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It was now nightfall on the day the tribes visited Heart to celebrate Kumandra. The atmosphere of the palace's dining hall was warm with chatter and children playing while the adults ate and conversed. It felt… safe; a feeling everyone had gotten unaccustomed and estranged to. Maybe that was the reason there was an anxious tension in the air, or maybe it was the fact that the tribes were not used to mingling with one another.
Or maybe, the tension was all in Namaari's head. Sure, everything ended up okay and there was a happy ending, but that didn't negate the feelings of guilt chewing at the Fang warrior. The whole reason that the Druun came back was virtually her fault; the pain that all these families had went through, losing parents, spouses, children. She was to blame.
She regretted betraying Raya that day six years ago the moment the other tribes had entered the room of dragon gem. Seeing the hate it brought amongst them all because of a silly jewel? She knew she had messed up.
And the hurt in Raya's eyes when she realized someone she had trusted, even considered to be a friend, had stabbed her in the back? That look had haunted Namaari for ages, feeding into her pool of guilt. She could see in Raya's eyes then; the sudden hardening of her heart, the start of her building her walls, keeping her trust hidden deeply from anyone's grasp.
And despite how much it had haunted Namaari, she betrayed Raya again.
She still doesn't know why she did it. As she had raised her crossbow and aimed it at Raya, she fought against herself. She desperately wanted Raya to trust her, and in turn she wanted to trust Raya, to help her. But regardless of her protests, she loaded the crossbow anyway.
And there it was again.
The walls Raya had built so many years ago had been cracked in that moment; sunlight shone through the cracks in the barrier that was so desperately trying to block anyone from getting close to her. But in that moment that Raya heard the cock of the crossbow, her eyes darted to Namaari, to the weapon in her hand. She hardened, the walls repairing their cracks, caging in her trust once more.
This time it seemed different though. They seemed to build themselves up hesitantly. Almost as if Raya had wanted to trust Namaari too.
Raya.
The guilt of all the pain she had caused her, had caused for everyone, weighed on her shoulders, dampening the friendly atmosphere of the party. She sulked away from the main gathering, leaning on a pillar as she wallowed in her thoughts. Her mother was talking to Chief Benja, though from this distance she couldn't make out their words. Perhaps her mother, like her, was feeling guilty about everything that Fang has caused and was trying to make amends however she could. Though Namaari had to admit, if forgiveness wasn't necessary for her or her tribe's survival, her mother wouldn't so earnestly strive for it, however guilty she may feel.
That's one place where Namaari differed from her mother.
She tried to release herself from being trapped in her depressive thoughts by glancing around the room, studying the people. She smiled thinly at the sight of children of the different tribes playing together, the barriers of the tribes' previous rivalries broken, or maybe even unbeknownst, to them.
During her scan of the room, however, she noticed that a certain someone was missing. How she picked out so quickly that Raya was not in attendance when the room was crowded with people, Namaari wasn't sure, but this development was the last nudge she needed to go meet with the princess.
She had caused Raya so much hardship, broken her trust multiple times.
The least Namaari could do was apologize.
Stopping to ask a guardsman about the whereabouts of the princess, she learned that Raya had retired to her quarters. Trudging through the halls, Namaari was suddenly not sure she wanted to go through with this. Well, she did want to apologize; Not only would the guilt drive her insane, but she felt a want to be close to Raya again, as they were for those mere few hours when the first met as children. An apology would be a good way to start building that relationship.
But perhaps doing so on the day Raya was reunited with her father, the first day she could take a rest from traveling or being on the run, was a bad idea.
By the time she realized this, Namaari was already at the door to Raya's quarters.
“No turning back now, I guess.” She muttered to herself. She breathed deeply as she rapped her knuckles against the princess’s door.
“Yes?” She heard Raya call from within.
“It's Namaari.” The Fang princess replied.
It was silent for a moment; The Fang princess anxiously awaited Raya's response.
“Come in,”
Namaari pushed the doors open cautiously to see Raya sitting at the edge of her bed.
