, he knew he would not be able to hold to the promise of returning here twice a year. He did not have the liberties of a rogue cultivator. 

Lan Wangji spent three more days with the pair as Song Zichen recovered, and Xiao Xingchen and him snuck into the mountains to draw the arrays. It was a pleasant period of time and Lan Wangji was almost able to forget his guilt and heartbreak in the company of his friends. It returned at night, of course, when he had nothing to do but think. 

At the end of the three days, Lan Wangji informed his new friends of his impending departure. They seemed saddened but knew that it had been coming. 

"And where will you go now?" Song Zichen asked. 

"Lanling," Lan Wangji replied with surety. 

Xiao Xingchen raised his eyebrows. "Lanling? Wouldn't have pegged you as the kind of guy to enjoy the crowded streets of Lanling." 

Lan Wangji nodded. "Mn. I am not. My friend lives there. I thought it would be a good idea to visit her." 

"Is this the one who doesn't like you back?" Xiao Xingchen asked. 

"No. That is someone else." 

"Oh. Well, we can always visit you in Cloud Recesses, right?" Xiao Xingchen asked lightly. 

Lan Wangji tensed. He did not wish to lie to his new friends. He did not want them to go all the way to Cloud Recesses, only to find out that their friend was an imposter. He cleared his throat. "You might find me there. But…" 

"But?" Song Zichen asked. 

"I actually plan to live in Yiling from now on. And-" Lan Wangji stopped, then started again. "And my name is not Lan Xuanyu, it is Lan Wangji." 

He kept his eyes on his tea cup but he could practically feel their surprise. 

Xiao Xingchen said, "Lan Wangj, as in one of the Twin Jades of Lan? Hanguangjun?" 

Song Zichen continued, "As in Prince of Yi's consort?" 

Lan Wangji nodded, his ears red from shame. He brought his hands together and bowed. "I apologize for not sharing the truth. I initially did not wish to be recognised but now that I have found such kinship in you two, I regret lying to you." 

Xiao Xingchen quickly pulled him up from his bow. "It's okay! Really. We knew the name wasn't real but we had no idea you would be Lan Wangji. I mean, His Highness." 

Lan Wangji frowned. "Please call me Lan Wangji. Unless I was mistaken about our friendship." 

Xiao Xingchen shook his head. "No, no. Lan Wangji, it is." 

"So, the unrequited love you were talking about," Song Zichen asked. 

Lan Wangji's ears burned again. "It is my husband, yes." 

"Oh," Xiao Xingchen said. "It is a worse matter than we thought, Song Lan." 

Song Zichen nodded. "Indeed." 

On seeing Lan Wangji's face, Song Zichen elaborated. "We hoped you would find someone else but you are already married." 

Lan Wangji pursed his lips. "Yes. I cannot separate from him but I do wish for his happiness. So I am going to relocate to Yiling, our family seat." 

The couple grimaced in unison, before Song Zichen suggested, "Maybe you could still talk to him." 

Lan Wangji shook his head. "His Highness is very self-sacrificing. If he were to find out that I felt discomfort at our situation, then he would do everything to make it right again. At the cost of his own happiness. In fact, that must have been what he was doing by allowing me to stay in the Capital where he clearly did not wish to see me. I must take matters into my own hands." 

The couple shared a sad glance. "Is this why you are travelling now?" Xiao Xingchen asked. 

Lan Wangji nodded. 

Song Zichen then declared, "Alright. We will come to see you at Yiling then." 

Lan Wangji felt himself smile. He was glad that they respected his wishes. And he was even gladder about the fact that they wished to see him again. Maybe this could be his life. Maybe he could entertain his friends once in a while, go see Luo Qingyang, visit Cloud Recesses, devote himself to Yiling. It would not be an empty life, even with the giant hole in his heart. It would be enough. It had to be enough. 

***

It had been ten days since Lan Wangji left. Wei Wuxian had spent the last six pacing. He had moved the box to his bedroom, simultaneously wanting to look at it and throw it far away from his eyesight. He felt like he was going to choke on his guilt whenever he laid eyes on it. And he felt that it was going to disappear if it went out of his line of sight. 

It was an admission. An admission of care. Of friendship. Of warmth. An admission Wei Wuxian had never known. 

Everyone had treated him differently after Burial Mounds. Even his sister, who did not fully understand the inference of his chosen path of cultivation, had been worried for him. He had expected to lose friends and he did. It was less noticeable during the war when everyone had needed him to fight. And fight he did. He gladly fought, seeking revenge for what the Wens did to his family, his home, his country. They praised him for winning battles. After the war, it all changed. 

The weariness his fellow cultivators had kept hidden, crept to the forefront with no greater enemy in sight. People he had grown up with were suddenly scared of him. Those who managed to overcome their fear were put off by his sudden change in temperament, his moodiness, the fact that he did not wish to do anything but drink and make merry. 

So, yes, Wei Wuxian had expected Lan Wangji to hate him. Had braced himself against it. And it had still somehow hurt when it happened. They could hardly be called friends. They had fun together when they were fifteen and they had gone on one night hunt a year later, but Wei Wuxian could hardly call them friends. He still had though. 

What he had been surprised by was how much he valued Lan Wangji's opinion of him. It had hurt to see his disapproving face. It had hurt to see him harass Wei Wuxian day after day, telling him to "Come to Gusu" and asking him permission to play Clarity. Wei Wuxian had pushed him away, built wall after wall around himself, saying that it did not matter. It did not matter that Lan Wangji did not like him anymore. And it did not matter than others thought the same. And it did not matter that even Jiang Cheng and Jiejie were wary. And it did not matter that he could feel his body failing, trying to keep up with these cultivators. And it did not matter that he would break his promise to Uncle Emperor and Empress Yu if he failed to win back the nation for Jiang Cheng. 

The only thing that mattered was defeating the Wens. 

And after they were defeated? Wei Wuxian was lost. 

All these years he had been unmoored, even when Lan Wangji had entered his home as his Prince Consort. He had been chasing thrill after thrill, only coming out of the water enough to fulfil his Emperor's commands. 

But now? This was equivalent to finding out that there was a life raft after all. That there had been one all this time and Wei Wuxian, the fool, had never thought to see it. 

It meant a world of difference to know that Lan Wangji cared. 

It had been six days of worrying sick, six days of doubts creeping in, six days of guilt and self loathing, six days of worrying that he would never see Lan Wangji again. 

On the seventh day, he was summoned by the Emperor. 

The only reason he went, besides the fact that he had no power to actually refuse the Son of Heaven, was the hope that maybe one of Jiang Cheng's spies knew where his husband was. 

Wei Wuxian's own scouts had brought back reports of a cultivator in a forehead ribbon passing through a village near the Capital but there had been no conclusive proof after that. Still, it had soothed Wei Wuxian's heart to know that Lan Wangji hadn't just disappeared into thin air. 

He entered Jiang Cheng's study and knelt with his head pressed to the ground until Jiang Cheng dismissed all the eunuchs. 

"Rise." 

Wei Wuxian rose and looked at his brother. He looked the same as always, dressed in robes fit for, well, an Emperor and a gold crown piece attached to his hair. Wei Wuxian never understood how he managed to keep his face clear of stress lines when he had to sit through hours of Ministers droning on every day. 

