Chapter Text
Izuku was four almost five when his life fell apart. Just a kid who barely understood what was happening. He had been so excited when he had turned four ready to get his quirk. Father and mother proudly claiming he would get one of their quirks and become a great hero. But as time went on Kacchan and all the other kids got their quirks and Izuku was left waiting and wondering how much longer it would be. His parents were wondering too.
Izuku’s fifth birthday was in two weeks. It was then his parents took him to the quirk specialist. The doctor informed him and his family that he was quirkless so carelessly, like the whole situation couldn't be less important to him. Casually leaning back in his chair as he crushed a child's dreams. His parents bid goodbye to the doctor and silently went home.
That night there were no comforting hugs. No, that would mean his parents still loved him and that was no longer the case. His father had packed and left screaming that that thing was not his child. Slamming the door in Izuku’s crying face when he pleaded for him not to leave. Izuku would never see Midoriya Hisashi ever again.
His mother screamed too that night. Screamed at her husband not to leave her with a worthless child. Screamed at Izuku when he wouldn't stop crying and yelling that all this was his fault. Soon when the noise became too much she slapped the small boy and then left to the nearest bar. Izuku was all alone that night, alone, shocked, and broken.
All that Izuku knew changed, his father was gone. His mother was absent from the house most of the time, either at work or at bars. When she was home she hardly looked at him unless she was beating him while saying not to call her mom. All his classmates including Kacchan now picked on him for being weak. For being a Deku. That was what people called him now even the teachers called him that name. It wouldn't be the only name.
Because Izuku despite all the pain still held on to the tiniest of hope. He studied thinking if he became the smartest at hero work he could still become a hero without a quirk. He analyzed everything he could about heroes and villains. Writing it all down in his analysis notebooks for the future. He wrote about his classmates too. This is what got him his other name.
“Hey Deku what are you doing? You keep staring at us and writing in that notebook.” The little girl in his second grade class said. Katsuki, Izuku stopped calling him Kacchan a while ago, immediately grabbed the book from his hands. Flipping through it the blond boy scoffed.
“What is this? Your writing notes about everyone in class? I didn't know you were such a stalker.” His face went white though when he came across his own page. “You've been stalking me too!? You freakshow! How do you know all this stuff about me? What are you, some kind of monster?!” Katsuki shouted before tearing up and burning the notebook.
After this incident Izuku was punished for causing the disturbance and he would be called a monster just as much as Deku from now on. Many of the kids were scared as to what Izuku could know about them. Inko would call him a monster too after being informed about Izuku’s “hobby” by the teachers. She was more violent than usual that night.
Even so Izuku kept at it. He stopped bringing his notebooks out in class and he kept studying even if the teachers never graded him fairly. He never spoke about his notebooks but everyone knew he was a monster who knows things he shouldn't and would treat him as such.
By the time Izuku was ten all the people around him fell into three categories. One, those who feared him as a potential villain and treated him as if he had already gone out and committed many crimes, most people in his neighborhood and many of his schoolmates were in this group. Two, those whose anger was stronger then their fear. Who made it their mission to defeat the evil monster who invaded their space. Katsuki and his followers, any type of authority figure at his school and his mother were in this group. Finally the third group, people who did not know about him and therefore could not be put into one of the other two groups.
The little girl was in the third group. Izuku didn't know her long enough to put her in one group or the other. But from the way she spoke he had been tempted to make a fourth group. But he ended up not doing it, she would stay in the third group.
He had met her at a festival. Katsuki and his backup had been tormenting him all night. Taking any joy he could have gotten from the festivities and crushing it. Izuku had finally broken down into tears and the boys had left with their victory. Insults and jeers left behind. Tears not showing any sign of stopping he sat down on a nearby bench unable to go home as Inko had “plans”. Head down he didn't notice the small girl come up to him until she spoke. Making him bring his head up with a start.
“My mommy says that it's good to cry when you're sad because it helps get the sadness out. But mommy doesn't know that bullies like to make you cry. It makes them happy. So here.” She handed him a mask that she had probably gotten at one of the booths. “If you wear this then you can get the sadness out without letting the bullies be happy that you cried.” And before he could say anything off she went to a boy who looked to be his age with purple hair. The pair then turned and left.
