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Paul was… digesting the demigod thing. In pieces. It was a lot to take in. Like, look, it was one thing to meet a beautiful woman who was smart, funny, kind, and just all-around amazing and learn she had a child. He could handle that. He could handle the child being a bit on the unpredictable side – especially because the kid had a good heart and seemed to act with the best intentions. He could handle the fact that his girlfriend’s kid got into trouble literally everywhere he went –
But… the… the demigod thing…
It wasn’t that he didn’t believe them! He did. Sort of. Well… No, no, no. He just… was… unsure… of… well, everything at this point. Gods? Actual gods? In Manhattan? Siring children to fight in a war against titans who apparently were just around the corner and hoping to take over the world?
Paul was used to worrying about other things. Like health insurance… or parent-teacher conferences.
Sally and Percy acted so matter-of-fact about it too. Now that he knew, they seemed to be slowly slipping in the knowledge during everyday conversation as if that didn’t rock Paul’s world every single time.
“Hey, mom! Sorry, I’m late. Hellhounds-”
“Of course, sweetheart. Not your hellhound, right?”
“Nah, Mrs. O’Leary wouldn’t hurt anyone.”
Yeah. His stepson had a pet hellhound called Mrs. O’Leary. That was fun. Oh, yeah, stepson. They had told him all of this, and Paul still decided to marry into his family. How he was expected to live up to a literal Greek god was beyond him, but he would try his best. Percy seemed pretty impartial to the guy either way.
“Do… you see your dad often?” he had asked once after helping Percy with homework, and Percy commented it would be easier if written in Greek.
“Not really,” Percy shrugged. “I pray, but not really sure if he ever hears me unless I’m dying or something,” he said and then wrinkled his nose. “I’ve only seen him like…three times?” He ticked a finger off. “When I was twelve and returning Zeus’ masterbolt, when I was fourteen and the council had to decide if they were going to kill me and Bessie, and my birthday.” He finished and smiled brightly at Paul. “You met him then too!”
“I… did, didn’t I?” Paul said faintly and swallowed. “When… when they had to decide if they were going to kill you?” he asked, going back to the very concerning comment. Percy nodded. Paul gave him a small gesture to ask him to maybe expand upon that.
“Oh, well, it’s a little complicated. There’s a lot of stuff to do with the war,” he reasoned slowly. Paul bit his lip… of course, the war. “Um, Thalia – she’s Zeus’ daughter – was older than me. By… well, her age is a little messed up because she was a tree for a while, but she was going to turn sixteen a few days after this quest to save Artemis after she was kidnapped. However, Artemis asked her to join the hunt, which she did, and now she’s stopped aging and is immortal and all that,” Percy said with a wave of his hand. Paul blinked a few times. “But that meant she wasn’t going to be the prophecy kid, which meant I could be the prophecy kid… and they could delay the prophecy if they… you know.” He drew a finger over his neck. Paul opened and closed his mouth.
“Why didn’t you join the hunt?” he finally asked. Percy shook his head.
“Girls only,” he said and shrugged in a sort of ‘whatcha gonna do?’ motion. Paul put a hand over his mouth.
“I…see…” he lied because he didn’t see. Not at all. “This Thalia was… turned into a tree?” Paul leaned back in his chair. “She was turned into a tree,” he whispered to himself.
“A pine tree,” Percy told him. Paul raised an eyebrow. “I call her Pinecone Face,” he grinned proudly. Paul wanted to laugh, but he might have been having a medical emergency.
“And… why was she a tree?”
“She was dying, and it was how Zeus saved her life.” Percy shook his head. “I hope my dad never turns me into a tree or a… piece of kelp or something. I think I would be okay with dying instead,” he said with a shudder. “I didn’t like being turned into a guinea pig very much so…”
“I – you, wait,” Paul said, only to be interrupted by Sally calling that dinner was ready. Percy was gone in an instant, leaving Paul reeling. “A… guinea… he was turned into a guinea pig. My stepson was a guinea pig,” he whispered. “Jesus Christ. What am I supposed to do if he gets turned into a guinea pig again?”
Needless to say, Paul was trying his best, but sometimes it was hard. Especially because while Percy was apparently a hero and child of prophecy, he was also a freaking teenager, and teenagers were… well, you know. Teenagers.
