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i. domestic bliss

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Couple’s Retreat

 

When you go somewhere and everyone at the location is a couple. There are no single people. Not a good time unless you are one of the couples. Usually an awkward situation for anyone who is single. 

 

— urbandictionary.com

☼

The day started like any other: Touya woke up, the sun spiking into his eyes and splaying over his old scars like the soft duvet over his skin. He glanced to his side, spotting dull blonde sticking up like messy feathers over the pillow, and smiled. Keigo was nowhere to be seen—probably already at the office like the workaholic he was—but his little daughter, Hina, only five years old, grinned at him with a round face, unbrushed hair clinging to her cheeks in a frenzy. She had her favourite red bird-patterned pyjamas on, and she clapped her chubby hands together. 

“Good morning,” Touya said, chuckling a little to himself. 

Hina giggled back and then said something that made Touya’s stomach go cold. “I peed,” she whispered as if she were at a sleepover and divulging her deepest, darkest secret.

Her smile was wide, blindingly bright like the sun. For a second, she looked so much like Keigo.

Touya swore. Loudly. 

As he rushed down the stairs, his bedsheets in his hands and Hina sitting on his hip, clutching onto his neck as she squawked some Britney Spears song into his ears, incredibly out of tune and out of time, Touya’s other child, Riku, leaned against the wall. His arms were folded as he smirked cooly to himself. He was only fourteen, but he already acted worse than Touya did at that age. 

“I’m going to tell Dad that you swore again,” Riku threatened like the little menace he was, his lips curling up as he watched Touya run around the house, depositing the bedsheets into the washing machine and placing Hina in a chair at the table. 

Touya shot Riku the worst, most emo glare he could muster. “You wouldn’t.”

Riku was his son, and with the jagged white hair and sea-green eyes cutting through underneath his fringe, he looked a lot more like Touya than Keigo. But Touya could still see little bits of Keigo peeping through in the way Riku’s eyes sharpened, the way he followed the room silently, taking in his surroundings before he uttered a word. Touya could see Keigo in the way Riku sauntered over to the table, slid down in a seat, and declared his want for chicken wings for breakfast.

“No,” was Touya’s fast reply, and he pushed a bowl of fruit in front of him instead. “Eat an apple.”

Riku’s face fell. “But I’m a growing boy! I need the calories! You eat fruit!”

Hina cackled—a frightening sound that Touya had no idea where or who from she picked it up. “Chicken wings! Chicken wings!” she started, creating a chant that made Touya want to curl up in his bed and fall asleep again. 

He breathed a sigh of relief when his kids ran into the school building, their bags bouncing on their backs as they each joined their differing friend groups. Hina had found her own little posse, even though she had only started primary school a few months back. Touya would be concerned about the group Riku hung out with—delinquents with dyed hair and shaved sides, already sporting piercings despite their young age—but he could remember his own high school days, and truthfully, he couldn’t say a word.

In fact, the only reason Riku had white hair was because of the new crowd he hung out with. A year ago, he still sported the same soft, murky brown locks that Touya adopted him with. He wasn’t too sure what happened to make Riku want to change his appearance so suddenly, but he was a kid, and kids liked to experiment, try out new things and figure out who they really were. 

Besides, Riku was as stubborn as an ass, and Touya had a feeling that, if he said no and didn’t help him, Riku would attempt to bleach his hair by himself—and Keigo would kill him if he came home to a half-bald son. An angry Keigo was a terrifying Keigo; Touya didn’t want to have to deal with that more than he needed to. 

Keigo called him on his way to Tenko’s garage—he was in his mid-thirties, and he still lived out of Kurogiri’s basement; how he hadn’t been kicked out yet, Touya did not know. 

“Hey, hot stuff,” Keigo said, a lilt dragging his words up playfully. In the background, Touya could hear the tell-tale sounds of a printer working in overdrive, doing too much too soon, and a hundred others scrambling about desperately as they tried to squeeze the most money out of their clients as possible. 

“Hey, birdie. Hina pissed the bed,” he announced, filling him in quickly as he parked the car next to Spinner’s red truck. 

“What?” Keigo spluttered, a thump echoing as he swore quietly. He probably dropped something in his surprise. “Whose bed? Her bed?”

Touya groaned, fishing a set of his best friend’s house keys out his back pocket. “No, our bed.”

“Christ,” was Keigo’s only response, exhaustion nipping at his words. 

“What time did you leave this morning?” Touya asked. “I didn’t hear you.”

“Oh, yeah. Sorry. Someone called around four, and there was this big emergency, and I had to get to the office as soon as possible.”

Touya bit the inside of his cheek as he toed his shoes off, closing Tenko’s front door behind him. They’d had this exact conversation a million times—they practically had it every day—and Touya was tired of arguing. He didn’t want to turn out like his parents: loveless, toxic, more screams and bruises than kisses and hugs, so he held his tongue, swallowed everything he wanted to yell to his husband’s face, and took a deep breath in.

“When are you getting home?” he bit out. “It’s Hina’s parent-teacher evening tonight.”

There was a long pause. “Wait, shit, really?” Papers ruffled, and Touya could see, in his mind, Keigo flicking through his calendar, fast eyes scanning everything that would keep him from coming home until everyone had gone to bed. “Um...what time does it start?”

“Six.”

“Uh…Tokoyami!” he suddenly yelled, voice moving away from the speaker and bounding across the office. “What meetings do I have this evening?”

A voice rumbled in the background, low and young. Touya’s heart fell at the thought of another kid getting stuck in the same world as Keigo, being pushed into the same future with no time for themself, and no time for anyone else.

“Move the meeting to tomorrow.” Another hum, barely audible but Touya wasn’t even trying to listen anymore. “Well, then move it to another day!”

“Keigo, it’s fine,” Touya butted in. “I’ll just see you tonight, okay?”

“Tou, are you sure? I can make the meeting. I just need to rearrange some stuff first.”

“Yeah, I’m sure. Love you, bye,” he muttered, cutting the phone off halfway through Keigo’s response.

He tucked it into his back pocket and wandered through Tenko’s house, nodding to Kurogiri who was curled up on the sofa, drowning in a dark, misty blanket as he flicked through a worn-out book. He turned to a corridor, disappearing down some stairs as Spinner’s loud voice cut through the quiet, backed up with the tell-tale beeps of a video game.

“Dabi!” a tinny voice yelled, still high-pitched despite Toga being twenty-seven rather than seventeen. She was also still insistent on calling everyone by their stage names from their uni band days. She barrelled into him, wrapping her arms around his waist and almost lifting him off of the ground as she yelled in joy. “Thank g od, you’re here! Shiggy is being grumpy and hasn’t left his chair since yesterday.” She pointed to the far side of the room where the only light source was Tenko’s computer screen, casting an ice-blue glow onto his pale face and exaggerating his horrendous death-incarnated eye bags.

There were some days that Touya really wondered why he didn’t apply for a normal job. Maybe he would have been saner if he wasn’t surrounded by the idiots he’d known since uni. 

“Kurogiri has given up on him,” Spinner declared, still tapping away at a controller as he attempted to murder everyone on the screen. “I didn’t even try to make him move. He’s too obsessed with making sure his game is perfect.”

Touya rolled his eyes and stomped over to where Tenko was sitting, his face way to close to the screen and fingers moving at lightspeed over the neon keyboard. His hair was matted and greasy, and Touya did the worst thing possible, but he was a gremlin, so it brought him intense joy.

He flipped the light switch on the wall, filling the basement with a wonderful yellow glow, and blinding everyone who had been sitting in there for too many hours too long. Spinner screeched like a dying lizard, his hands faltering as an explosion splattered over the TV, splaying body parts and blood everywhere. Game Over floated over everything, the words seemingly unaffected by anything as Spinner cried. 

“My eyes!” Toga yelled, running around like a headless chicken. “My eyes! I’ve been blinded! Dabi, how could you do this to me!” She clamped her hands over her face, screaming shrilly as she darted around.

Touya saw the accident before it happened. He noticed Spinner slip from the ratty couch in the middle of the room to the floor, sad and depressed, and way too overdramatic for something as simple as dying in a game, and he watched as Toga ran around, spindly legs carrying her across the room. She ended right in the line of Spinner’s body. 

Toga fell face-first onto the ground, landing with a groan as she kneed Spinner in the area that made him yelp like a wounded dog, leaving him crying for an entirely different reason now. 

Tenko, it seemed, was too engrossed in whatever he was doing to even notice the chaos happening around him. It was entirely plausible that he hadn’t even realised Touya had walked into his house, nevermind was standing right next to him. His light eyebrows created a rigid, thin line over his eyes.

Touya grabbed the back of Tenko’s gamer chair and hauled it back. Tenko’s eyes widened as his fingers stretched out, desperately trying to reach out for the keyboard as he was dragged further and further away from the desk. 

He spun around, red eyes glaring under his shaggy noodles of hair, and his mouth contorted into a snarl, an expression reminiscent of the first time they’d met, each with a guitar in their hands and an ego complex when they came in the vicinity of one another. 

“I was almost done with the update!” Tenko exclaimed, his voice screechy from disuse.

Touya pursed his lips and glanced over to Toga, who was now sitting on Spinner’s chest triumphantly as if he were her chair, her legs crossed over the knee and her chin resting on the heel of her palm. Her socks were as eccentric as her personality, and Touya tried not to look at the green glow-in-the-dark eggs that were only slightly fluorescent in the overhead lights.

“Hmm,” she hummed, frowning slightly as she tapped a ruby nail against her cheek. Her eyes snapped to Tenko’s, and her lips snaked into a cruel smile. “I don’t know, Shiggy,” she let out sweetly, her voice too saccharine to make anyone feel anything aside from unease. “I seem to remember you saying that an hour ago.”

“Fuck you, Himiko,” Tenko spat as if he were bullying a twelve-year-old in the middle of a game.

Toga giggled and stuck up her middle finger, grinning wildly as her hair swished behind her. “Sorry, I don’t find dweebs who haven’t showered in five days attractive. Maybe someone like Spinner is more your speed.”

Spinner shot up at that, the most offended expression littering his features. “I shower! I don’t like guys who don’t shower!”

Tenko gaped. “I shower! I’m attractive!”

His greasy, limp, oil-licked hair begged to disagree. 

Touya pushed him up the stairs. “Go say hi to Kurogiri,” he muttered, feeling more and more like he was scolding one of his kids.

Toga whistled. “Ooh, your inner dad is coming out. What’cha gonna do, Shiggy?”

In a fit that definitely confirmed Tenko was a younger sibling, he peeled off his stinky, sweat-stained sock and balled it up in his fist, flinging it across the room until it smacked Toga in the face. 

Touya jumped out of the way as blonde zipped past him, screaming obscenities that would make all gamers quake in their boots. Footsteps thundered through the house as Tenko ran for his life. Even though they’d all grown much older, Touya felt like they’d barely changed at all. If anyone changed out of them, he thought it must have been himself. 

☼

Touya was still awake when Keigo slipped into bed. It was dark, and only the slightest sliver of mercury moon flitted through the curtains, the same colour as Touya’s hair. He was curled up on his side of the bed, his back shielding his open eyes from Keigo’s view.

He shut them as soon as the bed dipped even more, a warm weight moving behind him to place a hand on his shoulder.

“Hey, you awake?” Keigo whispered into the dark, hope lining his words with shimmery gold.

Touya held his breath, his eyes clamped shut, not a single sound leaving his lungs. He didn’t know why he waited—maybe it was some form of petty revenge, the long days from his youth where he rebelled as much as possible against his father peeking through again—but Touya kept silent as Keigo wished him goodnight and planted a small, barely-there kiss on his shoulder, before sliding away to his own side of the mattress and falling asleep alone.

Their backs faced one another, and even though they couldn’t be more than a few spaces apart, Touya felt like an entire ocean swirled between them, each relaxing wave pushing them further and further apart. It was a slow process, but Touya didn’t know how to stop it. Maybe he couldn’t stop it. Maybe this was the inevitable future of them both; their unchangeable fate. 

Keigo’s parent’s marriage hadn’t worked out, and neither had Touya’s. He wanted to hold onto the one good thing in his life, the one thing that really made him feel normal in a body that wasn’t normal at all, but it was already crumbling into ashes, slipping through his fingers like dusty grey powder and all Touya could do was watch. Every attempt he made only seemed to burn them away faster. 

Keigo wasn’t there in the morning. Another blonde, grinning face woke him up, pouncing on his sleeping form and poking at his skin, forgetting about the scars staining his skin (they were better now—much better than before—but Touya would never be able to forget about them).

Hina sang Katy Perry at the top of her lungs, creating her own morning bird song and simultaneously scaring all the other birds away in the painstaking process.

After dropping his kids off, kissing Hina on the head and grinning to himself as Riku dodged every attempt, only to run back just as Touya was about to drive off, a silent hug hanging in his eyes, he called Keigo. He gave him his daily run-down of how the morning has gone, listening silently as Keigo tried to rearrange more meetings, only to sigh because nothing could be done, and he knew that. It’s hopeless—this constant circle they were running around in, reliving the same conversations, avoiding the same words and actions. It’s hopeless, but they were doing it anyway.

“Rumi says she’s coming to the party, by the way,” Touya quickly told him, in case Keigo had to go and they didn’t get to talk until the next day. Silence hovered between them, and Touya knew exactly what was going through his husband’s mind. “Hina’s birthday party is this Saturday,” he clarified, because it’s not Keigo’s fault, but his mind is so full. He forgets the little things and then kills himself with guilt over it. 

Sometimes, Touya didn’t bother to help relieve some of the raging thoughts running around and screaming worthless things in Keigo’s head. He knew they were there, but sometimes, and only sometimes, Touya let them fester. He let them pull Keigo’s shoulders down as if he was carrying something huge and heavy on his back—his poor back was too small to bear its weight. It was killing him, but Touya had never been the nicest person in the world in the first place. It was soothing to see someone hurting a little too. 

He let Keigo fester until he thought of his mother; of all the things his father did and said, and how her ashen, horrified face looked when she turned around to see Touya, his hair bright red and looking just like his father before it melted into white like snow. Like his mother instead. 

Touya was not his father, and he never wanted to be like him, so this night, when Keigo came home late with tired bones and tired eyes, he turned in the sheets, held his arms out wide for the shorter blonde to crawl into. 

He muttered the things Keigo wanted to hear into the dark, stroking flattened hair between his fingers as Keigo nuzzled his collar, holding onto him tightly as if Touya might suddenly let go—as if the next thing to turn to ashes would be him and Keigo would left alone with nothing but space between his fingers.

☼

“Jin can’t go to the party,” Toga said over the phone, sharp and plain as if there really was no other option.

Touya frowned. He balanced his phone between his ear and shoulder as he continued making dinner, clicking his tongue as Hina darted around his legs. She twisted around the table legs as she held two Barbie dolls in her hands, dolled up to perfection with huge dresses that Touya guessed were for a wedding.

“Why can’t Jin come?”

Toga smacked her lips. “Well. So you know about how recently his wife left him and took everything and kind of ruined his life, and he’s been really depressed lately? Well, Rumi sent out a message about some life-changing trip or something, and yeah, after the last ‘life-changing trip’, Jin really can’t face her right now. He can’t deal with her and Moe. He’s delicate.”

“It’s Hina’s birthday party,” Touya countered, disbelief settling in his hands as he put some diced chicken into a pan. “She’d be devastated if he doesn’t come.”

“I know!” Toga cried, seemingly just as heartbroken as he was. “But you gotta admit, Rumi and Moe...they can be a bit much with their enthusiasm and Jin really can’t deal with them right now.”

Touya pursed his lips, eyeing Hina’s bright smile as she sat on the floor by the fridge, holding the two dolls between her and pretending they were walking up the aisle together, plastic hand in plastic hand. They turned around, and Hina giggled as she brought their faces together, superfluous happiness leaking into the air around her as if she was a sweet little onion.

“What if I made sure they didn’t say anything about whatever they keep texting me about at the party? Would Jin come then?”

Toga hummed, probably tipping her head to the side in a way that Touya wasn’t too sure was all for show or not. She was dramatic, but when it came to friends, she was uncharacteristically serious—protective in a way Touya had never seen anyone be before. 

“It’s Rumi and Moe,” Toga muttered quietly. “I don’t think they’d listen to you.”

Touya rolled his eyes. “It’s Hina’s birthday party. If they ruin it with whatever they want to talk about—whether that be the skydiving or rocket-ship-flying or whatever—”

“Skydiving was actually really fun,” Toga interjected. She was smiling, and Touya could hear it through her voice.

“Whatever. If they start showing me all those pictures and diagrams in that super detailed breakdown plan they had, I will kill them,” Touya declared dramatically before stirring the pot of soup at his side. “I’ll make sure they don’t say anything, so make sure Jin is there?”

“What’s the magic word?”

Touya cut the phone, tossing it onto the counter as he turned off the gas. “Dinner’s ready!” he called out, beginning to set the table as Riku sprinted down the stairs, the hungry stomach of a teenage boy persuading him to spend more time with his family, and not his ragtag group of friends on FaceTime or Instagram, or whatever the kids were using nowadays.

Touya served three portions into waiting plates, setting the food back on the counter in preparation for Keigo to come home, assuming he hadn’t already picked up something—most likely fried chicken—from outside for his dinner beforehand. He helped Riku with last-minute homework, both of them pouring over a maths textbook until it was ten pm at night and Touya sent his little boy up to his bed, claiming he’ll help him finish it in the morning before school. 

“Who’s guitar is that?” Riku asked him before sleeping, tucked into his blue football sheets. 

Confusion flickered through Touya’s features for a second before he followed Riku’s finger. It pointed to a dark electric guitar, neon blue flames licking up the strings and neck, leaning against a stack of books by the wall. He hadn’t seen the guitar in a long time, and Touya had no idea how it even got in his son’s bedroom. The last time he’d seen the instrument was years ago in the middle of Tenko’s basement, surrounded by Jin and Spinner (who also played the guitar), Toga (banging away on the drums with the most feral grin out of any of them), and Tenko, who was on vocals. 

They’d been pretty popular, and Touya thought they even could have made it big: The League of Villains. But then he’d met Keigo, and Tenko revealed his desire to make video games. The years passed, they each graduated, and Touya got married. 

“It’s mine,” he admitted, wandering over to pick the guitar up, feeling the familiar weight as he held it.

Riku’s eyes lit up. “You play the guitar? Are you any good?”

Touya smirked. “I’m not bad.”

“Can you play something now?”

Touya thought about it. The instrument felt good in his hands, solid and secure, something that he could do and do well. He itched to play it, splay his fingers over the fretboard and strum a chord; fill the air around them with the sound of melodic strings, soft and harsh at the same time.

Riku was excited, happy in a way that made Touya feel better about his role as a father. When Touya was a kid, he never smiled like that. His dad couldn’t ever bring happiness to his face—at least, not since he was very, very little.

He put the guitar back down, placing it gently against the wall. “I’ll play something later,” he promised. “It needs tuning,” he said, trying to justify his own nervousness. “And Hina is asleep. I don’t want to wake her.”

Riku huffed as he slumped back down in his bed, pulling the covers up close to his face. A slight pout bit at his lips, and Touya tried to tell himself these were all perfectly valid reasons. Hina needed sleep, and so did Riku. He could always play the guitar another day—show them the difference between each chord, between acoustic, electric and bass. 

“Goodnight,” Riku said as Touya left the room, closing it quietly behind him and only leaving the slightest crack open, letting a bit of light from the outside filter in so Riku was never truly alone; Touya was just one room away.

“Goodnight,” Touya wished back, and went to bed, not bothering to wait for Keigo at all. 

☼

Hina’s birthday came like the crash of an ocean wave. Children Touya only knew slightly bundled in through the front door, screaming and crying as they waved animal balloons in the air and sported their own fancy hats because, apparently, they all had an inside joke with hats. Touya didn’t even know kids that age knew what an inside joke was.

Riku stuck around for the first half an hour, but then a short girl with chubby cheeks and choppy, dark pink bangs hanging over heavily lined eyes appeared at the front door, very clearly not here for a six-year-old’s birthday party. 

“Who are you?” Touya asked rudely, folding his arms as he judged her like a loving, worried parent. 

Riku pushed past him—and only stopped from running away with this new stranger as Touya grabbed onto his arm, hauling him back by his sleeve. “Where do you think you’re going?”

He grinned sheepishly, his eyes darting to the girl’s before his face flushed the same colour as her hair. “Dad, nowhere. We’re just going to the park!”

Touya raised an eyebrow as the girl stared back at him cooly, her facial expression not changing in the slightest. There were times Touya really hated kids, and that included right now.

“Hey, what’s up?” Keigo, who had been able to find a few hours to spare for his daughter, clapped a hand over his shoulder. He reached past him to extend a hand to the girl.

All of a sudden, she looked unsure, glancing up at Keigo and Touya as if this was the weirdest thing to ever happen to her. Keigo cleared his throat and lowered his arm quickly, trying to act casual and save the awkward situation as their son died of embarrassment next to them.

“Oh, my god,” Riku whined, still unable to move as Touya held onto his arm. “I’m just going to the park. Please. I can’t sit in the same house as a hundred five-year-old kids.” His eyes were round, staring up at Touya and Keigo like a big, overgrown puppy.

Keigo took pity. “Okay, but make sure you’re back soon. And your phone is charged!” 

He swatted Touya’s hand off Riku’s arm, choosing to intertwine their fingers instead. Riku ran off as soon as he was free, the girl following closely behind him as they disappeared down the street, not following the traffic light signals at all when they crossed.

Touya scoffed. “You completely undermined me. I didn’t even get her name. We have no idea who Riku’s running around with.”

Keigo let out a light little laugh—something Touya hadn’t heard in a long time. “He’ll be fine. She looked like a sweet girl.”

“A sweet girl? Are you blind? She had piercings all along her ears.”

Keigo couldn’t help but smile as he flicked at Touya’s own ears. The piercings Keigo had fallen in love with when he first met Touya were gone, hidden away in a box upstairs, but Keigo could remember them as if Touya still wore them every day. “I can see very well, thank you. In fact—” He tapped a finger to his chin, glancing to the ceiling as he imitated a thoughtful expression. “—I’m pretty sure the only one with glasses here is you.”

“Oh, fuck off, Kei. Your judgement’s screwed.”

Keigo giggled slightly, leaning in closer and wrapping his arms around Touya’s neck. “Very,” he whispered, before bringing their faces in even closer.

“Touya! Kei!” Rumi’s loud voice caused Touya to snap his head to the side, eyes wide as Keigo landed with a muffled groan against Touya’s cheek, his lips smudging against scarred skin. Rumi rolled her eyes. “Jesus, to think you two would sink as low as to make out at your own daughter’s birthday party. Shaking my head, damn.”

“Shut up, Rumi. Don’t pretend I didn’t see you and Moe last year when Tenko’s dog died.”

“Hey!” she exclaimed, pointing her finger at Touya threateningly. “You promised never to speak of that again.”

Keigo glanced between them, natural suspicion pooling in his irises. “Speak of what? What happened?”

Rumi bounded forward, her strong legs taking her to Touya’s side faster than he ever thought possible. She clamped a hand over his mouth as her voice dropped to a hiss. “Nothing, Kei, nothing. Nothing happened. Touya saw nothing. We all know he needs glasses anyway.”

“What is it with picking on me for my eyesight today?” Touya grumbled when Rumi moved away, sashaying and swaying her long, white hair behind her.

“You’re easy to bully,” Rumi and Keigo said at the same time, and then snorted when they realised how in sync they were. Touya hated best friends more than he hated annoying little children who appeared randomly to take his son away.

“Anyway,” Rumi started, cutting to the chase as to why she really sought them out instead of sticking to Moe’s side like glue or opening all of Touya’s booze like how he knew had been done already. “You need to follow me. Everyone is waiting in your study already.”

Keigo’s eyes bulged. “My study, you mean? There are confidential documents in there!”

Rumi shrugged. “Himiko’s probably read through all of them by now, by the way.”

“Fuck!”

She grinned, her white teeth shining like a shark. “Careful, Kei. There are kids around.”

Keigo stuck his tongue out childishly and tugged at Touya’s hand, pulling him along as they followed Rumi deep into their house, away from the party and all the children watching with fantastical amazement as a clown pulled rainbow balloons from their ass. 

As it turned out, everyone was already sitting in Keigo’s study, a bunch of random chairs pulled from different places in the house filling up the room. Toga was sitting on a neon pink bean bag that Touya was pretty sure hadn’t been there before.

“Where did you get that?” he asked her, sitting in one of the only empty chairs left. 

It seemed Jin had the kind enough foresight to bring two chairs for him and Keigo, so they wouldn’t have to stand or sit on the floor. The same couldn’t be said for the rest of the group. Tenko didn’t even glance up as he and Keigo entered, too engrossed with whatever was flashing across his Switch. If Touya hadn’t known him for over ten years, he would be surprised that someone could even be like this.

Toga grinned like a menace. “Hina let me borrow it since I painted her nails.”

“When did you have time to paint her nails?” Keigo wondered aloud.

“I did her other hand at the same time!” Spinner let out, also sitting on a matching neon pink bean bag.

“It was horrible,” Tenko muttered, not too focused to slander someone, apparently.

Spinner huffed and kicked him in the leg, jostling his arm until a similar Game Over sign appeared on his screen. 

“I will murder all your children,” Tenko promised darkly, his eyes burning with pure hatred.

Rumi clapped her hands together, joining her wife at the front of the room where a projector had been set up to display a PowerPoint presentation.

“Is that my—”

“Yes, Keigo,” Rumi said, cutting him off. “We borrowed your fancy-ass equipment. In fact, that’s why we really wanted to do this here because you have the best shit out of all of us.”

Toga poked Touya in his leg. “I thought you said you’d make sure they wouldn’t do this,” she hissed not so subtly under her breath.

Touya sighed. “I texted her a warning.”

“A text? Really?” Toga screamed, loud enough for the children in the living to probably hear.

“It’s fine,” Jin promised with a smile. The eye bags under his eyes tugged at his skin. “I don’t mind. I’ve kind of missed seeing everyone together. I feel like it’s been ages since we’ve all hung out.”

Moe beamed, bright green hair flaring as she jumped up and down. “Exactly! That’s exactly what we’re here about!”

Rumi placed a sweet hand on her shoulder, calming her down to make her stop moving before she knocked one of the many things off of Keigo’s desk. 

“What’s this about?” Touya asked, his expression souring as unease settled in his stomach over leaving the kids with no one to watch over them. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed Toga bring one of his expensive wine bottles to her lips, taking a large gulp directly from its mouth.

“Well.” Rumi’s smile tightened as she stood closer to Moe, wrapping her arms around her shoulders, despite Moe standing significantly taller than her. “We’ve been wondering about this for a really long time and...we’re thinking about getting a divorce.”

Touya’s eyes widened, his lips parting ever so slightly, as Keigo stilled beside him, not even moving one inch. Jin let out the most dramatic gasp Touya had ever heard—more dramatic than a Spanish soap opera—and Toga finally placed the wine bottle down, spluttering and almost making a mess on the carpet. Spinner’s eyes bulged as he leaned forward in his spot, and Tenko finally tore his attention away from his Nintendo Switch, letting the device fall to the floor.

“What?” Keigo was the first one to speak, disbelief coating his words as sharp golden eyes darted between the two women in front of them.

Moe smiled sadly, nodding as she placed a hand over Rumi’s. “You all know how we’ve...been having a lot of difficulty over the idea of kids recently. And this isn’t a decision we’re taking lightly. We’ve been together for eight years, and this has always kind of been an issue in the background. We just don’t want to waste one another’s time if, really, we want entirely different things.”

“But you’re perfect for one another,” Toga let out, her voice small as she gazed at them, her eyes slightly shiny. “I don’t want to lose you.”

Touya looked away, staring intently at the floor. Out of everyone here, there were only a few married couples: Moe and Rumi, Touya and Keigo, and Jin and his ex-partner. Jin had recently come out of a divorce, and it seemed that Moe and Rumi were just about to enter one. Marriages weren’t meant to last, and that truth was something sitting heavy over them like the most unavoidable raincloud ever. 

“We haven’t made our minds up, yet,” Rumi announced. She stepped aside, revealing the PowerPoint behind her once again. “So we decided to go here.”

She gestured behind her as Moe grinned wildly. Pretty photographs of gorgeous scenery with sunny skies and calm beaches waved at Touya. Tropical trees danced in the corners, caught in a still as they swayed with gentle winds.

“It’s Eden,” Moe explained, excitement filling her eyes. “We’ve been on the waiting list forever and only just recently has a spot opened up for us.”

This was just typical of Rumi and Moe. From all the time Touya had known them, they’d been the biggest thrillseekers out of the entire group. It was what drew them to each other: their love for adventure and spontaneity. Together, they’d jumped off of planes, flew with ships, and soared across hundreds of miles to explore every bit of the planet that they could. Going out with a bang, with a luxury holiday at a tropical resort in the middle of nowhere, was exactly something they would do.

Pictures of people laughing and smiling as they ate at a fancy restaurant, sparks from something wonderful sitting in the background, lighting them up until they all glowed gold, flashed across the screen, followed by photos of snorkelling activities in the ocean, surrounded by all sorts of colourful fish. Jet skis and windsurfers appeared next, and Spinner gasped.

“You’re going to have a blast,” he stated, and Touya couldn’t help but agree. 

This kind of wild spirit pre-divorce holiday was something that just screamed Moe and Rumi. A part of him was a little jealous. They’d both started their marriage with an amazing honeymoon, and now they were planning on ending it with something even better. Touya and Keigo didn’t have enough time for their honeymoon, and they’d barely been on any holidays recently, nevermind having enough time even to touch one another. 

Settling down wasn’t something that was easy. 

“We are!” Moe agreed. “And you guys will too!”

“What?” Keigo blurted out, his mouth moving before his mind did. 

Rumi stepped to the front again. “The spots opened up for us, but as I’m sure you can see, it’s very expensive. We can’t afford to go, but if we bring three other couples with us, we get half price off.”

“That’s an insanely good deal,” Jin mumbled under his breath, eyes still wide and taking in the pictures in the PowerPoint. “I can’t believe you guys made a PowerPoint, though.”

Moe cackled loudly. “I told Rumi a PowerPoint was too much!”

Rumi swatted at her with a hand, missing and huffing as she turned away. “Shut up!” Moe just shook her head, adoration glittering her expression and Touya couldn’t see how these two were sitting on the edge of a divorce. 

“Anyway,” Rumi said, getting back to the presentation, “there’s this thing called the Pelican Package and, basically, it’s this all-inclusive couples retreat. You can go jet skiing, Touya!” she cried. “Like I know you’ve always wanted to! And there’s wind sailing, and hiking, and beach parties with huge bonfires!”

“Fuck, yes!” Toga exclaimed loudly. “I definitely want to do that.”

Rumi nodded her head enthusiastically. “Yeah, yeah! They have a four-star restaurant, and you won’t have to pay for a thing! You can go hiking, abseiling. There are some absolutely beautiful forest trails, and they even have a gorgeous waterfall! There’s yoga, couples skill-building, spas and state-of-the-art masseuses—”

“Wait, wait, wait,” Touya interrupted. “What was that last one?”

Rumi glanced at Moe before replying. “State-of-the-art masseuses?”

Touya shook his head, a dry, humourless chuckle escaping his lips and tugging at the scarring lining his face. “No, no. Before that.”

“Spas?”

“No, before that too. Right after ‘yoga’.”

“Oh,” Rumi let out. “Couples skill-building.”

“Yes, that one.” There was a sharp intake of breath around the room as everyone sent one another uneasy eyes. “I don’t know about you, but that sounds a lot like therapy to me.” 

Touya stared directly at Rumi. As amazing as jet skis and sun and an actual holiday with Keigo sounded, therapy was not his game. He didn’t want someone psychoanalysing his every move, every action. There was too much shit to unpack, he knew that, and he’d rather just leave it all tightly sealed in a box, never to be looked at again. Touya had spent so long trying to get over everything his father did; everything he did in return. He spent so long trying to heal broken relationships—and those relationships still weren’t healed. Everything around him felt like they were travelling on thin, flimsy ropes, and at any second, if there were too much pressure, the material would snap, and Touya would fall into darkness forever. 

Someone trying to unpack all that—because there was no way to keep it hidden, realistically—would only lead to more unease, and Touya’s relationship with Keigo was fragile enough as it was. He didn’t want to lose the one thing that really kept him sane. His family were the most important thing to him, and he didn’t know what would happen once he was put under a microscope.

“Oh, no. No, no, no, no,” Jin rambled, sitting up and running a tired hand through messy hair. “I was in therapy for years, and it still didn’t help; I don’t want to do it again. I’m tired of talking about my feelings.”

Rumi floundered, not expecting this negative of a response so soon—so drastically. 

Moe stepped in, placing a hand over Rumi’s. “That’s the best thing about this program. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to! Obviously, Rumi and I would like to give it a go, but you guys can just stick around for the fun stuff!”

Like a wire had been snapped, the tension filling in the room flooded away, escaping through the cracks under the door and in between the unseen bits of the wall.

Toga brought the wine bottle to her lips again. “That’s a relief. I don’t want to sit in a room and talk for ages. I wanna party!”

Rumi’s face lit up again. “So, wanna do it? I need to send in my response tonight because the waiting list is very tight and, if we want to do it, I need to let them know by midnight.”

Tenko wrinkled his nose. “But—you said this was a couples retreat, right? There are only two couples in this room.”

Rumi’s only response was a snicker. “Yeah, like they’re going to check for marriage certificates. Come on. This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. Since when has something as simple as being married stopped you from doing anything?”

Moe nodded, eyes blazing. “It would really mean a lot to us if you could come. We don’t exactly have a lot of others that we would invite along to this, and we really wanna try this—to see if we have a chance at staying together.”

