Archive of Our Own

When Ibuki first woke up, the first thing she felt was cold.

The pod in which she had awakened had small vents that funneled in fresh, crisp air from the room outside to keep a proper circulation. Unfortunately, it wasn’t the warmest of setups. Ibuki’s eyes slowly opened, vision blurry and distorted. She felt dizzy, as if she was going to fall off the world. A small groan escaped her throat, airy and raspy from disuse.

When her vision finally cleared, she came face-to-face with a beaming Sonia Nevermind. Her grayish eyes were crinkled around the edges in a soft gaze, eyes flaring with pride and relief. Her eyes reminded Ibuki of a mist-strewn beachside.

“Mioda-san! You’re up.” Sonia clasped Ibuki’s right hand with her own. That was when Ibuki realised she was corporeal. She.. had a body? Wasn’t she dead? That wasn’t right. She wouldn’t have been able to feel her heartbeat if she was dead, rapidly accelerating as the weight of panic began to settle into her bones.

Ibuki’s eyes trailed from her feet, to her legs, to her hands and her arms. The flimsy blue hospital gown barely granted her any warmth.

The gown.

Memories came rushing back, faster than she could get a grasp on them, of dim candlelight and hushed sugary words and course rope. She hadn’t been able to breathe. She had struggled for air that would not come, head growing blanker and blanker as she lost consciousness.

No. Ibuki needed to breathe. She hadn’t even noticed her heavy, laboured heaves of breath and grasping at her bare neck until a voice, as if shouting from a distance, finally made way to hear ears and warm hands that were not her own settling on her shoulders, gripping firmly.

“Mioda-san!! Can you hear me? Mioda, please listen to me. Open your eyes, please, I’m right here.” Ibuki’s eyes, which had been tightly squeezed shut, hesitantly opened with a wince against the glaring light.

“Good job, Mioda-San.” Sonia praised, firm grip on her shoulders relaxing slightly. “Look around, friend. Can you tell me five things you can see?

Still with laboured breaths and tremors passing through her body, Ibuki blinks and looks around the room.

“Ibuki sees.. You.” Sonia giggles quietly.

“Yes, what else?”

“Ibuki sees.. My hand. And a light on the ceiling. And I see strange machines, and a vase of flowers on the table next to me.”

“Excellent. How about four things you can feel?”

“My heartbeat. I can…” Ibuki stops to focus. “Ibuki feels cold. And I feel my hair on my neck, and your hands on my shoulders, and fabric against my skin.”

“Yes. three things you can hear?”

Ibuki’s heartbeat had slowed. She was no longer breathing so quickly. She strained her ears, searching for a sound.

“Your voice. A whirring from the computer over there,” she motions to a monitor in the corner of the room. The screen, flashing with green light, displayed the text World Destroyer - Mioda Attempt 1. “And.. waves?”

“Good job. Two things you can smell, and one thing you can taste?”

“Chemicals. Salty air. And… Ibuki’s spit?” she supplied, unsure of what else to say. Sonia’s laugh tinkled in the air.

“Are you feeling better now?”

“Yes.” Ibuki, indeed feeling much calmer now, looked around in confusion. “Where are we? Isn’t Ibuki dead?”

Sonia winced, so slightly only someone as perceptive as Ibuki would have caught it. But she gave her a weak grin immediately after, the relief floating back into her eyes.

“No. Mioda-san, everything that we experienced on Jabberwock island turned out to be a simulation. We are all here. Everyone is alive.”

Oh. Ibuki took a moment to process this. “Then.. where is everyone? Why is Sonia-chan the only one here?”

Sonia’s grin faltered. “Well. Only the people who survived the killing game in the Neo World Program woke up immediately. You’re actually the first person who died in the simulation to wake up.”

Suddenly, the odd machine-like pods filling the room made sense.

“Oh! I almost forgot. I know these must be a little bland for your taste, but they’re more comfortable than a hospital gown and I’m sure you could accessorize it.”

Sonia placed a school uniform, plain white, into Ibuki’s hands. It was quite boring, but Ibuki was sure she could figure something out. She smiled at Sonia and thanked her, and quickly went into the restroom to change. Still a bit weak, she had enough trouble getting up that Sonia extended a helping hand.

“Come on, friend!” Sonia cheered. “I’m sure Hinata and the others will be very excited to see you.”

They left the room into the warm glare of the sun, Ibuki leaving a final glance behind her back into the capsule room as they did.

-

Therapy was definitely more difficult than Ibuki could have imagined. Even though she and the other former remnants did not remember much of their time in despair, the stuff they did remember was enough to send people into panic.

People had started waking up more frequently. Now, all who were left to rouse were Nagito, Mikan, and Peko. Ibuki hoped in secret that Peko would wake up soon. Fuyuhiko looked so sad all the time.