Jiang Cheng frowned at him. "Well, are you going to explain?" 

Usually, Wei Wuxian would play dumb but there were more important matters at hand. "Do you know where he is?" 

Jiang Cheng's face scrunched. "He's your husband. You should know where he is." 

The tiny hope in Wei Wuxian's heart extinguished and he scowled. "What good are you as an Emperor if you can't even find one person?" 

If anyone saw him saying that, they would not be able to believe their ears. But Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng had always talked like that. And sitting on the Dragon Throne was not going to change that. 

Jiang Cheng glared. "You! I wasn't even aware that he was missing. And you didn't think to tell me? It has been ten days and I am just finding out about this now?" 

Wei Wuxian pouted and crossed his arms. "Don't blame me if your scouts are not good enough." 

"Wei Wuxian! Where is he? Why did he leave? What did you do?" Jiang Cheng shouted. 

"Why does it have to be my fault?" Wei Wuxian couldn't help but ask. 

"Because it always is! Because it's Hanguangjun!" 

Wei Wuxian sighed. "Fine. Fine. It is my fault. He heard some rumours circulating around. And found out it was true. And then left before I came back home." 

He didn't want to explain it to Jiang Cheng. He didn't want to explain it to anyone. He didn't want to show how much of a failure he was as a husband. 

"What rumours?" Jiang Cheng asked. 

"That being married to him is a prison and a noose to my neck," Wei Wuxian mumbled, hoping Jiang Cheng would not catch that. 

"You are telling me that you bad mouthed a marriage blessed by me, your Emperor? A marriage much needed to sustain the Lan alliance? And you are telling me that people know?" Jiang Cheng asked, his voice deadly quiet. 

Wei Wuxian winced. This was worse than a shouty Jiang Cheng. Much worse. He bowed. "Your Majesty, please calm down." 

"Cut the crap, Wei Wuxian!" Jiang Cheng went back to yelling. 

"Yes. Yes, okay. That's what I did. It was the early months of my marriage, I was angry and resentful. At you. At Lan Wangji and I was probably drunk off my ass. So yes, I did badmouth it." 

"You agreed to get married," Jiang Cheng said, his voice hard. 

"I did. And I would do it again. It doesn't change the fact that Lan Wangji married me to keep me under control." 

Jiang Cheng's brow furrowed, this time in confusion. "What do you mean, keep you under control?" 

Wei Wuxian scoffed. "Don't play dumb. You were the one who wanted someone to do that and he probably volunteered like the good little Lan that he is." Wei Wuxian looked down at his hands and continued. "At that time, I did not know he still looked at me as a friend. I was angry. And hurt. And betrayed. So yes, I did let off some steam by badmouthing our marriage."  

"He didn't marry you to keep you under control, you idiot. When has he ever managed to do that?" 

Wei Wuxian stilled. He looked at Jiang Cheng and sputtered, "What?!" 

Jiang Cheng rolled his eyes. "Why would you think that?" 

"You said so yourself! At this exact place. When you so kindly informed me of my upcoming nuptials," Wei Wuxian argued. 

Jiang Cheng"s eyes narrowed. "I never said that." 

Wei Wuxian thought back to the meeting. He had been called, quite unceremoniously, to Jiang Cheng's study. He had been drinking and did not wish to meet his brother, reeking of alcohol. But he had also not cared enough to do something about it. 

He had staggered up the steps, a picture of arrogance and had knelt, waiting until Jiang Cheng had sent the eunuchs out to rise again. He had asked Jiang Cheng the reason behind his summons, cracking a joke or two. 

Jiang Cheng had scowled and said, "I know you understand how precarious of a situation we are in. As such, we need allies." 

Wei Wuxian had sensed something wrong was coming with that opener of a sentence. He had listened as Jiang Cheng gave a pretty little speech of how unstable his position was and how they could not afford another rebellion. How the best and only way to ensure a permanent alliance was through marriage. Trade could be shut down, agreements could be broken but marriage? Marriage was forever. 

"No. No. Uncle said that we would not need to marry against our will," Wei Wuxian argued, the words of a dead man his only defense. 

"Father lived in a time where the thought of the Wens rebelling against us did not even cross our minds. We are not in the same times, Wei Wuxian. I don't have a choice." 

"You can't really be marrying me away!" Wei Wuxian had shouted. 

"I am not marrying you away. You are the Prince of Yi. I did not give you that title for you to live in someone else's home. They would be marrying you." 

"You can't. You can't do this. For an alliance, Jiang Cheng? You want me to keep a spouse for a fucking alliance?" 

"It is for the good of the country. We are in unstable times. We look weak, being toppled by the Wens like that. Our victory was hard fought. We need this to appear united. We need this to ensure loyalty." 

"And what about me?" Wei Wuxian had said, in a quiet voice. 

"Marriage would do you good. You are wasting away. Do you even do anything except drink? Have you taken any of your responsibilities seriously? You told me you were going to help me rebuild." 

Wei Wuxian had not been able to believe his brother's words. Had it not been enough to win the war? How much more did he have to do? Anger had ignited every single one of his nerve endings. He had clung to it, the only stable thing in his life then. 

Jiang Cheng had continued, "Your cultivation is affecting you, Wei Wuxian. The sect leaders have their feathers ruffled too. You need to direct your energy and time elsewhere. A spouse would do that. It would also settle down the sects to know one of their own could keep an eye on the Prince of Yi." 

So this all had been about his demonic cultivation? Wei Wuxian had laughed bitterly, even as his anger overpowered his mind. Wei Wuxian had heard the rumours. The clamoring from Sect Leaders for Wei Wuxian to be put down like a dog, to be locked away, to be shackled. So this had just been another way of controlling him?

"Who? Who?" Wei Wuxian had asked, wanting to know the name of his jailer. Far from his childhood dreams of getting married to someone he loved, he would be getting a spy in his household instead. 

Their sister had already been married off to Jin Zixuan. That had left two great sects. The Nies and the Lans. Jiang Cheng had then explained how Nie Mingjue had refused to offer his beloved brother, Nie Huaisang's hand, a situation that had not taken anyone by surprise. But the Lans had not hesitated to offer their second Twin of Jade, Lan Wangji. Jiang Cheng had accepted on behalf of Wei Wuxian. 

"Lan Wangji agreed to marry me? Surely, you didn't hear it right," Wei Wuxian had laughed. 

"He did. Marquis Lan said he is quite excited to play Clarity for you." 

Wei Wuxian's laughter had cut off at that. Of course. Of course the noble Hanguangjun would be the one to volunteer for this undesirable position. Of course he would be the one to sacrifice his own chance at happiness to make sure the monster that was Wei Wuxian had been kept away. 

Hurt had joined the foray then. It had swirled like a cocktail, mixing with anger and resentment and shame and it had resulted in Wei Wuxian kneeling down, thanking Jiang Cheng for making the match and leaving before Jiang Cheng could say anything else. 

As Wei Wuxian's mind wandered back to the present, he heard Jiang Cheng say, "Do you mean that whole thing about the sects wanting someone to keep an eye on you?" 

Wei Wuxian nodded. 

"I did not mean it like that. I did not mean Lan Wangji was sent here as a spy," Jiang Cheng blurted out.

"What." 