Keigo pursed his lips, and Touya could see the cogs working in his brain, putting each piece of information together as if it were an intricate puzzle. This really was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, and Touya could only stare at the sunny skies in the photographs, at the even sunnier smiles littering every person’s face.

“Come on!” Rumi exclaimed again, almost desperately searching each of their eyes. “As Jin said at the beginning, it’s been ages since we’ve all been in the same room together. Since when have we been spontaneous? Fun? We’re only getting older, and I don’t want to lose this opportunity when it’s so ready and right in front of us!”

“When’s the trip?” Touya asked, ignoring the sudden snap of Keigo’s head to his. 

“We’re leaving next week,” Moe told him and instantly winced at the way the room deflated again. “I know it’s sudden, but when will we be able to do this again?”

“I can’t,” Keigo interjected. “I’ve got my job and the kids. I can’t just leave like this.”

Touya’s heart sank. One week was incredibly short notice…

“Sorry,” he told them, standing up and putting his chair to the side, getting ready to join the party and see what the rest of the kids were up to. They’d been gone for a lot longer than he thought they’d be. “I hope you can find someone else, but we can’t do it. There’s too much going on here, and we’re super busy. We can’t just drop everything to go on holiday.”

Keigo stood up behind him, and the rest of the group did the same. Slowly, one by one, they filtered out of the study. 

When Touya joined the party again, he noticed Riku sitting on the sofa, shoulders hunched as he scrolled through his phone. Touya didn’t have to see his face to know that there was no smile there. 

“Hey, what happened to that girl?” he whispered, sitting down quietly next to him as kids ran through the house, grabbing their shoes before escaping to the garden and the bright sunshine outside.

Riku jumped at the sound of his father’s voice, grassy eyes wide as he glanced over his face, taking in every feature. Touya noticed that they paused on his scars, before darting to the floor again.

“Nothing,” Riku mumbled and stood up. “She just went home.” 

He ran up the stairs, and Touya almost followed him, until he caught Keigo’s eyes; his sad, little smile. They exchanged a nod and Touya sat back down again, letting Keigo run after Riku because, as per usual, Touya was the wrong person for the job. He had the wrong face, wrong voice. He chose the wrong words, and he’d never been more reminded of it than right then.

☼

It was the first time in a while that Keigo and Touya both got into bed at the same time. They both curled their feet away from the biting cold and moved towards one another. Touya turned his bedside lamp off, ready to close his eyes and will the world away in a, hopefully, dreamless sleep. When he’d first started sleeping in the same bed as Keigo, his constant nightmares—creeping up on him like a slimy shadow, biding its time in the dark but always following Touya’s every footstep, attached to him by the heels because, no matter what, he would never, ever escape his father’s shadow; never ever rise above it and finally live as his own person—had finally subsided. Keigo had seemed to cut the stringy cord, disentangling Touya from the memories that plagued his every action, and pull him into a place where he could wake up with no frown between his face, no sweat sitting between his eyebrows. 

It was bliss, but lately, Touya could feel the shadows creeping up again, poking at the depths of his mind as if he were a bear being prodded with a stick. It was a tentative action, happening slowly like the calm ocean sea, and Touya couldn’t tell which was better: suffering endless nightmares every night with no break, but knowing what was coming and to what extent, or waiting patiently, silently, with anxiety coursing through his soul as he felt the shadows reach out with dark, sticky hands and stitch itself back to Touya like an old, broken, but much loved cape. 

Keigo did not turn off his light like Touya thought he would. As the minutes passed, Touya wrapped under the sheets and his eyes already falling half-asleep, Keigo was still sitting fully up, his back against the headboard and staring at the fingers fiddling in his lap. His bedside lamp was still on, and Touya would have asked him to turn it off, or go to his study to finish work, but with the way Keigo was staring directly ahead of him, his honey eyes slightly glazed over, Touya found his words caught on his tongue. 

“A holiday would be nice,” Keigo said, at last, his voice barely above a whisper as his eyebrows—bushier and messier than usual—knitted together over his skin.

Touya let his head rest against the pillow, his white fringe flicking over his eyes. For a second, he looked like Riku. “We never got to go on our honeymoon.” It wasn’t an accusation—simply a statement; a truth they both knew but had never voiced aloud.

“We’ve been busy,” Keigo replied, making excuses for them both because they couldn’t ever do something without there being a justifiable reason for it, no matter how dodgy or suspicious that justification was. “Everything happened so fast. We got married, and then I got that job—”

“And we had to find a place,” Touya recounted, smiling a little as he remembered the time they had actually seriously considered crashing in Tenko’s basement as they saved up for a home for themselves. 

Thankfully, Keigo got a promotion and Tenko’s debut game sold insanely well, allowing them to rent out their first property together. It was a small place—only one bedroom and a tiny kitchen. There was barely enough space for them both to fit in there, so Touya ended up doing most of the cooking alone because Keigo was a disaster in the kitchen. Often, Touya wondered how exactly he had survived alone all this time—and how he’d managed to stay so in shape on top of it as well.

“And then there was Riku,” Keigo added, going through every moment in his head as they considered adopting a kid; if this really was the right choice for them. 

Starting a family was scary, and neither of them had particularly great role models to take after from their childhood. But with the way Keigo smiled, held Touya hand and whispered, “You’ll be a wonderful father,” Touya had forgotten about every worry that clutched at his heartstrings, tugging at him as if he was nothing more than a weak little puppet. Touya, for the first time in his life, had felt completely sure about something—even if the very idea of holding a kid in his hands terrified the shit out of him.

“And then, Hina.” 

Touya couldn’t stop his giddy grin. He felt like a toddler again, sitting on his father’s shoulders and clutching onto short red hair as they walked through the park, his mother’s serene presence by his side. He could remember the days as if they were a still photo hanging up on the kitchen wall. For a short while, before everything had gone to shit and the only sounds Touya heard from his mother were wails, gasps and cries—before, eventually, he only heard ice-cold silence—things had been good. Things had been more than good, in fact. Touya remembered being happy around his father, and that was maybe the worst part. If things were slightly different, maybe Touya would be living elsewhere. Maybe he would have more money and not be scared to even text his brother. Maybe he could actually stand to be in the same room as his father without feeling like grabbing a kitchen knife and stabbing him through the heart.

As if sensing where his mind had wandered to, Keigo grabbed his hand, enveloping their fingers together like soft vines. His thumb dragged over the back of his skin, just barely missing the place where old scar tissue remained. 

It was better than before, but it was still visible. Touya no longer felt like a complete freak, but little patches of faded purple and ugly wrinkles remained. Keigo still claimed he loved him with all his heart—that he couldn’t love another person the way he loved Touya, no matter how much he tried—but it sounded like hollow words. It sounded like something star-filled, honey-glazed just to make Touya feel better. 

Keigo brought Touya’s hand to his lips and pressed a gentle kiss on the back of it. “I’m going to take a holiday,” he announced suddenly, his gaze turning fierce in the flash of a second, bronze turning gold like a lamp snapping in the dark. “I’ve saved them all up, and I’m going to take them all at once. Well, not all, but you know what I mean.”

Touya raised an eyebrow. “What about everyone else at the office?”

“It’s just like you said,” Keigo muttered back. “They can survive without me for a few days. I don’t always need to be there to clean up behind everyone’s asses.”

He reached over to his side and turned the bedside lamp off. “I miss talking to you,” Keigo confessed. “I miss asking about your day, and not just hearing the short version over the phone. I want to know how the games are doing; how much Tenko and Toga are getting on your nerves. I want Riku to tell me everything that goes on in his life, and for Hina to ramble on about her favourite shows to me and not just run off to find you because it would take too long to explain everything to me from the beginning. I’ve missed out on so much. I almost missed Hina’s birthday if you hadn’t reminded me. What kind of a shitty dad am I?”

He slumped down into the sheets, pulling the duvet over his shoulders and cuddling closer as Touya wrapped a thin arm over his waist. “Let’s just go to sleep,” he whispered into the space between them, fatigue tugging at his eyelids and making them droop until only a tiny half-moon circle of cyan blue flickered back at Keigo. “We can think about this later.”

But, the thing was, Keigo couldn’t think about this later. For how analytical and sensible he was, he was a classic overthinker, and Touya knew that. He tried to will his thoughts to calm as Touya massaged a ring into his shoulder, loosening the knots that had built up unconsciously over the years. 

Keigo’s eyes flashed awake, only to find Touya sitting up in the bed, his back ram-rod straight. “Did you hear that too?” he asked, his voice slightly croaky. Glancing over at the clock, he saw it was almost two in the morning.

Another crash, louder and more definite this time, echoed through the dark, sounding more and more like it was coming from their back garden.

Something clattered and pounded, and Keigo found himself sitting up, too, his eyes wide awake as he tried to listen as hard as he could.

“I think someone’s outside,” Touya whispered, worry edging his features. 

He used to conceal his emotions behind a stoic mask, only bothering to smirk and snarl at Keigo’s every attempt to talk to him, but over time, Keigo had peeled away every layer covering his face like purple goop. The one time Keigo brought up how much Touya hid behind himself, all he was told was: “You hide more than I do.”

Keigo hadn’t been able to stop thinking about Touya’s words since that day, but at night, when the sun had set, and the moon sang high in the sky, creating background music for the stars to dance in, he’d been able to tell himself it didn’t matter. As Touya’s features softened and he revealed more of what really went on in his mind, Keigo pushed every underlying, niggling emotion away as if they were parasites.

Another crash, much louder this time and definitely coming from their garden, pushed Keigo to his feet. He reached into the bedside table drawer and opened a mini-safe. A black gun winked in his hands, a solid reassurance as he padded outside into the hall, making his way down the stairs and into the kitchen.

A shadow moved behind the windows, dark and quick. It stopped outside the glass door leading into the garden, and Keigo held his gun ready. The door cracked open a fraction of an inch, and the alarm bells took off, blaring loudly in the tentative silence of the night.

“Put your hands up!” Keigo yelled, his gun held up and pointing at the intruder.

They stumbled in the doorway, getting caught on faded curtains as they tripped to the floor, clumsy in every way that didn’t scream: burglar!

“Okay, okay!” the intruder yelled, the voice harsh in a familiar way as they held their hands up. “Kei! It’s me! Rumi!”

Keigo dropped his gun as Rumi tumbled out from the curtains, jumping to her feet and pulling her hood down, revealing long white hair and the most menacing grin. Keigo snarled, baring his teeth as he fully jumped down the stairs, running to the alarm lock pad.

“God!” Rumi complained, shoving her hands over her ears. “Can you turn that fucking thing off? It’s so loud!”

“Yeah, maybe if someone hadn’t broken into my fucking house I would not have to do this right now!” Keigo yelled back, the door alarm still ringing wildly around him.

A cry filtered into the air, sharp and painful, and Keigo could recognise his daughter’s wails from anywhere.

“Turn it off!” Rumi yelled once more, utterly unhelpful in every contribution she had made that night.

“I’m trying! Just give me a second to remember the code! God, it costs money every time this goes off, y’know that?”

Rumi rolled her eyes as the alarm finally stopped ringing. “Right, right, sorry.”

“You should be,” Keigo snapped, before turning around and facing his best friend, his arms crossed over his chest as he stood barefoot in the kitchen, the light overhead feeling too bright for such an early hour. Keigo was used to padding through the dark at night, so with the lights on, it only felt like he was a caught villain, but only Rumi’s unguilty face stared back at him. 

“What do you want?” he asked her and dropped his hands from his chest, sighing exasperatedly. 

“You need to reconsider,” she told him, stepping closer. She licked her lips, trying to wet her suddenly dry throat as she thought about the fact that she was practically begging her best friend to go on a trip with her.

Keigo, unfortunately, knew exactly what Rumi was referring to. She was a bull, and she kept at a problem until she had finally worn it down or cracked it. 

“No,” Keigo said simply, stopping himself as he turned around to wander back to bed—back to Touya’s warm embrace because he hadn’t felt it in so long. “Rumi, I don’t have time to just run off for something as nice as that. It looks great, really, and I’m sure Touya and I would love it, but we have kids, Rumi. Kids. I can’t just leave them.”

Rumi padded over to the circular dining table—it was round and small, just big enough for a new family of four. Keigo missed eating dinner with Touya, Riku and Hina. 

“I know you have kids,” Rumi said, settling down in the chair Hina always sat in. “I’m just saying please try to reconsider this. You could call even one of Touya’s old friends to look after them for a week. What about Kurogiri? He loves kids, right?”

“It doesn’t work like that,” Keigo countered, pulling the chair opposite her back and sliding into it. His limbs felt tired in a way he hadn’t realised they were before. With how it tugged at his muscles, he knew the ache had been there for a while. “Why is this so important to you, right now?” 

He glanced up at Rumi, and the expression he got back was one to make him stop everything in return. He could see the way Rumi’s hair, usually flawless, seemed to have lost a little bit of its moonlight sheen. He could see the way Rumi sat slightly hunched over, as if the weight of the day was finally weighing down on her too. He could see it in her eyes—the way her red pupils glistened with a kind of desperation Keigo knew too well. 

“I love her,” Rumi whispered, not dropping eye contact at all. “Do you know how it feels to love someone, and still not be able to do anything as they drift further and further away from you? No matter what I do or say, nothing helps it. I don’t want Moe to leave me. I’m willing to give this a go because there are so many glowing reviews about the place and everyone says this retreat is amazing—that it saved their marriage and solved all their problems. I can’t lose Moe, Kei. You understand that, right?”

Keigo’s throat went dry, only feeling like sand had been left to drain down it. The particles stuck to the sides of his air canals, blocking the passageways as he finally glanced to the side. “I’m sorry, Rumi.” 

And he really was sorry. He wished he could do more than just mutter empty words, but he had his own issues to fix. Before he could provide a solid shoulder for Rumi to lean on, he first had to make sure Touya knew he could lean on him too. 

“I’m sorry, but I can’t go. It’s just too soon. A week’s notice isn’t possible. I’ve got the kids—”

Hina’s voice shot through the kitchen and Keigo gasped as he glanced to the stairway. Hina stood alone as Touya came running down the stairs, his eyes wide. A smug Riku hovered right behind him.

Keigo blinked furiously. “I’m sorry, what, honey?” he asked, waiting for Hina to repeat what she’d just mentioned.

“I called Grandma!” she exclaimed, super proud of herself in a way only little children could be. It was such a pure expression that Keigo almost missed the way his heart dropped.

“What?” Touya muttered behind her, sitting down on the stairs as Riku sat down too.

Their son bit the inside of his cheek, tugging on it in a way Touya would do subconsciously when he’s trying to figure out something really tough, like Riku’s maths homework. “Yeah, we called Grandma, and she said she could look after us next week,” Riku explained, but it still didn’t answer anything.

Touya’s mouth opened and closed like a broken shutter. “Wha— Who— My mother?”

Hina nodded passionately. “I love Grandma Rei! She promised to sing me songs every night!”

“Oh, my god,” Touya let out, burying his head in his hands and running his fingers through his hair. “How did you even get her number…”

“I first asked Uncle Natsuo to look after us,” Riku blabbered, his words turning faster and faster with each syllable. “But he said he couldn’t. And then he gave me Grandma’s number and told us to call her.”

Touya’s face soured. “That little shit…” he muttered darkly, sibling fury rumbling behind his eyes. 

“Wait,” Keigo cut in. “Is Grandma Rei on her way here now?”

Hina nodded her head, excitement building in her features; Keigo knew it was going to be impossible to get her to fall back asleep again.

“What?” Touya cut in, lifting his face from his hands. It was dark outside, and even though Touya never spoke with his mother, it was reasonable to care and worry about her trip so late at night. “It takes hours to get here…”

Riku shrugged. “Uncle Natsuo said Uncle Shouto was driving her.”

Touya almost died. “Shouto’s going to be here?”

“He’s bringing ice cream!” Hina yelled, and she was off, screaming as she ran around the room like a mini hurricane. 

All Rumi could do was smile fondly at the scene.

“We heard you at the party,” Riku mentioned. “I came back and went to find where you were, and we heard you say you couldn’t go on that trip because of us.”

“So we fixed it!” Hina yelled. “Now you can have fun!”

“We don’t want you to get a divorce,” Riku whispered, his voice dropping so low it almost faded into nothingness. 

Keigo’s eyes bulged out of his skull as Rumi swallowed her bottom lip, looking anywhere else but at the family in front of her. She felt like she was barging in on a private moment, even if the kids knew her well enough by now.

Touya pulled Riku to him, stroking lightly over the pale hair. “We’re not getting divorced,” he stated firmly, his eyes leaving no room for argument as he stared down his kids, turning from one to the other and back again. 

Hina propped her chin on his knees, sliding up to his side like a gremlin. “So are you going on holiday then?”

Silence filled the room once more.

Touya turned his head to Keigo, silent as their eyes met and a hundred thoughts passed between them, like a log running down a heavy stream, knocking everything out of its way as it hurtled towards its destination. Keigo had run out of excuses, and besides, a week with only Touya by his side as the sun razed over them sounded nice—calming, even. Maybe this was exactly what they needed: just a little alone time. 

The moment passed, and Keigo was left alone with his thoughts. Touya huddled their kids together, turning them all around like a father penguin, and shooed them up the stairs, tucking them back into bed as the morning waxed on.

When Keigo turned back around, Rumi was staring at him with a knowing ruby glint in her eyes. The overhead kitchen light made her hair sparkle like gold, and her smile seemed to hold even more value.

“Well, it seems I’ve made enough of a mess here, so I’m going to take that as a firm, tentative yes,” she let him know, and rushed to her feet, running out of the garden door though the way she came before Keigo could even open his mouth to question what exactly did she mean?

Touya was still awake when he went back to bed, and even though Keigo was frozen, uncertainty stitched over his eyes as his face turned blank, he smirked. It was the cool, casual smirk Keigo hadn’t seen in years, and yet, it used to be one he’d see every day. He used to go to bed biting his lip over the thought of seeing it the next day, young and in love (but he’d never admit he was in love—oh, no; he couldn’t do that), and he used to spend hours under Rumi’s scrutiny, shoving her away as she cackled in his face over his new crush. 

But it was more than a measly crush, and Keigo had forgotten how much he missed that smirk. It was slightly crooked, tugging on faded purple as blue eyes ran over his body. Touya looked like a dream with his white hair splattered around him, and all Keigo could think about was what it would look like splayed over sand, mixing in with the yellow grains as he threw sunblock at him. 

“Maybe now you can finally wear that shirt I bought for you last year,” Touya suggested cheekily, knowing exactly what he was doing when he wrinkled his nose slightly.

It was a casual reminder, but Keigo could still feel the lighthearted dig under it; a gentle poke at how busy he’d been lately. He hadn’t even had time to wear a shirt his husband had bought for him—he had to go to the office, and the shirt was pretty with blue feathers running over it to match Touya’s eyes. It was a summer shirt and Keigo couldn’t wait to lounge around in it; pull Touya into his arms as he kissed little red-dotted sprinkles all over his face. 

“Shut up.” He elbowed him gently as he crawled in next to him, tiredness finally weighing him down again as he sunk into the pillow.

He still had to call the office, arrange a million things and sit through beration after beration for the sudden disappearance, but Keigo was Keigo. He’d let his employees go off on even shorter notice, covering their asses and holding the company up. He could leave for a few days; he was sure of it.

Rumi’s words hit him like a truck right before he closed his eyes, and he couldn’t help it; he had to do something. He desperately needed to make sure Touya knew exactly how much he cared for him. They were a team, but lately, it felt like they’d been in completely different races, moving towards the goal at the same time but ending at different destinations.

He rolled to his side, let his cheek rest on the back of his hand as his eyes flicked over Touya’s sleeping face—the cute slope of his nose, the curl of his lips. Keigo wanted to reach out and kiss him, but it was late at night, and everyone was tired. 

He settled on something else instead, praying his voice carried just as much feeling and emotion as he stored inside him. “Touya, I love you,” he confessed. 

A beat passed. The light from the moonlight lay over them. Touya didn’t say a single thing back.

His eyes were still closed, and his chest rose up and down steadily, a slow pattern that made Keigo’s heart relax and sink at the same time. Touya had fallen asleep, and he hadn’t heard a single word Keigo said.

It wasn’t a big thing. Touya knew Keigo loved him, and Keigo knew Touya knew that. But this—this seemed significant. It had a heavy weight attached to it that stained it purple and red, the colours of love and desperation. Keigo couldn’t put his finger on it, and his mind was swimming too far, already turning soupy as the minutes ticked by. Touya missing this moment felt like he was missing everything. Touya not hearing these words made Keigo feel like he’d missed him—like Touya had drifted past and Keigo had lost his chance to grab his hand, pull him close and keep them together.

Touya was disintegrating like grey ashes between his fingers and Keigo could only watch and stare.

☼

Touya’s hands were shaking as his mother kissed his cheek, told him everything would be fine—that his kids were in safe hands and for him and Keigo to have fun. They deserved it, apparently.

All Touya could do was nod numbly back, still too shocked with the greying hairs somehow looking different than the signature white locks, but still holding a special sheen to them that wasn’t there when Touya was younger. His mother smiled, wide and bright. She looked healthier than she had ever been, despite her old age. 

“Grandma!” Hina screamed, higher than any pitch a chihuahua could reach, and Touya almost jumped out of his skin.

His brother touched his shoulder, startling a flinch from him. “It’s okay,” he said, his voice strangely reassuring despite how monotone it was. There was no emotion in his face, but Touya still nodded, the tightness in his throat subsiding ever so slightly. “We’ve got this.”

Riku barreled into his stomach, young arms wrapping around his waist and holding him close. “Hope you have fun.” His words were muffled by Touya’s shirt, his stomach swallowing the syllables instead of his ears, but Touya could still feel the way Riku’s fingers dug into his sides.

He kneeled down, pulling his son’s face away so he could see him properly. They didn’t really look that alike before, but now, anyone could tell that they were father and son. “We’ll be back soon,” he told him, pinching his cheek and drawing a dull chuckle from Riku’s lungs.

He ruffled his hair, messing it up as if he’d just gotten out of bed, before stepping away, standing back up to his full height and finding the handle of his suitcase. “Don’t make too much trouble for Grandma, okay?”

Riku nodded back at him, his eyes round and slightly sad. Touya had never left him like this before, and even though it was just a holiday, Touya had a feeling Riku wasn’t telling him everything. He was only a fourteen-year-old teenage boy, but something was weighing down on his heart, and Touya wished he knew what, exactly, it was. Feeling helpless was, apparently, something that never went away, even as you grew from a child into an adult, and into a parent. 

Rei let out a sweet chuckle, a tender tone that instantly stilled all the raging waters bubbling under Touya’s skin. It brought a smile to his face as Riku crushed him in a hug again. Hina swarmed Keigo, buzzing around his legs like an overexcited hummingbird.

“Thanks, Mom,” he said, his hand twitching as he wondered if he should give her a hug too. 

It seemed his decision was made for him as Rei slid over to him, gentle and slow in her movements as she extended her arms, still giving Touya space and the option to turn away if he wanted to. He didn’t want to, though, and he found himself burying his face in long, silky locks, breathing in the shampoo his mother used as she stroked his hair.

“It’s good to see you again, Touya,” she whispered, and Touya could say the same thing. 

Keigo tried to give them as much time as possible, but their flight was going to leave soon, and they needed to get to the airport to join the rest of the gang. He placed a hand on his shoulder, a subtle reminder which seemed to do the trick as Touya pulled away from his mother, grabbing his suitcase and making their way to Shouto’s car. 

Keigo filled the ride to the airport with inane conversation, speaking enough bullshit to drown out any awkward pauses left hanging between the two brothers. Touya had barely known Shouto, and it felt like, now, twenty years after he’d run away from home, was way too late to try and form a stable relationship again. 

They said goodbye at the drop-off point, sweet, short and curt. Touya didn’t turn around as he and Keigo walked into the airport. 

If he did, he would not have been able to prepare for the inhuman screech Toga let out as she hurtled towards them, breaking every no running rule the airport had and acting like a complete and utter child with her bright strawberry-shaped sunglasses, alarmingly pink and blinding everyone around her. Between her hands was a smoothie Jin probably paid for, and a chameleon-coloured bum bag sat on her hip, trailing glitter behind her like a magical fog. 

She looked like a biohazard in the worst of ways. 

Touya flipped her off, pushing her away as she forced him into a selfie, smooshing her face between his and Keigo’s and pulling the most horrendous, Instagram-inspired duck face Touya had ever seen.

She pumped her fist into the air, almost flinging her smoothie away in the process. “This is going to be a blast!”

Touya was glad he wasn’t sitting next to her during the flight. He was also glad that it was Tenko who won that unfortunate ballot. No matter how old he got, torturing his friends would always bring him joy, especially if they were a certain white-haired, dry-faced over-obsessed gamer gremlin.

ii. lost in paradise

Keigo gasped as they zipped over the ocean, littered with crystals and diamonds of all kinds of colours and swarming with wildlife Touya never thought he would see in person ever. The sun sparkled overhead, filling the clear blue skies with smiles and grins to reflect everyone in the small boat.

It was a rectangular craft, and a soft roof made from a tangerine orange material sat over them, protecting them from sunburn for a short while as they were stolen away to the island of their dreams. 

Rumi had killer sunglasses on, dark and round, and sticking out from her face with cute points that made her look worthy of a runway. She sauntered over, a cheeky grin painting her rose lips and a dark red jumpsuit sitting over her skin. “Having fun, boys?” she mused, snickering quietly to herself at the blown-out eyes staring back at her, amazed grins reflecting in the dark of her sunglasses.

Touya could see himself: spiky white hair flopping over his forehead, hiding the slight sweaty sheen sure to be waiting under there, and the sun-induced flush sitting high on his cheeks. He didn’t know he could look like this; he almost didn’t recognise himself. 

Keigo practically beamed, radiating sunshine himself as he pushed his own sunglasses—actually, Touya’s sunglasses that he’d stolen and never, ever bothered to return—to the top of his head. More blonde strands stood up, spiking into the air like a messy chicken’s nest. Touya wanted to snicker, poke at the hair as he reached out to tickle Keigo’s sides; draw a hundred laughs and giggles from him—enough to paint the sky a sweet satsuma gold.

“Rumi! This place is amazing, holy shit!” Keigo grabbed Touya’s wrist, tugging him as he ran to the boat’s side, leaning over the edge and reaching his arm out, the little bangles he’d picked up from duty-free shops on the way here jangling on his slightly tanned skin (it used to be more tanned, but Keigo had been spending more time in an office over the past few years than out of it). He almost skimmed the water surface, and a couple light grey-blue masses swirled under the waves, rising to the surface in a pretty pattern that Touya couldn’t find a way to drag his eyes from. “Oh, my fucking god. There’s manta rays!”

Toga squealed, dancing around as she snapped pictures of everything and anything. She’d tied her hair into space buns, and Touya couldn’t help but think of his uni days when she was still in high school and wishing she wasn’t, and they all jammed out to crappy music together as if they were hot shit. They did end up being fairly hot shit, in Touya’s opinion, but seeing her smiling as she threw her hands in the air, dancing around like it was ten years ago and they all weren’t semi-functional adults with jobs and mortgages and taxes to deal with, and everything else life threw at them, made Touya feel like he was young again.

It was just them, and they were truly like before, doing stupid, impulsive shit as if it wouldn’t have any consequences—or like they wouldn’t be around long enough to deal with them. It was refreshing in a nostalgic kind of way.

“There’s no signal out here,” Tenko whined, his life already falling apart as he tapped away at his phone fruitlessly. 

Spinner poked at his skinny, sickly pale arm. “Yo! Look around you! There’s fish in the ocean!” 

Tenko didn’t bother to look up from the screen, only peeved at the way the sun was reflecting off of it and making it hard to see what he was doing—not like he could do much, anyway.

Moe sat on the other end of the boat, taking pictures along with Toga and documenting every moment as if this was the most important thing in her life. Touya guessed that this trip might end up being that exactly for her.

The boat slowed to a stop, hovering right next to a small wooden dock that led onto the island. Sand filled the space around the edges of it, circling under the wooden planks running up to a large gazebo, also made of honey-bronzed wood. Everything looked pretty as large leaves stuck out from the shrubs, hiding the roots and bases of thick and thin trees. Touya swore he saw coconuts on some of them, and Keigo seemed to only grin wider, stepping out of the boat while clutching onto Touya’s hand to help him out too. 

The group bumbled together, each of them too amazed to really move. Some ladies, each pretty with white skirts and bright flowers in their hair, greeted them on the dock, placing delicately-crafted leis over their necks and arranging them until they each felt like walking statues of art. 

Touya got a lei dotted with bright orange petals. The colour stuck out against his skin, and he guessed they only made his scars on his face look all the more obvious. He’d stopped caring about how his face and neck looked, but standing with something so lovely in nature over his skin, draping over his collar bones and meshing with his plain white shirt, Touya could only feel out of place.

“You look beautiful,” Keigo professed suddenly, all too serious like how he sometimes got.

Touya could only roll his eyes, cursing the flush still taking over his face. It ran down his neck, bleeding into the pink flowers amongst the orange ones and meshing behind his faded scars. “Shut up, birdie. Don’t be such a sap.”

Next to him, Keigo snorted, bringing his hand up to his face as if that would hide the ugly sound that had already dispersed into the air. “God, thirty-six, and you’re still emo.”

Touya shoved him away, snickering to himself as Keigo’s eyes blew out like a pufferfish and he stumbled into Jin, causing a mini domino to fall as Jin knocked over Toga, who, in turn, yelped as she crashed into Spinner. They were a messy bundle of tangled limbs and laughs on the floor, sand on the wooden planks getting into their hair and hands.

Someone cleared their throat, and Touya’s attention was drawn to his left, away from Keigo, Rumi and Moe; away from the group of people who he’d known most of his life, whether he’d tried to get to know them or not. Some of them, like Toga, had just appeared one day, sticking to his side like a clingy starfish or crying barnacle. No matter what he tried, Toga seemed to appear everywhere, and eventually, Touya couldn’t think of a day where he wouldn’t have to push her whiny face away, where he wouldn’t refuse to help her get ready for some party, only to find out that it was actually prom and Toga didn’t really have any friends to dance with.

Touya was twenty-six, then, and he wasn’t ever going to crash some high school dance hall, no matter how much Toga cried and begged, promising ridiculous things like doing all the dishes and laundry for a month—stupid things that no one ever thought she would actually do—but he did help her like a big brother would, sitting down on a chair as he braided her hair in some really overly-complicated way that required seven watch-throughs of a YouTube video before he even had the slightest clue what he was doing. 

Toga didn’t enjoy her prom party. She got there and, half an hour later, Touya was getting a desperate call filled with tears and sniffles as she ran away, begging for him to find her and pick her up. They—the League, as they called themselves (Tenko’s stupid name, not his)—clambered together that night. Spinner spent his just-earned, barely-there wage on ordering insane amounts of pizza, each with worse and worse toppings as Toga took control of the phone and made a horrendous surprise for the person who opened the door. Tenko even, for one night, let Toga play on his Xbox, watching over her shoulder like a paranoid parent as she attempted to crush his various best scores (she came nowhere close, but then again, it required a very sad personality to achieve that feat). Jin pulled in a karaoke machine from somewhere (no one asked and Jin never elaborated; Touya was sure it was procured by no legal means) and they sang the night away, voices hoarse come the morning and band practice put off as they recovered from their various hangovers. 

Touya didn’t go into uni thinking he was going to come out with lifelong friends—he’d stopped believing in that shit a long time ago—but he did. And now, here they were, baking under the sun on paradise island as a bright, blue-eyed boy with short blonde hair waved to them.

“Welcome to Eden!” he announced, cheery in a way every good, annoying host was. “I’m Mirio, and I’m so excited you’ve decided to spend the week with us! Which party is this, may I ask?”

Moe stuck her hand up, eyes firing ember-orange as she pushed her way to the front of the group. “Kamiji-Usagiyama,” she filled in, her eyebrows perking up with her words as a smile fought its way over her features, barging its way across her lips like her boisterous personality.

Touya had known Moe since he was very young, even if they didn’t talk much until recently, and that was only thanks to their conjoined friend groups. She came from a wealthy family like him, and the Kamijis had always been affiliated with the Todorokis, so he constantly saw her at family dinners and the like. However, they seemed to repel one another like clashing flames. 

Moe was loud, and even though she liked dresses and tight skirts, she always seemed to get along with the rowdy boys more than anyone else. It made her fun—expressive in a way that seemed foreign to the Todorokis, but Touya had been going through a lot when he was younger. He just saw her as another noisemaker and forgot about her existence until she roared back into his life, wild hands keeping up with fast words as she slotted herself by his side again, making a permanent spot there as she got together with Rumi. 

It was funny, Touya thought. Ten years ago, he never would have thought he’d have anything like this. 

“Perfect!” Mirio exclaimed, happy and upbeat like a TV commercial. “If you follow me, I’ll show you around the island and to your villas.” He ushered them to the side, towards little buggies that looked similar to golf carts—only, so much more expensive in terms of quality and style. 

Touya hoped whoever was driving had more experience than Spinner. He did not want to be sick and green-faced when his skin was already lilac purple.

Some girls, exuding alcohol-tinged laughs and eyeshadow worthy of a Friday night out, spilt into the spot they’d just left vacant, joining a woman with long, blue hair wearing the same uniform as Mirio. Toga’s eyes widened as the girls glanced in her direction, waving coyly.

“Hey,” one with a short, hazelnut-brown bob whispered, the words coming out slightly breathy in a way that made Touya turn away, clambering in beside Keigo in the resort cart and pretending he didn’t see anything at all.

Toga was pretty and she deserved someone to notice that too. 

“Hi,” she greeted back, inching closer to the party of girls. “I’m Himiko.”

“Ochako,” the other girl let out, a sweet grin pulling at lip-gloss-smothered lips.