Even though Ibuki and her classmates had all agreed to work towards forgiveness towards anyone they may have been violently involved with during the killing game, things still got tense and many people tended to avoid certain areas. Twogami refused to set foot in the old building, and one time Mahiru accidentally strayed too close to the beachhouse and was brought back to the hotel leaning on a worry-stricken Hiyoko. Ibuki sometimes wondered how Hiyoko was going to react to Mikan when she inevitably woke up.

Mikan. Ibuki had thought about her more than she cared to admit. It wasn’t just that she was the person who carried out her own brutal murder, she had already decided that Mikan definitely wasn’t in her right mind and she was forgiven.

She just couldn’t seem to get her mind off of her. She was certainly pretty, but not in the conventional way her former bandmates were. (Ibuki’s heart twisted at the thought of Sayaka. When she had asked about her to Naegi, knowing that they would have shared a class, his eyes filled with tears and that was all she needed to know.) Mikan constantly looked worried, cheeks constantly strewn with drying salty streaks and shadows hanging under her lower lashes. But her eyes were a muted shade of deep purple, and they reminded Ibuki of asteroids.

Among Ibuki’s faraway memories of despair was an image of those wide purple eyes contorted with desire, carrying out another one of Enoshima’s cruel errands. The thought sent a shiver down her spine. She brought her fingers up and flicked her head with her thumb and middle finger as if to dispel the memory.

“Mioda-san?” Ibuki was pulled out of her train of thought as Kazuichi slid a container across the table she had been sitting at in the hotel restaurant. “There’s some pink hair dye in this if you want it.”

Ibuki lifted the small container and examined it with narrowed eyes. Her eyes flickered in between the sharp-toothed boy and the small canister a few times before she slid it back across the smooth surface with a grin.

“Kazuichi’s hair is all faded. Ibuki thinks he should take it!”

Kazuichi’s face contorted with surprise. “Oh, are you sure? Because I know how happy hair dye makes you, I wouldn’t want to-”

“It’s okay! Ibuki will just ask Makoto for some hair chalk in the next delivery!” Ibuki cut in. Kazuichi smiled brightly. It was rare to see anyone with more than a slight grin nowadays- her classmates had grown so weary. Anything that earned the cheer of her friends satisfied Ibuki greatly, more than any pigmentation in her hair.

Kazuichi left the building, and Ibuki was left alone with her breakfast, although it wasn’t long before Twogami was sliding into the chair across from her and asking if she was going to finish her miso soup.

It seemed life was smoothly running its course. Ibuki hoped everything would be okay.

-

When Mikan woke up, she was the last. Peko had left the room with an overjoyed Fuyuhiko resting his head on her shoulder a week earlier, and Nagito had left the room hand in hand with a determined looking Hajime a few days back, looking positively bewildered.

Unlike the rest of the class, who had managed to console themselves fairly easily, Mikan’s panic did not subside. Half of her mind still seemed ensnared with Enoshima, lashing out with bulging eyes, and the other half was terrified, guilty, and bursting out into tears every other minute. Being the only other person with a talent in the medical field other than Mikan herself, Hajime had to knock her out and restrain her in order to keep her subdued. Ibuki hadn’t seen her yet, nobody else aside from Sonia and Hajime had, but Ibuki still felt horrible at the position she must be in right now.

“It’ll be a slow process, helping her understand that she’s okay now.” Hajime had said. Ibuki comforted herself with the fact that he had not said it was impossible.

Hajime had definitely become somewhat of a leader. With the absence of Chiaki, people had begun to turn to him with their issues. Ibuki admired his resilience- she knew it had been hard on him. Kamukura’s presence, even just the memory of it, still sent a chill down her spine. She didn’t want to think about what it would be like to have him inside of your head.

It was, indeed, a slow process. They had made progress, She was no longer lashing out at the others, but getting her to talk or console her tears was still in the works. Sonia had visited her again for the first time since her initial wake, and it seemed to make her feel more comfortable than Hajime’s presence, so she became what might be her temporary caretaker.
Ibuki had been told it might be a while before she could see her. It made sense, but the weight of disappointment still hung in her stomach. She would be patient, she had to be.

Ibuki toyed with the straw in her drink. Mikan had been a friend, and she hoped that didn’t fade with the events in the simulation. She was prepared to not hang out with her much again for the sake of her mental health, but the pang of hurt in her chest was hard to ignore.

As a distraction, she busied herself with tuning an old acoustic guitar in her makeshift music room. Ibuki was uncomfortable spending too much time in the music venue, so Kazuichi and Gundham had put together a temporary setup in a spare room in the old building. There were a lot of outlets in the room, so she could easily set up anything she needed. The instruments provided by Makoto and his team weren’t all that special- Ibuki missed her signature electric guitar- but she was grateful nonetheless.

