Chapter Text
One time would have been nothing more than a passing irritation.
Of course, Ichinose was there, and he wasn’t the sort to leave things well enough alone, but even him passing the story on to everyone he knew and making sure the pictures got into the official file again to embarrass Nijo later, that would have been tolerable if it had just been the once.
It was not just the once.
The first time it happened, they’d followed a suspect into the subway, with the man assuming that since Ichinose wasn’t much of a runner, he could lose them in the crowd. If Ichinose had been alone, he might have been right, but Ichinose wasn’t usually stupid enough to work alone. He did his best to slack off, but for all that he was a lazy good for nothing slob, he had yet to let a criminal walk free.
Since his rookie partner was out with the flu, Ichinose had tried to con one of the others into going with him, and almost all of them found an excuse to get out of it. Nijo could have made one, too, but since he had a tip from his informant, he’d chosen to go with Ichinose and see if it was connected.
It was.
“Nijo, can you get ahead of him?”
“Are you expecting me to jump the turnstile and take him down in some flashy move?”
“It’s not really your style, but since the rookie’s not here, you want to give it a go?”
“Absolutely not,” Nijo said, and Ichinose smirked at him. Nijo outpaced him, closing the distance between himself and the suspect. Where others would have make some kind of flying tackle, Nijo preferred something more dignified. He used a kick to knock the man to the ground, taking out his handcuffs and locking his arms behind his back before he had a chance to catch his breath.
“Still a bit flashy, you know.”
“Not nearly as much of a show as Nanatsuki would have made,” Nijo said, but even as he finished, he found himself surrounded by a crowd of girls.
“Ikki! You were amazing!”
“Ikki’s so strong and handsome! And courageous! He took down a criminal!”
“Ikki’s the best! I’m in love!”
“Something you want to tell me, Nijo?” Ichinose asked, smirking with amusement. Nijo glared back at him.
Nijo pulled himself free of the girls hanging on his arm. “I believe you are mistaken. I am Kujaku Nijo, a detective with the metropolitan special investigative division seven. I do not know any ‘Ikki’ and if you touch me again—”
“Wow! Ikki is roleplaying! So cool!”
“Ichinose—”
“What, you want me to arrest them all? What are you planning on charging them with? I don’t think annoying an officer counts as a crime.”
“No, but it may well end up being grounds for murder.”
“Careful, Nijo. I might start thinking you’re threatening me.”
“I am.”
“Right.” Ichinose smiled, but he turned to the women anyway, taking out his badge. “I’m sorry to spoil your fun, ladies, and I have to admit, I do find this pretty funny, but he really is a detective. So am I. And our suspect there is due a long, unpleasant conversation down at the station.”
The second time, a girl came up to Nijo and Shikisai while they were discussing a case and put make up on him.
“Ikki! You’re missing your spade!”
He turned, frowning. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, but you—”
“Here,” she said, reaching up to stick something in his hair. He heard Shikisai make a noise, and he knew he must look ridiculous. He didn’t wear anything in his hair. He didn’t need or want it. “That’s better. It’s so strange seeing you without that or the one on your face.”
“That is because I am not—”
She interrupted him by pushing a sticker onto his face. He grimaced and pulled away from her, taking it off. The hell was that? He looked at it and frowned. A blue mark shaped like a spade from playing cards. Was that what she’d put in his hair, too?
“Oh, why did you take it off?” The girl wailed. “I only have one of them with me. Actually, since I use them so often, I’m out of all the ones I got from the fan club. Please tell me it’s not because of her. You’re not dating someone who isn’t part of the club, are you?”
Shikisai looked at him. “Fan club?”
“I have no idea what she’s talking about.” He pulled the offending object out of his hair before facing the girl, his arms folded over his chest. “I do not know you. My name is Kujaku Nijo. I am a police detective. This is Akane Shikisai, my fellow officer. We are in the middle of a case, and she is happily married to someone else. Please leave.”
“But Ikki—”
“Hey,” Shikisai said, her hand on her sword. “Didn’t you hear him? His name is not Ikki.”
“But…” The girl looked at Nijo and then at Shikisai, who went ahead and bared her teeth. The girl’s eyes darted to her sword, and then back at her face before making an apology as she turned and fled. Nijo shook his head, wanting to hit something.
“Hey, Belle,” Shikisai said, and Nijo forced himself not to swear when he saw one of the homonculus’ drones hovering nearby. “How long have you been there?”
“I’m a ninja. I’m always watching.”
“Enough with the spades,” Nijo said, throwing another one away. He knew it was Ichinose putting those things on his desk, and it was getting old. The prank seemed like more effort than it should be worth to Ichinose, who didn’t like to work at all, but it wasn’t like Nijo thought it was Shikisai or Bellemer doing it. Bellemer had shown everyone that video, but she was more likely to be obvious with putting the spades around the office, even if she was a ninja.
“Something bothering you, Nijo?” Endo asked, and Nijo looked over at him. The sniper seemed more amused than he should be, since he tended to be grouchy and not amused with Ichinose’s antics or those of their eccentric at best leader. “It wasn’t anything to do with that incident down in the lobby, was it?”
Nijo grimaced. “That was dealt with by building security.”
“Yeah, but that’s what, the fifth stalker fan girl this week, right?” Ichinose asked, leaning over Nijo’s desk. “There seems to be an unlimited supply of them, doesn’t there? After all, we haven’t seen the same one twice.”