Mirio cleared his throat, stepping between them and steering Toga in the opposite direction of them and towards the resort carts. “Your husband is waiting for you,” he announced and Toga’s eyes almost bulged out of her skull.

She’d forgotten that this was a couple’s retreat and she and Jin only were allowed in since they said they were ‘together’, despite how much that idea made her shudder. Don’t get her wrong; she loved Jin with all her heart, but he was forty while she was twenty-seven. They had been best friends for an eternity, and Toga couldn’t see them any other way.

She pouted as Mirio pushed her towards the rest of her group. “Where are they going?” she inquired, still trying to glance around to spy the giggling girls. She’d really liked Ochako…

“That’s Eden East,” Mirio clarified. “You’re going to Eden West.”

“Damn,” Toga said under her breath, still slightly sour as she watched the girls be led in the opposite direction by the blue-haired hostess. 

Ochako glanced over her shoulder and blew a sly kiss to Toga, giggling as she whipped back around again, skipping to catch up with her friends: a group of multi-coloured hair, ranging from springy pink curls to long, flowing green locks, a short indigo cut, hair as dark as the night, tied up in a neat bun, and someone who Toga could barely see. She jumped around between the group, clearly one of the most animated of the bunch, and miraculously remaining blurred between the talking friends as they disappeared into the distance. 

“Maybe we can catch them later,” Jin suggested. 

A determined frown flit over Toga’s eyebrows, contorting the blonde hair there as her eyes sharpened. 

Her mind moved at lightspeed as she formulated a plan in her head, half-listening as Jin started rambling about something random, perfectly content to just let him talk as they neared their villas.

It was a gorgeous place and the entire group took a second to purely stare when they arrived there. Four huts, each spacious and comfy, sat over the water on stilts, a small wooden dock connecting each of them like a faded grey stream. 

Toga was the first to run in, her glitzy, embellished phone clutched in her hand as she sprinted along the dock, unsure which villa to visit first. The man driving her and Jin’s resort cart guided them into one, beaming like a cute dinosaur as he showed them around the place.

Keigo grabbed onto Touya’s hand as a man with Sero Hanta printed over his name tag led them into their own villa, showing them to a large bedroom with wide floor-to-ceiling windows. It presented them with a perfect view of the setting sun over the ocean horizon. Keigo couldn’t stop himself from searching through the villa himself after that, running off with the same energy Hina possessed.

“Holy shit!” he yelled, his eyes wide as he squatted down to peer through a window in the floor of the bathroom. “Touya! Come here! You can see the fish through the floor!”

Touya’s light chuckle met him back. “You can see the fish here too!” he called from the bedroom.

Keigo’s eyes whipped around the bathroom, spanning over the artistically stone cobbled walls. They landed on the huge hot tub sitting by the wall, tucked in neatly but standing out all the same, thanks to its sheer size. He couldn’t help it. He climbed in, just barely slipping out of his shoes as he sat in the middle, holding onto the sides as if he was in a canoe instead.

“Tou! There’s a huge-ass hot tub too!”

Another laugh met him, freer this time and more relaxed. “There’s a hot tub out here as well!”

Keigo had never moved so fast in his life. He scrambled to his feet, skidding over the floor and not bothering again with his shoes as he raced out to where Touya’s voice was coming from. Through the bedroom was a series of clear glass double doors. Touya stood in the middle of both of them, framed like a model as the crystal sea breeze whipped his white hair around his face, the pink in the sky behind him making the blue in his eyes stand out even more. He was smiling, large and wide, unabashed in a way that Keigo hadn’t seen for ages. The skin around his eyes crinkled, pinching together as he looked back at Keigo, before pointing to the outdoor hot tub by his feet.

“Holy shit, this place is amazing,” Keigo breathed.

“I’m glad you like it, sir,” Sero commented, grinning widely with his hands clasped in front of him, silent as Keigo ran around, suddenly feeling the monstrous urge to wrap Touya in his arms and spin him in the air. 

In another villa, Tenko was losing his shit for an entirely different reason.

“What do you mean ‘there’s no TV’?” he quoted, his eyes searing a deep venomous red as the staff member, a cute boy with highlighter yellow hair and a black lightning bolt cutting through the strands, floundered under the sudden pressure.

“I—I’m sorry, sir!” he squeaked, fear pooling in his eyes as he tried to explain the fact that, on the island, there was no Wi-Fi or internet. There were no TVs in the villas or mobile phone service, or anything like that.

Tenko had a meltdown, causing Kaminari to also have a meltdown, and Spinner was stuck with nothing to do aside from have a meltdown with them. 

In Moe and Rumi’s villa, there were quiet gasps, small revelations as they pointed things out to one another, but after a few minutes, their guide left to let them settle down in peace and silence overtook them. In front of everyone else, they held hands, brushed shoulders, smiled at one another in a way they had done all these years, but now that the eyes were off and there were no cameras held in front of them, Rumi and Moe had nothing to say as they unpacked, washing up in preparation for meeting everyone again and resuming the show. 

☼

“There’s no Wi-Fi,” Tenko declared at the restaurant table, hissing out the words as if it were the most disastrous thing to ever happen, and to him, it really was.

“Wow, nice to see you too,” Rumi bit back, rolling her eyes as she slid down in a chair next to Moe, her sunglasses back on her head even though it was already dark outside.

“Seriously!” Tenko exclaimed, his hair pulled back in a semi-neat ponytail at the back of his head, only little tendrils of white running down the sides of his forehead. “This is horrible news! The guy showing us around said there’s no Wi-Fi anywhere on this island!”

Moe snorted. “That’s gotta be a lie. Come on, man, did you really fall for that?”

Toga snickered and gave Moe a proud high-five. “Loser,” she bit out. “We just need to interrogate that staff member and I’m sure he’ll break.”

Spinner nodded. “He started crying five minutes into talking with Tenko.”

Keigo’s feathery eyebrows shot to his hairline. “Wow, it’s not even been a day and you’ve already started bullying the staff.”

“It’s his only talent,” Touya quipped under his breath snidely, scanning over the menu as he tried to figure out what he wanted to eat. There was so much choice and variety—he felt like he was at one of the Todoroki family dinners in a fancy restaurant somewhere, sitting awkwardly between his brother and sister as he tried not to fiddle with a pristine napkin. 

Tenko’s expression soured, his face turning grim and grey as his lips pulled into a barely-visible taut line. “I hate you,” he declared like an overzealous villain from a kids storybook. “I hate you so fucking much.”

Touya stuck his middle finger up in response, not moving his eyes from the words on the menu. 

“There’s no prices on anything,” Moe noticed, her eyebrows creasing as green tendrils of hair fell in front of her face. 

While she came from wealth, she’d somehow always been price-conscious. It wasn’t to the same extent as Keigo was, constantly worrying over every penny in his head, worrying on his lips as he watched the account balance fluctuate with each purchase, but she knew the value of money—and she never flaunted it around, either.

“What?” Rumi snapped open her own menu book, flipping through each page furiously as if it had personally wronged her. 

She and Moe both had fierce, loud personalities, and watching them have similar responses to something seemingly so mundane was amusing. 

A shadow appeared behind them, and Mirio’s face was beaming at the group, standing by the table with his hands clasped together like a pleasant butler. “Yes,” he said, nodding quietly. “Everything in Eden West is free. Things like money have been removed from the equation to allow a pleasant experience for couples, devoid of financial distractions.”

Toga’s face broke like a shark, spreading wide and exposing wide, glinting teeth. “Everything’s free,” she repeated. “We’re in Heaven.”

Tenko fumed beside her, crossing his arms like a petulant child as he glared at Mirio defiantly. “Is that why there’s no Wi-Fi? Or TV? Or anything around here?”

“Yes!” Mirio cheered back, too enthusiastic for someone having to deal with Tenko’s personality. “Yagi Toshinori, the founder of this place and renowned ‘couples whisperer’—”

Spinner, who was taking a sip of water, sprayed the clear liquid everywhere, hacking uglily as he choked on his laughs. “I—I’m sorry, what?”

Even Touya, the Master of the Impassive Face, couldn’t hold in his snickers, the stupidity of the nickname rolling around in his mind like a chunky panda, bashing into the walls clumsily and knocking everything on the surrounding shelves to the ground.

Spinner pointed at Rumi and Moe, tears leaking out of the corners of his eyes—whether from his laughs or coughing fit, Touya didn’t know—and cried, “This is what you signed up for! A couples whisperer!” His cackles wheezed through the restaurant, disturbing every couple and other party around them just trying to enjoy their dinner. Spinner’s face was ugly as he laughed, his lips pulling back a little too far and contorting the shape of his cheeks as his eyebrows fought for space with his forehead.

Naturally, Toga was set off into her own laughing fit, joining him as they both sang an ear-bleeding duet of dying hyenas. Shaky hands held onto her sparkly pink phone, quivering as she tried to snap pictures to embarrass Spinner in the future, but Touya bet everything would just be one, big blur, a shadow of lilac purple just barely visible through the mess. 

Mirio let out a light huff, a slight frown tugging at his features and making him look strange with how round and small his blue eyes were. “Yes, he’s the best in the world. He’s studied psychology, tai chi, yoga—”

Moe spun around in her chair to face Mirio, her eyes bright and raucous as her hands sprung to life in the air. “I’ve done yoga too!”

Mirio paused for a second, his expression going blank. The light froze in his eyes and the regret of working at a place so reliant on customer interaction slithered through like colours in a crystal. Touya watched as Mirio’s life flashed through his head, a hundred thoughts running through his mind, and when he glanced to the side, he saw Keigo examining Mirio the same way, his eyes analytical, even as an amused smirk tugged at his lips. 

Mirio chuckled, then, and it would have sounded light and airy, breezy to match his sunshine personality, but Touya could hear the slight strain undercoating it. It was too similar to when Keigo did the same thing—after long days at work, during late nights when their only goodnight kiss was an argument—for him not to notice. Touya tried to not let his mind turn black with poison, venomous thoughts staining his veins and tongue, ensuring the taste of his dinner was ruined for the evening. 

His throat felt like it had been burnt, charred until it was a mesh of swirling black and blue, scars bleeding into purple like all those years ago. Without thinking, he searched around blindly for Keigo’s hand, gripping onto the warm fingers as if they were his only lifeline. 

“There is no Wi-Fi or TV, or any electronic devices in Eden West. Instead, may I suggest taking a relaxing walk to our renowned waterfall or seeing the fish?”

Touya head perked up at the mention of the waterfall; Keigo noticed. He used to love building waterfall jigsaws with his mother when he was younger. 

“Of course,” Mirio continued, “you can find an emergency phone line at the reception hut but this is to be used during emergencies only. Now, if that’s not an issue, I would like to present you with your itineraries for the next few days.” 

The group fell silent, each of them sporting their own mystified reactions. 

Rumi was the first to break, pouncing back into excitement as she startled herself from whatever reverie she had fallen down. “Great!” she exclaimed with a clap, readjusting her position in the chair as she glanced around the table, seemingly eyeing each one of them and shooting an invisible message into their heads. She didn’t look at Moe, electing to miss her out entirely.

Moe, apparently, didn’t mind. Maybe they were riding the same wavelength in a way Touya and Keigo used to. Moe, suddenly wildly energetic again, joined Rumi in her enthusiasm and made cheeky grabby hands (all in good fun) for the itineraries that Mirio had started to pass around.

“Fuck,” Jin said, no filter on his mouth whatsoever as he twirled the black hardback itinerary in his hands, solid, smooth and shiny. “These guys don’t cheap out.”

Rumi’s grin was ferocious. “You really get your money’s worth here.”

Mirio nodded sweetly. “I’m glad you think so. We pride ourselves on quality over quantity, so every guest comes out of here with the best experience possible.”

Touya felt the hardback in his hands, heavy and sturdy. Without waiting for him, Keigo flipped open the pages of his own itinerary. His voice wasn’t the first to grace the air, however.

“What the fuck?” Tenko deadpanned, the most disgusted expression—as if he’d just eaten bad sushi, and then lost the biggest Mario Kart race of his life—stretching over his cheeks, tugging on the dry lines under his eyes and around his mouth. 

Staring right back at everyone was: 

06:00 Couples Skill-Building

“Uh…” Keigo blinked up at Mirio. “Is this for everyone?”

“What the shit?” Spinner muttered, louder than he thought he did. “I was hoping to get shitfaced tonight and still be asleep by noon.”

Toga clapped her hands together, jumping in her chair as she pointed aggressively at him. “Yes. That. That was my plan too. Maybe followed by hitting the beach and jet skis later.”

“Ooh, yes! Jet skis!” Jin whooped, slamming his itinerary down hard on the table and making all the cutlery jump. He cleared his throat immediately after, a slight blush rising on his neck as he scratched at the back of his head. “Ah, sorry about that. Got overexcited.”

Everyone elected to ignore him, Mirio included. 

Mirio cleared his throat. “I’m sorry? Is there a misunderstanding?”

“Yes,” Tenko spat before Touya could say anything. 

It wasn’t like he particularly wanted to say anything, however. He was perfectly content to spectate as his friends picked a fight with the staff members, especially over something as stupid and restricting as an itinerary. 

“We didn’t sign up for this,” Tenko told Mirio, each word turning deadlier by the second. He then turned on Rumi, his inner twelve-year-old fighter clawing out of its depths in preparation of battle. “You said we wouldn’t have to do the therapy thing.”

“Well—” Rumi cut herself off as her eyebrows furrowed in a wiggly panic, moving and shifting like a snake as she tried to make sense of everything around her.

“Couples skill-building wasn’t mandatory,” Moe punched out, turning to Mirio. “There was never anything about us having to do it on the website.”

Mirio took a breath in. “Eden West is the couples' side of the island and it focuses on rebuilding and replenishing relationships between married couples. Toshinori designed this course and it’s incredibly prescriptive, which means that, yes, couples skill-building is mandatory.”

“That’s bullshit,” Tenko swore, huffing back as he let the itinerary drop on the table, knocking his spoon and water glass together. 

A bleeding dissonance rang through the air, cutting everyone off and ruining the group’s mood further. The soft lamp sitting above their heads, bathing each person in a pretty peach glow the same shade of a thousand fireflies at a nighttime lake, seemed to be tinged iron, metallic grey falling over their features and leaking into their blood.

Mirio snapped his mouth shut, stiff as his eyes hardened slightly. “Listen, we have a very long waiting list queue and if this has all been one big misunderstanding, I’m very sorry. I can, however, arrange for a full refund, aside from travel expenses, of course, and we will stop wasting your time.”

Rumi and Moe both snapped around at the same moment, almost knocking into one another as their chairs clattered to the floor. “No, wait!” they cried, faces torn, before pausing, turning to face each other and see the same desperate expression reflected back at them. 

Keigo held onto Touya’s hand tighter under the table, squeezing his fingers as his heart thud in his chest. Everyone in the restaurant was looking at their group now; they had been for a while, but Keigo could only feel the pressure of the countless external eyes pushing down on him like the weight of all the winking stars in the sky. 

Rumi and Moe stared at one another, slightly shocked as a conversation passed through their eyes; through the tiny flick of a strand of stray hair, blowing in the gentle breeze, through every tiny action as simple as the easy exhale of a half-held breath.

Whatever happened, Rumi surrendered, turning away and with her head held strong. She tucked a broken white loop behind her ear, taking a deep breath as if nothing had happened. 

Moe turned back to Mirio, and she let out a sheepish, boyish smile. “We don’t want a refund,” she promised. “We were just surprised.”

Mirio nodded as if this was all perfectly normal, and maybe it was. Maybe the initial shock of how intense and serious this retreat turned out to be was part of the experience. Touya thought it was a pretty shitty prank to play on customers if that was the case, but it probably wasn’t. 

Their group had never had the best luck when it came to love: Toga struggled to find someone who actually loved her back, despite her many crushes and pseudo obsessions; Tenko was still living with his guardian, and if that didn’t explain his love life, Touya didn’t know what did; Spinner never spoke about his romantic partners, no matter what was the occasion or topic, always seeming to brush it off or change the topic in a way that piqued Toga’s non-existent attention span; and Jin maybe had the worst luck out of them all. He’d given his heart to someone whole, and now, he sat with the shattered remains, unable to do anything to ignite the healing process, no matter how hard he tried.

Maybe bad luck with love and marriage was just in the cards for them. Maybe love was like the restaurant here on Eden Island: pretty and warm with wonderful food and amazing promises, only to turn cold and abysmal like the atmosphere around them. It was suffocating in the worst kind of loving way there was. Everything felt fake, and Touya could already see the burning finale erupting in front of as if he had skipped to the end in a movie. 

“That’s okay,” Mirio said, back to his cheery Tintin-man self. “I’m so sorry about the confusion!” he apologised. “If there’s anything else you want to query about, feel free to ask me. I’ll be around and about, or another staff member can call me!”

“Yes, thank you,” Moe replied, professional like she wasn’t the almost-tomboy-turned-thrillseeker Touya knew.

Mirio wished them a good dinner and waved, bowing as he left them in peace. As soon as he disappeared out of their sight, running to deal with something else on the island, the precarious ocean hanging over the table evaporated, letting the fresh air flow back into their oxygen-deprived lungs.

“What the fuck was that?” Touya blurted out, lacking tact in the way he was known for. 

Keigo’s hand released its hawk-like grip on his fingers and Touya felt the blood swirl back through his veins, running down the appendages like cold mercury. He hadn’t realised just how much Keigo was holding onto him. 

Keigo moved away, bringing his hands back to the table to clasp them casually as he let out a dry, humourless laugh—something to break the dread that had filled all their heads.

“I’m not doing therapy,” Tenko muttered, stubborn in such a childish way that somehow summed up exactly how little he’d actually grown in the past few years. 

Everyone else had moved on with their life, changed for the better (or worse), but Tenko had remained the same: a petulant little child with morally-grey friends who’d kick his ass as they stood up for him. 

Rumi rolled her eyes. “Come on. Would it really be that bad? A little therapy never hurt anyone. It’s good! Healthy!”

Tenko’s red eyes seemed to seep acidic vitriol. Its power reached across the table, sliding through the air as if it were surfing a slow wave, and shutting everyone up by forcing their mouths closed firmly. Everyone aside from Rumi, of course. She seemed immune to every kind of bullshit Tenko tried to pull as she raised an eyebrow back at him, a challenge burning in her own eyes. 

“Have you forgotten that this is couples therapy? There are only two couples at this table!” he hissed, keeping his voice low because while he could scream and shout and throw a tantrum like any other toddler, Tenko knew when to be quiet. Now, under the curious gaze of various onlookers and staff alike, Tenko could pretend to be the best team player there was. 

Spinner’s mouth dropped in a silent ‘O’. “Shit. What do we do in therapy? Should I just complain about Shiggy’s stinky socks?”

“Hmm…” Toga tipped her head to the side, her sadism streak tickled at the idea of her friends being tortured hilariously as they faked their way through therapy. “Mention how he never showers. It’s better, I think.”

“I shower!” Tenko shot back, starting off as a yell and only dropping to a whisper halfway through. 

He flipped someone off a few tables away, baring his teeth in a way that made everyone want to hide and die from shame. 

A waitress, pretty with short red hair and a round face to accompany her name tag, Haya Yuyu, popped up at their table. She held a small black notepad between her hands. “Should I come back in a few minutes?” she queried.

They didn’t give her time to finish, bursting into rambles and arguments as they spoke over one another, flinging food order after food order at her. With the heart of the Devil sparkling in Moe’s eyes, she told the waitress that Touya would like the sea bass. He tried to kick her under the table, only to find Jin crying out instead and Toga starting on a murder spree with only him in his sights.

The night fell away into laughs and cheers, each of them getting more and more drunk as dish after dish got demolished in front of their faces. They were monsters, rampaging through everything as if they would never eat again, as if this moment would never come about, in some shape or form, in their lives once more. Touya guessed it was true; they hadn’t spent the evening together—just them and no one else; just them and no other real-life distractions—in forever. 

He’d never admit it but he missed the way Rumi guffawed too loud, threatening to burst his eardrums. He missed the way Keigo actually laughed so hard he choked on his own giggles, reaching out with strong hands to grip Touya’s shoulder to steady him as he rocked back and forth, almost falling off of his chair. He’d missed the way Toga batted at Tenko’s phone, trying and failing to play whatever new thing he was obsessed with. 

But most of all, Touya missed being in the same room as his friends and not feeling like a tired thirty-year-old. He wasn’t old, but he was definitely feeling older. The vitality of the years past was fading like a dying star, drifting dimmer and colder through the colours until, eventually, there wasn’t going to be anything left at all. 

The food was really good as well—better than anything Touya had eaten in a long time. He was good at cooking and his kids liked his food, but it was nice to not eat something he’d spent the last hour standing over. Not doing any work and still getting a reward was relaxing, and he’d missed days like this.

“You know what?” Moe cut in, stealing something from Touya’s plate as if she was a cool fucker and he didn’t have the reflexes to stop her (he didn’t, but that was besides the point). “We can handle a little time in the morning if it means we can spend the rest of the day like this. It’s just a short session.”

Toga, high on warm feelings around her and everyone’s happiness, bopped her head along with Moe, raising her hand and waving as if this was the greatest point anyone could make in the world. “Yeah, yeah! We spend a little time telling these people what they want to hear and then we ride jet skis! We party!”

Keigo let his head flop onto Touya’s shoulder, molten gold eyes glancing through faded strands of blonde. Touya’s heart jumped in his chest as he spied the way Keigo’s lips parted.

“I can’t wait to get back to our room,” Keigo whispered into his ear and a bold hand slipped under the table, tracing innocent patterns over his knee as not-so-innocent eyes peered up at him.

Touya smirked back. “Yeah, pretty bird?”

Before Keigo could reply, Touya dipped his head to press his lips against his. A whistle echoed behind them as Keigo’s hand trailed up the inside of his thigh. Touya broke the kiss, his face flushed from more than just alcohol as he aimed to kick Toga’s shins under the table. 

A crackle burst through the air as fizzy sparks seared behind them, moving as Moe’s eyes expanded into massive saucers, a tiny ring of burnt sunset sitting in the place of her irises. Her hands clapped together as she squealed, gesturing wildly to the artistic work of desert that was moving to the table next.

“Oh, my fucking god,” Keigo let out next to Touya as it got moved to the centre of the table and everyone started digging in.

“This day cannot get better,” Jin muttered, stuffing his face. “I’m surrounded by my friends, and now, I’m eating literal art. Literal art!”

“Jin! Stop eating it!” Toga cried, batting his and everyone else’s hands away as she poured over the table hurriedly, trying her best to get a picture before the desert was completely bulldozed, razed to the ground by a pack of wild party animals.

As the night fell away and the group dispersed, yelling goodbyes to one another despite being only a couple of metres away and about to see each other again in a few measly hours, Keigo tugged Touya through their villa with a hand around his wrist. An excited grin peppered his skin in a similar way to his faded freckles. 

Touya found himself pushed back until he fell across their bed with a quiet “oomph!”, and then there were hands in his hair, ruffling through his white strands and tugging on each one of them until Touya felt like he was on fire. Keigo’s mouth smothered every bit of his skin, both scarred and pale and smooth. It felt like all the words they couldn’t say to one another before exploded between them, booming like dynamite as their teeth and tongues clashed.

Touya fell asleep with a smile on his face and Keigo’s hair sticking into his cheeks, tickling his nose in a way that used to bug him but, now, he didn’t mind. All he did was hold Keigo closer, wrapping his arms around his stomach and pressing a soft kiss to the back of his neck. 

He thought of how free Keigo had acted tonight. Every movement and expression was painted openly on his face, fresh enough for Touya to touch and smear with his own fingers. He could paint himself with the colours, too, until they looked the same, sharing the same sunset smiles and golden grins.

He threaded their hands together. He’d missed this.

☼

Waking up early wasn’t something Touya had needed to do for a long time, and it was difficult, to say the least. He was used to staying up late, forcing his eyes open as he tried to remember what the fuck was even going on in the crappy TV show he’d let play in the background to pass the time, so waking up to Keigo—not Hina with her gremlin giggles or Riku with his last-minute school homework projects, but Keigo —shaking his shoulder, urging him out of the sheets and into the shower was the best and worst thing Touya had woken up to in the last little while. 

Touya was tired, and his eyes hung heavy as Keigo rolled him over, snickering quietly as he pushed him with cold feet until Touya squawked like a bird, fumbling frantically before hitting the floor. He turned his head to the side, the stinkiest glare he could muster swirling like a dark storm in his eyes, but was only met Keigo’s glowing smile, sleepy eyes staring down at him as Keigo propped his chin up on his hands, his legs swinging like a calm hammock behind him. 

“Good morning, firecracker.”

Touya wrinkled his nose at the nickname, pushing himself up until he was leaning back on his forearms, only a few centimetres away from Keigo’s face. Keigo zipped in for a kiss, and Touya turned his head in the nick of time, swallowing a laugh as Keigo met his cheek; he had yet to brush his teeth, and morning breath was nothing but disgusting. 

“You haven’t used that nickname in ages,” he noted, rolling his eyes as Keigo kept trying to catch his lips and kept missing because Touya never gave in easy—he put up a good fight, just like how he knew Keigo wanted him to. The fun was always more in the chase than anything else. 

“I miss it,” Keigo claimed, huffing as he gave up and let his head fall over the side of the bed, the perfect place for Touya to lean down and kiss the back of his head sneakily. “I used to love calling you that.”

Touya liked it, too, but he wasn’t ever going to say that. There were some things meant for his mind and his mind only, and tiny early-morning admissions like this were one of them. He was a private person, but so was Keigo. Holding back minuscule things like this wasn’t going to affect their relationship in the slightest. There were a hundred meaningless secrets between them, Touya was sure of that, and yet, here they were, still going as strong as ever.

“You just like hearing the sound of your own voice,” Touya retorted, pushing himself to his feet and making his way to the bathroom. 

Keigo dashed after him, skittering over the floorboards like a thief in the night. They crossed the glass window showcasing the wild tropical fish floating in the sea under them together. Aquamarine light lit up their faces, vanishing in the blink of an eye, but Keigo thought Touya looked more beautiful than ever as the reflections of waves passed through his eyes, a hundred shades of blue flashing like a revolving diamond.

He couldn’t help himself; he rushed in for a kiss, and this time, he caught Touya’s lips before he could move away. Keigo felt like he was twenty-three again.

☼

It was warm outside—not too cold and not too hot as the sun yawned awake, pushing away the dark as if it were its blanketing duvet. A yellow line ran through the horizon, separating the two masses of milky sapphire as if it were the points of a mirror and the sky and ocean were direct reflections of one another. Despite the early hour, the friend group seemed chipper, excited as they huddled together on the beach. 

“Look at my sandals!” Toga exclaimed, sticking her feet into the air to show off the tacky pink crab sandals she’d bought the evening before, too drunk to make sense of anything in the world. 

The sandals were ugly, but Toga’s eyes lit up like it was the most precious purchase of her entire life. A thick, chunky plastic crab sat on the thin strap, right in between her big toe and second toe. It announced its presence with the same tenacity as Toga did, and no one could doubt that she’d cherish these shoes forevermore, taking care of it as if it were her baby. 

“Ew,” Tenko remarked like a little bitch too afraid of the glorious wonders of the world. “Why would you spend money on that.”

“Toga!” Jin cried, slapping his palms to his cheeks dramatically. “I love them! I want a pair too!”

Toga’s eyes lit up as she jumped up and down, kicking sand everywhere and gripping onto Moe’s arm. “There’s a blue and orange pair in the gift shop as well!”

“We should go together after this!” 

Toga whooped, linking her arms with Jin and prancing off in an impromptu dance sequence worthy enough of a Barbie best friends music number. 

Tenko scoffed, his grey camo shorts making his skin look even paler in comparison. “Where’s Mirio? Let’s get this over and done with.”

At that moment, a large bong! emanated through the air, rippling with the ocean waves as the group snapped to attention, their eyes wide as Mirio grinned at them a few metres away. He stood next to a broad gong, a dark bronze in colour and shimmering in the sunlight.

“Good morning, everyone!” he chirped. “It’s good to see you’re all here and ready to start the day!”

Tenko seethed quietly. “I hate him,” he whispered to Touya.

“You should talk more with him,” Touya suggested, his eyebrow arching deviously. The piercing on it glittered halcyon.

“I’ll kill him,” Tenko declared theatrically, and then razed his eyes over the myriad of earrings and piercings Touya had put back in. “It’s good to see you back again,” he muttered, patting Touya’s shoulder as if they’d just finished band practice. 

Touya didn’t really know why he did it, especially after not having his piercings in for so long, but he brought his old earrings with him in a little bag. This morning, as he and Keigo got changed, he’d put them back in. Maybe he wanted to feel like his old self, and maybe something about this trip had something to do with it; being surrounded by old friends, it almost felt like ten years ago instead of now. It felt like they were acting out a missing memory and, for Touya to really play his part, he needed to litter his body with silver and gold—metallic promises in the form of looping rings to match the one on his left hand. 

“Hello, everyone!” a foreign voice boomed, bright and loud, and cutting through the easy lull that had fallen over the group. 

A tall man with blonde hair worse than Keigo’s stood next to Mirio. His face was thin and bony, his cheekbones jutting out sharply from his face and accentuating the dark sink of his eyes into his skull. He looked skinny in a sickly way—worse than Tenko did—and Touya didn’t know if a prank was being played or something.

“Holy shit,” Spinner let out, not quiet at all. “He looks like a fishbone.”

Toga kicked him. “That’s rude! He doesn’t just look like a fishbone. He is one!”

Moe snorted, unable to hide her laugh as she doubled over. 

Spinner’s jaw clacked open wide, his eyes blaring obscenely as he spluttered. “I’m rude? What about you? You’re even worse!”

He tried to attack Toga, his fingers curling into tiny claws as he scrambled at the air, but Jin held him in his place, forcing him to run in the same spot and kick sand into Tenko’s shoes. Why he was wearing shoes on the beach while in paradise, no one knew. Yet, it was Tenko, and no one questioned his tiny twink ass anymore. 

“Welcome to Eden!” the man resembling the living incarnation of a fishbone said. 

He was wearing a dark navy pinstripe suit, and how he wasn’t melting in the sun remained a mystery to everyone; Touya was sweating profusely, despite being the one who’d grown up the most in the blazing heat. 

“I just want to say I’m very happy you choose to come here to repair and heal your relationship. This isn’t a guarantee that I can make everything better. The possibility of leaving this island and feeling that things may and truly be over is entirely probable, but this all depends on you.” 

Toshinori smiled, and Touya wasn’t too sure if he was meant to feel better. Out of the corner of his eye, he spotted Moe give Rumi’s shoulder a reassuring squeeze. They stood together like two pillars, Moe taller but each of them carrying the same determined flame in their eyes. Touya couldn’t see how they were falling apart at all, despite what they claimed. They seemed too much like partners in a jigsaw puzzle, slotting together in a way no one else would be able to imitate. 

Toshinori continued, his grin widening until it almost seemed like his teeth took over his entire face. “I believe in every one of you, no matter what hurdles you may have to overcome. And now, without further ado, let’s get started this morning. Please line up in two rows, one partner on each side, so you’re facing one another.”

“I can’t believe we’re listening to this guy,” Tenko grumbled.

Keigo rolled his eyes. “Jesus, shut the fuck up, please.”

Tenko blinked, surprise taking over his face as everyone else formed two lines. It had been a while since someone seriously snapped at him, and he was still suffering from disbelief. Touya had been tired lately, and he usually left if Tenko started complaining about something dumb, so for someone to actually tell him to shut his mouth was strange. 

Either way, Touya was loving it, and it seemed that everyone else was too. 

Toshinori rounded to the front of the lines, standing in between the two. He threw his hands high into the air and, with a free beam, he said, “And now, strip!”

A record seemed to screech in everyone’s heads as eight faces turned at the same time, all wearing the same shocked expression.

“What?” Touya blurted out. 

He had a shirt with long sleeves on for a reason, and that reason was one he very much wanted to keep hidden. His legs were bare from the knees down, but that was because the scarring was barely visible there, so he didn’t mind. His legs looked almost normal, now, and there were only faint patches of blemished purple and blue remaining, but it was so small that it blended in. His face and neck were kind of similar, and even then, it became difficult hiding the faded scars there forever. 

Touya’s arms were a different story, and only Riku, Hina and Keigo had seen them completely. The scars weren’t as bad as they used to be, but it was still so painfully obvious, more than anywhere else on his body. The skin was different there—rougher in a way that felt exactly like before. It was thick and leathery, and it always would be. After years of treatment, Touya had finally managed to deal with the fact that his arms would never be the same; he would never have his normal pale skin back. He would never look like Natsuo, Shouto or Fuyumi. Touya, for all his life, would have to live with the living reminder of what exactly his father had done to him, and nothing would change it or make it better, no matter how much he or Keigo tried. 

“This is an exercise in acceptance, so take your top off,” Toshinori said, as if it was the most simple thing in the world. “When you see your partner as they really are, without anything hiding them, tell them the truth.”

Touya’s throat went dry as Toga shrugged by his side, reaching for the hem of her beach dress and pulling it over her head. She was way too comfortable with this, and slowly, the rest of the group followed her.

Jin cackled, pointing wildly at Toga. “You’re a crab!” he screamed, doubling over.

Toshinori, who had also taken his baggy suit off and was standing in bright yellow swimming trunks, looked confused but amused as Toga laughed along too. She was standing in a garish pink bikini, and upon closer inspection, the same crabs from her sandals were running across the fabric in a repeat pattern.

“They had swimming costumes to match everything!” she exclaimed, and Jin promised that he would go with her and buy himself a matching set too.

Rumi and Moe were extremely comfortable, both standing in front of one another in their underwear. 

“You’re beautiful,” Rumi breathed, staring directly at Moe.

