Chapter Text
Peter smiled as he trotted down the steps of his school. The week was going great for him. His classes seemed like a breeze but were still interesting. His grades had improved after a slight dip, and he’d even beat out a few of his classmates for an internship this summer. Getting paid (pennies) to be a lab assistant at one of the most advanced labs in the state? Practically a dream come true for Peter, not to mention how good it would look for his college applications. It was still a few months away, but Peter felt like it was only days.
All in all, a fantastic week for Peter, which was why his luck going south didn’t surprise him. He and May joked around about Parker Luck for a reason. He wasn’t even lucky enough for it to be Flash deciding to take him down a peg. Flash was certainly the loudest of Peter’s bullies, but he was kind enough to keep it to simple pushing and verbal assaults. Getting called variations of Puny and Penis Parker got old after a while.
Peter’s worst bullies, Mike and Jacob, seemed to enjoy using him as a punching bag. Probably because Peter’s a nerd or an easy target or… well, actually Peter knew it was due to him telling them to fuck off when they wouldn’t leave Ned alone. Upside: they hadn’t tried to lay into Ned since. Downside: they decided to make Peter pay for the slight he’d made Freshman year, and likely would continue to make him pay until they graduated.
The worst part of the bullying was the two getting Peter after school. In school there was a chance someone would intervene or tell a teacher. Grabbing him and shoving him into an alley? Well, that meant they could lay into him until they got bored.
At least if Peter put up with it, kept his head down, and just waited for them to get bored, no one else would get hurt. Spider-Man could handle a beating. Spider-Man couldn’t afford to reveal his identity by fighting back. He hadn’t been able to fight back before the spider bite. Fighting now would only look suspicious.
Peter didn’t bother resisting getting shoved into the cold brick wall. The two loomed over him, each with sharp smirks on their faces.
Of course, while Peter would take the beating, that didn’t mean he wasn’t going to try talking it out. “F- fancy meeting you guys here… If we could just do this another time that’d be great cause I actually-” Peter cut himself off when one of them punched him to the face. Grunting, Peter tried to keep up his casual tone. “Or- or not I guess.”
“We heard this great rumor the other day, something about you being a fucking fag and we figured we’d be kind enough to kick the gay out of you,” Mike said, all too happy at the prospect of an excuse to punch Peter again.
Jacob’s smirk only got crueler. “Guess Penis Parker was a little too on the nose, huh?”
Peter’s face twisted with anger. He didn’t care so much about being insulted, but the homophobic slurs? It hit too close to hearing people call his uncle antisemitic slurs.
The anger on Peter’s face only made Jacob mock him. “Aw are you gonna cry Parker? We know you’re too much of a pussy to do anything, so go ahead and cry. Not like you could get more pathetic.”
“Oooh hoo hoo, I wouldn’t go around calling people pathetic when you need two big jocks to handle one little nerd,” mocked a red and black figure who dropped from above. The crunch of the man’s ankle’s made Peter wince.
Once Peter actually looked over at the guy, Peter quickly recognized him. Deadpool, great, awesome, as if the situation couldn’t get any worse. All Peter could hope was that the mercenary never learned his alter ego’s identity because he’d surely become a laughingstock among the vigilante and powered community. The amazing Spider-Man incapable of handling a couple teenagers. Great. Well, at least that was Peter’s top worry until he remembered rumors about Deadpool’s soft spot for kids and volatile nature. Peter didn’t like Jacob or Mike but witnessing their murder would be more than a little traumatic.
“Seriously, did you go to the Stephen King school for bullying?” Deadpool looked between the two as his question was met with blank stares. “Really? No one? Well, can’t account for taste. Anywhoozle, bullying isn’t cool. Imagine what Captain America would say! He’s got a powerful disappointment stare and a fantastic ass. Do drugs, be cool, stay in school! Wait- did I say that wrong, White? Yeah, yeah no. I’ll work on it. Don’t worry, I’ll get it right next time.”
Neither bully seemed to know how to react to Deadpool’s sudden appearance, but Mike managed to find his voice long enough to interrupt the tangent Deadpool was starting on. “Fuck off, faggot!” Apparently, Mike either had no sense of self preservation or didn’t have a clue on who Deadpool was.
It was impossible to tell through the mask, but Peter would have bet that the merc had a vicious grin on his face. His spider sense flaring up only made Peter certain of the fact.
Peter flinched when Deadpool suddenly moved. Deadpool didn’t touch him, instead grabbing Jacob by the collar and yanking him to the ground. With that done, the merc grabbed and slammed Mike into the wall opposite Peter. He planted a foot on Jacob’s chest to pin both boys.
Deadpool put his masked face into Mike’s face and practically growled, “See, I don’t do minors. I like to give them second chances and all that bullshit cause I was a nasty kid myself. Second chances, small blessings, be better, do better. All that shit. However, you two are testing my patience. I don’t like homophobic assholes. I don’t like bullies. I really, really hate fucks who think they can get away with anything.”
