Archive of Our Own

Desperate times call for desperate measures. At least that's what Dee told himself as he walked down the street toward the record shop. Garlic Shoot Records , to be more specific. Going to his Dad for help had been a complete failure and even he wasn't sure why that was. Sure, he knew his Dad liked music; it was his job after all. But he didn't think he'd be so anal about teaching him. Chords, clean sound, etc. Why couldn't he just teach him one simple song to play? It's not like Dee was aiming to be the next Jimi Hendrix or...hell, the next Glam Shvagenbagen. One song was all he wanted and yet Dad couldn't even do that much. But maybe that's Dee's fault. Maybe he just was not good enough for his Dad to even consider teaching. Because he was right, he was a failure of a musician and lacked any real talent. He couldn't even play Guitar Hero without Heavy absolutely destroying him. Why would his Dad waste any time with him?

Dee scoffed to himself at the thought before looking up at the building. It was faded and old in all the right ways; reminding him of the album cover for Sammy Hagar a bit. An album he had listened to in this very shop with Uncle Ches long ago. Dee had never seen a man more laid back and calm than him. The man didn't seem to have a care in the world or any hardships to worry about. Mama had pointed this out once and Ches merely shrugged and leaned back saying, " I've spent a long time caring, let me take a break! " Dee smirked. If anyone was going to teach him without any fuss, then it'd be Uncle Ches. If he could get him to say yes, though that had never really been a problem for Dee before. 

Stepping into the shop, the smell of weed and incense was pungent in the air. Before it made him want to puke, but now he took a deep breath and enjoyed the smell. It was fairly empty, though it usually was on Tuesdays. Only a few customers were inside with most of them flipping through the records and admiring the instruments on display. Dee looked down at the display case and noticed the signed Twisted Sister record was still there with an outrageous price tacked on. He chuckled at that. Ches had managed to get that record signed directly to Glam a couple years ago but his Dad had been too humble to take it, saying he should try to sell it first before he 'gave away' merchandise. Ches shrugged and agreed that if after five years no one bought it then it would be Dad's. It was year three now and it seemed no one wanted to pay $999,999,999 for it yet.

"Dee!" 

He looked up to see Ches coming from the back with a record in hand. "Hi Uncle Ches." he gave a slight wave.

"Give me a second, eh? Take a seat."

"Sure." Dee sat down at one of the spare chairs behind the counter and shrugged the guitar case off his shoulders, setting it to the side. He watched as Ches handed the record to the customer who soon brightened up and nodded eagerly. They quickly paid for the record before heading out with a big grin on their face. Looks like another satisfied customer. Ches always had a knack for helping others find music. Dad said it was his specialty.

After helping two other customer's check out he sighed and sat down, "How's it going, Dee?"

"The usual. And you?"

"I'm doing g- Oh, what do we have here?" he pointed behind him with a grin, "Someone learning the guitar now? About time, about time."

Dee grimaced, "Well, kind of." he opened the case and pulled out the worn guitar, "I'm trying to but...I'm terrible,"

"Oh?"

"I tried to get Dad to teach me a song but...eh…it didn't go well."

Ches chuckled, "Your Dad is an...intense teacher. But I don't see why he wouldn't be patient with you."

"Well, I'm not a natural. I think I just frustrated him more than anything."

"But neither was Glam."

"Huh?"

"Nah, nah. He worked hard to get as well versed in music as he is. Though I guess he is lucky, he does have 'perfect pitch' to help him out." he snorted to himself, most likely laughing at an inside joke. "How far did you two get?"

"...two minutes." Ches raised a brow and Dee sighed, "Look, Uncle Ches. I don't… really want to learn to play the guitar I just-"

"Want to learn how to play songs?"

"Yes! Yes, exactly. Just one. Maybe two."

Ches stared at him before laughing, "Ahhh, now I can see why Glam was so upset." he shook his head, "You don't know how many people walk in here wanting to get a guitar just to play this or that for looks. But it's never as easy as they think." he looked back at him, "Not so easy on the fingers, is it?"

"No…" he glanced down at his fingertips that were sore from his useless picking. "I just want to learn a song. I don't care about notes or anything like that. So...I was wondering if you could teach me something simple?"

Letting out a heavy sigh, Ches leaned back in his chair and propped his feet onto the counter. "Your Dad will be pissed if he finds out…"

"Please?" Dee said, giving him a desperate look, "I'll learn the specifics later, I promise. I just...need to play soon ."

Ches stared at him for a moment and Dee could have swore he saw something flicker across his expression that seemed almost...tender? But it was quickly replaced with a shit eating grin, "Whos' the girl?"

"Huh?"

"Who's the girl who you want to impress?" Dee grimaced and Ches laughed, "Come on, if you want me to help you gotta give me names." 