Sheets of paper littered the floor- lyrics to scrapped songs, unfinished lines of notes. Ibuki seemed to have lost some of her creative touch in despair- it took many more attempts to complete a song than it would have before she began attending Hope’s Peak.

Hope’s Peak. That was a long time ago. She frowned at the sudden influx of bittersweet memories, and strummed the guitar louder, playing a comforting melody she was familiar with that drowned out the scenes replaying in her head.

She continued playing until her fingers were calloused and sore, until Mahiru had all but dragged her out of the room and into her cabin, complaining that nobody would get any sleep if she was so loud. Ibuki argued that nobody really got any sleep in the first place, and she was met with silence.

-

When Ibuki finally got to meet Mikan again, it was with caution. Mikan could likely handle the stressful situation, but just in case something bad happened, Sonia waited right outside the door to the hospital room, ready to burst in at any given moment.

Ibuki took a deep breath, looked back up at the door in front of her, and softly knocked on the door.

A timid “come in” made its way to her ears, and Ibuki opened the door slightly and poked her head into the room.

“May I come in?

“O-oh, y-yeah, of course.”

She opened the door wider and crossed the threshold. Peering across the room, she took in the image in front of her. Mikan was wearing the same white uniform as everyone else in the class, and her choppy hair tumbled past her shoulders and back. She was propped up on the bed with pillows, trembling despite the warm comforter surrounding her.

“Hey. Are you comfortable with me coming closer?” Ibuki was met with a shaky nod. She took a few more steps, and sat down at the foot of the bed.

Mikan looked nervous as usual, eyes zoned out, staring at the wall behind the other.

“Penny for Mikan’s thoughts?”

Mikan startled and looked back at Ibuki.

“A-h, Mioda-san, I-I’m sorry! I’m j-just really nervous.” Ibuki could already tell, she had deduced as such by her tense shoulders and the nervous tapping of her fingers.

“No worries!” Ibuki flashed her warmest grin, knowing her usual heightened reactions would probably frighten the other. Mikan still flinched, but she returned the gesture with a shaky smile.

“Sooo..” Ibuki fiddled with the hem of her skirt. “How has Mikan-chan been feeling?”

“A-ah, um. Better. I wish I could be as good as Sonia-san, so I could use my talent as a nurse to help people more. O-oh! Not that I think I’m of any use! I’m sorry!”

Mikan’s arms were rising to that protective position they so often found themselves in. Ibuki slowly reached for one of her hands and held it in her own, winding her fingers through the other’s and setting their hands down onto the bed. Ibuki could swear she could feel Mikan’s pulse in her hand, quickly beating with adrenaline. She gave it a comforting squeeze.

“Mikan, It’s okay. No need to apologize! Once you’re feeling all better, you will be very helpful to me and all the rest of us! Mikan-chan has always been very helpful, but it’s more than enough that you’re our friend. I think that’s what we need the most right now.”

“A-a friend?”

“Right on! Mikan was always a great friend!”

Mikan looked down at her lap, eyes beginning to shine with tears. Ibuki felt her heart squeeze.

“B-but.. The last time we s-saw each other, I..”

Ibuki swung her legs over the bed and moved to sit across from the other.

“Mikan, you weren’t you. You didn’t kill me, back then, some other person that you didn’t have any control over did. We were both sick, you can’t place the blame onto yourself.”

“B-but even then… before the game, I let myself get sick. None of this would h-have happened if I wasn’t so weak. Yukizome-Sensei wouldn’t have… Nanami-san wouldn’t have…” Tears were now falling from her eyes, ignored by the girl as they gathered on her jaw. Ibuki resisted the urge to pull her close, squeeze her, make a joke so the tears would go away. That probably wasn’t what Mikan needed.

“Would Mikan like a hug?”

Mikan looked up, sniffed and her face paused in consideration for a moment. Then, she gave a shaky nod.

Ibuki slowly, with caution, pulled the other into her arms, resting Mikan’s head on her shoulder. The tears hadn’t ceased, and her sleeve got a bit damp, but Ibuki could care less.

“Nobody could stop Enoshima, Mikan. She told you it was all your fault, but it was all hers. I’m so sorry you had to be so close to her. I can’t imagine… how hard it must be to remember.” Ibuki’s words were hushed, quiet. She pulled away and Mikan’s eyes were still shining, but this time not with sorrow, Ibuki realised with a small thrill. With relief.

“Ibuki thinks we’re all blaming ourselves. Us, for not realising you weren’t okay, and not being able to help Chiaki and Yukizome-sensei. And I think Hajime is really going through it, too, even though he was lied to about the project that brought Kamukura to life. If we had to pass around blame, we’d be here for a while. Ibuki thinks it's important that we forgive ourselves, as best as we can.”