“Where have you been? It’s like three in the morning!” Paul whispered, stifling a yawn. He wasn’t really upset, but he had been a little panicked that Sally might wake up and realize that her son hadn’t made curfew. Paul had been debating on how to best proceed with the whole ordeal – call the police? Summon a god? What was the protocol here?
Then Percy had climbed through the window. Normally, this might be concerning since they lived in a very tall apartment building, but given that Percy had gone to the Underworld more than once and his dad just poofed off the fire escape... Paul wouldn't question it.
“Sorry!” Percy whispered back. “Last minute, um, quest. Had to return a… sneaker,” he said and Paul stared.
“…just one?” He frowned and shook his head. “A sneaker?”
“Hermes’ sneaker. Yeah, one got stolen and he made me get it for him. Gods aren’t great with accommodating curfews,” he said and gave him a bright smile. Paul narrowed his eyes.
He had seen Percy post-quest. There was usually blood, dirt, ripped clothes, and sometimes even some gold dust that was apparently monster residue. None of this marred his stepson now. He looked perfectly clean and unharmed.
Still, what was Paul going to do? Call him a liar? Besides, maybe Hermes fixed him up as a sort of thank-you.
“…ah. Okay.” Percy blinked, looking a little shocked at the response. “I’m glad you’re okay,” Paul added. Percy stared at him for a few seconds before a slow grin spread over his face, and any remaining trepidation vanished.
“Thanks!” he said brightly and patted his arm as he passed. “See you in the morning!”
Paul narrowed his eyes. “You know, I wouldn’t be mad if you weren’t-”
“Night, Paul!”
Evil. Evil little demigod stepson. Paul rolled his eyes and locked the door. Not that he really felt safer with locked doors these days, but whatever. Percy was alive, safe, and unharmed. Really this was a win for everyone. With that knowledge, he went to bed…
…only to spited about a week later.
“Get this, he lost the other shoe,” Percy greeted as he climbed through the window. Paul glanced up from his book and then turned to the clock. Midnight.
“Maybe he should try wearing them,” Paul suggested dryly. “That might make it harder to steal.”
Percy laughed. His face was flushed and hair mused, looking very much like someone who had just gotten away with something that wasn’t quest-related.
“I’ll let him know next time I see him!” Percy said and tossed his bag to the ground with a thunk. Paul bit his tongue. He tried to think of something – anything he could say that would poke holes in the story, but… well… how do you use logic against something that defied all logic?
Tragically, it kept happening.
“Good morning. Quest?”
“Yep. Needed to save Zeus from crocodiles.”
“Ah, I see. How many crocodiles?”
“Just… so many crocodiles,” Percy nodded with a grimace. “Very unfortunate situation.” He wiped his hands free of what looked to be paint. Paul resisted the urge to sigh.
“Well, I’m happy you’re on better terms with Zeus,” he said and Percy threw him a questioning look. “You just seem so happy compared to the last time you went on a quest for him,” he pointed out, thinking about how three days ago Percy had returned home with slightly singed hair and a lot of foul language. Percy must have been thinking the same because he grimaced.
“Yep. Um, the crocodiles really brought us together.”
Paul made a face. Whatever. This was war. At this point, Paul knew that Percy knew he knew. This was just a subtle test to see how much he could get away with before Paul called him out on it. Paul wasn’t going to give in, though. He would find a way to get him to admit these were fake-quests and tell him what was really going on because he was a spectacular stepfather, damnit.
Percy didn’t make it easy, though.
“Oh, welcome back,” Paul told him about three weeks later. “More crocodiles?”
“Nah, marriage counseling. Aphrodite and Hephaestus,” Percy said, shaking his head. “Nasty stuff.”
“Didn’t think that fell in your domain.”
“A hero’s work is never done,” Came the dramatic reply as Percy put a hand over his chest and grinned at him. Paul scowled. Damn him. “You know, you don’t always have to wait up for me,” he added, amusement momentarily gone to look Paul over with a slight air of concern. Paul ran a hand over his face.
“If I didn’t volunteer to do it, then your mom would,” he said.
Percy frowned at him. “She doesn’t notice me leave, usually.”