"...Lif. Her name's Lif. She's this girl I met a while ago and- I just...want to play something for her." Wow it does sound cringy now that he thinks about it. But he's already made up his mind-no going back now. "She's a pianist, I just want to impress her."

"Oooh, falling for those classic goth girls huh?"

"Uncle Ches!" Dee blushed harder and frowned.

"Oh young love." Ches snickered, grin softening some. "You really like her?"

"I don't know, I guess! She's...cute." 

Ches snorted and looked away, seeming lost in thought for a bit before he nodded, "How long you got till you need to play?"

"A week. She comes back from her aunt's place by then."

"Surprise gift huh?...Alright, fine. I'll teach you a song or two."

Dee grinned, "Really?"

"Turn the sign to 'closed', pull the blinds and then meet me in the back. And leave that guitar there. You're going to need a real guitar for this one." he got up and stretched before going to the back. 

Dee nodded and set the guitar aside before running to the store front. A customer was walking through the door but Dee quickly shoved him back out. He locked the door and turned the sign around, "Closed early!" he yelled with a glare before pulling down all the blinds. He checked to make sure everything was secure before running to the back where Ches was waiting for him. "All done."

He laughed, "Alright, alright. For starters, what guitar do you want?"

"What do you mean?"

"If you're gunna play, you gotta find one that fits you, ya know? One that you feel a connection with. Like this baby right here." he touched the red, worn out guitar next to him, "She's my first love, we’ve been through hell together" he sighed happily as he patted the instrument, "Great memories with this one. Now you gotta find one that's gunna stick with you and by your first love."

"...But, these are for sale, right?"

"Ah, don't worry about it. Consider it an early birthday gift."

Dee seemed hesitant though eventually walked around the backroom where tons of guitars were lined up against the wall. He frowned as he saw a yellow one and was reminded again of Dad and his scornful look. Though he pushed the thought aside and continued looking. What he was looking for, he wasn't sure. As musically adept as his father was, he never really bothered to learn the specifics minus whatever his Dad info loaded on him when he was a kid. Dee honestly couldn't tell what made a guitar special or better than the other. Only things he knew were names, though couldn't tell much beyond that. But soon enough one caught his eye. He stopped in front of a white and black one with ornate decoration on the pickguard. 

"A Gibson Montana White Dove." Ches walked up behind him, "Good taste, Dee."

"Gibson...?"

"Yup. Got a hold of it a couple years back from an old fan." he plucked it from the wall, "This the one huh?"

"But isn’t it expensive?"

"It's a birthday gift." he patted his shoulder, "Besides if you're gunna learn you gotta learn in style, yeah?" he laughed, "Just don't let your Dad see it or he'll get on my ass about it. He's not a fan of how I do business you know."

Dee hesitated but smiled, "Thanks, Uncle Ches." 

"Anything for my nephew. Now come on, let's get her tuned and ready to play. We'll start with something easy that'll definitely make her think you know what you're doing." Ches tuned the guitar for Dee, "Hopefully." Dee scoffed in annoyance and Ches laughed, "Just kidding, you got this." he handed it to him. "Now how much did your Dad teach you?"

For the next few days Dee would stop by Uncle Ches' shop and learn to play. Dee was right that Ches was far more laid back than his Dad when it came to teaching. Any mistakes or frustrations were met with a smile and patient words of encouragement following right after. Not that he wasn't teased but Ches always found a way to make it more sentimental than brutal. And if Dee ever did get worked up Ches would suggest a break and they'd spend a few minutes talking or Ches would light up a joint and Dee would sit back and just enjoy the smell. (Ches wouldn’t let him smoke just yet though. Then Dad would really kill them both.)

So far he had managed to play the song correctly, albeit slowly. But he was determined and would now sneak out every night to practice. Usually he'd even go to Uncle Ches' shop and play downstairs while Ches slept at the flat uptop. He said he didn't mind the noise, reminding him that he used to take naps behind the stage back when they were on the road. Even if he didn't know the proper terms he was slowly beginning to recognize things as he got a hold of it. He still didn't sound smooth, but he was determined to at least play this one song well before Lif got back. 

Dee gave a heavy sigh as he fell back on to his bed and looked at his hand. The tips of his fingers were slowly becoming calloused and his nails were chipped from his efforts. He scoffed but smiled slightly. He really was getting the hang of this…But despite the optimism he felt an anxiousness in his chest. There was something...missing. Something didn't sit right during his performance. As if he was missing some sort of last bit of flare. He asked Heavy about it and had even played for him but the other couldn't tell him much. As gifted as Heavy was, he wasn't trained to offer any real help. Outside of compliments at least. Damn. 