She blushed, grinning back. “And you’re short,” she retorted, dodging as Rumi lunged at her with the speed of a hare.

“Holy shit,” Toga gasped. “How are you both so toned? Give me your workout routine, please.”

“You wouldn’t do it anyway,” Touya couldn’t stop himself from saying, still looking at the sandy floor instead of anything around him. 

Apparently, it was the worst thing to do at that moment. Everyone’s attention crashed onto him like a tsunami wave, turning his blood and body cold as he tried to not look back.

“Oh,” Toshinori let out, shuffling across the sand as he came over to him and Keigo. “It’s okay. No one here is judging you. This is a safe space.”

Mirio came up to him as well, his stupid smile nearing closer and closer until he placed a hand on Touya’s shoulder. “Don’t worry. It’s only your friends and husband here, and everyone’s mostly distracted by the ugly crabs on Toga’s feet. Be free.”

Touya wanted to ask him if he would willingly strip in front of a bunch of people, no matter if they were his friends or not, but he felt like the answer would be “yes”. Mirio seemed like the kind of person to be completely confident in himself, and Touya wanted to punch him.

“Fuck off,” he sneered instead, his voice taking on a tone that he hadn’t used in years, but it was too tempting to not use it now.

Mirio shut his mouth, removing his hand and shuffling back to his original spot quickly. 

Toshinori moved through the sand, inching closer to Keigo who Touya now could see was only in his red shorts, toned and muscular in a way Touya had no idea how he kept up anymore. He was lean with a runner’s build more than anything else, but Touya hadn’t seen him have time for anything other than work lately, nevermind a quick run. 

Sometimes, he really hated how perfect his husband was. 

“Please,” Toshinori muttered as he nodded to Touya, “take his shirt off.”

“What?” Keigo asked bluntly. 

Toshinori nodded again in a way that was meant to be encouraging, Touya could tell, but all he could feel was the stone sinking further and further in his stomach as Keigo’s eyes met his own, concern dripping through the honey gold. 

The silence stretched on, pushing Touya further and further from everyone, even as Keigo stepped closer. His heart thud against his ears, washing out every other noise as if there was no one else there.

He only took a breath when tanned fingers landed on his shirt, fumbling with the buttons near the top. “If you want me to stop, tell me and I’ll stop,” Keigo whispered so only he would hear it.

His mouth remained firmly closed. Touya didn’t know why but he couldn’t move. If this had happened before, Touya would have shoved Keigo away by now, glaring daggers at everyone else and snapping like a dog. He would have bared his teeth, cold and silent as he walked away. He never would have come back, and he most certainly would not have allowed Keigo to peel his shirt away, dropping it to collect sand on the floor and expose the deep purple staining the expanse of his stomach.

Distantly, he heard someone that sounded a lot like Moe gasp. It was shocked and sharp, and exactly everything that he’d hoped to avoid. With burning eyes, he raised his head, daring anyone to say anything. 

Rumi’s mouth was slightly open. Her lips parted in a way as her eyes said: I didn’t know.

Before, she’d make jokes about how he always had a full-sleeve shirt on, covering his body as much as possible with tight jeans. The comments were all in good fun, and she never said much more, never actually forced him to do anything or feel bad, but now, she knew why he never took his shirt off. She knew why he hid his arms. 

Spinner’s hands were over his face, his eyes spread wide as he probably compared Touya to every video game character he could think of. Jin looked sad, his mouth curving down as even his hair seemed to shine less, dropping like a wilting flower. Toga and Tenko looked downright murderous, as if they knew everything and could piece Touya’s past together. On a sunny morning on a beach laying over a faraway island, Toga and Tenko were out for blood. 

Keigo stroked his cheek, thumbing over old scars with a soft smile. “You look beautiful,” he told him. 

The moment was too serious, too quiet. There was too much hanging unsaid in the air, leaving even Toshinori speechless; he’d gone quiet and still, like this was the last thing he’d expected Touya’s aggressive shyness to be about. 

“Thanks, Kei,” Touya whispered back as Keigo moved away, going back to his spot in the line and leaving Touya to feel just a little bit more bare, even though he still had his light blue board shorts on and only his top had been removed. He smirked, a tiny thing to hopefully break the heavy air around him. “You look very handsome too.”

Keigo turned his head, the thinnest of blushes staining the area under his eyes, despite him knowing what Touya said was very true.

Spinner cleared his throat. “My turn,” he announced and turned to Tenko, his eyes focusing as he skimmed over Tenko’s arms and chest, his face and hair as if he was truly having trouble saying something that wasn’t an insult. “You’re a lot more muscular than I thought,” he finally settled on and then realised how exactly that sounded. “No homo,” he added at the end, and Touya couldn’t believe this was happening. Spinner’s eyes bulged as he realised another mistake he’d made. “I mean, yes, homo...because we’re married and yes. Homo. Very homo.”

Rumi groaned, and Moe held in her laughs poorly with only a hand over her mouth. 

“I wish I recorded this,” Toga snickered. 

“Seriously?” Tenko asked, no expression on his face as he stared back at a sheepish Spinner. “Well then, all I see is a loser.”

Toshinori laughed lightly like an old man and let everyone hurry away for a few minutes back to their villas where, apparently, there would be a fresh set of clothes waiting for them for their next activity.

☼

That next activity, as it turned out, was therapy. Touya and Keigo stared blankly back at their therapist, a young man with dark purple hair that was cut short at the sides and outrageously large eye bags that spoke of late nights worse than Keigo’s. He stared right back at them, looking tired in every way imaginable as he took a sip of his coffee.

“Hi,” he greeted, his voice fairly monotone. Touya and Keigo sat like there was a stick against their backs, wary eyes watching her every movement. “I’m Shinsou Hitoshi, and you’re Takami Touya and Keigo, right?”

Keigo was the first to recover as he readjusted the way he was sitting, crossing a leg over his knee and placing his hands over it, holding it in place. Shinsou’s eyes darted to the movement, and Touya could see him taking a note of it silently.

“Yes,” Keigo replied, his business smile falling over his face. “Nice to meet you.”

“Nice to meet you too,” Shinsou said as he nodded back, humming under his breath as he scribbled something in his notepad.

Touya raised an eyebrow. “Why’d you make a note of that?”

Shinsou looked at him properly for the first time, taking in him fully as his eyes scanned over his hair, piercings, all the slight blemishes and scars cluttering his skin. “Do you have a problem with me making notes?” he questioned, and it didn’t sound taunting or provocative in any way. 

Shinsou had a very calming voice, probably perfected after years of training to mould and morph depending on the mood and client, but Touya felt like he was being held under a microscope. Just from the way Shinsou looked at him, he could tell that Shinsou was someone who analysed everything he saw, just like Keigo. They both took in everything from the tone of voice, body movement, things said, and things unsaid. Touya could feel he was being analysed right then, and he didn’t like that.

“Yes,” he shot back because he didn’t know what else to do. 

They’d only been in this room for a few minutes, sitting on this couch for barely any time at all, and Touya wanted to leave. So far, this trip had been nothing but a pain. He’d liked waking up with Keigo and actually seeing his face, but everything else sandwiching that had cancelled out any good it may have brought and actually tipped the scales in the other direction. Touya wanted to leave and forget any of this ever happened, but all he could do was fume quietly as Keigo squeezed his knee.

The actual room they were in was very nice. The windows were large and expansive behind them, letting the natural beauty of their surroundings seep through and set the tone, and the couch they were sitting on was a pretty cool grey. Everything felt calm and relaxed around them, but that was really a sham to cover up the mess that went on inside the room. Touya couldn’t imagine every session with a couple was sunshine and daisies; things were bound to get bloody sometime, and couples were sure to devolve into extensive screaming matches that Shinsou probably had to sit and suffer through all alone.

Shinsou hummed again, jotting something down in his notepad in response to Touya’s answer. Touya felt his teeth clash together in the hidden cave of his mouth. 

“So,” Shinsou started, “tell me a bit about yourself; how you two are, how your relationship is. If you want me to share something about myself in return to make you more comfortable, let me know.”

“Okay,” Keigo nodded back and tipped his head to the side. “Well, we’re fine, right, Touya?”

“Yeah,” he agreed, and he wasn’t lying. 

Looking at it, they really were fine. They had the kids and the house, a group of friends who responded to their every text (unless they were Tenko, but he was just a bitch with the pettiness of a five-year-old). There was nothing for them to worry about. 

“We’ve worked through a lot of things together, and things are really good right now,” he continued. “We have two lovely kids, Riku and Hina. We adopted Riku…” he paused, turning to Keigo as he squinted. “Four years ago?”

Keigo nodded in response. “Yeah, four years ago, wow.”

Touya was surprised too. Time really had flown by fast. 

“And Hina, two years ago,” Keigo added, finishing the sentence for him. 

“That’s cute,” Shinsou stated, his mouth curling into a small smile.

Keigo grinned. “They’re menaces, the lot of them.”

Shinsou let out a little laugh, but then he glanced down to his notepad, a slight frown forming between his purple eyebrows. “When you said you’ve ‘worked through a lot of things together’, what did you mean?”

Touya blinked as his mind went blank. Their first meeting was them working through a lot of things together, amongst other things. Their entire relationship started out on a bumpy road and only recently had it really smoothened out. On top of that, Keigo was a pathological liar and getting to know who he really was under every layer he caked over himself had taken time. And Touya was rude and snide. Even realising that he wanted to spend more time with Keigo than he did with anyone else was a hurdle in and of itself. Saying they’d made it through a lot of things together was an understatement. 

Keigo answered for him, taking the reins of the carriage smoothly as if there weren't a million answers to Shinsou’s vague question. “Well, I work a lot, and Touya does most of the school runs in the morning since I can’t and, yeah, we just really work well together.”

Shinsou nodded, taking more notes that Touya desperately wanted to see. “And Touya, are you also employed?” The question was blunt, but Shinsou seemed genuinely curious, factual in a way that screamed that this was for his analytic purposes and not a way for him to look down on Touya.

“Yes,” he said back. “My friend develops games, and I run the management for that since he can’t even look after himself properly.”

“And how’s that going? Are things successful? Do you like your job?”

Touya wouldn’t say he liked his job, per se, but he didn’t not like it either. He was surrounded by people he loved, and frankly, he wasn’t too sure what he would do if he left. He wasn’t exactly the most aspirational person in the world. While he did have a lot of dreams when he was younger, everything had gone up in smoke while he tried to show his father just how much he hated him and everything he stood for. Ruining his own future had seemed like a measly consequence—he wasn’t even planning on sticking around long enough for a future to be ruined. But here he was, in a position he never imagined in his wildest dreams to be in, and he’d had some pretty crazy dreams. 

“It’s going good enough,” he replied, his voice flat and disinterested, trying to keep some control of the conversation with him. Things felt like they were skidding already, and they had only been in the room for a few minutes. 

Shinsou stared back at him and hummed once more, nodding slightly in a way that was only annoying now. “Interesting.”

Shinsou, sitting next to them both, seemed fairly young in comparison. He looked around Toga’s age, but he acted a lot older. Touya wondered if being a therapist was what he always aspired to be, or if he got lumped into this job just like he and Keigo did with theirs, with nowhere else to go no matter how much they thought about it.

He turned to Keigo, tapping his pen against his bottom lip. “And what about you? Do you like your job?”

Keigo let out a half-laugh, as if he was sharing an inside joke but knew only he would understand it. “It’s alright.” His gaze drifted to the ceiling, over the light spades of tile the sun lit up. “It earns a lot, so I’m happy with it.”

Shinsou frowned, taking more notes in his notepad. 

Keigo winced. “I know that sounds pretty bad since I should be doing something that I love and all, but I don’t mind my job, really. There are lots of colleagues who like me and that I like, and the pay’s good. It’s quite stable.”

Touya bit the inside of his cheek and held his quiet fumes as he thought about how, even though Keigo spent almost all his time at the office, it wasn’t for the people there. Half the time, Kei came home, tired and upset, rambling about someone screwing up something to no one but himself—or so he thought. Touya was awake most of the time and could hear everything. He used to offer a massage, something to ease the ache in Keigo’s shoulders and back, but what was the point when Keigo would never stop? He’d never listen to reason and come home on time. Something would always happen; someone would always need him more than his own family did. 

“And what about you both?”

Keigo’s half-laugh returned, entering the air like a breathy scoff. It was the sound of a middle schooler; the sound of Riku’s friends and one that their son was quickly picking up. “What about us?”

“Do you like each other? Are you happy?” Shinsou clarified. 

Touya frowned. “Of course,” he answered for both of them. “We’re a team. Of course we’re happy with one another.”

Touya couldn’t think of a life without Keigo. At least, not anymore. When he looked at the future, Keigo was always by his side in some shape or form, and he was sure it was the same for Keigo with him, too. If they didn’t like one another, why would they be married in the first place?

He answered his own question and chose to remain silent. His parents were split up, but they probably would have stayed together if Touya didn’t have a complete and total public meltdown. He doesn’t regret what he did—it’s better this way; healthier—but, sometimes, the way Fuyumi looks at him haunts his mind, sticks behind his retinas like his phone’s blue screen light. 

She barely talks to him anymore, and Touya doesn’t know if that’s something that’s more his fault or a choice she’s made herself. After all, Touya ruined every chance of her big happy family dream ever coming true. They were never happy, but she seemed to think that as long as they were together, things would turn out alright. 

Shinsou took a deep breath in. “Really?” he wondered. “You’re a team?”

When Touya turned his head to the side, Keigo was frowning, too. It was hard and heavy, his feathery eyebrows sitting darkly over his eyes, casting a shadow over the honey gold. He looked deathly serious, like he was in a board meeting, discussing something more important than anything in his entire life. 

“Of course we are,” he confirmed, agreeing with Touya in a way that could only strengthen their argument. Shinsou couldn’t attack them with his words when theirs was so in sync. 

“Really?” Shinsou asked again. “Because you’ve spent the last few minutes talking about everything you’ve done separately. There’s not been one chance where you’ve mentioned something you’ve tackled together. Even when I asked you what you’ve overcome together, you started talking about your jobs and your own challenges. There’s no we here.” He gestured between them both, his movement calm and measured, despite the uproar he was stirring up in each of their hearts. “There’s no team. You might as well be perfect strangers. The only thing you have connecting yourselves to one another are your kids, and I’m glad. Family is a beautiful thing, and you seem to love your family and each other very much, but your sense of togetherness is lost. I don’t see a team here. I see two individuals and nothing more.”

Touya’s throat went dry.

“You’re wrong,” Keigo said instantly, biting back like a lawyer. “We do plenty of things together. We’ve just been extremely busy lately and—”

“See?” Shinsou cut in, his purple eyes slicing between each of them. “Again, you’re making excuses and going off in your own direction.” He turned to Touya. “Touya, when was the last time you did something together?”

He opened his mouth, words ready on his lips and Keigo’s hopeful eyes watching his every movement. He closed his mouth, nothing escaping but silence. “I don’t know,” he finally said, and his eyes darted to the side, away from where Keigo was sitting and to the floor.

He could feel Keigo’s disappointment enough already, looming like the desolate child he once was. 

“We’ve just been busy lately,” Keigo murmured, and his voice was quiet as he clung onto his own beliefs, his own hopes. 

He didn’t want them to drift apart, and neither did Touya. But it was happening, and deep down, they both knew why. Or, at least, Touya knew why and he hoped that Keigo was bright enough to realise it. His husband was smart—one of the smartest, he bet. But when it came to small things like this, he seemed to think turning a blind eye was easier. If he couldn’t see it, he wouldn’t have to deal with it, and maybe it would all go away. 

The thing was, it wasn’t going away, and Touya was stuck in limbo, floating as he tried to grasp onto slithery threads around him, praying one of them connected back to the person he loved the most.

Shinsou smiled then. It was soft and serene, calm in a way that didn’t tug at his eyes or his nose. His skin barely shifted, and his eyes were sharp, but he seemed to understand everything that was going through each of their heads, drifting between them like a galaxy in space.

“It’s okay,” he reassured them. “This is normal. In fact, this happens in almost every marriage, partnership, friendship—whatever. People drift apart as life gets in the way, but it’s how you deal with that drift and the things causing you to drift that make a difference. Now, you’re only here for a few days, so we don’t really have much time for proper in-depth counselling, but, hopefully, I can get you thinking, so you’re on the right track again when you leave.”

Shinsou wasn’t wrong, and logically, this seemed to all make sense, but Touya could see this coming from a mile away. He and Keigo were turning into their parents, drifting further and further away from one another like planets looping out of orbit.

“So,” Shinsou started, “how does your day go. Usually?”

“Uh…” Keigo trailed off, glancing to the ceiling once again. “It’s pretty normal. I wake up, go to work. Touya wakes up, takes the kids to school. We both go to work, and we come back home, and then we go to bed. Repeat.”

Shinsou nodded, the tips of his purple hair springing through the air as he jotted more things down in his notepad. “And, Touya,” he said when he finished, looking back up once more, “do you agree with everything Keigo just said?”

“Well, yeah. He wakes up, I make breakfast and drop the kids off. I go to Tenko’s house and deal with the children there. I come home, make dinner, help Riku with his homework and watch an episode of Peppa Pig with Hina, and then I get everyone ready for bed. And then Keigo comes home.”

“Oh? So Keigo doesn’t come home at the same time as you do?”

“No,” Touya replied, a cynical chuckle leaving his lips. “He comes home...much, much later.”

Keigo’s head whipped around to face him. “You know I try to come home as early as I can!”

Touya couldn’t stop the roll of his eyes. Maybe it was because of the number of hours he’d spent around Tenko, or maybe it was his general nature of being an ass, but he didn’t even try to hold back the sarcasm dripping from his tone like how he usually would. He never wanted to fight around the kids, while they were in the same place they called their home. It felt bad and too much like a repeat of his own childhood. He guessed that meant he had to fight now.

“Really, Kei? Coming home after eleven, sometimes even one in the fucking morning, every night is as early as you can?”

Keigo sat back, his head moving away as his eyebrows twitched. His mouth curled at the edges, creating a squiggly line like from Hina’s cartoons, but Touya didn’t back down. He was taller by a few centimetres, and he was going to use that advantage all he could. 

“I can’t believe you,” Keigo let out. “You know I’m only doing this for you, right? So we can have a big house and afford all the nice things in life?”

“I don’t even talk to you anymore, Kei! Even during the weekends, you’re busy! I haven’t had a proper conversation that wasn’t you complaining about how Takeyama doesn’t file the reports correctly, or Nishiya hasn’t gotten back to you with the email, or whatever other bullshit it is!”

“What about you?” Keigo spat back. “Whenever I come home, I know you’re awake. I know you wait for me, but you still don’t talk to me! You ignore me on purpose. Is this to make you feel better about yourself? To have a little power or something?”

Shinsou cleared his throat, leaning forward in his chair to put his hands between them. He didn’t reach them, an entire expanse of space still lay between them, but Touya could feel the presence of it enough. The action stopped the flow of their argument, cutting through the rising tides of their sizzling fury. 

“I’m just going to stop you there if you don’t mind,” Shinsou said. “Clearing the air between you is very important, and I hope you’re feeling a lot better, now, but please remember we’re in a professional space. As much as I am a couples therapist, I don’t particularly like to listen to arguments.”

Keigo shuffled, turning around until he was sitting facing forward again, his legs relaxing ever so slightly. “Sorry,” he muttered, embarrassment lacing his tongue.

Touya’s eyes were on fire as he burned, turning around childishly to face away as well. He didn’t want to talk to Keigo, or even see him. 

“It’s alright,” Shinsou sighed, sounding more tired than ever. “I’m used to it, and it’s healthy, even—to get all these emotions out before it’s too late.”

Keigo nodded, but Touya had a feeling he was barely listening. His eyes were probably slightly glazed over, too stuck in distant memories that Touya didn’t even want to begin to decipher right now. 

“That’s actually time right there,” Shinsou asserted, raising his eyebrows at the watch on his wrist. It was gold and minimalistic, fitting Shinsou perfectly, somehow.

“Nice watch,” Keigo croaked out, nodding his head towards the item in question. He wasn’t particularly interested in it, but he couldn’t bear to leave Shinsou with such a negative opinion of them, of him.

Shinsou’s eyes darted down to his, and for the first time, his smile reached his eyes, sparkling with crystal amusement. “Thanks. There’s, uh, this guy who also works here. He gave me this last month, and I can’t seem to get rid of him, apparently.”

Keigo chuckled, laughing at something that seemed so funny on the inside. Shinsou, a therapist for couples on the verge of breaking down, couldn’t seem to admit that he liked someone, even if it was just a crush. It was hilarious in an ironic way, but Touya didn’t seem to find it funny. He was still looking away, his chin perched on the heel of his palm and his scars in full view for anyone who dared look in his direction.

Keigo felt bad, like he’d made a massive mistake, and maybe he did. He’d said some horrible things, some things he’d love to take back, but it was the truth. And Touya had some pretty nasty opinions of him too. Only the tip of the iceberg had been exposed. Keigo knew there was a whole lot more dark, sticky goop clinging to the underbelly of it like poisonous snakes, ready and waiting to attack. 

☼

In another villa, just beside them, sat Tenko and Spinner.

“How would you describe your marriage?” Sako Atsuhiro, their therapist, asked. 

Spinner pursed his lips. “Perfect.”

Tenko blinked. “Great.”

“Yes, amazing,” Spinner added.

“So wonderful.” Tenko’s voice was dry. He sounded sarcastic, even though that was the last thing he wanted to be.

Sako raised an eyebrow, glancing down at his notebook. “Right. Let’s start with an easier question, then.”

Spinner gaped. “That was a hard question? Fuck, yeah! We’re gonna ace this!” He spun around, his arm raised high to greet Tenko with a high-five.

Sako took more notes, and Tenko thought they were going to die. There was no way he was going to make it through therapy with such an idiot beside him. 

☼

Rumi and Moe nodded, sitting close together with their knees bumping. 

“Just say what you feel,” Sosaki encouraged, nodding her head calmly. Her dark bob swayed with her, poking her cheek and the slight blush laying underneath. 

“Um, like, right now?” Moe wondered, her hands waving around her as she squinted.

“Mmhmm,” Sosaki said with a nod, waiting patiently. 

Green hair flared around her as Moe whipped around, turning so that she was facing Rumi completely on the shared sofa. “Frustrated,” she confessed confidently, her eyebrows set determinedly on her face as if this was some great rock-climbing exercise she and Rumi were tackling instead.

Rumi was taken aback, red eyes staring straight back at Moe. “Shocked,” she admitted. “Angry. I thought you wanted to explore the world with me?”

Moe’s eyes widened like exploding frying pans, and she gripped onto Rumi’s hands briskly. “I do! I do! I just...we’ve been doing it for a long time now. Don’t you want to try something else?”

As green eyes searched hers, Rumi turned away, pulling her hands back. She knew where this was leading; they’d had this conversation a hundred times before and she didn’t want to have it again. It was all about kids when it came down to it. But she didn’t want to end up like Keigo and Touya. Sure, they had a family, but aside from that, life had come to a standstill. Keigo looked tired every day, and Touya looked tired of Keigo. 

She didn’t want to look back on life and think she was tired of Moe; she didn’t ever want to think she was tired of Moe. 

“This works,” was her only response, just as fierce and headstrong as Moe. 

“Let’s visit that,” Sosaki cut in. “What ‘works’ in your relationship?”

Moe grinned. “I love Rumi,” she said as if it was as easy as breathing, and it was nice to have that reassurance—to know that no matter what was happening, at least they still loved one another. “Whenever I forget something, she reminds me of it, and whenever she forgets something, which is all the time, by the way—”

“Hey!” Rumi exclaimed, kicking out and laughing slightly when Moe burst out into cackles.

She sobered after a minute. “We do everything together,” she told Sosaki. “She’s been there in all the big parts of my life, and I’ve been there in all the big parts of hers. Whenever we think of an idea, we always help to flesh it out together. That’s how the travel blog started, actually! Rumi and I wanted to explore the world, and we wanted to do it with our friends, but they couldn’t come with us, so we had to share it with them over the internet, and then the travel blog happened.”

Her hands were moving at a hundred miles per minute, flashing this way and that as fast as her lips raced through the words, as if she was on a zip line through the trees like how’d they done so many times before. Rumi never got tired of watching Moe get excited over something, and it felt even better to know she was excited about them. 

“How long have you been together?” Sosaki asked, her pen ready on her notebook. 

“Eight years,” Rumi replied easily. 

“Almost nine,” Moe amended, her grin pulling a matching one—bright and white and sparkling—from Rumi too.

“That’s a long time,” Sosaki observed. “You seem very happy together, but have you thought about how you might do too much together?”

Moe tipped her head to the side. “Not really,” she admitted. “I like being around Rumi.” Suddenly, her head whipped around, bright eyes gleaming in plain panic. “Unless that’s the issue? Do you still like being around me?”

“I do!” Rumi blurted out because only an idiot would have been able to see that she didn’t. 

She couldn’t put it into words, no matter how much she tried. Normally, words were one of the easiest things to come to her. She was blunt, and people liked that about her—her no-bullshit attitude. Moe had a similar approach to things, and maybe that was why they got on like a house on fire, burning with bright flames that shined just as much as their personalities. Moe was fun to be around, and Rumi didn’t want that fun to end.

“Sometimes, independence is lost in couples,” Sosaki mentioned gently.

“Do you think our independence is lost?” Moe asked, her voice loud but confused, and anyone would be. Independent was one of the words people always described her and Moe with, so for Sosaki to now say that everyone was wrong and it was actually the exact opposite was nothing short of surreal. 

Sosaki tipped her head to the side, one finger tapping her cheek where her hair met the skin. Her eyes were bright like theirs, and under any other circumstance, Moe actually thought she, Rumi and Sosaki could have been great friends. 

“I’ve only known you for about twenty minutes,” she considered, “but you both strike me as the very outgoing and headstrong type. I think you are independent, but you’ve grown too used to one another’s presence. Things have become comfortable, and when that happens, sometimes, communication is lost.”

Rumi’s mind wandered back to Touya and Keigo, and how their communication had broken down more than anyone else’s. She couldn’t tell if no one else could see it, or if everyone was just turning a blind eye to their relationship. She couldn’t have been the only one to notice, right? Especially since she no longer saw them every day, despite being best friends with them for years. 

Toga was one of the most perceptive people she knew. Surely, she had noticed as well? And despite how obsessive Tenko got, especially with a new game, he had to have noticed how different things were.

Moe pursed her lips, glancing to her wife next to her. “Yeah, maybe,” she replied to Sosaki. 

☼

“You’re not actually married, are you?” Magne guessed, a warm smile sliding over her lips and tickling the amusement in her eyes. 

Jin spluttered, jerking wildly in his spot on the sofa, his arms and legs flying around him like a fish out of water, as Toga spat out the juice she was drinking, soaking Magne head-to-toe in pale orange liquid.

She and Jin froze, silent like an ice statue in the middle of some great palace’s courtyard. Magne blinked back at them, her quiet hands moving to find a tissue to clean her face.

Magne was a sweet woman with dark red hair to match the cherry lipstick painting her lips. On her head sat large sunglasses, dark and dramatic like the kind Toga dreamed of skipping down a runway in. 

They thought they had been slick, answering each question Magne threw their way with the knowledge and expertise of a best friend—the best kind of knowledge out there! Only, Magne had seen right through them, and long eyelashes watched them curiously, the smile still littering her face, despite the drink all being wiped off now.

“How did you know?” Toga wondered, amazed like a child at a planetarium.

Jin worried on his lip, his fingers coming up to hide his face as paranoia got the better of him. “Don’t expose us! We’ll be good, we promise!”

Toga bat at his arms with her crab flip flops.

Magne let out a laugh, deep and warm like a late winter evening with a hot chocolate by the fireside. “I won’t tell anyone, don’t worry,” she promised, and Jin and Toga instantly relaxed, folding like a stack of cards against the cool-toned sofa supporting their backs.

“But how did this happen? Why aren’t you on the singles side of the island?”

Toga huffed, her breath puffing her blonde bangs up on her forehead. It flew like a sail in the wind, billowing out before gently falling back down. “Our friends wanted to come here, but they needed us for the ‘Pelican Package’, or whatever it’s called,” she explained. “They told me there’d be jet skis! And canoes! And fun things! I wanna go boogie boarding!” she exclaimed, sitting up abruptly and sticking her legs into the air, almost sending her crab flip flops flying.

Magne sucked her bottom lip between her teeth, nodding sagely. “What about you, Jin? Why did you agree to this?”

Jin sighed, empty and hollow. He sounded like a man who’d carried the energy of the universe in his bones, and now, it was turning him brittle, sucking out his fading life force and leaving him with nothing but heavy eye bags. “I’m tired,” he admitted. “I want to have fun.”

“Jin just got a divorce,” Toga whispered, hissing the statement over the room as if it was a cursed sentence. 

“Oh,” Magne let out, her lips forming a perfect ‘O’ in the process. “Would you like a hug?” she asked, and Jin looked like he could cry.

Toga sprung up immediately, jumpy and energetic as always. “Group hug!” she screamed, her face scrunching in excitement. 

Magne was taller than both of them, and her warm arms wrapped around them perfectly. Toga wondered if she could fit their therapist in her suitcase to take home.

“By the way,” Magne whispered as they were about to leave, their session having ended way over ten minutes ago, “if you want to have some fun, they keep a group set of canoes on the beach about ten minutes west of the restaurant. There’s a path going through the forest that should lead you to them. As long as you have them back by the morning, no one will ever know they were gone.”

Toga’s squeals turned even louder, more outrageous than before, as she hugged Magne back tighter. She and Jin left the villa with cheers over their faces, stretching wide enough to hurt.

iii. heart like the ocean

“How was everyone’s morning?” Moe asked, bright and cheery as always as she plopped down onto one of the couch seats in the restaurant.

The sun was high above the trees, blinking through the leaves as the day passed on, the hours slipping by quicker than Touya thought they would. It was only one in the afternoon and the group had gathered to have lunch together. It would have been nice, a sweet meal while in paradise, but Touya still wouldn’t look at Keigo. Instead, he shoved him off as if every touch burned like a hot poker stick. 

“Oh, my god!” Toga cried, spinning around in a flowery dress she’d donned at some point—probably when they’d all gone back to their villas to freshen up after their ‘couples skill-building’ sessions. “We met the best person ever! Magne is so sweet, and she even told us where to find canoes!”

Jin rushed forward, giggling as he shushed Toga, pressing a hand over his lips as he stumbled around in one spot.

“I want Wi-Fi,” Tenko demanded, pouting like a big baby as he fell into the sofa seat across from Moe. 

It was a singular one, ensuring no one else could sit with him and he was completely alone. Touya took the last one like it, studying the drinks menu intensely as Keigo’s eyes darted around. The blonde sighed as he sat down on one of the larger sofas, away from where Touya was.

“It was okay,” he said to Moe’s question and let the conversation be ripped from him, flowing in a direction he had no control over. 

Rumi sat down next to him, and they all listened as Toga explained her elaborate plans to visit the singles’ side of the island: Eden East. It was a complete party place, apparently, and it didn’t really interest Keigo that much. He was tired, and the relaxed pace of Eden West already seemed to be too much. He would rather chill and do nothing than try to dance all night with blazing booze tumbling over his throat, killing his liver in a slow, merciless dance. 

“We can take the canoes at night and row over to the other side!” Toga cheered, her voice just barely above a whisper but carrying effortlessly through the restaurant.

Keigo half expected Mirio to appear out of nowhere as if he could phase through Eden itself, popping out through the wall and giving them the fright of their lives. Currently, they hadn’t been the most respectful guests here, but when he really looked at their friend group, at the bunch of eclectic people they’d chosen and gathered to go on this holiday, something peaceful and courteous was far out of the question. They were a group of loud, rude, audacious individuals who hated authority and preferred to work alone. They spat at anyone who tried to tell them otherwise, and they stuck together like leeches to blood, hurting anyone who tried to get in their way or goals.

It was weird to think that Keigo had become so inextricably linked with people like this. He was someone who preferred working alone. He was someone who hated authority. It made sense, in the end, but it was still weird to think that Keigo, someone who’d grown up always being told what to do, who to be, what to say and what to wear, was now running around with a bunch of free spirits who really gave no shits what he did or not.

They liked him for him, and he’d forgotten that—forgotten what it meant to really be himself. And then, he’d ruined it. 

Touya sat across from him, looking anywhere but him, talking with anyone but him. He even willingly went into a conversation with Toga and Jin, something only a mad man would do. Yet, Touya was smiling, laughing along with Jin’s jokes that made no sense and Toga’s eccentric ideas for her next outfit. She wanted to go back home with a suitcase stuffed to the brim with memories and crab flip flops, and anything else she thought was worthy enough to clutter her apartment with. 

Rumi nudged his elbow, bringing him back to reality. The surrounding noise of the restaurant filtered through Keigo’s ears, blowing up like a large, orange balloon in his mind and humming static like the wings of a buzzing hummingbird. 

“Hey,” Rumi said, not indelicately but not gently, either. 

She was straightforward, and that was what Keigo liked about her, he guessed. He was tired of all the words people wrapped around themselves, twisting lies into facts and his perception of them. He was used to biting his tongue, taking in everything he could to unveil who someone really was, but it was refreshing to not have to do that for a while. Rumi was his first real friend, and Keigo didn’t think he could ever truly let go of her. 

“You disappeared for a sec. Come back to us.”

Keigo flashed her a smile, but it must have been too slight or too late, or too something else that he couldn’t be bothered to examine and identify right now. “Sorry,” he apologised.

“It wasn’t great, was it?” she pondered, figuring out everything that Keigo was thinking about in barely any time at all.

Keigo shook his head, letting his face tell her everything. He’d dropped his half-assed smile—the one he always had on for show. Touya used to tell him how much he hated that smile, but Keigo couldn’t drop it. He’d become too used to pulling it on every second; it was almost like his own personal defence mechanism, now, and Keigo had no idea what could possibly replace it. 

