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“Hey Langa?” Reki had asked one night they were skateboarding. It was pretty late and they were on their way back from ‘S’.
“Yeah Reki?”
“Do you like anyone from school?” Reki mentally went through all the girls in their class, trying to figure out which ones would be Langa’s type.
“Yeah,” Langa replied. Wait, what? Since when did Langa like someone? And why hadn’t he told Reki about it?
“Wait, what? Who is it?” There was a beat of silence before Langa answered.
“You.”
Anddd Reki hit the ground. Literally. He fell right off his board.
Langa immediately slid to a stop, rushing over to where Reki laid in a heap.
“Oh my god, Reki are you okay?” Langa questioned, worry prominent in his voice but Reki just stared up at him with wide eyes.
“What did you say?” Reki must have heard Langa wrong, he didn’t mean he liked Reki, right?
“I-I asked if you were okay, it looked like you hit the ground pretty hard,” Langa’s hands frantically searched Reki’s body for any possible injuries.
“Wh- no before that, when I asked, uh, who you liked?” Langa pulled his hands away from Reki.
“Oh, I said you,” he replied nonchalantly. How was he so calm about this?? Langa couldn’t have liked him like that, right? Maybe this was a language barrier thing, Langa was barely literate after all.
“Uh-no, Langa, I meant who do you like , like romantically,” he laughed nervously. Langa just gave him a confused look. Ah so it was a language barrier thing.
“Yeah, I know. I like you, Reki. Like that .” Okay so maybe it wasn’t a language barrier thing. He stated it so frankly, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. This was not happening. Maybe Langa was just, confused. Maybe Reki still looked like a girl and Langa was just confused.
Reki had never told Langa that he was trans. He wanted to, he really did, but he was just so nervous that it would change things between them. Reki had never had a friend like Langa before and he didn’t want to lose that, but he felt awful keeping it a secret.
“Hello? Reki? Are you sure you didn’t hit your head?” Langa’s voice snapped him back to reality. He blinked a few times then finally answered.
“Uhm, I’m fine. Wait so you, like me, like, romantically?”
“Uhm, yeah Reki, you know this,” Langa said eyebrows furrowed together.
Reki definitely did not know this.
“What?? Uhm, no, I definitely did not know this , Langa!” He said, growing more confused by the second.
“Reki, I told you remember? I told you after- when- I,” Langa cut himself off before grabbing Reki by the shoulders, “Reki I forgot to confess.”
The two boys just stared at each other before bursting into laughter, collapsing onto the sidewalk. After a moment or two their laughter died down and they just laid there, staring up at the sky. To be honest it was pretty cloudy so they couldn’t really see any stars but that was okay.
“So... you like me, huh?” Reki said with a soft smile, turning his head to look at Langa. The other boy’s face quickly turned read and he hid his face in his hands.
“I can’t believe I forgot to confess ,” Langa mumbled into his hands, turning his face the other way. Reki sat up before leaning over Langa, gently removing his hands from his face. Langa looked at Reki briefly before averting his eyes.
“Hey,” Reki said softly, “Langa, could you look at me for a second please?” Langa reluctantly turned his head so he was looking up at Reki. Reki was still holding his hands.
“I like you too, Langa, um, like that ,” Reki said before gently intertwining their fingers. Langa just stared up at Reki, like he was in shock.
Then slowly a big, bright, smile crept onto his face.
“Really Reki?” He said grinning.
“Wh- yes Langa! I wouldn’t joke about this,” Reki said, starting to lose his confidence. Why are you so nervous Reki, he just said he likes you.
Suddenly Langa removed his hands from Reki’s and sprung up, tackling Reki in a tight hug. After what felt like years Langa let go, and now it was Reki looking up and Langa looking down at the other boy.
“You like me.”
“Yes,” Reki said with a nervous smile.
“And I like you!” Langa said enthusiastically, a big smile still spread across his face. Langa’s hands rested on Reki’s shoulders.
“Um, yes?” He did right? Langa liked Reki?