Looking out the window, he noticed it was already nightfall. He had taken a nap after dinner and woke up when everyone had already gone to bed. He supposed he should do the same but tomorrow Lif came back and even if he could play the song decently it wasn't enough. He wanted to play it right . Dee glanced at the time and nibbled on his bottom lip before sitting up. He reached over and grabbed his phone, hesitating for a second, before quickly going to his contacts.

A couple rings later and a voice answered, "Eyy, what's up Dee?"

"Hi Uncle Ches. Hope I didn't wake you."

"Not at all. What's on your mind?"

"I was wondering if I could stop by again tonight to practice? If the shop is still open."

"Ah, I'm actually leaving soon. Catching up with a couple of old friends. But I'll leave the key under the trashcan behind the place. You can stop by and practice there."

"Thanks. Should I stay downstairs?"

"Eh, up or down, doesn't matter. Long as you don't touch my stash." He hears Ches chuckle and Dee can't help but join him. "How's the song coming along?"

"I think I'm almost ready. I'm just missing...something. I can't place it. It needs more work."

"Ahh, I hate that feeling. Drives a man crazy." 

"Can you help?"

"Yeah I can, don't worry. I won't be out long. That's the thing about getting old; can't party like you used to. Otherwise I wouldn't be back till next week."

Dee chuckled and quickly hopped off the bed. "Okay. I'll be there soon." he hung up the phone before quickly grabbing his things. He slipped on his button up and tied his hair back. He opened his window and quietly stepped onto the roof. A slight tapping noise made him jump and he turned to see Heavy waving to him from the window with a grin. God damn it. He rolled his eyes but pressed a finger to his lips and waved back anyways. Oh well, at least Heavy never snitched on him. Even if his lies weren't convincing, Dad never liked pressuring Heavy for answers. Too young and innocent, he supposed. Once he was back on the ground Dee quickly ran out the backyard, making the short trip to Uncle Ches' place. 

Repetition was key, they say. Well they didn't have to play the same fucking song badly about 100 times or watch themselves fail 100 times. Okay, it wasn't bad but Dee was going absolutely insane with each passing minute. He had the tempo down, had the notes down, knew the words-and yet it still didn't sound right! He sat on the couch with a furrowed brow as he watched himself play on his phone. It sounded fine. Fine enough for him to at least lie and say he’s been 'practicing for a few months'. But there was just a...spark missing. He couldn’t explain it, but he saw it in how Glam and Ches played. Skill aside, they just had a sort of energy to him that even Heavy seemed to have. Damn it. Dee growled and threw his phone to the side before falling back onto the couch. He shut his eyes tightly as Glam's words echoed in his head. 

"And show everyone how bad of a guitarist you are? To dishonor yourself? To dishonor me?...I warned that you didn't have any musical talent...You should realize now that you don't have any musical abilities…"

Dad was blunt at times, sure. Dee could be the same way toward others. And yet his scorn had struck a nerve with him. His Dad never talked down to him like that before, or gotten frustrated over something that seemed so trivial. Glam acted as if one bad note would completely ruin his life! He dragged a hand down his face before looking at the white guitar resting on the table. Maybe Dad was right. He'd just make a fool of himself in front of Lif and mess everything up. Maybe he should just give up and accept the facts...but then he thinks of Ches who had sat with him these past few days. He put up with his sour notes and shitty attitude with smiles and laughs; Never once telling him to give up, only to try harder. Maybe Glam had no faith in him...but Ches did and it'd be a waste of both their time if he just gave up now.

Letting out a heavy sigh, he sat up and picked his phone up from the floor. Dee deleted the video and was getting ready to prop it on the coffee table to try again when his phone suddenly flashed an alert. Low Battery . Shit! He groaned and looked around, trying to see if he could find a charger anywhere. He didn’t want to snoop purposely so he merely hovered, trying to see if Ches had one laying around. He looked up and thought he saw one sticking out under a box. He reached up and gave a tug but instead was hit on the head with a cardboard box before it fell to the ground; everything inside scattered on the floor. He winced and rubbed his head before looking at the mess then his hand, which was merely holding an amp cord.

"Fuck!" Dee growled before he quickly bent down to pick up the paper that spilled all over the floor. He didn't give them much thought at first, too absorbed in his frustrations to really focus on it. But as he picked up a smaller notebook a few more things fell out and before he could get more frustrated at that, he stopped. Because what fell out were small polaroids of his Dad . Recovering from the equivalent of a mental punch to the face at the sight, he furrowed his brows and picked up the photos without much thought.