“Y- you’re insane! Let me go!” Mike looked a few seconds away from peeing himself.
“I am insane!” Deadpool sounded all too cheerful, especially as he muttered, “Are you insane like me, are you deranged like me, are you strange like me~ Nope! You’re just a dick!” Deadpool punctuated this by pulling a handgun out and pointing it at Mike.
Jacob took the merc’s rambling and focus on Mike as an escape route and tried to wiggle his way out from under Deadpool’s foot. His attempt was met with a bullet shot down an inch from his face. Peter, still standing against the wall, flinched.
“Oh, sweet cheeks, honeybun you do not want to piss me off or the next one’s going in you. Like I said, I don’t do minors- actually you know saying that a second time just makes me realize how wrong it sounds. I don’t do minors in any way but maybe… Hm. I could just say I don’t kill minors, but that doesn’t sound as nice. Back to the matter at hand though, quit squirming because squirmy little bugs get squished and if you behave, I might not stab you or maybe I will stab you. Yellow thinks I should, but White is still focused on the not doing minors thing. Decisions, decisions…” Deadpool tapped his chin with his gun in thought.
With weapons drawn, Peter finally found his voice. His spider sense didn’t protest as Peter moved closer to the man. “Uh Mr-” What the heck was the proper address for the merc? “Mr. Deadpool, please don’t hurt anyone?” The request sounded weak even to Peter, but Peter slowly inched forward until he could put a hand on the one holding Jacob to the wall.
Deadpool’s head whipped over to look at the hand on his arm before squinting at Peter, as if he hadn’t realized the teen was there. After getting a look at Peter, Deadpool took his arm off Jacob and pinched Peter’s cheek. “Oh em gee aren’t you just adorkable! The little bambi eyes and Mr. Deadpool! Mr. Deadpool! Just wait till I tell Weasel or Red about you. Just the definition of jailbait! But no can doozles! Can’t flash those cute little puppy eyes and get whatever you want. Gotta teach ‘em young that you can’t go around calling people names so why don’t you just prance on out of here? Go find some woodland creatures to befriend.” Deadpool made a little shooing motion with his free hand.
Peter got the feeling that, while Deadpool wouldn’t kill the others, they were going to get hurt once Peter left. Sure, he really didn’t like Mike or Jacob. Sure, he didn’t really want to do them any favors with his eye still throbbing from the earlier punch. However, Peter didn’t want their pain on his subconscious. He really got the feeling that this instance would be more than enough to dissuade anymore bullying attempts.
Which was what led to Peter standing up to a mentally unstable mercenary. “No.”
See, not many people were brave enough to tell Deadpool no. In fact, Deadpool could probably count the number of people on one hand. Some random teenager telling him no, especially when that no came with protecting his own bullies? Suffice to say, Peter had Deadpool’s full undivided attention. The merc released both bullies to step into Peter’s space and loom over the teenager.
There was a dangerous edge to Deadpool’s voice as he asked, “No?”
Peter swallowed hard, eyes flicking over to Jacob and Mike who were quietly getting up to book it as far away from the merc as possible. “Uh yeah- I mean no. I’m not l- leaving so you can hurt them. It’s- They’re jerks, but an eye for an eye and all, you know? So just let them go.” He hated how his voice shook and his message jumbled, but he tried to look serious. His spider sense was surprisingly quiet.
Tilting his head, Deadpool didn’t even look behind him as the bullies ran from the alley. “So, let me get this straight, you won’t fight against the people who gave you a nasty shiner, but you’ll stand up to me for threatening to hurt the two who were ready to kick the shit out of you? And you actually know who I am, unlike tweedle dee and tweedle dum?”
Peter didn’t answer, but matched Deadpool’s gaze. Mike and Jacob had already gotten away, and his spider sense remaining silent gave Peter confidence. This confidence didn’t protect him from a yelp of surprise when he was swept up into a hug.
“Oh, I’m keeping you. Just a little bambi motherfucker. You could topple empires with those baby browns. You can’t go to the dark side ever, never ever. The universe wouldn’t stand a chance. A little Disney princess gone rogue! Oh, White you’re right, if he did go dark side we could take over the world with him!” Deadpool addressed Peter again, “Red would like you- well, Red would’ve beat the shit out of those two and given you a lecture about fighting back and not protecting worthless scum, but he’d like you! I gotta introduce you two sometime. You could talk him into letting us have a team name! He’s got to be able to sense puppy dog eyes and innocent souls, but first! First, food! Gotta butter you up before I use your powers for evil. Come on kid, it’s Taco Tuesday!”
“Uh… it’s Friday?” Peter felt dizzy from the word vomit and settled for responding to the end of whatever Deadpool had been saying.