A lock of Mikan’s hair had fallen in front of her face. Ibuki reached out and tucked it behind her ear.
“Mikan, Ibuki forgives you.” This seemed to move Mikan greatly, face lighting with joy. “So please, forgive yourself, too.”

Only when Mikan laid her hand across Ibuki’s own that had been resting against her face did Ibuki realize she had been cupping her cheek. She felt heat rise to her face, but didn’t pull away. Mikan was smiling, cheeks dry and eyes soft and warm.

And it was then that Ibuki decided she would do anything to keep that smile there.

-

“Mikan has her hair tied up?!”

Ibuki peered at Mikan from several angles, circling around her to get a good look. Mikan fidgeted, but now accustomed to Ibuki’s hyper nature, did not panic.

It had been several weeks since Ibuki had met Mikan again for the first time, and Mikan had begun to cling to the other like a sore thumb, finding comfort in her boisterous and upbeat personality. Ibuki paid no mind, always finding new ways to make the other laugh, indulging in the smiles she received in return.

Whenever Mikan seemed to be stressing out more than usual, Ibuki would grip her hand and repeat the same mantra that seemed to always calm the other down; “I forgive you, forgive yourself.”

“Ah, um, y-yes, I did. I-It was getting in the way of m-my medical work, so I’m keeping it away from my face.”

“Hm…” Ibuki rubbed her chin, contemplative. “Is Mikan’s hair too long for her comfort?”

“H-huh?” Mikan reached for her ponytail and inspected her choppy hair, as if she hadn’t considered it before.

“Yeah! Ibuki thinks that you hide behind your hair a lot. Besides, it gets in the way of your passion. Nagito would not be thrilled!” Mikan let out a quiet giggle. As always, Ibuki revelled in the sound.

“Aha!” Ibuki raised up a finger with a dramatic flair. “Ibuki was always good at cutting hair! I did it to myself all the time back then! Would Mikan want me to cut it for her? Only if you want to, of course!”

“A-ah, um..” Mikan seemed to be considering it. “I-it might be a good way to let go of old memories..”

“Exactly!”

Ibuki jumped up with excitement at the nod of confirmation she received in response.

“How long do you want it to be? Ibuki was thinking a bob! Then you could still do cute little space buns!”

Mikan fumbled with her hair. “M-maybe to my shoulders, then? So then I could still tie it back…” Ibuki nodded enthusiastically.

“Okay then! Ibuki is going to take you to her cottage, is that okay? My bathroom has a big mirror!” Mikan nodded and Ibuki took her hand, speedwalking in the direction of the cottages.

Mikan was much taller than she was, she had about six inches on the other if you took away her hornlike hairpieces. It made for an interesting dynamic, Ibuki always had new places to explore and Mikan, despite towering over her, willingly let herself be dragged around.

When they reached the cottage, Ibuki produced a chair from a desk by the door and moved it into the bathroom.

“Sit here!” Ibuki patted the chair and Mikan sat down as Ibuki pulled out her hair cutting scissors and a comb.

“Alright, Ibuki is gonna start now. Hold your head steady, slightly tilted forwards if that’s alright with you please!” Mikan did as requested and Ibuki got to work.

Ibuki went quiet as she began, a comfortable silence washing across the room broken only by the quiet snip-snips of the scissors. Ibuki laid a hand on the back of Mikan’s head, tilting it to get the right angle, and worked concisely. She was usually pretty haphazard when she cut her own hair, but Ibuki wanted this to be perfect for Mikan, seeing as it was such a symbolic change.

Mikan seemed to be enjoying the sensations of her haircut, being lulled into a drowse by the hands running through her hair and weight being lifted from her head as her hair fell, piling up on the floor. When Ibuki was done, not wanting to disturb her, she squeezed Mikan’s shoulders to capture her attention and looked up at the mirror.

“Ta-daa!! Do you like it?”

Mikan’s eyes opened, widening as she took in the sight in front of her, She reached up and ran her hands through her hair, marvelling in the feeling. The corners of her lips pulled upwards into a grin.

“I-it feels so light.. It’s refreshing.”

“Great! Ibuki is glad Mikan is happy with it!” Ibuki inspected her wrist as if checking a watch, ignoring that, in fact, she was not wearing one. “Dinnertime is soon. Do you want to go down to the restaurant now and show everyone your new look before we eat?”

“O-oh! Yes, sure!”

“Great! Come on!” Ibuki leapt up and skipped out of the cabin, Mikan only a few paces behind her.

When they entered the restaurant, a small crowd immediately gathered around Mikan as they noticed the recent development. As she was showered with compliments, Ibuki noticed her shoulders begin to tense up in stress. She clasped their hands together once more and rubbed her thumb against the other’s hand comfortingly. Mikan began to settle down, accepting the compliments and looking down in embarrassment as the crowd began to dissipate with the arrival of the food.