“This is incredible! At first I thought you didn’t like me back, because you know, you never brought it up! But I guess, I- um, never told you! I swear I had... but...uh, it’s okay! This is so much better, I really can’t believe this, Reki.” Reki’s brain was short-circuiting, he didn’t think he’d ever heard Langa talk this much at once in his entire life. What did he even say to that? How did he respond?
“Reki? Are you really sure that you didn’t hit your-“
But before Langa could finish Reki surged upwards to kiss Langa. Their mouths met with a hard crash, teeth clanging together. Okay maybe Reki had put a little too much effort into that. They both hissed in pain and Reki brought a hand up to his mouth.
“Shit! Langa, oh my god I ruined it, I’m so sorry I should have asked,” Reki spoke quickly, stumbling over some of the words. He opened his mouth to apologize again but quickly shut it when he felt a hand cup the side of his face. Reki looked and him and Langa had that stupid smile on his stupid face. His brain finally processed what was about to happen when Langa began to lean down. Reki quickly leaned forward and met Langa halfway. The kiss still had a little too much force than intended but it was far better than the last one. Reki sat up a little more, bringing his hands to the sides of Langa’s face and neck. Langa’s right hand slid up into Reki’s hair and his left grabbed at Reki’s waist, pulling him closer. Reki tilted his head to deepen the kiss. He wanted to kiss Langa forever, but unfortunately he needed to breathe. He pulled away slowly, his forehead resting against Langa’s. Reki held the world in his hands, gently brushing his thumb back and forth over Langa’s cheek.
And there they sat, just looking at each other.
“ Wow ,” Reki barely gasped out. Nice one Reki, real smooth.
But Langa just laughed and moved to press a light kiss to Reki’s cheek.
“Wow,” Langa smiled, “Not going to lie, I’m kind of in shock right now Reki. I really thought you didn’t like me back- that’s why I was so confused when you asked if I liked anyone. Reki I really thought that I had confessed you know? But- but then nothing happened so I just- I can’t believe you like me back Reki!” Langa moved his hands to cup Reki’s face.
And there they sat, holding each other’s faces in their hands.
“How could I not?” Reki smiled so brightly that Langa feared he would go blind.
“How could I not like you Langa, you’re, just, like, amazing . I’ve never met anyone like you Langa. If anything, I’m more surprised that you like me . I’m just some random boy from Okinawa, not some handsome Canadian prince charming,” Reki broke off in a nervous laugh. He brought his hands away from Langa’s face, but Langa swiftly but gently grabbed them.
“Don’t say those things about my boyfriend. You’re amazing, Reki. I’m- not very good with words, but you are so amazing Reki. You’re the most incredible person I’ve ever met Reki. You taught me how to skate, and have fun. Reki, you’re the one that taught me how to lo-“ Reki’s brain was quickly catching up with the words Langa was saying and quickly out a hand over Langa’s mouth.
“Okay, okay, I get it...” he said, face flushed, “geez Langa you're so embar- did you just call me your boyfriend?”
“Uhm... I guess I did. I guess I didn’t really ask you that either...” a beat of silence passed, “ Reki, be my boyfriend! ”
What.
“What?? Langa- are you serious?” Maybe Reki was hallucinating. Maybe he hit his head when he fell and this entire conversation was something his brain had made up.
“Yes I’m serious! We just kissed like, two minutes ago, why would I be joking?”
“I’m- I don’t know, I just,” Reki took a deep breath, wow this actually was happening, “yes.”
“Oh. Oh ! Reki!” Langa smiled so wide. Reki was in awe. This entire encounter had shocked him to his core. They both let out a soft laugh before Langa dove back in for another kiss.
This one was perfect. Their lips slotted together perfectly, as if made for each other. They moved in sync and Langa’s hand slid up Reki’s arm towards his neck. Wait a minute.
“Shit! Reki, you’re bleeding! I knew you must have got hurt when you fell,” Langa’s face scrunched up in worry, “Let’s get you home so we can clean this up, it’s pretty late anyways.” Langa stood up and held out a hand to Reki. Reki took the offer and hauled himself up off the ground. Usually this is where he’d let go, wiping the sweat off his hands. But tonight he didn’t let go. Instead he intertwined his fingers with Langa’s, because he could now. Because Langa was his boyfriend.