“If at any time this ceases to amuse you and you want to stop it, please feel free,” Nijo said, tired of having his life disrupted every time he went outside. It seemed like any time they were in the middle of an actual investigation, he would be accosted by one or more of these girls mistaking him for Ikki and getting in their way.
Their suspect had almost gotten away yesterday because of it.
“You still don’t trust me?” Ichinose asked. “I told you I didn’t have anything to do with those girls.”
“Yeah, but I can get where Nijo’s coming from,” Nanatsuki said. “If it was just a one time thing, it wouldn’t be that big of a deal, but it’s gone past coincidence and really seems like someone is doing this on purpose.”
“Still doesn’t make it me, Rookie. With Nijo’s charming personality, I’m sure he’s made plenty of other enemies over the years.”
“Are you really calling yourself Nijo’s enemy? I thought you two understood each other now that we know what really happened to his brother.”
“Ichinose is not my enemy,” Nijo said, and the other man started to grin. “However, that does not make him any less annoying.”
Ichinose grimaced. “Whatever. It wasn’t me. It isn’t even one of Boss’ character building exercises.”
“I’m afraid not,” Kiryuin agreed, though Nijo actually hadn’t considered the possibility of it being him before today. “Until recently, I was rather unaware of the fan phenomenon. It’s not entirely dissimilar to dragon worship in a way, but it still wasn’t something I’d really heard of before. Humanity continues to find ways to surprise me.”
“Too bad it’s never in a good way.”
“I know. Why don’t we have Endo shoot one of them next time it happens?”
Nijo glared at Ichinose. “Special 7 is close enough to being disbanded as it is. Such an action, even with a tranquilizer dart, would guarantee it. Is that really what you want?”
“Of course not. I’m planning on spending the rest of my days here taking it easy.”
Nijo closed his eyes, refusing to dignify that. His phone buzzed, and he took it out to check the message. “I have to go meet with an informant.”
Ichinose grinned. “Be careful out there, Ikki.”
“My name is not Ikki.”
“Your timing is almost prescient.”
Black Pearl looked at him. “Oh, really? I admit I know far more than most, but even I am not omnipotent or psychic.”
Nijo reached for the gimlet the bartender set in front of him, taking a sip before setting it down again. “I may have been impatient about this one. Assuming you were able to find what Bellemer and I could not, I will be extremely grateful.”
“Does that mean I should ask for more than my usual rate?”
“That would depend on the information.”
“In that case—”
“It’s not fair!” A girl said, coming up to the bar. She latched herself onto Nijo’s arm and wailing. “I love you, Ikki. And it was my turn. I get three months, remember? I can’t believe this! What are you doing with her? She’s not a part of the fan club! She’s not even pretty!”
Black Pearl’s gaze narrowed. Nijo had no idea how insulted they might be by the girl’s words, but he did know that this had to end. Now. For one of them to follow him here, to disrupt his intelligence network… If this girl gave Black Pearl a reason to refuse to continue their business relationship, not only would he lose access to valuable intel, but lives would be lost.
He reached for the girl’s hand, prying it off his arm. “For the last time, I am not Ikki. My name is Kujaku Nijo, and if you cannot even recognize the man you are dating, you have far bigger problems than I care to think about. In fact, they may go so far as to where I would be under obligation to see to it you got proper treatment.”
“What?”
“You’re obviously jealous and dangerously obsessed,” Nijo told her. “I believe you should reconsider your relationship as well as these choices.”
“I… You monster! You’re horrible! You… You’re not Ikki!”
She ran out of the bar, and Nijo sighed. He picked up his drink again and took another sip, closing his eyes.
“I see this has been difficult for you.”
“They have been disrupting my life and work ever since our paths first crossed, all of them convinced I was this… Ikki, all of them dangerously and romantically obsessed. While it may have been an amusing joke to Ichinose, it is proving more and more dangerous. You have my sincere apologies.”
“It’s not like you to miss a stalker.”
“No, it’s not,” Nijo agreed, “but that girl was in the bar before we started talking. If she somehow knew to come here, it is admittedly an issue, but no one entered after I did, so she didn’t follow me in. I will look into how she might have known about it—”
“This may actually answer that question for you,” Black Pearl said, pushing the file toward him. “Personally, I think they’re overstating the resemblance, especially since you make no attempt to hide your elven heritage, but I can’t deny it’s there.”
Nijo opened the folder, his eyes drawn to the photograph at the top. He agreed they shared similar hairstyles and blue eyes, but as this Ikki was clearly fully human, Nijo didn’t understand why others were making such an obvious mistake.
“He’s a magic user?”
“There are unsubstantiated rumors,” Black Pearl corrected. “Given the range of dragon technology, it’s not impossible that magic could be used for seduction, but whether or not he is using such a technique could not be verified. Most of the information I did find was through the fan club, an extremely biased and… obsessive source, though it is true almost all of the members in it did claim to be in love with him, having fallen for him with one look in his eyes.”
Nijo grimaced. “That is extremely unpleasant.”
“You poor thing. I’m sure you have no idea at all what to do with that kind of attention.”
Nijo bit back saying that they sounded like Ichinose. “It’s not that. Crimes of this nature are extremely difficult to untangle and prosecute, some aren’t even properly seen as crimes. I will have to confirm whether or not he’s using magic to do this and put a stop to it.”
“Are you saying you wouldn’t put a stop to it even if he wasn’t using dragon technology?”
“It’s not for the police to interfere in private matters.”
“But?”
“But this is affecting my life and my work as well as theirs, so yes, I will put a stop to it.”