He wasn’t a great, tall man with bulging muscles. He didn’t have iron armour to shield his skin, so he made do with whatever he had at his disposal. Small, tight fake smiles seemed to be the easiest thing he could grab onto. It made sense for him, and maybe it was selfish, but he didn’t want to let it go. It was like the ratty, worn-out toy he’d been given when he was younger, told to hold onto if he was ever frightened, scared or alone. It was familiar and warm, and Keigo always felt better when he was clutching onto it.

Rumi looked like she wanted to say more, elaborate on something Keigo wasn’t privy to, but a waitress arrived and took their order. Touya’s voice boomed through the white noise, cutting through the static like a bull on fire, and the tiniest semblance of privacy residing over Rumi and Keigo like a rainforest canopy dissipated, dispersing into the air and melding into the background chatter like evaporating water. 

Spinner slunk down on the other side of Keigo, flanking him as he brought a hearty, loaded sandwich to his face with all the grace of a dying, choking seagull squawking through the clouds overhead. 

Upon noticing his stare, Spinner thrust his sandwich in Keigo’s face, little sprigs of lettuce falling to the floor as he talked with his mouth still full. “Wha-ncht a bi’e?”

It came out garbled, but Keigo got the offer, the golden chimes of laughter tinting his cheeks as he leaned away, declining the tactless question with a brisk shake of his head. Somewhere to his side, Touya laughed, loud and free, joined with Jin’s ugly snorts and Toga’s characteristic squeals. Moe howled, choking on her food indelicately and scrambling for water with shaky hands. Rumi lunged across the coffee table, almost knocking over a salad, to which Tenko could only scream, “My cabbages!”

In a heartbeat, everything Keigo had been killing his head so pointlessly over for the last hour was washed away like chalk left behind on a blackboard. His own laughs—his real laughs—burst out, joining the rag-tag orchestra assembling in front of him. The sun began to set, taking the day with it, and drinks were passed around, each person getting more and more inebriated. 

“I don’t wanna sleep!” Toga yelled, her arms sprawled in a rainbow over her head as she kicked up the sand around her. 

They’d moved outside to sit around a bonfire, some marshmallows a kind staff member had offered to them sitting warm in their stomachs and melting over roasted skewers. 

“We could stay here forever!” she screamed into the night, and then jumped onto Touya’s back, laughing wildly as Touya caught her in a wobbly grasp, needing a minute to adjust himself before taking off in a lazy circle around everyone. 

“Me next!” Jin let out, pumping his arms up high into the air and almost giving Touya a heart attack.

He dropped Toga onto the floor, ignoring her cries as her butt hit the sand harshly.

“Meanie,” she grumbled, dusting herself off as she stood up. 

Touya was an ass, and he was cheeky like one when he wanted to be. He smirked as he spun around, “How sad, Toga Himiko,” falling from his lips in such a dry, taunting way that could only make her gape at him, her bubblegum-tinged gums exposed to the cool island air.

Soft violin entered the sky, and Moe sprung to her feet, pulling the first person around her to join her dance. Tenko’s garbled yelps escaped into the night, and Keigo found himself being tugged by Rumi’s strong arms. She swirled him into a messy twirl, uncoordinated in a way that could only scream them—Rumi had big feet, and Keigo was, perhaps, one of the most uncoordinated people on the planet when it came to artistic things like this. 

I want every night to be like this, Keigo couldn’t stop himself from thinking, but it was a mirage of a dream. He was kidding himself, really, because while this was wonderful and fun, and he was smiling more than he had in months—he felt freer than he had in years—something felt wrong. Everything, in fact, felt wrong. This was too easy, too simple. 

Nothing about it had been easy, however. Keigo had worked for years to even be able to get in a position like this, and he was dancing under the moonlight, his favourite people around him. Yet, he wasn’t happy.

That night, as he sat in his villa and Touya padded around, only dressed in his beach day shorts and baring his scars for anyone to see (but it was only Keigo here), Keigo bit his lip, tilting his head to spy the door Touya was slipping out of. Sharp blue eyes caught him, cutting his tongue off like a diamond sword, and the door to the balcony slammed shut. The indefinite sound of a lock clicking closed spilt into the air. 

Keigo fell back against the sofa he was resting on, the pillows around his head swallowing his musty blonde hair, clawing at his eyes as if they were precious jewels when Keigo knew they were anything but.

It took ten minutes for him to gather the courage to stand up. Keigo always thought of himself as brave. Kind of. 

Other people told him he was brave, standing up against monsters when others wouldn’t, but it wasn’t really something he would describe himself with. After all, he’d spent months saying he was too tired, too busy, just to avoid having a conversation with Touya that he was about to have now.

He cleared his throat and made his way to the double doors separating him from the outside. Their bed was little more than a metre away, and this day had started so beautifully. Keigo had been truly happy, as if everything that he thought went wrong had magically resolved itself with one night alone with Touya. But, clearly, he was wrong. Very, very wrong. 

Looking back at the bed, now, felt bittersweet. He felt bodily sick and homesick at the same time. His stomach was twirling in the confines of his body, pressing against all his other organs until it was piercing his heart. His lips tugged downwards, and he frowned subconsciously. 

His knuckles rapped against the door. It was too quiet and too loud at the same time. Keigo couldn’t help but think he was doing everything wrong this evening.

“Touya?” he asked, making sure his voice was strong and stable enough to carry through the wood. “Touya, we need to talk.”

The phrase made his stomach twist even more until it felt like it was even mangling his throat, spinning the muscles until they looked like a kebab on a rotating rack, just ready to be shaved and served. The phrase never brought anything good; Keigo had always associated it with break-ups and the like. Yet, interestingly enough, every time he and Touya broke up in the past, before they got married, they never started it with that phrase. 

In fact, Keigo doubted that he’d ever said it to Touya before, as strange as it sounded. The words felt foreign on his lips in that specific order, wrong in all the ways Keigo couldn’t describe.

Touya didn’t reply, and only silence permeated through the night. 

Keigo tried again, rapping his knuckles even harder—hard enough to make the door quiver. “Touya, we really need to talk. Please don’t ignore me.”

He bit his lip, waiting patiently even though Keigo had never been known for his patience—that was always Touya’s forte, not his. It was why he was always so good with the kids, why he could sit down and help Riku with his homework where Keigo would end up getting frustrated and doing it for him. 

A few minutes passed. Keigo gave up, sighing through his nose as he dragged himself over to their bed, plopping himself down on it face-first. 

He wasn’t too sure how long had passed—maybe a few seconds, maybe half an hour—but the door unlocked and Touya shuffled through the room, dropping his towel somewhere and disappearing into the bathroom. The light from it spilt through the crack in the slightly ajar door, leaking warm, yellow light over the serene blue of the floor. The calm waves of the ocean rolled outside, soothing like a soundtrack to help Keigo fall asleep. 

A warm weight slipped under the sheets, shifting them away from Keigo as the bed dipped and Touya crawled next to him. Keigo rolled over, instantly meeting the remnants of scars over Touya’s back. He raised a hand, hesitant as he reached out to touch the skin.

Touya didn’t jerk or flinch. He stayed deathly still as Keigo scooted closer, wrapping an arm around his waist and finding his palm. Their fingers intertwined without much effort, the result of an action practised countless times over the years. It was scary how easy it was to be close to Touya.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered into the dark, the sheets holding his confession like a sacred secret as if it was something to be protected. “I shouldn’t have said that.”

Touya, finally, had a reaction that was more than simple ignorance. He exhaled a hot, heavy breath that dragged the atmosphere of the room down with him. It sat over them like a weighted blanket, pressing down on their chests, and Keigo knew there was a crease between Touya’s pretty brows. His face was stormy, and Keigo wanted nothing more than to reach between them, turn that face to his, and smoothen out the frown until it ceased to exist anymore.

But he was the cause of the frown, as stupid as he thought it was. He’d gone too far; powerlessness was always something that surrounded Touya like a dark Cumulonimbus cloud. It sank down on his frame like thousands of gallons of rainwater soaking into his skin, casting a dark shadow around him that he could never swim out of. Everything came down to him and his father, really, and Keigo had long accepted that nothing would ever change that. No matter what they did or talked about, no matter where they went or who they hung out with, Touya would always deal with the scars his father placed over his body, and he’d always deal with the shadow that followed it. 

Keigo claiming that Touya was only ignoring him as a sick power play was unfair, even if he still did think it was true. 

“I’m sorry,” he said again and tried to turn Touya around to face him, pressing down lightly on his shoulder. 

It didn’t work. Touya remained as stubborn as ever, only doing something when he wanted to. Keigo was left in the dark, alone, even though his husband was lying right next to him. They were touching, their hands on skin and head against head. Their hair was mingling, dark and light strands tangling together like their legs and Keigo was holding his hand, yet, Touya still ignored him. 

It was petty and infuriating. 

“I said I’m sorry,” he repeated. “Touya, what do you want me to do? Just not work? Then how will we be able to afford the house? The TV? The car? The—”

Touya whirled around, his body temperature rising to almost scalding. “Shut up.” 

His eyes were as cold as his words, pushing Keigo back with enough force for him to recoil, his face twisting like faded ink. The light phasing in through the windows cut across his face like a block, leaving half of it in dull blue and the other to illuminate his left eye in silver-white. 

“Kei, shut the fuck up. Are you serious right now? Do you remember what Shinsou said? He said we’re a team. A team,” he spat in Keigo’s face, getting closer and closer with each word. “You’re not the only one employed in this family, so stop acting like you fucking are.”

“A team?” Keigo laughed, his eyes wide as he sprung up, keeping his balance with one palm pushing into the mattress. 

He leaned over Touya, half-delirious as he giggled cynically. There was no humour in the sound, and anyone would be deterred by it—freaked out, even—but this was Touya he was speaking to, and he’d done the same thing too many times for this to be weird. 

“You don’t even talk to me anymore. How can you say we’re a team when you spend the whole fucking day ignoring me?”

“You ignore me all the time!” Touya cried back, sitting up on his knees, so he was the taller one now. “You don’t want to talk about anything when you get home!”

“I’m tired,” Keigo bit back, his teeth grinding with the pressure from his jaws. “It’s late, and when I get home, all I want to do is sit with you. I don’t want to talk about how the lights are broken, and we need to get a new one. I don’t want to talk about whether or not I’ll be taking a holiday for the kids during their next break because I don’t know! I don’t know what I’m going to do, and I’m tired, okay?” 

His voice fell silent by the end, each word slowing down from their rampant rollercoaster ride and trailing miserably to the finish line. Keigo knew he’d won; he could see it in the way Touya looked back at him, quiet and furious. 

“I can’t be here,” he said lowly, sliding from the bed and moving to find his shoes. 

He pattered across the room, long legs taking him to the door in a few seconds.

“Wait,” Keigo called out, pausing slightly. “Where are you going?”

Touya shot him a nasty glare. “Away from you.” He slammed the door in Keigo’s face, not giving him a chance to reply.

Keigo jerked it open, running outside on bare feet. It was warm, comfortable despite the night sky stretching over them. Touya’s back slipped away through the shadows, heading towards one of the other villas and stopping at the door, knocking furiously until Tenko’s tired head peeped out, his red eyes irritated. They glowed like traffic lights in the dark.

Keigo opened his mouth to say something, maybe call Touya back, grab his hand and try to figure everything out, but Touya muttered some words, low enough for Keigo to not be able to hear over the gentle roll of the ocean waves. Tenko’s crimson eyes blinked to the side, searching through the night until they landed on him, and he stepped back, allowing Touya to rush in through the door. 

Keigo went silent as Tenko slipped inside, too, shutting the villa door behind him. The lights turned on, soft lemon yellow emanating through the windows. The curtains were drawn, a hazy milk sheet over the amber glow, but Keigo could see three figures standing huddled together—talking, probably.

He stood outside until the salt breeze nipped at his skin, turning him cold even though the temperature was warm. He wrapped his arms around himself, rubbing them over his arms in a weak attempt to heat up, and turned around, heading back to his own villa. 

The bed was messy. The sheets were strewn around everywhere and half trailing onto the floor from Touya’s sudden escape. Keigo fixed it, placing it back together with careful, shaky hands. He crawled under them as if he were five-years-old and curled into himself, pressing his face into the pillow and breathing in the brief smell of his and Touya’s shampoo. For the first time since he’d been an adult, Keigo wished that he still had his favourite—his only—superhero soft toy. It was from a show about heroes and villains that used to air when he was young; a leftover toy with ugly stitching that had been discarded in a muddy puddle. But Keigo loved it as if it was brand new. It was taken from him the day he was taken from his parents, and Keigo hadn’t thought about it in a long time.

Now, in the dark and alone, Keigo wished he could hold onto it more than anything else. Somehow, he felt like the bad guy here, and nothing else.

☼

“Good morning,” Shinsou greeted them, leaning back in his chair as his lips slid up slightly, a calm smile overtaking his features.

Keigo and Touya were silent, sitting on either side of the sofa, the furthest possible distance away from one another. Touya had wandered back into their villa, his jaw clenched, at six in the morning. Keigo, used to waking up early and barely sleeping at all, was already up. He tried to reach out, open his mouth and let his words lead the way, but Touya sent him a glare so vicious, he could almost feel his blood curling in recoil.

He turned around, quiet like a scolded child, and pretended to go back to sleep, even though both he and Touya knew he could do anything but that. Sleep was a fickle thing, and it had never come easily to Keigo. He didn’t think it ever would, to be honest—at least not in the same way it came to Hina or Rumi. Touya had trouble sometimes sleeping, too, but Keigo felt like when he’d finally been able to close his eyes, he could knock out like a lightbulb. Keigo had never been able to snap into sleep like a switch turning off.

He wondered if there was any point in pulling a smile over his face, moulding cheer and laughter into his voice, if Touya’s lips were pulled sourly between his teeth, his furrowed eyes concentrating so hard on a random spot on the floor, he might be trying to incinerate it.

“Morning!” he replied, his instinct lagging sluggishly this morning.

Touya didn’t bother to respond to Shinsou. He was probably trying to will this day away, regretting every second he had to spend next to Keigo more.

Shinsou sighed. “I’m guessing you didn’t have a very good night?”

Keigo hesitated, biting his tongue as he glanced to his right, spying Touya’s spiky white hair that had gotten a little thinner over the past few years.

“It was fucking fantastic,” Touya bit out, a familiar snark Keigo knew all too well making their mark in the air. 

Keigo couldn’t help but roll his eyes in response. “You accuse me of ignoring you—” Neglecting you, his mind supplied helpfully, pulling him years and years ago when he was young and scrambling for food, promising he was going to grow up to be so rich, he wouldn’t have to worry about things like that ever again. He gulped. “—but look at you right now. You’re the only one behaving immaturely.”

Touya started laughing as his head turned around. It was a slow action, full of suspense and melodrama, but Keigo’s stomach still twisted as cyan blue sneered through white strands. 

Touya’s lips pulled back nastily. “I hate you,” he announced mirthlessly, and each word took its time to leave his lips, to wade lazily through the air, nudging against the air particles before brushing Keigo’s ears. 

“I know,” he said back. 

His eyes darted down, and he started to wonder if, maybe, Rumi would understand if he suddenly left, exclaimed how this trip was doing nothing more than ruining his already rocky marriage. 

Keigo wanted to go back. He wanted to run, sprint, fly—whatever he could do—back to a few days ago when he came home, tired and full of dread, but at least he could hit his pillow and let his eyes slam shut. He could ignore everything deteriorating right in front of him, just like how he had been doing for the last while. 

But now, every dirty truth was being uncovered right in front of him, dug up from its dingy grave and sprung into his face, spraying flecks of wet mud everywhere. 

“Wow,” Shinsou commented. “Clearly, a lot has happened in the last twenty-four hours, or so, that I’ve last seen you. Touya, why don’t you clarify on that? Why, exactly, do you ‘hate’ Keigo?”

“He’s a hypocritical, manipulative bitch.”

Keigo scoffed. “Really? You’re saying that? You? Right now?”

“God! Can you fucking shut up?”

Shinsou intervened again, somehow slotting himself into their argument like a smooth baby hair; Keigo almost didn’t notice it happening. “What did Keigo do that’s making you feel this way?”

“I didn’t do anything,” Keigo defended himself uselessly, his words falling on deaf ears all around him.

Shinsou took a note, and Touya started talking. “Yesterday, Kei accused me of ignoring him when he’s the one who barely has any time for me. He’s the one who never wants to talk. He’s the one who avoids everything as if that will make it go away!” Touya turned on him, his snarl back and exposing white teeth to the air. Keigo had always been a little jealous over how conventionally pretty he was. Or, would be, if he didn’t have all the scars. “You think I’ll forget? I don’t forget anything, jackass.”

Keigo shook his head. “I don’t ignore you because I want to, unlike a certain someone. I have work, and I can’t get home until later—”

“You leave me to do everything by myself. I pick up the kids. I drop them off. I make dinner. What do you do, Kei? Nothing. You do nothing.”

Keigo was honestly insulted. He didn’t know why he kept trying at this point. Touya was never going to get it. Maybe it was a rich kid thing—something just as unavoidable from his childhood as his scars, another that would remain with him all throughout his life, too. Touya hadn’t grown up watching every penny. Maybe he didn’t know just how much went into keeping the cogs of a household moving smoothly. Maybe all of Keigo’s efforts were for nothing.

“Keigo,” Shinsou started, grabbing both his and Touya’s attention instantly, “do you see where Touya is coming from? I know you work hard, and you get tired at the end of the day, but to Touya, to your teammate, it can feel like you’re deprioritising him. You’re pushing him to the side and telling him he’s not worth your time or effort, even if you don’t mean to.”

“But…” Keigo trailed off as Touya sat a little straighter, the smug merriment from finally winning in an argument puffing his bones out as if they were a lion’s chest.

Keigo never meant to ‘deprioritise’ Touya, or tell him he wasn’t worth his time and effort. The last few years of them being together was direct proof of that. The last person Keigo wanted to hurt was his own husband, but that clearly didn’t matter if he was hurting him anyway. He felt like his parents and his carers—every person who tried to get close to Keigo and tell him how he was meant to be. He wondered if, despite all his thoughts, wishes and experiences, he had turned out just like them. 

“And, Touya, you’re not making it any easier. What do you hope to achieve out of ignoring Keigo? Communication is key in a relationship, and by responding with silence, you’re not telling Keigo what he needs to do to make the situation better. You’re a team, so you need to tackle this problem like one. That means trying to understand one another and not remaining trapped under stubborn pettiness.” 

Shinsou crossed his legs and took a breath. “Look, I’m not trying to tell you how to do things, but you both need to make sacrifices; you both need to change. It’s not one person’s fault for this happening, and the sooner you realise that the sooner you can come together to figure out a way past this.” He sighed, licking his finger quickly to slip through his notebook. “Keigo, yesterday, you said you both ‘work well together’. So work well through this together. I believe you can do this.”

Touya turned away, and even though Shinsou was a nice person and a qualified therapist, he’d only known them for two days, if these sessions even counted as grounds for getting to know someone at all. Keigo wasn’t too sure how much his words counted—or if they had any impact at all. 

Touya was looking away, and Keigo felt further away from him than ever before. He said he hated him. 

Touya said he hated him, and he never threw that word around lightly. 

If this was it—if this was really the end of them and they couldn’t get over this, move past it like how they’d moved past everything else life threw at them—Keigo didn’t know what he would do. He had a feeling he’d never get over it. Not in any way that counted, at least.

He’d be stuck, thinking about Touya for the rest of his life, while Touya wouldn’t even be able to look at him. It was ironic, he guessed, for him, the one with clear, smooth skin, to be the one Touya couldn’t stand to look at anymore—and for it not to be the other way around.

Keigo wondered if he deserved this. He felt like someone had dropped him in the middle of the vast, cold ocean, and now, his body was freezing.

☼

Magne was nice in a comfortable, relaxing way. She made Toga feel safe, and she was one of the only fun people on this side of the island. Toga bet that on the other side of the island, where all the singles were, there was a lot more going on. But now, as she swung her legs over the side of the couch arm, Jin sitting on the floor and getting lost in the various therapy cards strewn around his feet, Toga felt like this could be one part of the trip that was definitely worth it.

“How’s that?” Magne asked, her honey-warm eyes twinkling under the morning sun shining in through the windows.

Toga held up her hand and glittery red nail polish shimmied as her fingers danced. “It’s perfect! Thank you so much, Big Sis Magne!” Her legs kicked up in the air as she giggled on her back, taking extra care to not ruin her freshly painted nails as she grinned at them. 

“You’re welcome,” Magne said back serenely, her sunglasses propped on her head. She sported similar nail polish on her fingers. Only, this time, it was a dark midnight blue in colour. 

Toga had barely spent any time with Magne, but she was already attached. Magne noticed this developing obsession, of course, but even though they were in their Couples Skill-Building session, Toga and Jin were just there to hang out. After hearing Toga complain about how there was barely anything fun to do during their previous session, Magne decided to bring her nail polish set along with her today, and that’s what they were doing right now: dolling one another up as if they were long-time friends at a sleepover.

“Me next!” Jin exclaimed, hopping up onto the sofa and almost crushing Toga’s legs. She moved out of the way just in time, the most betrayed expression on her face Magne’s ever seen—and she’d been in the same room as couples who had just figured out the other was cheating on them. 

“What’s the singles’ side of the island like?” Toga wondered, her voice carrying across the room casually, but with the way her eyes slid to the side, sharp like a diamond chandelier, she was anything but.

Magne laughed. It was a rough sound but it reverberated through her chest, lighting up her features and making her hands shaky as she picked up the green nail polish Jin pointed to. It was a simple finish—nothing shimmery and bold like Magne’s and Toga’s. It was cool and understated, and somehow, it seemed like exactly something Jin would alleviate towards.

“It’s loud,” Magne responded, carefully coating Jin’s thumbnail with the dark, rich shade. “Parties go on all day, and they get even wilder at night.” 

Toga’s eyes glittered as she held her hands to her face, pressing her palms against her cheeks until her nails acted as pseudo blusher, pretty and crimson like running blood.

“There’s alcohol everywhere and the flash of cameras,” she continued. “Oh! And Sero DJs during the nights. He has a great smile. I think you’d like him.”

“Is he pretty?” Toga asked, her blonde eyebrows perking up.

“He’s handsome,” Magne attested, nodding her head along as Jin ‘ooh-ed’ and ‘aah-ed’. “He’s friends with some of the younger staff members here. They spend most of their nights at the staff shack, but I have my own villa.”

Jin gasped. “You’re so cool!”

“You are!” Toga agreed, fanning her arms around as she rotated herself on the sofa, leaning back, so her legs hung over the back of the couch and her head laid upside-down. Blonde strands, messy from her buns, splayed over the floor, reaching down like hundreds of tendrils or vines. 

She grinned cheekily. “I wanna go there,” Toga admitted. “It’s boring here.” she pouted, and for a second, Magne felt like there was something lying underneath, hiding like a dark, bloody monster only waiting to be revealed to the light. 

“Why is that?” she prodded, poking the beast in hopes of drawing it out. She was usually blunt and obtuse, but being a therapist gave her the insight for gentleness. It was a great skill, and it seemed to be perfect for right now. “Don’t you have your friends?”

“Yeah!” Jin responded, but his voice wavered, as if he knew something deep down. “You have us, Toga! You can always rely on us!”

Toga’s smile faltered for a fraction of a second. She was quick to get it back up again; act as if nothing happened. But Magne judged people for a living. She could spot things like this a mile away. 

She waited patiently, moving onto Jin’s other hand and beginning to coat the fingernails there in the velvety nail polish.

“Yeah…” Toga started, drawing out the word, long and slowly. She held her hand in the air, analysing the way the sunlight shone through it, highlighting the blood vessels and veins running under her skin. “But everyone is kind of old…”

Jin sputtered, moving so drastically that Magne cursed out loud, not even bothering to excuse herself and pretend to be professional—she was, after all, painting her clients’ nails instead of actually doing her job. Although, she guessed, as she dug deeper into what Toga thought, what was really niggling away at the younger woman, she was doing her job. Her job was to help; provide aid. She was doing that by just being Toga’s and Jin’s friend, she felt. 

It was nice to be needed. 

“Don’t get me wrong!” Toga quickly amended, eyes blowing wide as Jin rambled beside her, words bubbling out his mouth like a babbling baby, despite him being forty years old. “I love my friends! They’re the best family ever!”

Magne saved that quote in her head, storing it in a filing cabinet for future use. It may never be necessary, but Toga exclaiming such a fact like that so freely said a lot about her character. It said a lot about the dynamic of the group as well. She was comfortable enough to think of them as the people closest to her, and that was really a wonderful thought, to be honest. Not many people could say the same about their friend group—or anyone who was close to them. Not many people had such an inner circle, Magne included.

“But…” Toga hummed, tipping her head to the side and letting her bangs brush across her skin. 

Blonde splayed against the rugs on the floor and hit Jin’s arm. He didn’t even flinch at the contact. Instead, he turned his head to the side, listening quietly and intently as if every word falling from Toga’s mouth was the most important thing he could ever hear. 

Toga’s face fell slightly sad, the smile giving away to a light frown. She didn’t look upset, but more just a little troubled, as if something had been weighing down on her for a while and she never had the chance, or the words, to express it. “I want to be myself,” she declared finally.

“You can be yourself with us!” Jin cut in, but Magne shushed him, tugging on his hand slightly to draw his adept attention away.

Toga’s smile was back, not as full as it was before, but she seemed happy. Reminiscent, almost. “I’m twenty-seven,” she muttered, “and I hang out with a bunch of thirty-five-year-olds. It’s not bad, but I’ve never had a friend my age. Everyone’s busy all the time and I know I’m only getting older. I’m going to be just like them. Except...I’ve barely achieved anything.”

Her face tipped back, the crown of her head meeting the floor as she looked Magne directly in the eyes. “I’ve done nothing in my life, and soon, it’s all going to be over. I think I’m missing my shot.”

Magne was stunned, silent for a few seconds as she watched Jin warble in front of her, waving his hands around and destroying his nail polish, despite all of Magne’s previous efforts. She guessed it didn’t matter. It was clear Toga was hurting—had been for a while, actually—but Jin didn’t even blink once at the thought of ruining his own fingernails. He instantly launched into a hundred reasons why Toga shouldn’t be feeling this way; why she was amazing and deserved everything in her life. Magne could see, now, what it was about this group that made Toga call them ‘family’. It was the little moments like this, the instantaneous rush to hold another one up, to stop the triangle from crumbling by building the strongest base possible, that made the group have such a strong bond. Or, at least, Magne could only assume that the rest of the group felt the same way, but Toga’s and Jin’s friendship seemed to be proof enough. 

Toga wasn’t old, but she felt old among a group who had decided to slow down. Her best friend in the entire world was forty, for god’s sake. She didn’t know of many other twenty-seven-year-olds who had forty-year-olds as friends, nevermind best friends.

Really, when Toga thought about it, she didn’t know any other twenty-seven-year-olds at all. 

“Jin,” she started, not looking away from her hand at all. “I love you, but you’re old. I want to do something fun and stupid. I felt like I peaked ten years ago and I’ve only been going downhill since. I love seeing Touya’s and Keigo’s kids, but I’m too young to be their go-to aunt for babysitting. I want to do something fun!”

“We can do something fun!” Jin cried out desperately, and Magne felt like she was watching a losing battle here. 

Toga had already made up her mind, and nothing was going to change that. She was headstrong, and that was a wonderful trait to have, but it made her a pain in the ass to try and change. Toga wanted freedom. Right now, her ‘family’ was giving her anything but it. They tried— Jin tried—but it was futile, in the end. Toga wasn’t going to move. She was relentless in her search, and she was going to find an answer she liked.

Magne recalled telling them about the location of the canoes yesterday. She just hoped that, whatever they plan to do, they weren’t too stupid about it. Stealing and trespassing onto the other side of the island was dumb, but getting caught was even dumber. 

“Thank you for the makeover!” Toga exclaimed, springing to her feet in a matter of seconds only fit for someone of an Olympic gymnast background. 

She ran forward, enveloping Magne in a squishy hug. Jin joined them, and Magne wondered if there was any point in doing his nails at all. 

It seemed to make Toga happy, though. Maybe that was all Jin hoped to accomplish anyway. 

☼

Touya’s toes tingled in the water, the coolness of the ocean lapping at his skin in a way he couldn’t tell was soothing or irritating. He held onto the wooden board that acted as a buoy between him and Moe. She had her snorkelling goggles over her eyes. The mouthpiece stuck in between her lips as she gasped and gaped at the schools of fish swimming under them, darting through the coral reefs and playing the aquatic version of tag. She was excited, and Touya had forgotten how overbearing that energy could get. He hated how he’d surrounded himself with extroverts; it was insufferable. 

It was weird to think that he preferred the quiet geekiness Tenko radiated over Moe’s thrillseeker agenda. It was weird to think he preferred Tenko over anything, really. He wasn’t too sure how, exactly, Tenko had remained a firm figure in his life, but it had happened. 

A fish swam by his leg, gross and scaly. Touya felt a chill and a disgusted shiver ran down his spine.

“Touya, are you okay?” Moe suddenly asked, her mouth still filled with the snorkel tube. “You look really green.”

Touya hated fish. It didn’t matter if the fish was cooked, raw, on a plate or swimming in a fish tank; he hated fish. And it was even worse when the fish were swimming all around him. Toshinori was standing on a small boat a few metres away, protected from the cruel overhead sun by the shady roof over his head while Touya melted in the heat and had to hold back the feeling of being sick every time a fish got too near to him. 

Touya glared at Moe, stopping himself from placing his head down on the wooden board between them. Sitting in the middle of them was a wonderful metal bucket of bloody chub: fish food. Moe dropped one into the ocean, watching a curious fish come closer to inspect it.

“I hate this,” Touya snarked. He’d been using that word a lot lately. 

He used to hold that word back, keep it in and only use it in the direst circumstances (read: at his father). He wasn’t Tenko, after all. He had a bit of self-control. However, that self-control seemed to have all but vanished as soon as he spat those words at Keigo this morning, and now, Touya was on a murderous spree, shouting that phrase every chance he got.

It was his fifth time, now, saying that about wading uselessly through the ocean. 

Moe rolled her eyes, not surprised at all by the person she shared her birthday with. “Stop being so dramatic,” she huffed, but she smiled, fondness pulling at her skin. 

Touya sighed, propping his head on his hands as his legs kicked aimlessly under the ocean surface. “Do you think Keigo deprioritises me?”

Moe snapped her head out of the water, dropping the snorkel from her mouth as she pushed the mask to the top of her head. It sat chunkily on the top of her stringy, wet green hair. If Touya squinted really hard, she looked a bit like a strange mermaid. “What do you mean?” she blurted out, surprised but listening.

Touya’s face pinched. “Like, he focuses more on his work than me.” He sounded needy, and he hated that. He wasn’t too sure why he was even asking Moe this, but he felt like he needed a second opinion. Or, well, maybe this counted as a third opinion. 

Moe brushed soggy hair out of her face, shrugging as her fingers caught in the salt-soaked strands. “Yeah, but that’s just Keigo, isn’t it? He’s always been a workaholic.”

“Yeah, fuckin’ guess so,” Touya responded. 

He let Moe get distracted with the fish again, dunking her head under the waves as she held onto the board with one arm.

It was uncomfortable, now, between him and Keigo. Before, Touya was the one avoiding his eyes, ignoring him on purpose for an entire day. However, ever since they left Shinsou’s little therapist villa, Keigo was doing the same thing. It felt like they had both realised something, or were about to, and they didn’t want to quite confront it yet. 

All his life, Touya was scared of turning out like his father, becoming his father. When he and Keigo first decided that they were going to start a family together—buy a house, get a mortgage, and adopt a kid—Touya was terrified. He saw Riku’s eyes, warm and coral-green, and his throat closed up. He wanted to turn around, burst out through the building door, and run the fuck away.

Keigo gripped onto his hand, rubbed a circle into his skin as if he could read Touya’s mind, and smiled so brightly, Touya thought nothing possible could go wrong. That only lasted a few seconds, but by then, it was too late. Touya couldn’t back out of this, and he didn’t want to back out of this. 

He was just scared. He didn’t want his kid to be scared of him, or hate him like how he hated his own father. He always thought, if something had to go wrong, it would be that: he would turn out exactly like his dad. Only, things were going wrong, and it wasn’t for that reason. 

Touya felt shut out, ignored, cast aside. He knew how he sometimes looked when his white hair cast a shadow over his eyes, turning the sharp blue to a cool grey. He knew how he sounded when he didn’t say anything at all, choosing to just close his eyes and pretend things would get better, go away.

Out of both his parents, Touya never thought that he would feel more like his mother than his father. It was subtle, and Keigo was a good guy—he could never be like Todoroki Enji. But Touya couldn’t help but draw the similarities with himself and his mother, their situation and his mother’s. He couldn’t help but drag red yarn across the expanses of his mind, pinning every likeness together until all he could see was the colour red.

Keigo’s favourite colour was red, and so was his father’s. 

“Holy shit!” Moe gasped, her voice strained and tight. 

Touya’s brain kicked into focus, and he spotted Moe’s hands waving frantically in the air as she panicked. Screams and shouts echoed around him, and he opened his mouth to ask whatever the fuck was going on when Moe’s hand slapped against the bucket between them. She paddled away, frantic and scared. Touya tried not to choke as red splattered over his face and body, pooling around him until the water turned a dark crimson. It was only then that he spotted the sharks circling around him.

“Touya!” Keigo screamed, reaching out to him and almost falling over the side of the boat. Rumi gripped around his waist, holding him back even as his arms scrambled out.

Touya tried to breathe. The block of wood had floated away from him, he was sitting in a dark mass of blood, and there were sharks around him. When he looked down, he couldn’t even see his swimming shorts under the sea.