By the time they made it back to Reki’s house it was well past three in the morning. Reki cringed slightly at the thought of having to be awake in a mere three and a half hours. That was the life of a skater he reasoned. They snuck around to the back door of the house, Reki dragging Langa along by the hand. When they reached the door Reki turned to Langa.
“Are you sure you don’t want to stay over? My mom won’t mind,” Langa said, but he already knew the answer.
“I want to but I really should go home, my mom has tomorrow off so she will know if I’m not there in the morning,” Reki said and Langa’s face fell just a little bit.
“Okay...well then, goodnight Langa,” he sighed. Langa took a step towards him, hand reaching up towards Reki’s face. He leaned in, lips barely touching Reki’s, as if to ask permission. Reki answered by closing the distance, meeting Langa’s lips in a quick but meaningful kiss. He didn’t think he could ever get such a rush from a simple kiss like this.
“Goodnight Reki,” Langa pulled back smiling, swiping his thumb over Reki’s face. Reki felt the urge to move forward into another kiss but knew if he did he might not ever stop. So, he finally let go of Langa’s hand and gave him a small smile and wave as he carefully slid the door open and stepped inside.
As soon as he had successfully made it into his room without waking his mother or sisters he flopped onto his bed.
“Wow,” he whispered, before drifting asleep.
The next couple weeks flew by in a blink.
Sneaky secret kisses, some not so sneaky secret kisses that Miya may or may not have used to blackmail them. It’s not like they wanted it to be a secret, it was just a little more fun and excited that way. They told the gang eventually though, beginning to worry what Miya had planned.
So yeah, everything was going pretty great for Reki and Langa.
Until it wasn’t.
Reki was starting to feel guilty. Feeling like he was lying to Langa. Feeling guilty his boyfriend didn’t know he wasn’t dating a real boy. The guilt was eating away at him, how could he hide such a huge part of him from Langa. All these feelings finally burst out one Friday evening.
It was stupid, really. It had started off as a tiny disagreement over something Reki didn’t even remember and blew up into something worse.
“Reki I just want you to do well! I know how smart you are. You could easily pass all your classes if you just put a little more effort in or let me help you!”
“Oh please, who are you kidding Langa. I know you think I’m dumb just like everyone else does. I wouldn’t expect you to understand, how could you? Little miss perfect,” Reki spat out angrily. Something on Langa’s face shifted.
“I don’t understand? Reki, do you think it was easy for me to go to school after my dad died? Do you? How many weeks of school do you think that I missed? Let me help you, Reki. I know that you can do this,” Langa almost begged.
“I have enough to deal with without you up my ass all the time, Langa,” Reki shouted.
“Yeah, really? Like what?”
“Like, just. Nothing! You wouldn’t understand,” Reki repeated.
“Reki how am I supposed to understand what you’re feeling if you don’t talk to me,” Langa spoke. Was this fight even about school anymore? “I am always there for you, all the time. I just want to help you Reki.”
Tell him. Tell him the truth Reki. Tell him you’re not a real boy.
“I don’t want your help,” Reki snapped. A wave of hurt washed over Langa’s face, before it returned back to neutrality.
“Fine. Do whatever you want. Maybe we can talk once you’ve grown up a little.”
And with that Langa slammed the door. And there Reki sat. Alone on his bed as a tear slipped down his face.
“Shit.”
The next couple days at school were also shit. Langa wasn’t exactly ignoring him per say but they weren’t exactly talking either. To be completely honest Reki wasn’t even sure if they were together anymore. He decided he needed to do something about this. They needed to talk. So that’s what he said to Langa.
“We need to talk,” Reki said after class when they would usually skate home together.
“Then talk.” Reki winced at the cold tone of Langa’s voice, okay he probably deserved that.
“Langa I’m- I’m really sorry. I shouldn’t have snapped at you, I know you were just trying to help me. I understand if you want to like, take a break, or something. I understand. But I am really sorry, I am. I’ve just been dealing with some things recently, I guess. But that’s not an excuse I know!” Reki rambled on. Langa opened his mouth to talk but Reki kept going.
