Chapter Text
“Chengling!”
Silence.
“Chengling, you’d better be awake!”
More silence.
“Zhang Chengling are you waiting for the sun to shine on your ass? Get up you’re going to be late for school!”
A slightly rumpled teenager pokes his head out from behind the door.
“I’m up, shushu, I was just brushing my teeth!”
[叔叔 shushu, paternal uncle but also used as a familiar term of address for men older than the speaker]
“Who’s your cheap shushu, hurry up before the meal gets cold.” Zhou Zishu means to sound stern, but Zhang Chengling just grins at him before ducking away, and he can’t help but smile softly to himself.
It’s a tiny thing, a brief feeling of normalcy for once in the last year of anxiety and misery, due to an incredibly complicated custody arrangement that ended with Zhang Chengling in Zhou Zishu's care. He hasn’t had many moments of feeling steady in a long time, and it gives him hope that he’s doing the right thing for once.
Zhang Chengling returns soon enough, and chatters to him about his latest class project, the reading he’s been doing. The kid still talks with his mouth full, but Zhou Zishu is learning to pick his battles.
“Ai, at least finish the meat!” he chides when his ward gets up, and Zhang Chengling visibly tries to hide a wince. Zhou Zishu coughs slightly. “It’s not that burnt today.”
Zhang Chengling is a filial child, and he chokes down the last piece of meat before rushing out the door with a wave. Zhou Zishu watches him leave with something anxious still twisting in his chest.
He’s not quite sure how things ended up this way. He cares for the kid, but Zhou Zishu wouldn’t have the first idea of how to actually raise a child. His own upbringing was filled with love and happiness, but as the last decade has proven, he is not half the man his adoptive father Qin Huaizhang was.
The last few months as Zhang Chengling finally settled into his new home had been fraught, with Zhou Zishu having to frantically research “how to parent” and trying not to be too hard on him. Beiyuan, that bastard, said his parenting style was like a tiger mum and drill sergeant combined. Zhou Zishu never expected to feel self-conscious about this kind of stuff, he’d always expected... He’d always thought he’d have a partner to figure this out with.
Zhou Zishu gets into his car and starts his drive into work, his heart sinking lower and lower with each passing traffic light. By the time he parks in the underground parking lot, he spends five minutes just staring at his steering wheel. Finally, he wrenches himself out of his car and rides the elevator to the top floor of their office building.
He emerges into the coolly minimalist office of Jin Corp and Tianchuang and breathes in the almost sterile-smelling air. This is the first day he will be working without Bi Changfeng at his side, his late father’s right-hand man and a second father to Zhou Zishu as he grew up. Bi-shu had been the last of the original Four Seasons Corp executives before their renaming to Tianchuang and merger with Jin Corp, and the only one to retire instead of resign. And he’d only held on that long out of loyalty to Qin Huaizhang’s memory, and because Zhou Zishu had begged him to stay. On his last day, they hadn’t exchanged many words.
“Ah, Zishu! There you are!” Helian Yi smiles at him from his office and gestures for him to come closer. Zhou Zishu pulls up a weak smile for his cousin and boss, walks over and closes the office door behind him. Helian Yi motions for him to sit. “Remember what I was telling you last week about the piece of land that’s right next to the development we own in Liuli?”
“You said the surveyors finally found that there was a part of it that doesn’t actually belong to Five Lakes,” Zhou Zishu says, and Helian Yi’s face darkens slightly as he nods. Zhou Zishu’s gut clenches slightly. The development in Liuli is highly dependent on Jin Corp acquiring the aforementioned plot in that block, which would give them the green light to build a megacomplex worth millions of yuan. It would be a decisive blow against their biggest competitor, the Five Lakes Corp who owns the vast plot of land right next to Liuli and who have the exact same plans. It all comes down to who can find the owner of that plot first.
“Yes, yes. Due to the fire at the council offices three years ago it was assumed that that plot was part of a sale to Five Lakes two decades ago, but luckily the surveyors found a much older survey that clearly separates the two pieces of land. Unluckily it also means the current owner of that plot has been hard to track down, but we finally have a lead.”