"It was true that the sects were unsettled by you and it was true that they would be calmer knowing someone they could trust was tied to you. But there was no talk anywhere of Lan Wangji controlling you. Where did you even think that? He could not even stop you from sneaking alcohol into class when we were fifteen. You think he could stop you now?" Jiang Cheng pressed the bridge of his nose in frustration. 

"Then- then why did he marry me?" Wei Wuxian asked. 

"Fuck if I know. Probably pressure from the Lan family. He was doing his duty, just like you." 

If Wei Wuxian had thought that he could not breathe after his meeting with that Su- person, it was nothing compared to what he felt now. 

"Hey, hey, get up." 

Wei Wuxian felt someone slap his cheek and he focused his eyes to see Jiang Cheng's face hovering over him. He realized he was on the ground and Jiang Cheng was bent over, one hand over his shoulder and the other raised to slap again. He gasped for breath, looked at Jiang Cheng's face and started crying. 

***

Lan Wangji landed down in Lanling in the late afternoon. He pondered over whether to get an early dinner or go straight to Luo Qingyang. The problem was that Luo Qingyang resided within the Jin sect. Visiting her would mean visiting the Jin sect in an official setting, where he would be Prince of Yi's Consort and almost everyone else beneath him in rank. It would mean endless formal dinners, bowing, conversations with Marquis Jin and worst of all, seeing the Grand Princess. In all honesty, he quite liked Grand Princess. She was sweet and caring, and they shared a common passion of loving Wei Wuxian very much. 

However, like his own brother and uncle, he did not wish to see her now. He did not want that eternally kind gaze to be directed at him full of sympathy, as he told her just how much he had ruined her brother's life. 

But he could not step in Lanling without greeting them or he would risk causing great offense. He therefore decided to take off his forehead ribbon, put Bichen into his qiankun pouch and rent a room at an inn, before going out to Koi Tower. 

Standing down the street, out of line of sight of the guards, he paid a child to go up to the entrance, ask for Luo Qingyang and tell her that her cousin, Yuandao, was waiting for her. He knew that she would remember the time Wei Ying had flirted with her, much to Lan Wangji's jealousy. 

Lan Wangji and Luo Qingyang had become friends when Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian had saved her during the war. A group of Wen cultivators had cornered her during a battle and attempted to brand her. Wei Wuxian had taken the brand on his own chest to save her, while Lan Wangji had dispensed off the cultivators. 

After that, Luo Qingyang had not been shy in approaching both of them in their war camps, fussing over them like a sister. Lan Wangji had accepted her attempts at friendship while Wei Wuxian, fresh from skinning Wen Chao and killing Wen Zhuliu, had not been as welcoming. Their friendship had still stuck though, even if Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji's own friendship had dissipated into thin air. 

"Yuandao!" 

Lan Wangji smiled at Luo Qingyang's voice and turned to watch run down the street, her sword in her hand.

She smiled back. "You did not tell me you were coming here!" 

"I apologize. It had been an impromptu decision." 

Luo Qingyang laughed and clutched his elbow. "Okay, let's go. I managed to get today off. I could not have my favourite cousin waiting alone in an inn somewhere." 

He nodded and they walked a considerable distance away from Koi Tower before she turned towards him, her hand still latched on his elbow, and said, "Seriously, Lan Wangji. I did not expect you to be here. And in disguise at that." 

One would argue that it could hardly be considered a disguise but she was correct. A Lan cultivator without a forehead ribbon was in disguise. 

"I wished to see you but I did not wish to enter Koi Tower." 

Luo Qingyang nodded. "Hmm. It can be quite a hassle. And we would have no time together."

Lan Wangji led her back to his inn, where they had an early dinner, which Luo Qingyang was thankfully not opposed to. 

She filled him in on her life, sect happenings and inter-sect gossip she had heard. Only Luo Qingyang realized that while Lan Wangji did not participate in relaying gossip and did not care much for what happened in other people's lives, he was not opposed to listening, especially with Luo Qingyang's style of storytelling. Moreover, the feeling of being included was worth listening to Sect Leader Yao's exploits. 

"And she caught him red handed. Can you imagine that? All the poor sod has to do is ask her if he can take that girl in as a concubine but no, he would rather move her into his personal quarters and hope that no servant tattles!" Luo Qingyang made a face as if questioning the intellectual capacity of Sect Leader Yao. 

Lan Wangji had to admit that he was too. Thankfully, Wei Wuxian had never brought someone home. He regularly visited flower houses, a fact that still twisted Lan Wangji's insides, no matter how much time had passed since their wedding. But he had never asked for Lan Wangji's permission on bringing home a concubine. Lan Wangji had lived in dread for that day for months after his wedding. But Wei Wuxian had never done it so his fears had slowly alleviated.

"Tell me," Luo Qingyang asked, bringing his attention back to the present, "how is he?" 

There could only be one 'he'. Lan Wangji took a sip of his tea. "He is well. Or will be well." 

"What do you mean?" 

Lan Wangji pursed his lips, bracing himself against the onslaught of emotions that this topic brought. And then, he started to explain. This was why he had come here after all. He could not cry to his brother or his uncle, who would feel guilty for their hand in this situation. He could not cry to the Grand Princess, who would always be Wei Wuxian's sister first and Lan Wangji's sister-in-law second. That only left his only friend, Luo Qingyang. 

Luo Qingyang's face twisted in concern, growing more worried with each passing second. 

When he finished, he was surprised to see Luo Qingyang slam her tea cup against the table and say, "I am going to kill him." 

She stood up, sword in hand, and Lan Wangji rushed to calm her down in his confusion. "It's not his fault. It is mine." 

"How is it your fault?" She snapped, immediately making Lan Wangji close his mouth. 

He looked around the crowded dining hall and said, "Maybe we should carry on this conversation upstairs." 

Luo Qingyang followed his gaze and agreed. They drank the rest of their tea and moved into his rented room, sitting down at the low table in front of the brazier. 

"I would really like to hear this, Lan Wangji," Luo Qingyang said, her hand against her chin and a sarcastic angry smile on her lips, "How is it your fault?" 

"I should have realized he did not appreciate my presence. I knew he did not want to see me but I did not know me being his husband was such a hindrance to him. I should have realized." 

"And what would you have done, if you had realized? As you said, you can't separate. You can't divorce. You were going to marry him anyway, no matter who he was, for the sake of your family and sect. So what could you have done?" 

Lan Wangji bristled. "I could have gone to Yiling sooner." 

Luo Qingyang groaned. "Lan Wangji. Your husband not wanting to be in the same city as you is not something that is your fault. Your husband neglecting his marital duties and responsibilities as a husband is not something your fault. This is not normal." 

"But," Lan Wangji began, unsure. "But if I had been a different person, maybe he would not have hated me so much. Hated his life for being tied to me. I have brought him unhappiness." 

Luo Qingyang's anger calmed down. "If he does not see you for the treasure that you are, it is his loss. You cannot blame yourself for not suiting to his taste. You can only blame fate for not having the one you love, love you in return. You know better than anyone that love is not something you can temper to your own volition. Similarly, who you are is not something you can change according to the tastes of the one you desire. Wouldn't that be a falsehood, Lan Wangji? Wouldn't it be unfair to both you and him?" 

Lan Wangji frowned, letting her words sink in. He could see reason in them. It would be deceitful to pretend to be someone he was not for Wei Wuxian. "What do you suggest I do, then?" 