A few of them seem closer to the pictures his Dad had shown them all before. In the sense that they seemed to come from the same time period. Bandmates, backstage, onstage...just his Dad living the rockstar/band life. Next few are a little older. Like Glam sitting at a table outside, a book opened in front of him while he looked down- completely unaware of the photo being taken. No glasses yet. Next one is of Ches and Glam with Ches proudly pointing out Glam's piercings; most likely the first ones he got done considering the skin was red. Another one of Glam sleeping on an amp with Ches' green jacket over him, Glam laughing as he talks to someone...Dee flips through the rest of the photos but stops at the last one. 

It's Glam-or at least he thinks it's him. He's really young; too young for Dee to mentally place his Dad in that photo. Probably his age, if not younger. His hair is so short, there are no bags under his eyes or any hints of his Dad anywhere. He wouldn't have known it was truly him had it not been for the blue biker vest that he still had to this day. It dawns on Dee that he's never really seen pictures of his Dad younger than his late 20's. Only proof of the other's childhood existed as a grainy school photo that always stood out like a sore thumb in the family album. Especially when put against the now smiling, long haired man. But this one of his Dad as a teen was clear and it pinpointed a spot in Glam's history that Dee had no idea about. Though he could gather some clues. 

It was long before the band. Long before Glam had his blonde mane, his eyeliner or even his smile. He's smiling in the photo, sure, but it's reserved and almost hesitant. As if he was afraid of being so happy. Or maybe not used to being so happy. The background also strikes him as odd. It's rundown and cluttered though he supposed if he had to think of what his Dad's childhood would even be like, the posters on the wall and the music memorabilia on the ground did fit with his interests. And yet Dee didn't think that was right either…

All that aside, why did Ches have so many photos of Glam? Sure, they were friends. But all of the photos of Ches that Glam had were in albums and displayed with the rest of the family. These photos seemed so private and intimate. Hell, Dee would have felt less uncomfortable if he found Ches' pornstash to be honest. Seeing these photos of his Dad in situations he knew nothing about...it felt weird and only encouraged Dee's curiosity as he looked over at the small notebooks and papers that littered the ground. He hesitated before picking up a notebook and carefully opening it. Immediately he sees hand drawn sheet music with notes and symbols he doesn't really know. But the words, the lyrics, he can read easily. 

They’re all love songs. Deep, intimate love songs; all without names. Dee can’t help but read through them all. Some more generic than others, though Dee could feel the emotions behind them. They don’t seem like the songs their band used to sing. All of them were fast and raunchy with only a few slow ones in there. But nothing like this...and judging by the words and the photos...he could guess who the songs were about...blonde hair...blue eyes...

"Light reading?"

Dee let's out a very loud scream as he practically throws the book across the room. He jerks his head up and sees Ches standing there. He isn't smiling, though he doesn't look upset either. He seems neutral, which scares Dee more than anything. He quickly scrambles on to his feet, "Uncle Ches, I'm sorry, I-I didn't mean to-I was looking for a charger cause my phone died and-and-"

"Woah, woah. Calm down." Ches raises his brows as he shuts the door and tosses his things onto the entry table.

"Ahh, I mean, I-It was a mistake I didn't-"

"Dee." He walks over and places a hand on his shoulder, "You're fine. I just...didn't think I'd see you lookin' through my stuff. Especially that stuff." he casts a wary glance toward the mess.

"I didn't mean to. I was looking for the charger because my phone was going to die and I thought the cable was a charger, I pulled it and the box fell. I was putting it away it's just- I didn't-" he stops and looks down, trying to gather his thoughts. To be honest, Dee wasn't sure what to think. The revelation that his Uncle might be in love with his Dad was...something. Especially considering all these songs that he's never heard Dad or Ches ever sing. Dee's sure he's heard every song from the old band...but these were just…He looks at Ches before he ducks his head a little, giving him a nervous look.

The older man lets out a heavy sigh and scratches the back of his head, "...I think we need to talk. But first, drinks."

It's been fifteen minutes since they've sat on the couch and no one has said a word. Ches leans back casually, arm thrown over the back of the couch as he sips his beer, staring off into space. Dee is still holding his unopened can of soda with a grip so tight that he's sure he's left little dents on the can. In front of them the box remains opened, the picture of a teenage Glam resting at the top of the stack. 

What they're waiting for, Dee isn't sure. But considering Ches hasn't said or done anything, he figured he was waiting for him to talk first. Which Dee didn't mind, given the many thoughts running through his head. The issue was just what did Dee want to say? What did he want to ask first? He looks over at Ches, eyeing his Uncle before finally he gathers up enough courage to speak, "...Is...is that my Dad? In the photo." he points to the box. At least it was something.

"Yup." Ches takes another sip. 

"How old is he there?"

"Uh...seventeen. Just about to turn eighteen in a few months." Another pause of silence before Ches relents with more information, "It was taken back in my old, uh, home. Showed him a couple things; first time he ever spent the night at my place-"

"YOU GUYS FUCKED??" Dee snaps his head toward Ches with a wide eyed look.