“What do I do?” he yelled, treading water. 

“Keep calm!” Toshinori shouted, his voice booming louder than Touya thought was possible for such a skinny skeleton of a man. “Don’t worry! I am here!”

Touya floundered. “You’re in a fucking boat! I’m in the ocean. In blood. Surrounded by sharks. What the fuck do I do!?”

He wanted to swim away, but there were two sharks looping around him, circling and blocking every chance of escape. He could feel the pressure of the water hit against his legs, swooshing this way and that as sharks darted around under him. He didn’t know how many there were, but he was scared. 

He glanced up and met Keigo’s eyes. They were wide and round, his blonde hair looking a dirty brown against his forehead. The sunlight glinted in them, casting large shards of light through the pupils as his knuckles turned white, clutching the edge of the boat. He looked terrified. Touya gulped.

“They’re lemon sharks!” Toshinori informed him, stretching his voice out over the ocean. “They won’t hurt you!”

Keigo whipped his head around to face him. “He’s sitting in blood!”

A shark snapped through the water, grabbing a piece of fish and brushing Touya’s leg. He froze, lips slamming shut as if they’d been stapled together. 

“Follow my voice!” Toshinori instructed him, waving his hands wildly for Touya to swim forwards. 

He did, trying to utilise the swimming lessons he went to with his siblings when he was younger before quitting. 

“Stop!” 

Touya did exactly that and a light blue fin passed in front of him, barely a metre from where he was. 

“And keep going!” Toshinori yelled again, gesticulating wildly as if he could pull Touya through the waves quicker like that. 

Keigo grabbed onto Touya’s arms as soon as he was within range, leaning so far out of the boat that Rumi was the only thing keeping him in it. He was hauled over the side, collapsing onto the floor in a soaking mess.

“Oh, my god,” Keigo let out, burying his face in Touya’s chest and holding him close. He pulled away, pushing white strands of hair out of Touya’s face and running his hands over his cheeks, sending water everywhere. “Are you okay? Are you hurt? Did they get you? Are your scars okay?”

Touya took a deep breath in, saltwater falling from his lips as he coughed slightly. He peeled Keigo’s hands away, collecting them into his own in an attempt to stop Keigo from shaking so much. He looked on the verge of tears. “Hey, I’m okay,” he croaked. “It wasn’t that bad. Nothing got me.” 

He tried to crack a smirk, but it didn’t seem to lighten the mood. Keigo still stared back at him, his eyebrows creased and his bottom lip was worrying between his teeth. “You fuckin’ scared me,” he mumbled, wrapping his arms around Touya again. 

Moe was sitting on a seat, wrapped in a multicoloured towel with large zigzag patterns running across it. “Sorry, Touya,” she muttered, numb and cold after the rush of adrenaline. 

Touya let his head thump against the side of the boat, his back resting uncomfortably slouched between it and the floor, but he didn’t care as Keigo tightened his grip around him. That was, possibly, one of the scariest moments of his life, and even though it couldn’t have lasted more than only a few minutes, Touya’s heart was still racing under Keigo’s head. His breathing was calming down, returning to a more regular, normal pace; he didn’t want to do that ever again.

He was just glad Keigo was talking to him again, even if the slightest bit of him was pissed that it took what looked like a life-and-death situation for this to happen. 

He stroked a hand through Keigo’s drying hair and nodded gratefully as Rumi tossed him a spare towel. Toshinori was saying something in the background, the boat having started moving again, but Touya couldn’t hear him. He just wanted to go home.

☼

“Touya was in a shark incident,” Rumi declared, plopping herself down next to Toga. 

The sun had set, and it was six in the evening. The group sat around a rectangular table outside, a large bonfire raging behind them and accompanying various other couples and groups at the surrounding tables.

Toga’s eyes bulged open wide as she sucked a cherry-red drink through an overly convoluted straw. “Really?” she marvelled, a creepy grin stretching around the straw. 

Touya kicked her under the table. “Yes. It was traumatic, and it wouldn’t have happened had one person not panicked and chucked the entire fucking bucket of chub all over me.”

Moe slammed her hand down on the table, rising fast as she attempted to defend herself. “There were sharks! It was an accident! I didn’t mean to leave you there in a puddle of blood!”

Toga gaped, giggling maniacally. “There was blood?”

“Oh, god,” Tenko groaned, letting his face clatter against the wooden table. White hair split over his pale skin and Spinner pet his shoulder, consoling him like a doting husband.

Jin cackled. “You guys are so cute together!” he bellowed, his hand pointed menacingly in front of him as his head tilted back, unbridled amusement ripping over his features at how comfortable Spinner and Tenko were with one another now. 

The rest of the group instantly turned to them, assessing eyes judging the way Spinner looked like a deer in headlights, his hand frozen awkwardly over Tenko’s shoulder and his face blooming a bright pink. Tenko didn’t look any better as his mouth opened and closed multiple times, his almost invisible eyebrows moving in time with them. He suddenly shot up straight in his seat, making Spinner cry out as his arm was jerked back with the force of it. 

This seemed to set Jin off even further, and he buckled forwards, muscular arms wrapping around his waist and landing like a large slab over his green Hawaiian shirt. He vibrated like a phone over the bench before eventually falling off the edge, disappearing into the sand like a large shell. 

Rumi shared a glance with Keigo, and a wicked smirk slipped over her rich red lips. “How was your day?” she asked slyly, sliding closer to Tenko along the bench. 

His eyes turned into thin crimson slits. “Fuck. Off.”

Toga squealed, jumping out of her seat in order to prance around to the other side, easily avoiding Jin’s laughing corpse on the floor. “Tea! Tea! Spill the tea!”

“We didn’t do anything!” Spinner cried, his face somehow even redder now.

Moe snickered evilly and pressed her chin on her hands, leaning in close over the table, so her cheek was pressing into Touya’s arm. He was also wearing a short-sleeved shirt. He figured that after everyone saw his arms, there was no point in hiding and boiling in the heat. It was dark enough that none of the other guests bothered to look in his direction as well.

He tried to not let anything niggle away at him, worrying at his brain like a scab on his skin. After a stressful day, everyone was smiling. 

“Well?” Moe pressed, leaning in even more. 

Touya noticed that Rumi was also sporting the same sheen in her eyes, dark and knowing and murderous as she leaned against Tenko’s side. Toga was at Spinner’s arm, getting uncomfortably too close and causing him to lean back, but this was only pushing him closer to Tenko. It was like watching a pack of wild vultures stare down their prey, pick them apart with their psyche before swallowing them whole. 

Keigo slipped around the table, sliding into the spot next to Touya and threading his fingers through his. Apparently, they were okay now.

“Well, nothing!” Spinner spluttered. “We just went mountain biking, but then Tenko gave up halfway through, and I had to carry him back down!”

Tenko slammed his face against the table again. 

Jin’s dying cacophony of hyena guffaws sliced through the air again, reminding everyone that he was, in fact, still alive and kicking, even if he was nowhere in sight. 

“Aw,” Rumi cooed, mean and mocking as she rubbed her hands through Tenko’s hair, messing it up to remind him of how everything sounded.

“Shut up! It was a pointless task, and I couldn’t be bothered to lose any HP over it!”

Moe rubbed her hands over her face, still laughing to herself as she mumbled, “God, I forgot how much of a fucking nerd he is.”

“Fuck you!” Tenko shot back, and Rumi dug her elbow into his neck, releasing a chihuahua-belonging shrill scream. 

Jin, who had just stood up on jelly legs, collapsed to the sandy beach floor again at the sound. 

Toga suddenly jumped up and down, her tacky crab pendant necklace bouncing around her neck with her. “We need to do something fun!” she cried. “I’m so bored with the things we’ve been doing so far. We should go to the canoes tonight!” she suggested. 

Jin piped up again, shaggy blonde hair appearing over the edge of the table. 

“No,” Tenko griped immediately. “I’m tired. I want to go to bed.”

Keigo sighed. “I’m also quite tired, and after the day we’ve had, I’m sure everyone just wants to go to sleep.”

Toga pouted. “You’re no fun!”

“We can go together!” Jin exclaimed, but Toga ignored him, sulking as she slumped back down in her spot.

“Maybe tomorrow?” Moe offered, her voice lilting at the end. 

Toga shrugged. “Okay.”

Keigo tugged on Touya’s hand under the table, running his other hand up and down his arm. “You okay?” he whispered in his ear.

Touya smiled slightly and let Keigo curl around his side. “Yeah, birdie,” he let out, turning his head to press a kiss into Keigo’s hair. 

It was sickeningly sweet, but Touya didn’t care anymore. Keigo was talking to him again and it felt like before—before they got married, before they started living together, before everything was as set in stone as it was now. It felt just like before, and Touya was loving it. He wondered if Keigo missed how things used to be just as much as he did.

“I’m starving!” Rumi exclaimed indelicately, her eyes wide as a waiter arrived with piping hot plates.

Jin gasped and dashed to his place. All conversation was forgotten as they shoved food down their throats. 

☼

Mirio was waiting outside of their villas the next morning as each of them prepared to head their separate ways. Their personal itineraries were similar but not exactly the same, and Jin and Toga were heading to the spa for massages. Everyone knew it was going to end in disaster; Jin and Toga couldn’t keep still for the life of them, and there was a high chance Toga was going to creep her masseuse, whoever they were, the fuck out with her unique brand of ‘small talk’.

As much as Touya didn’t like it, there was a reason she didn’t have any other friends aside from them. There was a reason all her previous partners had broken up with her quickly. Her longest relationship was a measly two months, and that was because her boyfriend at that time had to go on a trip halfway through and couldn’t break up with her until later. It was difficult to watch her wade through people and find none of them sticking with her. But she seemed happy, Touya supposed, so maybe it was fine. Maybe things like this didn’t bother her. Maybe she didn’t need anyone else apart from them. 

“Hi, everyone,” Mirio said, smiling too widely at them for so early in the morning. “I hope you’ve had a good night’s sleep?”

Tenko stared at him as if he was praying he had a secret, unlocked power that could knock his head off in one clean sweep. Spinner elbowed him in the gut, and they squabbled until Rumi hissed at them both to shut up, her feet stomping down hard onto both of their baby feet (anyone had baby feet in comparison to her).

“It was great. Thanks for asking!” Moe piped up cheerily. “Hope you slept well too!”

Mirio beamed, and Touya couldn’t help but roll his eyes. He was hearing a conversation which sounded like two radio recordings of the same type playing back at one another. “Thank you!” he exclaimed. “My night was excellent, thank you for asking, but I’m here to relay an important message from Toshinori himself!”

“Wow,” Touya grumbled under his breath, so only Keigo could hear him. “How amazing.”

Keigo slapped his arm playfully. “Don’t be rude.”

Mirio continued, “You should all be at the beach at sunrise tomorrow morning! So make sure you get a nice early rest tonight!”

Toga and Jin both let out the same horrified squawk.

“Sunrise?” Moe cried out, her friendly persona long gone. “What time even is that?”

“Around four am!” Mirio supplied, still smiling as if he enjoyed watching them all crumble to the floor in pain.

“I’m going to punch him,” Touya hissed and lurched forwards, only held back as Keigo gripped around his waist, lifting him cleanly off the floor as if he weighed nothing. It was more than a little embarrassing, really. “Kei!” Touya screamed, slapping his hands and kicking his legs in the air. “Put me down!”

“Only if you promise me no murder today.”

“Fuck you, chicken legs!”

Keigo swung him around. “That’s not a yes, babe.”

“Put me down!”

Touya could hear snorting behind him, but he chose to willfully ignore that in favour of twisting around and trying to grab at Keigo’s hair in revenge. It worked only semi-successfully and, five minutes later, his feet touched the wooden dock again. He swung an arm out, trying to sock Keigo in the face, but his husband was too fast, and he was left with only hearing laughs once again.

“Right,” Mirio commented, amusement shining through his glance their way. He clasped his hands together. “I shall see you all later. Please enjoy your day!”

“Bye, blonde Tintin man!” Toga called out, waving dramatically as Mirio walked away. 

The group split up, each of them going their separate ways.

Touya and Keigo first had their Couples Skill-Building session with Shinsou. He was nervous because he knew it was just going to end in an argument again, and he didn’t want to spend a third day not talking to Keigo. They’d finally made up, but they hadn’t actually talked about anything. It seemed that just ignoring it all and sweeping it under the rug was their speciality, and only large, life-staking events could possibly drag them out from that.

He pulled Keigo back with a hand around his wrist. They were just outside Shinsou’s villa, and Touya could see wild purple hair, barely tamed with what looked to be a sparkly pink elastic headband. “I don’t want to fight,” he admitted, eyes serious as he looked down at Keigo. “Can we not fight? Please?”

Keigo blinked. “I’m not the one starting the fights,” he countered, and Touya sighed, his head tipping back and exposing the column of his neck to the sun. 

In an attempt to avoid fighting, it looked like one had already started. Touya felt like the fight never really ended; it was always going on in the background like an ocean wave, rising and falling with the tide and watching like a beady-eyed, monstrous fish. 

“But fine,” Keigo bit out, his words clipped and terse. “I won’t fight, okay? You can’t fight, either. That means no attacking me.”

“Fine,” Touya retaliated sharply.

Keigo sighed, and turned around, wrenching his hand from his grasp. He stopped suddenly, his hand hovering over Shinsou’s doorknob. His head spun around slowly on his neck, twisting back to find Touya staring back at him over his shoulder. Touya didn’t know what was happening as Keigo’s eyebrows creased and relaxed, tugging together only to drift apart. 

He ran back, moving at such a speed, Touya almost didn’t see him. Strong arms wrapped around his neck as Keigo crashed into him. He would have fallen to the floor if Keigo didn’t pull him back again, righting them upwards in a way Touya didn’t know how he managed to do so quickly. Lips pressed against his, warm and soft and desperate as a hand noodled their way to the base of his head, tugging him even closer. Touya tilted his head to the side, his palms finding their place on Keigo’s hips, but Keigo pulled back, leaving a fraction of an inch between them.

“What was that for?” Touya mumbled, still trying to figure out what brought on the sudden attack, not that he was complaining about it, of course.

Keigo’s lips curved up until the tiniest slither or teeth peeked through cheekily. “No fights, okay?” 

His eyes searched Touya’s, and he nodded in response. “Okay,” he agreed. 

It felt like they’d created a pact, finally working towards a goal together rather than as separate individuals—finally a team. Keigo’s smile split into a full grin, and he leaned up, closing the distance between them once again. The kiss was chaste, but it felt like a formal seal, something binding their promise together as if it were glue. 

When they stepped into Shinsou’s villa, they were holding hands. 

☼

Jin dashed to the coffee table everyone was sitting around like a man on fire. His hair was ruffled, and his eyes were wild, the tiny black pupils sitting like a lost boat in the middle of a huge, expansive sea. “Toga’s gone!” he wailed, running his hands over his face and pulling at every worried line that appeared over his face.

Rumi was the first person to stand up, her legs rooted in the perfect stance to run. “What?”

“She’s gone!” Jin cried, his words coming out as a weak warble the more times he repeated the same phrase as if trying to convince everyone it was really true.

Touya scoffed, leaning back in his seat as he slid his sunglasses (that he stole back from Keigo) back over his eyes. He looked comfortable—serene, almost—as Jin panicked wildly next to him. “She’ll be back. She probably went to get more crab shit or something else equally as weird.”

“No! She’s really gone! I can’t find her anywhere, and I can’t even call her since there’s no cell service here!”

“What do you mean she’s ‘gone’?” Keigo asked, sitting up and nudging Touya to do the same. “She can’t have gone far. There’s nothing she can use to—” His face went impassive as realisation dawned on him. “She took the canoe.”

“What?” It was Tenko’s turn to look confused. He picked up Spinner’s coffee and drank it straight from the cup, putting it down immediately as the taste made him gag.

“Oh,” Moe let out, her hands clasping over her mouth as she leaned forward. “That means she’s gone to the singles’ side of the island then.”

Touya shrugged. “So what? Let her be.”

Jin kicked his shin, drawing a sharp wince from the white-haired man as he glared at him with his hands folded across his chest. Today, Jin was wearing a dark t-shirt with the ugly face of a camel smiling on it, its teeth bared in a hideous smile and all. There were even a few sparkles around it, and Touya just knew that Toga was the one to have bought this for him—she was the only one who found this kind of shit and willingly spent money on it. 

“We need to bring her back!” Jin snapped. 

“Yeah,” Keigo agreed. “Mirio said we all have to be at the beach at sunrise, and if Toga isn’t there…”

Tenko thumped his head back against the sofa. “Is it so bad if we get kicked off the island? It’s one more thing we can add to the bucket list. I miss my games. I miss Wi-Fi.”

“The singles’ side has Wi-Fi,” Jin told him.

Tenko was up in a second, closely followed by Spinner. “As the leader of the League of Villains, I command we go and rescue Toga by travelling to the singles’ side of the island.”

Touya rolled his eyes. “You’re so full of shit.”

“Come on, Touya!” Moe pleaded, poking his legs with her fingers like an annoying bug. 

He swatted at her, but she dodged easily, only cackling when he found himself sitting up and no longer in the same comfortable position as before. 

“Fine,” he grumbled and pushed himself to his feet. Behind him, the sun was beginning to set, despite it only being around five in the afternoon. “Are we going now or…?”

“Yes.” Tenko led the way out of the restaurant, ignoring the curious looks of various members of the waitstaff. Only once he got to the entrance, did he pause, glancing back as he moved his eyes between each of them. “Where’re the canoes?” he asked dumbly.

“For fuck’s sake,” Touya cussed, glad he was still holding onto his drink of whatever poisonous concoction Keigo had ordered. He took a large, loud sip.

“Uh…” Jin trailed off, disappearing in his own mind to try and remember where Magne said the canoes were.

“Spinner,” Tenko started, “climb a tree to see where they are.”

“Why me?” the purple-haired man shot back. His hair was tied back in a low ponytail, and it swished around like a wild tail behind him as he swerved his head to the side, arguing fruitlessly.

“You seem like someone who climbs trees,” Tenko reasoned, shrugging at his piss-poor logic.

“What does that mean?” Spinner cried. “Why don’t you ask them?” he shouted, pointing his hands at Rumi and Moe. “They literally spend half their year scaling mountains and shit!”

Rumi raised a perfect white eyebrow at him as Moe buzzed at her side. “I don’t do Tenko’s grunt work,” she replied, and Spinner paled.

“Just climb the tree!” Tenko shoved Spinner towards one sitting near them. “I want to unlock this special cutscene!”

Keigo snorted into Touya’s shoulder at the comment before casually stealing his sunglasses, even though more and more stars were coming out of hiding, yawning awake in the sky overhead. 

“I remember!” Jin suddenly screamed, shoving his hands into the air, either in a poor imitation of Elvis Presley or a primary school child asking for permission to go to the toilet. 

Jin zipped ahead, darting through the trees and leaving the rest of the group to bumble behind him, jostling with one another to get ahead and not be left alone in the crushing darkness. It felt like an adventure in a weird kind of way—like the days when the group didn’t have many responsibilities or brain cells. They grinned as they ran under the moonlight, brushing leaves and branches away as their feet hit the muddy floor. 

They stopped at the edge of the ocean, each of them out of breath to various degrees. Rumi and Moe seemed to be the most in shape. Meanwhile, Touya was hunched over, hands on his knees, and Keigo’s drink lost somewhere in the muddy paradise behind them. 

“Dude.” Moe came up next to him, tipping her head to the side as Touya slid blue eyes to her. “I think you’re drinking too many beers nowadays. You should consider cutting back for your health.”

He jerked a shaky leg out to kick her. The movement was sluggish, and Moe easily jumped away, her hands held up in surrender as her face laughed openly. “Fuck off. It’s the scars,” Touya defended, miserably swiping at the sunglasses on Keigo’s head. 

Ahead of them, sitting in a neat row, were four orange two-person canoes. The beach bank was slim, barely covering a metre, and the ocean waves licked at the faded yellow sand, opalescent moonlight sending sparkling spears through each gasp of the sea.

For the first time, it felt a bit cold at night, and Keigo wrapped his arm around himself, rubbing them up and down across his skin to try and warm himself up through his thin shirt. 

“We should get going!” Tenko asserted, standing by the nearest canoe to them and already getting in. “We should bring Toga back as soon as possible.”

Rumi and Moe leapt to another canoe, pushing it into the waves before climbing in and setting off. Jin was left alone as Touya and Keigo followed behind them. Soon, four spots of lacklustre orange could be seen floating amongst the dark blue expanse, heading towards the other side of the island lying opposite them. 

A few clouds passed over them and Spinner glanced up, his eyebrows knitting together. “I think it’s going to rain,” he guessed, and he wasn’t the only one to notice how, with each passing cloud, the sky was getting darker and darker, more grey turning a misty black in the night sky until storm clouds sat like a heavy blanket over them. 

A crack of thunder broke over them, tearing through the sky and their eardrums. Rain swallowed them whole, the ocean waves getting more and more rocky with each passing second. Each of them was soaked, their grips on their paddles sliding as rainwater streamed down their faces, running into their eyes and getting tangled in their eyelashes. 

“Moe!” Rumi yelled. “We need to be in sync! You need to paddle on the other side!”

Moe darted her eyes back, but she could barely see anything through her drenched hair. “Okay! I’ll paddle on the right!”

Rumi gave her a thumbs up which Moe could only just make out. They pushed through the waves, the water crashing over the sides of the canoes and soaking their feet through their shoes. 

“Moe!” Rumi yelled again. “We’re not in sync! We need to paddle together!”

“I can’t hear you!” Moe called back, trying to turn her head over her shoulder to see her wife. She whipped the green out of her face, gasping as more water crashed into them, swaying them dangerously to the side. 

“I said we need to be in sync!” Rumi yelled again, but the sounds of the storm swallowed her words like a greedy, desperate monster begging their mother for attention. 

Moe stopped paddling, pulling the oar in close to her as she spun around, trying to hear what Rumi was saying clearer than she could before. The canoe jerked to the side, tipping until both Rumi’s and her screams hit the air, clashing with another thunderclap over them.

“Rumi!” Keigo yelled, stopping rowing as well.

Moe’s green head bobbed out of the water, skinny strands sticking to her skin as she gasped. 

“Moe!” Touya called out to her, extending his own paddle in a futile attempt to provide aid.

“I can’t see Rumi!” Keigo let out, his eyes still trying to see her form through the storm—anything, really. 

The overturned canoe flipped over once more, and bright red nail polish glinted as Rumi pulled herself into it, dumping the two paddles she’d managed to grab in as well. “Moe!” She reached out, extending a paddle as well, except, this time, she was much nearer than Touya was.

Moe swam towards her, the waves pulling her in a hundred different directions as the rain began to slow, the clouds passing in a rolling shimmer over them. The moon cast its watchful gaze back over them, illuminating how soaked everyone was. Moe grabbed the paddle and let herself be pulled through the ocean, closer and closer until she had a hand on the side of the canoe again.

She sniffed, brushing the hair out of her eyes. “I can’t do it,” she confessed.

“What?” Rumi yelped, her voice sounding even louder without the backdrop of the storm to smother it.

Moe pushed away from her. “I can’t do it!” she repeated. “I can’t focus on you and focus on rowing and see how you're rowing while being at the front! I can’t do it all like how you’d want it to be done, even if I could have done it before!”

Rumi frowned, shaking her head as she reached out with the paddle again, trying to haul Moe in again. “You’re not making any sense!” she shouted into the night, trying to wave the paddle out even further in an attempt to reach Moe as the waves carried her further away, closer to the other canoes than her own.

Moe let out a sound, broken and lost to the sea, and Rumi paused, jaw slightly slack as she realised her wife was crying. Moe hardly ever cried, no matter if there was a really sad part playing in a movie or if she saw something really cute. Moe was strong and loud, and she’d been perfect all throughout Rumi’s life—even the bits that Rumi got mad and irritated at. Even the bits that made Rumi scream and vent to Keigo time and time again about. She loved Moe, and she didn’t understand what was happening now. A breakdown in the middle of the ocean was, perhaps, the worst place to have one. At least, right now. 

Rumi couldn’t get to her, no matter how fast she paddled.

Moe started to swim away, putting long years of swimming club training to use as she ducked under the water, her arms making brief, regular reappearances as she kicked her way to the other side of the island, glad the flash storm had passed, and the ocean was still again.

Rumi tried to paddle alongside her, but Moe would only swim further away, an attempt to be as far away as possible right now. Sosaki had said for them to stop being so reliant on one another, for them to embrace their natural independent personalities. It hurt, but Rumi rowed away, paddling to the other side and joining the rest of the group in waiting for Moe to reach land safely.

The waters were calm, now, but they were freezing. Moe’s teeth chattered as she walked up to them on the beach. Rumi sprinted to her immediately, taking off her shirt to give Moe something dry to wear.

Moe pushed her away. “I don’t—I can’t talk right now.”

“At least take the shirt!” Rumi cried, but Moe dodged her, running into the forest and melting into the green of the trees. Rumi sprinted after her, a flash of white in the night, gone in the blink of an eye.

“Hey!” Keigo followed after them, slipping through his husband’s fingers as he dashed in their direction, his silhouette instantly swallowed by the dark.

Touya gaped, frozen in his spot as he stared in the direction the trio had run away in. “I can’t believe it,” he muttered, scoffing slightly at the end of his words. “He left instantly.”

Spinner smiled uncomfortably. “Should we wait for them? What if they get lost?”

“What about Toga?” Jin wondered, panic hedging his words.

Tenko patted Touya’s shoulder. “They’ll be fine; they’re some of the baddest bitches we know. We’ll find Keigo later. First, let’s get Toga so that we can go back to our villas. Then we can deal with the side quest.” He sighed, his nose wrinkling as his hair dried stickily over his face. “I hate the rain.”

iv. falling forward, back into orbit

“Rumi! Wait!” Keigo chased after his best friend, trying not to trip as he skidded over the mud. He knew his shirt was ruined now—if not from the rain, then from this slight excursion.

White hair whipped in front of him, slicing left and right like a rabbit bounding through the woods. Keigo huffed as he sprinted after her, the sandals he’d pulled on sliding off his feet; they were clearly not meant for this purpose, and he should’ve known something bold and dramatic would have happened on this trip, but, for once, he decided to be optimistic. He packed light, imagining he’d spend most of his days lounging with Touya, stolen sunglasses decorating his hair like a thief’s crown. He thought they’d swim around languidly in a pool somewhere, or maybe a pretty lake. They could take midnight walks and share kisses with no one else around, just like when they were younger. 

Keigo didn’t think he was old, but he was starting to certainly feel old. He was just barely into his thirties, but he felt middle-aged. He felt like he and Touya had been married for a couple of decades instead of only a few years, and now, they were tired of one another. They still liked each other, but maybe that was only because they were comfortable—their relationship was something easy to fall back into. They could slide into bed next to one another and not have to think about anything aside from forgetting the day. Touya could turn on his bedside lamp, and Keigo was used to it; the soft light never bothered him. The gentle turn of pages in the quiet of the night was soothing, and he could never tire of the way Touya’s eyebrow curled together in concentration as he read, his slender glasses reflecting the light gently from the lamp. In those moments, Keigo could almost fall right asleep, dozing off without even thinking about it. 

But he hadn’t seen Touya reading at night in months. He hadn’t seen Touya step out of the bathroom, a towel around his waist and a yawn on his lips as his hair poofed around his face, freshly washed and looking softer than a plush duvet. He missed the way Touya used to chastise him for his inability to chop onions before pushing him aside, slicing through vegetables faster than Keigo could ever dream to. He missed the way Touya completely took over the kitchen, leaving Keigo to stand by the side, a half-empty glass of wine at his lips, as he watched his husband be a master in his own element. 

Ever since Touya snapped at him, his words had been ringing in Keigo’s mind, poking and prodding at every vein and brain cell as Keigo saw more and more truth in them. When they first met, they were barely friends. Touya called him a ‘compulsive liar’, and it was true. Keigo did lie a lot, but it was never for malicious purposes. It was just little white lies here and there, darker, greyer ones to dispel his past sprinkled in between. His lies never hurt anyone and he never really saw a problem with it, but now he could see. It was like, in the shadows of the night, a mask had been shattered. Keigo could see clearly as if the moon was shining down directly onto him, lighting up his eyes, so they glowed and illuminated every crevice in his mind. 

All this time, he’d been lying to himself more than anyone. It hurt a little to think about, and Keigo floundered in his steps, almost face-planting the forest floor in the process. He caught the trunk of a tree at the last second, hauling himself up before he kissed the mud. 

Rumi was nowhere in sight, and Keigo could barely see in the dark. Alone and lost, Keigo couldn’t help but feel like he’d made a massive mistake. His chest ached as he glanced around, trying to figure out a path back, but he’d made too many turns, too many last-second jerks to the side in a desperate attempt to spot Rumi. 

He wondered if Touya and everyone else were still waiting for him, or if they had gone ahead—the logical decision, really—to find Toga. He couldn’t help but let his mind wander to what expression Touya had when he left. He realised that he hadn’t even bothered to look before he turned around and ran after Rumi and Moe. He hadn’t even said goodbye; he’d just dashed off, concern buzzing like a beehive in his mind. 

He had a feeling Touya’s face was impassive, cold and carefully crafted to not leave any open seams, but disappointment was still rolling off him in waves, leaking out of every pore and permeating the air. Touya wouldn’t be surprised, but things had just gotten better. And Keigo had to ruin it. 

He slapped his hands over his face, not caring if he had mud all over him, and dragged it down, tugging at his skin and eyebrows, pulling at every worry line and frown as he thought about how fucking stupid he was. 

Shinsou, as it turned out, was right. He deprioritised Touya, even if it was the last thing he wanted to do. He’d run to help someone else without even thinking about anything. He didn’t even look at Touya as he left. Keigo felt sick, and all he wanted to do was sit down. He ran his hands through his hair instead, dishevelling it and tugging out weak blonde strands. 

Slowly, his feet found their ground, getting stronger as they pushed ahead, pulling him through the forest as if on autopilot. He was rushing through the trees, blindly forcing his way through as he fell into the pace of his own heartbeat. He didn’t know where he was going, but he had to get out of here. He needed to find Rumi and Moe and return back to the group, back to Touya.

The trees got lighter, the light green peeking through like neon bugs as light lit them up. The shrubbery gave away to a small clearing, a path opening up to a pretty landscape. It was secluded with a small ring of sturdy benches sitting together on the ground, a lazy river rolling behind it, leading back with blue sparkles to a cascading waterfall, big and bountiful and looking like it belonged in one of the fairy films Hina watched.

Keigo’s mouth fell open as his head tipped up. The moon swayed with the stars high overhead, layering the area with a ghoulish glow. Keigo’s heart instantly calmed, easy like honey pouring down his back, slow and sluggish, yet still crystal clear. Touya wanted to come here, and Keigo felt the familiar pangs of guilt lacing around his throat, pricking at his eyes—the same guilt he brushed off every day, shoved to the side to unpack later. He was here first, without Touya. He had always been a little too fast for his own good.

He took a step forward, itching to wander into the place further, but a sob wracked through the air and Keigo’s eyes snapped to the bench, to the two individuals curled together, one white-haired and the other sporting a wild green messily tied ponytail. Keigo paused, shifting back as silently as possible to remain unseen. He didn’t want to intrude, but if he strained his head to the side, he could just catch the words whispered between them. 

Eavesdropping wasn’t something he planned to do, but at the slightest mention of ‘Touya’, he snapped his lips shut, focusing entirely on their conversation.

“—sorry. It’s—” Rumi took in a deep breath. “Moe, I love you. I want to start a family and look after a kid, but—” Her eyes darted to the side before flashing to Moe’s again, staring at her directly and finally stating what exactly was on her mind. “I don’t want us to turn into Touya and Keigo.”

Keigo froze, a secret agent sweeping over his body like cold fluid, dowsing him in paralytic poison that incapacitated his every movement. He felt his skin buzz under him, humming as if he was under attack. It was stupid for such a simple sentence to have this big of an effect on him, but Keigo didn’t expect it. He’d disclosed a few things to Rumi during the snorkelling and fish-observing activity, but he was careful. He didn’t say too much. He didn’t mutter every thought and fear swimming through his mind—he didn’t think he could.  

Rumi still ended up saying something like that, though, as if, somehow, she and Moe were better off than him and Touya. As if they were on the tipping point of their relationship, but he and Touya had already fallen over the edge, crashing to the rocks at the ocean below them with no wings to hold them up. She said it like it was too late, like every attempt Keigo had made, every chance he’d gone back and desperately held together, were futile. They were for nothing, and Keigo was exhausting himself with more than he needed to. Every action of his only seemed to be something that would tire him out, and nothing else. 

She said it like his and Touya’s relationship was already broken beyond repair. 

Deep down, Keigo wondered if it really was. He kept trying, and for what? It was clear Touya had already given up on him—if not now, when Keigo left him on the shores of the island without a second glance back, without even a word telling him to not wait up, then Touya had given up on him way before. Touya was tired of Keigo. He was tired of everything he did and didn’t do.

Keigo wondered why he kept trying to make things better, but the truth was, this was just another fact he closed his eyes to, all to make himself feel better. If he kept trying, if he clutched onto that flickering flame of hope dying between them, Keigo could say he was the good guy for at least making an effort, for not giving up on them way too soon.

It was too late now. Keigo slouched down against the tree, pressing his back against the harsh bark and forcing creases into his clothes. It felt bad to know he and Touya were an example of what Rumi didn’t want to become.

“We’re not going to turn into them!” Moe’s loud voice suddenly shot, rising like a tidal wave and crashing through the trees. 

Keigo glanced around, and he spotted the couple standing up, arms waving as they argued heatedly. 