“Hi,” Namaari waved awkwardly. Just because Raya had trusted her with the dragon gem, didn't mean that suddenly all was well between them and that their years of strife were forgotten.
“Hey,” Raya smiled.
Not knowing what to do, Namaari stood at the doors entrance until Raya patted the bed next to her, inviting Namaari to sit.
“What's up? Was the party too much for you?” Raya teased.
“I should ask you the same thing,” Namaari smirked. “Seeing as you're the one who left the party first. I was just coming to check up on you.”
“Oh, so you did miss me,” Raya quipped, recalling their exchange in Tail. She gave one of her smirks combined with a quirked eyebrow; a look Namaari had always found irritating.
Now, she didn't consider it that at all.
Namaari rolled her eyes and shoved the girl. Raya laughed.
“You’re always making it about you, huh?” Namaari muttered, a grin forming at her lips despite herself. Suddenly, something shiny caught her eye. Namaari's gaze fell on a small tin resting on the bed. Next to it, a roll of bandages.
Namaari gently picked up the tin to inspect it.
“Healing salve?” she asked, returning her gaze to a now sheepish Raya.
“Uh, yeah,” Raya scratched the back of her neck.
“You're hurt?” Namaari asked, though as soon as she did, she realized it was a dumb thing to ask. “Ah,” was all she said, dismissing her question.
“Yeah,” Raya strained a smile. “You kicked my ass pretty badly back in Spine.”
“Can I see?” Namaari asked cautiously. Raya hesitated, not expecting the question. She met Namaari's gaze to find seriousness. Pain. A need to fix things she had hurt or broken.
Raya nodded slowly and lifted her top robes over her head, leaving her torso bare except for her chest bindings.
Namaari winced at the many splashes of deep purple and green that covered Raya's back and ribs; some even stained with blood. Many, if not all, of them caused by Namaari's own kicks and blows she had dealt in their fights at Spine and Fang.
And these were just the physical injuries she had caused.
“Raya-" Namaari faltered, her mouth dry. What was she supposed to say? Any words she thought of died before they reached her tongue.
“I'll be fine,” Raya assured, trying to hide a wince as she took a breath.
“Let me help you,” Namaari raised her gaze to meet Raya's. “Please,”
Raya stared at her, seeing the silent plea in Namaari's eyes begging to at least start to make things right between them.
“I…Okay,”
Raya stood, albeit somewhat painfully, to grab a wet rag that lay on her dresser. She returned to the bed and pressed it into Namaari's hand. “You can help me.
Namaari smiled. “Thank you,”
The Fang warrior dabbed the rag gently on all the injuries that had broken the skin, clearing away any blood the was present; Raya winced whenever it made contact.
“Didn't think you'd be cleaning the wounds of your ex-enemy at Kumandra's first party, did you?” Raya joked, an attempt to mask her pain.
Namaari reached for the tin and salve and opened it, spreading the ointment onto her hands.
“I didn't think there would be a Kumandra to have a party in in the first place.” She deadpanned.
Raya relaxed as Namaari began to massage the ointment onto her injuries, her skin immediately being relieved from the pain. There was also a strange tingling feeling wherever Namaari's fingers met her bare skin, but Raya waved it off as being a reaction to an ingredient in the salve. “I guess I'm full of surprises.” She smirked.
Namaari scoffed with a smile. “You sure are.” She nudged Raya, directing her to turn so that she could spread the salve on her back. Raya obliged.
“So, why did you want to see me? Other than you missing me, of course.” She added jokingly.
Namaari’s smile dropped into a frown. Having finished spreading the salve onto Raya's back, she wiped the remaining ointment from her hands on the clean part of the towel.
Raya turned towards Namaari, sensing she had something important to say.
Namaari stared at her own hands folded in her lap, searching for the right words to begin with.
“I know I caused everyone a lot of pain. I caused you a lot of pain.” She started slowly. “I broke the dragon gem. I broke your trust, and even then, you gave me another chance. And then I messed up that chance and broke your trust again.” Namaari took a deep breath, meeting Raya's eyes.