Dinner was pleasant that evening, Mikan receiving several more compliments throughout the night. Hiyoko had even stated that it “wasn’t that bad,” earning an approving pat from Mahiru.

Ibuki walked Mikan to her cabin that night, waving to her as she unlocked her door.

“I’ll see you tomorrow morning, Mikan!” As she was about to turn around and leave, she heard a quiet “wait” sound from the other. She looked back up in concern.

“Is something wrong?”

“N-no, nothing like that! I-I just..” Mikan ducked her head. “Thank you, for everything.”

Ibuki felt butterflies swarming in her chest. “No problem! If you ever want a haircut again, just ask, okay?”

“Yes!”

Ibuki smiled. “Good night, Mikan.”

“G-good night! Sleep well..”

Ibuki tried hard to follow that wish, but the butterflies did not relent until the early hours of the morning.

-

Mikan was having one of her harder days. Ibuki could always tell when she was going through a rough time, because Mikan never failed to show up for breakfast on time unless there was something medical to take care of. However, she had the tendency to shut herself away if her guilt got too intense, and although Ibuki always wanted to poke her head in and check on her, she held back to respect her boundaries.

However, today things seemed to be especially bad. Dinner had come and gone, and Mikan was still nowhere to be found.

Mikan is already so frail. Is she eating enough? Certainly not today…

Ibuki rose from her chair and made her way to the kitchen, grabbing a clean bowl from a stack and filling it with a portion of the udon Teruteru had cooked that evening. It was still steaming and the bowl was hot to the touch, and Ibuki walked carefully to avoid spilling the hot soup onto her hands as she made her way to Mikan’s cottage.

Once she had made her way to the cottage, Ibuki balanced the bowl onto one hand and knocked on the door.

“Mikan? Are you in there? Ibuki brought you dinner..”

For a few moments, all Ibuki could hear was silence. Maybe it wasn’t her place to come at all. Just as she was about to turn around, footsteps sounded from inside the cottage and approached the door. It slid open with a creak, and Mikan looked up to face her.

She was a wreck. Tear stains blackened by her mascara littered her cheeks, and her hair was knotted and wild. Ibuki recognized the clothes she had been wearing yesterday, now wrinkled and wet on the rims of her sleeves and neckline from snivelling. The shadows under her eyes had deepened significantly, and her eyes were droopy with exhaustion.

“C-come in..”

“Oh, Mikan. One second.”

Ibuki quickly stepped past the threshold and placed the bowl onto a table by a door, and then spun back around to close the door and wrap her hand around the other’s arm, leading her to the bed.

“Sit down, Mikan. What happened? How long have you been inside?”

Mikan sniffed and rubbed her nose against her sleeve.

“L-last night, I was j-just asleep, a-and then I g-got a r-really bad n-nightmare. A-and… I couldn’t g-get back to sleep a-after that.”

Ibuki noted the prominence of her stutter.

“Was it a normal nightmare?” Mikan shook her head.

“N-no.. Not just a d-dream. It was more l-like.. A vision… or a m-memory…” Fresh tears spilled out of Mikan’s eyes, and a strangled sob escaped from her throat. Ibuki sat down and rubbed soothing patterns onto the side of Mikan’s arm, waiting patiently for her to calm down.

“Does Mikan want to talk about it? You don’t have to say yes.”

Mikan paused, considering. Then she shook her head.

“Okay. Just know that we all get those nightmares too, okay?” Ibuki looked up to meet Mikan’s eyes. “Mikan isn’t alone. We understand you and everyone is here to help.”

Mikan nodded, inhaling deeply. Ibuki then remembered why she had come in the first place. She stood up and grabbed the bowl from the table, placing it on Mikan’s bedside stand.

“Here, Mikan. You haven’t eaten today, right? It’s still warm, and Teruteru made it, so it’s top tier! Five stars!”

Mikan gave Ibuki a hesitant grin. “T-thank you, Mioda-san.”

“No problem! Once we’re done, I’ll help Mikan clean up a little bit. Oh, and call me Ibuki!” Mikan’s eyes widened.

“O-oh, I don’t..”

“It’s no big deal! Everyone calls me by my first name. Besides,” Ibuki flashed Mikan a toothy smile. “I want you to use it. Ibuki thinks your voice is very pretty.”

A blush bloomed onto Mikan’s cheeks, and she quickly returned to her udon.

Grinning to herself, Ibuki went around the cottage while the other ate, cleaning up the space a bit. Ibuki didn’t mind mess, but she knew Mikan got stressed in untidy spaces. She opened the window, letting the cool night breeze flow into the cottage. Ibuki doubted Mikan had been outside all day, she could use the fresh air. Then, she made her way to her wardrobe and picked out something comfortable, and laid it next to where Mikan was sitting.