Izuku looked after them for a moment before looking at the mask. It was a white circle made of a sturdy white material that he couldn't identify. A simple black smiley face was the only decoration. Putting on the mask he found that while the mask was a little big on him he could still see out of it comfortably. And for the first time in several years the boy felt truly relaxed. The mask instead of hiding his tears stopped them.
After some time passed Izuku put the mask in his bag and went home. Knowing that if he wore the mask in front of Inko she would just get angry and believe he was actively trying to become a villain. But he would wear the mask when he was alone from then on. When he was having a bad day and needed a break, wearing it made him feel different like he wasn't the monster named Deku.
The mask and his analysis notebooks were his most treasured possessions. Izuku had both when he stood at the edge of the roof, fourteen was a short life for normal people but for a monster he guessed it was long overdue. The day had started out bad, when he had woken up a letter left on the coffee table was his only greeting. He knew what it was but didn't pick it up opting to wait and make believe that it wasn't there.
The walk to school was normal, heckling from passersby, a hero fight, Katsuki yelling at him to stop following him despite going to the same place and then school itself made the day worse. Being laughed at and insulted by everyone just because he still wanted to go to UA hurt emotionally. Katsuki burning him after class hurt physically. The other boy threatened him digging Izuku’s notebook out of his bag, blowing it up and throwing it out the window, as a show of what would happen if Izuku tried to attend UA.
The suggestion the blond boy said as he left, to take a swan dive off the roof was unexpected. It hadn't been the first time Izuku had been told to take his own life, he had been told by many others, Inko, strangers, students and the odd teacher, yeah. But for Katsuki that was the first time and that almost hurt more than the burns. Thinking that his ex-childhood friend was done with him and wanted him gone same as the others.
The walk home at first made Izuku think it was actually a good day. He saved his notebook from the fish pond it had fallen into and had been rescued from a villain by Allmight! The number one hero! He was finally able to ask someone who he believed would give him a good answer on whether or not he could be a hero. But no, his dreams of becoming a hero were “unrealistic” and even saving Katsuki from the villain that had attacked him earlier wouldn't change that.
That night at home the envelope still laid where it had been left that morning. Izuku picked it up and read.
“Goodbye you worthless monster, I am done with you. I am leaving to reunite with Hisashi, I fixed my relationship with him no thanks to you. I don't care what you do now but if you want anything good to come out of your life you might as well end it. But you probably won't do it just to spite me. Don't try and find us, we don't want you. Oh and also don't use our family name anymore we have no relation.”
Izuku was numb. He knew what the letter had been but seeing it made things real the whole day came back in a flash that had him crumbling to his knees shaking. Slowly looking around the room he didn't know what to do. After a while he got up and went to his room to put on his mask and for the first time it didn't make things better he still felt numb and shaky. Then as if he were on autopilot he grabbed his bag and dumped out all his school things and packed up his analysis notebooks and then left the house. He had no plan for where he was going.
He walked not paying attention to where he was going. After some time he stopped only then realizing where his feet had taken him. He was at the top of an abandoned building. Close to the edge as he was he could look out across the city through the eye holes in his mask. He looked down and saw no one. Good he would hate to accidentally land on some poor soul.
Looking back up he thought about all the different times he had heard about this sort of event. Should he take his shoes off? It seemed kind of pointless but he did so anyway setting them neatly aside. It was then he thought about a note. He didn't have a pen on him and even if he did the only paper he had was his notebooks. Still wanting to say something he decided to just speak aloud even if no one would know about it.
“I'm sorry everyone that you had to put up with me for all these years. To put up with the freaky, quirkless, useless, monster named Deku that I am. I’m sorry, all I really wanted to do was help but I guess I was just stupid thinking I could. Thanks for staying around this monster for so long… Goodbye.” He stepped to the edge and was about to end it all when a voice called out behind him.
“If you are a monster, I suppose that makes me a demon.”
Izuku turned and was shocked to see someone he logically never expected to meet. Leaning against the doorway to the roof breathing heavily was a small white creature in a neat suit. Why was Nezu the Principal of UA here?!?