“Rumi,” Moe began again, “are you kidding? I thought you weren’t afraid of anything, or at least more sensible than this! We’re not Touya and Keigo. We actually talk to one another, and—and you have me! How can you think we could ever turn into them?”

“I don’t wanna mess up!” Rumi yelled back, and her voice was strained, each word pulling on her vocal cords as her hair swished around her, cutting through the pretty scenery like a moonlight knife. “Moe, you haven’t seen it as I have! Keigo was talking to me and—god, it’s so bad. You saw them earlier, right? I don’t want to go days not talking to you.”

Moe pulled her into a hug, tight and vice-like but so full of the warmth and energy she radiated through every movement. Keigo didn’t know how she kept up such high levels of energy, or how Rumi could deal with it, for that matter. “We’re nothing like them,” she declared confidently. “We’ll never be like them. You’re nothing like Keigo, and I’m nothing like Touya, okay? Would you ever leave me all day to do things myself and stay super late to work at the office? Would I ever be able to go a single day without telling you everything I’d done, every stupid thought that popped into my head? No, I could never not talk to you, so stop with this stupid—” She bonked Rumi’s head, the slightly feral, determined grin overtaking her face again. “—fucking—” Another bonk. “—fear.” And another bonk. “You’re my fearless as fuck wife, and we’re hella fucking strong together, okay? Next time you’re worried about something, just tell me. We’ll work it out together.”

Rumi tipped her head back, a watery laugh leaving her lips. “I’ve been so stupid.”

“You have!” Moe agreed but grinned down at her wife. 

Rumi crashed her arms around her and, even though she was much shorter, she picked Moe up, twirling her around as if she was still twenty-five.

“We should find everyone else,” Moe finally suggested, and they scurried around, spotting a path that led away from the waterfall and running down it, hands enclasped. 

Keigo ran his fingers down his face, groaning as he turned into the tree. He needed to find Touya immediately.

☼

“I think we’re lost,” Spinner mumbled, his eyebrow arching as they glanced around them, pushing their way past massive overgrown tropical plant leaves that looked like they had been taken straight out of Temple Run. 

“Shut up,” Tenko snapped back, huffing and blowing a crusty, salt-dried chunk of hair out of his face. “Climb a tree then.”

“We can’t be lost!” Jin exclaimed. “Toga’s got to be around here somewhere!” He darted around, moving fast enough to make Touya dizzy.

They had been walking for a while, and they still had no idea where the actual Eden East site was. Toga was probably having the time of her life, and they were about to ruin it. Touya didn’t mind. Ruining things seemed to be on the agenda recently. 

“Why are you so sour-faced?” Tenko asked rudely, glaring coldly, despite the warm colour of his eyes. “You look like even more of a dick than usual.”

Spinner and Jin both stopped moving, tilting their heads to the side in unison. “Oh, yeah,” Spinner let out. “Who spat in your cereal?”

“You look so handsome!” Jin cried at the same time. “You look like Thanos!”

Touya blanched. His son kept making Thanos jokes, and he’d heard the name a million times by now for him to be able to pretend he had no idea what they were talking about. Besides, he wasn’t uncultured. He just never expected to hear it in regards to him. “I do not look like Thanos.”

Tenko squinted as if he was really trying to figure it out—as if whether or not Touya looked like Thanos was something that even needed further discussion. 

Touya batted Tenko’s stinky face away. “Fuck off, you unshowered mole-rat. If anyone here looks like Thanos, it’s you.”

“I’ll just pretend you said Thanatos,” Tenko quipped back, wrinkling his nose. “And I do shower, god! I’m going to kill Toga for starting this when we find her again.” Silence permeated around him, and he stopped in his tracks, one hand pushing a large leaf away ahead of him. “What?” His face pinched as Jin looked him over. Spinner’s eyes darted anywhere but him and Touya had an unimpressed eyebrow raised, standing annoyingly taller than him and staring him down. 

He gaped, turning around on them and letting the leaf smack Touya in the face. “I do shower!” he insisted, his voice dropping to borderline a snarl.

Jin blinked. “Do you?” He yelped once he saw Tenko’s face, diving into a bush as a rock was thrown at him. 

“Fuck off!” Tenko screamed, sounding closer and closer to a whiny toddler than a grown-ass thirty-year-old man. “I took a shower this morning! Sure, Spinner, I took a shower this morning?”

Touya snorted from the floor, mud and leaves staining his hair as he pushed himself to his feet. Spinner paused as Tenko stared at him expectantly.

“Uh,” he let out, his eyes suddenly finding a twig on the floor very interesting.

Tenko’s practically invisible eyebrows clashed together as he squinted, looking more like a meme than anything else. “Well?”

“I—I don’t remember?” Spinner tried, shrugging slightly. His eyes widened, and he clamped his hands over his ears as Tenko leaned back, a shrill scream tearing from his lungs. Touya almost thought he could compete with Keigo over who was the bigger bird kinnie.

“You’re lying!” Tenko tried desperately. “Come on. You had to see me! I went right into the bathroom after you!”

“Give up!” Touya shouted through a laugh, leaning against a nearby tree as he clutched onto his side. “We all know the fucking truth.”

Tenko zipped over to Touya, a deadly stick raised like a sword from Zelda or something, Touya didn’t know—he wasn’t into this shit. “I will kill you!”

Touya’s eyes split widely, and he spun around, racing blindly over trees and logs as Tenko screamed behind him, the stick raised high above his head. Spinner yelled after them, shouting for Jin to get out of the bush he’d apparently made his home in. 

“Get back here!” Tenko gritted out. 

Touya ducked behind a tree, using his intense experience of playing Hide-and-seek with Riku and Hina to his advantage. A cool smirk simmered over his lips as Tenko ran past. He stuck his leg out, his smirk stretching wide to bare teeth as Tenko flew through the air, crashing face-first into the dirt and eating mud. Dust sizzled around them, blanketing the scene as Spinner and Jin arrived just after them. It took a second, but both of them fell into hyena cackles as soon as they realised what happened. Tenko shot to his feet, swiping wildly as he tried to stab Touya, but it was no use. He was nowhere near as good with knives as Spinner and Toga were, so watching him try to wield a measly stick was just pitiful. 

“I think we’ve found someone’s house!” Jin suddenly exclaimed, running as he pointed to a few yellow lights leaking through windows ahead of them. “Maybe Toga is there!”

“Wait up!” Spinner called, dashing after him. 

Tenko narrowed his eyes at Touya, who just glanced back warily. “This isn’t over,” he declared, his breaths coming slightly short.

Touya tilted his head up, his lips cracking through the foggy dust. “I think it is.”

“I’m telling Keigo!” Tenko screamed as he began to walk away, following in the direction Spinner and Jin took off in. 

His only response was a single middle finger facing behind him. 

Ahead of him, the dust cleared to reveal a homely cottage, wooden beams crisscrossing over the roof and holding the place upright. It was pretty and looked like something out of Hina’s bedtime stories—a place for a girl to rest for the night, only to meet bears in the morning or an enchanting lair hiding an evil witch, arms full of sweets and candy.

By the window, two idiots, one with light purple hair drooping over his skin and the other with short blonde strands on his head, looking rough and uncombed, leaned against the window, pressing their faces in close and cupping their eyes with their hands to peer inside. They looked like complete and utter creeps. 

Touya wandered behind them, not trying to hide his presence at all, but after years of being in the house he grew up in, his footsteps were naturally silent. A twig snapped under his shoes, splitting the air with its blood-curdling scream. Spinner and Jin jumped a metre into the night, their own cries joining to create a horrendous choir of discordant harpies. Touya winced, jumping back harshly.

“Dude, what the hell!?” Spinner shouted.

Jin stood, bent over with a hand over his heart. “Touya, you scared me, man.”

Touya didn’t say sorry. He nodded to the window instead. “Who’s in there?”

Spinner shrugged as Jin stood rose to his full height. “Dunno. No one.”

Jin bent down, picking up a grey rock, and rolled it around in his palm. He swung his arm back and flicked the rock forward. Glass shattered in seconds, glittering in the sky as the stars spied a glance in them, checking out their own reflections like vain siblings.

Tenko sighed, suddenly appearing behind everyone and giving Spinner a fright once more. “I’m not here for two seconds, and you smash a fucking window.”

“You would smash the window too,” Touya pointed out because he was an ass, slapping a shadow of a smile onto the ends of his sentence for extra effect.

“Fuck you,” Tenko said to him, wielding the stick menacingly. 

Touya had no idea why he still had it, but Tenko was Tenko, and he got attached to things easily, even if he wouldn’t admit it; there was a reason he was still obsessed with video games even now. 

“And fuck you.” He pointed the stick to Spinner, who sputtered, his mouth moving open and closed with only weird strangled sounds escaping him, more air than actual syllables. Tenko turned to Jin, but the older man was already climbing through the broken window, tracking dirt and mud inside the sweet cottage.

He sighed.

Touya shrugged, long having given up on reason with the particular crowd he called his friends. He climbed in afterwards, ignoring the way glass caught on his clothes, scratching at the shirt Keigo had bought him years ago and he’d only ever worn once. Glass scraped his palms and cheek, but he brushed it off, smearing the blood away as if he was used to something worse. 

“I hate this fucking family,” Tenko muttered, following last because, unlike everyone else here, he was only an adrenaline junkie when it came to virtual plains. Other than that, he didn’t like to actually make much effort. He’d leave the jumping off of planes and scaling buildings to the resident dumbass lesbians, thanks.

The inside of the cottage was cool, A.C. blowing in from somewhere and mixing in with the heat, turning the air pleasant and bringing to everyone’s attention just how much they had sweated—although, everything about them was still damp from the rain, so it didn’t seem to matter that much.

Jin hurried away, slipping through the door to the rest of the house. 

“Fuck!” Spinner let out, following close behind him. 

They formed a weird chain of muddy, bloody, rain-soaked individuals who looked like they’d been to a training camp rather than a sweet couples retreat.

The cottage opened into a tiny corridor, barely any space for one person to shuffle along, before—

“Holy shit,” Touya muttered. “Is that a door from those cowboy movies you watch?”

Spinner’s eyes popped open wide like a goldfish. “It is.”

And there really were a set of saloon doors sitting in front of them, waiting to be pressed open as if they were in a Western movie, cowboy hats low on their heads and glinting guns slung around their hips. Jin pushed it open without much thinking. 

The space opened into a large room, cluttered with sofas, blankets, tables and every other thing that screamed of a frat house. In the middle was even a pool table, opened drinks littering the edges of it as if the night had already long begun and Touya and the rest of the gang were late to the party.

Mirio sat in the middle of the room, bunched on a sofa with a blue-haired girl and a dark-haired boy sitting either side of him. In his hands, Touya saw a familiar console. In fact, it was a very familiar console—the same one that worked best with Tenko’s first game. 

A bunch of eyes whipped to them at once, silence dropping over the room as every conversation died. To Touya’s side, he could see the same purple eyes he’d seen only hours prior. Shinsou’s face was emotionless as he stared at him but next to him lay a gasping blonde with a streak of lightning through his hair, the most overreactive of the entire bunch.

He clambered to his feet, tripping over his shoes, and Touya noticed that the laces were tied together. He fell face-first over Shinsou’s legs, long and thin as they stretched out ahead of him, and Shinsou snapped forward, his stoic expression breaking to reveal concern. 

Ah. Touya understood who the blonde guy was.

“Holy shit!” Blonde Guy said, his eyes wide as he gaped at Tenko. “It’s him! I knew he would ravage us for the Wi-Fi code! I tried to tell him that there wasn’t one, but he’s here! Oh, my god, he looks murderous.” Blonde Guy, on the other hand, looked on the verge of tears.

Touya could understand. He also wanted to cry whenever he saw Tenko’s face.

Mirio stood up, the dark console still in his hands. The game continued ahead of him on the projector, and the blue-haired girl paused it.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” Mirio asked, frowning hard and all acts of Mr Nice Guy finally gone. “This is the staff shack—”

Jin snorted.

“—and you cannot be here. You can’t even be on this side of the island. I’m calling Toshinori.”

Tenko stepped forward, his midget ass finally making an appearance. He faced Mirio head-on, glaring as Mirio brought a chunky phone to his ear. “I see you’re playing a game. I quite like games too.”

Mirio squinted and began to talk into the speaker. “Yes, hi, can you please put—”

“I’ll make you a deal,” Tenko stated, his voice dry. 

He waved a wad of cash in the air, neatly bundled together with a red rubber band around it. A single red feather charm hung off the band, and Touya gritted his teeth, recognising his daughter’s bird obsession anywhere. That cash was his, and he didn’t even want to think about how Tenko got it. 

The girl with blue hair gasped and shoved Mirio over, sending him sprawling to the ground as she fell over the back of the sofa, clutching the phone to her ear. “Yes, sorry, this was a mistake! There’s no emergency. Everything’s fine! Bye!” 

The line cut, dead, and Mirio stared at her from the floor, betrayal swirling in his tiny cartoon circle eyes. “What was that for?”

The girl with blue hair turned to them, ignoring Mirio’s entire mini-meltdown. She beamed and stuck a hand out, still lying halfway over the back of the sofa. “Hi! I’m Nejire! Please don’t listen to Mirio and welcome! What was the deal again?”

The other boy—the one with darker hair sitting next to her—sighed and buried his face in his hands. Touya could see the tips of his ears burning a hot pink. He couldn’t tell if he was extremely angry, embarrassed of his friends, or having his own mini-meltdown that they’d all just walked in on. If Touya had to be around Mirio for more than a few seconds, he would also be having a meltdown.

“Nejire! What are you doing?”

Nejire waved Mirio’s face away, still smiling sweetly at Tenko.

Tenko cleared his throat. “Right. So, here’s the offer: I would like to play against you in that game you were playing. If you win, I’ll give you this.” He waved the cash bundle in the air again, and Touya wanted to kick him in the back of his knees, watch him crumple like a stack of pathetic playing cards.

“And if we lose?” Mirio wondered, his eyebrow raising.

Tenko smiled. It was toothy and too wide, his dry lips cracking slightly as his eyes pulled death from their bodies. “If we win, you tell us what we want to know, and you forget you ever saw us tonight.”

“You’re going to lose! Mirio’s the best on the whole island!” Blonde Guy from the other sofa suddenly exclaimed, jumping up in his seat, only to have Shinsou sigh tiredly and pull him back down. 

Touya didn’t say anything as their legs tangled together, Shinsou’s head resting on top of the other.

Tenko slid him a look, red ripping through the room like a murderous crack, decaying everything that came into contact with it. “It’s a pretty small island.”

Nejire let out a low whistle, giggling as Mirio’s frown wedged itself in his usually smiley face a little harder. He pushed himself to his feet, stomping across the room to grab his controller. He tossed another one—sparkly pink with rainbow stickers and unicorns decorating it—to Tenko.

“Okay, may the best player win then.”

Tenko sat down on an empty sofa, finally relaxing at the touch of a controller in his hands. The game started in front of him. Touya leaned against the wall, moving closer to Shinsou, and sent a knowing smirk down to him.

“Shut up,” Shinsou muttered back. “I can’t get him to go away.”

Blonde Guy gasped, pouting as he looked up at Shinsou. “You’re the one who wanted to hang out with me tonight!”

Shinsou’s face went a little red, and he decided to not reply. A smart choice, really. 

“Yeah!” Spinner suddenly yelled, punching a fist into the air. “Go get ‘em, Tenko!”

Tenko’s fingers turned into little flashes over the controller, whipping around as the sounds of buttons clacking filled the room. Mirio’s frown creased harder, his teeth gritting as he tried to keep up.

“You’ve played this before,” he muttered, betrayed and worried.

Tenko shrugged. “Maybe. It’s a pretty popular game.”

And it was a pretty popular game. This was Tenko’s debut, his best and favourite thing that he’d spent years shaping, moulding to the shape it was now. Even just a week ago, he was working on a new update for it. Touya could only let his lips quirk upwards as he watched his friend crush another at something he’d loved so much, at something that came almost as easy as breathing.

Mirio sighed, flushed as if he’d just run a mile. His eyes roamed over the screen, reading the same sentence again and again on his side of the screen. “I lost,” he finally whispered.

The room filled with Jin and Spinner’s cheers, too loud and raucous for something as tiny as this, but this felt like a huge win. Touya was sure he wasn’t the only one who found Mirio incredibly annoying and this only proved it. Watching Tenko crush his smug, happy-go-lucky face in was nothing short of satisfying. 

The rest of the room was silent, all watching the screen as if they couldn’t quite believe it.

“But Mirio’s the best,” Blonde Guy whispered.

Mirio turned on them, standing up once more. “Who are you?”

Tenko let the controller clatter onto the table. “Shimura Tenko,” he replied. “I made this game.”

“Damn,” Nejire let out, slumping back against the sofa and stuffing a handful of popcorn in her face. “Mirio you got owned!”

Mirio sighed and moved to sit back down, but Tenko grabbed his arm, holding him back. “No, a deal’s a deal. You lost, so you need to answer our questions.”

Nejire kicked Mirio’s butt, pushing him back to standing. He sent her a glare, but her only response was a giggle, clearly finding way too much amusement in the evening. Eyeing the beer bottles by the pool table, Touya started to wonder if she was a lightweight, or if she was the only one who was drinking tonight. No one else looked even the slightest bit tipsy.

His eyes glanced back to the red-eared dark-haired boy by her side. He could have been the exception. Maybe he wasn’t embarrassed. Maybe he was even further gone than she was.

“Fine. What do you want to know?” Mirio sighed, clasping his arms across his chest and only tightening how his shirt fitted over his muscles. 

Once again, Touya was reminded of how much of a stick he’d become. He used to be fairly muscular, toned in a way that was only really built on the rage for his father, but once he’d moved on in life, he’d gotten busy. Life had swept him away, and all the stupid things he did faded. He no longer went on those trips with Rumi and Moe, he no longer helped Toga pull the worst and most embarrassing pranks on Tenko, and he no longer hung out with Keigo as much. Over time, he’d returned to how he really looked like as a teenager: lean, tall and scarred, but nothing really else.

“First of all,” Tenko started, holding a hand out to tick off his list of demands. “What’s the Wi-Fi password?”

Touya shouldn’t have been surprised. He groaned, “You fucker—”

“We need to find Toga!” Jin reminded him, his voice cutting through everything rudely; he didn’t care. He was right. Tenko’s priorities were way off base, but the group had never been known for their giving nature.

Tenko waved him off. “Yeah, I’m getting to that but, first, what’s the Wi-Fi code?”

“I’m not permitted to give you the Wi-Fi password,” Mirio began to explain, but Blonde Guy was already in front of Tenko, holding a small card in his hand and reciting the code on the back of it. 

Tenko, civil to a kid (Blonde Guy counted as a child, yes) for, perhaps, the first time, stood calmly by his side, his fingers already punching digits into his phone.

Mirio’s head drooped.

“Okay,” Tenko said once he got Wi-Fi access and all his goals and dreams for the time being had been achieved. “Where can we find the main party or whatever.”

Mirio cleared his throat. “This is kinda long, so you might want to take this down.”

Jin pulled a pen out of nowhere, and it kind of made sense. All forty-year-olds carried pens on them for some reason. What made less sense was Jin actually acting like a normal member of society—functional and conventional. He never did what usual forty-year-olds did. 

“You should continue on this path for about ten minutes or so. After that, there will be a fork. You should take the right path, not the left, and continue for another ten minutes. From there, there will be another fork. You should take the left path this time, not the right, and continue for five minutes—”

“Dude,” Spinner hissed over to Touya. “I’m already lost.”

Touya shrugged. “I wasn’t even listening to begin with.”

When he looked back, Mirio and Tenko had returned to their weird staring contest. Only, it was a little hilarious considering how much Tenko had to crane his neck up to even see Mirio, who was, for some reason, a fucking giant. 

“You never saw us,” Tenko muttered and turned around, leading the group back the way they came.

“Wait,” Mirio said, stopping them. “The door’s that way.” He pointed behind him and, yes, there was indeed a door behind him. “Actually, how did you all even get in?”

Jin blanched. “Uh, I may have broken your window.”

The boy with bright ears finally turned around, narrow eyes blown open wide as he gaped at them. “What?”

“Shit,” Tenko cursed under his breath and shoved everyone through the saloon doors. 

They ran for their lives as Mirio chased after them, leaping through the broken window and wrecking their clothes with more tears once again.

“I can’t believe this,” Mirio whispered, his eyes taking in the ruined room which was his bedroom. Glass lay over everything, sparkling diamonds lighting up the floor over the intense amounts of mud, leaves and grass. In the middle of the room, almost comically placed next to one another, was a single rock and stick. Mirio’s shoulders fell. “They’re the worst group this island’s ever seen.”

☼

“I think it’s this way,” Tenko directed, the pale ghostly glow of his phone lighting up his face and casting dark shadows over his eye bags. He was pointing to the right at a fork in the path.

Spinner’s face twisted. “Didn’t Mirio say to go left?”

“No, he said to go right,” Jin butt in, but then scrunched up his face in thought, a hand tucked under his chin as his mind worked way harder than it should have been doing at that time of night. “Or maybe he said left. No, wait, he said right.”

“We’re not relying on the most indecisive man on this planet for directions,” Touya told them, cutting into the conversation, even though no one asked him to.

“Shut up, emo boy,” Tenko snapped back, and Touya threw his hands up in the air. 

Why did he even bother to try anymore? He should have just stayed in his villa with Keigo. His husband wouldn’t have run off, then, and they could have visited the waterfall before everything went to shit and they were kicked off of the island in the morning.

Tenko went back to poring over the notes he’d made in his phone, but there was a reason Touya was the manager and he was the game developer. Tenko was shit at making notes of anything that wasn’t his mess of a mind, and Touya was the one who organised everything in their little company. 

“I think he said left,” Tenko decided, but then turned right.

“Uh…” Spinner didn’t seem to know which way to go. 

Out of fear of being left behind, he followed everyone the wrong way. It was fine. They’d been in worse situations than trying to find a missing person on an island while getting lost on said island themselves. 

They walked for a lot longer than ten minutes, and Touya knew everyone in the group knew. Still, out of courtesy (which didn’t make sense, considering how none of them had any courtesy), none of them uttered a word, cradling Tenko’s fragile ego between them all.

A pink strobe shot into the air, followed by a blue line, and then a yellow one. Touya could hear music thumping in the background, too loud and pushing him back ten years to a night he’d decided to let Keigo pick what they were going to do and sorely regretted it. Spinner gasped by his side as Tenko swore. Jin was uncharacteristically quiet, watching the telling signs of a beach party in the distance. All of them, instantly, knew Toga would be there. 

“Told you I knew where I was going,” Tenko retorted, even when no one asked him to. 

Touya huffed, brushing past him to pull everyone from their sudden reverie. Times like this, when things suddenly became too real, and the hidden undercurrent of consciousness floated to the light, were times Touya couldn’t handle. He’d rather turn away and not deal with it. Everyone had their own shit going on, and he’d rather not get in the way. 

“Yeah!” Spinner suddenly yelled, doing some strange ninja pose that he hadn’t been able to drop through the years, even if his katana collection lay in an attic, building dust, or the old bandana he used to wear everywhere died at the bottom of a garbage dump. 

Spinner clapped Jin’s shoulder, jostling a glint of life back into his eyes, and they were running down the path, racing closer and closer to the cheers and calls of a DJ. 

Harsh yellow light broke through the trees, illuminating the end of the path ahead of them like a police car. Touya felt a small hand wrap around his arm, tugging him back as Spinner and Jin disappeared in a frenzy of dancing bodies, looking more out of place than an iguana in a hot spring. 

Touya’s eyebrows twitched. “What?” he asked, his voice sounding flatter than he meant it, but maybe that was a good thing. 

Tenko’s face was blank, red eyes moving slowly as they searched his. It was strange. Tenko hadn’t looked at him like this in years; the last time he’d done this, Touya was going to get married and questioning every decision he’d ever made in his life. Tenko had been helpful, even if Touya didn’t want to admit it.

“Something happened,” Tenko stated, declaring an obtuse observation as if he had been watching this whole time, casually assessing how everyone was doing. 

Touya, for the first time in a while, felt cold. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Cut the crap. I know something happened. And I’m talking about before the beach, before even coming here.”

Touya wrenched his arm from Tenko’s grasp, shrugging him off roughly in a way that only sent sprigs of pain through his scarred skin. He pretended he didn’t feel anything. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he gritted out again, staring back at Tenko in a challenge.

The other was not impressed, folding his arms as if he were a father scolding a child. It didn’t feel like the way his father looked at him. Instead, it felt like something Tenko had picked up from Kurogiri, a familiar expression and move they were all far too used to by now. 

“I know something happened between you and Keigo.” He scratched at his skin, subtly and quietly, just to give his hands something to do. It was as if this conversation was just as hard for him as it was for Touya. “You’re different from how you used to be.”

Touya rolled his eyes. “It’s been years. We’re not going to be the same as we were before.”

“You’re hiding something.” Tenko’s voice cut through his own. Suddenly, the party seemed so far away, a buzzing hum fading into the background, even though it was only metres away. “You know, everyone else talks a lot more than you do. Before, it was fine because you eventually told us everything, and I don’t mind you having secrets. That’s just how you are.”

It was a simple statement, but Touya still frowned hard. He shouldn't have—it was true, after all—but it felt more like a jab than anything else. Something said with the sole intention of hurting him, and not in the casual way they had always done before; a stupid insult here, another jibe there. No, this was something that Tenko had been keeping bottled up for a long time, and he probably wasn’t the only one.

“We’ve known you for far longer than Keigo has,” he began again. “But we didn’t know about your scars at all. Sure, we’d seen some of them but…” His voice trailed off, and Touya thought back to the beach, back to when Keigo took his shirt off and he’d stopped hiding what his arms looked like. “Don’t you trust us?”

The question hung in the air like a spider from a web, silent and deadly. Waiting, waiting, waiting.

“Fine,” Tenko bit eventually, tired of watching time tick by. He never was a patient person. Touya didn’t think he ever would be one. “I’ve been waiting all these years for you to finally open up to us, for you to tell us what really happened between you and your dad, just like how Toga told us about what happened to her. Just like how I told you what happened to me.”

Tenko stopped again. The silence continued, on and on, passing by like the calm roll of the ocean. Touya looked back, and he told himself that he didn’t feel anything. He’d always been secretive, even with his sister and brothers. Even with his mother. 

One of his and Keigo’s biggest hurdles was their secrecy—both of them. They hid things like trump cards, like they needed something that could prove as a last-minute out. At the end of the day, Touya was too used to keeping secrets to not keep them. His secrets felt like his shirt; without them, he was naked, and all his scars were exposed. 

“Fine,” Tenko said again, barging past Touya with a sour look. 

“We’re fighting,” Touya blurted out without thinking, his voice moving faster than his mind, the words staining the air like how the black dye used to tinge his hair. He took a deep breath in.

Tenko stopped in his tracks, turning around slowly. “You guys always fight,” he muttered. “You always make up in the end.”

“No, this is different.” Touya, suddenly, wished he hadn’t worn the shirt Kei bought for him. It had short sleeves, and he felt bare. “Before, half the time we were fighting just for the sake of it. It never meant anything but—this time, it’s real. We’ve been fighting ever since we got here, and I think we’ve been fighting for a lot longer but didn’t know it.”

Tenko blinked. “What are you fighting about?” 

He sounded serious, quiet and sincere. Touya had heard this voice speaking to Toga early in the morning, in the kitchen as Toga went down to grab juice only to fall apart when no one was looking. Touya wasn’t meant to know, but Toga had never been very good at keeping secrets. She was an open book. Touya just didn’t want to spend time reading.

He shrugged. “Everything. Nothing. I thought we’d made up but...I don’t think we’ve resolved anything. Keigo likes to shove it all away as if it’s some work email that can be answered later.”

Tenko pursed his lips. “I’m not good at advice. You know my parents argued a lot. Getting things out in the open doesn’t always help…”

“My kids think we’re getting a divorce.”

“Oh.” Tenko fell silent again, whatever shitty words he was going to spurt out long gone. He looked awkward, just standing there as he fiddled his thumbs, mud and dried blood cracking on his face and his hair crusty and jagged from the rain.

“Yeah,” Touya let out, breaking the silence that had looped over them again. Only, this time, it wasn’t something on purpose. There weren’t any words meant to fill the gap, and it was strangely comfortable. Touya sighed. “I don’t think we’ll break up. Keigo wouldn’t do that to the kids but…” Touya knew a divorce was better than living under a roof with two loveless parents. Keigo knew it too. 

“Do you still love him?” 

“Of course.” The reply came fast. Touya didn’t even have to think about it. 

Tenko’s lips quirked up at the corners, something almost sincere shining in his eyes. “I think you’ll be alright. He clearly still loves you. You can still fix it.”

Tenko turned around, glancing at the party. It was weird to hear such sensible support coming from the guy who liked to destroy everything in his path. This was the same man who Touya had seen waste countless hours screaming at little children through a headset over how much he’d kill them. This was the same person who’d gotten so engrossed in a digital world that he hadn’t even realised a week had passed until Touya finally checked up on him (there was a reason he went around Tenko’s house so often now). 

All this time, he’d been wondering if growing up was really a good thing. He had a bunch of things he loved now, but it seemed to be a trade-off. 

Tenko proved him wrong, though. Growing older was working out well for him. He seemed more reliable, strangely. 

“Okay,” Touya responded, and Tenko nodded. 

“We need to find Toga,” he declared and pushed Touya forward, towards the noise and sounds and bright, blaring lights. 

The trees opened to something Toga would love. There was a huge pool, round and twisting through the space, cutting across the floor and the large, pale slabs of rocks making up the ground. A bridge over the pool stretched over a group of people’s heads as a girl squealed, drunk and delusional as someone pushed her into the glittering water. Smiles painted everyone’s faces around them, matching glitzy dresses and swimsuits that Touya didn’t think he would ever be able to pull off if he were in their place.

They looked strange in their shirt and shorts combo. They looked old. So painfully old. Touya had never really felt that old, but he felt older than Jin now. This crowd was at least half his age, and that was jarring to think about.

“I hate this place,” Tenko muttered and barged past a girl shooting heart eyes at him, not caring as she screamed, collapsing into someone else and sending a bunch of people scattered over the floor like a line of dominoes. Unfortunately for her, Tenko’s only true love was a gaming console.

Touya scanned the area, drifting past a group of boys showing off their muscles in a circle as if it were some cult initiation tactic, to what he was pretty sure was Spinner dying on the dance floor. Jin was nowhere to be seen and maybe that was for the best, really. This wasn’t his scene, and while he hung around Toga who was a complete and utter party animal on the inside, he preferred the quieter life, a place away from the noise he’d grown up with—away from the noise that constantly flooded his head. He liked distractions, but something like this was too much. 

Touya guessed they really were getting older. 

Blonde people popped in his peripheral vision, but none of them was Toga. He dodged around various others, each of them younger and better dressed than he was, but he didn’t give a shit anymore. He just wanted to find Toga so he could go back to their side of the island. All he wanted to do was slide into bed and finally go to fucking sleep. He was tired and sick of this crap.

Someone screamed, and it was loud, high-pitched. It pinged in Touya’s ears in a way he recognised all too well. His head snapped to his left, zoning in on a group of girls huddled around a bar. In the middle sat a very blonde, very drunk girl with loose space buns falling to pieces around her face.

“Shots! Shots! Shots!” someone chanted, bright-faced with too much blusher and sporting equally as pink hair. A neon green plastic crab sat on her head like an alien crown.

Toga and a girl with brown hair knocked back shot after shot, racing one another to see who finished the line first. It was a bit embarrassing to watch, and all Touya could think about was the time he’d done that with Keigo. It ended with Keigo puking in the back of some random alleyway they’d stumbled into, and Touya held his victory over his head as if it was some stupid golden trophy.

Toga grinned now just like how he did back then. Sparkles lit up her face, small pink heart stickers and glitter smearing over her cheeks and the bridge of her nose. The girl with brown hair finished first, slamming her last shot down seconds before Toga tipped hers down her throat. Cheers erupted around them, the girls somehow managing to create a certain frequency of noise that rode over the DJ. The brown-haired girl pumped her fists into the air, jumping up and down as she screamed her face off. Her cheeks were dark with coral pink, but she looked happy.

Toga screamed as well, and all the girls darted away, joining the frenzy of writhing bodies on the dance floor. Touya turned around to elbow Tenko, only to find that he was all alone, standing in the middle of an outdoor party scene with dirt in his hair and blood on his face like an idiot. No one spared him a second glance, too hyped up on alcohol and euphoria to think of anything other than their friends and who they could possibly get with. 

It was a mess. 

Touya stepped away, heading to the one place Toga just occupied. He slid onto a barstool and motioned to the bartender, hoping to wash away the night with every sip that slid down his throat. Toga looked like she was having fun here—more fun than she was having on the other side of the island, at least. In fact, Toga looked like she was having more fun than she’d had in years. She looked like before, smiley and hazy-eyed, wandering around with a group of girls finally her age. Touya wondered if this was really what she wanted all along. If she had met this group before, would she even be a constant presence at Tenko’s house? Would she even bother to keep poking and prodding Touya like an insistent, annoying thorn in his side?

The bartender sent him a tired smile as if he knew exactly how Touya felt and placed a glass of something Touya had no idea what was in front of him. It didn’t have any ridiculous, frivolous cocktail umbrellas, or wedges of fruit sticking obnoxiously out the top, so he muttered a small thank you back, probably not even audible over the volume around him, and knocked the drink down his throat. 

He didn’t know how long he’d been there, getting more tired and somehow feeling all his energy rush back to him at once. It was an experience, one that caused his mind to forget, and that was exactly what he needed.