“It’s Tuesday somewhere!”
And that was how Peter found himself having tacos with Deadpool.
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Peter would argue that his current situation wasn’t his fault. Going to Hell’s Kitchen at sunset to take some pictures was a bad idea. He really should’ve brought his suit with him and swung to and from Hell’s Kitchen. Walking around one of the most dangerous parts of town at night was definitely a bad idea. He’d barely gotten out last Friday with just a black eye from his bullies. Tempting fate to give him worst only two days later? Maybe it was the thought that he could handle things if they got bad. He was Spider-Man.
Though, being Spider-Man was part of why he’d left the suit at home. He’d never run into Daredevil in costume because he’d never been to Hell’s Kitchen in costume. However, Peter had heard plenty of rumors about Daredevil being territorial. Daredevil was scarier to Peter than the potential of getting mugged as Peter. Peter needed to sort his priorities out.
At least if he got stabbed tonight, he’d a) get a free knife and b) die knowing he got some really good shots that would round out his class portfolio. Peter ignored the voice in his mind reminding him that his portfolio wouldn’t mean anything if he didn’t make it home. That voice sounded far too responsible for the levels of pure panic he was experiencing. Maybe internally he could channel his alter ego and sound calm, but externally… oh externally it was a wonder he hadn’t dropped his camera with how his hands shook.
“H- hey I- I’ve got like five dollars in my wallet and you’d maybe get ten for my camera just… you know-”
“Shut up! Empty your pockets and maybe I won’t stab you.” The mugger punctuated his sentence by jabbing his knife through the air, a mere inch away from Peter’s stomach.
Nervous laugh bubbled up out of Peter’s throat as he said, “You need to work on your negotiation skills, man.”
Peter shrunk back against the wall behind him when the mugger took a step forward. Maybe insulting the guy was a bad idea. No, no insulting the guy was definitely a bad idea. He couldn’t even blame Parker Luck for this. Here he was, mouthing off to a guy with a knife because he’d decided to wander around one of the most dangerous parts of New York because he’d wanted to get a few pictures of the city and he hadn’t had enough sense to do so as his alter ego who would’ve been one to stop the mugging not get mugged.
Sometimes Peter felt like he was asking for this kind of thing to happen. That was victim blaming though, and Peter wasn’t about blaming victims for things happening to them. Though, he was really really pissed off at himself. Maybe he could scream, and Daredevil would come. That was the local rumor. If you ever got into trouble in Hell’s Kitchen at night, just scream for the Devil and he would come save you. Somehow, Peter assumed randomly screaming would only get himself stabbed faster.
A soft ‘eep’ left Peter’s lips as he was drawn from his thoughts getting pushed into the wall by a hand on his throat.
“How’s this for negotiation? I’m gonna stab ya. then I’m gonna watch ya die and take all your shit. Not even the fucking Devil can help you now.” The mugger grinned, yellow teeth looking all the more sinister in the dim light. The point of his knife rested against Peter’s stomach.
“No- no yeah that’s uhhh a lot better. 10 out of 10 on the negotiation. Super clear on what you want now and I mean you know killing me isn’t really going to do anything for you other than get blood on your hands so maybe just don’t and you can have all of my stuff and let me go.” Peter started rambling, words spilling out of him. He could break the hold easily, probably even disarm the guy and knock him out for the police to find, but that would risk his identity, right? Right yeah, but also not getting stabbed sounded a lot more pressing than keeping his identity a secret.
Just as Peter prepared himself to break out of the hold, a dark figure dropped from above and ripped the mugger off Peter. Peter winced at the sound the mugger’s head made hitting the ground. That did not sound like a good time. As the dark figure laid into the mugger, Peter backed out of range of the fight. Fiddling with his camera, Peter debated up how much money he could get from Jameson for selling a clean picture of Daredevil. Peter remembered hearing a rumor about Daredevil hating anyone getting his picture and decided, for the sake of his camera and with his moral code, to not invade the vigilante’s privacy. Instead, Peter stood quietly watching.
The fight lasted for mere seconds before the mugger laid on the ground unmoving, and Daredevil turned back to Peter. The vigilante tilted his head for a moment. Peter held his breath, hoping that the mugger was alive. He’d feel really bad about not stopping Daredevil from killing a man right in front of him. After a moment passed, the vigilante straightened up. It seemed he’d found whatever he was looking for and turned to face Peter.
Daredevil growled, “Next time try to not talk someone into stabbing you. Get out of here, kid. Go home.”
Peter didn’t need any more encouragement than that to jog back on the street and book it home. Suddenly, Peter understood all the rumors about Daredevil. Maybe one day they could meet again with him being Spider-Man. For now, Peter was just thankful that the vigilante had shown up in time to keep him from getting a stab wound to go with his still healing black eye.