"For one, talk to him. An honest conversation. You did not go to him with these rumours, you went to his friend. This should not be the way things are done in a marriage. If, after that conversation, you find that you and him wish to go your separate paths, then I will wholeheartedly support you. I will come visit you in Yiling. You deserve happiness, Lan Wangji, and these two years with Wei Wuxian have been anything but." 

He wanted to argue, to say that no, he was not unhappy in his marriage. But that would be a lie. To be so close to Wei Wuxian and still not be allowed in was a great agony. To pretend in front of strangers that he held the keys to Wei Wuxian's heart while he did not even know where his husband was half the time was painful. He had been lonely in the Capital. He had been so close to the love of his life and so lonely. 

Maybe distance would make things better. Maybe not seeing Wei Wuxian's face everyday, not feeling his presence in every corner of his house, not being reminded that his husband preferred the company of others over him would make it more bearable. 

He had to go back to the Capital anyway to tie up his responsibilities and move his things to Yiling. He supposed he could bear to have one honest conversation with his husband at that time. 

Lan Wangji nodded. "I will talk to him. After I return from Gusu." 

"I am glad to hear that. I know you won't go back on your word," Luo Qingyang said, smiling warmly. She then adopted a mock severe expression. "Now tell me why Marquis Lan is still single." 

*** 

Wei Wuxian had turned into a sobbing, snivelling mess. In front of Jiang Cheng of all people. Why, oh why, couldn't it have been Jiejie? 

He was hiccuping into Jiang Cheng's handkerchief, tears and snot spreading everywhere. 

"Calm down, Wuxian. Calm down," Jiang Cheng awkwardly consoled him, which just made Wei Wuxian cry even harder. He was so pathetic that even Jiang Cheng was being nice. 

Wei Wuxian was a grown man! He was a War General! He had commanded armies against the Wens. He had laid waste to hundreds of cultivators with a single tune of his dizi. He was the nightmare that scared cultivators twice his age into hiding. And he was crying like a damn child. 

"You don't understand-" he gasped for breath, "I treated him" -another hiccup- "like shit for two years," -hiccup- "and for what, Jiang Cheng?" 

"Stop talking. Catch your breath first," Jiang Cheng instructed. 

Wei Wuxian shook his head. Jiang Cheng did not understand. He had neglected his husband! Hanguangjun! Lan Wangji! Lan Zhan! He had neglected Lan Zhan for two years. Thrown him to the wolves. And for what? 

If Lan Zhan had really not been trying to control him. If Lan Zhan simply disapproved of his cultivation but still cared for him as a friend, then what had been the meaning of all that? Then for what reason had Wei Wuxian treated him like that? 

Lan Zhan had come to the Capital alone, with two maids. He had no friends here. No support. And Wei Wuxian had spurned him away, time after time. 

He cried harder. 

Lan Zhan must have had hopes and expectations from this marriage. He was dutiful. He was not like Wei Wuxian. If he still believed them to be friends, then he would have sought support, companionship, warmth. And what did Wei Wuxian give him? Harsh words, closed doors and his empty absence. 

He cried harder. 

He remembered the early days when Lan Zhan brought him cooked dishes. Wei Wuxian had thought it was another tactic to get him to listen to Clarity. 

He remembered the times when Lan Zhan knocked on Wei Wuxian's doors, asking to spend time together. Wei Wuxian had closed the door on his face with a fake sorry smile. 

He remembered when Lan Zhan had asked Wei Wuxian to accompany him on night hunts. Wei Wuxian had wanted to, itched to, had in the temptation of being Lan Zhan's night hunt partner, forgotten his hurt and resentment. Until he remembered that Lan Zhan would expect him to travel on Suibian. Lan Zhan had ended up going alone. 

Each memory brought a fresh batch of tears to Wei Wuxian's face, until he had none left to shed. Jiang Cheng silently handed him a cup of water, which Wei Wuxian drank greedily. 

Still hiccuping a little, he said, "Thank you." 

He was so stupid. So stupid. He was a fucking idiot and because of that, Lan Wangji had suffered. Their marriage had suffered. He was so stupid. He was so stupid. 

"Jiang Cheng." 

"Hm?" 

"Order your eunuchs to cane me." 

Jiang Cheng sputtered. "What? No. You are not taking the easy way out. You are dealing with this. You are going to find your husband and sort out your marriage." 

Wei Wuxian hung his head in shame. "Just five strikes?"

"No." 

***

Lan Wangji spent another day in Lanling, before departing for Gusu. It had been refreshing to meet Luo Qingyang and he knew he could always count on her to set him straight. 

He had planned to fly straight to Gusu, expecting to reach in a day. He had initially planned to fly through the night but the weather had been unexpectedly cloudy, making it too dark for Lan Wangji to be sure of where he was going. After staying a night outside under the night sky (thank god for Zhi Xi, who packed his bed roll), he departed again. 

His mind went back to going over the conversation he had with Luo Qingyang. You were going to marry him anyway, no matter who he was, for the sake of your family and sect. So what could you have done?" 

He wondered whether he would have gone through with the marriage if he knew just how much Wei Wuxian abhorred his company. He would like to think that he would have. For Gusu Lan. For his family. For his brother. 

But seeing Wei Wuxian unhappy had always been near unbearable. Seeing him unhappy and unable to do anything about it bothered Lan Wangji more than he ever cared to admit. It made him feel restless. Helpless. And Lan Wangji had only ever felt that one other time, when his mother died. 

But he had no clue that Wei Wuxian opposed their marriage. He knew he had angered Wei Wuxian through the war, damaging their relationship until it could barely be called one. But when he saw that marriage proposal acceptance, he thought maybe Wei Wuxian was willing to reconcile. Lan Wangji understood that Wei Wuxian was doing this for duty but the fact that he had accepted Lan Wangji's proposal and not any other sect meant that he might be willing to go back to the way things were between them. 

Lan Wangji could see now how stupid that was. Truth be told, he was blinded by hope, a glimmer of his teenager dream coming true. He would never have thought that his dreams could turn into reality and a real tangible possibility of that happening had made him lose sight of reality. Perhaps Luo Qingyang was right, no one went into marriage not expecting it to work. 

Lan Wangji's first sign of his dreams crumbling had been his wedding day. He had been busy from morning to night, but he had noticed Wei Wuxian's cruel smile. He had noticed the mask on his face, the way his eyes had sharpened when they had landed on Lan Wangji. He had felt something was wrong. He had no time to ask him before they took their bows but he had brought it up during the banquet. 

"Wei Ying." 

His husband had turned towards him, that sharp smile still on place. Lan Wangji didn't know if his husband had seen the concern on his face or if he had assumed that that was what Lan Wangji had been feeling because he had suddenly laughed and patted Lan Wangji on the arm. "Drink, Hanguangjun." 

Their wedding night hadn't gone much better. Wei Wuxian had strode into the room, Lan Wangji trailing behind him. He had taken out wine and poured some tea for Lan Wangji. They had sat in silence until Lan Wangji had asked if he could play something for his husband. 

Wei Wuxian's smile had dropped. "And what would that be? Clarity?" 

"If you would like." 

Wei Wuxian had laughed. "A choice? Really, Hanguangjun. You know how to make me feel special." 