Ches snorts and laughs loudly, throwing a hand over his eyes, "Oooh, I knew that was on your mind but," he laughs again, "I didn't think you'd be that blunt about it." he snorts and shakes his head as he looks at Dee with a smile. "No, Dee. We never slept together. Not in a fucking way, at least." he shrugged, "Besides your Dad's practically nocturnal. 'Sleepover' is a very loose term. I slept, he stayed up all night listening to almost every record I had."

His shoulder's slump and he sighs, relieved (sort of?) but also a bit embarrassed at the outburst. Dee sets the soda down and pushes back the loose strands of hair with a groan, "I didn't mean to yell it like that but…"

"But?" Ches raises a brow. 

Dee pouts some and looks at Ches. He supposed beating around the bush wasn't going to get them anywhere. "...Uncles Ches?"

"Yes, Dee?"

"Do...do you... love Glam?" Ches doesn't respond right away. Instead he looks away, getting lost in thought again. It's a simple yes or no answer, but Dee supposed neither of them were exactly ready to have this conversation. All Dee wanted was some pointers to get his song right. Not to interrogate his Uncle on whether or not he's been harboring some K-Drama level crush on his Dad. Which was... weird but also complicated, given Glam had been married for years now. Hell, Ches had been his best man at the wedding and the three supposedly hung out all the time even before he was born... Dee sighs and crosses his arms, "I just...I saw the notebook, and the photos…"

"If I said yes," Ches looks at him, "What would you think? Or feel?"

"...I'd...I don't know. I'd be...confused. But also…how?"

"How?"

"Dad's-Glam's married. And you've guys been together for so long, or known each other for so long…" he hesitates, "You never told him?"

Ches sighs, "No. It's...it's complicated."

"Were you afraid he'd reject your or be grossed out-"

"Oh, no, no. Nothing like that." he snorts, "Please, your Dad is far from textbook straight and far more open minded then most. Case in point, your brother and what happened last year." 

Dee nodded, "True. So...why?"

Ches sighed again, closing his eyes for a moment, "Your Dad's...been through a lot. More than I can say but…" he opened his eyes and looked back at Dee, "To keep it simple; I didn't want to push anything on him." he motions to the photo, "When we were teenagers, when that photo was taken, things weren't...great. For either of us, but especially for Glam. I already knew pretty early on after we met that I did love him. It's hard to explain, and I won't get into it for your sake, but...in the end, he didn't need a relationship like that. Not right away. He needed a friend and I was more than happy to be that for him." 

The fact Glam's been through some hardship is surprising but Dee doesn't push further. Oh he wants to know, but that's a different subject for a different time. "But what about later? After he was…'better'?" Dee shrugs. "You couldn't tell him then?"

"It's not that easy, Dee. Glam is…" he winces, "It wasn't just a bad day and then we moved on. What we went through was...Hell. And as good as things are now, it's not like we've completely left all that behind. I know I haven't." he looks down before looking back at Dee, "There wasn't much I could do for Glam then. I wasn't in a good spot to help him greatly, but I promised that I'd be there by his side. Whatever he needed me to be, I'd be for him."

"Even if it wasn't exactly what you wanted." Dee frowns, picking at his wristband. 

"I told myself that I'd just let things progress. When he was ready for a relationship, if he did share the same feelings, then we'd get together. Time passed, he dated other people, I dated other people...and eventually when he was ready for something more...he fell for Vicky." he shrugged, "So, we stayed friends. Simple as that."

That made Dee wince and he thought about the family photo album. All those photos of Uncle Ches always there; a constant presence in the family. He hadn't given it much thought, merely taking for granted having him there. But now that he knew…"Didn't it hurt? When Dad didn't...you know. Ask or say anything?" he hesitated, "When he married Mom?"

A complicated smile spread across Ches' face, "If I just loved him romantically-then yeah. I'd probably play off that unrequited love shit. Grow bitter and old...but…" his smile softens and he leans back on the couch, "I love Glam...more than anything. For the longest time he was the only person that ever...meant something to me. And I meant something to him too. It's...a different kind of love. Deeper." he looked up toward the ceiling "One where you just wanna see the person happy no matter what. Would have it been nice to be with him? Sure. I bet it would. But seeing Glam now with Vicky, and you and Heavy...seeing him with a family that he loves so much and loves him back…" he lets out a breathy laugh, "I wouldn't trade it for anything. I'm just glad he's happy." 

But are you happy? It's a question he doesn't have the guts to ask. Mostly because he wasn't sure if he wanted to know, or put Ches on the spot like that. Dee keeps his gaze down, feeling a tightness in his chest. He isn't sure what to say. All these years Uncle Ches had just been Uncle Ches. A laid back man who was always there to lend a hand. To think that all this time he had been suffering, or rather concealing, these thoughts and feelings…"And you never told him? Would you ever tell him?"