Wait. Paul sat up. There it was. His opening. Percy always told Sally when he had a quest unless he was literally plucked from the world to complete it (something that apparently happened often). Percy would never just leave without telling her he was doing something dangerous.
Percy must have realized this too, because his eyes widened.
“Goodnight!”
“Wait-” Paul tried, but Percy had all but fled from the room. Paul cursed under his breath. So close. So freaking close. He would get him next time.
Next time came approximately two days later. Paul should mention that Sally didn’t tend to notice when Percy left on his little escapades. Paul only did because he had years of practice as a teacher at catching kids doing dumb shit. Percy was good, but he always had the same signs when sneaking out… He left his backpack by the door, made his mom chamomile tea (to lure her to sleep, no doubt), and went to bed early.
“Hey,” Paul said when Percy came through the door. “Your mom didn’t mention you were going on a quest tonight. Did you forget to tell her?” he asked, deciding to use the card he had discovered last time immediately. Percy smiled, dropping his bag to the floor with a certain amount of flourish that made Paul a little nervous.
“Don’t worry, I told her.”
“Really?” Paul asked skeptically. Percy smirked. “So…if I were to ask her, she would say she knew?”
Percy walked over to the counter and grabbed a blue cookie from the top. He turned back to Paul, meeting his eyes with an amused glimmer and took a bite.
“Ask her.”
Paul opened his mouth – deciding whether or not he would follow through on that threat when the bedroom door behind him opened. Paul jumped, turning to find Sally in a robe yawning as she walked into the kitchen.
“I thought I heard you come in,” she said and walked over to kiss Percy’s cheek. “How was your quest, sweetheart?”
Paul’s jaw dropped. No freaking way. Percy’s smile grew wider as he reassured his mother that it had gone spectacularly (this time, he had arm-wrestled Godzilla for Apollo, which… Paul was pretty sure Godzilla didn’t even belong in Greek mythology, but Percy was just flouting his success now). Paul glanced over to stare at Sally. Percy would never lie to her… it didn’t make sense. If there was one thing Paul knew about that relationship is that it was… damnit.
Sally smiled at him.
…she was in on it, wasn’t she? Paul had been betrayed. By his own wife, no less. Perhaps Paul had been foolish to think that she didn’t know her son was sneaking out. The woman knew everything about that boy. Paul should have known better than to underestimate her.
Back to square one then.
“Wow,” Paul said when Percy came home for Round 9 a few months later. “You’re so clean for having just…” He wracked his mind, trying to remember. “Fought the gorgons to help get Aphrodite into Hercules’ bachelor party,” he said. Percy shrugged.
“There are showers on Olympus.”
Paul buried his face in his hands. How was he supposed to win this? At this point, Paul and Percy were fairly close. Hell, Percy often gave Paul ideas on gift ideas for Sally while Paul took him out to drive around in his Camaro. He had even fought in that war of his – which… what? Paul had fought monsters now. He could add that to his resume. Percy had been pretty much won over by that alone.
But they both remained obstinate on this one thing and Paul was pretty sure it was going to last forever.
At least these days, Paul had a better idea of what Percy was even doing when he snuck out.
“Uh huh,” he said and got up to make himself some tea. “Nice hickey.”
Percy’s hand went to his neck in alarm. Paul grinned. There hadn’t been anything there, but good to know Annabeth was involved in whatever nonsense his stepson was getting into.
Percy scowled. “…cheater,” he muttered under his breath as he slinked into his room.
“I’m glad Aphrodite got into the party okay!” Paul sang, feeling like he definitely won this one. There was a grumble from Percy’s end before the bedroom door shut. Sally opened their door and peered after Percy before giving Paul an exasperated look.
“This is still going on?”
“I’m going to get him to admit it,” Paul vowed. Sally raised an eyebrow. “Just because he’s part god doesn’t mean I’m totally clueless. You know, not too long ago he told me he took a dip in the River Styx like Achilles did?” Paul said and shook his head. “Like I’m going to buy that,” he snorted.
Sally looked at him. Paul stared back. Wait.
“…no.”
“Yeah,” Sally agreed and Paul ran a hand over his face.
“No.”