He had then stopped abruptly, his expression becoming serious, his eyes glaring. "No, I do not want you to play." 

They had sat in silence some more before Wei Wuxian had finished his cup of wine and walked out without another word. Lan Wangji had stayed up to wait for his return but to no avail. 

Much of their conversations after that had passed in a similar fashion. Lan Wangji suggesting an activity, Wei Wuxian mocking it and then walking out. After a while, Wei Wuxian began avoiding Lan Wangji altogether, who finally got the hint. 

Lan Wangji sighed. He should stop obsessing over these memories. They did not help anyone. He had done enough introspection for a lifetime. The only thing that mattered was the conversation he would have with his husband after returning. 

He distracted himself by looking at his surroundings. It was around noon. He was flying over a dense forest and had long since passed the last village. Calculating how long he would need to fly until he stopped for lunch, he suddenly heard the sounds of someone calling for help. 

He flew down on the rough pathway, just big enough for a cart, and saw a young man dressed in black, lying down on the side of the road. 

The man turned to Lan Wangji as he saw him and exclaimed, "Daozhang, help me! Some bandits jumped me on this path, robbed me of my money and stabbed me in the leg." 

Sure enough, there was a small knife sticking out of the man's thigh. Lan Wangji checked the wound and the man's pulse. "There is not much bleeding but we need to get you to a healer before we try to take out the knife." 

"How will we go, Daozhang? I cannot walk that far." 

The nearest village was over 15 li away.

"You can travel on my sword," Lan Wangji said. 

"Oh, thank you, Daozhang. I am forever grateful." 

Lan Wangji unsheathed Bichen, helped the man stand on it and then stood in front of the man. "Hang on to my robes, I will make it quick." 

"Yes, Daozhang." 

They flew over the trees and Lan Wangji tracked the road so that they would not miss the village. 

He suddenly felt a sharp stinging sensation on his neck.

"Sorry, Daozhang. But excessive kindness can be harmful for your health, you know." 

It was the last thing he heard before he fainted, their bodies hurtling to the ground. 

***

Wei Wuxian's men found a lead to a village called Boxiang. Supposedly, three cultivators had been night hunting there. Wei Wuxian initially dismissed it, but when his scout stressed that an inn keeper recognised Bichen, Wei Wuxian used the transportation talisman and travelled over there. He brought Lan Zhan's box with him. 

Going there was of no real use because Lan Zhan had already left the village three days ago, with no hint of where he was going. The inn keeper did not know who the other two cultivators were and his description of their appearance didn't resemble anyone Wei Wuxian knew. 

They didn't wear Sect uniforms, but neither did Lan Zhan. They could have been anyone, for all Wei Wuxian knew. 

It was annoying to think that Wei Wuxian had missed Lan Zhan by just three days. But really, he had missed him by over five years, since they met again after the Burial Mounds. What he had done, how he had treated Lan Zhan was pretty unforgivable but their family motto wasn't "Attempt the Impossible" for nothing. He was going to go to his husband and grovel until he took him back. And then he was going to show him the courtesy and care he should have shown him years ago. 

He was going to return the care and friendship Lan Zhan had shown him ten-fold. He was not going to let Lan Zhan's disapproval of demonic cultivation get in the way any longer. All he had needed to know was that Lan Zhan cared. All Wei Wuxian had ever wanted since he set his eyes on that beautiful, golden eyed Lan cultivator was to have him care. 

He had been obsessed with getting Lan Zhan's attention during their time together in the Forbidden City. It had been a thrill every time to see those angry golden eyes watching him. He had not cared if it was a negative reaction, he had just wanted one. But it did not mean that he did not care about Lan Zhan's opinion. Quite the opposite. Getting scolded by him for harmless tricks and pranks had been one thing, but seeing the look of disapproval in those eyes for his chosen way of life was another. 

He had mistaken that disapproval for hate, had mistaken his care for animosity. He was not going to do so again. Lan Zhan could disapprove how much he wanted. As long as he still considered Wei Wuxian his friend, it would be enough. 

Wei Wuxian considered if he should travel back to the Capital or stay here. The talismans took a lot out of him everytime and he still wasn't sleeping properly. He was very embarrased to admit that the couple of hours of sleep he did get was after he had stolen Lan Zhan's incense burner. It smelled like sandalwood, a calm comforting presence. It was so good that Wei Wuxian had half a mind to fix one in each room and let their whole house reek of sandalwood. 

Other times he was plagued with weird dreams. Not nightmares exactly. Just dreams of him chasing after something. Sometimes it was Lan Zhan, sometimes it was rabbits weirdly enough, and other times it was just a nameless entity. The dreams frustrated him so much that he almost started prefering his usual nightmares. Wen Ning said that it was a result of stress. 

Wei Wuxian was just finishing his tea when Wen Ning came into the room they had hired. His face looked anxious and it automatically set Wei Wuxian on edge. He clutched Chenqing and stood up. "What? Do they have a lead?" 

"They do…. But…" 

Wei Wuxian rounded on him. "What?" 

Wen Ning swallowed. "One of our Lanling scouts saw him there." 

Wei Wuxian's widened. "At Koi Tower?" 

Lan Zhan could have gone to meet Jiejie. 

"The scout saw him going into an inn with a Jin cultivator, Lady Luo. His Highness had removed his forehead ribbon and did not have Bichen so the scout was not sure if it was him. He waited until the next morning to confirm and it was indeed His Highness." 

Mianmian? He went there to meet Mianmian? 

"Okay, Wen Ning. Let's go then. What are we waiting for?" Wei Wuxian asked, eager to not miss his husband this time. 

Wen Ning pursed his lips. "According to our scout, Lady Luo spent the night at the inn with His Highness. I paid the scout to keep his mouth shut but till the news reached Boxiang, it had already passed several people's hands…." 

Wen Ning kept talking but Wei Wuxian had stopped listening after the first sentence. Spent the night. Spent the night. Lan Zhan and Mianmian? 

His body felt like it was buzzing. He felt disconnected from his surroundings, the shock of the news numbing out everything else. Could it be? 

No. 

But what if? 

His mind flashed back to when all three of them had first became friends. How Lan Zhan had reacted when he had flirted with Mianmian. 

"Do you like Mianmian?" 

Wei Wuxian had asked that with a smile on his face and Lan Zhan had only glared at him, no confirmation or denial. 

He knew they were friends. He knew she was one of Lan Zhan's only friends. But that's what he had thought they were. Friends.  

It would make sense. It would make a lot of sense. She was beautiful, sweet and soft spoken but fierce when she needed to be. She and Lan Zhan would suit so much. Much more than someone like him and Lan Zhan. It would be perfect on paper. 

And it wasn't like Lan Zhan didn't deserve happiness of his own. It wasn't like Lan Zhan wasn't trapped in a miserable marriage with a man who didn't even speak to him if he could help it. No one would blame Lan Zhan. Lan Zhan deserved to be happy. Deserved someone who cared. 

Then why were Wei Wuxian's insides threatening to come out through his mouth? Why was his heart twisting around itself? Why was resentful energy giving into the part of him that called for blood? 

"Your Highness? Your Highness?" 

Wei Wuxian refocused his attention on Wen Ning, clenched Chenqing harder and said, "Let's go."  