The other shakes his head, "No. I didn't want to force it on him then, I wouldn't do it now. I'm just happy to be around." he smiles slightly and picks up the picture of a young Glam, looking it over for a moment before chuckling, "He's come a long way, that's about as much as I can say."

Dee looks at the photo as well and pushes his hair back, "...We really do look alike."

"No shit." he holds the photo up to Dee and snorts, "Spitting image, minus the freckles."

He shifts in his seat and looks at his guitar before looking back at Ches, "Does it feel weird?"

"Hm?"

"I mean, I look like him a lot...do you...I dunno, do I remind you of him?"

"In a general sense, yeah. But it's the same as when I look at Heavy and think of Vicky. Nothing more than that." He finishes his beer before chucking it behind him and into the trash can with ease. "But it doesn't make me feel any sort of negative feelings, if that's what you're asking."

"I guess." After a few moments of silence he speaks, "I won't tell Dad about any of this, by the way. Or Heavy or anyone else."

"Thanks little man." he claps a hand on his shoulder, "Didn't exactly want you to find this all out-"

"Sorry."

" But ," he smiles, "Thanks for taking it well."

Dee smiles some before frowning and looking down, "If…you wanna talk about it-I know you can't tell me everything about Dad. But…" he shrugs, "I don't know. It must kinda suck keeping everything to yourself?" Dee knew how that felt like. He was guilty of that too, for a while. Bottling things up until he felt like he would explode. Only recently he had opened up more to both Heavy and Ches, which made things much more bearable. Opening up to his Dad was still...hard. But if he could have someone like Ches to talk to, then it only seemed fair that Ches had someone to talk to as well. "If you want."

Ches smiles, "Thanks Dee. I'll keep that in mind." he ruffled his hair despite Dee's groan and then leaned back, "Now, setting all that aside...You needed help with the song?"

"Yeah." Right, the song. He almost forgot. "I don't know what's wrong. I play it fine, it's just that...when I looked at the recordings of myself playing it always comes off weird. Like I’m-“

“Show me.” Ches sets his beer down and stands up to get his own guitar. “I think I know what’s wrong but let me see.” 

Dee hesitates but nods. He settled on the couch, back straight and making sure he had everything right. He waits till Ches comes back before he starts. 

A few seconds in and Ches stops him, “Yeah, I know what’s wrong.” 

“Am I playing something wrong?”

“No, but what are you thinking about when you play?”

“Uh, the notes?”

“And that’s your problem.” He pulls his red guitar onto his lap. "Makes sense you'd do that. You're new. You want to get everything right and perfect. Make it sound good."

"Well, yeah."

"But there's another little element to it. Something that's hard to add in if you aren't musically talented."

"Great." Dee frowned and slumped his shoulders. 

"But!" he smirked, "Not impossible, if you don't mind messing up a bit." When Dee gives him a confused look he chuckles, "You know people who don't have a good voice, right? But when they sing, they sing in such a way that you can't help but join in or smile at it?  Even if it sounds terrible. Why is that?"

Dee presses his lips together, thinking about it hard before looking back at him, "Because they're enjoying it?"

" Exactly ." Ches nods, "You're not going to sound smooth. You won't sound like a professional. But you can sound good and you can sound passionate." When Dee makes a face Ches looks down at his guitar, straightening up and positioning his fingers. "Here's me playing like I would on stage." Ches plays with absolute talent, fingers practically dancing on the strings as studio quality sound comes from him. He stops and looks at Dee, "Now here's me playing for the hell of it." Ches props his feet on the coffee table and leans back, almost laying down. He plays a lazy song, fingers bumping against other strings and haphazardly strumming...and yet it still sounds good. Sounds...casual. Ches stops and looks at him, "See what I mean?

"...I think so." he took a deep breath before he sighed, "How am I supposed to know if I'm good or just failing casually?"

Ches laughed, "Okay, okay. Close your eyes." Dee does as he's told, though with reluctance. "Now imagine Lif is sitting right in front of you-"

"Uncle Ches!" Dee's eyes snap open and he huffs. 

"Trust me kid, trust me. Just picture it. Don't worry about trying to impress her or making her believe you're some sort of hot shot." Ches smirks, "Don't focus on that."

"Then what am I doing?" Dee frowned, though he closed his eyes again, "What's the point?"

"Think about wanting to make her smile. Just that. Nothing else. Then open your eyes and play."