“It helped him through the war,” Sally said nonchalantly. “He even showed me where his weak spot was,” she said with a small smile. Paul pinched the bridge of his nose. This household exhausted him sometimes.
The good news was that it was exactly three weeks later that Paul finally had his victory.
Paul had, admittedly, fallen a little lax in his grading. There was a lot going on in his life between his stepson’s adventures (and his fake adventures) as well as just being married to the best person in the world and random demigods showing up at his apartment with requests for Sally’s cooking.
At any rate, he needed to work late to get the grading done. He had finally reached his halfway point around three in the morning and decided that before anything else… he needed food. There were leftovers at the apartment, but Paul was honestly in the mood for something unhealthy and suitable for this god-awful hour. Thus, he found himself in Taco Bell staring at where Percy was sitting at one of the tables completely frozen with a Locos Tacos Supreme halfway to his mouth.
Paul grabbed his tray and walked over. He needed more sauce but also didn’t want to give Percy the chance to flee. He could see the wheels turning in his head as he narrowed his eyes before lowering his food with a slight grimace.
Paul sat down.
“Hello, Percy.”
Percy blinked up at him a few times with a frown, eyes roaming his face before snapping his fingers.
“Oh, we have met before, haven’t we?” he asked and Paul raised an eyebrow. “Sorry for the confusion. I know I look quite a bit like Perseus,” he said and Paul fixed him with a long look. Alright, demigod or not, he had worked with teenagers for a while now. He knew that ‘oh shit, he caught me’ look anywhere. “I’m Poseidon,” Percy said easily. “Just roaming around in my teenage form. How’s Sally?”
Unbelievable.
“I’m not entertaining this,” Paul snorted and reached over to steal a sauce packet from Percy’s tray. “So, what godly quest are you off doing this time?” he asked and leaned over to nudge Percy’s backpack. “With… a bottle of spray paint, skateboard, and concerning amount of water bottles.” He said and gave Percy a baffled look. “There’s like twelve water bottles in there.”
“I had to bottle up the River Lethe for conservation purposes,” Percy said without a hint of hesitation. Paul stole his Baja Blast too… just because he deserved Baja Blast.
“In that case, I feel like there should be more water bottles.”
“It’s a lot smaller than you might think,” Percy shrugged and Paul groaned. Fine. Fine.
“You know what? You win,” he said and Percy punched the air. “I know you’re not out doing quests if you’re at Taco Bell in the middle of the night,” he said. Percy laughed.
“In all fairness… you’re here too.”
“I’m an adult! I can get Taco Bell whenever I want,” Paul grumbled and shook his head. “What have you been doing?” he asked and held up a finger. “When you’re not with Annabeth,” he rectified. Percy put a hand to his chest, clearly affronted.
“I’m not ever with Annabeth!”
“Yeah, okay, let’s pretend that’s true-”
“Whatever, Paul,” Percy mumbled and sighed. “Honestly?” He gave a bashful shrug. “Um, well… I kind of go to all the schools that kicked me out growing up and… maybe blow up their bathrooms?”
Paul processed that. “You… what’s with that then?” He nodded towards the backpack. Percy followed his eyes and nodded.
“Yeah, sometimes I spray paint them messages too. The water bottles are actually all saltwater I grabbed last time I went to the beach. That’s just in case I get in trouble. Freshwater is harder for me to manipulate,” he explained. Ah. That made sense. He took a bite of his taco.
Percy waited. Paul kept eating.
“…are you upset with me?” he asked. Paul glanced up at him.
“What?”
“Are you mad?” Percy repeated, looking a little distressed by the idea. “I know it… well, it probably isn’t very mature and I should know better – I do know better – and I thought about telling you sooner, but it was kind of fun to keep messing with you and also I was worried you would be upset I was destroying school property, but a lot of those schools actually really suck and-”
“Percy,” Paul interrupted and watched Percy fall completely silent. “If I had the godly power of water, I would use it to blow up Yancy Academy’s bathrooms too,” he said. Percy’s mouth opened and closed a few times – absolutely bewildered. “I mean, they’re a total snob of a school. All their funds are from rich parents, so they only cater to what they want in the curriculum-”
Percy’s smile cut him off. It was oddly fond.
“In that case, if you ever want to join me, then send in an application,” he said and Paul laughed.