He and Wen Ning arrived at Lanling half a shi later. Wen Ning hadn't yet received a report on whether Lan Zhan was still in Lanling or not. So, when they reached the inn mentioned in the report, they split up. Wen Ning went to talk to the scout and Wei Wuxian talked to the inn keeper. 

He must have painted a very scary picture indeed because the inn keeper offered him money before he even got a chance to speak. 

Lan Zhan had not been wearing his usual garb but Mianmian had still been in her Jin sect uniforms. So he asked, "Have you seen two cultivators around here, one a lady in Jin sect uniforms and the other… the other a man, around my height, pale, golden eyes and really beautiful?" 

The inn keeper sputtered. "Yes, yes, Young Master. They spent the night here. The lady left yesterday morning and the man in the evening at Xu shi." 

Resentful energy cackled through the air, licking Wei Wuxian's wounds, promising vengeance. "Did the man say where he was going?" 

The inn keeper backed away, his face pale and sweaty. "N-no, Young Master. He was not the talking type." 

Yesterday evening. It hadn't been that long. If Lan Zhan was flying, he could still catch him. He turned around without a word and found Wen Ning outside. "He doesn't know where Lan Zhan was going. Did your scout follow him?" 

Wen Ning nodded. "He did but he lost him in the dark when they left city limits." 

Wei Wuxian swore. "Let's go to Koi Tower." 

Wen Ning did not protest. 

They quickly walked through the gates of Koi Tower, whose guards had seen Wei Wuxian enough times to recognise who he was. On a usual visit, he would first go to the Great Hall to get the formalities over with, before he got to spend time with his sister. But today, he turned tracks to the disciple residences. He asked for Mianmian's room and confirming that she was last seen there, he quickened his pace until he came into sight of her door.

He knocked but slid the door open before she got a chance to respond. He ignored her as she yelled out his name in protest, and asked, "Where. Is. He?" 

She was at her table, a book propped open. His eyes glanced to the rest of her space and he was relieved to find no Lan Zhan or anything resembling any of Lan Zhan's. 

"I know you are a Prince but you could still do to have some manners," Luo Qingyang said, her face tense and angry. 

Wei Wuxian laughed, his voice hollow even to his own ears. "I could use some manners? Me? When you and Lan Zhan have been frolicking about all around Lanling?" 

She must have realized how angry he was, because she tensed, her sword hand twitching. He stepped towards her, using the fact she was sitting to tower over her, make her see that the reputation of the fearsome Prince of Yi was not unfounded. "I won't ask again. Where. Is. He." 

"He left already," she said. 

"Where?" 

"Why? What are you going to do?" 

Wei Wuxian snickered before dropping his grin. "I don't see how it's any of your concern." 

"It is," she stressed. "I am his friend." 

Black tendrils of energy swirled around them. He did not know anymore if his anger was feeding the energy or if the energy was feeding his anger. All his past mistakes seemed minute compared to the betrayal Lan Zhan had shown him. 

Maybe Mianmian saw some of it in his eyes because she emphasized, "Just a friend." 

Wei Wuxian paused, cocking his eyebrow. "Oh really? Spending the night together? Is that what friends do?" 

Mianmian's eyes flashed and she stood up, scowling. "Do not besmirch my honour, Wei Wuxian. Nor Lan Wangji's integrity. You are so wrapped up in your head that you really think Lan Wangji would do something like that." 

Wei Wuxian scoffed. "Aren't these just petty excuses?" 

"Wei Wuxian! You sang Hanguangjun's praises more than anyone. You know he would never do this. Look at yourself! Can you say the same about yourself? Do you think Lan Wangji isn't aware of your trips to every flower house in the Capital?" 

Wei Wuxian staggered, his anger fading away as another fear took hold. "I would never- those are for drinking. I have never. Never touched anyone. I would never do that to Lan Zhan!" 

Did Lan Zhan really think that? Did Lan Zhan feel this way too? Had he been feeling this way for two straight years? 

He had not. Not once. He had never been interested. He had had girls sidle up to him, placing their hands on his chest and he had removed them, stayed away. He had had girls whisper pretty poems in his ears and he had taken to sitting between Wen Ning and some other friend. His usual haunts knew by now to leave the Prince of Yi alone. He hadn't even had his first kiss yet! 

Drinking and making conversation with pretty girls had been enough. He did not actually want to betray Lan Zhan. He would not do that, no matter how meaningless their marriage had been. Truthfully, he had always been a romantic. He had saved his first kiss for years and he wasn't going to give it away to someone he didn't love. 

Mianmian looked at him as he had his internal breakdown. "And neither would he." 

She then sighed and said, "He planned to go to Gusu. Go talk to him." 

Wei Wuxian's eyes widened. "Thank you," he said. 

He bowed once in gratitude and turned around. As he was leaving through the door, he heard Mianmian shout, "And if you do this angry nonsense in front of him, I will break your bones myself, Your Highness!" 

Wei Wuxian laughed aloud, his relief making him giddy. 

***

Lan Wangji came to in a tiny room. He was sitting on a straw mattress, his arms bound by Immortal binding cable. He instantly felt around for his qi but found nothing. He blinked as his eyes focused in the darkness and barely kept himself from startling when he heard a voice say, "Do you know how hard it was to acquire that?" 

Lan Wangji looked at the figure sitting on a chair on the oppsite side of the room. The man in black. He was playing with the knife previously embedded in his thigh. 

"What do you want?" Lan Wangji gritted out, checking his body for any other injuries. There were some bruises, presumably from the fall, but other than that, it seemed okay. 

The man in black flicked back his hair and smirked. "Your husband is at this moment frantically searching for you. When I saw you enter Lanling, I knew this was an opportunity I couldn't drop. But you are so slippery!" 

The man stood up, opting to pace around the room, still playing with his knife. Lan Wangji noted that he was limping. So the thigh wound had not been faked. 

"You left Lanling before I could get the cable. You spiritual cultivators sure are a lot of trouble. Thankfully, we met again. Don't you think we are blessed by the heavens, Your Highness?" He smiled at Lan Wangji, fluttering his eyelashes. 

Lan Wangji would have paid more attention to the man but he was still stuck at the fact that his husband had been searching for him. For what? He had told him he was going to Gusu. How did Wei Wuxian even know he hadn't yet reached Gusu? 

"Anyways, I am going to get my money. And you will get your husband back. Though maybe you don't want him since you are so intent on running away." 

Lan Wangji glared. "Do not speak of what you do not know." 

The man laughed. "I sent your husband a note while you were sleeping, just informing him enough to send him in a panic. Should I send something of yours as proof? How about a finger?" 

He asked, waiting for Lan Wanji's reaction. When he got none, he sighed. "Well, you are no fun. I don't suppose the Prince of Yi will like me very much if I hurt you, huh? But I bet you will make the prettiest noises." 

Lan Wangji stared. How had he gotten himself into this? The man hadn't been a cultivator so he hadn't given it a second thought before giving him a ride, so sure of his own strength. 

With his spiritual energy locked away by the cable, there was little that he could do. His hands were tied too. His legs were free but the man had a knife. However, Bichen did not seem to be anywhere in sight. He hoped the man had not left the sword on the side of the road. 

Lan Wangji considered his chances. The man was injured. Lan Wangji would have to fight dirty. He was not going to stay here waiting for his husband to rescue him. Lan Wangji did not consider himself vain but even he had enough pride to find that scenario embarrassing. 