“Change into these! They’re clean and will make you feel better. Ibuki will look away.”

The blush on Mikan’s cheeks grew stronger.

“O-okay…”

While Mikan changed, Ibuki went into the bathroom and dampened a small towel. When she was done. She approached the other and began to gently wash the tear streaks and excess makeup off her face, holding her cheek as she rubbed. Ibuki could feel puffs of Mikan’s breath against her face, and a shiver ran down her spine. She quickly straightened up and set the rag down.

“There! Now, for your hair… oh, wait.” Ibuki realized Mikan’s hair had been smoothened and detangled. “Did Mikan already brush it?”

“Y-yeah.” Mikan confirmed. “While you were in the b-bathroom.” Ibuki nodded.

“Okay! Well, it’s getting pretty late..” Ibuki shifted to stand up. “I should to back to my cottage no-”

Ibuki felt a slender hand rest atop her own.

“Could you..” Mikan breathed. “Stay the night?”

Ibuki felt her cheeks burn as she processed Mikan’s words. It seemed as though Mikan also seemed to realize what she said, as her face immediately went crimson and she stuttered out apologies.

“I- I-I’m sor- I didn’t me- I really didn't- I-I don’t-”

Ibuki laughed softly and shifted her hand so it was holding the other’s.

“Ibuki knows that’s not what Mikan meant.” Mikan let out a sigh of relief.

“I-It’s just… I don’t want to get those n-nightmares again. I d-don’t want to be alone.”

Ibuki wrapped Mikan into a hug, feeling her bury her head into the crook of Ibuki’s neck. Ibuki ran her hands through her hair, letting the rise and fall of each other’s chests fall into a synchronised rhythm. Ibuki, before she could realise what she was doing, moved to press a kiss to Mikan’s hair. She stilled, and stood up sharply. Mikan looked up curiously.

“Ibuki is just gonna- shut off the lights- so we can sleep.” Mikan nodded. Apparently she hadn’t noticed. Ibuki felt the tension in her shoulders dissipate.

Once the lights were off, they laid back down in the bed. Ibuki hesitantly moved her arms to hold the other, and Mikan leaned into the hold, snuggling up to Ibuki’s chest.

Mikan’s hair smelled like citrus, Ibuki noticed. And that was the last thing she thought before she fell into slumber.

-

Ibuki had never woken up so warm.

Of course, she had had sleepovers with her friends and former bandmates in the past, but she had never fallen asleep so close to someone else.

Mikan was pressed flush against Ibuki, limbs slotted together and their blanket laying twisted and entangled between the two of them. Mikan was still fast asleep, face as calm as Ibuki had ever seen it. Her mouth was open, just a little, and Ibuki shifted her arm so she could graze her slightly parted lips with her thumb. Mikan’s nose twitched upon the contact, and her eyes opened with a flutter. Ibuki, realizing what she was doing, quickly pulled away.

“Good morning,” Mikan breathed, her throat croaky with sleep.

“Morning!” Ibuki, despite her body’s protests, pulled herself up to sit on the bed. “Wanna get ready for breakfast?”

Mikan, still half asleep, groaned and grasped for Ibuki, seeking her warmth, and tried to pull her back down to the bed. Ibuki giggled and pulled away, ruffling her hair.

“The sun’s out, Mikan! We gotta eat!”

“T-too tired.. Miod- Ibuki, come back..”

Ibuki’s grin only widened.

“Well, If Mikan doesn’t want to get up herself, Ibuki is going to have to do it for her.”

Ibuki stood up and leaned over the bed, and hooked her arms under the other’s legs and back. Lifting her bridal style, Ibuki began to do little spins around the room. Effectively woken up, Mikan shrieked, holding on for dear life, laughter bubbling out of her chest.

“Ah! I-Ibuki! Put me D-down!” Her words were separated with bursts of giggles.

Ibuki sat Mikan back down on the bed, breathing deeply as they calmed themselves down.

“O-okay,” Mikan was the first to break the silence. “I guess we should change out of our pajamas for breakfast no-” She cut herself off upon realising that Ibuki was still in her day clothes from the day before. Ibuki grinned sheepishly.

“Oh m-my goodness! I am so, s-so sorry Ibuki, t-that must have been so uncomfortable-”

“No worries, no worries, Mikan! Ibuki was perfectly fine. Although, these probably don’t smell very good now..” Ibuki wrinkled her nose.

“Well the very l-least I could do is offer you m-mine then!” Mikan rushed to the wardrobe, pulling out a tshirt and a pair of joggers- comfortable clothes they had received in their most recent shipment from the Future Foundation. “Here,” She said, and shoved them into Ibuki’s hands.

As she was changing into the clothes, Ibuki realized just how oversized they looked on her. Her usual skin-tight outfits were vastly different compared to this. Mikan was so tall that when she wore her clothes it looked as though she was drowning in fabric. She couldn’t care less.