“I see the Sally in you much more clearly now,” he said and Percy seemed to brighten at the comparison. It quickly morphed into something else as he bit his lip, watching Paul with uncertain eyes.
“I’m sorry,” he said, putting his food down. “I know I’m… a lot and probably a hefty price to be with my mom-”
“What?” Paul asked, taken aback. Percy picked at his food, not meeting his eyes. “Percy, I like you,” he said – in case this somehow was unclear. He got a weak smile in return.
“Yeah, I know, but that doesn’t change the fact that I’ve added a lot of drama to your life. You probably won’t get to have it as easy as you should.”
Paul could not believe this. He reached over to put a hand on Percy’s arm. He stiffened at the action slightly before glancing up at him.
“If I had wanted easy, then I wouldn’t have bothered proposing,” he said and then frowned at him. “I never just wanted your mom to be my family. You were included in that too. From the beginning.”
Percy’s eyes searched him – clearly looking for whatever sign he could find that Paul was lying to him. He must not have found any because he gave a weak smile.
“And you’re not mad about the secret bathroom thing?” he asked. Paul shook his head.
“I mean, I’ll be honest, I know we made it this back-and-forth routine, but it was kind of nice to know you were doing some normal teenage stuff instead of just saving the world every week,” he said and then reconsidered. “Some semi-normal teenage stuff,” he corrected himself. Percy rolled his eyes. “Does your mom know?” He asked, thinking back to Sally’s previous lighthearted performance.
“Her idea,” he said and then raised his hands. “Well, she never outright said it. It was more of a ‘how funny would it be if this happened’ kind of thing, but I got the hint,” he grinned. Paul nodded. Yep. Sounded about right.
“How many schools do you have left?”
“Four,” Percy shrugged and Paul nodded. Good to know. Paul wondered if he would continue to sneak out after the four schools had been completed.
Unfortunately, he never got a chance to find out. Sneaking around was a little hard to do when you go missing from the face of the Earth with absolutely no explanation. Paul found himself desperately missing Percy climbing through the window every morning with ridiculous stories on what quest he was doing. They eventually got him back, but… something had changed. Sally said he just needed time after the war. The second one. Because there was now a second war. Against giants.
Paul would never adjust completely to this life, would he?
Of course, it didn’t appear that his stepson casually walking from the fire escape into their kitchen wasn’t completely out of the question since Paul walked in one morning to find him there… which was a little troublesome given that he was visiting the Romans (yes, the Romans were now a thing too) in California.
“Hey, you’re back early. Did something happen?” Paul asked warily as he shut the door. Percy blinked at him, head tilted slightly in his direction as his eyes slowly seemed to dissect him up and down. “Are you okay?” he asked, trying to be as gentle as possible while not being coddling. Percy hated being coddled.
“We’ve met before, haven’t we?” he asked. Paul narrowed his eyes.
“That isn’t funny post-memory wipe, kid,” Paul told him flatly and Percy smiled at the ground. “You’re not pretending to be Poseidon again, are you?”
Percy laughed. ”Do I do that often?”
“Enough times that you should know I won’t fall for it,” Paul told him flatly. Percy grinned. Wait. Paul did a double-take. That… wasn’t really Percy’s smile. Then again, the room was full of shadows, so he didn’t make much of it as he reached into the fridge and grabbed two sodas. He held one out to Percy. Slowly, he took it.
“Blue?”
“Yeah, I don’t know how your mom found it,” Paul chuckled and looked Percy up and down. He seemed… off. Also, he did just appear in the apartment at three in the morning when he was supposed to be in California. “How are you doing?” He asked. Percy glanced at him as he took a sip of the soda.
“How do you think I’m doing?”
Well. Paul hadn’t been expecting that. He frowned, considering the question in between sips of soda before sighing.
“You’ve been a little out of it. That makes given everything that has happened. I like to think you’re doing a little better though,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck. Then laughed. “Maybe it’s good to find you sneaking into the apartment again. Reminds me of when you were fifteen,” he grinned and looked at where Percy was watching him thoughtfully. “You seem…” Paul began, trying to put his finger on it. There was something different. His nose? Chin? Percy’s cheekbones weren’t usually that prominent, were they? It was strange. He looked the same but Paul was having a harder time than usual picking out the Sally in him. “You’ll be okay,” he decided. That much Paul knew.