“What do you mean?”
“Have you heard of Ghost Valley?” Helian Yi has a slight smirk on his face. Zhou Zishu raises an eyebrow.
“You mean the real estate company that’s seen a meteoric rise to the top through hostile takeovers and aggressive campaigns?” Zhou Zishu says this, though he knows he’s in no position to judge. For Tianchuang to be where it is today, for any big corporation to survive, they must all resort to unsavoury means one way or another. Tianchuang isn’t special, no matter what Zhou Zishu told himself in the beginning.
“Yes, indeed that’s the one. They claim to have found the owner, and he’s willing to sell through Ghost Valley at the protection of his identity. We’ll have to enter into bargaining against the Five Lakes dogs.”
“Can we trust this Ghost Valley?”
“That’s where you come in,” Helian Yi says, and Zhou Zishu feels a headache coming on. “You’ll be the one taking the lead on this project, and I know we’ve got an edge against Five Lakes. They’ve been slowly crumbling ever since Gao Chong was forced to retire in disgrace and Zhao Jing took over. They can’t hold out for as long as we can. In the meantime, I want you to keep an eye on Ghost Valley as well, see if they’re hungry for a bigger piece of the pie than they deserve.”
“When do you want me to start?”
“Next week will do. Ghost Valley knows how important this deal is, so they’ve sent their best.”
“Who is it?”
“A woman named Luo Fumeng. She’s the right-hand woman of the CEO of Ghost Valley, so try to be… more personable, Zishu.”
Zhou Zishu makes a face at his cousin, who laughs at him as he leaves the office. So now he’s in charge of an incredibly delicate and immensely important project, on top of trying to investigate a company that’s as cutthroat as they come. Fucking great.
Zhou Zishu is halfway through his day when he receives a call from Zhang Chengling’s school. A call that tells him Zhang Chengling was in a fight. His dumb, clumsy ward who probably can’t even fight a chicken? The idea is ludicrous, so it must have been provoked. For a moment his heart seizes with worry for him, but then the crisp voice on the other end of the phone tells him that Chengling is unharmed and he must come to pick up his son immediately. Zhou Zishu hangs up feeling... Some sort of way about Chengling being referred to as his son.
Helian Yi is happy to let him go for the day, smiling indulgently at him as if he’s amused at the idea of Zhou Zishu being a parent to an unruly kid. And to be honest, he can’t even blame him.
He rushes to the principal’s office to find Zhang Chengling sitting slouched and uncomfortable on the chairs outside. A pretty girl of maybe sixteen is scowling at the floor in the chair opposite, with a boy of the same age trying to tug at her sleeve while she keeps pulling away and hissing at him.
Zhang Chengling jumps up when he sees Zhou Zishu, and runs to hug him. His heart jolts when he realises that he had been crying.
“Shushu, I didn’t get into a fight! I really didn’t!” is the first thing Zhang Chengling says with his face creased in desperate anxiety. He then understands – Zhang Chengling must have thought he wouldn’t want to keep a troublesome kid, thought that maybe Zhou Zishu would abandon him too.
“It’s fine, Chengling, I’m just glad you’re alright,” Zhou Zishu tries to say soothingly, but the kid seems inconsolable.
“Ai, here you go again, dropping tears like gold beans!” the girl suddenly speaks up, pointing at Zhang Chengling with an accusatory finger. The boy next to her looks mortified, and tries to silence her to no avail. “Dummy, this is why people pick on you! Where’s your fucking backbone, limp dick!”
The girl’s speech is so unexpectedly vulgar that Zhou Zishu is actually speechless for a second, before his face hardens.
“Chengling, is this who was picking on you?” He doesn’t know what’s in his expression, but the girl shrinks into herself with another scowl, her eyes darting away.
“Nono, she’s the one who defended me!”
“You have it wrong mister, Gu Xiang would never!” The boy next to – Gu Xiang, Zhou Zishu supposes, has the most doe-eyed look of supplication as he holds her hand. Interestingly, she doesn’t pull away this time.