Dee groans, making a face as he blushes from slight embarrassment. Now he was really regretting showing Ches photos of her. But he pushes past that and instead thinks about Lif. She's cute. They like the same music...she does that thing where she stretches out the holes in her fishnet gloves and tights. She always listens to him ramble and he does the same. She plays with his hair. He fiddles with her hand...And when she laughs she always leans back, smiling wide and running a hand through her hair...Dee blushes more but opens his eyes and begins to play. He let's muscle memory take over for the most part and tries to ignore any obvious mistakes. Instead he focuses on playing for Lif. On playing for himself...and in a way playing for Ches who had sacrificed so much, more than just this past few weeks, to teach him how to play. 

When he finishes he looks up at Ches who gives him a big grin, "That's it! You got it!" 

"Did I?" He gives a shy smile. 

"Take a look for yourself." Ches holds out his phone, which Dee didn't even realize he had pulled out, and watches himself play. He looks less tense and while he still fumbles and awkwardly catches in some areas of the song...he looks like he knows what he's doing for once. 

"Holy fuck…" he said as he raised his eyebrows. He looks at Ches, "Holy fuck."

Ches pats the other's back and sets his phone down. "I knew you had it in you. And who knows, after you sweep your little girlfriend off her feet, maybe you'll stick to playing and get better."

"Uncles Ches…" he huffs, shoving him away. But he does pause and look at the box before looking back at him, "Maybe I will…"

"That's the spirit. Guitar skills might not be all there, but you got a nice voice. Could switch to being frontman if the guitar doesn't work out." 

"Really?"

He nods before yawning, "Now, this old man needs sleep. Feel free to stick around, but I'm off to bed."

"Mind if I practice a little more here?"

"Go ahead. Crash here if you want. Kind of late to be walking around." he said, looking at the window.

"Alright." he looks down at the ground as Ches stands up and goes to put his guitar away. After a few moments he speaks up, "Uncle Ches?"

"Hmm?" he looks over his shoulder.

"Thanks. For...everything." he pauses, " Everything ."

The older man blinks in surprise before smiling slightly,  "Anything for family, you know. Now get some sleep. She comes back tomorrow, yeah? Gotta rest up. Also, chrager's in the kitchen. For future reference." he smirks before patting his shoulder as he passes.

Dee gives an embarrassed smile and nods before he watches Ches head down the hall and to the bedroom. For a while Dee does practice some more though eventually feels he's exhausted all his efforts for the time being. Instead he takes off his shoes and unties his hair before settling back on the couch. Blue eyes drift to the box once more and, after confirming Ches was asleep by the snoring, he pulled out the little book and photos once more. 

It's snooping, yeah. But Dee's curiosity always got the better of him. Besides, he isn't really sure why he is looking. Not for blackmail reasons or anything like that. As devious as he was, even he would never cross Uncle Ches. One because he was a good person and the other reason was because this tidbit of information was nothing on what Ches had on Dee. He was only fueling his curiosity over, not specifically Ches and his Dad's relationship, but the life that his Dad had before the family. It seemed...odd to picture him as anything other than Glam . Anything other than their eccentric father and talented guitarist. But looking at the photo of a teenaged Glam...he wondered what kind of person his Dad was before it all. It wasn't like they had any extended family beyond family friends. Dad had Ches and the other bandmates. Mama had Bug, Anna and her biker gang...both parents acted like they magically spawned out of thin air. But they had to have family somewhere . People who they grew up with at least...Hmm. It was a topic to explore... for another day. 

Dee's eyes soon grew heavy and he yawned. After returning all the contents back into the box he settled on the couch again, letting himself get at least a few hours of sleep. 

Few Months Later

Dee and Heavy sat facing one another, both holding their respective guitars as they practiced chords and scales. Despite the several months of practice Dee held over Heavy, his little brother had managed to catch up to him within the span of a week. It had caused him some frustration but Heavy always looked to Dee as a mentor regardless; always in awe of whatever Dee did even if Heavy did it better. Oh well, Dee was better at Heavy in pretty much everything else...he could let this one thing slide. Maybe. 

"What did Lif say when you told her about taking lessons with us?" Heavy asked, repeating the E Major scale with ease. "Uncle Ches could probably give her a guitar."

Dee scoffed, trying to do the same though messing up toward the end, "She said she'd rather stick with the piano." Despite his efforts, nothing more than friendship had come from Lif. He still liked her and would have liked to get together...but for now was content with being her friend. Even if his pseudo guitar skills hadn't wooed her, it did allow them to bond over music. And their mediocre talents of music. Turns out Lif was lying about playing the piano well; just like Dee had lied about knowing the guitar. Neither of them could hold a tune without massive amounts of prep and practice, but it had broken the ice between them. Something about knowing they were both prideful, lying pieces of shit seemed to make them feel comfortable with one another. Honor among thieves, he supposed. 