The man came closer to him, lifting one hand to wrap his finger around a twirl of Lan Wangji's hair. He then trailed his finger down Lan Wangji's robe as he spoke, "What about your robe? But he wouldn't find that particularly threatening, will he? Oh! I know. What about…"

His hand moved towards Lan Wangji's forehead and Lan Wangji thought that it was as good a chance as any. He headbutted the man, throwing his entire weight on him. 

The two crashed to the floor. He rolled over and swiftly kicked the man in his injured thigh. The man groaned, clutching his leg. Lan Wangji did not wait, throwing kicks after kicks at him, both of them still on the floor. The man defended himself with his knife, slashing Lan Wanji's legs. Lan Wangji ignored the pain but the man soon overpowered him, pinning him down with his knife against Lan Wangji's throat. 

Though Lan Wangji wasn't as strong as he would normally be without his powers, he had still trained all his life in Gusu Lan techniques. He shoved his hips to one side, changing their positions and use the freedom his legs got to knee the man in the groin. That had not necessarily been one of Gusu Lan techniques but desperate times. 

He shoved himself off the man, kicked the knife away from him and then kicked him in the head hard enough to make him pass out. 

Lan Wangji breathed harshly in the aftermath, noting absently the silence that surrounded him. He had to get away before this man woke up. He angled his hands tied behind his back to open the door and went outside, in search of his sword. 

He sighed in relief as he found Bichen. He held it in his hands. The cable was not something that could be cut. It needed someone with spiritual energy to remove it. He needed to find a Sect. 

He found a road and walked along it for several li. The man hadn't taken him very far from where they dropped, maybe because of his thigh injury. Lan Wangji's own legs were injured. His locked away spiritual energy was of no help in stopping the bleeding but there was nothing he could do about it now. 

"Your Highness!!" 

Lan Wangji whirled around, spotting two men flying down on their swords. They bore the insignia of the Prince of Yi. 

One of them turned to the other and said, "Quick. Go, inform His Highness." 

The other man flew off before Lan Wangji could protest. The remaining man stepped forward and bowed before asking, "Your Highness, are you okay? You are bleeding." 

"This is Immortal binding cable. Can you get it off me?" Lan Wangji asked. 

"Yes, yes, of course." The man moved forward, using his qi to deactivate the cable, which fell in a circle around Lan Wangji. 

Lan Wangji stretched his arms and thanked the cultivator. With his qi back within his use, he concentrated on stopping the bleeding. His legs had taken several slashes and one unfortunate stabbing. 

"Maybe we should sit down, Your Highness. Your wounds look pretty severe and- "

He was interrupted by a loud shout, "LAN ZHAN!" 

Lan Wangji looked up again to see his husband travelling on the back of the man who had previously left. They flew down but before the man could stop, Wei Wuxian jumped down the sword and ran towards Lan Wangji. "LAN ZHAN!" 

His face frantic, Wei Wuxian grabbed Lan Wangji's shoulders and peered down his body. "You are bleeding!! You are bleeding! Wait, sit down, sit down." 

Wei Wuxian tried to push Lan Wangji to the ground but Lan Wangji grabbed his wrists. "It is okay. It appears worse than it is." 

Wei Wuxian then knelt down and started lifting up Lan Wangji's robes, much to his embarrassment. The other two cultivators blushed and turned their backs on them. "What are you doing standing here? Get a healer," Wei Wuxian yelled. 

The two men flew off, leaving the two of them alone. Wei Wuxian then started cutting off strips of his robes to tie them to Lan Wangji's cuts. 

"It is okay, Wei Ying." Lan Wangji tried to grab Wei Wuxian's hands but stopped when Wei Wuxian yelled, "It is not okay!" 

Lan Wangji could see that Wei Wuxian was struggling to keep his emotions in check. He then dropped down too to get on his husband's level. 

He carefully stretched his legs out to make it easier for his husband to reach them. Wei Wuxian watched him for a moment, his throat bobbing, before going back to his task. 

Lan Wangji gently said, "Most of them are shallow. They will heal within minutes." 

"Then why have you bled so much?" Wei Wuxian huffed. 

"I did not have access to my spiritual energy. They bled during that time." 

"What did he do to you?" Wei Wuxian asked, his voice panicked. 

Lan Wangji shook his head. "Nothing. Immortal Binding cable." 

"I am going to kill him," Wei Wuxian swore, tightening one of the cloths around Lan Wangji's wounds. 

Lan Wangji placed his hand on Wei Wuxian's. "I am alright." 

Wei Wuxian exhaled. He turned the hand underneath Lan Wangji's around so that his palm faced up and clutched Lan Wangji tightly. "I am glad. But I am still going to kill him." 

They met each other's gazes and Wei Wuxian smiled slightly. Lan Wangji felt that familiar warmth spread across his chest. 

They didn't say anything until the healer came. He took off Wei Wuxian's makeshift bandages and put on new clean ones. Once he was done, Wei Wuxian asked, "Can you fly? If not, Zhou You can carry you." 

Lan Wangji shook his head. "I will fly." 

Wei Wuxian grabbed his hand again and squeezed it. "Don't force yourself, Lan Zhan." 

"It is alright." 

Wei Wuxian searched his face and then nodded. He himself hopped on Zhou You's sword and all of them flew to the nearest village. They stopped in front of an inn before Wei Wuxian turned around and told his subordinates, "Go call off the search. Tell Wen Ning where we are." 

The men bowed and left, leaving Lan Wangji alone with his husband. 

They went inside and Wei Wuxian rented a single room, which did not escape Lan Wangji's attention. 

Going up, Wei Wuxian called for a hot bath and some food and wine. 

Lan Wangji went and sat on a cushion, not wanting his dirty robes on the bed. 

When the hot water arrived, Wei Wuxian told him to get in. However, Lan Wangji shook his head. "The wounds have just been dressed. I cannot get them wet." 

Wei Wuxian frowned and then said, "Okay. What if we clean you with a wet cloth?"

We? 

Lan Wangji nodded, finding the compromise acceptable. He took off his robes and zhongyi, keeping his trousers on, and moved to sit near the bath.

Without a word, Wei Wuxian brought a cloth, dipped it in the bath and started cleaning Lan Wangji's torso. 

Lan Wangji held himself as still as possible. They had never been this intimate before. Not when they were friends. Not during the war. Certainly not after they got married. 

"Drip your hair in the water. I will wash it," Wei Wuxian said. 

Lan Wangji moved silently, resting his head on the edge of the tub. It was a little uncomfortable but he forgot about that as soon as Wei Wuxian's fingers touched his scalp. He wet Lan Wangji's hair and rubbed oil onto it, gently scrubbing his scalp. He had brought his face close to Lan Wangji's as he worked and Lan Wangji could count his every eyelash if he wanted to. He undertook the task of washing Lan Wangji's hair with the same concentration as he did anything. 

When he was done, he smiled down at Lan Wangji and said, "You can get up now." 

Lan Wangji dressed quickly in his spare robes, glad that his kidnapper had not noticed his qiankun pouch. 

He sat down at the table and waited for Wei Wuxian to finish bathing. When his husband returned, the two ate in silence. 