“Cao-xuezhang is right,” Zhang Chengling tugs at Zhou Zishu and explains, “it was another group of boys, five of them. They’d given me a little trouble before, but nothing serious and I didn’t think much of it. But today they tried to beat me up and then Gu-xuejie came and beat all of them up. They’re not here because they’re at the nurse’s office.”
[學長 xuezhang for male school seniors, and 學姐 xuejie for female school seniors]
Zhou Zishu turns to peer at Gu Xiang more closely. Her knuckles are bruised and there’s a scrape on her arm, but otherwise she seems remarkably unscathed for taking on five people.
“You should see the other guys,” she says with her teeth bared, and Zhou Zishu has to press his lips together to keep from smiling. He’d almost forgotten what teenagers could be like, given Zhang Chengling’s docility.
The principal emerges from his office then, glaring at Gu Xiang and then turning to smile nervously at Zhou Zishu.
“I’m so sorry to have this happen on my school grounds, Mr Zhou, I really must apologise, and rest assured we will take steps to discipline Miss Gu.”
Zhou Zishu frowns. “She was protecting Chengling, it was those group of boys that instigated the attack.”
The principal’s expression cracks a little. “We are still investigating the incident. And nonetheless, fighting is strictly prohibited. She should have gotten a teacher.”
“What the hell!” Gu Xiang yells as she stands up, “So I’m supposed to let them beat up dummy over here while I run for help? This was on the far side of the school, if I left would he even look human after those motherfuckers were done with him!?”
Zhou Zishu opens his mouth to reword that more palatably, when he is interrupted by another voice, so jarringly familiar that it sends a thunderclap through Zhou Zishu's bones.
“Indeed, why can evil people act unjustly and be forgiven, while good people are just expected to suffer?”
He whirls around and stares at Wen Kexing, who has just come around the corner. When Wen Kexing meets his eyes he visibly startles as his face pales, and his gaze is like a hot poker that sears through Zhou Zishu’s soul. His mouth is terribly dry, and his heartbeat is a roar in his ears.
Wen Kexing looks as good as he ever has, in clothes far more tasteful and refined than his university days, his hair grown out slightly longer. His face is still as beautiful as carved jade, his peach blossom eyes still as bright and clear. Zhou Zishu can feel his entire body resonate like a plucked string, settling into a loud hum.
There’s a beat of silence that seems to last longer than even awkwardness could tolerate, before Gu Xiang flings herself into Wen Kexing's arms.
“Ge! Tell them it wasn’t my fault this time!”
[哥哥 gege literally older brother but also another familiar term of address to males slightly older than speaker]
Wen Kexing raps her head with his knuckles, and she yelps. “The fact that you have the face to even say ‘this time’ should bring you some shame, silly girl,” Wen Kexing is slowly chiding her, even as his eyes never leave Zhou Zishu's face.
Zhou Zishu can understand how he feels.
It’s been – shit, it’s been nine years since he’s seen Wen Kexing, and the last time they spoke to each other –
Wen Kexing was gripping Zhou Zishu’s arm in one hand, the other cradling his face close, searching his face for some kind of sign that he hadn’t meant any of what he just said. He was crying, though the tears disappeared into the rain soaking them both. Zhou Zishu couldn’t cry, had run out of tears a month ago and Wen Kexing only gripped him tighter and tighter until his bones protested.
“You… don’t leave me, A-Xu, please please please I can’t lose you, I will lose my mind, and I love you so much, please,” he babbled, his voice rising in hysteria, “I need you, I need you.”
“Lao Wen, I…”
What had he said in reply? Most of that night had been a blur of heartache and grief, and after they tumbled into bed for the last time, Wen Kexing had…
Zhou Zishu feels the urge to grab his left wrist, the skin under his watch tingling as if in remembered pain.
Wen Kexing stares at the love of his life, and feels himself swaying as if buffeted by the memories of ages past. He’s even more beautiful than he remembered, and how is that possible? He’s so beautiful it hurts to look at. He’s so beautiful it’s breaking his heart all over again to see him standing across a hallway that might as well be a chasm, with nine years and change between them.