"Laame." Heavy bit his bottom lip as he played a couple of chords in quick succession though winced and shook his hand, "Damn, it really cuts." he looked at his hand, "You already have calluses huh?"

"Yeah." Dee showed him his hands where the pads of his fingers had already gotten used to the harsh strings. 

"Cool!" Heavy grinned and looked back at his own hands, still too soft to properly handle the strings, "How long will that take?"

"Like a month."

"Damn it!" Heavy leaned back, "I hope I can still hold a mouse after all of this…"

"Stop being a baby. You act like your fingers are going to fall off."

"I'm not a baby." he smirked, "I thought a pretty boy like you wouldn't want your fingers to get ugly." he leaned closer, "How else are you and Lif going to hold hands?" he teased as he wiggled his eyebrows.

"Shut up." he nudged Heavy's leg, almost making him drop the guitar. 

"Careful." Glam scolds lightly, standing in the doorway of the kitchen. "Dee, don't hit your brother."

"He started it!" Dee huffed. 

"Did not!" Heavy stuck his tongue out and Dee made a face back at him though stopped when Glam cleared his throat. "Sorry." they both said before going back to focusing on their guitars. With a slight shake of his head Glam went back to the dining room table, taking a seat with Ches once more. 

"All good over there?" Ches asked before taking a drag of his cigarette.

"They're fine. I'm more concerned about them breaking the guitars than the two actually hurting each other." 

"That's kids for you." he shrugged, "Sounds like they're coming along well."

"They've certainly come far." he took a sip of his tea. "Heavy's caught up to Dee already."

"And Dee's gotten a lot better. He can read music now, right? That's good."

"Yup." Glam looked down at his cup before looking back at Ches, "I wouldn't have approved of you teaching Dee, you know. If you had asked originally."  

Ches looks up at Glam who has a slight frown. He scoffs, "Oh?"

"You knew that."

"I did?"

"You did." Glam's frown deepens "You knew I didn't want him to just skip forward and ignore the basics." Still, he sighs and relaxes his shoulders some, "...But thank you, either way. He seems...happy."

Ches rolled his eyes though smirked, "The kid's a genius in pretty much every aspect of his life. Skilled and talented beyond anything else or anyone else at almost everything he has ever tried." he takes a drag and huffs, "Let him suck at one thing for fun."

"I know, I know I just...I forgot. I snapped at him and made him feel like he couldn't come to me for help. He asked and I just-"

"Hey, hey, hey." he straightens up, "You don't have to explain anything. It was a mistake. Don't beat yourself up over it."

"Still, I did yell at him when he first asked. And when I found the guitar you gave him I got even angrier…"

"But you got over your self-entitled, upper crust, 'hereditary musician' ass and let him keep playing." he motioned to the side, "And now look, even Heavy finally wants to play." his smile softened, "You did good, Glam. Don't worry about it. They're happy now."

Glam hesitates before smiling and giving a nod. "They do seem happy…" however he quickly frowns again, "But they both didn't need Gibson Guitars, Ches." he scolds. "They're thousands of dollars!"

"And? Only the best for my nephews. Besides they picked them."

"But your business-" 

"Not my fault they have expensive taste just like you. Your first guitar was worth a lot too, remember?”

"Hey, you stole it for me-"

" Borrowed it for you. And then never returned it." he laughed, "You weren't complaining when we performed with it."

"How could I? It was the only guitar we had. Besides yours." he sighed, "You won't even let me pay you back for the two."

"Because they were gifts to the boys. Gifts of Music." Glam gives him a blank look but Ches laughs and rolls the cigarette between his fingers, "You can't tell me that they didn't pick well. Or that they don't fit them well."

The blonde shakes his head though pauses when he hears Heavy and Dee playing a song. Heavy's playing is smoother and more on beat. But Dee is still playing well. Better than when he first heard his attempts at playing without any proper training. Glam laughs slightly, "I'm still surprised you taught him when he just wanted to impress a girl with a song." he looked back at Ches, "You hate when guys do that. Didn't you kick a few guys out for asking the same thing?"

"I did." 

“So why help Dee?”

“Well…” Ches rubs the back of his neck and sighs. He remembers Dee's face. Pleading blue eyes, furrowed brows and a pout all framed by wild blonde hair...that was soon replaced with a bright and eager grin when he agreed. Then he looks up at Glam who, decades ago, made the same, exact expressions on a park bench outside the conservatory as he asked for a similar request.

Ches hadn't been lying when he said that Dee's similarity to Glam didn't make him think differently...but he would be lying if he said it didn't give the younger blonde an unfair advantage. So maybe Ches was a little biased. Sue him. 

"Well?" Glam raises a brow.

Ches smiles softly before giving a shrug and smirk. "How could I say no to that face?"