“I guess what I'm trying to say is that… I'm sorry, Raya; for everything. I want to make things right. Fix this…fix us.”
Namaari couldn't exactly discern the look the Heart princess was giving her. Pain at the remembrance of her betrayal, but mostly a type of happiness, pride, appreciation that Namaari was trying to make things right.
Raya reached for the roll of bandages.
“You know,” She started. “I was angry at for so long. For the breaking of the gem, stabbing my back. But I think I just wanted someone to blame. Someone to be angry at so that I didn't have to think about the pain of your betrayal, of losing my ba, or about my own mistakes that led to all this.” She paused, beginning to unroll to bandages in her hand. “It wasn't all your fault; I had a part in this too. Besides, if I was in your situation back when you took the gem, I would have probably done the same. And in the end, when I gave you my trust with the safety of the world… you didn't break it.”
Raya handed the bandages to Namaari, meeting her eyes.
“I accept your apology, Namaari,” She smiled softly.
Namaari takes the bandages. She's not sure exactly how to respond, so instead she does what she feels is right: She smiled back. A bug, genuine smile that crinkles the corners of her eyes.
“Thank you,”
As she wrapped the bandages around Raya's injuries, Namaari spoke again.
“So maybe… we could work towards being friends again?” She asked. It was a stupid hope, but something Namaari desperately wished for nonetheless. (Actually, she hoped that they could be more than friends, but baby steps. Now was not the time)
“Yeah,” Raya agreed. “I'd like that.”
Namaari grinned as she finished bandaging the princess.
“All done,” she announced.
“Good,” Raya grinned, getting up from the bed. “I have something I want to give you.”
Namaari raised an eyebrow as Raya rummaged through her bag.
“Ha! Here it is,” She strode back to Namaari. “Open your hands.”
Namaari did as she was told. Raya brought up one of her hands to cup the bottom of Namaari's (a touch that made Namaari's skin tingle), supporting it as Raya dropped the contents of her other hand into the Fang princess’s palms.
Namaari retracted her hands, peering at the trinket Raya had given her.
“The Sisu necklace,” Namaari muttered incredulously. “I thought it was lost in Fang's rubble forever.”
“Nope!” Raya declared, sitting beside Namaari once more. “I found it on the ground. I'm just cool like that.”
Namaari snickered and shouldered the girl.
Raya laughed. “Anyways, I wanted to give it back to you. Think of it as a token declaring the start of our new, non-enemy relationship.”
Namaari smiled, running her thumb against the cool metal of the dragon pendant.
“Gifting me something that was originally mine? You're cheap for a princess,” Namaari teased.
Raya stared at her, trying to seem unamused but the quirks at the corners of her lips said otherwise.
Namaari laughed. “But really, thank you,”
Raya stopped her act, allowing her smile to spread, lighting up her beautiful face.
“You're welcome,”
“Do you want to head back to the party?” Namaari asked.
“Nah,” Raya leaned back, letting herself lay on her bed, her arms behind her head acting as a pillow. “I've had enough people for one night. To be honest, I'm exhausted.”
“Ah,” Namaari nodded. “I'll leave you then,” She stood up to leave before she was interrupted.
“You could stay if you'd like.” Raya offered. She tried to be nonchalant about it but Namaari felt as if the princess would actually rather that she'd stay.
“What, do I not count as ‘people' to you?” Namaari teased, despite the fact that she wanted to stay with Raya without protest.
Raya rolled her eyes, a smile at her lips. “I'm saying I enjoy your company, dep la.”
“Ah, what an honor bestowed upon me by the princess.” Namaari gave an exaggerated bow before laughing and dropping the act, ignoring the fact that the way Raya had said that pet name of theirs made her heart beat faster.
She laid beside Raya, the first time in weeks, maybe even years, that she had actually, truly rested without the weight. Namaari released a deep breath she wasn't even aware she had been holding; stress and guilt leaving her body and being replaced by contentment. She closed her eyes.
“I like your company too, dep la,”