He sees Zhou Zishu’s left hand clench slightly, and his gaze darts down despite his entire willpower demanding he not do so. No wedding ring. No wedding ring. And the boy standing next to him is clearly at least fourteen and in no way his biological son. Wen Kexing doesn’t know what that means and he hates that he still cares, that it’s driving him insane.
“Ge?” Gu Xiang says questioningly, and Wen Kexing snaps back to himself. If even his silly girl has picked up on the tension, it must have been bad. He dredges up his brightest, most meaningless smile and turns to Zhou Zishu, who flinches at the falseness.
“A-Xu, I haven’t seen you in too long. What a surprise to see my old university xuezhang here of all places! I see you’ve met my little Gu Xiang. Don’t mind her potty mouth, I swear I taught her human language but she continues to speak in tongues.”
“I… it’s… it’s fine,” Zhou Zishu mumbles, a little thrown off, “I should thank Miss Gu for protecting Chengling, I appreciate it.” Gu Xiang turns wide eyes to him, as if shocked that he’s thanking her at all. He isn’t sure what to make of their relationship – they’re definitely not blood siblings as Lao Wen is an only child, but they seem as close.
“Mr Wen,” the principal interjects, looking none-too-pleased about being ignored, “I remind you that Miss Gu has had many warnings before this, and thus I must insist that suitable discipline be applied -”
“Nope, not happening.” Wen Kexing smiles a shark’s smile, “Talk to your board, I think you’ll find they will be willing to overlook Gu Xiang’s little indiscretions. I suggest you discipline the band of thugs you call your students however. I don’t want to be troubled by such things again.”
The principal’s face pales and starts to sweat, before he stammers something and practically runs back into his office, slamming the door shut. Gu Xiang sticks her tongue out at the closed door.
Some things never change, Zhou Zishu thinks. Apparently Wen Kexing still likes to throw his weight around a little, throwing money at problems until they went away. But whereas in their youth it was out of childish temperament, now there’s a sharper edge to it that he can’t put his finger on.
“Dummy! You’re not still crying are you?” Gu Xiang cries, squishing Zhang Chengling’s wet face in her hands, “Aiyah, are you a leaky faucet, you look disgraceful! Cao Weining, we’re taking him to the bathroom to clean him up!” Gu Xiang barks at the boy, who snaps to attention with admirable speed and hustles Zhang Chengling away. Zhou Zishu watches all of them leave, and smiles; despite her harsh words, Gu Xiang’s actions are gentle as she swipes at the tears on Zhang Chengling’s face.
“Ah, A-Xu, you can’t just smile like that all of a sudden, I haven’t had exposure in nine years and my poor heart can’t take it.” Wen Kexing had been aiming for light and maybe a little cutting, but it lands somewhere between bitter and pathetic.
“Lao Wen…” Zhou Zishu doesn’t know what to say. Sorry I broke your heart and abandoned you, sorry I betrayed my promises? Sorry that hurting you was the worst mistake I ever made and it’s the one regret I’ve held all my life?
“Nevermind,” Wen Kexing says, his eyes darting to the floor, “I’m just… surprised. To see you here.”
“Me too. I thought… I thought you went abroad after…”
“I did. I came back, three years ago,” Wen Kexing says, still studying the floor. It feels… weird. In their university years Zhou Zishu had to get used to being stared at constantly by this man, and now that Wen Kexing is actively avoiding his face he finds it… disquieting.
“How have you been?” Zhou Zishu asks, and wants to wince at the triteness of it. Wen Kexing flicks his gaze up before quickly looking away again.
“Do you really care?” he retorts, and okay, maybe he deserved that but Zhou Zishu still scowls.
“Do you think I’d ask if I didn’t?”
“I don’t know what you think anymore, A-Xu.”
Zhou Zishu wants to kick him. Fuck, he’d forgotten how aggravating it can be to talk to Lao Wen sometimes, and worse still when the blame really does lie in his own court. Maybe he should just quit while he’s ahead; Wen Kexing is unlikely to want anything to do with him anyway. And it hurts to know that.
“Forget I asked,” Zhou Zishu sighs, and runs his hand through his hair. “Let me go collect Chengling, and I’ll have to thank Gu Xiang again. It was… It was good seeing you, Lao Wen.”