Someone slid into the stool next to him, leaning against the counter in a way Touya knew was someone trying to hit on him. He rolled his eyes, preparing to completely slap whoever this was away because this was the last thing he needed, and he didn’t know if it was the island, alcohol or just the fact that everyone in Eden East was a desperate loser, but he’d had way too many people hit on him in the past hour—more than he’d had hit on him his entire life, in fact, and he used to be the aloof, edgy bass player in a semi-famous band. 

He froze when he saw honey eyes gleam back at him, a crystal smile shining through a half-smirk, just the right amount of cocky to not seem like a complete asshole. The man had tired bags under his eyes, and his cheeks were red as leaves clambered through his hair. Touya thought they must have looked like a complete pair—wild and old and perfectly out of place in a shitty party like this. They probably looked like they’d just fucked in a bush nearby and only now were getting to know one another. 

“Hey, hot stuff,” Keigo drawled, his words slow and flirty. His smirk widened. “I’m Hawks. What’s a cute thing like you doing here all by yourself?”

Touya frowned. “Seriously?”

His husband straightened fully, brushing the leaves out of his hair as much as possible as he fixed his shirt. “Okay, okay, I know that wasn’t great but just go along with it. I”m trying to apologise."

A single white eyebrow disappeared into Touya’s eyebrow. He picked his almost empty glass up and swirled the last few remaining drops of golden brown around. “This is a pretty shitty apology, Hawks.”

Keigo pouted. “Hey, don’t laugh at the name. I spent a solid fifteen minutes trying to come up with one before approaching you.”

“You’ve been watching me?”

“Yes,” Keigo admitted, gnawing at his cheek lightly as he reached his arms out, instantly hearing how it sounded. “But not in a creepy way! You’re way too hot to not catch my attention.”

Touya wanted to die. Curl into a little ball and just—die. He settled for swinging his leg out from its comfortable resting place on the stool and kicking at the man next to him. “Kei, stop. God, this is so bad,” he groaned, burying his face into his elbow. “What do you want?” he mumbled into his skin.

“Well, I’d first like to sweep you off your feet and carry you away from here because, holy shit, the number of people who have approached you, damn. I always knew you were special but fuck.”

Touya kicked at him again, this time hitting his shins, even though he swung out blindly.

Keigo yelped. “Okay! Okay, fine! I’ll stop. I’ll stop!” A laugh bled through his words as Touya lifted his head, spying Keigo’s frame next to him. 

With the way he stood, leaning heavily over the bar and half over Touya, the lights behind his head lit up his hair, making the blonde seem almost luminescent. Touya was too buzzed to think about anything other than how pretty Kei looked. It was unfair. 

“Keigo, shut the fuck up,” he bit out, pushing his glass away from his face so he could see his husband more. “You’re somehow even worse at pick-up lines now than when we first met.”

Keigo gaped, his hand over his chest in false offence. “My pick-up lines were great! You just have shitty taste.”

It was Touya’s turn to smirk as he ran his eyes up and down Keigo’s body. He snorted. “And yet, I married you.”

“Touché.” 

Keigo wrinkled his nose, sniffing slightly in the cute way he did when he was thinking too hard. Touya watched as his hand reached out, getting closer and closer to his own. On instinct, he moved his fingers away. If it surprised Keigo, he didn’t show his reaction in any way. Instead, he grabbed Touya’s used glass and touched it to his lips, swallowing the last few droplets waiting inside.

His face blanched immediately, and Touya laughed, openly and freely. It hurt to move his face so much, but his mind had gotten too used to relaxing around Keigo; he couldn’t hold back what he was really feeling for long. At least, not while slightly intoxicated. 

“What is that?” Keigo gagged, pushing the glass as far away from him as possible. The bartender came around and picked it up, whizzing it far out of their sight. “It tastes disgusting.”

Touya shrugged and leaned against his hand, his elbow digging into the bar surface as his shirt pulled against his shoulder. “Dunno, actually.” He didn’t elaborate more, even if he probably should have—he didn’t have the energy to do so, or maybe his mind was already gone, wandering off like a curious, stupid dog on a night-time stroll. 

Keigo seemed to catch on, looping his arm in Touya’s and hauling him to his feet. He tugged him close, tilting his head up, so he was peering through his eyelashes. In the soft lights overhead, flashing from Saturn pink and baby blue slowly, the action almost looked sickly romantic, like an atmospheric scene from a shitty romcom little girls would faun over. 

“What d’ya say, hot stuff? Wanna get outta here?”

Warm arms wound around his waist holding him up to stop him from falling, and Touya found his cheek pressed into messy hair, swaying slightly as if they were dancing in their kitchen. “Okay,” he said, nodding softly. “Where should we go?”

Keigo’s face bloomed against his chest, the stretch of his cheeks over his collarbone alerting Touya to the smile. “There’s a really pretty place nearby that I think you’d love.”

Keigo took his hand and led him through the crowd, parting the way like a chivalrous knight leading their delirious lady. Touya couldn’t help but laugh as he tried to trip Keigo up in the process, earning a hard glare that melted within seconds. He was still angry—they both were—but Keigo was trying something, and Touya was tired of the awkward thing that hung between them, dark and heavy like a foreboding shadow. 

They stumbled into an empty clearing, little bushes with lamps springing out the top of them, reaching into the sky and paving the way like a row of lanterns, lining a shallow pathway. They glanced around, eyes wide as if they were teenagers wandering into a forbidden forest at night. It kind of felt like that too. 

Keigo skipped around behind him, giggling as he placed his hands over Touya’s eyes. He had to stand up on his tiptoes in order to reach, and that was nothing short of amusing.

“Hey!” he suddenly cried, jerking weirdly to the side. “Don’t elbow me, you asshole!”

Touya’s lips curled into a smirk under the hands over his face, his lips stretching up to almost meet them, as if trying to give them a hug. “What?” he mocked. “Too slow to handle it?”

Keigo huffed in his ear, a sound of indignation that rose in the air, warm like their breaths. He pushed Touya forward, guiding him in a direction he couldn’t see.

“Where are we going?” 

“It’s a surprise,” Keigo replied helpfully, too smug and too cocky, as if this was some great, sweet thing he had planned out this entire time.

For once, Touya didn’t say anything back. It took a few minutes. He was pretty sure he almost fell at some point, or either, Keigo was about to lead him into a tree because he was swerved to the side at the last second, pushed in exactly the opposite direction that could only make him raise his eyebrows under the fingers pressing against his face.

Finally, Keigo stopped, and their footsteps gave away to the regular rush of water in the background.

“We’re here!” his husband announced cheerfully, pulling his hands away and letting the light flood Touya’s eyes again.

White spots clouded his vision for a few seconds, spotting like sweet bubbles before bursting one by one, revealing dark green and the starry sky, smearing high over trees. He followed the flow of bark down to the ground. Little strands of light green and pink flowers made up plush grass, and a waterfall painted itself to his right, pushing clear blue through the earth and forming a winding river. The moonlight filtered down like dancing ribbons, kissing everything it could see in its path.

Touya was speechless, stuck just taking in the sights as if, with time, he could record each and every detail into the back of his mind.

Keigo’s fingers brushed his. “Do you like it?”

Touya turned to face him, to face the light blue reflecting in his eyes, the moonlight bouncing off rushes of water and leaves and staining itself in dirty blonde. They were a mess here, together and completely alone. His throat suddenly felt extremely dry, as if he hadn’t just drunk the past hour away, brooding to himself over the very man in front of him.

He wondered if this were another avoidance tactic—another thing Keigo would shove in his to make everything okay again. But his husband said he wanted to apologise and Touya believed him. They’d pushed things off so much to the point where they couldn’t ignore it anymore. It was too obvious, too clear in front of them, just as big a monster as the waterfall raging in the background. 

It was beautiful, too, in its own villainous way. Its complexity made Touya’s head spin as it wound around them, knotting their skin and cells and brain together in a way that could never be undone. They would probably be stronger after this, able to read one another better and more easily. 

Touya linked their hands and said, “Of course.” 

No matter what Keigo gave him, even if it was just his love, appreciation and time, Touya would always cherish it. He wasn’t a material person—he’d spent the better part of his life growing up with almost nothing, after all.

He stroked back Keigo’s hair, threading a dying leaf out and letting it flutter to the floor. He squeezed their hands together like a mini reminder, a tangible piece of proof that they could both hold on to. “Of course,” he said again.

Keigo’s smile was relieved. His face looked calmer, happier, less lines and tense muscles over his cheeks. “Good,” he said back, pulling them closer, so they passed a small ring of benches, chunky in a way that only looked comfortable to lie down forever on. “I found this place earlier,” he muttered, “and I remembered how you wanted to see the waterfall, so ta-da!” He threw his free arm around him, gesturing to the water, trees and everything that couldn’t be gestured to at once. 

They sat down by the stream. Keigo pulled his face forward, hand on his chin as he gently stroked over the skin on his cheek, frowning slightly as he cleaned away the blood and mud, and anything else he found shining in there. He didn’t ask any questions, and that was probably smart. There was already too much to be said between them to add this onto the pile.

“I’m sorry,” he started, breaking the silence that had fallen over them as they tended to one another’s wounds, quickly checking over to see the various scrapes and bruises lining their arms. 

On Touya, with his scars, everything almost blended together, but on Keigo, each mark stood out like a car alarm, blaring harshly against the smooth quiet of his skin. 

“I’m sorry for everything. I’m sorry I work too much and I come home too late, and I don’t see the kids as much as I’d like to and I don’t help out with dinner. And I’m barely even there for dinner in the first place.” He swallowed hard, taking a rushed breath as his face crumpled together with his thoughts, too much needing to be said in too little time. “I’m sorry for not being there, for missing Hina’s recitals and plays, and being too busy for Riku. And I’m sorry—” He grabbed Touya’s face in his, pulling him in closer until he couldn’t avoid the pain and regret and guilt gnawing away at the dull gold in Keigo’s eyes. “—for making you feel so alone in a house where you’re anything but. You’re not alone, Touya. I’m here.”

Their foreheads thumped together as Touya’s hands dug into the grass around him, ripping up strands of green and pushing them under his nails. Every moment where he felt even the littlest bit like his mother, alone in a place where he was surrounded by people, faded into the distance, replaced by the feeling of Keigo’s tears on his cheek, of how close they really were. Keigo would never leave him to face anything alone.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered back, the words choking his throat. “For ignoring you. For pretending you didn’t care. For just generally being a dick.”

Keigo laughed at that, his eyes still shut as his breaths fell between them, sunshine yellow chuckles leaving his ribs. “Yeah, you were a bit of an asshole, but so was I.”

Touya kissed his cheek, a barely-there touch that sent shivers down Keigo’s spine. Keigo turned his head, brushing along scar tissue and nicked flesh until he found Touya’s lips, mismatched and tired, but soft. It felt like home as their lips dragged across each other’s, hands wringing around to clutch at chests in a desperate hug.

A weight was lifted off their ribs, floating through their pores and disappearing into the night sky as they fell against the grass, Keigo laughing for a few seconds when he accidentally kneed Touya in the stomach. Everyone else was forgotten as they peppered kisses all over each other’s skin, a promise pressed into every one.

☼

It was well in the early hours of the day when the group found one another again, squashing close together in Mirio’s jeep. Mirio had offered to take them all back to their villas, and Touya didn’t know why, but he was tired. Keigo told him to not question it as Rumi yelled at Spinner to move over, kicking his legs when he wasn’t shuffling along his seat fast enough.

Mirio grinned at them, but told them to stop jostling around so much; it was pushing the car off balance.

Tenko was too obsessed with his phone, sitting with his teeth digging into his bottom lip as Spinner and Rumi argued on his left. Jin sat quietly on his right; his lips tugged downwards. 

“So, where’s Toga?” Moe wondered aloud, her voice finally grabbing Rumi’s attention from trying to kill Spinner, even if she still had an elbow in his quickly-turning-green face.

“She’s with Uraraka,” Jin replied and shuffled his feet, unable to decide how, exactly, he wanted to sit. “She likes it better there.”

Touya heard the unsaid without us. He’d seen Toga, and she did look happier, freer in a kind of way she had never been before, even as she was allowed to do almost anything while she hung around them. It was harrowing, in a way, to see Jin so broken up about yet another person leaving him. First, it was his partner, and now, it was his best friend.

“She’s not gone forever,” Keigo input. “She’ll be back.”

Jin shrugged, seemingly already lost hope in anything in his life. Touya said he didn’t care before, but he could see how out of place Jin must have felt in that party. Even he didn’t want to be there, but Jin was different. He was one of the oldest in the group, even if it was by a few years, and he hung around with the youngest person out of them.

“You’re not old,” Touya told him, his voice carrying over the sound of the wheels against the road. “And you’re not boring. Neither of us can stand that party either.”

Jin smiled, then, and the crinkles by his eyes glinted like tiny knives. “It’s okay. I know I’m getting older and I’m fine with that. I guess I just forgot it felt like to be seen as old.”

Touya didn’t know what happened at the party. He chose to stay silent as Rumi cracked a few shitty jokes, Keigo throwing bird puns in where he could. Jin seemed happier, now, joining in where he could and poking fun until he got poked at himself. Moe stole Tenko’s phone and almost instigated her own murder.

By the time they reached their villas, even Mirio was laughing with them. He shooed them all to bed, reminding them about how Toshinori expected them at sunrise. All of them knew they wouldn’t make it, Mirio included. 

When they crawled back into bed, their pyjamas sighing over their skin, Touya shuffled around until he faced his husband. Keigo’s pyjamas were a small bird-themed t-shirt and shorts set. He had tried to get Touya a matching pair in blue, but Touya threatened to burn it if he ever did that, so Keigo only got a set for himself. Touya was happier with his plain clothes anyway.

“Why ‘Hawks’?” he asked.

Keigo was caught out for a moment, his mouth slightly open as the question sank into his skin, processing in his mind after everything else that had happened that night. He snorted, leaning forward as he fell into the pillow sideways, almost knocking his head against Touya’s in the process. “W—what?”

Touya clicked his tongue, flicking his finger against Keigo’s forehead. “Why did you pick ‘Hawks’ of all names? Why not ‘Chicken’? Certainly fits you better,” he scoffed, moving onto his back to look up at the ceiling.

Keigo pulled a face. “Hawks are cool! You’re just jealous that it’s better than your nickname. Remember ‘Dabi’?”

Touya pushed his face away, scrunching up his nose and smothering the resounding snickers emanating from his husband. “Urgh, don’t remind me.” He loved the days when he played in the League of Villains, but his alias sucked, and he would gladly forget it for the rest of eternity. He had chills just from thinking about how cringe it was.

“Aw, babe, but you’re Dabi! The super cool, broody edgelord who didn’t like to talk to anyone! All your fans loved you!” Keigo cooed, making his voice high-pitched as he batted his eyelashes.

Touya kicked him in the side, ignoring the resounding ‘oof’ and finding joy in the thump that followed as soon as Keigo hit the floor. “You’re the reason Hina has a bird obsession, you know?”

“And I’m glad!” Keigo wheezed from the ground, still not over how embarrassed Touya got over his nickname from years ago. “Besides,” he bit back, scrambling to his feet. “You can’t say shit. Riku looks up to you so much that he even tries to look like you.”

“What?” 

Touya had no idea what he was talking about. Riku clearly loved Keigo more. The last time Touya tried to talk to him after Hina’s birthday party, Riku had only run away. It was Keigo who actually got him to calm down. Touya still had no idea what that entire thing was about. He didn’t want to be distant from his son like how he was with his father, but he didn’t want to force Riku to talk to him either. 

Keigo had no idea what he was talking about, he told himself again.

His husband shot up in the bed, blonde hair flying everywhere as untamed eyebrows shot up. “Are you kidding me?”

Touya only blinked. “What?” he asked again, now completely lost.

Keigo gasped, a light laugh of disbelief leaving him. Then, noticing Touya’s lack of reaction, he leaned in, analysing every twitch of a muscle on his face. “Oh, my god,” he let out. “You really don’t know.”

Now it was Touya’s turn to sit up. “Know what?”

Keigo ran a hand over his face, laughing quietly to himself.

“What?” His husband just continued to laugh, and Touya was getting annoyed now. “Seriously? What is it?” He shook his shoulder roughly. “Just tell me!”

“Fine! Fine!” Keigo giggled back, giving in and holding Touya’s so he’d stop trying to turn him into a maraca. “Wow. I knew your brother was oblivious, but I didn’t realise it was something that ran in the family.”

Touya let out a hot breath through his nose. “What. Is. It?” he fumed, clenching his jaws together. 

Keigo only kissed his nose. “You’re so hot when you’re angry.”

“I will kick you off this bed again and force you to sleep on the floor.”

Keigo’s arms shot up in surrender, and he moved back, a smirk tugging at his eyes. 

“Just tell me!” 

“Okay, geez. Patience,” Keigo shot back but snuggled back into Touya’s side, clutching onto his arm in such an overly loving way. 

Touya’s head dipped to the side, the force of his eye roll threatening to rupture his skull. 

“Riku loves you,” Keigo stated. “He looks up to you so much. He even tried to get his hair to look like yours, and he hates his eye colour. He wishes they were blue.”

It was such a simple sentence, but Touya couldn’t make sense of it at all. He was stuck, frozen in time, as his eyes focused and refocused, picking out the single loose thread in the bedsheets below him. 

“But I have blue eyes,” he finally let out. 

Keigo only laughed, falling back onto his pillow and tugging on Touya’s arm for him to come down too. “Yeah, dumbass. That’s what I’m fucking saying.”

It still wasn’t making sense. “He bleached his hair so he’d fit in with his friends, though. One of them literally looks like they have a flaming Cheeto for hair.”

“That’s mean!” Keigo slapped his arm, but his head fell back with the force of his sudden laugh. “And Haruki is an angel. They don’t deserve this slander.”

Touya shook his head. “They do. Their hair is so bad. I don’t understand how their parents let them do that.”

“Says you. Do you remember you went out and dyed your hair and got, like, a million piercings just because your father said he didn’t like them?”

“Piss off,” he snapped softly. His words held no heat in them, no matter what he tried to convince himself.

Keigo threaded their hands together, curling around, so they rested on Touya’s stomach, moving slowly in the light. “You know, Riku gets really upset, sometimes.”

Touya nodded. He knew. He never knew what to do, though. “He won’t tell me why.”

“Some kids think he’s weird.”

“Fuck them. Is this because he’s adopted? Because that’s complete bullshit and we should talk to the school—”

“No.” Keigo cut him off. “It’s because of your scars.”

Oh. 

Touya fell silent as his heart rate casually increased, getting faster and faster with each circle Keigo rubbed into his skin. It seemed that, even if his son did love him, he still was a burden in some way. No matter what, his scars always seemed to hang over his head, as if them being on his skin wasn’t enough damage already. 

“That girl at Hina’s party… She said some things about them, and they ended up fighting. He gets really sad about them, you know? He wishes he could help, but he doesn’t even know what they’re from. He sees you moving, and he knows you’re in pain.” Keigo leaned over, pulling his face closer to leave a kiss on Touya’s cheek, right in between the end of hazy lilac flesh and pink skin. “He stands up for you everywhere.”

Riku was at the age where he could see things and piece things together. He was slowly working all the pieces out, and Touya thought about how he left them with his mother. He thought about how his brother had probably been around a lot this week, and Riku would see yet another person who was scarred. 

“I should tell him,” he whispered.

Keigo nodded, and his hand left Touya’s, running up his chest and neck to brush through his hair, thread lines of white through his fingers. “You should.”

They fell asleep. Touya decided it was about time he stopped having so many secrets.

☼

Mirio stood silently by the side, his feet sinking into the sand, as Toshinori crossed his arms, looking only like a disappointed dad as he stared back at the group. They were on the beach, Rumi and Moe cuddled up against one another as Touya held Keigo’s hand. Spinner elbowed Tenko to put his phone away and was only met with a dismissive grunt. Jin stood alone, but he seemed peaceful. For once, not a million things were running through his mind; there weren’t a multitude of thoughts to keep track of. His lips were a tiny slant against his face, but he didn’t seem as tired as he usually did.

“None of you were here at sunrise,” Toshinori stated.

“You weren’t here either,” Tenko shot back, his red eyes glaring under his long hair.

“I was,” Toshinori replied back calmly. “I left once it became clear that I was the only one who had shown up.”

“Well, sorry we don’t want to wake up at the ass-crack of dawn, so kick us off the island already.”

Keigo shook his head silently at Touya’s outburst, ducking his face down to hide the smile pulling at his lips. Rumi didn’t hold back as she guffawed, tipping her head back rudely and yanking Moe in closer with a hand around her waist, almost lifting her off the ground entirely. 

Toshinori pursed his lips, but the look was gone in a second, a bright smile replacing it. “I’m not here to kick you out,” he replied and motioned to Mirio, who suddenly appeared with what looked like an animal statue. “I’m here to give you these.”

“What?” Jin blurted out, voicing the confusion everyone felt. 

“Congratulations. I underestimated you,” Toshinori admitted, but he still seemed pleased. Proud of them, almost.

Touya squinted his eyes, wondering if, really, Toshinori knew everything that happened last night. Everyone seemed to be doing better this morning as compared to the night before. He glanced at Mirio, but with how wide his eyes were, it was clear he had no idea what was going on either. 

“I’m here to give you your spirit animals,” Toshinori declared and held a medium-sized wooden statue in his palms. It was fairly large, but it seemed to be crafted well. 

He walked over to Rumi and Moe, presenting it to them with a golden smile. Touya could see Tenko gritting his teeth out of the corner of his eye, but whether it was at whatever was on his phone or at Toshinori’s oblivious optimism, he didn’t know.

“You are the bunny,” Toshinori said to Rumi and Moe. “Together, you do all sorts of daring things, jumping higher and higher and pushing your limits, but you also are able to overcome any hurdle standing in your way.” 

Moe cooed at the bunny statue, poking at its little carved wooden nose. “Aw, look, Rumi! It kinda looks like you!”

Rumi batted her hands away, shushing her because she was not someone who resembled a cute bunny. She was a bad bitch, and she stuck by that, even as Moe poked at her nose, rubbing her head because Rumi was so short.

Next, Mirio passed a wooden bear statue to Toshinori. It stood proudly on all four legs, looking to the side with warm, round eyes. He gave it to Jin, weirdly serious despite how flamboyant he usually was.

“I know you came here with a partner, but she’s on the other side of the island now. Usually we have spirit animals for couples, yet, this one is specifically for you. You’re strong, and you ground the people around you, even if you need some help with grounding yourself, but I think you have found the key to doing that now.”

Jin’s eyes were wide, and Touya wanted to look away. It seemed like he could cry at any moment and he hurriedly accepted the statue, slamming Toshinori into a big hug which was enthusiastically returned. 

Tenko gagged as he turned away. “Ew. Gross.”

Rumi stomped on his toe, and he yowled like a cat that just had its tail stepped on. 

Toshinori laughed as he pulled away. It was a large laugh, resonating from the depths of his belly. For a second, he sounded a bit like how Touya imagined Santa Claus would sound when he told Hina about him.

“You are a crow.” He presented a dark crow statue, beady eyes watching around it, to Spinner and Tenko. “You’re cunning and intelligent; adaptable even if one of you can’t seem to leave behind his phone.” At this, Tenko finally put his phone down by his side, looking hard at the floor. “You’re protective to a fault of your friends, and you won’t just let them do something alone.”

“T-thanks,” Spinner mumbled, cherry blossoms blooming across his cheeks as he accepted the statue. It seemed they had also been figured out.

“And you two,” Toshinori said. He turned to Touya and Keigo, pushing their statue into their hands. “Your spirit animal is...the ass.”

Jin wheezed. 

“I’m sorry, what?” Keigo muttered as politely as he could. 

Toshinori grinned boldly and pushed a donkey statue at him. “You’re both too stubborn for your own good. You take the weight of everyone else onto you and say it’s fine, still continuing on your path. But you’re a team. It’s okay to share the burden with someone else and lighten the load.”

Touya could see where Shinsou had been influenced here. Or, maybe, Toshinori really did care, and he’d been keeping tabs on them all this entire time. 

“Now!” he beamed, throwing his arms out wide. His hair flapped wildly in a sudden gust of wind, slapping around like loose pieces of spaghetti. “It’s jet ski time!”

“Fuck, yes!” Rumi screamed, spinning Moe around as she laughed, throwing her own arms into the air with the biggest grin Touya had ever seen her muster. 

The last few days of their holiday was spent alternating between everything else the resort offered. Touya dragged Keigo to the spa, forcing him to sit down and at least get some quiet time to relax and ease the tension from his muscles. He eventually booked an appointment with a masseuse. When he came back, Touya could see the difference just from the way he walked. He was looser, now, his limbs moving around slightly easier, more fluidly. He looked like he was walking on clouds, the ground shifting under him, puffing up him with warm air. 

It was nice to see Keigo looking so relaxed. Without his phone around, he really didn’t have anything to worry about. He was only thirty-two, but he acted so much older. 

Touya pulled him in for a kiss before lunch. And after lunch. He kissed him before bed, and when they woke up in the morning. Tenko groaned every time he had to witness it, but that just made Touya do it more, his smiling ruining their kisses more than it helped. Keigo wasn’t complaining; he also kissed Touya every chance he got. It was like they were trying to make up for all the months where they had shared next to nothing. 

They now had the option about whether or not to go to the Couples Skill-Building sessions. Jin was the only one who still went until the end of the trip, but after some thinking, Touya decided talking to Shinsou about...certain other aspects of his life wouldn’t hurt. He made sure Keigo was with him, and they talked about everything—no more secrets to hide behind. Shinsou was incredibly helpful, taking his time with understanding everything that had happened in both of their childhoods, and how that may have affected them now. 

Keigo learnt that his obsession with his job was really rooted in his fear of turning back into his childhood. Back then, money was one of the main issues he faced every day. If his mother had money, they could have stayed together. She wouldn’t have given Keigo up, and they wouldn’t have remained with his father. They would have been free, and all Keigo wanted for Touya, Riku and Hina was for them to feel free as well, not bound down by something they may never get. 

Shinsou led them through an exercise which made them both realise how afraid they were of turning into their parents. It hurt for Touya to see how much Keigo was still hurting, even if he hid it incredibly well. Looking back, it was obvious how much their upbringing had affected them, their every action and choice. It was so painfully obvious, but Touya had never seen it, or if he did, he’d brushed it off. 

The Couples Skill-Building sessions were also a chance for Touya to tease their therapist. It was something he couldn’t just not do, especially since he’d seen the way Shinsou sat with the other man back at the staff shack. 

“It was the blonde guy, right?” he asked one time.

Shinsou froze as Keigo’s face slowly morphed into a grin, knowing exactly what Touya was talking about. 

“He’s cute,” Keigo added, leaning forward to rest on his palm. 

“He’s alright,” Shinsou muttered, unconsciously beginning to fiddle with the watch around his wrist. “More annoying than anything else. He wouldn’t leave me alone when I first got here.”

Touya smirked darkly, and Shinsou promptly ended their session, saying he had something he was late for when they both knew he was just running away. 

On their last day at the resort, the group travelled over to Eden East in Mirio’s jeep (they would never try canoeing again, nevermind how much Moe pleaded for them to). 

“Toga keeps spamming me about a hangover,” Tenko complained, his face pulling as if he’d just sucked on a lemon. “She’s fucking twenty-seven, for god’s sake.”

“You were complaining about a hangover this morning,” Moe reminded him, an innocent smile ruining his life.

Tenko shut up for the entire ride, grumbling to himself quietly as Jin nattered on about how cool the snow spa room was. Touya knew how cool it was—it was one of his favourite things about this place. When he first came here, he didn’t think there would be much to miss; that he’d be glad to leave as soon as possible. He didn’t want to stay, however. He wanted to go back home and wrap Riku in a warm hug. He wanted to spin Hina around in the air and hear her tell him how her dolls got married and every tiny, trivial detail about their wedding. He wanted to talk with his mother, ask her how she was doing after years of being too afraid to even pick up the phone, and he wanted to see Shouto, finally get to know his brother when, before, he’d barely even tried. 

There were lots of things waiting for him back home, but Touya could enjoy one last night here in paradise. 

Tenko disappeared as soon as the car stopped, dashing out into the trees to a place only he seemed to know. Spinner followed after him, and Touya could hear his calls in the distance, already lost and alone. They all had Wi-Fi access now if they wanted it. 

“I’m going to the bar,” Keigo told Touya, nodding along to where Jin, Rumi and Moe had already started walking. “You coming?”

“Yeah.” Touya slipped his hand into Keigo’s, and they followed behind everyone, waving goodbye to Mirio, even though they would see one another in a few hours again when it came time to go home. 

When they reached the bar, a crowd had gathered to watch a live show nearby. On the stage, Touya could hear a strong voice singing out loud and proudly, hitting each note easily.

Keigo tapped his shoulder. “Isn’t this one of the League’s songs?”

It took a moment, but once Touya focused in on the lyrics, the clear words screaming about the death and destruction of society filled his mind. He snorted as Jin shot up in his chair, pushing his arms high into the air and singing shittily along. Tenko was the worst lyricist out there. 

“Holy shit, it’s Toga,” Rumi breathed, pushing herself up onto Moe’s shoulders to see over the crowd, her floral t-shirt flowing around unashamedly. She joined Jin in losing her voice in support of their friend. 

Touya was tall enough where he could just see over the crowd, spotting a grinning blonde at the back of the stage, banging the drums rhythmically with all her force. Her bangs whipped around on her forehead, colliding with her notorious space buns. By her side, slightly ahead of her, was the blonde guy Shinsou liked. He had a highlighter yellow electric guitar in the shape of a lightning bolt. It was obnoxious and blinding, and it seemed to suit the guy perfectly. On the other side of the stage was the brunette Toga was drinking with, playing Touya’s role as the bass guitarist, and at the front, singing her heart out, was another person Touya briefly recognised. She was another of Toga’s new friends with short dark purple hair. 

It was nice to see Toga had found a group she really loved. She looked like she was having a lot of fun. 

Touya pulled Keigo closer, resting his chin over the top of his head as they swayed together. Even if this trip was something for Rumi and Moe, he was glad Rumi had been so insistent that they came along. 

“Hey,” he whispered, his lips dropping to Keigo’s ear. 

Keigo’s eyes darted to this side, even though he could barely see Touya behind him. “Yeah?”

“I love you,” Touya confessed.

Keigo was giddy as he held onto Touya’s hands, dancing in the same spot as people whirled around them, the world moving faster and faster as they remained in the same place, intact and together. “I love you too,” Keigo murmured back, and there was nothing stopping Touya from hearing it this time.

The night faded away like exploding fireworks, bright and bold and something they would remember forever. 

fin.

extra: master chef keigo

There was a lot to be done with Tenko’s new game release, and Touya was swamped with work—from answering one call to getting back to another with an email, to running around picking up something else. It felt like his days never ended lately. He felt like his husband as he shoved papers into his bag, rushing out of Tenko’s house with his car keys in his mouth. 

Keigo had said he’d pick up the kids today but, twenty minutes ago, Riku had texted him, saying: HELP COME HOME PLS, and Touya was terrified. He’d tried to call his son to figure out what the fuck had gone wrong, but, of course, this was the time Riku wouldn’t answer his phone. It was a nightmare, and Touya was scared, dropping his bag onto his foot as he unlocked his car. He screamed in frustration as he bent down to pick up all the scattered papers over the driveway. It didn’t help that he knew there was a kid in the neighbouring house just watching him fail and cry and have a mini-meltdown with cold, impassive eyes, slurping his hot chocolate with the same enthusiasm as Shouto slurped cold soba. It was unnerving, and in a fit of immature, petty adultness, Touya flipped the kid the bird before bumbling into his car and driving away. 

“I’m home!” he yelled, bursting the door open with a heaving chest and panicked eyes.

He caught Hina in his arms as she rushed towards him, tears flowing down her chubby cheeks and red blotching over her skin. Riku bombarded him from his other side, and he held his kids close, more and more panic rushing through him as Hina’s wails got louder.

“What happened? Where’s your father?” he asked, turning from Hina to Riku in search of answers.

Keigo’s head popped out from behind the kitchen door, a painful grin straining at his lips as a bead of sweat rolled down the side of his face. A black spatula swung around in his right hand as he waved at Touya. “Hey! Welcome home!”

Riku buried his head in Touya’s shoulder. “Make him stop. Please. The smoke alarm’s gone off three times now.”

Touya blinked, setting his bag down onto the ground to lift Hina up and let her calm down while hugging someone. Riku followed him into the kitchen. All three of them instantly walked out. It looked like a warzone, and Touya never wanted to walk in there again.

Riku looked up at him pleadingly, as if he was the only hope left in the world. Unfortunately for him, Touya was not a characteristically good person, and he just brought his kids upstairs, willing the smoke alarm to not go off for a fourth time. He watched TV with his kids, turning the volume extra loud to drown out the sound of pots and pans clattering below them until Keigo announced that dinner was ready.

It didn’t look as bad on the plate as Touya would have thought it would. Riku still picked up a piece of chicken and sniffed it as if he were a dog, his face contorting quizzically as he tried to figure out what Keigo had done to it.

“So?” Keigo asked, his eyes as wide as an owl. He glanced around the table inquisitively. “Do you like it?”

Touya gulped. “Uh…”

Hina started crying again.

“Can we get KFC?” Riku wondered.

Keigo deflated, his mouth wide open as his shoulders dropped forward. Touya tried to hide his amusement as he patted his shoulder, just as awkward as Shouto was when he tried to comfort someone. 

“It’s nice,” he started, “but never again.”

“Yes,” Riku immediately agreed. “Dad, please, we love you but never try cooking again.”

“This sucks!” Hina shouted because children were brutally honest to a fault, and ran off to get ice cream from the freezer. 

That night, they ordered KFC (much to Riku’s glee), and Touya tried to show Keigo how to cook whenever he could. It was a slow process, but at least the next time Keigo made dinner for the family, Hina didn’t burst into tears before the first bite.