As Ibuki took Mikan’s hand to drag her to breakfast, she took a moment to examine her state- she looked much calmer than last night; the droopiness in her eyes had faded. Ibuki felt an overwhelming rush of pride, and she squeezed the other’s hand, only growing more elated when she received another squeeze in return.

-

The days on Jabberwock Island were growing chillier. It was never truly winter in a tropical paradise, but the days called for sweaters in the day and light jackets throughout the night. Days on the island grew quieter as everyone settled in and pursued their own projects.

Ibuki couldn’t have that.

The quiet days, the unchanging rhythm of the tide, and the murmured words between her classmates were getting on her last nerve. One thing she missed about life before the killing game was the noise- her classmates had been energetic and motivated. This, for the most part, had been lost to guilt and memories.

As the end of December approached, Ibuki grew restless. New Year’s was approaching, and she had never once celebrated that night without fireworks.

That was why she was currently following Hajime around, suggesting ideas for a possible party- (Hajime would probably have called it ‘demanding’.)

“Please, Hajime! We could just bring some tables out to Jabberwock Park and eat some food! Hiyoko could dance! Ibuki could play some music! Ibuki knows you like kusamochi, what if Teruteru made a huge batch? Then would Hajime say yes?”

Hajime sighed and pinched his nose, but Ibuki could see the amusement in his eyes.

“We’d have to ask. You know we can’t make too much of a scene.”

“Of course Ibuki knows! But Hajime has worked so hard, he deserves something for his birthday! Maybe just some small fireworks, the ones that people light in their backyard? Oh, maybe we already have some on the fifth island…”

Hajime smiled. “I’m sure Sonia knows about that. I’ll have to ask her later.”

“So is that as yes?”

“..I suppose.”

Ibuki cheered. “Thank you, Hajime! Ibuki will make sure it’s spectacular!”

“Yeah, of course. Say, would you like to join me? Kuzuryuu is getting his eye checked out in the hospital by Tsumiki and I’m going to go help her run some tests, so you could go join her.”

Ibuki wasted no time in nodding confirmation, and they made their way to the hospital from the main island- Ibuki chatting to a calmly listening Hajime all the while.

When they made it up to the hospital room, Ibuki approached Mikan from behind and wrapped her arms around her, Mikan tensing and relaxing when she realised who it was.

“Mikan! Guess what! Guess what!”

Mikan turned around to face her. Ibuki was suddenly struck by how close they were- she quickly took a step back.

“Y-yes?”

“Ibuki is throwing a New Year’s party! Mikan is invited! Oh, and Fuyuhiko too.” Ibuki nodded to Fuyuhiko, who shrugged. “Anyways! You should totally come! We’re going to light fireworks and have a bonfire and roast marshmallows. Whadd’ya think?”

Mikan looked slightly overwhelmed. “S-sure..”

“Yay! Then you can watch Ibuki perform! I should probably write Hajime a song for his birthday..”

A flash of panic crossed Hajime’s face. “Oh, you really don’t have to, Mioda-”

“Nonsense! Everyone deserves a birthday song! Although, my voice probably doesn’t have the right vibe for what I have in mind.. Oh! Nagito’s voice is pretty! I should have him sing it!”

Hajime looked slightly nauseous.

“Anyways! Mikan, when do you finish up here? Ibuki wants to show you a new song she wrote.”

“O-oh.. maybe in 20 minutes or so?”

Ibuki nodded and grinned absentmindedly, mind already filling with ideas for the events ahead.

-

The next weeks passed uneventfully, Ibuki focusing on her preparations for the party. She had successfully bribed Teruteru to make the food (including an extra batch of kusamochi for Hajime, and Mahiru to capture the night’s events. Akane and Nekomaru enthusiastically helped her set up the decorations, and Ibuki guided Nagito into writing and performing a song. When New Year’s Eve finally came, and the sun had sunk under the horizon, everything was ready.

Festivities began, and Ibuki couldn’t help but gaze around proudly at the expressions on her friend’s faces. It had been so long since their class had been able to enjoy themselves all together without fear of disaster. Whilst the others were snacking and playing party games, Ibuki was setting up her electric guitar setup and consoling an especially nervous Nagito.

“You’ll be fine, Nagito! We’ve practiced this for a week! Ibuki thinks you sound great!”

“Ah, but I’ll probably get a surge of bad luck and it will be terrible when I perform it, who knows what could happen..” Ibuki stuck her tongue out at him.

“Ibuki thinks you can’t blame everything on your luck. If you make a mistake, that’s fine! Just keep going. Nobody but you is going to notice. If you freeze up, Ibuki will whisper the lyrics. No need to fear!”