Zhou Zishu turns to leave, trying to ignore the nagging feeling that he’s making yet another mistake, that there are still words left unsaid between them. It’s been nine years, they’ve both moved on with their lives; even if Zhou Zishu has held this sour coal of regret in his chest, Wen Kexing surely wouldn't -
“Did you marry her after all?”
Zhou Zishu freezes, before he turns around slowly. Wen Kexing is staring hard at the noticeboard outside the office, and… oh fuck everything to hell and back. His peach blossom eyes are slightly red rimmed, and his fists are clenched at his sides.
“I didn’t,” Zhou Zishu says quietly, and Wen Kexing flinches like he’d been struck a heavy blow.
“So what was it all for then, huh?” Wen Kexing says, smiling with no humour, more just a baring of teeth like a wounded animal. Zhou Zishu hesitates, before he walks back to Wen Kexing and slowly, very slowly, reaches up to his chin to turn Wen Kexing’s face towards him. He’d expected Wen Kexing to pull away, to step back. He doesn’t.
Wen Kexing’s eyes are wet, and there’s anguish that’s years old and deep set, worn into the fabric of him like a wine stain that won’t wash out no matter how many tears he sheds.
“I’m sorry, Lao Wen,” Zhou Zishu says softly, and Wen Kexing hiccups a little.
Wen Kexing looks at Zhou Zishu’s face and feels his heart ache. How can someone be this beautiful and exist close enough to touch? He remembers when he’d travelled to Italy and saw the statues by Bernini, had been amazed at how something as hard and unforgiving as cold marble could be carved into something soft, sensual, and full of passion. That is what Zhou Zishu’s face is like; his angled jaw and pointed nose, straight brows and full lips are somehow softened and made vulnerable, something that made one’s heart itch to protect him, to have him for keeps.
Wen Kexing was once able to catch that face in his hands, to crash those lips against his own, was once able to wring the most exquisite of sounds from the long column of his throat. He’d been drunk with the thrill of it, the joy of it, the possessive clamour in his heart that only made him want to grip tighter, bite harder, thrust deeper.
Once upon a time.
And now looking at his face so closely, he can pick out the tiny little changes; a couple of new lines, slightly deeper crow’s feet. The lightest, almost imperceptible scar on his jaw. He looks tired. Wen Kexing knows A-Xu’s face better than anything else in his life, has studied it like one studies a map, learning the ridges and valleys and borders that define one’s entire world. He knew looking at A-Xu’s face would be a mistake. Letting him look and not fall in love again – or as it were, fall deeper in love, would be like asking a fish to fly and a bird to swim.
“Lao Wen, I didn’t mean -”
Wen Kexing does pull away then, shoving Zhou Zishu away with one hand and curling it back to clutch at his own chest. “Forget it. It’s water under the bridge,” he mutters, more to himself than anything.
There’s an ache in Zhou Zishu’s ribcage, and he wants to sigh, wants to make him believe the sincerity of his regret. But he’s spent all the goodwill Wen Kexing would ever waste on him, and it’s only now, face to face with him again after all these years that Zhou Zishu feels the enormity of what he’d done, the consequences of his own thoughtless actions.
Anything he might have said - what could he say? - is interrupted when Chengling and the other two come bouncing back.
“Shushu, can we go home now?” Chengling asks, blissfully unaware of the tension. Gu Xiang on the other hand, takes one look at her brother and whirls around to Zhou Zishu.
“Hey what the hell did you say to my gege?” she demands, and Wen Kexing tweaks her ear.
“Leave it, A-Xiang. We’re leaving now,” he says, and turns around before he can catch himself looking at A-Xu again. Cao Weining follows after them like a puppy, and Wen Kexing tolerates it for the moment.
Zhou Zishu watches them until they’re out of sight, and when he turns to Zhang Chengling, his ward’s eyes are as big as saucers.
“Shushu, was that really your xuedi? How long has it been since you’ve seen each other?”
[學弟 xuedi male school junior]
“A long time,” Zhou Zishu replies, and feels the weight of it.