Though their time until now had been comfortable, Lan Wangji found the dinner to be awkward. He did not know what would happen now. He had not prepared what he wanted to say. He thought he would have time. 

When Wei Wuxian put down his chopsticks, Lan Wangji took the chance to bow and apologise. "I apologise for worrying you, Your Highness." 

"Eh?" he heard Wei Wuxian say before he was pulled up from his bow. Wei Wuxian was now kneeling right beside him. 

"Why would you apologise? You don't have anything to apologise for. I should be the one saying sorry, Lan Zhan," Wei Wuxian said, chuckling nervously. 

Lan Wangji frowned. "It was I who acted impulsively. I said I was going to Gusu and I was, but I did not take into consideration what you would think before taking detours." 

Wei Wuxian shook his head. "No. No. You have nothing to apologise for. Let me explain." 

Lan Wangji pursed his lips but said nothing. 

Wei Wuxian dragged a hand through his hair, laughing nervously. "I, I realized I fucked up. A lot. I am sorry that you had to hear from someone else what I thought about our marriage." 

Lan Wangji inhaled sharply. He knew it was true but it still hurt to hear it come from Wei Wuxian's mouth. 

"No, no. Wait. I did think those things. But I don't anymore. I don't, okay?" 

Lan Wangji did not know what to think. "You don't?'

"No! I don't. I, well , I. Let me start from the beginning. Let me tell you everything." 

Lan Wangji nodded soundlessly. He was too bewildered to do anything but listen. 

Wei Wuxian grabbed both of his hands, clutching them in his. "When, when I started practicing demonic cultivation, I knew you disapproved of it. I knew you didn't like it. I thought. I took it as a sign of you not liking me anymore. I thought you hated me." 

Lan Wangji shook his head. "Never. I could never." 

Wei Wuxian smiled sadly and squeezed his hands. "I know that now. I know. I was an idiot. I thought I had lost your respect and your friendship and I didn't waste any time pushing you away. I was hurt. When, when Jiang Cheng informed me of your proposal, I was given the impression that I was being forced to get married to appease the sects, who were scared of my power now that Wen Rouhan was dead. They wanted one of their own to tie me down and keep a check on me. That's what I thought. And when I heard that it was you who had agreed to marry me, that hurt from earlier just increased manifold. I thought you agreed to be my jailer. To convince me to give up my cultivation." 

Lan Wangji frowned. "I did not. I would never agree to such a scheme, nor was one communicated to me," he stressed. 

Wei Wuxian nodded. "I realized that a couple of days ago when Jiang Cheng called me an idiot. And I have been. I have been the greatest fool alive. I ruined our marriage because of my petty anger and resentment. I neglected you for two years because I couldn't bear to talk to you." He tilted his head forward until it rested on their joined hands. "I am sorry," he said, his voice breaking. "I am sorry, husband. I am sorry. Please forgive me, Lan Zhan. Give me a chance to make this right." 

"Wei Ying," Lan Wangji said. 

Wei Ying squeezed his hands tighter and Lan Wangji realized with a gasp that the drops falling on his hands were tears. "I am sorry. I know you don't like my cultivation. And I know I have been the greatest ass alive. But let me make it up to you. Let me treat you right. Don't leave me." 

Lan Wangji wrenched his hands away and had a second to see Wei Ying's devastation on his face before Lan Wangji wrapped his arms around him. "Not leaving. I could never leave, Wei Ying." 

Wei Ying wrapped his arms around Lan Wangji's waist in turn and hid his face into Lan Wangji's chest. "You ran away!" 

"Because I thought you wanted me to," Lan Wangji said gently. 

Wei Ying's arms gripped him tightly. "No, never. I never want you to go." 

Lan Wangji hummed, his heart too full. He wanted to remain like this but he knew that not communicating was what had led to all of this. And he was not going to make the same mistake again. "I do not like your cultivation, only because it harms your body and mind. I ask to play Clarity only because I am worried." 

Wei Ying whipped his head up to look at Lan Wangji's face. "What?!" 

Lan Wangji replied, "Mn." 

Fresh tears came on Wei Ying's face then and he wailed, "Lan Zhannnnnn!"

Lan Wangji stroked his hair. After a moment, Wei Wuxian blurted, "I have never touched anyone else! I have been to flower houses but I have never betrayed you. I need you to know that." 

Lan Wangji's hand stopped its movement, too shocked at this change of conversation. "Never?" He couldn't help but ask. 

Wei Ying shook his head vigorously. "Never. I go there to drink and talk. I would never do that to you. Even if I showed no respect for our marriage, I never thought to cross that line. I never wanted to. I wanted you to know this because if I have made you feel even a part of what I felt when I thought you and Mianmian-" he stopped abruptly. 

"Luo Qingyang?" Lan Wangji asked. 

Wei Ying dropped his gaze, his cheeks turning red. "I thought you two were together. And I was- I was so jealous. I felt like I was going to tear Lanling apart if it turned out to be true." 

"You were jealous?" Lan Wangji repeated, unable to believe his ears. 

Wei Ying nodded shyly. "I know you don't feel the same about me. You don't have to. I just-" 

"I do," Lan Wangji interrupted, perhaps for the first time in his life. 

Wei Ying blinked. "What." 

"I do. I feel the same." 

"You like me?" Wei Ying asked, his eyes wide and hopeful. 

Lan Wangji's heart felt like it was going to beat right out of his chest. "Mn. Love you." 

Wei Ying's eyes watered again, before he burst out, saying, "I love you too, Lan Zhan! I love you so much. I did not know how much until these last few days. But I have loved you for so long." He squeezed Lan Wangji with his arms, hugging him tighter. 

"I have loved you for a long time too. Since we were fifteen," Lan Wangji said. 

Wei Ying laughed wetly, his tear tracks still visible on his cheeks. "I am glad. I am so glad, Lan Zhan. I am so happy." 

Lan Wangji kissed his forehead. "Me too." 

They sat like that for a while, content to be in each other's arms. When Wei Ying yawned, Lan Wangji stood up, making Wei Ying stand with him, and the two went to bed. 

As Wei Ying laid in Lan Wangji's arms, he turned his head up and asked, "Can I kiss you?" 

Lan Wangji swallowed and nodded. 

Wei Ying slowly pressed his lips against Lan Wangji's and the two remained like that for a single moment, before Lan Wangji started moving his lips. Soon, they opened their mouths and their kiss turned deeper. Lan Wangji could not believe this night was real, let alone this kiss. He was scared that he was going to wake up any second to find Wei Ying gone and this whole adventure a giant dream. 

Wei Ying pulled away slowly and kissed his nose. "I think this was why I was so hurt." 

Lan Wangji made a questioning noise. 

"I got the chance to marry you but to not have you love me in return, or care for me, even as a friend, made me very hurt and angry." 

Lan Wangji nodded. "I felt similarly." 

Wei Ying sighed. "I wasted two years of our lives. Two years that we could have spent doing this. I am sorry, Lan Zhan." 

"Enough. No need for sorry or thank you between us," Lan Wangji said firmly. 

"Okay." Wei Ying smiled before continuing, "But you have to still put up with the tons of gifts I am going to spoil you with after this." 

Lan Wangji opted for a serious face. "I will try my best." 

Wei Ying laughed heartily, the sound free of bitterness for the first time in years. Lan Wangji smiled, his heart singing in return.