Nagito gulped and nodded. Ibuki flashed him a thumbs up, turned on the mic, and cleared her throat.

-

The song went well, as Ibuki predicted. Her heart hummed with satisfaction- everyone loved the song. Ibuki knew her classmates didn’t enjoy her taste as much as she did, so she had let Nagito take the reins with writing it. It took a while to build up Nagito’s confidence, but the timid pride on his face in response to the overwhelming approval of his friends made everything worth it.

Midnight drew nearer, and Sonia called Ibuki to help her with the fireworks. She did, indeed, know about the island’s explosives quite well, and fished out some entertainment-purposes fireworks from a bin a few days earlier. They were smaller than corporate firework show tier explosives, but they would work just as well.

When they began the one minute countdown to midnight, Gundham and Akane prepared them into clusters on the ground far enough away for safety.

“Ten, nine eight..”

Ibuki caught Hajime and Nagito sharing a smile. Fuyuhiko and Peko were hand in hand.

“Seven, six, five, four..”

Kazuichi, already tipsy, was opening another can of beer mid chant.

“Three..”

Ibuki looked around for Mikan, to see who she was with.

“Two..”

Ibuki couldn’t see Mikan among the others. When was the last time she had seen her?

“One..”

Where did she go?

“HAPPY NEW YEAR’S!”

Hidden among her classmate’s celebratory cheers, Ibuki slipped away from the gathering unnoticed.

Ibuki walked the bridge towards the main island. Where had she gone? Why did she leave? Her questions didn’t go unanswered for long though, as her eyes locked onto a head of purple hair by the hotel pool, feet wading in the surface of the water.

Ibuki approached Mikan and sat down next to her, looking straight forward. She could still see the fireworks from here, flashes of gold, purple, and red illuminating the night sky. Ibuki took her shoes off as well, placing them down next to her, and sinking her feet into the water.

“Hey, Mikan. What’s up? Did someone say something to you?”

Mikan, broken out of her trance, looked up abruptly.
“I-Ibuki? Why did you g-go find me? Y-you worked so hard to set up the party, you shouldn’t be here..”

Ibuki looked sideways and leaned her head upwards so their eyes could make contact. Ibuki still make out the muted purple hue in the dark. Ibuki reached out and placed her hand over hers.

“Nothing else matters when it’s you. What happened? Is Mikan hurt?” Mikan shook her head.

“N-no, I’m not. It’s n-nothing like that. Sorry to worry you. It’s j-just… I don’t like loud noises. The f-fireworks would have scared me if I got too close.”

Ah. Ibuki should have thought of that earlier.

“That’s why Mikan went further away?”

“Yes. I s-still wanted to see them, but.. not so loud.”

Ibuki grinned and turned her head back to the flickering lights. They showed no signs of slowing down. As much as Ibuki would have appreciated the overwhelming noise and whoops and cheers of the others, she found herself perfectly content where she was.

“Hey, Ibuki..”

“Yeah?”

“I think.. I’m ready to love again.”

“Hm? What does Mikan mean by that?”

“W-well, I think.. When I finally broke out of E-Enoshima’s grasp, I t-thought that I was terrible. T-that the things I had done were too horrifying for m-me to be deserving of love. But now.. I-I think it’s different.”

“Ibuki is glad. Mikan is definitely worthy of love.”

“No.. what I m-mean is.. I think I love you.”

Ibuki whipped her head back towards Mikan.

“Come again?”

“W-well!” Mikan’s face had flushed red. “You’re always so caring.. And you make sure that I’m okay.. And you’re always with me, and I’ve never really had someone to depend on. I-I feel.. safe, when I’m with you. It always f-feels like the ground is falling underneath me, b-but you keep it stable, Ibuki.”

Ibuki shifted, sitting on her legs and looking up at the other. “So.. you love me? You’re sure?”

“M-more sure than I’ve been with anyone else. I-I understand if you don’t feel the same way, or if you want to keep y-your distance now, or if you h-hate me, but I really just wanted to-”

Mikan was stunned into silence as Ibuki lifted herself up, wrapped her arms around the taller girl’s neck, and pulled her into a kiss.

It was sweet, slow, everything Ibuki never realised she had wanted. Mikan hesitantly returned the kiss, hands hanging limp beside her, shoulders lowering as she relaxed into Ibuki’s embrace. The sound of the fireworks thrummed on, glowing colors reflecting onto the surface of the pool, tuned out by the pair.

The butterflies in Ibuki’s chest multiplied by the hundreds, energy coursing through her body, as they slowly separated, leaning their foreheads together.

“Nothing matters when it’s you, Mikan.” she whispered.

Mikan beamed, joyful tears pooling in her eyes, as she leaned back in and Ibuki’s back sank to the ground, their shared warmth cancelling out the chilly air.

And thus, the new year began with yet another pair of joined hands.