“I hope you’re right,” Percy murmured and tapped his fingers on the soda can. “You seem like a good man, Paul.”
Paul stared.
“It… have you just recently decided this?” he asked, a little affronted. Percy’s smile grew. “Better late than never, I guess,” he grumbled and gave Percy a playful glare. “I just thought we bonded.”
“Hm.”
Oh, whatever. He was pretty sure Percy was messing with him anyways. Percy apparently was in a strange sort of mood. Paul watched as he placed the can of soda down to turn and face him a bit more fully.
“Do you ever know what Sally did with the Medusa head?”
Paul paused. Part of him registered that Percy had just called his mom ‘Sally’ but he was also caught on the whole ‘Medusa head’ thing. It was an alarming thing to hear. He knew Percy killed Medusa, of course… back when he was freaking twelve.
“You know, after she killed her first husband with it?” Percy tacked on. Paul opened his mouth, ah. Right. Sally had hesitantly told him that she had ‘taken care’ of her first husband via mythology related means, but Paul had told her she didn’t owe him any explanation. He supposed that was how she did it.
Wait. Her sculpture. Could it be…?
Paul wanted to be horrified, but honestly, he was a little impressed.
“I don’t know,” he admitted and then looked at Percy with consideration. “Why? Do you need it?” he asked. Percy’s eyes brightened – almost literally, it felt like. Even in the darkness of the room, he could see the green in them perfectly. Probably some demigod mojo.
“You have a good sense of loyalty,” Percy decided. Paul rolled his eyes. He was really laying on the compliments today, wasn’t he? “Be sure to take good care of them. I am rather… fond of these two,” he said with a nod towards a picture on the table. Paul followed his eyes to a framed picture of a much younger Sally holding baby Percy. Paul opened his mouth to respond when a knock came from the front door.
“Um, hold that thought-” he said and jumped a little when he heard the click of the front door lock. Sally was in bed. Who else had a key?
“Paul?”
…what the Hell? Paul slowly turned towards the direction of Percy’s voice, feeling very much like a victim in a horror movie. He bit his tongue and then turned back to not-Percy in front of him. Only not-Percy wasn’t there. Not-Percy was gone. Paul closed his eyes.
He did not deserve this.
“Uh, Paul? You good?” Percy asked, shuffling through the front door with a bag slung over his shoulder. Paul turned to him and sighed. “Oh. I didn’t mean to just intru-”
“This is your apartment as much as mine,” Paul reassured him immediately. “No, I just… something else. I was sighing at something else,” he grumbled and glared at the place not-Percy had stood. He turned back to where his stepson was actually looking at him with curious eyes.
“Oh… thank you?” Percy said and then frowned at him. “Are you okay?”
Paul walked over and put a hand on either side of his shoulders.
“You know I love you, right?” he asked and Percy blinked.
“Um, I mean, sure…? Oh my gods, are you dying?” he asked suddenly, looking downright horrified. “Shi- no. Don’t even worry. I’m pretty sure Apollo could help find a cure if we hurry-”
“I’m not dying,” Paul snorted and shook his head. “Just thought you should know.”
Percy looked at him for a minute. Yeah, he could see it now. Sally’s features were all so subtle within Poseidon’s bold traits, but they were in Percy all the same.
“I love you too,” he said, looking half-pleased and half-embarrassed. “What are you doing up?”
Paul considered. Then gave Percy a bright smile.
“Goode kicked you out, right?” Percy’s face fell. Paul didn’t blame him. It was kind of bullshit that a child went missing for a year and a school wouldn’t accept him back. Missing. As if that was his fault. Paul would have quit on the spot if Percy hadn’t stopped him. “Well, I have a key to get inside and they have plenty of bathrooms.”
Paul thought he might have killed the kid for a second. Percy went completely still before a wary shadow crossed his face and then a familiar smile that Paul hadn’t seen often these past few weeks.
“You know,” Percy said and took out spray paint from… did he just have that? “I was just thinking it was about time I took you on a godly quest.”
By the end of the night, Paul got the title of honorary demigod.