“So yeah, I just wanted to tell you that I’m really, really sorry. I didn’t mean to yell and I didn’t mean the things that I said. I do want your help and I appreciate you offering it. I appreciate you. But I- um, kinda fucked up so I get if you don’t want to, um, he with me anymore. I won’t be mad or anything, I understand.”
Langa looked at Reki for a second, not saying anything. Reki began to worry, this is it , he thought, he’s trying to figure out how to break up with me. Then Langa’s face softened.
“Reki, I,” he reached out to grab the redhead’s hand, “I don’t want to break up with you. I was just- upset, because I just want to help you because I know how amazing you are. But I don’t want to break up with you over something silly like this...I’m also sorry. You were right, too.I didn’t mean to push you too far. I shouldn’t have been so ‘up your ass’ as you so eloquently put it. ” Reki let out a soft laugh at this.
“I’m sorry Reki, I really didn’t mean to start a fight that day.”
Reki sighed and reached out to hold Langa’s other hand in his.
“I know... it’s okay. You just wanted to help me. I think the fight was um, both our faults to be honest,” Reki looked down at the ground. Langa gave Reki’s hand a small squeeze.
“Yeah, you’re right. We are pretty dumb sometimes, if you think about it.”
Reki huffed out a laugh, “Yeah, we really are,” Reki lifted his gaze to meet Langa’s.
“So we are...okay? Right?” Reki asked unsurely.
“Yes,” Langa smiled, “I think we are okay.” Langa leaned down, tilting his face to meet Reki with a short but sweet kiss to his lips.
And just like that they were attached at the hip once again. Back to their normal routine of spending every waking minute together, going to school together, going to ‘S’ together. Hell, they even worked together.
One night, Reki was especially hyped. He had won a beef and he was proud. It wasn’t a particularly big beef, he didn’t even really know the person he’d won against. But hey, a win's a win right? He’d take what he could get. Anyways, they were currently sneaking into, or attempting to, sneak into Langa’s house.
“Shhhhh, Langa ,” Reki laughed, “you’re going to wake your mom up.”
Langa just giggled and continued to try and fumble with his window. Why couldn’t they have just come through the door? Well Langa had asked this question but Reki had just said:
“Yeah, but I want to try sneaking in, like in the American movies! Have you never done this before?” Langa just laughed. He couldn’t say no to his boyfriend, he really couldn’t.
“Reki, I’m Canadian , not American. And no, I've never tried to break into my own house before.” He heard a faint click as he finally got the window open.
“Okay, I think I got it, but we have to be quiet okay?” Langa whispered, grabbing Reki’s hand and leading him through the window and down the hallway. At one point Reki stubs his toe and has to stifle a yelp, which just causes the boys to giggle.
“Shhhh,” Langa scolds, even though he is also laughing.
“You shh! Your house just attacked my foot! You should be apologizing on its behalf, not shushing me, ” Reki retorted, smiling.
“Do you think she heard us?” Reki asked. Langa thought about it for a second.
“Hmm...maybe, but I’m sure it’s fine,” Langa did his best to put a reassuring smile on his face, “hey, you were really good tonight. That one jump you did was really impressive.”
Reki blushed and covered his face with his hands.
“Stopppp, you can’t just say these things Langa.”
Langa took a step forward and wrapped his arms around Reki’s waist.
“What? Am I not allowed to be proud of my boyfriend?” Reki removed his hands from his face and set them on Langa’s shoulders. Langa moved a hand up to cup Reki’s neck.
“You’re so amazing, Reki.” Reki turned even more red. He was going to die. He was going to die and it was going to be Langa’s fault. So instead of letting Langa embarrass Reki with his words, Reki leaned in and kissed him. Langa stiffened at first but soon melted into the kiss. He tightened his arms around Reki’s waist and pulled him impossibly closer. Reki pushed up on his toes to deepen the kiss. He could fee Langa’s hands gently roaming his body, touching his face and neck and arms. Suddenly Langa pulled away. Reki opened his eyes to see an evil grin on Langa’s face. He quickly crouched down slightly, putting his hands under Reki’s thighs before hoisting him up so he was carrying Reki.
“Langa!” Reki said startled. He wrapped his legs tightly around Langa’s waist so that he wouldn’t fall, “don’t you dare drop me.” Langa just smiled and walked them over to Langa’s bed where he lowered Reki down. He just stared down at Reki for a moment, just taking in how beautiful his boyfriend is.
“What?” Reki says smiling up at him. Langa reached a hand up to brush the hair out of Reki’s face.
“You’re so beautiful Reki,” Langa said it like it was the easiest thing in the world.
“What is with you tonight? So sentimental,” Reki mumbled before putting his hand to Langa’s neck, pulling him back in for another passionate kiss. Their legs tangled together and their mouths interlocked effortlessly.
Tell him.
Reki hesitated. What?
Tell him that you’re not a real boy.
Langa opened his eyes when he realized Reki had stopped moving.
“Hey, are you okay?” he asked, concerned. Reki just nodded and met Langa’s mouth once more. Langa moved his hands away from Reki’s face and wandered towards his stomach, hand sliding just under Reki’s shirt.
“Reki, I love you,” Langa breathed out between kisses. Wait, what did Langa just say?
Tell him Reki. You need to stop lying to him. He said he loves you, but he doesn’t even know who you are.
It was too much for Reki. He sat up quickly, almost colliding with Langa.
“Shit, I’m sorry Reki. I know it’s really soon, I shouldn’t have just- sprung that on you. I took it too far, yeah?” Langa was quick to apologize. Reki laughed internally, you’re not the one in the wrong, Langa. You’re not the one who’s lying.
“No it’s- it’s not that Langa. I,” he took a deep breath, “I need to tell you something.”
Langa looked at Reki with wide worried eyes before fully sitting up.
“Yeah, yeah okay Reki. What is it?” He gently took Reki’s hands in his own and waited patiently for Reki to speak.
“I um, I’m really sorry that I haven’t told you yet. I was just, so scared, that things would change and I don’t know what I would do if you decided I was too- gross, for you and I just,” Reki was rambling. He knew this. But too be fair, he was really fucking nervous.
“I’m trans.”
Reki looked up at Langa, whose face was almost completely neutral. Reki continued.
“I just, um thought you should know. Because you know, you should know that I’m not a- not a real boy. I just didn’t want to-“ Reki sniffled, when had he started crying? “I didn’t want to lie anymore.”
But Langa just stared at him.
“Langa... please say something,” he said, mouth dry.
“Reki... you know I’m trans, too, right?” Langa asked.
Wait. What . No, this was definitely not information Reki had known.
“Wh- you are??” Reki said a little too loudly.
“Shhh, yes! Don’t you remember? I told you a couple weeks ago when- wait,” then Langa burst out into a quiet laughter.
“Reki,” Langa gasped, “I forgot to come out to you! Oh my god, maybe I should get a planner or something so I don’t forget these things...”
Reki took a second to process this information, then he too burst out laughing. Langa’s mom would definitely be able to hear them.
“We need to stop doing this, you need to stop forgetting things,” Reki scolded softly, “I can’t believe all this time I was so worried. I was so worried you would be upset about me not, you know, being a real boy-”
“Hey, no. Reki look at me,” Langa’s grip on Reki’s hands tightened, “you are a real boy Reki. You are my beautiful, perfect, amazing, boyfriend. If anyone tells you otherwise, send them my way and I’ll beat the shit out of them. Er- maybe Joe will. He’s probably more likely to win a fight… Anyways, I love you Reki, so much. My beautiful boy.” Langa smiled and placed a kiss on Reki’s forehead before wiping away his tears.
“I love you too, you know,” Reki mumbled. Langa just smiled at him, before gently dragging them both back down to the bed. Reki yawned, it had to be close to 3:30 in the morning by now. They really needed to go to sleep.
They laid there, their limbs entangled, Reki’s head laying on top of Langa’s chest. Reki could hear his heartbeat and feel each breath. Reki had never in his life felt more at home than he does when he is with Langa. He could feel Langa’s fingers running through his hair, his other arm wrapped snuggly around Reki’s waist. He could feel himself slipping out of consciousness, one thought entering his mind before he crashed.
This is where I belong.